"You want me to what?"
It was not but 20 minutes after being dismissed to her quarters that Pangaere appeared at her door. She was not particularly pleased to see him. More wary. But whatever he needed was urgent.
It was about the crew. Keeping them safe. He had an offer believed to help, so naturally, she listened.
A marriage proposal was far from her list of expected solutions.
Pangaere fidgeted before speaking up again, "I asked if you would-"
"No, I heard ya the first time. I just- how exactly is this supposed to help?"
"For one, it will guarantee your safety. Few would dare harm a commander's mate, much less one of an esteemed house as mine. For two, a commanding officer agreeing to such an arraignment, especially in this situation, would cast the more agreeable members in a favorable light. Not entirely positive, but fairer. If a commanding officer is willing to see past hostilities, what does that say of their subordinates?"
Eleanora crossed her arms, able to see some of the logic, "Why exactly can't you just let us go, again?"
"Paranoia," he sighed, "It would be a show of weakness for some. A reckless move for others. For you saw too much for their liking. And for many, particularly our Praetor, this situation would justify war... Our Praetor would also be enraged at our failure to secure a Federation vessel."
"Your Praetor doesn't sound particularly pleasant."
"No. She is a madwoman by all accounts. But our portion is obedience...or death."
Or a fate far, far worse... He picked at the false claws of his gloves, resisting the urge to bite them. A habit his brothers often chastised him for. Taking in the belongings decorating Eleanora's room, Pangaere felt his mood sink further.
Things he assumed were reminders of home. Others personal taste. Curiosity about her home nagged at him.
The family photo stabbed him in the heart.
Eleanora followed his gaze and carefully steadied her breathing. "I'm never going to see them again, am I?"
She already knew the answer.
"No. I-"
"Don't. Just... How long do we have before we reach Romulus?"
"16 hours."
16 hours until our lives are decided for us... I suppose it was sealed anyway... The photo was a holophoto. A short, looping, snapshot of the moment. All of them, laughing, smiling. Her father regarding them all fondly, proudly.
Her throat burned. She refused to cry in front of Pangaere but her body shook in protest.
For his part, he stayed silent, staring elsewhere.
I can't just let them die if I have a choice but... "How long would you allow me to consider your offer?"
"Preferably 6 to 10 hours. I am aware that is little, but the Senate will need time to comprehend it." My brother especially... Toran will not be pleased... He licked his lips, "I have witnessed how the Senate can be. It is best we are not caught in its chaos."
Eleanora sighed, not for the first time silently cursing the Zontak. These were terrible circumstances, that much was obvious. This option, while not great, beat everyone getting killed. "What exactly will happen to the crew?"
"I will not deny some will be executed. I can do little there. But my family holds sway, we can try to secure a life on Romulus for the others. However, I cannot guarantee the best outcome for all."
"Not very comforting."
"No. I wish I could do more."
She pressed her lips together. The weighing in her mind almost dizzying. Nails risked puncturing holes in her uniform. Nothing felt right. The different paths that could come from this deal...
"I will leave you to consider. I must see to it that my crew does not harm anyone or the ship. Call for me when you make a decision."
He hesitated by the door, casting a glance back before finally leaving.
The silence was heavy, Eleanora collapsed onto her bed. Once more staring down at the holophoto, she could deny her tears no longer.
It did not take long for her to decide. Merely 2 hours. Uncertainty was not promising, but if choosing to live paved the way for hope, was it not the better option? What good could they do dead?
Perhaps it was foolish. Pangaere told her enough to know how difficult Romulus' government was. But even small, slow progress was progress.
If she came to regret this, so be it.
"Are you certain you wish to go through with this?" Pangaere's gaze was hard, though not cold. The fidgeting absent.
"Wouldn't have called you otherwise. I cannot let these people die."
"Life on Romulus is not easy."
"Can still make somethin' outta of a rough life. Bein' dead won't help anyone."
