Title: Sometimes We're Supposed To Lose
Genre: Drama
Warnings: None
Rating: K+
Written for Samantha, HP Slash Luv, for winning the Months of the Year Competition I ran.
Also written for the following challenges:
Ultimate Chocolate Frog Cards Challenge: Albert Boot - Write about someone who can't seem to do anything right
If You Dare: 7. Green With Envy
Challenge Your Versatility: Genre - Drama
Words: 2887

Sometimes We're Supposed to Lose

Rose stared out from the window of the Ravenclaw Tower Common Room and felt sick. She was gripping the window frame tightly, knuckles turning white, as she strained to watch the scene below. Scorpius and Albus had been sat alone on the low wall around an old unused outbuilding, laughing together. Rose had seen Lily walk up, with all the confidence of any fifteen year old who believed they were invincible. She'd sat herself next to Scorpius and was now laughing much too hard at something he'd said.

Rose let out a strangled moan of frustration before saying, "That bitch! I don't know how she has the nerve! Look at her, flirting like a prostitute. She's such a child!"

Rose's best friend, Amanda, looked up with a hint of a smile, as if she wanted to laugh but knew it wouldn't be appreciated. "What's she done now?" she asked, without any signs of interest in the answer.

"Him and Albus were just sat on the wall there, minding their own business, and then she walks in, demands their attention, sits next to Scorpius and flirts so outrageously I'm surprised they're not both in fits of laughter. Doesn't she know she looks like a complete arse?" Rose scoffed, face pulled into a scowl as she crossed her arms over her chest.

"No, probably not. Maybe you should tell her?" Amanda suggested with a shrug as she casually flicked through the pages of her Ancient Runes textbook as if it was a magazine.

"Oh, don't you worry, I will! You just wait until the next time I see her!"

Rose saw Lily the next morning at breakfast. Rose was running late, having struggled to get her hair just right, so she headed down to breakfast alone. Rose was walking past the Gryffindor table when she saw her, surrounded by all her friends. She was smiling softly, eating gently, looking, for all intents and purposes, like the perfect picture of femininity. Rose didn't tell her she'd looked like a complete arse. In fact, she even let out a tight smile when they locked eyes. She decided it was in her best interests to seethe only on the inside as she headed to the Ravenclaw table. In fact, she was so busy inwardly seething that she didn't even remember to look for Scorpius like she usually did.

She was halfway through her breakfast, listening to Amanda prattle on about Quidditch, when she realised Scorpius wasn't there. Scorpius always made it to breakfast, but apparently, not today.

"... the Cannons could do really well this season, but they've got nothing o-"

"Where's Scorpius?" Rose asked, cutting Amanda off with a louder voice.

"Were you listening to me?" Amanda asked. Rose at least had the decency to blush a little.

"I know you were talking about Quidditch? Sorry. I'm not with it yet. But you do have to admit it's weird for Scorpius to miss breakfast," Rose replied.

Amanda rolled her eyes in annoyance before settling into a slight frown. "It is, actually. Maybe talk to Albus?"

"I don't want to seem desperate. I'll see if he shows up to Herbology or not."

Scorpius didn't turn up for Herbology. This gave Rose a serious cause for alarm. Scorpius was, by nature, very risk averse, and missing classes wasn't a risk he usually took. Once they were set to task by the professor, Rose made it her mission to move around the large table to her cousin so she could question him.

She leaned forward and opened her mouth, but before she even got a word out, Albus cut her off.

"He's in the Hospital Wing. Do me a favour, will you, and pass the message on to Lily? Because answering the same questions twice every day is getting really, really boring."

Rose pulled her head back, taken aback. Albus had never taken an aggressive tone with her before. She felt as though he'd just slammed a door in her face.

"Well, why's he in the Hospital Wing?" Her tone was as short as his, now.

"Go and ask him yourself," Albus replied.

Rose couldn't help but think that sounded like a very good idea. She did have a free period after Defence Against the Dark Arts. She could easily go up and see him. But still, she was annoyed at how Albus had spoken to her.

"Fine. But I'm not talking to Lily."

The next hour and a half felt impossibly slow, as if they'd lasted years. Of course, they hadn't; time had ticked forwards at exactly the same pace it always did, inching ever onwards with the tick tock of the second hand. But Rose could hardly wait. She had an excuse to see him. Albus had told her to. She didn't need to make up a fanciful tale as an excuse to talk to him; she just needed to forget to mention the details of the conversation she'd had.

She didn't know when Lily's free periods were, and she didn't know how much Lily knew, but she hoped, and would have prayed, that she knew more than Lily and that she got there first. She'd just hate to walk in on the two of them together. She knew herself somewhat well, and knew she'd see red and make a fool of herself. She couldn't risk that.

