EPOV

I tapped my phone screen for about the 40th time in the last ten minutes, checking to see if I had somehow missed a notification. The screen was still blank, just as it had been the other 39 times.

I was sitting in the cafeteria staring at the entrance from the main hall, waiting for Jasper to appear through the double doors. It was ridiculous really, he was only slightly late and there was an infinite number of perfectly mundane things that could've held him up. Still, I couldn't help bouncing my leg nervously under the table as I checked my phone again. The sounds of laughter carried through the room as Mike Newton and a couple of his cronies entered, distracting me momentarily.

It'd only been fifteen minutes since lunch started, but having to separate from Jasper for the last class had set my nerves on edge. I knew that logically Jasper was a big boy and was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, but it made my heart ache to be apart from him even for such a short amount of time, and adding in the fact that I knew he was already distressed today, not being able to be with him had me on tenterhooks.

I was just picking up my phone to message him again, when Bella Swan rushed into the cafeteria, her eyes scanning the room. I knew that she and Jasper had just had gym together, so I left the table I was sitting at intending to ask her if she had seen where he'd gotten to. Bella's eyes met mine from across the room and she rushed towards me, meeting me halfway.

"Edward, quick, come with me," Bella grabbed the sleeve of my shirt and pulled me back towards the door.

"Bella, what's-"

"Not here," she cut me off with a hard look and pulled me faster out of the busy room.

Once we were in the hallway Bella let go of my arm but didn't slow her frantic pace until we were away from any lingering groups of students. Once she had found a sufficiently secluded space, she turned to me, a look in her eyes that I couldn't read.

"Bells, what the fuck is going on?" I questioned her uncharacteristic behavior.

"It's Jasper, I don't know what happened, but I don't think he's okay,"

My stomach dropped at her words as a million possibilities flashed through my head, "Where is he? Is he hurt?" I started down the hallway, walking urgently to where I didn't know.

Bella jogged to catch up to me, my strides longer than hers, "I don't know where he went, he bolted. I was going to follow him but I thought it'd be better to get you first."

"Bolted where?" It took everything in me not to start sprinting down the hall, but I needed to know where he had gone before I could start looking.

"He ran out the back fire doors near the gym,"

"He ran outside?" I turned to Bella stopping abruptly, grabbing her arm to balance her as she nearly toppled over at the sudden change of pace.

Bella nodded and I hoped like hell Jasper had been in enough of a right mind to go to my car if he'd left the building. I took off towards the parking lot at a jog, hoping that no teachers would hold me up for running in the halls, Bella followed along behind me. Luckily we weren't far from a side entrance to the front of the school, and once I was out the door I ran across the parking lot, hoping that my guess had been right. My heart dropped when I saw that the front seats were empty, my mind racing to think of where else he could've gone.

"The backseat," Bella called out, running up behind me.

I looked in through the back window and breathed a sigh of relief when I saw a mess of blonde curls. My relief was short-lived however when I got closer and saw how he was hunched over, practically curled into a ball as low as he could get, his whole frame shaking violently. Just as I reached for the door handle I heard the sound of a muffled scream, the sound stopping me dead in my tracks. I had never heard such a pained sound before and it made my blood run cold. I heard Bella gasp behind me as she heard it too, her face lined with fear at what terrible thing could possibly be happening inside that car.

I forced myself forward, my hand reaching out for the door handle as I watched Jasper scream from the other side of the glass. The door was locked and I swore out loud, of course he would lock himself away if he was this scared. I called out his name, knocking on the glass to try to get his attention. This was the wrong thing to do, as the noise seemed to make him shake harder as he bent over and forced himself down lower.

"Get away! Leave me alone!"

I could feel the tears welling up in my eyes as I listened to his pained cries, him begging desperately for me to leave. I was torn because there was no way in hell I would leave him like this, but I also didn't want to make things worse.

"Should we call someone? An ambulance?" Bella asked with a shaky voice.

"No, that will definitely make things worse," I knew enough to know that the last thing Jasper needed right now was strangers prodding at him. "I just need to get in there."

I called out his name again, pleading with him to hear me and unlock the door so I could help. After several minutes, I was just about to start searching around for something to break the window when Jasper finally lifted his head, looking at me with eyes so full of terror that my breath caught in my throat. What the hell had happened?