A small smile briefly graced his features, "I suppose so." Exhaling, he stood straighter, "I am relieved. There was little point in so much death. And..." He trailed off, seeming fascinated by his hands. A bit of green dusted his face. "I admire your fire in this situation. It will go a long way."
Eleanora crossed her arms again, "Ya know, if I didn't know any better, I'd say you've been flirting with me this whole time."
The green deepened. "I won't deny it. But I could not confess to anything as I knew you would have preferred to return home as I would. I only wish the circumstances were different..."
If only. Whether she would have dated him under better conditions... Well, it did not matter now, did it? "What happens now?"
"Now, I need you to join me. We're both required to make this official. To inform our crews...and the Senate. I will not let harm befall you."
"I'll make sure none stab you in the back either. Lead the way."
The hours following were beyond tiring. Eleanora felt drained. First, the looks she got after making that deal. The CMO and Dala were barely understanding, S'Niir and Yvett were expectedly pissed. Most of the crew would never hear the whole story.
The Romulans were...many were mocking. Others curious. Pangaere made sure the more unpleasant ones kept quiet. Very few understood.
Keras and T'Auethn, as she had come to know their names, were among them. Keras was pleasant, T'Auethn was...cool at best. Granted, he seemed more concerned with his brother's safety.
Keras and Pangaere brought her up on what she needed to know. At least, what they could in that time. Much of the Gryphon crew were also sent needed information.
None of it made the hearing any less stressful. She would likely be seen as a traitor to the crew for a long time.
The words S'Niir directed at her.
It hurt. But she knew the risks.
She doubted any sleep would come that night.
During the hearing, she caught the eye of a senator with similar striking blue eyes as Pangaere and T'Auethn. His expression near unreadable but half-irritated. The brothers, too, locked eyes with him on multiple occasion. Did they know him?
It did not matter. She merely wanted this to end.
A wave of calm coursed through her. Willing her to relax. Pangaere's hand, now free of the taloned gloves, rested on her upper back. Trying to assure her this trail would conclude shortly.
She tried to mentally lean into the sensation, before anxiety completely consumed her.
The Duvek manor was...large. No doubt with many rooms and halls to get lost in. Ghosts of expectations thickening the air.
As if things weren't already overwhelming.
Her weariness must had shown as Pangaere grabbed her hand. That strange soothing sensation washing over her once more.
"Come, I'm sure you wish to rest now. Your personal items will be waiting for when you wake."
The room was spacious. A large bed sat in the middle. Made and cleaned. The room itself carefully maintained. Likely thanks to the servants running around. A few drawers were pushed up against the walls, decorated with items Eleanora's tired brain did not allow her to take in.
Pangaere instructed the following servant to put her bags in the walk-in closet. "Khnai'ru rhissiuy. Khia thei'yytaera." The servant bowed and left. "This is where you will sleep. It was my room. Now ours. I will ensure you are not bothered while you rest. I do have to leave, however, so don't be afraid to call on one of the servants should you need something."
"Right," Yet more to adjust to, "I s'pose ya still have the Gryphon to deal with?"
"Unfortunately, yes. I have to oversee some of it."
She didn't have to ask which parts. Did not want to. She wanted him to leave.
He shifted, almost knowingly. "I must go now. Rest well." He hesitated, wanting to say more, but thought better of it. Bowing, he left Eleanora alone.
A breath escaped her. Everything felt heavy. Shaking, she grasped the pillars of the bed, barely getting her shoes off before collapsing onto it. Not a care about her uniform.
The sheets vaguely smelt of him. A continuing reminder.
She'd likely never know what happened to the crew. Only hope.
And her family would never know what happened to her.
For the second time that week she mourned.
The house was quiet. The windows dark. Eleanora was not sure when she fell asleep, but her head ached. Weariness still weighted heavy. Slow, she slid off the bed, and nearly tripped over her shoes as she fumbled through the dark.
"Shit. Lights!"
Silence. Right, it didn't understand her.
It was not pitch black. Light from one or both moons trickled through the dimmed window, and a faintly glowing statue of...some Romulan animal made it decently easy to adjust to the dark.
