Another Step

Estelle was surprised when Katsuki showed up at her door on Saturday afternoon holding a rucksack. He frowned as he regarded her, causing the female to tilt her head in curiosity as she backed up to allow him further into the room. "I'm staying with my parents tonight. Just letting you know so you ain't sad n' shit when I'm not downstairs."

Feeling a sudden rise of peculiar emotions, Estelle scoffed as she pushed them aside with hidden annoyance. "You don't need to tell me, y'know."

She would never accept what her immediate reaction was, no way. She did not feel her heart drop; it never happened. Nope. Nada. Nothing.

"Tch, yeah, sure. Whatever you say," Katsuki snipped back, a glare on his face as he gazed down at Estelle with evident disappointment that twinged the female's soul. Suddenly feeling a bit lost on what to do next, Estelle shuffled on her feet awkwardly as she tried to find the right words.

Eventually, she landed on, "Well, uh, have fun?", leaving her to wince at the unsureness in her tone. Waiting patiently for the blonde to turn around and walk away from her lack of reaction, Estelle lifted her head from the ground once she heard his growl and loud footsteps heading her way.

She was immediately met with Katsuki's chest, an arm wrapped around her waist as the other held the back of her head. Freezing, her hands slowly raised to his chest to push him away, a sudden warmth brimming through her in a way that made her want to run. It was futile because, by the time they reached his chest, the comfort surrounding her settled into her bones and slackened her limbs. Slumping into him, Estelle loosely gripped onto his shirt as her eyes locked, a small part of her mind whispering, 'Just this once.'

Eventually, she could feel subtle movement before the spikes of Katsuki's hair tickled her neck. His hot breath followed, and Estelle knew she would have tensed from the closeness if she hadn't relaxed. Her brows furrowed slightly, wondering in her brain as she questioned why he would hug her if he was only leaving for one night.

"Just letting you know so you ain't sad n' shit when I'm not downstairs."

Was he talking about himself rather than Estelle herself? If that was the case, the thought bothered her. Ignoring her strange emotions, she immediately trailed her hands to rest on his back and tautened her grip to soothe the idea. Estelle's eyes dilated slightly from his groan of approval, his face moving from side to side as if he was snuggling further into her neck. Estelle didn't need to see his face to know that he was grinning at her efforts, and the knowledge sparked warmth in her cheeks as he embraced her tighter.

"You're sleeping has gotten better. But, if you need me. Just call, idiot," He continued as if they hadn't stopped conversing for the last fifteen minutes.

"I'll be fine," Estelle muttered, indignation in her veins at the fact he thought she wouldn't be able to cope without him.

Bakugo seemed to see right through her words as he gave a light chuckle. "You brat. What am I gonna do with you?"

'Leave me.'

Estelle's eyes broadened as the body holding onto hers stiffened. She didn't know what caused the words to tumble past her lips, but before she could retract anything, the blonde had drawn back, his hands already on her face as he shouted. Stunned from the aggressive action, Estelle could barely open her mouth before he interrupted her.

"Shut the fuck up," He snarled, a sudden shift from the more delicate words he had given just a moment ago. The female snapped her mouth closed, her eyes avidly watching him as Katsuki's face twisted into a furious expression.

The slitted eyes Estelle was observing suddenly advanced whilst Katsuki leaned down quickly, and it was only when her body lifted that Estelle began to panic. "Wait!" She hollered out, her body jerking as she was now only balancing on the hands that held her up by her thighs.

Unfortunately, the blonde wasn't listening; his lips raised in a snarl as he moved quickly. Estelle's legs immediately wrapped around his waist to keep herself balanced as her hands landed on the back of his neck. Opening her mouth again to try to calm the rage Estelle had accidentally caused, she let out a harsh breath once her back landed against the wall behind her.

Panicked still, Estelle quickly tried to wiggle out of his hold, a light blush on her face from their position. Only when he barked, "Stop moving like that!" her eyes drifted up to his only to find a blush covering his own cheeks.

Suddenly feeling like she had caused something else to happen due to his red-faced reaction, Estelle admitted defeat as she slanted against the wall to gaze down at him in attention. His face was still flushed, his wide eyes trailing over her with fury from the words she accidentally voiced. She had no escape as he tilted forward, his gaze piercing into her own as he demanded, "Have I ever given you any indication I was leaving?!"

Wincing, Estelle's tone was slightly bashful as she tried to explain. "It just slipped out. Ignore it. It didn't mean anything."

