Chapter 20

Elle was clutching the handle of her teacup so tight her knuckles were white. "Miss… are you alright?" Zella asked, looking at her with her preternaturally blue eyes. "What? Oh, I'm fine thank you" Elle replied, taking a sip of the still steaming tea. She barely even felt it's scalding heat, though the burn on her tongue would bother her for days. Waiting was the hardest part. The clock on the mantlepiece mocked her with its incessant ticking. The sound was frustratingly regular. If only it would speed up. She stared, the teacup shaking slightly in her grasp, frozen halfway to her mouth.

Tik.. tik… tik.. tik.. tik. Tiktik. Tiktiktik. Elle shook herself, realizing what she was doing. She needed to get a better handle on herself. Spell-less magic was for children with no control over their emotions. Elle had control. She was determined to.

"Y'aright plaits?" a voice asked, and Elle was startled from her thoughts. She hadn't even heard the tall redhead come in. Elle wrinkled her nose. "You smell like fish, James Potter" she said. "Is that so?" James asked "I couldn't imagine why…" he said, but his hazel eyes were twinkling with laughter. Elle, not in the mood to play games, just rolled her eyes and turned towards the fire.

"Oh, come on. You can't still be cross about the match." It took Elle a minute to figure out what he was talking about. Elle snorted. "A game won on luck alone? Not exactly impressive, is it?" James tutted, grabbing a seat in the opposite armchair. "If you really thought it was only luck, then why have you been flying every day this week?" Elle looked at him. "And how would you know either way?" James pointed to her plait. There were twigs in her hair.

"You know, you're not supposed to fly over the forbidden forest. Let alone in it." Elle shrugged. "I like the forest. It's… quiet." Even as she said it, she knew that wasn't the exact right word. She wasn't sure how to describe how the forest made her feel. Safe, peaceful, and happy all didn't quite fit either. She frowned, and James misread her face. "I won't tell on you, but it seems a bit extreme, hiding in the woods so that my scouts can't report what you're practising for the final." "We aren't in the final yet" Elle said, replying absently, still thinking about the forest and what it meant to her. James made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "Hufflepuff doesn't stand a chance. Macmillan's in detention. Stupid oaf was caught snogging in the broom closet right outside of Blanco's office."

That caught Elle's attention. The meaning behind her broom closet jokes from the previous term suddenly made sense, and she blushed. "Besides, I haven't been flying in the forest with the team" Elle said, hurriedly changing the subject. James raised his eyebrow. "Elle that's really dangerous. You should never fly alone, especially in a forest. Any forest, let alone the forbidden forest." "I stick to the paths Hagrid keeps. They're easy to find with an aerial view. Quite wide, you know." James snorted. He accepted a cup of tea from Zella with a smile and nod.

"So, what are you flying for, if not to try and beat the great James Potter?" James asked, with just a touch less sarcasm than there should have been. "I fly for the same reason you fly" Elle said. James raised an eyebrow. "You ride the wind. I… tame it. Whatever, it's stupid." James was staring at her now, the barest hint of tension in his brow. "I don't know how to explain it. I fly because when you fly, really fly, you can't think about anything else. If you do, you're toast." James nodded, averting his eyes.

The older boy cleared his throat. "I came here because I wanted to talk to you" James said finally. "I never really had the chance to thank you. For warning me about Albus and the cloak, I mean." Elle nodded. That seemed like it had been ages ago. "I did it more for Albus than I did for you" Elle replied honestly. James nodded. "That actually makes it better, believe it or not. I mean it Elle. I owe you one." Elle finished her tea. She'd been keeping an eye on the clock the entire conversation, and it was finally time to go.

"I'll hold you to that, James Potter" Elle replied, heading out the door. Albus and Scorpius should be arriving at the meeting spot any minute now, if things had gone to plan. Elle ached for some answers.

"This looks like tar" Albus said, gagging as he smelt the goblet in front of him. "Mine looks fine" Scorpius said, inspecting the toffee-coloured liquid that Tobias Traver's hair had just gone into. He wrinkled his nose "smells a bit burnt, though." Albus gagged as he swirled the Polyjuice potion around. "It's well thick too." Albus curled his lips in disgust as he looked at the concoction one more time before plugging his nose and chugging it back. Scorpius did the same, both wincing as taste hit their throats.