Three doors. The closet and main door already known. The other must be a bathroom... Thankfully, the door had both sensors and a backup switch. And the third door was, in fact, a bathroom.
The vanity's lights were active. Soft enough to see but not strain. Enough to see herself.
Hair barely washed mimicked a bird's nest. Eyes showed naught but exhaustion and loss. Streaking stains of spilt tears...
That did not touch on the uniform she fell asleep in.
She looked as horrible as she felt.
Eleanora contemplated going back to bed. Even then, it would do little good to ruin her uniform further - as if that was any use to her now. Regardless, it was still dirtied from the Zontak incident. Maybe she could request to keep it as memory...
The closet did not have sensors, but the switch was familiar. It even had a lock! A tad strange. For safety? It didn't matter.
The internal lights were useful. Fortunately set to 50%. Illuminating some of Pangaere's room without blinding her.
Her bags sat near the door. There were only two. Clothes, toiletries, and the few personal items she took from the Gryphon.
Let's hope the temperature settings to the shower ain't too confusin'...
Civilian Earth clothes might not be the most suited for wandering a Romulan manor, but they were certainly better than a bloodied and charred uniform. Or even the black undershirt.
And she did not exactly feel comfortable wearing one of Pangaere's many blue robes.
Whatever the case, it was presentable. If anyone was even up at this hour.
There were nightlights along the hall. Guiding, but Eleanora was not quite sure where she even wanted to go. The living area or the kitchen, wherever they were... Or merely find someone - likely a servant.
Something pressed against her leg. She swore, about jumping out of her skin, and the thing skittered back.
Curious orange eyes blinked at her. The creature resembled a giant lizard, albeit one with the stature of a bulldog.
Just a pet, she assumed. Hoped. "Startled me there..." An awkward chuckle left her.
The lizard-dog thing titled its head and slowly moved toward her again. A forked tongue flicked out.
Holding still, Eleanora tried to determine more about the creature. With barely any light, she couldn't quite tell if it was green or blue. It appeared to have spines along its back, a head crest, and a long tail - a bit like a chameleon and an iguana.
More so, it seemed friendly. Once it was satisfied with its investigation.
"Just makin' sure I was no threat, weren't ya?" She held out a hand, to which the creature flicked its tongue at, then pressed its snout into the palm. Eleanora smiled, scratching under its chin. "Just like our dogs... Are ye Pangaere's or T'Auethn's?"
Its head tilted at the names. Almost expectantly.
"I suppose I'll figure that out later. Do ya know where the livin' room or the kitchen is?"
Another blink.
"Right. Ya probably understand me less than the computers..." With a sigh, she stood. "I just need to-" A familiar, painful, growl interrupted her. Reminding her of the time it had been since she last ate.
That she even had an appetite was surprising...
The lizard-dog perked up. It chuffed, pattering ahead, only to look back at her as if to ask if she was following.
Well, was one way to figure out where to go. "Alright, lead the way, I guess."
She vaguely recalled the stairs they descended. Only then she wondered how many floors the manor had. At least the bedrooms were on the second floor...
The lizard-dog led her to the dining room. A faint light and voices leaked out of a door on the other end.
Were some of the servants awake?
The lizard-dog poked the door open, lowly groaning in announcement.
"Ah! Rhaaer!" The servant froze seeing Eleanora. He fumbled for words. "Oh, ah, Ahr'aihun s'Pangaere nnaerh! Narihu Eleanora nnaerh, daie?"
"Um, I don't speak Romulan?"
"Rii dochaikhe Rihan, veruul! Ahr'Terrhaha rii, flaihh-difv hwi?" The second servant snapped at the first, then smiled at her. "Very sorry. We are not...ah, used to Humans." She said, struggling with the words. "I am Illaehi. That is Mae'el, my twin. You are Eleanora, yes?" The twins were nearly identical in all but gender. Both with light brown hair in the bowl-cut style - Mae'el's came down to his jaw while Illaehi's was half-way down her neck - and dark brown eyes.
