My alarm clock goes off beside me and I'm immediately jolted out of my dream. I was dreaming about the baby. Well more accurately, about her as a toddler.
I look around to see Cappie awake beside me and it scares me slightly, not expecting it.
"Oh", I breathe in sharply, surprise taking over me for a second when I see him looking back at me.
"Sorry I just woke up a few minutes ago, I didn't mean to scare you. I was gonna get up but… thought it might wake you up and you just looked so peaceful", He explains. "Don't worry I wasn't trying to pull a Jeremy".
"No it's okay", I get my breathing back to normal and let out a slight laugh. "So… you're in my bed?"
"Ah, the events of last night haven't registered yet? Take your time, you'll want to remember every detail", He gives me a smirk.
"Oh right", I nod awkwardly, feeling slightly embarrassed at my actions last night.
"The chocolate sauce, the whipped cream, your wet panties…", He gives me a devious smile. "And that was just the foreplay"
"Believe me, it's coming back to me", I sigh and look down at myself. "I'm sticky like… all over".
I move my hand through my hair to feel stickiness there too.
"I don't even want to know what's in my hair", I groan.
"I do", he smirks and I roll my eyes at him, getting out of bed to go to the washroom, the baby sitting on my bladder uncomfortably.
"So are we gonna talk about the fact that… you couldn't last a full week?", He sits up in my bed, looking proud.
All I do is give him a glare.
"Wow that dress is even more sheer in the light of day", He smiles. "And without underwear it's making me practically-"
"Listen", I cut him off. "Last night was fun".
I sigh, admitting what I knew was true.
"Really fun", He nods.
"Yes really fun but… it was just because we couldn't sleep and I was feeling a certain way. And you… well you're always feeling that way", I try to explain to him. "It was good, really good. But I didn't mean to invite you into my bed last night, okay? I was… barely me last night".
"You're making it sound like you were drunk", Cappie scoffs. "Which you can't use as an excuse because I know with complete certainly that you're pregnant and sober".
"I…", I can't seem to come up with an excuse. "I have to pee. Not to mention I have to clean up something running down my leg that I probably don't want to know about".
All he does is grin in amusement as I turn and stalk off to the washroom.
When I come back he's sitting in the same way but looking through my bedside table drawer.
"Hey! What are you doing?", I try to stop him.
"Goldfish, mini Oreos, and gummy worms?", He laughs. "Are you an 8 year old?"
"I get hungry at night now alright?", I cross my arms.
"Oh believe me, I know", He grins ear to ear. "Is this why you don't want me in your bed? Because you're having a full on feast in here without me?"
I give him a look then grab my snacks from his hands and put them back in the drawer, shutting it with a thud.
"Listen Cap, I think we should just… move on", I sigh. "Have breakfast, shower… go about our day".
"Shower together, or?", He teases me met with my crossed arms. "Sorry last one, I actually think you'll be happy to know that breakfast is already made".
I look at him curiously.
"Those waffles you made last night, they're still there on the counter if you'd believe it", He laughs.
I can't help the way I smirk then, remembering the details of last night.
"Yeah I guess you're right. We were a little too busy to eat them", I nod and he gets out of bed too, us both walking into the kitchen living room area.
"I'm gonna… warm them up in the microwave", I suggest and he hovers behind me, pouring some orange juice for us.
I hand him his plate and take a glass from him and we go to sit at the table.
We eat in awkward silence for a second until I feel the need to speak.
"You know I feel like I should mention that I don't normally do that…", I say. "Like kinky stuff like that".
I give him a look and he laughs, chewing his bite before he speaks.
"You call that kinky? I call that just another Thursday night", he laughs and I give him a shake of my head, my eyes rolling but I'm smirking.
"Maybe for you", I say quietly.
"I liked it", He says simply. "I don't want you to feel embarrassed or anything… it was amazing. Especially at the end, I've never felt anything like that with… anyone".
He stops eating and leans forward to smile at me.
I stare at him for a moment, unsure how to proceed, but his charm gets the best of me and I surrender in a laugh.
"Me neither", I say honestly.
He smiles and goes back to eating, happy that I'd said it too. And I look at him, his hair tousled, lips red, his morning voice making it hard to be mad at him. Crap. He's got me again.
