Chapter 1

I curse the day and blame the world

For choices all my own

I got the patience of a dying man

Whose heart has turned to stone

The blood that's running through my veins

Is cold as cold can be

The darkness that I keep inside

is surely killing me

The weak October sunlight struggled to seep through the grimy windows of Tala's workshop in Moscow as he tirelessly worked on his latest project. The familiar scents of oil and gasoline lingered in the air, competing with the sight of scattered tools and parts on the dirty floor. Wiping away sweat and grime from his face and hands, he focused intently on restoring a once battered Royal Enfield Continental bike to its former glory. The garage door was left halfway open, allowing slivers of light to illuminate the otherwise dim space. The sounds of passing cars and distant conversations mixed with the constant hum of machinery and tools, filling the workshop with a steady soundtrack.

Tala's body aching after hours spent hunched over the bike, his muscles tense and strained. Standing up to stretch, he revealed a body adorned with intricate tattoos that had become an obsession over the years. Their meaning was secondary; he simply enjoyed the artistry and allowed someone from his darker past to decorate him.

It had been 8 years since the Australian tournament that left deep marks on Tala and his team. Now, with newfound freedom of choice before them, they were all trying to come to terms with their new reality. It had taken him longer than his brothers, but eventually he found comfort in making his own decisions.

He had trained himself to let go of the constant vigilance and awareness that came with being a part of BioVolt. Although he could have excelled academically, it wouldn't have quieted his restless mind. Instead, he threw himself into projects like this restoration, finding ways to keep himself occupied and distracted from any trouble.

But as he tightened that last bolt deep within the engine, a sharp pain pierced through his head. Clutching his temples and cursing under his breath, he tried to distract himself from the throbbing migraine by focusing on anything else in the room - the shine of metal tools or even just the dust particles dancing in the sunbeams.

The clanging sound of a tool dropping made Julia appear from out of the small office. She saw him struggle to get up and rushed to his side immediately. "Aye, Tala!" she exclaimed in her heavy Spanish accent, noticing his discomfort. "Mi amor, not again...!" Unable to respond, his head throbbing painfully, he allowed her to guide him to a chair amidst the clutter of parts. She helped him sit down and gently brushed her hand against his forehead, feeling the dampness of sweat.

"Stay here," she instructed firmly, a hint of worry in her voice. She disappeared into an adjacent office and returned shortly with a glass of water and a bottle of painkillers she knew he kept in a drawer. Returning with the bottle he gave a click with his tongue in annoyance, not so much directed at her but he knew those things weren't going to do much anyways. Placing her hand on her hip she gave him this look as if she could read his mind then and there. "Stop being stubborn,"

"Fine, fine.." He admitted to defeat knowing he couldn't change her mind anyways. He took a handful, possible enough to knock down a horse and swallowed them down in one big gulp. It was going to be a good half hour if not longer before they'd take effect but it already helped by being distracted from it. He leaned back slightly in the chair and felt her hand gently move away a few strands of hair from his face.

Julia shook her head, letting out a soft sigh as she plucked some of his stray hairs out of his face. "You've been working too much again haven't you," she scolded gently. She knew him well enough to see through his facade of being okay, and she wouldn't have it any other way.

He leaned into her touch, savoring the moment with his eyes closed before gazing back up at her. "I know," he whispered. It was one of those phases again...where he would alternate between moments of intensity and exhaustion. He kept himself busy to avoid falling back into the void that haunted him. It wasn't a financial necessity - he and his brothers had been able to stand on their own feet for quite some time now. But the distraction was necessary to prevent his mind from slipping into darkness once more. Perhaps it was the gloomy days or the howling winds at night that kept him awake. The fact that she was staying for a good few weeks helped a lot though, though he'd kept that to himself.

Julia couldn't help but scoff at his mulishness . "No, you'll take a break now," she stated firmly.

He paused, weighing his options with Julia's thoughts in mind. While he could stay firm and hold his ground, he knew she was one of the few people who could stand up to him. With their fiery tempers, it was no wonder they often clashed. But on one particular occasion, she had shocked him by speaking fluent Russian just to prove her point, despite typically only switching between Spanish and English when upset.

"Ok," he relented with a deep exhale, getting to his feet and using an old rag to clean his hands. "I'll make one phone call and then we can go." He walked past her and headed towards the office.

Frustration etched her features as she leaned her head back and let out an audible groan, hoping he would hear her. "One call," she reminded him firmly. He simply grinned innocently at her before stepping into the office.