"That's right." She nodded, questioning if these two were cooks, "A pleasure."
"The pleasure is ours." Mae'el bowed, Illaehi following suit. "We see Rhaaer found you? She was no trouble?"
"Other than givin' me a bit of a scare, not at all." Eleanora was disquieted by the bows, but choose to ignore it for the time, "Helped me find the kitchen."
"That is good. She know the manor." Mae'el smiled, "You require something? Food? Drink?"
"I don't really-" Her stomach cut off her lie before it could come. Her faced warmed, "Ah, well, I might be a bit hungry. It has been a while since..."
She trailed off, the twins nodded.
"We are aware."
"Would you like anything in specific?"
"Well, I ain't exactly familiar with Romulan cuisine. Got any recommendations?"
The twins shared a glance, quickly whispering in Rihan, before nodding. "Seafood?"
"It is to your liking?"
Eleanora nodded after slowly tasting the seafood soup. It was creamy. Consisting of mostly shellfish. "This is lovely. Thank you." She smiled small at the twins who watched from the kitchen door.
They bowed, relieved. "Our pleasure!"
They remained standing. After a few more bites, Eleanora felt discomforted by their watching. "Are y'all just gonna stand there or do ya want ta sit?"
Illaehi and Mae'el shared a confused look. "Would you like us to join you?"
"It beats y'all just standin' there and starin' at me. Besides, some company is nice. Perhaps y'all can tell me a thing or two about this house?"
"Yes, of course!"
"We will tell all we know!"
"Would you like specific start?"
They sat across from her, eager to please. She realized how young they looked, even for Romulans. They weren't children. But she suspected they were at least young adults. How long had they worked for the Duveks? She decide to hold the question until further in. "Who all lives here? Surely it ain't just Pangaere, T'Auethn, and yourselves?"
"Oh, no! There are more, if you count servants."
"Why wouldn't I?"
"Few of us "live" here." Illaehi explained, "Mae'el and I do. Hru'hfirh Toran took us in long ago."
"Hru'hfirh Toran is oldest of the brothers. He owns the Hfihar. Or..."House" if I am correct?"
"Houseclans", Pangaere had managed to bring her up to speed on that much. "I believe so. Where is Hru'hfirh Toran exactly?" She stumbled with the word, unsure what it even meant.
"He is still with the Senate, to our knowledge. May be some time before he returns."
"Is he a Senator?"
"Daie."
"I assume the other two are still there, too?"
"We believe so. It been hours since last update."
Eleanora chewed at her lip. Trying not to dwell on what was happening, she turned to other matters. "Do the brothers have any other family?"
"They are of few remaining. At least here. T'Res lives away from manor and has little contact. We don't know why."
"The Duvek family is getting smaller. But it does not trouble them much. It may still grow."
An odd contrast to the McCoy family. It caused a thought to strike her: did Pangaere want kids? The thought of raising children had crossed her mind in the past, it enticed her though it never felt urgent.
Besides, few of any gender really struck her fancy.
Could Romulans and Humans even have children? Did she even want to try? She barely even wanted to be around Pangaere at that moment.
She doubted he would force her. Thankfully. But the questions remained.
Something must had shown, as Illaehi and Mae'el frowned in concern. She inhaled, mentally shaking away the thoughts.
"How many other servants are here currently?"
"Us and 5 others. Why? Have we offended you?"
"No, no! Just, curious is all. Y'all have been wonderful so far." She assured, to which they gave relieved grins. "Y'all said Toran took you in long ago? How long have y'all been if ya don't mind me askin'?"
Illaehi and Mae'el were once street rats. Taken in after Toran caught them digging through someone's garbage. They weren't sure why. Only that it was best case scenario. High-ranking Romulans normally did not take kindly to even "their" garbage being "stolen".
Most servants of the Duvek House were either from smaller Houseclans under the Duveks' protection, looking for favor, or generally from the provinces Toran controlled as Senator. Illaehi and Mae'el fell under the last.