Immediately, Albus felt the weirdest sensation all over his body. His skin was bubbling, his bones were shooting outwards as he grew several inches. He could feel his hair shrinking backwards into his head and then braiding itself tightly to his scalp. In front of him, Scorpius was undergoing similarly odd changes. His soft blond hair was getting coarser, thicker, and darker. His shoulders were getting wider, and his cheeks chubbier. Albus stared at him. "You look awful" he said. The boy in front of him smiled an unfamiliar grin. "Back at you. You reckon they'll be alright?" Scorpius/Tobias asked, shooting a look at the two boys they were impersonating snoring softly in their beds. "I filled their water bottles with sleeping potion. You know they always chug them when then get back from flying. Pitch was open for free flying today, and Goyle's meeting was penciled in Esmond's planner for tonight. Can't believe we didn't think of that sooner… He might be a git, but he's always been an organized one. Everything's fallen into place. Tonight's the night." Scorpius nodded hesitantly.

"Alright. Act meaner" Albus said, hoping he sounded more confident than he felt. It was very weird to walk into the Slytherin common room as Esmond Warbeck. Usually, Albus and Scorpius hurried out, not daring to make eye contact with any of the older students. The less time spent in the open common room, the better. This time however, Albus forced himself to walk leisurely, nodding familiarly to some of the other second year boys sitting by the fire playing a game of exploding snaps. The other boys gave him a wave. Albus returned it, hesitating only for a second, before slipping out of the archway and into the empty corridor.

"I think I can feel my heartbeat in my throat" Scorpius gasped. Albus stretched out his arms. He was enjoying being tall for night. "Piece of cake. Now let's see what this meeting is all about." He walked casually down the hall, splaying his feet out slightly, as was Esmond's habit. He was good at this. Scorpius was scurrying, not used to having the shorter stride length. "Stop freaking out" Albus hissed between closed teeth. "I'm not freaking out" Scorpius replied, but the squeak in his voice betrayed him. "Just… let me do the talking" Albus sighed. Scorpius nodded eagerly, Tobias' brown hair falling over his eyes momentarily. He blew it off his face. "I think Tobias would rather be caught dead that pulling that move" Albus said, half a laugh in his voice. Scorpius frowned. "Why is his hair so long? How can he even see with this!"

Albus wiped the smile off his face as he approached Goyle's office door. Slim shadows were changing the shape of the light pouring out into the dim corridor. People had arrived. Albus met Scorpius's terrified eyes and tried to nod firmly, hoping to appease his fears.

Albus watched as Esmond's long, unfamiliar fingers reached out a grasped the door handles. He had absolutely no idea what to expect. It was over in a second. The door was open, and suddenly he and Scorpius were inside Goyle's dimly lit office. There were already a few students there, chatting idly to each other and sitting in chairs set out in a loose circle. Scorpius shot him a confused look the familiarity of the gesture slightly altered by the deep brown of Tobias's eyes. Albus quickly took the nearest seat.

A few last students flitted in as the minutes passed. Albus fought the urge to stick out a hand and forcefully stop Scorpius from nervously shaking his leg, which he had been doing since he had sat down. Goyle finally entered the room as the distant chimes of the bell indicated it was 10 o'clock. The meetings usually adjourned by midnight, and the Polyjuice potion would give them three hours, tops. It was going to be tight.

Scorpius finally stilled his leg in response to the hush that fell over the room as Goyle took the last remaining seat. "Welcome back" Goyle said kindly. There were a few scattered murmured thank yous, and then Goyle resumed. If Albus had been given a thousand guess of what he would say next, he still would not have predicted his words. "I hope you've been taking my reflection questions seriously, because that's what we're going to start with today. Now, last week, I asked you all to record any moment that you remember where you felt your life was impacted negatively by being closely related to a deatheater. We're going to go around a circle and talk about it. I like to remind everyone before we start that this is a safe space. Everything we say does not leave this room…"

Albus didn't need to hear anything else. It had quickly become very, very clear that they had made a terrible mistake. One glance to his side confirmed that Scorpius had come to the same conclusions. It took all of Albus's control to stay seated and now run out of the room immediately. They would have to wait until they could leave without arousing suspicion. He tried to communicate that silently to Scorpius, who looked tense enough to bolt any minute. They shouldn't be here. They never should have been here.

Albus tried his best to listen as students around the circle shared their stories. Some spoke about dreading family gatherings. About not knowing if they could trust what their parents told them about the wizarding world and how it worked. Some spoke more angrily about how they were treated by others, the stares on the streets, the whispers that followed them everywhere. "People hear my name, and they expect me to act a certain way, you know?" Avery said, his heavy brow drawing shadows on his face, "and then they treat me in a way that makes me want to act exactly how they expect me to. It's like… I don't even get a chance." Goyle nodded. "Remember our conversation last term about 'self-fulfilling prophecies? I think we can make some connections there, and I think a lot of us feel the same way." There was a general sound of agreement around the circle.

