Chapter Six

A Held Breath

In the nine hundred and sixteen years Sesshoumaru had lived, he was no stranger to suffering. Throughout his life, it had taken on many forms and each step of the way he held his breath for the new and exciting manner his suffering would manifest. Suffering, at the moment, looked like a three-hour long meeting with the Daiyoukai Preservation Tribunal and the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department with no end in sight.

"I thought you youkai were men of honour, men who kept their word. Men who could be relied on for a promise of the eradication of oceanic opium in my streets. Curious that I've busted at least seven youkai in the last month strung out to their wits end, glamours askew, tails and ears just bare for the world to see. Do you how many humans I had to send for memory sweeping this month alone? What's next? Will your kind be peddling this drug to humans? To children? I fear I have to take matters into my own hands soon, Mr. Yono because the thing is, your kind can't seem to keep your word no matter how much leeway we give you," came the arrogant voice of the Chief Agawa.

Kouga shot up from his seat next to Sesshoumaru. His shaggy brown hair cast a shadow over his eyes as his claws elongated in his ire, threatening to puncture the wooden table before them.

"Leeway? You dare speak to me in that tone? You dare disrespect the Lord of the East? You call us dishonourable in our own house. You sir have no honour, no respect. You speak with all the insolence of someone ignorant to the presence of their betters," Kouga snarled, baring his teeth at the unbothered police chief and his lackeys.

Chief Agawa scoffed, cleaning under his nails, "Lord of the East? Oh please, Mr. Yono. We have long moved past the archaic divisions of our country. You have no power here, no authority. You, are not my better, as you call it. You and each one of your misguided comrades, are all citizens of the Great State of Japan, subject to the laws and regulations of this nation whether you like it or not. And here, in this room, I am the law."

Chief Agawa's eyes glinted wickedly as Kouga's eyes began bleeding red. Sesshoumaru raised a delicate eyebrow in Kouga's direction, surprised that the wolf was letting the human rile him to such an extent. Sesshoumaru rolled his eyes internally. Human beings were such a funny species. For centuries they spent their lives cowering in fear of the unknown, bowing to youkai in deference to the clear imbalance of power between them. Once the westerners brought firearms to Japanese shores, any man with a gun felt he was unstoppable. Chief Agawa was clearly no exception to this. Conspicuously, Sesshoumaru let his aura search for the deeper meaning in the police chief's actions. He observed Chief Agawa's aura, opening his senses to every ounce of energy emitting from the peculiar human man. The flecks of green and red at the edges of the colourful swirl of spiritual essence merged into a vibrant magenta that settled in the centre of the human's chest. Sesshoumaru sensed malice, and rage. Chief Agawa may have feigned nonchalance in the den of demons but Sesshoumaru knew that beneath that façade was a hunger for power and a jealousy of those who wielded it. It was obvious that he was trying to goad Kouga, force an attack and vitiate the treaty of peace that had taken one hundred and thirty-seven years for the Daiyoukai Preservation Tribunal to broker with the Japanese government.

"Kouga, enough," he said calmly, quietly. His voice was less than a whisper, a pitch imperceptible to the human ears. Only the youkai in the room would be able to discern his command, and Sesshoumaru needed to get Kouga to calm down without making him out to be subservient in front of the humans. Kouga growled, a loud warning before controlling his breath and taking his seat. Sesshoumaru smirked internally.

If only Rin could see me now, relying on the loyalty of wolves. What strange ways time manages to change us.

"Chief Agawa," Sesshoumaru began, levelling his gaze at the slip of a man. The chief was a thin, lanky man that looked like he would blow away with a strong gust of wind. It surprised Sesshoumaru how much attitude he managed to have when he was clearly outnumbered and overpowered. There was nothing Sesshoumaru hated more than poor planning on the part of his enemies. Agawa inclined his head to Sesshoumaru, tearing his eyes from the enigma of his fingers and finally deigning to give his youkai counterparts his attention. Sesshoumaru usually left the talking to the other members of the tribunal, but when he chose to speak, it went without saying that he be given all the respect that was due to him as head of the tribunal. Sesshoumaru regarded Chief Agawa with disdain as he slowly rose to his feet. The police chief seemed to shrink under the weight of Sesshoumaru's gaze and his towering height. As flecks of blue nervousness seeped into Agawa's aura, it revealed the truth of all his disrespect and bravado; Chief Agawa was afraid of them all. Fear made men do stupid things and Sesshoumaru was about to be his rude awakening.