"Why was it even the first thought in your pretty head?!" He argued back, his head tilted up menacingly as his fingers dug into her. Extending her mouth to answer, Estelle's attention was swiftly caught by his gritted teeth. The blonde's jaw pulsed as he clenched his mouth painfully as if he was forcing himself to remain in control, and Estelle couldn't stop her hand from instinctively moving to his cheek to relieve the tension. Her thumb brushed back and forth, the light pulse of his muscles underneath her fingertips beginning to relax the more she focused on it. After a few long moments, it loosened enough for her to be satisfied, and Estelle knew it was time to give an explanation.

"I, uh, I", Estelle started awfully with a red flush before taking a plunging breath, "This is temporary."

The hands holding her thighs tensed at the reminder, and Katsuki's ears roared as he glowered. Violently shaking his head from the answer, the blonde was baffled by the idiotic response. Could she not see that he spent every free moment with her? Was she really clueless that she would believe he was prepared to leave her in any word? Wasn't it Katsuki himself that deserved the right to those worries?

Katsuki's thoughts spiralled as he held onto her, too many words in his head and not the right words to say out loud. As much as the reminder pained him, his fingers clenched onto the flicker of hope within it. He wasn't the only one thinking of her departure, she was too, and it had to mean something. He was a winner, goddammit, and he would not let that opportunity be wasted.

"But that's not me leaving you. It's youleaving me," The teen started seriously, his eyes close to Estelle's as he forced the words to hit her in the soul.

Estelle knew he was right and failed to hold back her wince from the piercing to her heart. She had no authority to say things like that, not when she was adamant about returning to her world. But, it didn't seem to hurt any less.

The blonde seemed satisfied by the expression on her face and resumed as Estelle lingered on his previous words. "So, I don't wanna hear that shit coming from you. Especially when it's not true. Got it?!"

Nodding, Estelle muttered in assent before the blonde visibly softened. His sweaty hand reached out to the side of her head as if silently telling her to look at him, and once she did, he leaned forward. A gentle heat landed on her jaw for a moment before her legs were swiftly guided back to the floor. Estelle's heart stuttered at the action, pink on her cheeks as she computed that he had kissed her once again.

The smirk was evident in his tone as he turned around and picked up the bag he had dropped to the floor at some point during their antics. His final words chimed out before the door closed, "Don't do anything rash, or you're dead."

Estelle stared at her phone with a glower. She refused to call him; she wouldn't, she couldn't.

She woke up panting for air, hysteria in her veins as she searched for something to ground her. Nothing worked before she eventually shuffled out of the covers, her body too scalding to take in the stream of heat rushing through her body.

She didn't need him.

Getting up and quickly waddling down the hall, Estelle held a deep frown on her face as her eyes scrutinised the nooks and crannies of the walls. She reached the kitchen quickly, her trembling hands heating up a warm glass of milk before ambling into the living room cupboard. Pulling out her colouring books and pencils she had secretly stashed a while ago, she tiredly shuffled to the couch to ease her sleepless night.

It didn't take long for her to get through the first page, the shades of colour less clean and precise than usual. She was unhappy with it and knew she was rushing through it, hoping it would ease her mind.

Scowling, Estelle detested it. It looked like a child had drawn it rather than a good piece of art. It only helped to make her feel more foolish at her attempts to soothe herself. She was a warrior, goddammit. She had suffered through worse conditions than this. It made her feel like a lost child, scrambling in the dark as she tried to make her way out of the woods. It infuriated her. How did she manage the inclinations of her past when she could barely keep her mind sane in the present?

Shouldn't she be better than this? Considering that she wasn't in a war zone anymore, she was in a relatively safe place. So why now? Why did she manage everything okay when things around her were at their breaking point? How did she keep going?

Why was she so powerless now?

Why was the blonde's presence the only solace on nights like these? Especially when she slept like a baby whilst spirits wailed in the background at home. It just didn't make sense, and the conundrum would only further her confusion and frustration. They said she was strong, but Estelle never felt like it outside of battle. She felt like she was hindering them, guilty for even being in their presence. Her hand pressed the pigment into the paper harder as her mind rampaged in her head, and Estelle could only simmer in it as the night drew on. Her irritation at herself was evident on nights like these. If she could throttle herself, she absolutely would.

"Estelle?"

Jerking from her thoughts, Estelle realised that the colouring pencil in her right hand had snapped from the pressure. Moving them to the side quickly, hoping the new arrival didn't notice, she winced as his eyes never strayed from the broken pieces. "Mr Aizawa? Shouldn't you be asleep?"