"Cap… I'm sorry I was cranky earlier. I don't regret last night, okay? When I woke up the baby was just pushing on me uncomfortably and I'm tired but-"
He cuts me off before I can further apologize.
"It's okay, I get it, don't worry", He nods with a smile and then gestures down to my belly. "You have an excuse"
I laugh then and we finish up our food, I think both unable to stop the smiles that have made their way onto our faces.
"Well I have to go to work in a second but I'm gonna pick you up when I get back so we can go to that class", He says nonchalantly.
"Class?", I question.
"The birthing one? You know? You're the one that registered for it", He laughs slightly and I mentally hit myself in the head for not even remembering it.
"Oh yeah", I shake my head. "I can't believe I almost forgot about that".
"Pregnancy brain?", Cappie laughs.
"Maybe", I nod. "I can't believe we now live in a world where you can keep better track of things than me".
"Eh it won't last", he shrugs with a laugh, trying to make me feel better. "Once the baby's out your mind will go back to normal. Although…."
He gives me a look.
"Hopefully your sex drive won't", He grins.
"I'm gonna get in the shower", I give him a look, a blush I'm unable to hide, as I get up, putting my plate on the counter.
"A cold shower?", He teases me.
I turn around and give him an annoyed look before leaving to go to the washroom.
Once I get in there though I can't help the grin I'm sporting.
The events of last night couldn't be wiped from my memory if I tried. The evidence is all over my body anyways. I was about to wash it all away. Wash the whipped cream saliva trail down my chest, wash him from between my legs.
I look in the mirror to notice a red mark on my neck. That comes back to me too. Damn, I really let him give me a hickey? At least it was Winter and I could probably hide it with a high necked sweater or makeup.
I get in the shower then, part of me wishing that he was in here with me to clean me off. To run his long fingers down my body until he reached-
Ugh, dammit! Snap out of it Casey.
I have to be hard on myself, clearly I needed to be when it came to him.
"Thanks for letting me use your apartment to study Case", Rusty smiles at me, carrying in his book bag to my kitchen table.
It's later in the afternoon now. Rusty didn't have classes on Friday and needed a place to study.
"Yeah no problem Rus", I smile.
"Dale has just been absolutely crazy lately with his new project, he's got the entire apartment filled with freshman who he calls his assistants", Rusty explains and I laugh at Dale.
"Sounds like Dale", I scoff.
"Hey this is a really great couch", Rusty comes over to look at our new couch, I'd forgotten he hadn't seen it yet. "Ikea really had something like this?"
"Yeah I know right! I love it", I smile.
He looks confusedly at it then and pulls something out that was wedged in the side of it.
"Wait a second… what's this? Ew! Are these your underwear?", He throws them out from his hand like they're a bomb.
Crap. I guess we had left those there last night, neither one of us even remembering to retrieve them.
"Don't be such a baby", I give him a look. "They're just… from when I was folding my laundry on the couch".
I lie and pick them up, walking back to my room and throwing them in the hamper embarrassingly.
"So how's it going living with Cappie?", Rusty laughs slightly, setting up his laptop and books at the table. "Is he bringing over any KT tendencies to this place?"
"Surprisingly no", I laugh. "He actually is pretty clean. I mean his room isn't quite as spic and span as I would personally have it but he's pretty easy to live with".
I shrug and turn away from Rusty then to grab us both some iced tea.
If Rusty had seen my face talking about living with Cappie he might suspect something. Suspect that it's actually way too easy to cohabitate with Cappie. And that was kind of the problem.
"Well that's awesome. You guys are doing really well together", Rusty smiles when I hand him a drink. "It's really good for the baby".
"Yeah", I nod with a smile. "It's good".
"See, I hate to say I told you so Case", He gives me a look. "But didn't I tell you that Cappie would be there for you?"
"Yes you were right Rus", I laugh then. "I shouldn't have doubted him. I was just scared and hurt because our breakup was still fresh when I found out I was pregnant. But things are working out now".
I can't help the way I smile then, thinking about the three of us together. Me, Cappie, and the baby. It's just what I'd wanted when I fantasized about keeping her all those months ago. I just truly thought I was way in over my head that it could actually happen.
"Well I'm happy for you guys", He nods, breaking my thoughts. "And… I wasn't gonna say anything but… you kissed Cappie on the cheek the other night, on Halloween".