Ever since losing to Tala and Kai in the Egyptian tournament, she had known him for years. Bitter about their defeat, she confronted him that evening because of his condescending tone. However, their fiery debate sparked something between them, leading to an on-and-off relationship. They didn't label themselves or dwell on the past; they simply enjoyed each other's company in the present. But deep down, Julia yearned for more from their relationship. She admired the Russian's straightforwardness, strength, and most importantly, his acceptance of her when she opened up to him one day. However, a year ago, Julia couldn't take it anymore and decided to lay all her emotions on the table one last time. She expected him to shut down as he usually did, keeping his thoughts to himself. But much to her surprise, he opened up just enough for them to give their relationship a real chance

He was taken aback by her honesty; handling emotions was unfamiliar territory for him. He was someone who either liked a person or didn't; there was no gray area. What drew him to Julia was her outspoken nature and strong personality, but what made him stay was her patience and gentle touch. It took time for him to get used to physical affection without any hidden motives behind it. She showed him a softer side of life, and he found it amusing how even something as simple as watching ducks could bring her joy. Being with her was a beautiful chaos.

She knew it wouldn't be a simple task. The rumors about Tala and his team were mostly true; they had a reputation for violence, especially Tala and Brian. Spencer was the more level-headed one in their group. There was also a fourth member, Ian, but she never got the chance to meet him as Spencer had mentioned that he passed away years ago. Sometimes, she wished Tala would open up about their past before they met. The media's portrayal of them after BioVolt's downfall was far from accurate, and their conflicts with BEGA were anything but smooth sailing. Thinking back on those times still gave her shivers, knowing how close Tala came to losing his life. But they never talked about it; they carried the scars and moved forward as if it was no big deal. Sometimes, too nonchalantly.

Tala's frequent sleepless nights left Julia feeling frustrated as she woke up alone. However, she was determined to make their relationship work and believed in the strength of their love.

After a short while, he emerged from his office, dressed in jeans and a black t-shirt, having changed out of his coveralls. He turned off the lights with a flick of a switch, and they left together through the door.

Outside, Julia hugged her coat closer to herself as a cold afternoon breeze made her shiver. And then there was this man... She couldn't help but eye him up and down. Only wearing a t-shirt in the middle of winter. "Can't you at least put on a coat?" she scolded him. He gave her a disapproving look, to which she responded by sticking out her tongue. "What? It's for my comfort, not yours."

He let out a snort.. her logic defied all laws of physics sometimes and that was probably the only law he'd ever abided to anyways.

Julia took a few steps ahead until her attention was called by him. In just seconds, she caught a set of keys thrown her way with lightning-fast reflexes. With one hand on her hip and the other dangling the keys, she raised an eyebrow at him. "Since when are you the passenger princess?"

He simply shrugged with a slight grin. "Eh, this isn't the countryside in Seville."

She playfully rolled her eyes in response. Those small gestures he did always gave her that extra push to step out of her comfort zone. Although she wasn't one to easily back down, driving in a foreign country in a city always made her a bit nervous. She couldn't help but feel slightly jealous at how effortlessly it seemed to come to him - that man could drive in Manila with one arm out the window and not even get a single dent on the car.

He didn't settle for your typical city car either. At first glance, it appeared to be just any ordinary BMW with its notorious body kit. However, under the hood lay a beast - an abomination built from various parts and pieces he had gathered and fixed together for the sole purpose of going faster and stronger. She never quite understood his fascination with it, but she had a feeling he mainly did it to keep himself busy.

He jumped into the passenger seat carelessly, propping his feet up on the dashboard. A self-satisfied smirk spread across his face, almost as if he could read her thoughts. Julia couldn't help but let out an exasperated sigh as she turned on the engine and it roared to life. She knew; for the next half hour, she would have to endure this. As she drove onto the main road, she settled into a rhythm of shifting gears and trying to maintain control whenever she stepped on the gas pedal too hard. This wasn't the first time they had done this, but she always needed some time to adjust. At least now she knew how to navigate through Moscow without relying on GPS, towards his house.

She glanced over at him from the corner of her eye, noticing a sense of calmness and contentment in his demeanor - partly thanks to painkillers, but also due to a change in his behavior lately.

He lazily leaned his head towards her, his red hair shining under the city lights. "Are you busy tomorrow?"

She hummed softly before answering, "I'm meeting with Mariah first, and then Hilary is supposed to land about an hour later." The moment she mentioned Hilary's name, she could swear she heard him let out an annoyed sigh. Where there was Hilary, there was Kai - they had been married for two years now. Sometimes it felt like just yesterday when they won the last championship, but in reality, it had been many years since then.

"I bet he's ecstatic to see you too," she chuckled with a hint of sarcasm. "But don't worry, all the teams will be there, so you don't have to be around him all day."