"Jasper, please!" I yelled again, pressing my palms against the glass, my tears well and truly falling down my face now.

It took a long moment, but he lifted a trembling hand towards the door and I held my breath, waiting with my fingers gripping the handle. The second he had flipped the lock I swung the door open and got a proper look at him huddled half in the footwell of the backseat, shaking and sobbing. I hesitated, unsure if he would want me close to him right now before I couldn't take it any longer.

I climbed into the car and reached my hand out towards him slowly, "Jasper, my love, It's me, It's Edward. I'm not going to hurt you, you're safe now, I promise."

Jasper's eyes widened in fear as I came near him and he shrunk back as far as possible, his arms coming up to cover his head as he cried out, "Not safe... Not safe."

My heart shattered as I watched him, his body trembling violently and his breath coming fast, the air wheezing between his sobs. I turned back to Bella who was standing behind me in the open doorway looking terrified.

"Bella, can you make sure no one comes over here?" I knew that the fewer witnesses the better, and Bella nodded in understanding and quickly walked off across the parking lot.

I reached over and pulled the door closed now that the two of us were alone. I stretched a hand out to rest on Jasper's arms where they were covering his head, but he seemed to cower even more at my touch. Pulling back and running my hands through my hair, I tried to think of what was the best course of action here. I knew that most panic attacks would eventually subside over time, but I couldn't just allow myself to sit here and do nothing. Jasper's breathing was also concerning me with the rate he was hyperventilating, I was truly worried he was going to pass out.

"Jasper, love, can you hear me?" I spoke softly to him, hoping beyond reason that I could somehow calm him. "I'm here, you're safe now."

"No! No, no, no..." he cried out, his voice strained and frantic, his hands fisting in his hair.

"You're safe, I promise you, I won't let anything hurt you," I was practically sobbing now as his pain tore through me, and my hopelessness grew.

I squeezed my eyes shut, took a breath, and tried to wrack my brain for what to do. Normally I would hold him until he calmed down, but every time I reached out towards him he would cry out and pull away as if I was going to harm him. I swallowed hard and slid out of the car, forcing myself to move away from him for a moment. I wiped my face roughly on my sleeve and pulled my phone out of my pocket as I leaned against the car. I scrolled through my contacts, trying to ignore how badly my hands were shaking, and selected Emmett's number, putting the phone to my ear.

I closed my eyes and prayed he would pick up as I listened to the dial tone. I nearly threw my phone down in frustration when I heard the start of his voicemail, before hanging up and moving to plan B. I dialed Rosalie's number, hoping that she would be able to answer even though she'd likely also be at school. When her number rang out too a sob escaped my lips and I bent over, bracing my hands on my knees, feeling truly and completely helpless.

Just as I was about to open my phone again to call my dad in a last-ditch attempt for help, I saw Rosalie's number flash across the screen, a text message popping up next to her name.

What's up? can't talk, in class rn

I forced myself to get a grip as my shaking fingers replied to her message as quickly as possible.

Jasper in trouble, need help

I turned to look over my shoulder through the window at where Jasper was still huddled in the seat, I had hoped that by moving away from him he would calm slightly, but it didn't seem to be the case. My phone began vibrating in my hand, breaking my gaze away from the crying boy in front of me. I looked down to see that Rosalie was calling me and I answered it immediately, breathing a small sigh of relief.

"What's going on?" Rosalie's voice was full of worry as she spoke quietly, obviously having stepped out of her class.

"I don't know what happened," I cleared my throat to stop sounding so choked up, "I've never seen him this bad Rose, he won't let me near him."

Rosalie was silent for a moment on the other end of the phone and I felt a pang for the hopelessness she must feel being so far away. Not that I was helping at all and I was right here.

"Let me talk to him, put me on speaker" she finally said, her voice sounding determined.

I opened the door of the car and got back in, sitting beside Jasper as closely as I could without him flinching away. I put her phone on speaker and held it out next to where he was cowered, his head still covered by his arms.

"Jazzy?" Rosalie called out through the phone, "Jazzy, can you hear me?"

