Consoling Loved Ones

Dipping her spoon back into her cereal bowl, Estelle jolted in her seat as tiny limbs wrapped around her middle. Jerking from the unexpected action, the silverware clanging against the ceramic bowl so loudly that she winced, her eyes met with wide, innocent globes for a moment before she softened.

The noise alerted the rest of the students, their heads spinning to the duo quickly before relaxing at the picture. It was the student's day off, and most of them ate breakfast later than usual, so it was no surprise that Eri had made an appearance. The young girl was often seen around the dorms at various parts of the day, usually attached to Mirio by the hip as they worked on Eri's quirk.

"Estelle! I did it!"

Giving Eri a gentle smile as she could not hold herself back from such a glowing grin, Estelle reached over to lift the girl who was awkwardly holding onto her because of the positioning of her seat. Situating her nicely on her legs, Estelle chuckled when Eri used the new position to her advantage, her tiny arms wrapping around her neck as she leaned up in anticipation.

Assuming Eri was chattering about her training, Estelle murmured, "Well done, cub. You made that lizard better, huh?"

Eri's whole body bounced as she gave an exaggerated nod, her delicate voice holding a new strength to it as she cheered, her legs hanging on each side of Estelle's thighs, dancing back and forth as she revelled within the praise from the female. "Uh-huh!"

Estelle grinned, giving a secretive wink as she whispered, "Do you want to know something?"

Intrigued, the young girl nodded rapidly before moving her head so her right ear was in full view.

"I knew you could do it."

Estelle simmered in her delight as she witnessed those adorable eyes turn expansive with astonishment that never needed to be there. It was no shock to realise that Eri probably had never received much praise just like she had, and the knowledge made Estelle's heart pinch. It flared something within Estelle, a deep desire to ensure the little girl grew up with only a distant memory of what happened with Overhaul. She would get to grow up surrounded by good people who would be able to water her wilted flower into full bloom.

She hoped the savings she requested Mr Aizawa to put aside for Kota and Eri would be enough for them to feel supported when they left the nest. It was odd to Estelle that money was so important, but she knew it was because it never mattered in the spirit realm. The only thing that came close was trading, but money was never a part of that transaction. Usually, it was weapons, charms, woodworking or home items.

She just wanted to make sure they would be okay and happy.

"You did?" Eri eventually asked, disbelief in her voice as she held onto Estelle's neck tightly.

Holding back her wince at the fact Eri was touching the skin Estelle had made bleed a few days ago from her insistent scratching, Estelle ignored it in favour of scoffing as if Eri was ridiculous for questioning her. Raising her voice, she exclaimed, "Of course I did! Who helped Izuku take out a big bad villain?"

"Me?"

Feeling her soul melt into the chair at the cute tone, Estelle wasn't prepared to let Eri simmer in her uncertainty. "It sure was! It certainly wasn't your best buddy, Mr Snuggles!" she chimed, her head jerking towards the stuffed rabbit she dropped to the ground in her haste to reach Estelle.

Eri giggled, briskly shaking her head at the accusation before yelling, "Mr Snuggles isn't my best friend, silly! L'Million, Deku, and you are!"

Estelle felt her cheeks lift instantaneously from the correction, her chest unable to hold the intake of emotion from such honest words. Yanking her tiny body up to her shoulder, Estelle cooed, "Now, don't let Mr Snuggles hear the end of that! He'll never let it go! The horror! Someone cover his ears!"

Squealing at the sudden action, Eri let out a loud laugh as she gripped Estelle's back for dear life, shouting, "He's not real, silly!"

Gasping in mock astonishment, Estelle fought back her laugh as she answered, "Now! Now! You're really going to hurt its feelings. I truly do apologise on Eri's behalf, Mr Snuggles! Eri sure doesn't know what she's talking about. Don't worry! You're still my friend," Estelle finished, standing up with Eri still slouched over her shoulder as she faced the stuffed animal on the ground. Her feet remained rooted even when she noticed the giggles around the room, suddenly reminding her that she wasn't alone. Feeling a flush on her cheeks, Estelle consoled herself that it didn't matter that she was potentially embarrassing herself, not when Eri was so happy.

"Hey! No fair!" Eri squawked again, her voice turning muffled as her face was stuck into Estelle's back. Shuffling her body so Estelle was essentially holding her around her waist, she mumbled, "Is Mr Snuggles really your friend more than me?"