"Yeah... Mr. Dickenson already gave us a call, making it into a bigger deal than necessary," his tone clearly showing annoyance.

She smiled softly and placed her hand on top of his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "He's just trying to get everyone involved..." or at least that's what she assumed. Neither of them were particularly excited about the BBA's extravagant event in Moscow. Despite leaving the competition behind years ago, the Neoborgs were still expected to attend. The stadium had been acquired by the BBA after everything that had happened and had undergone major renovations, becoming more modern and attracting potential new athletes. There were even rumors of a new national team being formed, though details were scarce. However, many locals remained loyal to the Neoborgs, and the stadium still bore Tala's name as a three-time champion.

He intertwined his fingers with hers and let out a noncommittal sound in response. "That doesn't mean we have to enjoy it," he said.

She chuckled softly, savoring this brief moment of physical connection. Julia's heart fluttered as he tenderly caressed her knuckles with his thumb. To an outsider, this may seem like a normal gesture between any average couple. But for them, it was significant progress. Julia knew that Tala was not one for expressing himself through words or displays of affection.

With a sigh of relief, Julia watched as the highways faded behind them, and they embarked on the scenic road that led to the outskirts of the city. As they drove deeper into the rural parts, she couldn't help but feel a sense of peace wash over her. Despite spending most of their time in the heart of the bustling city, it was always easier for them to hide away in a more isolated place where they could keep to themselves.

As they made one last turn, they crossed a small concrete bridge and arrived at their destination - a simple two-story farmhouse. The exterior was a mix of timber and brick, with a tall tree standing guard at the front entrance, providing a small semblance of privacy. Next to the house stood an open barn, used as a makeshift carport and storage for various crates and old wooden beams. It was one of those projects that had been continuously pushed off with promises of "I'll do it next summer."

But in Julia's opinion, the back of the house was much more charming. A covered deck overlooked the vast expanse of land that stretched out to meet the edge of the neighboring forest. No other houses could be seen, giving her a sense of tranquility reminiscent of her time in Spain. She loved the city life, but this place felt like home.

Exiting the car, they both entered the house. "I'll take a quick shower," he told her as he brushed his hand through her hair. Julia nodded in response and headed into the living room. The interior was simple yet elegant, predominantly white with hints of gray and brown from the furniture. Thankfully, Spencer had taken charge of decorating - if it were up to Brian, their home would resemble a bar, and Tala would have settled for just a plastic chair.

Julia quickly greeted Brian upon entering the area, receiving a brief and unenthusiastic response in return. Their relationship was not hostile, but there was no strong connection between them. Brian simply saw Julia as the person his captain was involved with, nothing more. He tolerated her presence, but they rarely interacted.

With a silent step, Julia crept into the kitchen, her eyes eagerly searching for her target. She spotted him at the stove, his tall frame hunched over as he stirred something in a pot. A playful battle cry escaped her lips before she pounced, wrapping her arms around the man's neck from behind. Spencer, the tall blonde who was unlike anyone else she had ever met, let out a surprised yelp before turning to face her with a grin.

She couldn't help but smile as she approached the tall, blonde man stirring a pot on the stove. Spencer, unlike Brian, had been an instant friend to Julia from the moment they met. His caring nature made him stand out amongst their group of friends, earning him the nickname "the gentle giant."

Julia let out a playful battle cry as she snuck up behind Spencer and wrapped her arms around his neck. Startled, he exclaimed her name before turning to face her with a wide grin.

"What are you cooking?" Julia asked, trying to peer over his shoulder but unable to see into the pot.

"Um...I'm not quite sure actually," Spencer stuttered, feeling a bit lost. "Just threw some things together."

Curious, Julia shifted to his side and caught a glimpse of the simmering vegetable soup in the pot. Despite its unconventional combination of ingredients, it looked and smelled delicious. "It looks...well, it smells great!" she complimented him, giving him a pat on the back.

Spencer chuckled in response. "Let's hope it doesn't taste as it looks then," he joked.

"Oh I'm sure it'll be wonderful," Julia reassured him with a smile. "How was your day though?"

Spencer's expression turned mischievous as he recounted their latest encounter on the job. "Oh you wouldn't believe what we encountered today," he laughed. "There was this guy with low blood sugar and he went on an absolute rampage...threw his TV out of the window and onto his car."

Amused, Julia raised an eyebrow. "Seriously? That must have been quite a shock for him when he realized what happened."

Spencer nodded, still chuckling at the memory. "Heh, it sure was. You two are back early though," he noted, turning his attention back to the pan on the stove.

