(HBP) CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Seventeen

That Halloween marked the first birthday in six years that Ellie would spend without Fred.

"You're sort of still spending it with me," he pointed out to her the night before her birthday in her dreams.

She snuggled closer to him. They were back on their favourite rooftop spot, but it wasn't the same as being there in real life with him—never was. "I'll take what I can get."

He wrapped his arms tighter around her, but she could feel the tension in his grip. "I tried to convince Dumbledore to make an exception for the day, even though it was a weekday. He very politely declined, though."

It was hard not to resent Dumbledore for that. Ellie had never cared much for birthdays—had even forgotten about the last one entirely—but this one was different. In the wizarding world, turning seventeen meant becoming an adult.

And there were quite a few things she wanted to try as an adult.

She felt Fred give a sensual sort of groan. "Your mind is not allowed to go to such places when we aren't really together."

She squirmed just far enough out of his grip to look him the eyes. "'When we aren't really together' is an improvement over 'ever.'"

He laughed, but his expression was guarded. "There's no reason to go there tonight—or for the foreseeable future. No night stays at Hogwarts, remember?"

Her heart was starting to pound. He still wasn't saying "no" to the idea like he usually did. The thought excited her, but it also made her feel incredibly nervous.

"Hey." He took her face in his hands and fixed his gaze on hers. "There's no reason to be nervous, El. We would never do anything before you were ready, and even if you were ready, we would still talk about it. Extensively."

She laughed. "Hey—I'll take it."

"Good. Now, then. If all went according to plan, you'll see a couple of gifts from me when you wake up in the morning, and one from George, as well. Well, sort of from George. It's not exactly a tangible object."

She crawled all the way into his lap so that she was straddling him. "I don't care about presents. I just care about you."

The love and desire in his eyes was impossible to miss, but there was sadness there, too, and she knew why: no moment like this could feel truly intimate when they weren't really together.

When Ellie woke up the next morning, most of her suitemates had already headed downstairs. There wasn't exactly a plethora of presents, and she had a feeling that the few presents there were were all from Fred.

The bouquet of roses on her nightstand alone was enough for her.

That's a nice sentiment, but you should really open the box and the envelope, too.

She smiled to herself as she reached for the box, which was wrapped with tacky wrapping paper that reminded her all too much of the Burrow. Inside the box was another box—a wooden one, seemingly hollow, with a single, gold button on it.

It's an enchanted music box, he told her. Press that button, and a speaker pops out. It's set to play all the music you've ever made—not just the People's Princess songs.

But… how? she asked him. We never recorded any of that.

It wasn't easy. George had the foresight to record all the music we made at the Yule Ball, but I had to resort to more painful measures to get the songs that came before that.

She thought of Oliver, who had snuck recordings of her early music to Jensen to convince him to sign her, and had a feeling she knew what Fred meant by "more painful measures." Yikes. And he actually replied to you?

Yep. Seven words: "Called it. Treat her right this time." Along with the recordings.

She smiled to herself. Oliver had, of course, called their getting back together the night she spent at his apartment. It was the reason things hadn't gone farther between them. If it had been up to Ellie, they would have started a full-blown relationship.

Don't remind me. I think that was the only reason I could stomach writing to him—knowing that he was the reason that didn't happen. Even if he was only doing it to protect his own heart.

Her smile saddened. It wouldn't have mattered, Fred. The end result would have been the same. I'm glad, too, though—for his sake. Though I think I wouldn't have had quite as tough a go of it if I'd had him.

She heard his regretful sigh in her head. I know.

A wave of guilt washed over her at that. Fred had been the reason for all of it, but he had done it to protect her, and she didn't want him to feel guilty about it anymore. She reached for the envelope, eager for a distraction for them both.

Inside the envelope were four postcards—at least, at first she thought they were postcards. But the images on them, like most magical documents, moved.

They were houses, she realized as she watched the slideshows of bedrooms, bathrooms, kitchens, and homes play out. Each "postcard" was a different house.

Well? he asked after she'd sifted through all four. Which one is the winner?

The winner of what? she asked, though she had a feeling she already knew the answer.

The winner of the home you'd like to live in when you graduate. Assuming you're willing to have a couple of weird, identical twins hanging about.

She may have been able to put together what he meant, but she was no less shocked by it. But… you've only been in business for less than a year. How can you already afford a house?

Business is booming. Between that and the money you scared Bagman into giving us, we had enough for a down payment. We'll expect you to contribute eventually, of course.

She was so overcome with emotion, she thought she might cry. For him to consult her at all on his home purchase was thoughtful enough, but outright telling her that it would be her house one day?

Even more than the ring, it felt like a promise. It felt safe to believe that Fred wasn't going to leave her again.

The rest of Ellie's birthday wasn't quite so wonderful.

She didn't mind that people forgot; she forgot plenty of other people's birthdays, and could hardly judge. What got to her was the isolation she felt—to the point where Draco was the first person to talk to her all day.

"Tell me," he said, pretending to pay attention to the smelly brew Slughorn had instructed them to concoct that day. "What ever happened with you and your little B.A. group? Weren't you all inseparable last year?"

Ellie had to hand it to Draco: he was perceptive. Katie had been distant from the whole group since being Imperiused, since she was still recovering from its effects. Liam still seemed bothered by Ellie's outburst the last time they'd met up. Neville and Luna were still perfectly friendly to Ellie, but it wasn't the same.

"Why?" she grumbled, loathing the reminder. "Death Eater tribe asking about us?"

She had barely even meant it as a joke, but, to her surprise, that was how he took it. "As if. They don't concern themselves with the likes of you."

"Right—except when they locked me in a basement and tortured me relentlessly for half a summer."