"As you are well aware, the Daiyoukai Peace Treaty of 1856 signed by Emperor Komei himself provides that we all retain our positions of authority over the lands we rule. Tokyo, is approximately smack dab in the centre of Japan, bordering the North, the East, the West and South. I will be very clear with you- you and all humans under the control of the Tokyo Metropolitan Police Department reside under our authority. You eat, breed and shit at our benevolence. Let me remind you that any suggestion to the contrary is a direct attack on the Daiyoukai sovereignty of this great nation which has been in place long before humans chose to walk upright and stop fucking pigs for sport. Unless you intended for your little outburst to be a formal declaration of war, I suggest you recalibrate your tone and try again."

Sesshoumaru smiled, tight lipped and fake as Chief Agawa struggled to maintain his composure in the wake of what was unambiguously a threat.

"Now, as the capable and competent Lord Kouga of the Yono Tribe, Daiyoukai of the Eastern Lands of the State of Japan has indicated to you, we will deal with this matter privately. We thank you for your initiative in bringing this matter to our attention, however I frankly believe it has proven to be outside of your skill set. We shall take it from here. I do believe this meeting has ended. Oh, and Chief Agawa? I will be writing to Prime Minister Abe to inform him of the interesting conversations we engaged in today. Do have a good day."

Chief Agawa splutter and huffed, his face red and swollen with indignation. He looked like he wanted to argue with Sesshoumaru but the stoic faces of the four powerful youkai before him forced his words to die on his tongue. Trying to recover his pride, he smoothed out the non-existent wrinkles on his pristine police uniform and signaled for his companions to follow him out.

When they were alone, the youkai erupted in rage.

"Oceanic opium?! In our streets?! The disrespect! The nerve!" Hotaru, Lord of the South exclaimed.

"I thought we sent those ocean dwellers back to where they came centuries ago. And now they do this? In Tokyo no less?" Toshihiro, Lord of the North echoed Hotaru's sentiments.

Kouga sneered, "This has Shachihoko's name all over it. My wolves caught a sighting of orcas off the coast of Fukushima."

"Orcas?" Hotaru shivered.

Kouga nodded solemnly. "That's not the only thing. The fishermen have been reporting strange sightings. Monsters in the sea with deformed bodies from the depths of hell itself."

"Youkai," Hotaru breathed out.

Silenced settled between the men. It went against every youkai law to reveal themselves to humans. Long ago, youkai and humans lived in a tenuous co-existence. Now, youkai shrouded themselves in secrecy for their protection as much as for the protection of humans. In this modern world of logic and science and "facts" it was of no benefit to anyone to reveal higher morph forms to humans. Humans had already proven their penchant for destruction, if Hiroshima and Nagasaki proved anything. There was no telling the advancements humans would create if they understood just how powerful youkai were. It was a recipe for disaster. That the oceanic youkai were revealing their forms to human fishermen was a cause for great concern.

Sesshoumaru stiffened. "Any deaths reported?"

"No. Not yet. But they'll be coming soon, I suspect. This is the same as last time. Fucking orcas and their sadism. It isn't enough to launch an attack, isn't it? No, they have hunt and torment us and blow our fucking cover before they strike," Kouga scowled, flinging himself back into his chair and crossing his arms in annoyance.

"We have to be very careful moving forward, gentlemen," Toshihiro cautioned, his nails anxiously scratching at the wooden table.