Pausing from the sudden change in her tone, Estelle tried to stop the broadening of her vision as she noticed the slight frown on her face. That wasn't what she anticipated, and the slight panic that hit her brain jolted her when she realised she had been silent for too long. Feeling her voice tighten, Estelle breathed to ensure she was still communicating softly. "Now, what would make you think such a thing, cub?"

Shifting uncomfortably, Eri took a moment to play with the fabric on her shoulders before looking up at the otherworldly hero with shy uncertainty. "It's just...You don't come to my sessions. Y'know, since L'Million and Deku always come to see me, you're never there. Is it because...Do I remind you too much of the bad things? I get it. It must be painful."

Estelle was shaking her head before the young girl on her hip could even finish speaking, a pained noise leaving her lips at the realisation that Eri must have been questioning her absence for a long time. She wondered why the hell nobody had come to her about this before. She had always asked Izuku how her training went; she would have made time for the young one if she knew.

"No, no, no, no," Estelle chanted, gripping the back of Eri's head and pulling it into her neck like she was cradling a baby. Her entire being lurched as tiny hands gripped her tightly, emphasising the extent of her pondering and pain that Estelle was never around. "That's not it at all. No bad memories would keep me away from you, do you understand? It's not because I don't want to be there, Eri."

"Then, why?"

Sighing, Estelle gazed at the ground for a moment before looking at the inquisitive child in her arms. "Y'know how we defeated that big bad villain?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I haven't defeated mine yet."

Eri seemed to perk up at those words, her hands gripping Estelle's shirt with a desperate intensity as she looked stunned by the piece of information. Estelle could hear the students shuffle behind her, evidently unsure if Estelle should even be telling the news to such a young child, and prepared themselves to step in if necessary. Estelle appreciated the thought regardless because the last thing she wanted to do was make Eri worry over her unnecessarily. "You haven't?! But you told me he was gone! Are you going to be okay?!"

The students stared in stupefaction as they wondered when Estelle had told Eri that information. But as they thought about it more, they figured it must have been that day she took Eri into a separate room before Nyx revealed himself.

Estelle nodded, her face turning at ease to reassure the scared girl. She smiled faintly, saying, "I thought he was gone, but he's back. I've been swamped trying to take him down, but I will be okay. Do you know why?"

Eri tilted her face, her expression slacking at the pillow that was Estelle. Yet, the question remained, "Why?"

"Because you inspired me."

"What's inspired?"

"It means I look up to you."

"Huh? Why would you look up to me?" Eri questioned, utterly bewildered at Estelle's words.

Closing her eyes from the broad smile across her face, Estelle leaned forward to kiss Eri's forehead before answering the question on everyone's mind. "Seeing you do your best every day, even after what happened, makes me want to do the same."

Stunned silence.

"Y'know, I'm so proud of you. I know how scary the big wide world is when you leave someone who controls it. Yet, you pushed on. You never gave up. So, I know that when I go out to fight my own big bad just like you did, I'll be okay. Because if Eri could do it, so can I."

Teardrops fell from sweeping eyes, unblinking as they regarded Estelle with so much emotion it was challenging to differentiate from them all. "B-but you three are the reason why I'm so strong! It doesn't make sense for you to look up to me when I look up to you!"

Allowing the laughter to leave her lips, Estelle grinned, vast and happy, as she shook her head. "Who's to say we can't be each other's strength?"

Eri only seemed to be more flabbergasted by the response, more tears leaving her sockets before her lips stretched wide across her face. "Yeah! I guess you're right! You're really proud of me?"

"So, so, so proud!" Estelle immediately assured, turning to the rest of the students smiling at the scene. "I'm sure the rest of the class agrees!"

"Yeah! We look up to you, too!"

"You're amazing!"

"We're so proud of you!"

The verbal agreement from the rest of the students seemed to knock right into her, her face scrunching up lovably as she tried her best not to cry again. Estelle couldn't help but unwind at the picture, her own heart seemingly able to stitch itself just a little, knowing that she had given Eri something she never got to have when she was younger. That knowledge was more significant than any gift, so leaning down into a whisper, she muttered, "It's okay to cry. We're here for you!"

Eri burst into tears once again, her smile unable to leave her face as she tried to wipe her eyes to clear her blurry vision. Sniffling through her nose, she croaked out, "You don't have to come to my sessions."

Perking a brow, Estelle asked, "Are you sure, cub? If you want me there, I can make time for you. I would have earlier if I had known."