She wondered if it was too much to take a card. She didn't have any cards going spare, but she could make one. She didn't know what was wrong with him, but if he was in the Hospital Wing, a "get well soon" seemed appropriate. Maybe she should take him a small gift. She had some Honeyduke's Finest in her dormitory that she'd been saving for a rainy day. Fruit and nut, if she remembered rightly. Chocolate always went down well when people were feeling under the weather.

Yes, she decided, shortly before the end of her second class. She'd take him her chocolate, but she would forgo making a card, because she just knew it would look awful. She'd never been artistic, after all.

When the professor dismissed them, Rose didn't even hear her friends calling after her as she left the classroom as quickly as she could, racing to Ravenclaw Tower before heading to the Hospital Wing. She hid the chocolates in her bag, wanting to give them to him at the end of their meeting, so he'd be left with sweet thoughts of her.

She was breathless when she reached the door to the ward, so she stood outside for a few minutes to calm herself down. She brushed down over her hair and clothes to make sure they didn't look like she'd run here straight after class. When her breathing was under control enough to make conversation, she pushed the door open and scoured the room for him.

He was sat up in bed, leaning over some sort of notebook with a quill in hand. His perfect blonde hair was a little dishevelled, while his usually glowing pale face seemed to Rose wan and lifeless. Her heartstrings tugged at his condition and she attempted to smile kindly, warmly.

At the sound of her approach, Scorpius looked up, and his eyes immediately widened. Rose took this as a good sign, even as his mouth hung open in surprise.

"Scorpius! Albus said you were here. I tried to ask him what was wrong but he told me I should come up and ask you myself." Rose pulled a chair around from the middle of the room to seat herself right by his bed. Scorpius pulled the covers up a little higher towards his chin. "How are you? What's the matter?" she asked as she stared at him.

"Er, oh, it's just an allergy. I'll be out by lunchtime," he told her, his voice a little quiet. Rose couldn't help but think it was cute that he appeared nervous around her. She looked away, deciding to allow him a moment to regain his composure.

Her eyes landed on a card on his bedside table. A drawing of a Quidditch broom stood lonely in a cupboard with the words "We missed you this morning - get well soon!" written across the bottom in fancy cursive. It didn't seem very fitting, at least not to Rose. Sure, he played Quidditch, but the Slytherin team weren't on the rota to practice until tomorrow evening, so the broom made very little sense. Rose wondered who bought it, and who it's intended recipient had been before it was sent to Scorpius, alongside, she didn't doubt, the Chocolate Frogs that lay next to it.

"That card's cool, right? She drew it in class this morning and brought it up during her free period last. She's a really talented artist. And Chocolate Frogs are my favourite," Scorpius told her, muttering as he tried to make conversation.

"But, you don't play Quidditch on Tuesday mornings?" Rose replied, confused.

"I, er, do, actually. Not with the team. The field's free before breakfast so I go down with a few friends."

That was new information for Rose, and it wasn't often she received new information about Scorpius, not these days. She turned to look at him surprised. She happened to glance down to his notebook, poorly disguised by the narrow width of his arm, and saw that it was not a notebook at all, in fact, but a sketchbook. His drawings were wildly different to that on the front of the card. They were darker, messier. But there was artistic skill in there, nonetheless.

Rose said nothing.

"Well, it would be weird if I knew everything about you," Rose replied with a large, too high laugh.

"Yeah, sure."

"So, who brought you the card?" Rose asked, attempting a tone of innocent enquiry.

"Er, well, Lily, actually," he said with a small smile.

"Oh. Lily. Sure." Rose faked a smile.

The silence that followed was measurable. Rose cleared her throat as she thought as quickly as she could. She reached into her bag and pulled out the Honeydukes.

"Here! I brought these for you!"

Scorpius looked at the packet and seemed very reluctant to take it. "Er, thanks. You can just put them on the table."

Rose felt a little dismayed at that reaction, but did as she was told with a smile.

"So, what are you allergic to? What did you react to?" she asked, trying to make conversation.

"Erm, nuts."

"Oh," Rose said in a friendly tone. It took her brain a few seconds to catch up. "Oh," she said with more finality. "I'll, er, take these back." She picked the chocolates back up and put them back in her bag, suddenly feeling a need to make a hasty departure.

"So, erm, get well soon!" she said as she began to stand.

"Yes, I'll try. Thanks for coming!" he said, smiling a little.

Rose walked out wishing the floor would open up and swallow her.

The thoughts of how much of a mess she'd made of things followed her around all day, as prominent in her every activity as the chocolate itself in her bag. She couldn't wait to crawl into a hole, curl up in a ball and devour all of the chocolate herself.

