Chapter Seventeen

EPOV

Waking up with Jasper in my arms just felt right.

I couldn't explain it, but it felt as if we were always meant to fit together like this, my arms wrapped around his waist, and his back pressed against my chest. Weirdly, it wasn't as if we hadn't fallen asleep cuddling before, but those times had always come about because of the need to ward off pain, to ease hurt. And inevitably, once the morning light came, we would always pull away, acting as if it was perfectly ordinary to have been spooning your best friend through the night, never addressing the lingering feelings.

Not anymore. Now, I was free to enjoy this moment without restriction. I could nuzzle my face into his neck, and listen to the gentle sounds of his breathing as he slept peacefully. I could press soft kisses to his bare shoulders, tasting his golden skin as it shone in the soft morning light. I could pull him flush against me, overjoyed at the way his body fit like a puzzle piece into mine.

I groaned softly at the feeling of my morning wood pressed against his ass, my mind still clouded from sleep. I felt Jasper begin to stir slightly, and I pushed my hips into his, the movement sending sparks through me even through the double layer of our jeans. I felt Jasper's breath freeze in his chest as his body tensed, and I woke up enough to realize my mistake a moment too late.

"Get the fuck off me!" Jasper's voice was mumbled in his half-awake state, but the panic was all too clear.

He ripped himself from my arms, launching himself across the bed away from me. Before I could call out to him, he tumbled over the edge of the bed, and there was a loud crash as he connected with the side table.

"Ow, fuck!"

I heard his grunt of pain and threw myself across the bed to look over at where he was hunched over on the floor, clutching his head. I quickly knelt down beside him, slightly wary to touch him in case I made things worse.

"Jasper, love, I'm so sorry, are you okay?" My hands hovered over him, unsure of what to do.

"Fucking hit my head..." he groaned through his teeth, "Just gimme a minute, I'll be fine." His hand was pressed against the side of his head where it had obviously connected with the corner of the side table in his haste to get away.

From me. Shit.

"Here, let me see," I asked gently, lightly grabbing his arm.

As he pulled his hand away and looked at me, my eyes widened and my face paled at the sight of blood beginning to trickle down from his hairline.

"Dad!" I bellowed for my father, hoping that he was still home this morning.

I hooked my hand under Jasper's arm and pulled him up from the floor, making sure he was okay to stand.

"Ed, I'm fine, it's okay," he tried to brush me off, ignoring my urgency.

"Jazz, you're bleeding," I looked at his face, knowing that my own must be painted with guilt. "Dad, Mom!" I called again through the house.

"Oh," Jasper said quietly, his face looking slightly paler by the moment, as he sank down to sit on the edge of the bed, his fingers brushing the trail of blood on his temple.

I heard footsteps on the stairs and rushed out to hurry them as my parents rounded the top of the stairs and came towards my bedroom door.

"Jasper hit his head, he's bleeding," my voice was a rush of panic, and my mother furrowed her brow in concern.

Both of my parents came to where Jasper sat on the bed, my father kneeling in front of him.

"Esme, can you get the tube of Dermabond from the medicine cabinet, and a pair of gloves," my father said over his shoulder as my mother nodded and rushed back down the stairs. "Jasper, how'd this happen?" He stood to inspect the wound carefully through Jasper's hair.

"He fell off the bed and hit the side table," I mumbled, my voice filled with so much guilt I thought I might actually choke on it.

Dad shook his head, "I'm going to have to get you a frequent fliers card, Jasper. Edward, can you grab me a roll of toilet paper from the bathroom," he asked, turning to me.

I did as I was asked, as Jasper sat silently on the bed, pain showing on his face, though it was clear he was trying to play it off.

"Trust me, I don't seek out medical emergencies, they just seem to find me," Jasper laughed, his jaw clenching slightly as Dad pressed a wad of tissue onto the wound.

"You could've fooled me, son," Dad chuckled lightly, as Mom came back into the room, a pair of surgical gloves and a pen-like purple tube. "This might sting a bit, but it'll be better than having to get stitches."

Jasper nodded slightly, wincing as the tissue was taken off his head as most of the blood was soaked up. Dad snapped on his gloves and got to work, his professionalism evident despite his banter. He made quick work of sealing the small gash closed, as I watched from a distance, sure that Jasper wouldn't want me near him after what I'd done.

"There we go," Dad inspected the now-glued wound one final time before taking off his gloves, "You should be fine, it's only a very small cut, just let me know if you start to feel sick or dizzy. I doubt you'll have a concussion, but you might wind up with a headache. You should take it easy today."

Jasper nodded, "Thank you, Carlisle."

"Don't mention it," Dad smiled, patting him on the shoulder, before turning to walk out of the room. "Keep an eye on him, Edward."

"I will," I said, watching them descend down the stairs again.

