Hey Guys sorry for long wait a lot has been going off, this is where the story will start to differ from the books/movies :)
The past few weeks turned into some sort of blur, Bella was the definition of a walking zombie, she didn't do anything, she went to school didn't really talk to anyone including myself and then came home and went to her room and barely left her bed, I had tried everything I could think of to help but nothing I was doing seemed to be helping, the nights were even worse, the screams echoed through the house, her nightmares turning into mine and dad's own personal nightmares, the strain was showing on all of us, dad looked older somehow, never seemed to laugh anymore, the bags under my eyes showed the lack of sleep, dad still had to work so I mainly stayed with Bella on the nights, trying to console her when she woke up screaming and crying.
I knew dad felt guilty not being able to do more and putting so much pressure on me but I always reassured him I was fine and we needed to focus on Bella, and to some extent I was fine, I had accepted the fact the Cullen's had left, I accepted that I had lost the love of my life, but I didn't have time to morn, but I had my moments when it all became too much for me to handle but I would wait until I was alone usually in the shower, it was only then I felt I could actually let my own emotions out.
It was a typical school day morning in the house, me and dad were sat at the kitchen dining table drinking coffee in silence as we both watched Bella push cereal around her bowl in her own little world, I honestly didn't know how much longer this could go on for,
"that's it! Bella! I'm sending you home" Dad said as he slammed his coffee mug down on the table, the action made me jump and I looked from dad to Bella to see her staring at dad in disbelief,
"I am home" Bella mumbled clearly confused,
"I'm sending you to Renee, to Jacksonville" dad clarified,
I watched dad stare at Bella with exasperation look as she slowly grasped the meaning of his words,
"What did I do?" Bella asked, I felt my own face crumple, did she really not see what everyone else saw? I glanced back at dad to see him scowling,
"You didn't do anything. That's the problem. You never do anything" dad said clearly letting out some of his pent up anger,
"You want me to get into trouble?" Bella said as she pulled her eyebrows together in confusion, I sighed to myself and sank back further into the chair,
"Trouble would be better than this… this moping around all the time!" Dad said raising his hands to make his point,
"I am not moping around" Bella said glumly back,
"Wrong word, moping would be better, that would be doing something, you're just… lifeless, Bella. I think that's the word I want, everyone can see it" dad said his words softening a bit towards the end,
"I'm sorry, Dad." Bella said quietly, even her apology sounded a little flat, even to me,
"I don't want you to apologize" dad clarified to her,
"then tell me what you do want me to do" Bella asked him staring right at him,
"Bella" I warned, but my warning fell on deaf ears,
"Honey, you're not the first person to go through this kind of thing, you know, you're not even the only person in this room that's going through the same thing" Dad said softly and glanced at me a little,
"I know that." Bella said but her accompanying grimace was limp and unimpressive,
"Listen, honey. I think that maybe you need some help." Dad said carefully,
"Help?" Bella accused, dad seem to paused, searching for the words again.