Rusty gives me a look, pressing me.
I did much more than just merely kiss his cheek, but Rusty didn't need to know that.
"Am I not allowed to kiss someone on the cheek?", I put my hands on my hips. "I'd kiss Ash on the cheek, I kiss Grandpa Steve on the cheek at family Christmas… even though I don't want to".
He doesn't waver in the smirk he's giving me.
"I mean look!", I groan and lean forward to kiss him on the cheek, much to his dismay, grossing him out as he swats me away.
"Ew! Okay fine, I get it. You're just friends", Rusty rolls his eyes at me and wipes his cheek with the sleeve of his top dramatically.
I shake my head at him with a roll of my eyes.
"I'll stop pressing you about the Cappie thing. The important thing is you guys are getting along well for the baby. I can't wait to meet her", Rusty smiles.
He and Dale had come over yesterday and looked at all the 3D ultrasound photos of her.
"Me too", I nod. "I think about her like 24/7, I just want to meet her already. Except for the fact that I'm still not fully ready to bring home an actual baby. I still have to set up a nursery in the corner of my room, still have to go to this birthing class later today. I feel like I'm never gonna be ready for her Rus".
I sigh then, my elbows on the kitchen counter, feeling overwhelmed.
"Well I'm pretty sure that's how everyone feels before they have a baby. But it'll be okay Case. And I'll be around to help in any way I can when things get hard", He smiles at me and I grin at him.
"That reminds me…", I say to him cautiously. "On my paperwork with my doctor I put Cappie as my number one birth partner but for number two… I put you".
I look at him awkwardly.
"I know I should've asked you first but it's such a low chance that you'll actually have to be there and-", I try to defend my decision.
"Case that's totally fine", He cuts me off. "I'm actually kind of flattered that you'd pick me as the second person".
"Well you're my brother", I smile at him. "I kind of want you to be there on the day. And Ash too".
"Well I'm up for it", he nods with a smile. "And I'm sure Ashleigh will be too".
"Thanks Rusty", I say, my lip puckered, thankful that he's here. "Well I'll leave you alone to study now, I have to get my laundry out of the dryer downstairs".
"Okay cool", Rusty nods.
I was getting through washing all the new baby stuff. I wanted to have her new clothes, blankets, and towels washed and folded in a portion of my closet that I'd sectioned off for her stuff before she gets here.
I loved this building but the only thing better would be in unit laundry, especially with the fact that I'm going to have a newborn soon. But I was used to doing laundry this way at ZBZ, and before that in the dorms too. What I wasn't used to was carrying a huge laundry basket down to the basement while out and breath and pregnant.
But I still needed to try to stay as active as possible. Not to mention doing all this work before the baby got here distracted me from the sheer terror of not feeling ready for this.
I go down there and get all my laundry out of the dryer and into my basket and then come back upstairs in the elevator.
When I get back into the apartment I see that Cappie's back, sitting talking to Rusty.
"Oh hey", I smile at him when I get in.
"Hey", He nods. "I was just telling Spitter here about our night".
I give him a look of terror then, almost dropping my laundry basket.
"You know, watching that new singing show on ABC? That old lady had the voice of an angel", Cappie says and gives me a teasing smile, knowing exactly what he's doing to me. "And Case made waffles".
"Yep", I nod nervously, speaking fast so Rusty doesn't suspect anything. "Fun night. Anyways you almost ready to go to that class?"
"Yeah I'm ready when you are", He smirks at me.
"Okay just let me just go put this in my room and get my purse", I say awkwardly, bumping into the couch when I move, not having seen it with the laundry basket in front of me.
"Oh!", Cappie looks at me worriedly, coming over to me to take the laundry basket out of my arms. "You okay?"
"Yeah, fine", I nod up and down, and move away from his hands that come towards me to steady me.
I give them both a small smile and then power walk to my room, wanting to evade this situation ASAP.
"What's up with her?", I hear Rusty's voice speak to Cappie in a hushed tone as I leave.
"Hormones probably", Cappie concludes and I roll my eyes in my room. Not everything is hormones! Sometimes it's the guy in your life who lives to tease you for his own enjoyment.
I grab my black shoulder bag and a light jacket and I'm ready to go.
I come back to the living room to see Cappie grabbing his keys.