Admantly shaking her head, Eri seemed stubborn as she responded, "No. I want you to do your best, and then when it's all over, you can spend all your new free time with me! We can be free together again!"

Everyone seemed to grow silent from her words, a mute communication around the room, hidden underneath the surface at the awareness that once it was all over, Estelle may no longer be here. The words seemed to hit Estelle the hardest, her head tilting away from the stern expression with an agony that hit those who had seen it. The look disappeared within a few moments, her lips lifting weekly in answer before changing the topic entirely.

Though, Eri seemed to have caught onto the lack of answer, her eyes turning severe for a few moments whenever Estelle looked away. Her expression brightened back up every time, but it was evident to everybody but Estelle that Eri had understood the cause; Estelle was always vocal about going home. It was no surprise.

Estelle hadn't had much time to mull over her conversation with Shoto the other day. Since he had forced her to acknowledge what was hidden beneath the surface, Estelle had no idea how to react. It was like a nagging doorbell, ringing in her mind like a loop that wouldn't stop.

She shouldn't be sitting in war planning and pondering her feelings. Seriously, what the fuck was that? She shouldn't be fighting and wondering what to do about Katsuki before cutting off a spirit's head. Estelle most definitely shouldn't be thinking about Katsuki so much that he invades her thoughts in every quiet moment.

It was as if the bandage had been ripped clean off; she was thrust into simmering in her emotions relating to the aggressive blonde. Everything about Katsuki was infesting her senses, and it was utterly maddening. Why should one single person be on her mind so much? Why was her brain reacting so stupidly to the information that had been revealed to her?

For god's sake, she had a war on her hands, yet her thoughts trailed back to him like she wasn't slicing and dicing spirits throughout the day. It felt utterly ridiculous, and Estelle had no idea how to get rid of it.

It didn't help that Katsuki's presence was still the same around her, consistently visiting her for nighttime and gifting her presents that made her want to scream (Yet, she didn't know why she wanted to scream? Was she happy? Upset? Agitated at her own blushing? All of the above?)

She knew it was pointless to try to push him away. It never worked and only seemed to hurt the two of them. But, gods, she had no idea what to do, and Estelle figured that was the worst part. It wasn't exactly a situation she was familiar with; maybe she should google it?

'That sounds crazy; what would I even type? How to stop thinking about the male species? Ew, that makes me sound like some harlot. How to stop thinking about a person? Never mind, human google would probably encourage it.'

The influx of thoughts around Katsuki made Estelle feel more human, and she knew that that new piece of information would probably overjoy Hound-Dog. But Estelle was in a war, dammit. It felt so out of place, and the reminder that she needed to be a general made her feel guilty. She couldn't be a general when she was Cheshire grinning about a new rose he had gifted her last night.

It felt weird to be so elated over his gifts, so much so that she had to force her composure. It was as if every rose was helium to the heart, taking her higher and higher to the moon before she dragged herself back down to earth.

'He really is wreaking havoc on my mind right now. Never mind war on the battlefield when theirs already one going on inside me.'

But she knew, even though Shoto had forced her to realise what was inside, she couldn't reveal it to Katsuki. As much as the blonde would probably be ecstatic over the news, it would only make things much harder. She couldn't do that to him, spark up his hopes only to burn them to the ground. That wasn't fair, but he was making this challenging simply by being around her.

"Damn, Deku!"

Jolting from her bed, Estelle whirled her head to the entrance to find the man of her thoughts trailblazing into her room with complete annoyance. The frown on his face was deep, and it was evident that he hadn't caught onto the fact he had utterly startled Estelle with his presence.

Estelle shook her head, the previous thoughts disappearing as she fought back her smile from his aggravation. "What happened this time?"

Flopping into the bed, his shoulder hitting hers lightly on the way down, Katsuki's arm instantly wrapped around her middle as he complained. "That damn quirk of his. He's a pain in my ass."

Turning to her side, her arm perched up so she could look down at him, Estelle raised a bow, "He's always a pain to you. I'm surprised you're taking so much time to help him."

Frowning, Katsuki looked away for a moment, grunting, "Tch, yeah. It's because we're the only ones who know, and you have enough to deal with."

Curious at his reasonings, Estelle prodded, "Really? That doesn't mean you have to help him. He does have All-Might."

"Hah! That old man has no clue what he's doing, either. The multiple quirk thing is entirely new for him, too," Katsuki began before pausing. Peering up at her inquisitively, the side of his lips tilted up for a moment before he softly questioned, "What's with the sudden interest? You wanna know everything about me or something?"