"Hru'hfirh Toran is fair. Irritable. Protective. We feel safe."
"Helped me change." Illaehi piped up, gesturing to her chest.
Eleanora blinked, "Change? You mean like-"
"Mae'el and I were once completely identical. Now I am correct."
"Ah, I see." Eleanora nodded with a smiled. "Nice of him to help ya."
Speaking with the twins, learning more about the House, of Romulus, made Eleanora relax further. Concerns lingered. But she was more prepared.
The twins' knowledge of the House, while helpful, was limited. They encouraged asking Toran, T'Auethn, and Pangaere. More so recommended Toran for it and Romulus.
Eleanora followed the twins as they gave a tour of the House. Barring off limit areas.
She was half-tempted to ask for a map...
Apparently, someone in the family had an affinity for portraits. Almost every family member, past and present, had at least one. Even for Rhaaer and some of the servants.
Three portraits stood out to her. Pangaere's and T'Authen's, and the senator from the trails who caught her eye...Toran. Same piercing blue eyes, same blue robes, same eagle-headed staff.
She could see how he was Head-of-House. He had an intimidating air. Somehow what was learned added to it.
The Duvek House's brand...a giant winged eye that stared down upon all... Chills ran up Eleanora's spine.
Could she even live up to this House?
The tour was cut short upon noticing how the House overwhelmed Eleanora. They had returned to the living area. The twins suggested a word game, trading Rihan and English words.
Rhaaer laid by Eleanora's side. The set'leth took to her quite well. Rhaaer was also the brothers', though tended to favor Toran, according to Mae'el. Equally as protective of the House.
Eleanora absentmindedly stroked Rhaaer's scales, giggling lightly at a joke and accompanying face Illaehi made.
The door to the manor opened. The twins jumped up as the person announced their return.
"Hru'hfirh Toran!" Was all Illaehi needed to say for Eleanora to stand.
"He's back already?"
Eleanora followed the twins - and Rhaaer - to the foyer.
Toran's eyes immediately locked with hers. A similar, near unreadable, expression on his face as he approached, taking in her appearance. She couldn't help but stand straighter, an odd bit of resolution washing over her despite her nerves.
"You are the Human my brother asked to wed. Eleanora McCoy, was it?"
"That's right. Ya must be Toran, if I'm not mistaken?"
"That is correct." He cast a glance toward Mae'el and Illaehi, who stood in respectful silence. Then to Rhaaer, who perked up at the brief attention. "You've been becoming accustom to the manor then."
It was not a question. Still she nodded.
A beat of silence passed, both observed each other. What Toran was looking for exactly, she did not know. She used the moment to take in more of his appearance. A scar ran down the left side of his ridges, ending just before the upper tip of his eyebrow. He held his staff to his left, as well, and seemed to put weight on his right leg.
His robes were the same from the portrait. Blue with white accents around the hanging sleeves and from the collar to where the robe ended at his knees, though it tailed to halfway down his calves. A wide white belt sat snugly around his middle. A seemly plain black turtle neck and plain white pants shown underneath.
Certainly gave him a regal air. Eleanora couldn't say much about her own outfit: plain brown pants, burgundy shirt with a brown coat over top. Casual but presentable.
Toran nodded to himself, then dismissed the twins. He beckoned her to follow. "Come. Much needs discussing. It is best we do so privately."
"Lead the way."
Toran's office was not far off from the foyer. Merely on the second floor as with the bedrooms. Given the limp, no doubt it was for convince.
The office itself was rather spacious. Tidally kept. Combination shelf-drawers covered the back wall. Two more were pushed against the side walls. Residing on the shelves were majorly books and PADDS, though other objects decorated their surfaces. A few holophotos and portraits hung on the walls, along with what Eleanora assumed were traditional Romulan melee weapons.
Toran gestured to a seat in front of his desk, "Have a seat."
She sat down, watching him do the same.
"I have many questions for you, as I'm certain you do for me."
She nodded, straight to the point then. "Yes. Go on."