"Hiro is right," Hotaru nodded, "the last time orcas were sighted they were searching for the Jewels of the Sea. They got their hands on the Kanju and wreaked unknown devastation. With the Shikon miko still missing from this time, and the presence of spiritual priestesses growing less and less with each year, we are on our own if they attack. What if they still have the Kanju? We can't manage another attack of that magnitude."

"Yes Hotaru, we were all there when the power of the tide ebbing jewel was unleashed," Sesshoumaru said solemnly, recalling the devastation from the orcas' terrorist attack.

"Were you there, Sesshoumaru?" Hotaru snapped, "I recall you being in America in 1854, chasing after your alcoholic brother. You weren't here when it all fell apart, not even to pick up the pieces. When Shachihoko last used the jewel, it caused an 8.4 magnitude earthquake. The tsunami destroyed more than 30,000 buildings and took my mate from me. You will never-" Hotaru's voice cracked, unusually charge with grief.

Sesshoumaru felt ice flood his veins. He refused to give Hotaru the reaction he was so clearly seeking. Everyone at the table knew both Inuyasha and his mate were a sore spot for Sesshoumaru. He saw Kouga roll his eyes as Hotaru composed himself. Kouga hated public displays of emotion, which was ironic given his tendency for the dramatic.

"Hotaru, we all sympathise with your loss. Sesshoumaru, more than anyone knows what it's like to lose a mate. We all understand what is at stake if Shachihoko is active again. Worse yet, if she is in search of the Manju jewel. With both the tide ebbing jewel and the tide flowing jewel they could swallow Japan whole. And we still don't know what her motive for destruction was last time. None of us here is taking this threat lightly."

"We need to find out what they're plotting. First the opium and now this? The ocean is far too big it to be a coincidence that they've returned," Toshihiro suggested. Sesshoumaru could sense Toshihiro's anxiety rolling off of him in waves. It made him nauseous and he tried to dull his senses to the stimulation.

"This is their domain as well, Toshihiro. They are youkai, just as we are, born of these waters. They have every right to be here. But I agree with you. It is strange for them to return after so long. More importantly, I think, we need to find out why they're plotting. Rather difficult to figure out their plans when none of us can breathe under water," Kouga mused, rubbing his chin in thought.

"I have connections, oceanic youkai that owe me a couple favours I could call in. Maybe I could lend some assistance in that regard," Toshihiro suggested.

Sesshoumaru nodded, eager for this meeting to end. It had gone on for far too long and now he was late.

"Follow the opium. It should lead you to whatever Shachihoko is planning. But be careful trusting those youkai with too much information. Oceanic youkai have allegiance to one thing and one thing only- the womb of the sea. At the end of the day, land dwellers like us will always be their enemy. Let's divide and conquer. Kouga and I will seek out the remaining mikos we've been able to locate and try to get them on our side. Hotaru, have you news stations monitor the humans for signs of any troubles at sea, especially orca sightings or attacks. We shall reconvene in a few weeks," he stated, letting his voice ring out in finality before the other youkai could bring up another point of debate. He was exhausted and had better things to do with his time than to spend it with the anxious lords.

As Hotaru and Toshihiro left, Kouga waited behind, catching Sesshoumaru's eye before they exited the Daiyoukai Presevation Tribunal headquarters. "Hey, Sesshoumaru. Thanks for calming me down back there. I wanted to rip Agawa to shreds, the piece of shit."

"I think he was rather hoping for that, Kouga."

"Hmm," Kouga responded, pondering Sesshoumaru's words. They walked out of the building in silence, making their way onto the busy streets as their glamours fell in place. Sesshoumaru watched Kouga's pointed ears round into human likeness and the blue markings that snaked around his neck in three concentric circles that marked him as part of the Yono clan fade into his tan skin.

"How's the search going?" Kouga asked conversationally, avoiding Sesshoumaru's eyes and the weight behind his words.

Sesshoumaru sniffed at the question before replying in a clipped tone, "Unsuccessful as of late."