Forcing the blush to remain under her shirt, Estelle bit her lip as the slight smile on Katsuki's face broadened into a grin. "You do, dont'chya?"

Shrugging in hopes it would hide her fluster, Estelle swiftly replied, "You've grumbled about Izuku more than enough for me to wonder about the dynamic. I can't help but be a little curious."

Seemingly content that Estelle was interested in him, Katsuki was quick to shrug, muttering, "Tch, we used to be childhood friends."

Moving her head back slightly, Estelle wondered how that little piece of information had slipped by her. "Really? I knew you both went to the same school, but I never anticipated that you two would have been friends."

Katsuki hesitated, his eyes trailing to the ceiling as he tucked his hands behind his head. It was evident by the stare that he was almost tentative to speak up, so Estelle stayed quiet, her eyes boring into him as she waited for him to speak. Eventually, he expressed in a hushed voice, "It was before I found out he was quirkless."

Estelle stilled, some form of recognition flickering through her mind as pieces of memories slotted into place. It suddenly made sense why he had been so aggravated by Izuku using his quirk at the start of the school year. Focusing her sights back on the male, Estelle's voice was equally quiet as she murmured, "Is that so?"

Katsuki didn't respond, his lips pursing as he looked away to stop Estelle from being in his peripheral vision. But Estelle had immediately caught the expression, her eyes broadening slightly in stupefaction from the unexpected emotion.

Estelle has seen that expression many times in her life. She saw it in the mirror, those tightened sockets around her globes showing the full extent of her feelings. She had felt many glimpses of it during her old war but had been so adamant about keeping her emotions in check that she had thought it here more than anywhere else she had been.

Guilt.

Her body reacted immediately, a reflex that lurched out of her, gravitating her to the blonde who still hadn't looked her in the eye since he had spoken. Her hand brushed against the soft cushion of his cheek, her thumb grazing him back and forth like a gentle comfort as she tried to defeat the tightening of her throat.

She didn't like the emotion on Katsuki. Despite how much Estelle had lectured him on his pride and his determination to remain on top despite the faults, Estelle had appreciated those features of him more than she cared to admit. Katsuki was strong in many ways but lacked a lot, especially in the beginning. It had been evident to her from the start that his worldview was skewed somewhat by the praise that had constantly been bestowed on him, but she had seen the changes, and he had only become better for it. Still, guilt didn't suit Katsuki.

Katsuki seemed to breathe the comfort in, his eyes closing for a few seconds before finally meeting hers with everything he truly felt. Her heart squeezed at the action, almost suffocating, as she realised he was showing her everything. He didn't even try to hide it from her; that simple fact alone made Estelle want to weep.

The light spirits may be on the 'good' side, but they lack genuine emotions. Not many people were that honest. It never felt real, and Estelle was okay with that simply because she had her job. But, Katsuki was like an open window, allowing the breeze to flow in and out in front of her, and all she wanted to do was sit by the ledge and watch the sunset.

Forcing her mouth to move, Estelle murmured, "We all do things we aren't proud of. Nothing you could say would change my opinion of you; you should know that. Plus, I don't think I have a leg to stand on either," she finished with a weak shrug, her thumb still caressing his skin as he viewed her like she was some sort of undeserved fallen angel.

Dropping his eyes, Katsuki scoffed, "Tch. It's different. You were saving a goddamn world."

Estelle raised a brow, her mind flickering back to the memories of the unnecessary evil she had committed simply because she was hurting. Iris is one of them. Estelle could have treated her better, but she didn't, and she convinced herself it was because she was making the spirit into a soldier. Saving the world didn't excuse her actions. "Doesn't make anything less evil. I could have done some things differently, yet I didn't."

"I told him to jump off a building," Katsuki abruptly refuted, his eyes unable to part from the roof as he lingered with bated breath.

Estelle couldn't feel a sliver of negative emotion as she observed the nerves within Katsuki's features. Of course, it was never a great thing to say to another human, but the guilt she witnessed was enough for her to recognise that he regretted his actions. She had yet to even find out what would cause such a reaction from the boy that he felt the need to say that to Izuku, so she waited for him to continue.

Unable to bear the prolonged stillness, Katsuki managed to drag his eyes to meet hers, shining with unease before freezing at the gentle look thrown his way. Taking a second to defeat the hitch in his breath, he knew she was waiting for him to explain. But, the fact that she was examining him with unconditional acceptance made his chest tighten uncomfortably, his eyes falling into hers as he opened his mouth.