I moved to close the door to my room so we could have some privacy, open-door policy be damned, before sheepishly turning to face Jasper.

"Baby, I'm so sorry." I knelt down in front of him, resting my hands on his knees.

He smiled and lifted his hand to cup my cheek, "Why are you sorry? I'm the dickhead who fell out of bed."

My face twisted with shame, "Yeah, but I caused it. I scared you."

A look of recognition came over Jasper's face as he recalled what had caused him to flinch away from me in the first place. "Oh, right," he sighed. "Don't worry about that, I'm going to have to get used to things like that now."

I frowned, "No, you shouldn't have to, I should know better, I wasn't thinking." My grip tightened on his knees, silently begging for his forgiveness.

"Ed," he sighed again, rubbing a circle on my cheek with his thumb. "Please don't start treating me with kid gloves. You know I hate that shit."

There was a look of indignation in his eyes as he looked down at me. "You're right, I'm sorry," I bent to rest my forehead on his knees. "I just feel awful you got hurt."

"Darlin'," he chuckled, threading his fingers through the hair on the nape of my neck. "You know how damn accident-prone I am, you're going to have to make your peace with that."

I smiled reluctantly and moved to sit next to him on the bed, wrapping an arm around his waist. "I'm still sorry. You're going to have a scar because of me."

Jasper turned to face me, his fingers brushing along the edge of my forehead, mirroring the spot where his injury was. "Technically you already have a scar because of me, at least mine is only tiny," he said with a sad smile, his fingers tracing the scar from my car accident that had begun to fade.

"That wasn't your fault."

"Neither was this. Accidents happen." Jasper bent forward to press his lips against mine, his hand resting on my neck.

I sighed and accepted his words, albeit reluctantly. "You should probably lie back down, do you want me to get you anything from downstairs?"

"Some Tylenol maybe, my head is kind of aching." Jasper moved further up the bed to lay back down, careful of his injury.

I nodded and left to retrieve some Tylenol from the downstairs bathroom, and a glass of water. I ran back up the stairs to my room and handed the pills and water to Jasper, who swallowed them and rested back against the pillow. I moved back to my side of the bed and sat beside him, my hand gently stroking his hair as he closed his eyes and relaxed next to me.

It didn't take long at all for Jasper's breathing to even out, and once I was sure he was asleep I carefully leaned down to place a kiss on his cheek before getting out of bed and making my way downstairs, throwing on a hoodie. I wanted to talk to my dad and make sure I knew what signs to watch out for so that my worry-wart mind could stress slightly less.

As I rounded the door into the kitchen I heard the hushed whispers of my parents suddenly stop, as they turned to look at me, looks of concern on both of their faces.

"Jasper went back to sleep, I gave him some Tylenol," I said, opening the fridge to pour myself a glass of orange juice.

"That's good, sweetie." My mom was sitting at the kitchen island, her hands her hands wringing together as if she was nervous.

I looked at my dad where he stood, his hands gripping the island bench. "What's wrong?" I questioned, moving around to sit across from them.

Neither of them spoke for a minute, as if deciding whether to continue whatever it was they had been whispering about before I came into the room.

"Nothing, we just..." Dad started, trailing off, an unsure tone in his voice.

"We saw Jasper's scars," Mom finished, reaching over to place her hand on my arm. "We're concerned, is he safe, is everything okay at home?"

My brow furrowed in confusion for a moment at the implication that Jasper would be in danger at home with Emmett, before realizing that my parents hadn't ever seen Jasper shirtless as he had been this morning. They didn't know the reason why he moved here from Texas, only that he now lived with his brother.

"Oh," I said quietly, unsure of how much I should be revealing to my parents of Jasper's history. "Yeah, he's fine. Those scars are old, from when he was young."

My mom's grip tightened on my arm slightly, "Was he in an accident or something?"

"No," I bit my lip, the weight of Jasper's secret suddenly pressing down on me. "Look, you can't say anything, okay?"

My parents nodded in unison, concern filling their eyes. I felt an immense amount of guilt for talking about any of this, but I knew that I could trust my parents.

"Jasper's father was abusive. Like, really abusive. He's in jail for what he did to Jasper," My voice was quiet, and I couldn't meet their eyes. "That's the reason he moved here and lives with Emmett. His mom is nice, but he couldn't handle being in their house anymore."

Mom gasped and put a hand to her mouth in shock, "Oh my god. Edward, that's awful."

"Yeah, it is," I swallowed hard, the years of accumulated grief of seeing Jasper suffer the effects of his childhood suddenly hitting me. "He doesn't like to talk about it, but it's really hard on him. I worry about him a lot." My voice was only a whisper now, as I remembered so many instances, this morning included, where his trauma had taken over.

Dad moved around the bench to stand next to me, placing a hand on my shoulder, "Edward, you know you can always speak to us about things like this. You're so young, you shouldn't be handling things of this magnitude on your own."