"I should be saying that to you. I returned from patrols not long ago; I was just heading to my room. But, I saw you here, and I figured I would check up on you."

Mr Aizawa knew Bakugo wasn't here tonight, considering the blonde had to ask him for permission to leave the grounds. He hadn't thought much of it, but when he saw the lights in the living room, his worry for the teen skyrocketed with the knowledge that she was alone.

Shuffling forward to sit on the couch opposite, he didn't even try to hide the concern on his face as he surveyed her.

"I'm okay."

"There's no need to lie, Estelle. Like I've told you, anything you say is safe with me."

Knowing he was right, she wondered if he would be able to shed some light on her introspections. She was getting nowhere thinking about it on her own, and it was becoming a cycle she was quickly getting fed up with. "I...had a nightmare."

"Was it a nightmare?"

"Well, no. Not really; it was more like a memory."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Mr Aizawa leaned back in silence as he permitted Estelle to debate her answer. He could see the conclusion on her face and was relieved she had decided to open up on her own terms. "There was a Cambion. His name was Keres. He was Kiko's older brother."

"Ah, I remember Kiko mentioning that he had brothers in your memories."

"Yeah, he had two. When I found the dragon's den, I realised I had also found what remained of Kiko's family."

"That mustn't have been easy. To see Kiko's family after his death."

"It wasn't. Especially since the two brothers didn't know he was dead," Estelle deadpanned, knowing her teacher would be able to put the pieces together.

Mr Aizawa sucked in a deep breath, comprehension dawning on his face at the implications of that. Estelle had to tell his brothers about Kiko's death. Pain struck him for a moment before he recognised that he needed to keep himself in check; Estelle needed the space to talk about these things without worrying about a reaction. "I'm sorry you had to do that."

Shrugging, Estelle answered blandly, "Yeah, well, it had to happen."

"Was the memory about that?"

"Not necessarily. Keres had accepted what had happened without any blame for me; I never felt like I deserved it. But, the oldest, Aniwir, despised me. He hated that I was the cause of Kiko's death and that I was the one leading the war.

He had been misinformed as a child that he was the one who would defeat Aite. He was the one the prophecy spoke of, who would take charge and win the battle. He trained for it but later found he didn't hold the power for it. So his rage increased knowing that his brother's killer was also the one who had taken his rightful place as general."

"His death was not your fault," Mr Aizawa reminded, his brain whirling at the new information thrown at him.

"I stayed with the two brothers for a while as they resided with the dragons as a safe haven. I got to know them, and eventually, Keres told me he wanted to join my ranks in the war."

Closing his eyes, Mr Aizawa tried to block out the feeling of his heart dropping to his ass. He could only close his hands tightly in fear of her following words.

"I...accepted as long as he focused on support. Honestly, I didn't want to be responsible if anything happened to him. I wanted to ensure he was fully trained and ready for a fight."

'She's using the past tense,' He realised, his heart aching as he forced his ears to listen.

"One day, Anwir decided he had enough. I should have noticed the signs sooner, but it was difficult to differentiate what was suspicious and pure hatred for me. So, he packed up his bags, left a note and disappeared into the night."

"I, Emelia and Keres was training with the dragons when Keres decided he wanted to end his session early. I didn't think anything of it, but when I returned to the hut, I found the note on the outside deck. It discussed how Anwir felt as if I had stolen what was his and how he would find the power to return and take his rightful place. He would challenge and slaughter me for my position as general, and he would defeat Aite.

I immediately knew Keres had left in search of his older brother; why wouldn't he? I shouted his name with no answer, and I immediately told Emelia to return to the dragons to request aid for a search. I scoured the terrain for hours, and the dragons joined me, looking for Keres. We knew Anwir was likely long gone, so his younger brother was the priority.

We managed to get a hold of his scent, which faded from earlier that day's rain. And when I reached him..."

"You don't have to say it."

"His arm was the only thing left, the promise bracelet on it, and that was before it faded away."

"I am so sorry."

"You have nothing to apologise for. I failed again, I failed Kiko, I failed Keres, and inadvertently, I failed Anwir. Both of his brothers dead as he trekked on a suicide mission to gain power and kill me. It was a mess."

"You did not. You did everything you could for those kids. If Anwir left without his younger brother, he would have had to have known he would follow. Nobody expected it, and it was nobody's fault."