Albus realized with a start that it was his turn to speak. Goyle was staring at him with his placid face. He could feel the long seconds ticking by his brain screaming at him that every moment he didn't speak made him more suspicious. "I'm jealous" Albus blurted out. "I… I… I'm jealous of the kids with no names. I mean, uh, of course they have names, but not recognizable ones, at least. It's like, what you see is what you get," To his surprise, people around the circle seemed to be nodding in response to his words. His heartbeat slowed a little in his chest. "I know that most people just go by their first names at school. But there's always the second name floating after it, even if it isn't said. At least, that's how it feels like for me."

It was Scorpius's turn to speak. Albus tried not to wince as he waited for Scorpius to say something, praying that he would have the courage. To his surprise, Scorpius started speaking immediately, and his tone was even, his pace calm. "The hardest part is that everyone has an opinion. Most of the time it's a bad one, like everyone said. But sometimes, people, especially older ones, hear your name and you can just, like, tell that it's a 'good' name to them. And I think that's even worse, because it reminds you that there's still people out there who support deatheaters, even if it's mostly very quietly. But that's not even the worst part, I think. The worst part is that it sort of feels good, for a second. It feels good to have someone smile when they hear your name instead of frown. I hate that. I hate that it makes me happy, even for a second."

Goyle was looking at Scorpius intently. Albus felt the fear rise up in his throat. Tobias would never had said something that thoughtful. The game was up. Shockingly, Goyle smiled. "Well said, as always Tobias. Thank you for sharing." Scorpius, a shade paler than he had been a moment before, nodded mutely. Albus heard him exhale in relief as the seventh-year girl to his left started speaking.

The next hour went by relatively quickly. They reviewed strategies to redirect thoughts of anger when someone mistreated them for their name. They brainstormed ways to 'take back' their identity, and how to start creating positive associations with their family name. Albus actually found it very interesting. He reckoned there was half an hour left when he met Scorpius's eyes and smiled at him in response to a particularly well thought out piece of advice that he had shared.

It took him a second to realize what was wrong. The eyes he had met had been grey. Darker than Scorpius's usual shade, but grey, nonetheless. The potion was wearing off. Albus stared at his hands. His palms were definitely two shades lighter than they had been a moment before. He kicked the back of Scorpius's chair. The other boy looked at him, and he saw his eyes widen. Clearly, it wasn't just his hands that were lightening.

There was no time for subtlety now. Albus stood up hurriedly, his chair scraping loudly and cutting Goyle off midsentence. "Tobias doesn't feel very well" Albus said shakily, "I'm going to take him to the hospital wing." Scorpius was bent over, hiding his rapidly lightening hair, and Albus desperately hoped that he looked ill. Without waiting to hear Goyle's response, he burst out the door, dragging Scorpius with him.

He didn't even wait to confirm to Scorpius where they were heading. There wasn't the time. The two boys immediately started sprinting off towards the third-floor girl's toilets. They hadn't gotten more than three feet before they heard the door to Goyle's office reopen. Albus didn't hear what Goyle shouted after him, his breath was so heavy from the sprint.

The boys could feel, rather than see, that Goyle was chasing after them. Albus bodily pulled Scorpius into a classroom as they made a hairpin turn. The two watched anxiously as Goyle ran past their hiding spot. Albus counted to ten under his breath, then looked to Scorpius, who nodded. The two made their way as quickly and as silently as they could to the third-floor corridor.

Albus was about to say that he thought they were going to get away with it when Peeves floated overhead. Peeves seemed to read the desperation on Albus's face, and completely ignored his silent pleas. "ICKLE LITTLES OUT OF BED" Peeves shouted loudly, banging on a nearby suit of armor and cackling with glee. Albus and Scorpius heard the sound of heavy footsteps thundering their way.

It was another all-out sprint towards the corridor. They made it in record speed, the sounds of pursuit getting louder with each minute. With a victorious grin, Albus yanked open the door to the third-floor corridor. They were going to make it! What he saw next stopped him in his tracks. At first, he thought it was a wall. A second later he realized it was actually water, magically head back with a shimmery spell. The entire third floor corridor had been filled with water. Albus swore he even saw a flash of silver scales that could have been a fish.

"Boys" Albus heard a very angry voice say behind him. Scorpius, who was now completely Scorpius, save for some freckles that were fading fast upon his cheeks, shot him a terrified glance. Albus turned to face the voice, his heart sinking.