I held my breath and hoped that Jasper's sister would be able to comfort him better than I could. After a moment's hesitation, Jasper lifted his head slightly, his arms still shielding himself.

"Rosie...?" there was so much pain contained in just that one word when he spoke, the sound of his wheezing breaths almost drowning out his voice.

"I'm here, Jazzy. Everything is okay now. I'm here."

"I- need, I can't-" Jasper struggled to speak through the rapid gasps of breath that he was barely managing to take in.

"Shh, it's okay, nothing is going to hurt you Jazzy, you just need to breathe." Rosalie's voice was steady as she spoke, though I could hear the concern in her tone.

"I can't!" Jasper cried out, lifting his head to yell in the direction of his sister's voice.

"If you can talk to me, you can breathe. Just focus on your breaths and nothing else."

Tears rolled down my face as I sat there feeling like the most useless piece of shit on the planet, watching the person I loved struggle so severely and not being able to do a damned thing. Jasper continued to gasp out parts of sentences, nothing he was saying really made any sense, though I could tell his breathing was at least starting to slow slightly. The more Rosalie spoke to him, the more his panic seemed to ease in the tiniest of increments, though his sobbing continued.

After several minutes of Rosalie instructing Jasper to slow down his breathing, he raised his eyes and looked over to me, as if only now seeing that I was here. "Edward..?" he whispered, confusion replacing the terror in his eyes.

"I'm here," I inched closer to him, gingerly placing my hand on his back, watching for a reaction, "I'm right here."

When he didn't flinch away I began rubbing circles on his back, watching as his breaths finally became deeper, a sense of desperate relief washing over me. As his panic slowly subsided, I could see an overwhelming sense of grief wash over him, his frightened sobs turning to pure sorrow. He sat up and leaned his head against the cool glass of the window, the raindrops reflecting on his tear-stained face.

"Rose, I'm going to take him home, I think we're through the worst of it,"

"Okay, call me if you need me please, I'll make sure I can answer." Rosalie sounded relieved at my words, though she was clearly still worried.

"I will, thank you. I'll keep you updated." We said our goodbyes and ended the call.

I looked over to Jasper who was now more quietly crying against the car window. "Jasper, baby, are you okay?"

He turned to look at me, slowly shaking his head no, and turning back to stare out the window. The empty look in his eyes was one I'd never seen before and it scared me to my core.

"I'm going to take you home, okay?" I gently reached my hand up to brush along his cheek and he flinched slightly before closing his eyes.

I bit my lip and forced myself not to start crying again as picked up Jasper's bag from the floor of the car to find my keys. Once I had them, I slipped out of the car and got back in the driver's seat, turning on the ignition and the heater to warm the frigid air. For a moment I let my head rest against the steering wheel, the stress of the morning threatening to overwhelm me, before I took a deep breath and reminded myself that I needed to keep it together for Jasper. He needed me now right now and that was all that mattered.

I pulled out of the school parking lot and headed toward Jasper's suburb, glancing in the review mirror repeatedly as if to check he was still there. He had gone silent now, his sobs being replaced by silent tears that dripped down his cheeks. What could have happened in the short amount of time he was away from me? Had someone hurt him? My hands gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white at the thought of anyone harming my sweet boy. I needed to get to the bottom of this, but I didn't want to cause him to have another attack. In the four years I have known Jasper, I've seen him have more panic attacks than I care to count, a thought that worries me in of itself, but this was by far the worst. I've never seen that level of terror in his eyes, not even when he's just come out of a nightmare.

Before long I pulled into Jasper's driveway. stopping the car and turning in my seat to face him. He didn't even react to the fact that we had stopped, and I felt a chill go through me at how desolate he looked, his blank eyes staring out the window. I steeled myself to focus on the task at hand and got out of the car to walk around to the door Jasper was leaning on. I slowly opened the door, giving him time to move away, which he did, barely, and I had to grip his arms to stop him from falling out of the car.

"Let's get you inside, baby," I said, though I doubt he even heard me, the expression on his face was completely vacant.