"When your mother left, and took you and your sister with her." He started to say before stopping and inhaling deeply, I looked down at the table, the situation making me feel uncomfortable,
"Well, that was a really bad time for me." Dad finished,
"I know, Dad," Bella mumbled,
"But I handled it, honey, you're not handling it" dad said, I waited hoping it would get better but Bella just looked down quickly,
"I think we both know it's not getting better" Dad said softly,
"I'm fine" Bella mumbled,
"ye right" I said under my breathe, Bella turned and frowned at me, dad just ignored me, and kept his eyes on Bella,
"Maybe, well, maybe if you talked to someone about it. A professional" dad said careful,
"You want me to see a shrink?" Bella's voice was a shade sharper than I think she meant it when she realized what he was getting at,
"Maybe it would help" I said softly, trying to back my dad up,
"And maybe it wouldn't help one little bit" Bella snapped at me, I cast my gaze down again,
"It's beyond me, Bella. Maybe your mother" dad started to say, but Bella cut him off,
"Look, I'll go out tonight, if you want. I'll call Jess or Angela" Bella said in a flat voice,
"That's not what I want, I don't think I can live through seeing you try harder, I've never seen anyone trying so hard. It hurts to watch" dad argued, clearly frustrated
"I don't understand, Dad. First you're mad because I'm not doing anything, and then you say you don't want me to go out" Bella argued back,
"I want you to be happy, in fact no, not even that much. I just want you not to be miserable. I think you'll have a better chance if you get out of Forks, maybe even be good for both of you" dad said softly, I snapped my eyes up, me? I was fine, I was finding a way to cope, this was about Bella,
"I'm not leaving" Bella said her voice hard,
"Why not?" dad demanded,
"I'm in my last semester of school and that would screw everything up for me" Bella argued,
"You're a good student Bella, you'll figure it out" dad argued back,
"I don't want to crowd Mom and Phil" Bella said trying to find an excuse, although even I knew this was a weak one,
"Your mother's been dying to have you back" dad said,
"Florida is too hot" Bella said not backing down, dad's fist came down on the table again, making me jump again,
"We both know what's really going on here, Bella, and it's not good for you, It's been weeks. No calls, no letters, no contact. You can't keep waiting for him" dad said then took a deep breath, I held me breathe looking at Bella as I tried to read her emotions,
"I'm not waiting for anything. I don't expect anything" Bella said in a low monotone voice,
"Bella" dad began, his voice thick, but was quickly cut off,
"I have to get to school" Bella interrupted, standing up and yanking her untouched breakfast from the table, I watched as she dumped her bowl in the sink without pausing to wash it out, and went to walk out of the room,
"I'll make plans with Jessica" Bella called over her shoulder as she strapped on her school bag, not meeting dad's eyes once,
"Maybe I won't be home for dinner. We'll go to Port Angeles and watch a movie" Bella said and then stormed out of the front door before he could react,
"well that went well" I mumbled mainly to myself, Dad suddenly got up and almost threw his cup in the sink.
"not helping Liliana" dad snapped and stormed out of the room, I sighed to myself,
"guess I'll make my own way to school then" I mumbled, seeing as if both of them had forgot about me.
By the time I arrived at school the drizzle had turned into a full rain storm, I clutched my coat closer to body, hoping it would warm my frozen body up even a little, I stood by the entrance to school silently watching Bella sat in her truck, I was lost, I didn't know what to do anymore, how was I supposed to help save Bella from herself?
I spent the whole day watching as Bella, the school day passing in a blur, now back at home I watched as she was pulling clothes from her wardrobe, somehow she had even managed to convince Jessica to go to the movies with her,
"this?" Bella asked as she turned and showed me a simple top, I gave her a small smile and nodded, she spun back round to face her mirror,
"I'm sorry about this morning by the way, I just…" Bella started to say, I slowly walked behind her and placed my hand on her shoulder,
"hey, it's fine, I'm just happy your doing something, you were really starting to scare me" I said quietly, she frowned,
"sorry. . . and I know I've been selfish, you lost them too and I couldn't see that" Bella whispered almost ashamed, I gave her another little smile,
"hey now, I'm fine and I always will be, now go on and be careful don't be doing something stupid while I'm not there, and no before you ask I don't want to come, I'm off down to the res" I teased as I passed her coat, she smiled and nodded, I watched as Bella left in Jessica's car before I grabbed the truck keys and headed down to the Res.
I parked the truck and grabbed my coat before getting out, quickly wrapping my body within the warmth of the coat, I glanced down the empty beach and started walking, I found a washed up log and sat down watching as the waves crashed against the shore, taking a deep breath I let me mind wander to the place I tried to block out, I missed them, I missed Esme; the second motherlike figure to me, Carlise; the devoted doctor, Jasper and Alice the siblings I never knew I had, Lucas; the jokester, Rose; the closest thing I had to a best friend, I sighed again, I couldn't deny I missed them but also there was a level of hatred towards them especially Edward, he had broke Bella's world into a million pieces and shattered her heart, and Emmett. Emmett the one who I truly gave everything to all for him to shatter my world and just leave without a second thought, my mind always fought with itself, the love I knew would never leave and he would always hold a piece of my heart, but I knew I would struggle to ever trust another man again with my heart due to his carelessness.