"Hmm," Kouga didn't push the subject, instead pivoting in a way Sesshoumaru had not come to expect from the wolf.

"Do you think Hiro's right? Should we really be preparing for war with the oceanic youkai?" Kouga questioned, his brow furrowed in concern. He was looking for strength from Sesshoumaru, but Sesshoumaru had none to offer him. The threat of the ocean was looming closer and closer, and he could smell the beginnings of war in the air.

"You know as well as I do how dangerous the orcas are. I think we have waded in the shores of peace for far too long. It was only a matter of time before the tides came in."

Kouga's eyes hardened, absorbing the gravity of Sesshoumaru's words. Neither Sesshoumaru nor Kouga were strangers to war. They had both learnt the hard way that preparation and a sound knowledge of one's enemy could be the difference between victory and defeat. Anticipating wars was how they had survived for the last few centuries unscathed. Kouga nodded, accepting their reality.

"I'll start preparing my men. Kinda difficult when most of those stinking wolves hate water with a passion," Kouga chuckled wryly.

Sesshoumaru let a rare smile grace his lips, a slight upturn of the corner of his mouth.

"Hey, Sess, good luck today, okay. Maybe it'll be the day you find her," Kouga beamed at him, clapping his shoulder in comradery before making his exit.

Sesshoumaru tried to let Kouga's optimism soak into his heart as he walked aimlessly. The sun felt like a spotlight against his back, burning his skin with a warning from the goddess Amaterasu Omikami herself. No matter how old he grew, no matter the centuries that passed, the tingling feeling of unease never failed to find Sesshoumaru when he walked in the daylight. It was an innate knowledge, primal and genetic, that he was an enemy of the day. As the lore had it, the sun goddess and the moon god had a bitter falling out, a lovers spat morphing into a rivalry that transcended eons. After this, Amaterasu set herself in the sky far away from her husband, refusing to share space with the moon for a moment longer. She swore to wreak havoc on any child born under the blessing of the moon god, Tsukiyomi. Sesshoumaru felt the promise of her havoc creep down his neck as the sweltering heat of summer rose around him in waves, irritating his senses while the world blossomed before him with vigor.

Sesshoumaru suffered the urge to hold his breath as the hive of humans engulfed him in the mundane workings of their lives. They swarmed around him, unconcerned by his need for personal space, congesting the busy streets of Tokyo with their pungent sweat and incessant noise. Humans had slowly traded poor personal hygiene and silence with stronger perfumes and loud, cumbersome machines in the years he had watched Japan grow into its modern state. The general population had become lazy and difficult for the daiyoukai to tolerate. He found himself missing the quiet peace of hundreds of years past, wondering where along the way he had lost it all.

Not for the first time, he thought of how easy it would be to go mad in this time, to let his sensitive ears fully absorb the noise and chaos, to let his stomach retch with the suffocating smog he tried so hard not to breathe in, to let his mind explode into a million overwhelmed pieces…It was torture for him, in this time. Many youkai lived secretly, under the nose of the human population and most had seamlessly integrated with the modern world, thriving in the ever-evolving world of humans. His children had long forsaken him; his son had migrated to Europe with Inuyasha and his daughter preferred to live in seclusion, deep in the forests far away from the humans. They both begged him to join them but, gluttonous for punishment as he was, he refused. He had a responsibility to his lands, the lands of his father, of his family. He was the Lord of the West and the protector of the realm. He couldn't just leave. He had a duty to his people. At least that was the lie he told himself. On the days he chose to be honest, he would admit that he couldn't go to his children until he had returned their mother to them.