"I will not dawdle. Hearing my brother planned to wed a Human was shock enough. I am aware of your deal. I want to ensure you understand it."
"I marry Pangaere in hopes of ensurin' the crew's safety. With the knowledge none of us are returnin' to the Federation."
That was the basis of it, anyway.
"Understand there is little for a Human to gain on Romulus. Especially one of your alignment... Which bring me to another point." He sat up, hands folded in front of him, "You are not of the Federation, nor Starfleet. As of this day moving forward, you are of the Romulan Star Empire. Of the Duvek House. Whatever your feelings on the matter - whatever you decide to do, should be for the Empire and this House."
Despite knowing well this was fact, the terms of the deal, with Pangaere even insinuating such, it did not ease the sting of those words. The blunt way Toran laid them out... Eleanora's jaw set.
Still she could not get angry, not there, especially not at Toran.
Stiffly, she nodded, "I understand."
"I do not tell you this out of coldness," He said, taking on a softer tone, though not by much. "There are many who would wish to do you harm for your background. Trying to remain attached to your Starfleet pride will only invite such - both to you and us. My House's and position's protections only extend so far. Understand, as well, I will do whatever necessary to protect my family."
She swallowed, letting her shoulders drop. "I agreed to this arraignment to save lives, I won't put Pangaere's, or anyone here's, at risk."
"Do I have your word?"
"Yes."
"Good." Satisfied, Toran leaned back, moving his hands to his lap. "Now... We have much to do. For one, you will require more appropriate attire."
"Are they gonin' ta be blue, too?" Fell out before she could think. Getting snarky was not what she wanted to do at that moment.
Unexpectedly, Toran grinned. "I take it you noticed? Yes, your robes will be blue. It is the family color."
"Has it always been that way?"
"Mostly. There were some deviations from Duveks past. Still, blue is one of the more consistent things in my Houseclan's history. It cannot be blamed...it is rather soothing on the eyes."
That it was. Eleanora supposed this was not the first time she had heard of or encountered those with a "family color" of sorts. A few from Earth's past. A handful of alien species... One in particular was strict about it.
"You will not always have to wear blue robes, there will be situations that call for different. They will merely make up most of your wardrobe. For most occasions."
She cannot say she was fond of this stricter dress-code. "Includin' casual?"
"Yes. Not what you're used to, I know, but you will have to adapt."
She could adapt to it, yes, but it was not pleasant to lose that freedom. "And what exactly will happen to what I did bring?" She gestured at herself.
Toran sighed deeply, sitting straighter, "You may keep them... Including your old uniform, if you so wish," He made a face, not caring for the thought of a Starfleet uniform residing in his home. "But you will not wear them. Cannot wear them. Sicking out in such a matter...it would invite dangers. In fact, I insist your old uniform remain completely hidden if you do keep it."
It was not an unreasonable request. If Romulus could be that dangerous, where an old uniform poses the risk of accusations... Where even simple Human clothes carried whispers of treason...
"If things are that paranoid..." She muttered, not intending to think out loud.
"Unfortunately." Toran responded, "And worse things beyond that. Caution is needed in these matters, Eleanora."
While not the first time he spoke her name, the stern sympathetic way he said it... He was not reveling in this any more than she was.
Slowly she breathed in, needing to ask, "Toran, do you know what has...what will happened to the rest of the crew?"
"Some have been given the Committee's blessing to live on Romulus. Others on core worlds...including Remus. Life will be harsh - hellish on Remus especially." He paused, grinding his fangs, allowing the information to sink in while considering the rest. "Many have be sentenced to, even choosing, death. Your captain and first officer among those sentenced, for their participation in encouraging resistance and attempt to destroy the Gryphon. Pangaere will carry out theirs among others."
Even choosing, the knowledge many chose death cut deepest. Many more would likely die, if hellish meant as she thought. With uncertainty surround the others. All the while, she got a comfortable home. It made her feel sick.
All made worse knowing Pangaere was going to execute them. Even if it made sense.