"I didn't want to betray him," I said guiltily, my eyes fixed on the table below me.

"Son, you're not betraying anyone. I don't want you to tell me anything you're not comfortable sharing, but this is something that pertains to not only your safety but Jasper's. As far as we are concerned, he is part of this family, and that means we only want the best for him too." Dad wrapped an arm around my shoulders, giving me a comforting squeeze.

I wiped my eyes on my sleeves, feeling the prickling of tears in them, "It's hard sometimes, not knowing how to help him. He gets bad nightmares a lot, and panic attacks."

"Is he seeing anyone about it, Edward?" Mom's voice was full of ache at the thought of someone harming a child.

"Yeah, he sees a therapist, and he's on medication."

"That's good, it's important to get the right treatment for PTSD. Edward, if you ever want to speak to someone about any of this, I can make an appointment for you, too." Dad said softly, "It's important for you not to shoulder this all on your own. You can't help Jasper if you're not looking after yourself."

I thought for a moment, before nodding. "Yeah, maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea."

The weight on my shoulders already felt a tiny bit lighter, though I felt an equal amount of guilt for feeling as though my pain was in any way close to Jasper's.

"I'll set something up for you, I know a lot of good psychologists, it'll be completely confidential," Dad nodded, before leaning in to kiss the top of my head. "I'm so proud of you, son."

"We both are, sweetheart," Mom stood to wrap her arms around me. "You have such a big heart, I'm so proud of you for trying to help someone through something so awful."

"Please don't say anything though," I reiterated, "He'd hate knowing that you knew. I'm the only one that knows anything outside of his family."

"We won't, we just wanted to make sure everything was okay," Mom said, sitting back beside me. "I can't stand the thought of someone hurting a child like that, it makes me sick." She shook her head, a genuine look of antipathy on her face.

"At least his father got what he deserves, by the sounds of it," Dad sighed, shifting to take the seat next to Mom.

I leaned forward on my elbows on the bench in front of me, staring at my hands, "Yeah, I don't really know many details about that. Emmett mentioned to me once that their father was in prison because of it, but Jasper has never spoken about it. From what Emmett said, the court process was really rough."

Mom shook her head again, her eyes watery, "It is. I can't imagine having to go through it as a child."

Dad reached an arm around her waist in a comforting gesture, all of us feeling the weight of her unspoken pain. Before she had met my dad, Mom had been in an abusive marriage with a horrible man. She had eventually gotten help after he had hospitalized her during a particularly brutal attack. It was there she had met my dad, and he had put her in touch with domestic violence support groups, and had her ex-husband arrested. There had been a lengthy court battle, during which my dad had stood by her side every step of the way.

I reached out to take her hand, hating to see the pain in her face as she thought of that awful time in her life. She squeezed it back and gave me a small smile.

"It does get easier, over time. I hope Jasper knows that," Mom said softly.

"I hope so, too."

~bfoso~

I spent the rest of the day upstairs, sitting beside Jasper as he slept, the conversation with my parents rolling around in my head.

I looked over at his sleeping body, seeing properly for the first time in the daylight the scars that littered his torso. I could see why my parents had reacted the way they did, his scars were a visceral sight, etched as they were along his chest and back. Thick and thin old wounds scattered over his body in deep lines, and my heart ached to think that they were the result of someone's deliberate hand. Not just someone, but his own father. The man meant to protect him from harm.

I thought of my own father, a man who devoted his life to easing the pain of others, and who didn't have a violent bone in his body, and appreciated just how lucky I was to have the family I did. I couldn't fathom either of my parents ever lifting a hand to me or Alice, and the thought that Jasper had never had that same sanctuary broke my heart.

I knew just how deeply his past affected him, I could see it in his eyes at almost every moment, always a shadow creeping just in the distance, threatening to swallow him. I vowed never to let that happen, though part of me knew that unless he let me in, I would be powerless to stop it.

I had already witnessed the depths his depression could lead to when I went to his house that day to confront him, seeing his sunken lifeless eyes. I shuddered at the thought, glad that our reconciliation had been enough to pull him out of that pit, but I still feared it happening again, for a reason that I couldn't control. Would I be enough to keep him from sinking completely?

"What are you thinking about?"

Jasper's voice startled me from my thoughts as I looked over into his sleepy eyes, forcing a smile onto my face. "Nothing, my love. How are you feeling?" I brushed a lock of his blonde hair behind his ear, mindful of the cut on his head.

"I'm fine, just a bit of a headache like your dad said," He stretched out, yawning. "But you had your serious face on, how come?"

"My serious face?" I raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, the look you get when you're trying to figure something out. Your serious face."

"I wasn't aware I had a specific face for thinking,"

"Well, you do. So spill," he teased, resting a hand on my thigh.