"Alright wish us luck Spitter", Cappie grins. "I'm probably gonna need it".
Rusty scoffs.
"Okay bye guys!"
Cappie opens the door and then looks to me.
"After you m'lady".
I give him a glare and then smile wickedly, walking in front of him as he follows behind me, closing the door.
As soon as we're out in the hall alone, I give him a death glare, my arms crossed.
"What's that look for?", He laughs, amused.
"That's for almost giving a pregnant girl a heart attack!", I say and then turn to walk down the hall.
"Sorry", He laughs but I don't turn around to meet his eyes, I just keep walking.
Once we get to the elevator, I feel his hands on my side, pulling me around to look at him.
"Okay this is me apologizing", He looks at me with a faux pout and I shake my head at him, unable to stifle in a laugh.
"Fine, you're forgiven. Besides we can't be at odds when we show up at this class because everyone will be older, and probably married, and they're gonna be looking at us like we're teenagers", I sigh as we get into the elevator.
"You care too much what other people think", Cappie shrugs.
"I just didn't expect to be doing this class right after what we… did last night", I explain, looking up at him.
"Hmm…", He looks smug. "Are you saying you're gonna have a hard time at this birthing class because you're not going to be able to control yourself around me? Casey Cartwright, I didn't think I had that much pull over you".
I roll my eyes in annoyance.
"No, that's not what I'm saying", I argue, acting like what he's saying is ridiculous to me. Although… it's exactly what I'm worrying about.
We walk out to his car now, the outside air crisp and slightly colder than I'd expected.
I get in the passenger seat of his car and he turns the car on and I'm just waiting for it to warm up a bit.
"All I'm saying is that I'm pretty sure these birthing classes require us to touch a bunch and I don't want it to be weird", I explain as I pull my seatbelt on.
"Why would that be weird?", He scoffs. "It's not anything we haven't done a billion times before".
"I just… let's promise we'll keep it professional in the class", I look at him as he backs out of the spot we're in, looking over his shoulder.
"Okay promise. We can act like the highest level of intimacy we've ever had is a handshake", He laughs. "You can think of me as your colleague".
I scoff at him then.
"And… I want to get a slushie on the way home", I practically whine. "A blue one".
"Alright", He laughs. "I think I can make that happen".
I was right, the other couples in this class all look to be at least 30, a lot of them even older. I always felt slightly insecure whenever I had to go to doctors office appointments with other moms. Heck, I even felt insecure when I went to the grocery store and got odd looks from judgey old ladies whose eyes I could feel on my bump.
I try to tell myself that I'm 22 and I have the same right to be here as much as any other older woman.
"Alright, thank you everyone for coming today", The instructor, Emily, smiles at us.
Emily looked to be about 45. She had a maxi skirt on, about 3 scarfs and feathered earrings. She looked like the definition of bohemian.
We're all sitting in a semi circle on yoga mats, Cappie behind me like the rest of the birthing partners.
"This reminds me of when me and Dale had our Pilates phase", Cappie whispers in my ear and I laugh.
"So you're all here today because you want to learn about the wonders of giving birth", Emily smiles. "It is a beautiful, natural, and often very spiritual journey, bringing your creation earthside".
Actually I'm here because I'm freaking petrified of giving birth and don't know how the hell I'm gonna do it. But… sure.
I look behind me to see Cappie looking intently, but also trying to stifle in a laugh.
"Today we're just going to go over some simple strategies to make your birthing process easier. Most of our exercises today are going to pertain to a typical vaginal birthing process", She explains. "We're going to be sticking to the Lamaze technique. But first we're going to watch a short video about labour".
"Oh crap", Cappie whispers in my ear. "I wasn't aware that there were visual aids. I may pass out".
I look back at him.
"Cap", I laugh. "These other people are gonna think we're crazy okay? Shh".
Emily pulls down a screen and turns off the lights, letting the video project against it.
The video isn't quite as bad as we'd thought. It just went over the Lamaze technique and how it can help during labour and that often doing these breathing techniques can help you avoid having to get any pain intervention at all. Yeah…. I'll believe that when I see it.
"Alrighty!", Emily smiles and turns the lights back on. "So as you can see, breathing techniques can be incredibly powerful. It's something that you and your birthing partner should learn to feel more in control during labour. There's also a couple positions we're going to go over that, along with the breathing, can help ease the discomfort".