"Liliana Swan right?" a voice said from behind me, I jumped and quickly got to my feet and spun round,
"Paul right? You were with Sam that night my sister was missing?" I asked carefully, hoping I had remembered his name, he nodded,
"yep I'm Paul Lathote, sorry I didn't mean to make you jump" he apologized as he rubbed the back of his head, I gave a small smile, before suddenly realising,
"you do realise it's like minus two out here and you're in shorts?" I asked kind or worried and confused,
"I'm hot blooded" was his simply answer, I nodded slowly,
"your mental" I stated, looking at his outfit made myself feel even colder,
"so what you doing down on the res?" he asked leaning against the log at the side of me,
"needed a change of scenery, I always found this place calming and peaceful, lets me think" I explained as I sat back down on the log,
"may I?" he asked pointing the space beside me,
"of course, I don't own the beach" I said smiling, I watched as he chuckled and sat at the side of me,
"so how's your sister?" he asked, I glanced at him before returning my gaze to the ocean,
"she's doing…better, I hope anyway" I answered,
"good…and how are you? I know Billy said you were close to the blood… I mean the Cullens" Paul asked, I glanced at his confused, what was he going to call them?
"I'm doing okay, just worried over Bella, she's not good with change" I said figuring this was the easier explanation,
"least she is safe" Paul said simply, I looked at him confused, there was clearly a double meaning behind this, even though I was beyond angry with the Cullens I knew she was never in any danger,
"she was never in danger" I said sharply, I saw his arm twitch,
"guess we will just have to disagree on that" he said sharply back,
"guess we will Paul, although you shouldn't judge someone on their kind, you should know that" I said simply as I watched his reaction, panic to confusion,
"you know?" he asked surprised, I laughed a little,
"please Paul, I'm young but not dumb" I said and glanced back at the ocean,
"how did you? When did you?" he said quickly, I guessing trying to figure things out,
"well to be honest, I didn't fully know until you just basically confirmed it, but I had a feeling with your feeling towards the Cullen's and the legends, I've quickly learnt anything is possible here, so come on is it the full moon or whenever?" I asked turning to him,
"your smart, I like that, and no it's liked to our emotions is how I got explained" Paul said glancing round, I looked around, there was still no one here,
"so I'm guessing you, Sam and the others that were there that night?" I asked, Paul nodded,
"yep Sam's the leader, followed by Jared, me and recently Embry and now were waiting for Jacob, Billy says it should be soon, I shouldn't be telling you all this" Paul said as if he confused on why he was telling me this, I smiled,
"oh come on who am I going to tell? My only friends were vampires who skipped town" I joked and saw a small smile come across his face,
"blood-suckers are bad company to keep, you should meet to the pack, much better and not as much danger to your life" he joked, I smiled a little,
"I might have to take you up on that sometime, I better get going, Bella will be home soon and my dad will wonder where I am" I explained and stood up,
"well until next time Ana" Paul said standing too, Ana? That's a new one, I smiled,
"see you later hot head" I joked, Paul walked me back to the truck and watched till I couldn't see him anymore, I smiled as I drove home, maybe he was right, maybe I could find some sense of normality again.
Dad was already home and watching football when I arrived home,
"where you been kid? Where's Bella?" dad asked me, I sat down across from him glancing at the score,
"been down on the res, met a new friend Paul, he's one that helped find Bella and she's gone to the movies with Jess from school" I explained grabbing a crisp out of the bowl in front of him,
"well that's good and Liliana? I'm glad your making friends" Dad said, I smiled not knowing what to say, me and dad watched the game in silence until Bella returned,
"Did you have fun?" dad asked Bella as me and him stayed sat on the sofa,
"Sure, we watched zombies eat people. It was great" Bella said quite sarcastic, I watched as dad's eyes narrowed, but before he had time to reply Bella said a quick goodbye and headed upstairs,
"what are we going to do with her?" dad grumbled as he turned to me, I laughed a little,
"at least she went out" I said and shrugged a little, dad nodded,
"very true, thank god you're the easy twin Liliana" dad joked and turned his attention back to the football on the tv, I laughed knowing he actually meant it, but the truth was even though no one saw It I was really struggling but at least I could see a little light at the end after today.