He had lingered in this time, in this place out of duty to his title, but also seeking respite from the battering ram of time, the cruelest, most vicious enemy that had ever battled the Mighty Sesshoumaru. If he was less sensible, he would curse the kami themselves for this empty fate of waiting that had been thrust upon him. It was their retribution, he knew, for his proud display of insolence in falling in love with a human. He could hear his mother now, whispering into his ear from beyond her grave, "The moon god is the god of order. He is stringent and unforgiving for those who deviate from their set path." Over the years, he had convinced himself that Tsukiyomi had cursed him. They had looked down from the glimmering teardrop in the black sky, from where they held dominion over the night and had seen Sesshoumaru, son of the crescent moon, protector of the night and paragon of order defy nature and the youkai ways. They had seen his love for a human, and it had repulsed them. It had destroyed the very order Sesshoumaru was meant to keep as Lord of the West and was an affront to the god itself. It was just his luck that he was not safe from the vengeance of the gods no matter the time, whether by night or by day. Sesshoumaru did not need a shaman or a priestess to confirm this feeling for him; he was slowly repaying his pound of flesh as the years went by, the sheer weight of his suffering fracturing his soul.

Ignoring the teenager with the headphones that bumped into him, Sesshoumaru ground his teeth glancing at his smart-watch as he noted the date for the third time: 16th July 2016. Summertime in Japan. Despite the warmth of the day around him Sesshoumaru had never felt so cold. The confrontations with Chief Agawa, the emerging threat of war all melted away in the face of the most important dilemma in his life; she was late. More specifically, she was three years late from the time she ought to have arrived and he was beginning to worry he would never see her again. Concern permeated his thoughts, drawing his attention from the influx of oceanic opium, the rising rate of undocumented hanyous, the orca sightings and all other matters that constantly competed for his attention. In the grand scheme of Sesshoumaru's life, none of it truly mattered when she was supposed to have been here already.

Sesshoumaru had checked her family shrine several times, and realized the Kagome he saw going through the motions of life was not quite the one he had married. She was an earlier form of the woman he knew, a version of her that had just returned from the bittersweet defeat of Naraku just before he had met her for the first time. She would not know him as yet, not in the way he knew her. If he thought about things for too long, he felt resentment threatening the edges of his mind. He scoffed internally. Would they always be destined to live out of sync, out of time with each other? The thought left a lingering sadness that filled his soul with longing.

They were supposed to have reconciled and fallen right back into the thick of their love by now. They were supposed to be happy, reunited with their children, together- a family once more. His children had long given up hope that she would return, having gone hundreds of years since they last saw their mother. Despite his best efforts, Kagome had faded into a memory that felt more like a dream for their children with each passing year as the mythical promise of her return slowly turned into a cruel joke. They barely spoke of her now; she was the ghost of what their life could have been and a painful reminder of a love they could not remember. Sesshoumaru, on the other hand, refused to give up hope. He held on to the last words she had spoken to him, a pledge as near to a wish as she'd dared. If it was one thing he loved and trusted about Kagome, it was that she never broke her promises to him.

"The Well and I- we, well we have an understanding, in a way. It listens to me, sometimes, if I ask really nicely. I still don't know how it works, honestly. I've been trying to figure it out for years now, but I think it will send me back- well, back to my time that is- close to the time I left. Just- hold on to this. Find me and I'll find you. March 2013. It'll be springtime, a new beginning for us both, don't you think? We'll find each other and it'll be like no time has passed at all. I promise." She had tucked a necklace into his hand, a thin silver chain delicate and light with a blue-green stone pendant. She had told him before the pendant was made from a stone called amazonite.

"Keep it close to you, for hope."

Sesshoumaru could still remember the look on her face, the way she smiled tight and nervous, unsure of her future- their future- before she had jumped into that forsaken Well. In his logical mind, he knew it was her calling, her destiny, bound by the magic of the Well. It was a cosmic responsibility that she put above all others, even herself and he loved her for her unwavering dedication. But that didn't mean it was easy for him when she'd told him the Well was calling her again. It was even harder the day she had to leave. He remembered how he fisted his hands to his side, careful not to crush his last gift from her in his rage and pain. He knew it was hard for her too, to leave them. She had barely had the courage to say goodbye to the children.