Estelle's throat tightened at his words, her mind feeling hazy after explaining the events in detail. Hearing white noise in her brain, Estelle quickly counted her breaths before she finally returned to reality by Mr Aizawa's voice. "Telle-"

"Hm? Sorry, I'm okay."

"How have your episodes been?" He asked worriedly, his eyes scanning over her as she appeared like she was bracing herself for something.

Estelle frowned at the question, her previous frustration blooming into her soul. Estelle debated if she should tell the truth, lowering her head with an aggravated purse to her lips. She retorted to a question in her indecisiveness. "Is it normal for it to happen even if the events are over?"

Perplexed, Mr Aizawa nodded in agreement. "Of course it is."

"But, why? I just don't understand why I'm having them now. I've survived so much more than this. I am not helpless." Estelle vocalised, her hand on her head as the irritation flowed into her tone. Her teacher could recognise that she was berating herself for it. His lips tilted down at the view she had of herself. What else did this teen have to do to look at herself honestly? It was an impossible standard to set, and she had already done more than an average person would in a lifetime.

"Have you ever heard of delayed-onset PTSD?"

Confused, Estelle shook her head. No, she had no idea what that meant, and honestly, when she researched the topic, she only saw generalisations of PTSD before deciding she had seen enough.

"Everyone deals with life events differently. There's no time frame for it. Delayed-onset PTSD is when individuals experience the condition long after the events have occurred. It can take from six months to years for it to show."

"I've even heard of cases where the condition gets triggered when the individual experiences different life changes or stressors. For most people, that can be a new job or a divorce. But, I can imagine being dropped into an entirely new world would be a trigger for delayed-onset PTSD."

Estelle gazed at him with wide eyes as he explained, her mouth glued shut by the revelation he had just confirmed. The teacher noticed her expression, his own dropping to sympathy as he cushioned his voice.

"You aren't weak for experiencing this, y'know? I can imagine how confusing it must be to suddenly have your mind constantly remind you of stuff you want to forget. But, it's the brain's way of coping with what's happened. It's perfectly normal for you to struggle with this, especially with everything you've gone through."

Feeling a wave hit her from his understanding, Estelle didn't even realise a tear had dropped from her eye. Feeling bare in front of the man who was her teacher, Estelle aggressively wiped the water from her cheek as she responded, annoyance towards herself still within her words. "I'm just so frustratedby everything; I've handled so much more. But, I constantly feel like I'm at my wit's end because my head won't leave me alone."

"Understandable. But, Estelle. Just because your condition began when you arrived in this world. It doesn't mean it will stop when you go back. It takes a lot of mental work to manage, and you deserve to move on. Let us help you. You shouldn't have to live like this."

Seeing her frame tremble, Mr Aizawa quickly shuffled off his couch to sit next to her. Wrapping his hand on the back of her head, he pushed Estelle into his chest to console her as she revelled in her pain. His heart clenched tightly within his rib cage, and as much as Mr Aizawa hated to see the solid female fall apart, he knew this was a massive step for her. He could only hope that now she had admitted how bad it was, she would accept the help he had offered ages ago.

"How bad have they gotten?" He murmured, wondering how she had gotten to the point where she broke in front of him. He hadn't expected it, yet at the same time, he did.

From what he could see, he knew she suffered from it, yet it never seemed to interfere with her work or school life. He wondered how much she endured alone, not saying a word to anyone when episodes occurred. He was aware of the few instances the class had been there for an attack. He couldn't deny the fact he was proud that they had managed so well in grounding her.

He made a mental note to ask Bakugo about it later. He knew that boy had helped more times than he would admit. He spent every moment with the girl, yet he never mentioned it to anyone else. The fact she broke when he wasn't here wasn't lost on him. He guessed that Bakugo was why she had managed this long, but as much as his help was appreciated, she needed to know how to handle them alone.

Especially if she would return home without anybody at her side.

"Every day, but the severity changes," Estelle muttered, breaking her teacher out of his thoughts.

Sighing, his questions were answered with that response. Bakugo had defiantly taken that challenge in without a word. Considering his actions when she was drugged, he seemed to know what would trigger her or not. "Would you consider going to a session with Hound Dog? If you don't like it, you can come to me?"

"...Okay."

"I'm proud of you. It may not feel like it, but you have persevered through thick and thin and continue to keep going. I'm proud of your resilience, I'm proud that you're coming to us, and I want you to know that there is strength in tears. Remember that you don't have to win a fight to be strong. There is no time limit to recovery, be kind to yourself.