She saw Scorpius at lunchtime, of course, and in one of her afternoon classes, but he didn't look over or catch her eye. Rose wondered if this was intentional, and if it was intentional, whether he was ignoring her out of annoyance at her or out of respect for her. She didn't know. It was all so confusing.

"Rose, we're taking bets on the Cannons versus Arrows match this evening," a friend called out, grinning. Rose looked over and blinked.

"I don't know. What does it matter anyway?" she asked, feeling decidedly morose.

"It's just fun, Rose. If you remember what that is. You used to join in once," Amanda replied, with a hard edge to her voice.

Rose didn't understand where that edge had come from. Hardly anyone ever spoke to Rose like that. Or at least, they never used to. It seemed to be getting more frequent, which was not a good thing in Rose's books. She began to wonder what she'd done.

"Sorry," she said, turning back to the food on her plate, pulling herself back out of the conversation. She had some thinking to do.

Once classes were over, Rose began to gather her things so she could head down to the Quidditch Pitch. Slytherin practiced on Tuesday evenings, so naturally, Rose could always be found there. Amanda had always joined her, too. Rose wasn't sure if Amanda would want to come today, but it seemed like a fair attempt at redemption for her to invite her.

"Amanda, I was… well, I was wondering if you wanted to come to the Quidditch Pitch with me?" Rose asked, feeling the tightness of her collar around her neck, the dampness in the palms of her hands.

Amanda didn't respond with anger; she merely sighed. "No, Rose. I don't want to go with you. I want five minutes of friendship with you that don't have anything to do with him. In fact, all of your friends want that."

Amanda walked away before Rose had a chance to reply. She couldn't understand the mix of emotions she felt. There was both anger and frustration, but they sat besides shame and guilt. She couldn't work out which emotions were the right ones. Sitting down in the Quidditch stands a few minutes later, it was as though her heart had been placed in a muggle blender.

She could see Lily nearby, in the next stand over, sat with her friends. Rose felt uncomfortable alone, but she didn't let it show. She pulled out her book and angled her head down, pretending to read while she looked up tough her eyelashes at the pitch. No one had looked her way yet. No one seemed to have seen her. The players on the pitch were winding down a drill. Lily saw this and almost ran to the pitch. Rose didn't move.

What she saw next knocked the wind right out of her. As Lily approached the pitch, Scorpius flew down and landed right beside her.

And he kissed her.

Rose stared, unable to look away. Scorpius placed his hands on Lily's hips and smiled. Albus ran to the pair and grabbed Scorpius' shoulder, saying something that caused Scorpius to drop his hands. Lily looked up and stared right at Rose. She turned back to Scorpius for a moment and then the pair were walking away from each other. Lily was walking towards Rose.

Rose didn't know what to do. Her brain wasn't working, wasn't giving her any answers. Lily drew closer and closer and there was no way for Rose to escape. She didn't want this conversation. Not now, not ever.

"Rose," Lily began. Dos had never heard her own name said with such pity. "I'm sorry."

I don't want you to be sorry. I want you to shut up. Shut up shut up shut up. Leave me alone. All these words Rose felt but she couldn't say anything. Her mouth refused to move.

"We wanted to tell you. We didn't want you to find out this way. We didn't know you were here."

Rose was staring at a distant patch of grass as the word 'we' reverberated around her mind. She hated the word. Hated it.

"We both knew you liked him, too, you see, and I know things have been complicated between me and you for a while now."

Why did she get the higher moral ground? Why did she, the younger one, the dumber one, the shallow one, get to talk with such condescension? Their fight over the boy was apparently over, but Rose hated her even more.

"He did… he did try to tell you he wasn't interested that way. He just didn't want to hurt you, He likes you as a friend, Rose. We both do."

Lily threw the pity card at her like it was a kindness and still, Rose couldn't find her voice.

She'd been focused on him, she'd never even considered a possibility like this.

She was certain everything would be perfect.

Nothing was perfect.

And Albus…

And Amanda…

And here Lily was, the only person still playing nice.

Rose wanted to scream. She wanted to shout. She wanted to cry. She wanted to do all three at once so that nothing came out of her but loud, unintelligible sounds, so that fat ugly rivers rolled down her cheeks, so that her whole face and neck turned bright red from the sheer force of her own single-mindedness.

"Rose, please say something," Lily said with a nervous giggle at the end.

"I've ruined everything…" Rose heard her own voice as if another's mouth had used it. She didn't remember thinking those words. "I need to… I need to speak to Amanda."

She was running before she'd even realised she'd stood up. Her bag was long forgotten about, the book that had been on her knee fallen to the floor without ceremony.

The only truth occupying Rose's mind was one she wished she'd seen months ago.

She'd get over losing Scorpius. It was her friends she really needed.