"Positions you say", Cappie smirks, whispering to me.
I glare back at him.
"Sorry. I'm being an inappropriate business partner, aren't I?", He sighs jokingly.
"Does anyone want to be our volunteer couple today?", Emily asks. "I'm going to show you a great position to lay in".
"Oh we can!", Cappie puts his hand up, smirking at Emily.
"Cap!", I turn back to him with a whisper, giving him a look.
I didn't like to draw attention to myself. And I certainly didn't need to in a class where I already felt lost.
But of course, Cappie was just being Cappie. Always making things more interesting.
"Great! Thanks you two", She comes over to us.
"Casey and… Cappie?"
She looks at our 'hello my name is' name tags, seeming a little perplexed by Cappie's name.
"Yep", Cappie nods with a smile and I give her an awkward smile as well.
"Alright, well thank you for volunteering and for allowing me to be with you on your journey to parenthood", she smiles and comes over to kneel on the ground beside us.
Up close she smells strongly of something earthy, plant like. Her earrings jingle as she settles beside us.
"So we have our woman here, Casey", She explains. "We're just going to have you lay down like this".
She places me on my back, my legs stretching out.
"And the birthing partner is going to put their legs out like so", She guides Cappie's legs apart and then scoots me up so I'm in between his legs. "And then support her head like this".
I feel Cappie holding my neck in his lap then.
"One hand supporting her head, and the other on the belly", She moves Cappie's hands. "Perfect!"
She steps back from us, standing up to look at us.
"Now your head can rest against your partner, their energy transferring to you", she explains.
Oh Jesus. Of course we would come to the most hippie dippie birthing class there is.
"Can you feel my energy transferring?", Cappie whispers, joking with me.
"And the other hand is placed on her belly, which can often be a calming force", Emily smiles. "Now, while in this position you're just going to want to take deep, cleansing breaths. Fill up your belly with air and let it out slowly. Do you think you can try that Casey?"
I'm cursing Cappie out in my mind for volunteering us.
"Yeah for sure", I nod up and down, giving the best smile I can.
I try to do as she says, following her instructions and trying to mimic the way she's breathing.
But it's a little hard with Cappie's hands on me, laying against him like this. His touch is kind of the only thing my brain is registering right now, bringing my mind back to last night.
"Now during labour, due to the stress and the pain your body is going to be experiencing, you may be more inclined to have shallow, quick breaths. But by opening up your breath more, drawing out longer, deeper breaths, you're going to be calming your whole system", She explains as I keep doing as she says, the other couples around me trying it as well, looking at us for how to model it. "Another great thing that can calm you down while in this position is to imagine your vagina as a flower, blooming into fruition".
Oh god.
Cappie scoffs against me then, unable to hide his laughing.
"A beautiful rose, blooming, allowing new life to enter the world. Because remember ladies, you are powerful, beautiful beings. And your vaginas are the gateway to new life", She explains with vigour.
"Shush", I whisper back to Cappie, who seems to be having a hard time with this. To be fair, I wasn't doing so well myself. I was barely keeping my own giggling in. I'm sure he could tell, being right against me.
"Now let's all try it together. Partners make sure to encourage her during this process, remind her of her womanhood", Emily says with a smile, truly believing what she's saying.
"You are a woman and that's beautiful", Cappie says to me in a joking tone. "See, I'm totally doing it right!"
I can't help my laugh now, Cappie's comment making me giggle as my body rattles against him.
"Casey that breathing is much too shallow", Emily catches me and I have to try and get myself together, try to stop giggling. "Aim for longer, more peaceful breaths. Your belly should be moving up and down as your breath fills your stomach up with air".
"Okay", I nod awkwardly, but when she turns around to go talk to another couple, I look back to Cappie as much as I am able to in this position. "I'm pretty sure my stomach is already filled to capacity with baby".
Cappie laughs then, his hand trailing across my bump.
"Hey you wanna just accept that labour is gonna suck and the one and only solace is gonna be whatever drugs we can get them to give you?", He whispers to me with a laugh.
"Totally", I nod up and down, surrendering to my fate. "You wanna get out of here?"
"Yes", Cappie nods with a laugh and I sit up from against him.
"I just have to… go to the washroom", I say, Emily nodding.