That one, she had meant as a joke. But he didn't take that way.

His eyes scanned her face, neck, and even the exposed skin on her arms. It wasn't sexual, she could tell; he was looking at the scars and burns that lingered from her time in the cage.

"Is it true they never fed you?" he asked. His tone was different now—quieter. "Never gave you water? Never let you sleep?"

Was it possible that she was detecting actual empathy from him?

Not likely. Gotta be a ruse.

But she wasn't sure Fred was right about that.

"It's true," she told Draco.

He gave an almost imperceptible shudder, then looked her straight in the eyes. For the first time, she felt like he was actually seeing her for more than just the rival girl he'd always gone out of his way to bully. "How could you possibly want a friendship with me, knowing I'm one of them?"

She parted her lips to give him another quip—a jovial who says I want a friendship with the likes of you?

But he was being sincere—he sincerely felt for her pain—and she couldn't bring herself to make light of that.

Also, he was the first person to speak to her out loud on her birthday.

"Because you aren't one of them yet," she told them. "I don't care if you have a Dark Mark or if you've been inducted or any of that—you haven't yet succeeded in hurting anyone. And I'd like for it to stay that way."

Somewhere deep in the recesses of those piercing blue eyes, she saw that he wanted that, too.

When all her classes were finished for the day, Ellie trudged back to the common room without going to the Halloween feast. Her appetite had never quite returned after the month of starvation, and though she usually forced herself to eat, she wasn't in the mood.

To her surprise, when she reached the common room, Neville was there with a balloon.

"Sorry I didn't say it sooner," he said. "Forgot altogether, if I'm honest—until someone mentioned the Halloween feast and I put it together."

She smiled, but his words tugged at her heartstrings. Ellie had no idea when Neville's birthday was. Granted, hers was a bit easier to remember, but still.

How could Harry, at the very least, not have remembered? The boy she had once given her heart to?

Then again, he had a lot on his mind—not to mention, he was still a bit cross with her over her budding civility with Draco.

"Thank you, Neville," she said, accepting the balloon and hugging him.

"I know I didn't have time to get you a present, but I was planning on offering my songwriting help—y'know, like we used to in the good old days? If you're interested."

Ellie could hardly remember the last time she'd employed those particular services of Neville's—probably before the Yule Ball. She missed writing songs with him. She missed him.

"I'd like that," she said. "In fact, I have just the thing to get our juices flowing."

As she ran upstairs to retrieve the music box Fred had given her, she decided that it wasn't such a bad birthday, after all.

"I'm such a bad friend!" Hermione exclaimed an hour later, plopping down onto the couch next to Ellie and Neville, who were in the midst of putting together a song called How I Feel. "I can't believe I forgot!"

Ellie laughed. "It's okay, Hermione. You're still a good friend."

"Can I be honest about something?" Hermione asked Ellie. She glanced at Neville, frowning. "It's sort of… personal."

"Say no more," Neville said easily. "All this songwriting worked up an appetite, anyway—I think I'll go and catch the tail end of the Halloween feast. Want anything, Ellie?"

Please say yes. You need to eat, El.

She did her best not to roll her eyes at Fred's voice in her head as she said politely to Neville, "Sure—a box of anything vegetarian, please."

Thank you, beautiful.

As soon as Neville was gone, Hermione admitted what was really going on: "Lavender told me about her crush on Ron."

"Oh." Ellie had almost forgotten about the crush—and the part where she had advised Lavender to talk to Hermione about it. "How did that go?"

"Well, fine, if you're Lavender!" Hermione wailed, putting her face in her hands. "I completely denied having any feelings for him and told her she was welcome to do as she pleased."

Hermione had never admitted otherwise to Ellie, but Ellie had still known. Apparently Hermione knew she knew. "That's understandable, Hermione. It's an awkward situation, and you don't own the guy."

"But what am I going to do? The Gryffindor-Slytherin game is coming up, and if we win, she's sure to make a move on him. It'd be the perfect opportunity."

"Well, you could always tell him how you feel," Ellie pointed out. "Beat her to the punch."

Hermione looked horrified. "What if he doesn't feel the same way? What if he does? Either way, it'll ruin the friendship!"

Ellie couldn't help but grin at how familiar this all sounded. Then again, her confronting Fred the first time around had ruined the friendship for over half a year—and had even spilled into the following year.

I really hate when your mind goes there. To be more specific, I really hate myself when your mind goes there.

Well, sorry, but I can't help it. Maybe you shouldn't have rejected me and then abandoned me.

As soon as she thought it, she wished she could take it back. His silence only made it worse.

"Look," she said to Hermione, heaving a sigh and hoping that Fred was still listening. "Anyone with eyes can see that Ron's crazy about you. Now, I won't lie to you—if he's anything like his idiot brother, he'll find a way to psych himself out of it under the guise of 'protecting the friendship' when really he's just scared and trying to protect his heart. And that would be hard for you. But if he's anything like his idiot brother, it'll be well worth it when he finally gets over himself and admits his feelings for you."

Sorry—was that supposed to make me feel better?

I said it was well worth it, didn't I?

He groaned in her head, but it was playful. At least, it was playful enough.

"I can't do it," Hermione whispered, shaking her head. "I saw what you went through that year, Ellie. With everything else going on—with Voldemort and the Death Eaters and Harry and all that—I have to keep things in perspective."

"Then you're going to have to find a way to tolerate Lavender and Ron," Ellie said, giving Hermione's hand a sympathetic squeeze. "Because something tells me the poor bloke isn't going to know how to say no to her."

Poor Hermione - but then, I think Lav and Ron has to happen to make him realize his true feelings, you know? Hope you enjoyed and stay tuned for the next!