Even if he might hate his role.
What was done was done. She could not change their fates, not more than she had. "Some might still make it." She could grasp that silver thread. No matter how uncertain.
She had to live for them as well.
Toran hummed, "If they play their cards right. They could very well become naturalized citizens of the Empire. But they are to shed ties with old loyalties just as you must."
"I'm assumin' there is more to citizenship than just that?"
"Observing our culture, learning our language... Educators will aid them. I am to teach you."
"Not Pangaere...?"
"Oh, he will help, when he's around. As will T'Auethn. But they have their duties to preform offworld. They are not home as often as I. When I'm not..." Calloused fingers tapped on the armrest, "We have our resources. If I need to drag you to the Senate with me, I shall, but I believe our servants and clan Advisor will do for the majority." Possibly other family and family-friends as well, depending on how they got on with Eleanora.
"Alright," That all sounded reasonable to her. "There anything else I need to know. Like, this arraignment between your brother and I, how is-"
"I am to finalize it." Toran said, "He has already given me the contract you both signed. All it needs now is my blessing as Head-of-House."
"That's it?"
"No ceremony. This is not your usual arraignment, now is it?" He huffed a mirthless laugh, "Besides, you both made enough of a show. I am sure the stress of all that has happened is quite enough, is it not?"
That it was. She felt relieved it would be kept simple. Anything more would make her feel on display. Unwanted attention from judging eyes... "Ya don't see me disgreein' there."
"Now, with that settled... I would like to know exactly what you've been told about Romulus thus far. So that I can fill in the rest."
Toran was, by all accounts, intimidating at first glance. Carrying with him an air of pride and seriousness. Not to mention the staff of his - Eleanora had no doubt he had thwacked people with it before and had no qualms doing so again.
Past that demeanor was someone who cared deeply about family and was all too aware of the dangers posed by their society. He wasn't unpleasant to talk with. He was thorough in explaining Romulus to her. Equally so in explaining his family.
She found herself following him down the same hall with all the portraits. Listening to his tales about each one. Apparently, she, too, was to get one.
If it were not for the fact these portrait were traditionally done, she might had felt less apprehensive.
But she could tell this was not a topic up for argument.
It was not long before Toran noticed the exhaustion creeping back in and suggested she get proper rest.
She didn't argue with that either.
Two days past since the discussion with Toran. Two days of preparing for life on Romulus. Two, very tiring, days.
Eleanora was grateful for Toran's help. He was patient with her, although stern in some regards. Ensuring she could live relatively safe.
A few new robes hung in the shared closet. One of them clung to her form. It was comfortably loose. Accented with green and white.
She had chosen to let her Earth clothes go, including her old uniform. It was bloodied and scorched beyond repair. The delta, engraved with her name, was all that remained of it.
Toran, though sympathetic, was pleased with that decision. Claiming it was the right call.
Pangaere also returned that day.
A servant brought him to the manor's library, where Toran had been running Eleanora through the Romulan language.
Exhaustion was etched into his face. Melancholic air surrounded him. It seemed to grow thicker upon spotting Eleanora. By the way Toran frowned, he, too, caught on.
Toran asked Pangaere something in Rihan. She heard T'Auethn's name and the questioning tone. Pangaere responded, something to do with Keras.
Toran beckoned him over, "Come. If you wish to help your new mate settle in, now's your chance. You can aid in this."
Slowly, stiffly, Pangaere approached, at first to sit across from her. Not having it, Toran silently demanded he sit next to her with a point. So, he did. A tense air settled between them. Eleanora tried not to show it. Resisting the urge to bite her lip.
Clearing his throat, he made note of the material. "You are learning Rihan, yes? How are you taking to it?"
"Slowly but surely. Toran's been helpin' me with this the last few days."
"Ah, well, I'm sure he has been a very good teacher in all things ch'Rihan."
"Very."
Watching them carefully, Toran spoke up, "Perks of being a senator, I'd say. She is at a steady pace. One I've no doubt will pick up...should she not be distracted." With a pointed look toward his brother and resignation that this tense atmosphere was to be the norm, he continued the lesson. "We just going over grammar and formality."