He had tried to understand, tried to respect that she had a duty to the world, to the Well that she had to fulfil. He did not want to accept that she did not belong in his time. He remembered how he had to force himself not to reach out and lock her in his arms so she would not leave him and their children. He had felt hopeless and lost. He couldn't remember what it had been like before, in that time he spent prior to the moment she crashed into his life. It felt like darkness before her, then she appeared with light and love, and she was his everything. And then, before his eyes could adjust to the brightness of her presence, she was gone.

She had been wrong of course- it had not felt like no time had passed. It felt like purgatory, time dragging its feet against his pointless wish to see her face again. The face that would light up and glow when she recognized him- his Kagome. It would not be the wary looks of tentative trust, the slow built friendship and sparring sessions of the Kagome of the Feudal Era. It would not feel so cold and strained and awkward. Their third, and hopefully final time of meeting, would be the start of the rest of their lives together. Sesshoumaru's palm reached up to rub the faint imprint of human teeth against his neck- his mating mark. He found himself checking to make sure it was still there, his only sign that his Kagome was still alive, out there somewhere in the ether of time.

He shook his head, continuing his walk along the busy streets, his feet idly leading him as his mind drifted. He could not lose his way now- he had to live in the moment they would reunite if he wanted to survive. So, instead of his impending sense of hopelessness, he thought of what would happen when next he saw her. He would not have to restrain himself, or his jealousy around her. She would be his again, not Sango's, not stupid Inuyasha's, but his. She would see him, and their souls would rejoice in merry meeting, and it would be glorious. It would feel like a burden lifted from his shoulders, a breath held finally released as he wrapped his arms around her- home. The time he had spent waiting and pining for her would melt away around him and he would know that every second had been all worth it.

Sesshoumaru sighed, feeling the despair creep into his psyche once more. Out of habit, his fingers reached for blue-green stone in his pocket. He enclosed it in his palm, seeking comfort and strength to continue his wandering. Sesshoumaru moved to cross the street, his eyes landing on the face of a woman on the terrace of a bar. Lightning struck him in an instant as he recognized her, warm brown eyes, enchanting him. His eyes roamed her face. Her hair was shorter than he recalled and there was a weariness to her spirit that singed the edges of her being. Her aura felt dull, subdued and far from the fiery incubator of power he remembered of his wife. But still, it was her. It was Kagome. He didn't dare entertain the doubts forming, the gut-wrenching instinct that she was not the version of Kagome he was meant to meet in this time. Sesshoumaru's heart fluttered in his chest as he saw her observing him, recognizing him.

It's her, he almost choked on his excitement. He had not felt this much joy since his daughter was born.

Sesshoumaru let his perfectly controlled aura flare to greet her, allowing his magic to speak the words he could not yell to her from across the street.

I've missed you.

Few people, whether youkai, human, magically gifted or otherwise could read a being's aura. It was a rare and highly technical skill that took time to develop and grow. Sesshoumaru had honed this skill after finally unlocking his higher morph form, taking several years before the colours he saw swirling around others made sense to him. Seeing an aura was very different from interpreting its meaning and the colours rarely ever meant the same thing for each person, he had learnt. To his dismay, Kagome had had this skill from the moment he first met her. It was irritating, at first, to have her, a human at that, be better than him at something, but he grew to respect her and her skill as she taught him how to control it. When their relationship and their magic grew, she taught him how to advance the skill and share his thoughts with her. It was a deeply intimate bearing of the soul that he had missed more than he could describe. It was their own language, a private communication that only they shared. The Kagome of the Feudal era had not yet appeared to have developed the skill set, but this Kagome was clearly regarding his aura; she was seeing him. He faltered when her eyebrows knitted together in confusion, the doubts settling deeper in the pit of his stomach. Still ignorantly hopeful he let his face split into a smile, imbibing all his joy and relief into his aura in a desperate attempt to reach out to her.