Julia propped herself up against the counter, idly tucking her hair behind her ear. "If the decision was his he'd possibly be there till far past midnight," she chuckled, but there was a touch of sadness in her voice. "I can't help but worry, Spence. I've only been here for a week and he's already had three of those 'migraines'."

Spencer didn't respond immediately. He understood her concerns - in fact, he shared them. The most unsettling part was not knowing what triggered these migraines, or their true cause. He knew Tala had been through a lot, and he had some theories about the migraines, but they seemed to be becoming more frequent lately. With a sigh, Spencer turned off the stove and turned to face Julia with a serious look.

"I know," he said, his tone laced with worry. "I've been keeping an eye on him too. But he's always been so guarded...it's hard to really understand what's going on in his mind."

With his hair still damp and covering his forehead, he walked into the living room. He collapsed onto the couch next to Brian and propped his feet up on the table. The falcon blader sat on the edge of the couch, intently watching a soccer match with a few beers in front of him.

Tala leaned forward and grabbed a bottle, opening it with a lighter and taking a sip while scrolling through his phone absentmindedly.

"Any news from that old man?" Brian asked without looking at him.

"Yeah," Tala started but never finished his sentence.

"And...?" Brian pressed for more information.

"What..." Tala responded, getting annoyed.

Brian clenched his jaw and took a swig from his own bottle before sinking back into the couch. "Don't give me that nonsense, you're the last person who wants to be in that arena."

Tala let out a tired sigh and rubbed the tense muscles in his neck. "Let's just show up and get it over with. That's all that matters."

Brian retorted sharply, "You're only doing Dickenson a favor."

"Whatever," Tala replied dismissively, irritation evident in his tone. "Kai is also in town starting tomorrow."

"Huh," Brian mused with surprise in his voice. "First time in... what, ten years?"

Tala scoffed, "Yeah, Julia mentioned it earlier. She's meeting Hilary, his wife, tomorrow."

"Oh right, the girl who ran with Tyson and his team. Heh, I can't believe that guy got married," Brian remarked with a playful smirk. "Seems like you're falling behind."

The teasing remark earned him a sharp look from Tala, but he quickly regained his composure. After all, Brian knew exactly how to push Tala's buttons; they had shared a long history together. Plus he'd hardly pass on any opportunity to tease him a little when it came to Julia.

"Whatever," Tala said dismissively.

Brian glanced quickly towards the slightly ajar kitchen door as he began speaking. He had something important to discuss and while he didn't mind if Spencer overheard, he was less thrilled when Julia started picking up on some Russian vocabulary. Feeling confident that their conversation would remain private, Brian said, "Something's brewing beneath the surface. Those men have been meeting more frequently lately. Deals falling through...roads being 'haunted'."

Tala groaned inwardly; the last place he wanted to be was at Brian's pub, surrounded by its colorful and often troublesome patrons. "Can't they just clean up their own mess?" he grumbled.

"Apparently not," Brian replied with a scoff. "It's getting harder to bribe people nowadays, so it's only a matter of time before they come crawling back to us."

Tala let out a deep sigh; in the past, his underworld connections had helped him avoid involvement with federal organizations. He was skilled at slipping through the cracks of the law and bending it to his will. Brian had a tongue like a snake when dealing with such matters, while Tala preferred taking up arms and handling things more directly. They tried to keep Spencer out of it, even though she often fought them on it. It was better to have at least one of them on the right side of the law.

This carefully orchestrated plan allowed for absolute neutrality in the city and prevented the worst scum from gaining too much power. The conversation came to a sudden halt as the door swung open, interrupting their animated talk. Startled, they briefly locked eyes before shifting their gaze away, realizing that their discussion would have to be saved for another time.

Julia, her face glowing with cheeriness, and Spencer, visibly exhausted, joined them in the living room bringing in the pan of soup marking one of the few changes that had occurred since Julia became a part of their lives. There was a time when they were constantly bickering, but Julia had come up with a brilliant solution – they should simply eat dinner together.

It didn't take long for her to realize that the turmoil of their lives and the irregular routines had rendered the household of three incredibly unstable and draining to deal with. And so, Julia introduced the concept of dinner time, and even in her absence, they faithfully honored it. Brian often found himself away at night, Tala had no concept of time, and there were days when he didn't even return home. Spencer's routine, too, revolved around the erratic schedule of the hospital. So whether it was 10 in the morning or 5 in the evening, they would gather around the table and share a meal.

They were rarely quiet during these dinners. Banter filled the air as if they were a raucous bunch. Brian, always the loudest, would complain about his patrons and regale them with strong, captivating stories. Occasionally, Spencer would share snippets of what he encountered during his rounds, but more often than not, he would lament about the overwhelming stack of studying he still had to tackle. Despite the noise and chaos, Tala cherished these peaceful moments. It felt right to have everyone – Julia included – occupying the same space.