The session took longer than previous. Pangaere tried to help ease Eleanora's nerves by making light jokes and attempts at encouragement, but, even out of uniform, he only seemed to exacerbate the problem. This was not without Eleanora making an effort to ease up, but with the knowledge of her crew, that felt impossible. The close proximity not helping.
On more than one occasion, Toran considered sending his brother away. At the same time, however, he debated leaving them alone. Let them deal with their emotions. Callous on the outside but...Toran believed it would do them good.
They would need to face each other eventually.
He chose to end the lesson early. Claiming fatigue.
Eleanora made to leave after Toran, "Wait! Please." she stopped, jaw set as she faced Pangaere.
"Yes?"
Swallowing the urge to fidget, to look away, he took a step forward, "I...understand you desire away from me, a-and I will not keep you hear long. I merely request you hear me out. Please." His eyes were pained, glassy, as he spoke. A strange reflection of her own mood.
It softened her only a little. Still wary. Always wary. "Alright," Slowly nodding, she gestured at him, "What is it?"
Relief escaped him, but pain remained. "I am certain Toran has told you what my job was these past few days. I can see it. I want you to know it brought me despair to end anyone's life. To see how many chose it when they could live... I know those people were near to you. Even in disagreements. None of them deserved their death, but I could do nothing. Not without risk to my own family...and to those who chose life.
"Understand, I do not expect nor request forgiveness from you. I do not expect you to force yourself around me for my sake, only for yours when necessary. I offered that deal to save people. As I have seen far too many innocents die for Romulus' arrogance. I do not delight in my position. But I wish for you to understand."
Silence fell between them. Heavy. Slow. Eleanora realized Pangaere bled as she did. Even if in the slightest different way. She could not quell the roiling anger for those that died, could not quite aim it away from him, but she saw his own, tampered by grief and shame as it was, and could aim the rest where it belonged. Even with what power he had, it had limits. She could not blame him for that.
And he gave them what chances he could. Even with the risks.
Pangaere was not a cold man. She saw that from the start.
With slow breaths, she took a step forward. "We're both powerless in our own rights, huh? Ya did what you could..."
"It was of the few ways I knew. The one with the brighter outcome, as dim that light may be."
"A dim light's better than total darkness. Even I saw that. I don't regret givin' my crew a chance, as much as it hurts to see many of them die. And I can't go blamin' you for your government's biases. Still it's..."
She trailed off, Pangaere nodded, knowing without the rest. "Believe me, I feel I will never wash the blood off my hands. It is merely something more to live with."
A bloodiness she felt shared.
"The executions are they...?"
"Complete? Yes."
"And the methods?"
"Disruptor. Highest setting. As swift as we could make it."
A cold comfort. Eleanora prayed swift meant painless.
Did it matter now? It was done.
Yet it still burned.
She allowed Pangaere to place a hand on her shoulder. That strange sensation once again flowing through her. Only this time, she knew what it was. The "Hands of Peace" as Toran called it. Inherited from the S'Harien side of the family.
She didn't resist it. Welcomed it even. Tears began to fall easier.
How much more grieving was there to do?
"Come, I'm sure you wish to grieve in private," Pangaere urged and she let him guide her out of the library and to their shared bedroom.
He would had left her alone if not her pleads to stay. She did not wish to be alone.
"I am truly sorry." He whispered into her hair as she drifted off in his arms.
There was no going back.
She would survive for those that died.
For it was all she could do now.
Translation notes
Thank you. You may leave/go - Khnai'ru rhissiuy. Khia thei'yytaera
Pangaere's mate! Eleanora, yes? - Ahr'aihun s'Pangaere nnaerh! Narihu Eleanora nnaerh, daie?
She does not speak Rihan, fool! She is human, remember? - Rii dochaikhe Rihan, veruul! Ahr'Terrhaha rii, flaihh-difv hwi?