But she didn't run to his arms, didn't respond with a colourful message of her own. She looked at him like she wasn't quite sure who he was and it nearly broke his heart. Then, in a moment that felt painfully familiar, she turned on her heels and left. Sesshoumaru was struck with an overwhelming feeling of confusion. She had seen him, he knew she had. Despite himself, he couldn't let her just leave, not again. Recovering quickly from his shock and confusion, he set out to find her. Once he'd caught her scent, it had not been hard to seek her out; she was much slower than he remembered. He found her a few blocks away, huffing and puffing against a tree. At first, he was unsure whether to approach her, there was so much he wanted to say it weighed on his tongue in heavy silence. Instead, he looked at her for a moment, savouring the sight of the sun glistening in her jet-black hair. Even disheveled from her run, she was a goddess bathed in the light.

Sesshoumaru gazed at her amusedly as she struggled to catch her breath. Her back was to him and she was hunched over, sucking oxygen through her mouth like a landlocked fish. She clutched the tree to her left for support.

"What are you doing?" he called to her, watching her jump at the sound of his voice.

"Tryna- out run- my- problems," she wheezed, too busy trying to catch her breath.

Sesshoumaru frowned at her, "Problem? I had quite thought we'd become friends, Kagome. Unless I am mistaken and you weren't actually running away from the mere sight of me?"

Her face grew red as she struggled to catch her breath, her words jumbling into intelligible phrases.

"Am I to believe I became a troll overnight that I caused a beautiful woman to run away in horror?"

Kagome's face grew even redder. Sesshoumaru felt a vibration erupt from his chest and realized belatedly that he was laughing. It was a strange feeling that had not found him in years and left him with a peculiar ache in his heart. Before he could stop himself, he said, "It's good to see you again, Kagome. I'm so happy that you're safe. I-I was worried about you."

Sesshouamru cursed the quiver in his voice that revealed the weakness and uncertainty he felt.

Kagome was still breathing a bit hard, and he could see the vein in her neck pulsing erratically. It pained him to observe the absence of her mating mark, confirming the grim reality he was forced to accept- it wasn't her. She was not his.

"Because of the Well?" she asked, her breathing a bit more controlled as her eyes avoided his with pointed determination, instead focusing on the pale, corn blue of his linen shirt.

Sesshoumaru frowned again, remembering their last encounter at the Well, where she had screamed out his name before disappearing to the black abyss of time. Cautiously, he nodded.

"Yes, of course. The Well. You sounded scared. I heard you call out to me but by the time I got to there, it was too late. What happened?"

She froze, a visual stiffening of her limbs and stilling of her ragged breath as the memory seemed to wash over her. Her aura contracted into itself, a cocoon of dark purple energy that warned him to back off.

"I got a wake-up call," she responded, her tone icy and unwelcoming. It was a bitter sound, acrid and unfamiliar as it hit his ears. It was unlike anything he had ever heard from Kagome, in all his years of knowing her.

"And the Well? What happened with the Well? It looked like it was dragging you to the bottom. I've never seen anything like that before," he pressed, his curiosity growing. He had spent a lot of time over the last five hundred years wondering about Kagome and her strange relationship with the magic well. Sensing her discomfort, he reached out with his aura, a quiet call of reassurance to her frayed nerves. He watched her eyes widen as his magic gingerly brushed the edges of her senses.

"It was nothing. Nothing happened with the Well," she said coldly, crossing her arms in front of her chest in a clearly defensive stance.

"You were always a terrible liar, Kagome."

Sesshoumaru let his mind expand into his aura, reaching out even more with his magic hoping to connect with Kagome as he did before. It was stupid, to try to push things so quickly, knowing she was not the version of Kagome he anticipated. But he was man, stranded in a desert for years, finally being offered a drink of water.

"How are you doing that?" she asked, bristling away from his psychic touch.

He pulled back, frowning at how closed off she had become as he fully regarded her. The skin under her eyes were stained by the distinct mark of sleepless nights, her fingernails were bitten to stumps and her face was flushed. He could smell the scent of alcohol on her. She seemed out of sorts to him. He squeezed his hands at his side, resisting the urge to hug her and ask what was wrong. The pit in his stomach deepened. All of his instincts were shouting at him that something was wrong, and that wrongness transcended Kagome. Everything in this place, this time was slowly beginning to feel wrong. Instead, he forced a smirk.