As the evening progressed, Brian had long departed to open his doors for business. Now, he sat quietly on the edge of the sofa, his legs dangling over the side. Spencer, worn out from his day at the hospital, snored loudly on the other end. In the middle of the sofa sat Julia, completely engrossed in a Russian drama show with subtitles. She clutched a pillow tightly to her chest, her legs crossed, and a large towel wrapped around her hair. He couldn't quite understand her fascination with learning the language when she could have easily picked up English, but she insisted on doing so. In return, he had made an effort to learn Spanish, much to her annoyance. Surprisingly, he had mastered it in a matter of months.

On the opposite end of the sofa, Tala lounged with his feet propped up on the coffee table. With one hand, he lazily flipped through the pages of a book he was reading, while the other absentmindedly played with a strand of hair that had escaped from Julia's towel bun. Every now and then, he stole a glance in her direction, he still struggled with the concept of having a relationship, what to do, what to expect. Heck it was even the thing he considered to be loving actually what it was supposed to be. He knew damn well that he stood far away from society's norm and however it never bothered him when it came to Julia.

So why jump into it in the first place.. Julia had masterly slipped past his defenses with her fiery spirit and steadfast compassion. She saw the man beneath the scars, lure out a gentleness he thought lost. Her love anchored him in more ways than one. Even through the darkest of days a her call had brought him back on more than one occasion. She showed him ways to regain his balance, to roam around the world freely at his own accords. It was enough for him.. but did she feel the same way. He wasn't oblivious and knew her friends were getting married left and right, building homes. Was she really going to be content like this?

As if reading his mind she turned to face him, a high pitched questioning hmn from her full lips. She turned her head sideways as she looked into his azure blue eyes. "What are you thinking?" A question she had learned to drop from the get go. Instead her eyes went over the book and leaned in closer. "What are you reading?" She had a vague understanding now of cyrillic but some words just had to be made up on the spot.

"Classical mechanics," he replied, flipping another page in his book.

Julia raised an eyebrow, peering at the complex equations and diagrams on the pages. "That's some light bedtime reading," she teased.

A small smile tugged at Tala's lips. "I find it relaxing."

Julia leaned her head against his shoulder to get a better look at the book. For a moment, Tala tensed at the contact before forcing himself to relax.

Despite being together for quite some time now, he still found himself hesitant when Julia initiated innocent touches like this. It wasn't her fault - affection came naturally to her, as easy as breathing. It was his own struggle with casual intimacy that made him hesitate. But for her, he was trying.

As Julia skimmed the page, picking out odd words here and there, she stifled a yawn against his arm. "Sorry to interrupt your relaxation," she murmured after a moment. "I think I'll go to bed early tonight."

She began to pull away, but Tala caught her hand and interlocked their fingers loosely. Julia looked at him in surprise.

"Stay," he said simply.

Her expression softened and she settled back against him, her head resting comfortably on his shoulder.

"Okay," she whispered.

They sat quietly as Tala continued reading, the only sounds coming from the forgotten TV and Spencer's snores. But the silence between them was peaceful and content.

Eventually he closed the textbook and set it aside, realizing his focus had shifted completely to the feel of Julia's head on his shoulder and her hand clasped loosely in his. He never thought such simple contact could make him feel so at ease. With his free hand, Tala reached up and gently unwound the towel from her damp hair. chocolate-brown strands slid down in waves, carefully he combed his fingers through the strands, working out the kinks.

Julia gave a quiet hum of contentment, tilting her head into his hand like a cat seeking affection. Her eyes remained closed, her body languid and relaxed against him.

Watching her, Tala felt a surge of feeling in his heart that he couldn't quite pinpoint. All he knew was that he wanted to protect this woman at all costs. Slowly, he was untangling himself and facing the prospect of a future once again. And in all honesty, he was excited that she had decided to stay in Russia for a few more months until spring. Her presence made the entire BBA ordeal much more bearable too.

Julia's slow breathing told him she had drifted off. Careful not to wake her, Tala shifted and slid one arm under her knees, the other around her back. He lifted her easily and carried her sleeping form to the bedroom.

A/N

Special thanks to my proof reader Mkayverse

Poem: Raphael Lake – Slow farewell

Currently in the process of rewriting the story :) My apologies to the loyal readers but there was just too much plot holes, also between the first chapter and now it has been about a year and I learned so many new things in terms of writing. So.. please bear with it and I will promise to deliver the best version of this story!