I pulled him from the car, making sure that he didn't collapse under his own weight as I led him up the porch and to the front door, my arm wrapped around his waist. After unlocking the door with the hidden spare key, I brought Jasper inside and led him to the living room, figuring that the stairs were probably a bit too ambitious right now. I sat him down on the sofa and he immediately pulled his legs up to his chest, his arms wrapping around them as he rested his head on his knees. I looked at him for a moment, unsure what to do next before I decided to at least try to make him comfortable as he rode out the aftermath of his panic.

I ran up the stairs taking them two at a time and opened the linen closet at the top, pulling out a worn quilted blanket that I knew Jasper's mom had made and tucked it under my arm, as well as a clean washcloth. Coming back down into the kitchen I searched in the cabinets to find a water bottle to fill with cold water and wet the washcloth before heading back to the living room. Jasper hadn't moved at all while I'd been gone, and I set the things I'd grabbed down on the coffee table, unfurling the blanket and draping it over one end of the sofa.

I sat down next to him, making sure not to move too quickly, "Jasper, my love?"

He sat still, his head still resting on his knees, "Jazz, I'm going to take off your shoes."

I knelt in front of him and untied the laces of his worn-out Chucks, gently slipping them off and placing them on the floor by the sofa. He still hadn't reacted, so I took it as a sign that at least hopefully wasn't making things worse. I grabbed the damp wash cloth and sat next to him again and tried to get him to raise his head. It took me asking a few times, but eventually, he lifted his head, his eyes still unfocused as he stared forward. I brushed the cloth across his cheeks, wiping away the traces of his now-dried tears, trying not to let the bleak look on his defeated face make me cry.

After I was done cleaning his face, I gently laid the blanket around his shoulders, seeing a fraction of the tension leave his body as the familiar scent of the old quilt wrapped around him. Jasper had told me years ago that his mother had made this quilt for him when he left Texas so that she could help keep him warm up north. I knew that it brought him a huge amount of comfort when he was upset, and I hoped it could do so now.

Jasper still hadn't said a word or so much as looked at me since getting him home, and though I knew it was normal for him to be out of it after a panic attack, his silence now was worrying me, since I still didn't know what had caused this in the first place. I sat next to him on the couch and slowly brushed a golden curl behind his ear. Without meeting my eyes, Jasper gingerly moved to lean against my side, his head resting on my shoulder. I unconsciously held my breath as he moved, not wanting to scare him away in his fragile state. Once he had settled I carefully wrapped my arms around him, the quilt separating our skin from touching, and held him to me. I could feel the emotions I'd been holding back rising in my throat and I swallowed hard, not wanting to ruin Jasper's moment of peace after such a long ordeal.

I couldn't tell if we had been sitting like that for five minutes or five hours when Jasper finally spoke. Time had ceased to be perceptible inside that quiet room, the gloomy dull light from the windows barely changed as the sun continued to stay hidden behind the storm shadowing us.

"Edward?"

His voice was barely above a whisper, and I could hear the croak of his raw throat. I pressed my lips against the top of his head and squeezed my arms just barely, reassuring him that I was there.

"I've got you, my love."

"Edward, I..." Jasper paused for a long moment, seemingly trying to find the words he needed, "I couldn't... and they... he-" he closed his eyes tightly and shook his head. "Thank you," he finished.

"You don't have to thank me, love. I'm here for you, I'm always going to be here," I shifted slightly to be able to see his face better. "Do you want to tell me what happened?"

Jasper's brow furrowed further, his eyes still closed as he chewed on his lip. "Nothing," he murmured quietly.

"Jazz, please don't do that." I sighed and ran my thumb over his cheek, "You don't have to talk right now if you don't want to, but that wasn't nothing. You scared the shit out of me."

He opened his weary blue eyes and looked up at me, "I'm sorry."

"How many times-" I cut myself off from scolding him for apologizing, and instead wrapped my arms tighter around his shoulders. "I'm sorry, I was just really worried about you." I cupped his cheek with my hand, "I've never seen you like that before, never that bad."

Jasper dropped his eyes from mine, staring down at the quilt between us, a defeated look on his face.

"You said 'they' before, did someone do something to you?" I asked softly, trying to keep any anger from leaking into my voice.

Jasper fidgeted with a loose thread on the quilt, "No," he whispered, his voice sounding uncertain in a way that told me he wasn't being truthful.