"Doing what?" he let his aura flare again, playfully dancing between them.

"That! That right there! I've never seen anything like it before. It feels like you're trying to talk to me."

"I am talking to you, aren't I?"

Kagome rolled her eyes, huffing in exasperation.

"When do you go back to the Well?" he asked cautiously.

"I'm never going back."

"What?" Sesshoumaru nearly choked. This did not make any sense at all to him, "What do you mean you're never going back?"

"I mean the Well and this destiny of mine could both fuck off. I'm done being a cosmic pawn. I'm done suffering for the good of others. I- I just want to live my life now. I'm done, Sesshoumaru."

Sesshoumaru was struggling to comprehend the words coming out of her mouth. If she never went back to the Well, she would never meet him. She would never fall in love with him, would never have his children. His heart threatened to break through his ribcage as adrenaline pounded through his body. Now it all made sense, why she was late. This version of Kagome had never returned to the Well in spring of 2013. She had, for whatever reason, chosen to stay in her time. Sesshoumaru shuddered, contemplating the unprecedented ripples in time that one decision had cost. He felt the beginnings of anger tickle his eyes.

"You can't do that, Kagome. It doesn't work that way," he ground out between clenched teeth.

Kagome's eyes hardened at his tone, "What doesn't work that way, Sesshoumaru?"

"Responsibility!" he snapped. She flinched at the sharpness of his voice and he cursed himself for letting his anger get the better of him.

"You can't just choose not to follow your destiny, to ignore the path the kamis have chosen for you."

"The kamis can go fuck themselves too."

"Your responsibility to the world is greater than the selfishness of your own desires, Kagome. I thought you of all people would know that by now."

Kagome gasped, her folded hands dropping to her side. Sesshoumaru regretted the words immediately, watching the emotions flash across her crumpling face. A silence settled between them that was wrought with tension.

"You don't know fucking anything about me, Sesshoumaru. You think because we sparred a few times and I shared a few tidbits about my life that you know me? That we're friends? That you have the right to speak to me about something you couldn't even begin to understand-" she cut herself off, tears choking her voice out.

She took a moment and composed herself, still avoiding his eyes.

"We are nothing to each other, Sesshoumaru. Nothing."

Sesshoumaru felt his heart explode into a million pieces. Their reunion was officially a fucking disaster and he couldn't shake the feeling it was all his fault.

"Well, well, well. And who do we have here?" a brown haired, muscular man approached them with smirk on his face. He draped an arm around Kagome's shoulders in obvious familiarity.

"Kagome, aren't you going to introduce me to your handsome friend?" the man dimpled a smile in Sesshoumaru's direction.

If Sesshoumaru wasn't swept away in the tide of rage all of his own making he may have noticed the sway in the man's hips, or how he winked at Sesshoumaru in an obvious attempt at flirting. Instead, all he saw was the man's arms around his mate as Kagome's words echoed through his mind.

We are nothing to each other, Sesshoumaru.

Before he could control himself, Sesshoumaru let loose a growl, deep and feral it ripped from his throat. The man jumped in fear, placing himself behind Kagome. Kagome was unphased, staring Sesshoumaru down as her reiki flared around her and her power surged.

"He is not my friend, Hojo. I was just leaving," Kagome responded dragging the wide-eyed man away.

Sesshoumaru was rooted, holding his breath as he watched Kagome's fading form once again as she disappeared from his sight.

Author's note:

Welcome back! Hope you enjoyed the story. I had a spot of writer's block and couldn't get anything out. First Sesshouamru POV and extra long chapter as my sincerest apology. I hope you liked it. I'm open to all criticism so please feel free to leave a review. Please note that although a rough draft of each chapter has been created this story is very much being written on the fly, so bear with me.

Thanks for reading!

Lots of love, SITM.