"Alright it's just down the hall hun", she directs me.
I try my best to get up off this yoga mat but am majorly failing at it with my belly weighing me down.
"You know", Cappie says. "I should probably help her, public bathrooms can be so confusing".
Cappie stands up and then helps me up from the floor as he gives Emily a smile, acting.
She nods at us, not suspecting that we're making a break for it.
"C'mon my little pumpkin pie", Cappie cooes at me, playing around, definitely amused by this situation. He puts his arms around me, grabs my purse from beside us and guides me out of this room. Thank god.
"Well that was an hour of our lives we won't ever get back", Cappie laughs as we sit in his car.
I'm giggling with him as we sit in the parking lot outside of a mini mart where I'd just acquired my slushie. It was the one where we'd come to in freshman year, the one where Cappie had confessed on Valentine's Day that it was where he first realized he was in love with me.
"I feel like I just escaped from prison", I giggle, taking a drink from my blue slushie. The craving for it today had been strong. I used to get them all the time when we'd come here freshman year.
"We're on the run", Cappie laughs. "Maybe we should dye our hair".
I laugh at his joke.
"Sorry, that was my idea. I think I'll just get my pregnancy info from online. That class scared me off", I laugh.
"It's okay, I thought it was funny", Cappie smirks. "Not to mention…"
He gives me a playful grin, mischief in his tone, and I sit up in my seat, wanting to know what he was up to now.
"It did give me time to get you out of the apartment so I could have something dropped off", he grins at me smugly.
"What?", I question.
"You wanna go home and see?", He looks excited and I nod up and down, matching his energy.
He turns the car on, pulling out and onto the street, going the short drive home in anticipation.
"Sooo…", I probe him as we're in the elevator. "Is it food?"
"No", He laughs. "But we can get you whatever food you want".
"Is it a puppy?", I joke with him.
"Nope, I think a baby is responsibility enough", he laughs.
The elevator dings as we get to our floor.
I walk down the hall quickly in anticipation then unlock the door and we go in.
"Well the apartment still looks the same", I look around with a laugh.
"Look in every room", He says with a grin.
I give him a quizzical look and then walk down to my bedroom.
"Oh my gosh!", I let out, Cappie still behind me, just making his way into my room now.
The pink rocking chair I wanted sits in the corner of my room beside the rest of the baby's current set up.
I turn around to look at Cappie in surprise.
"But I didn't win the bet", I say to him, a smile unwavering on my face.
Cappie merely shrugs.
"Eh, I was always gonna get it for you. After you told me about it that day I actually called to put it on hold. Up until last night I really did think you were going to win though", He laughs.
I give him a look and then jump into his arms, surprising him a little bit, his stance softening as he puts his arms around me.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you!", I jump up and down.
He smiles big then, watching my excitement.
"Well go ahead, take it for a spin", He leads me over to it and I sit down in it.
"It's perfect", I smile, rocking back and forth, my hand on my belly. "I just… don't know if I can get out of it at the moment, but I love it".
I giggle and smile at him.
"Good", He grins.
"How did you get it in here without me knowing?"
"Well…", He looks mischievous. "That's kind of why Rusty came over, I arranged it with him. I brought it home the other day, I was storing it in Rusty's apartment to keep it a surprise from you. So while we were gone Rusty brought it up here".
"Awww", I smile. "Well thank you Cap. You didn't have to do this".
"Yeah I did", he shrugs. "You barely ask for anything so I know that if you wanted this, you should get it".
In my mind I always felt like I did ask a lot of him. Asking him to be there for the baby, asking him to move in with me and leave the Kappa Tau house, asking him to be a dad unexpectedly at a young age, urging him to graduate. It made me feel like I was putting way too much responsibility on him.
But if there's one thing that these past few months have taught me about him it's that Cappie can handle it. He was growing up.
"This means a lot to me", I beam at him, trying not the cry in this moment. "Thanks for doing this".
He smiles at me then for awhile before shrugging, I think unsure how to take a compliment.
"It's just a chair Case", He says like it's no big deal but I give him a smirking look, my eyes soft, trying to make sure he knew it wasn't just a chair to me, it was the gesture.
"Can you help me out of it?", I give him a giggle and hold my arms out.
"Sure", he laughs and pulls me up, taking my hands in his. "C'mon let's get you some dinner".