"Jazz, baby, please don't lie to me. If someone hurt you, I need to know."

He scrunched his face up and ran a hand through his hair in agitation, "They didn't hurt me."

"Who is 'they', baby?" Knowing that someone had done something to him made my stomach turn.

Jasper was quiet for a moment, contemplating his answer, "It was Mike, Ben, and Tyler. They were just fucking with me, it's not a big deal," he murmured.

My jaw clenched at finally hearing the names of the assholes responsible for putting Jasper through this hell. My mind went back to the sounds of them laughing and hollering as they came into the cafeteria while I was waiting for Jasper. Had they been laughing about whatever they'd done, while Jasper was having the worst panic attack of his life? I took a deep breath to quell the rage burning in my chest.

"What did they do?" my voice shook slightly as I attempted to keep calm.

Jasper just shook his head in response, and I shifted on the sofa out from under him so I could look at him head-on.

"Jasper, if they so much as laid a hand on you, I will end them."

He huffed out a laugh, "Ed, getting yourself beaten up by three football players isn't going to help anything."

I opened my mouth to argue but realized he was right. I may be angry, but I'd never even been in a fight in my life, let alone three-on-one. I stood up and ran my hands through my hair in irritation, pacing back and forth in front of the sofa.

"We can still do something. What did they do to you?"

Shame clouded Jasper's face as he picked at the quilt, not meeting my eyes. "I don't want to talk about it."

I sighed and knelt in front of him, taking his face in my hands. "I'm not going to force you to tell me, but Jasper, if they did something to you, you need to tell someone."

"I'll tell you, but only if you don't make a big thing of it. I'm too tired for that right now."

I nodded and rested my hands on his lap, lacing my fingers through his.

"They were fucking me with all through gym, tripping me and shit like that. I was just trying to ignore them because it wasn't worth making a scene over." Jasper sighed and played with my fingers as he spoke, his eyes staring down at our hands. "After class when I'd gone to change they cornered me in the locker room. I figured they were just looking for a fight, so I didn't want to rise to it. But then Tyler got in my face and they dragged me into one of the stalls and held me up against the wall." I squeezed his hand to encourage him to continue, glad that he wasn't looking at my face to see the anger in my eyes. "Pretty sure Tyler is either gay or just a psychopath who gets off torturing people." Jasper trailed off.

"What did he do to you?"

"Nothing really," Jasper said shaking his head, "He just had a fucking hard-on and shoved me into the wall, and I freaked out after they left, that's all."

I took a deep breath and gave myself a moment to calm down before speaking, "Jazz, that's sexual assault."

I heard a sharp intake of breath from Jasper as he pushed my hands away and leaned back on the sofa, "No it isn't," he said, his voice hard.

"Jazz," I moved to sit next to him, "It is. He assaulted you." I said quietly.

"No, he didn't. Shut the fuck up, you don't know what you're talking about," Jasper was on his feet and across the room before his words sunk in.

I stood to follow him out of the room, I didn't know where he was going, but it didn't really seem like he did either. He paced across the kitchen, his hand running over his face and through his hair in a manic way.

"Jasper,"

"Shut up. Just shut up," his voice raised and it sounded like he was on the verge of panic again.

I walked over to him, wrapping my arms around his waist and pulling him to me. He tried to pull away for a second before his shoulders slumped and he leaned against me, his face looking defeated. I kissed a line along his jaw and up his cheek, realizing that words would only make this situation worse.

"I'm so tired," he whispered, his eyes drooping as his remaining energy seemed to drain out of him.

"Let's go upstairs and lie down."

He nodded deftly and took my hand as I led him upstairs to his room. He slumped down onto the edge of the bed and I kicked off my shoes and laid down next to him, opening my arms in a silent invitation. Jasper slid into my embrace, nuzzling his face against my shoulder as I wrapped my arms around him and pressed a kiss to the top of his head.

At least I could keep him safe in here, even if I couldn't anywhere else.

A/N: This one really hit me with the writer's block for some reason! Sorry that it doesn't advance the story much, but the next chapter will. I'd really look if you could drop a review to tell me if you're still following this mess, especially if you've been with me from the old days! x