"I told you how people treated me because of my quirk, and I thought I was strong because of it. Yet, whenever I saw Deku, it never made sense to me. How could a quirkless reject be ahead of me in any way? It pissed me off. So, I retaliated. I tried to tear him down and keep him at arm's length because he was supposed to be weak, and I was supposed to be strong. I realise now that it skewed my vision, and I couldn't see my own weaknesses."

Estelle ruminated on his words, her lips pursing in hidden distaste at the world she resided in. She could understand it. If she had been told from birth that those with quirks were strong, yet someone with no power had all the traits of strength, that worldview would be hard to crush. Yet, he had been forced to recognise it when Izuku was given a quirk and repeatedly proved himself a worthy opponent.

Noting how Katsuki was getting angsty in the quietness, Estelle lifted a hand to his hair, her fingers tracing patterns in his scalp in silent reassurance; it was evident by the slump in his shoulders that he was slightly relieved by her reaction, and Estelle had to wonder what the hell he thought when she had literally taken human lives before.

Maybe the truth of her actions hadn't hit him? It didn't make sense to Estelle that he would worry about revealing his past with Izuku. The thought made her want to frown, an aversion brewing within her that maybe he didn't fully understand the magnitude of bloodshed she was encased in. Regardless, this wasn't about her right now. So shaking the thought away, Estelle mumbled, "Is that why you're helping him so much?"

Katsuki nodded, his lips tightening into a line as Estelle unabashedly soothed his troubled thoughts. Leaning towards her for more solace, the blonde froze when he heard her words. "The guilt never goes away, you know?"

Gulping through his tight throat, Katsuki gave a slow nod in understanding.

Leaning forward to ensure he was looking right at her, Estelle gave a benign smile that buffered his aching soul. "But, it will ease in time. Izuku isn't the type to hold a grudge, so it's not his forgiveness that you need to seek. It's forgiveness within yourself. If helping him will do that, then so be it."

Katsuki chuffed, his mind internally wondering why the female could never take her advice sometimes. The damn female always had a blindfold when it came to matters of her own affairs, yet as soon as someone else had a problem, it was like she had a twenty-twenty vision. It was irksome, but he probably needed to hear it regardless.

"Never thought I'd feel anything for shitty Deku," Katsuki gruffed, his voice hoarse as he struggled to speak through the taughtened throat.

Letting out a slight laugh, Estelle shook her head fondly, her eyes observing his handsome features as she continued. "I meant what I said. Nothing can change the opinion I have of you. You could have murdered all the fish on the planet, and I would still-"

"...Still, what?"

Forcing herself to overcome the stop to her breathing, Estelle amended what her thoughts never could. "Think highly of you. Got it?"

Letting it slide in favour of pulling himself together, Katsuki shuffled on the covers, his arms wrapping around Estelle securely as he pulled her into his hold. Grabbing her head and forcefully pushing her temple by his neck, the male tensed when Estelle attempted to lean back and look at him.

Feeling his arms tighten around her, Estelle could feel the slight shudder of air by her ear. Her body swiftly reacted, turning slack within his hold. Estelle allowed Katsuki to grip her frame for dear life as he dealt with his flaring emotions.

Estelle couldn't tell what exactly had caused it, if it was the guilt of his actions with Izuku or if her words were the reason for his trembling frame. Nevertheless, it didn't matter much, especially as the longer he held onto her, the looser he became. Eventually, there was enough room for Estelle to curl her arms around his back, her fingers outlining patterns on his muscles as his breath began to ease.

Peeking upwards as time passed, Estelle felt her heart constrict at the sleeping expression that greeted her. Frowning a little at how tense he was despite his snooze, Estelle forgave herself as she pulled him into her embrace, her leg hooking around his as her hand drifted back up to his hair.

Katsuki leaned into the affection with respite, the crinkles on his forehead fading as a sigh of relief left his chest. The female felt her lips raise as a tiny whistle slipped past his lips, finding the action endearing as he gave way to his dreams. Observing him, her smile slowly drifted as she was again reminded of Shoto's words.

The odd thing was that despite her fears, she couldn't find anything within herself willing to depart from the blonde as he spoke his truth. Estelle feared he only succeeded in making things much more complicated for her. All she could sense was a deep and profound urge to see him happy, his sadistic smile on his face as he threatened everyone around him.

God, Shoto really was right. Estelle did want to be there for him, especially in these moments.

She was utterly screwed.