Feeling her shoulders quiver, Mr Aizawa pursed his lips as he observed the female try to haphazardly reign herself back together. Shaking his head, he knew this was just another one of her negative habits, and he loathed it. Forcing his hands to unclench, the male compelled himself to remove himself from the anger directed at Estelle's previous life. He wished he could get rid of it all, give her a clean slate, but Aizawa couldn't, so the least he could do was make sure she wasn't bottling it for her own sanity.

"Nothing ever leaves the two of us. You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about, and you deserve to cry after everything you have done. It's the least you deserve, so give yourself that. I'm here; I've got you."

Estelle could only hold onto the male tighter as if she was trying to consume the words whole. Her tears free falling as she allowed herself to just be, and Mr Aizawa let her, his hands stroking her hair until the early morning hours.

"Hey, look at me."

"Hm? Oh, you're back," Estelle answered, turning her head to face the new arrival with startled surprise.

"Tch, yeah, I'm back. Cm'ere," he grumbled back, his feet stomping on the ground as he landed on the bed with a thud. Estelle watched him and bit back her smile as he stretched his arms wide in an unspoken request.

The female sighed with a small smile as she shook her head fondly. Too tired to argue and to question when he got in her room, Estelle stood up and walked over to her bed, landing on Katsuki's lap, her legs on each side of him as she fronted him. The male grinned, his hands automatically going to her back as he clutched her. "How was your sleep, sweetheart?"

"Fine."

"The bags under your eyes say otherwise. Spill."

"It's okay, Ruby; I had it handled."

Leaning back to gaze up at Estelle, Katuski muttered with a frown, "Why didn't you call me? I had my phone on me the whole night."

Stilling in surprise, Estelle's heart warmed as she stared down with a gentle smile. "I was okay, and Mr Aizawa helped too."

"Really?"

"Yeah...He convinced me to speak to Hound Dog."

Amazement covered the blonde's expression, and it was only when the words fully sank in that a sparkle lit up his face. Estelle leaned back, watching the scene with hidden awe since Katsuki looked like he had been given a gift, and Estelle inwardly had to question if she was the one to cause that.

The expression quickly changed, and Estelle had to lean back from the exaggerated look of suspicion as he scanned her. Laughing at the absurdness of it, Katsuki interrupted with a question. "You're not kidding?"

"Why would I be?"

"Cheeky brat," he began scoffing, his hand thumping her head lightly before resting his palm against her cheek. "But good, I'm glad."

"Least I won't be waking you up every night," Estelle joked back lightly, hoping to alleviate the softness he was showering her.

"Tch, I couldn't care less if you woke me up every day for the next hundred years. But, that's not good for you. You need to be at your best; I don't want you slipping because of it."

"I'd be fine," Estelle muttered, wondering when they had gotten to a point where he could say things like that with such ease yet made her heart turn into a racetrack every time he did so.

"You always would be, sure. But mental strength is just as important."

"That makes me sound like a frail child."

"So stubborn, brat. It makes you sound like someone who's been through a lot and is making their way to the other side. You ain't frail in any sense; that's what I like about you."

Flushing, Estelle leaned back to gaze at Katsuki with her mouth agape. The blonde swiftly widened his eyes as they stubbornly moved to their laps, his red cheeks barely hidden as he internally melted in front of her.

Ignoring the anxiety within her chest, Estelle decided it wasn't the time to think deeply about it and allowed a slight smirk to land on her lips. Leaning forward again, she murmured, "Ooooh, you do, do yah?"

Flushing pinker, the aggressive blonde was clearly struggling as he forced out a quick shout. "Shut up!"

"What else do you like, Rubyyyy?" Estelle crooned back into his ear, her smirk broadening at the hitch in his breath.

"Stop that!"

Putting her hand on her cheek and adding pressure to emphasise her keen interest, Estelle continued, "I'm intrigued, spill!"

"Stop teasing!" He howled, luminous pink, as he flung Estelle onto the bed, grabbing a pillow and throwing it into her face.

Letting out a loud giggle at his flustered expression, Estelle grinned widely as the blonde tried to pull himself back together. He wasn't very successful, and it was evident by his frustrated growl that he wasn't happy with how the conversation was going. Turning towards her, Katskui lunged like a man on a mission, "Why, you little-"

"Get off me! No! Hahahaha!"

"Thought you could tease me with no repercussion! Think again! Laugh till you die!"

"Kat-"

"DIE!"