I sighed and looked down at my hands, not wanting to upset him, but also wanting to be truthful. "Mom and Dad asked me about your scars earlier," I said in a small voice.

"Oh," Jasper tensed slightly. "What did you tell them?"

"I didn't want to lie, they just wanted to make sure you were okay," I trailed off, avoiding the actual question.

"So what did you say?"

There was a hint of a hard edge to Jasper's voice, and I turned to look at him, my eyes willing him to understand. "I didn't tell them any details, only that your father was abusive when you were young."

Jasper was quiet for a moment, appearing to mull over this information, before sighing. "I wish you hadn't, but I also don't expect you to lie to your parents for me."

"I'm sorry, I just thought... maybe if they knew, they could help," I took his hand from where it was lying on my thigh, playing with his fingers.

"I don't need help, Edward." His voice was stern as he pulled his hand away from mine and sat up next to me in the bed. "If I want help, I'll ask."

I sighed and pulled him closer, not willing to let him shut me out. "Will you though, love? That's why I get scared sometimes because you tend to push everyone away when you're struggling." I rested my forehead against his shoulder, silently begging him to listen.

I heard him take a deep breath, and he was quiet for a long moment. "I know," he said softly, "I'm sorry. I'm trying to work on not doing that. I just don't want to burden anyone else with my shit."

He turned to wrap his arms around my waist in a reciprocating gesture, and I rubbed soothing patterns over his back.

"You're not a burden, Jasper. Not now, not ever." I whispered, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you," he whispered back, a sad smile on his face. "You do so much for me. I'll never understand why."

"Because, you put up with my annoying ass, and that's worth its weight in gold," I smirked, attempting to lighten the mood.

Jasper chuckled and pushed me away playfully, "You are an ass, but you're cute, so you get away with it."

"Aw, you think I'm cute?" I grabbed him and pulled him to me, rolling us down to lay on the bed.

"The last thing you need is for me to inflate your ego, Cullen," Jasper rolled his eyes, smirking at me.

I stuck my lower lip out in an exaggerated pout, only for him to take my lip between his teeth, making me groan. "We're going to be right back in the same situation as this morning if you keep that up," I mumbled against his lips, my hands on his waist.

"That's fine, I'm awake this time, I handle you," he laughed, kissing me harder.

We stayed wrapped up in each other for a long while, enjoying being with each other in this way, neither of us expecting anything from the other. Being with him like this, laying on the bed, our hands tangled in each other's hair, felt so easy, like I was never meant to be doing anything else.

Sooner than I would've liked, we were interrupted by a soft knock on my bedroom door, the door moving slightly as whoever had knocked did their best not to open the door further.

"Come in," I said, grudgingly untangling myself from Jasper's embrace, and sat on the end of my bed.

Jasper quickly pulled on his shirt from the previous night, as my mom peaked her head around the door. "Are we decent?" She said, a hand raised to block her view into the room.

"No Mom, we're naked, that's why I said come in," I said dryly as she dropped her hand and scowled at me.

"Nobody likes a smart ass, Edward," she replied, her hands on her hips. "I came to ask if you could do me a favor, but now I've decided you have no choice," she smirked at me as I groaned and flopped backward onto the bed.

"You're such a drama queen," Jasper chuckled beside me.

"Your father and I are going out to Port Angeles tonight for dinner with some friends, can you please drop Alice off at her friend's place shortly? She's going to stay the night there, so you boys will have a few hours to amuse yourselves." Mom grinned slyly, and I saw Jasper blush slightly at the implication.

I sat up on the bed, making a show of sighing heavily, "Fiiine, I guess I can manage that, if I must..."

"Thank you, honey," Mom said over her shoulder, laughing as she walked out of the room.

I flopped back on the bed and looked up to see Jasper shaking his head, snickering.

I reached out and poked his side, "And what are you laughing at?"

"You're lucky you didn't grow up with my Abuela, you'd get a whoopin' for backchat like that," he laughed and poked me back.

"A whoopin'? Well bless my heart, ain't I just the luckiest girl in town!" I sat up and put my hand on my chest dramatically, doing my best impersonation of his Southern accent.

"You're an ass," Jasper shook his head and stood up from the bed, laughing as he held his hand out to me. "C'mon, let's go get Alice sorted."

"Why, are you eager to get me alone?" I said teasingly as I took his hand and stood up to follow him.

A blush crept over his cheeks as we walked down the stairs together, hand in hand, and I couldn't help but feel an excited rush at the thought of getting him alone.

A/N: Two chapters in as many days, who am I!?

For real though, I'm really enjoying writing these boys again, and I have big plans for them. If anyone has indeed stuck with me after all this time, I'd love for you to drop a review telling me what you think, or even just saying Hi so I know I'm not just shouting into the void lmao