I hope you all had a lovely Easter (at least those of you who celebrate). Mine were pretty stressful and sometimes exhausting, but at least we have enough chocolate now to last until Christmas.
My new semester started this week, along with a part-time internship. What I'm trying to say with that is that the update speed of this story is going to slow down a bit. But hopefully I'll still be able to manage one chapter a week.
I hope you'll enjoy this one!
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Kate unlocked the door to the loft, unable to hide her grin as she turned towards Alexis, who was smiling just as wide as her. She was holding a bag in her hands and nervously shifted from one foot to the other.
Before Kate even pushed the door all the way open, she heard Castle's voice from inside the loft. "Hey, you're home early!"
His steps were already approaching her when Kate gave the door a final little push, and it opened completely. She spotted Castle just as he laid eyes on her, his daughter standing right behind her, and stopped in his tracks.
"Alexis." He said quietly, looking confused from one smiling face to the other.
Kate grinned at him and walked into the loft, meeting him with a light touch to his chest and a soft kiss to his lips. He hardly returned the gesture, too caught up in surprise.
"Look who I brought back home." She whispered into his ear so low that only he could hear it.
He shot her a confused glance and then looked over to Alexis. What had she just said?
His eyes fell to the bag in his daughter's hands, then wandered back up to her smiling face. His jaw dropped as Kate's words and realization sank in.
"You're coming home?" He breathed, and his feet started moving on their own accord.
He saw Alexis nodding for a second before he reached out for her and pulled her into a crushing hug. Her bag fell to the floor as she hugged him back and laughed.
"I would love to. Supposed you haven't turned my room into a workout room already?"
Castle let out a laugh that was half a sob and hugged her even tighter. "Ha, you know that would never happen. I hate sports."
Alexis laughed again, and Kate could see a few tears rolling over her cheek as she looked over her father's shoulder and mouthed, 'Thank you.'
Kate just nodded slightly and let the happiness of the picture in front of her consume her. After a couple more moments Castle and Alexis pulled apart and Castle picked up the bag from the floor and carried it into the loft, kicking the door shut behind him after he had pulled Alexis through. He had a look on his face as if he would never let her leave again.
His gaze met Kate's, and Kate swallowed down the lump in her throat at the pure joy on Castle's face. Alexis smiled from one to the other and gently took her bag from Castle's hands.
"I'll take this up into my room. We'll figure out the rest later, okay? I want to talk to Grams."
Castle nodded at her and pulled her against him for another quick hug. "I'm so glad to have you back." He whispered into her ear, and Alexis smiled at him, making his heart feel light and warm.
"I'm happy to be back, too," she replied, then stepped away to head upstairs.
Castle's gaze followed her for a few more seconds, then he looked back at Kate, slowly shaking his head in disbelief as he walked over to her.
"How on earth did you do that?" He asked as he hugged her just as tightly as he had Alexis only minutes before.
Returning his embrace, Kate chuckled and said, "I don't know. I just told her what I would have needed to hear at her age."
Castle shook his head again, not letting her go the slightest. "You're going to be the most amazing mom, do you know that?"
Kate smiled against his shoulder and whispered, "I hope you're right."
"No," Castle said, slowly pulling away to look at her. "Trust me, those are advanced parenting skills."
Laughter erupted from Kate's mouth. "We will see how useful they are when I try to get a newborn to sleep by explaining why sleep is important."
Castle chuckled. "Well, she has fifty percent of your genes, so there's a chance it might even work."
A shiver went down her spine at the tiny word 'she'. For a moment, she considered telling Castle that she had shared their secret with Alexis but decided against it. She didn't want to ruin this moment in any way, and she trusted Alexis that she wouldn't tell him either.
"I can't wait to meet her." She whispered instead. "Or him. We shouldn't be too sure it really is a girl."
Castle smiled, pulling her close again. "Me neither." He said softly. "No matter he or she. Just as long as it's happy and healthy."
Kate nodded in agreement and leaned back to look at him with a little smirk. "And since it looks like he or she is doing just that, I think it's time we tell the team."
Castle's brows shot up in surprise. Consumed by the happiness he had been feeling since their appointment and now with Alexis back home, he hadn't wasted a thought about the fact that they still needed to tell the team at work.
"Are you sure?" He still remembered how reluctant she had been to tell people, and even though everything had been perfect at her appointment the day before, he could easily imagine it would still be a big step for her. Especially since many things would start to change for her as soon as the team and Captain Gates knew.
Kate nodded. "Yeah, we can't put that off forever. And I think now is the right time. I'd rather tell them than have them discover it themselves as soon as I can't hide it anymore." She ran one hand over the small bump on her belly. "And that probably won't be long anymore."
Castle smiled at the thought. "I guess you're right," he replied, covering her hand with his.
She smiled before a thought crossed her mind, and she slightly furrowed her brow. "But remember, nothing too special for telling them."
As they rode up the elevator to the precinct the next day, Kate felt nervous. Today would change a lot, and even though she looked forward to sharing their news with their team, she still felt anxious about how things would go from now.
Castle and she still hadn't really discussed how they would manage her job and the baby, and she was glad she had been able to put it off until now. She knew she would have to step out of the job for a couple of weeks before and after the baby was born. And with that she was fine, alone for the physical aspects.
But she couldn't make up her mind about how she wanted to handle things after those couple of weeks. She felt incredibly torn thinking about it. She loved her job, and it made up a big part of who she was, she couldn't image not doing it for a long time. On the other hand, she couldn't wait to meet her baby and absorb every second she would get to spend with it.
It felt impossible to find a way that made it possible to combine both aspects of her life. And since it frustrated her she avoided thinking about it most of the time. But she knew she would soon have to face it, expecting at least Captain Gates to ask her how she planned to go on with her career.
She sighed as the elevator doors slid open, pushing the thought aside again. For now, she would focus on telling the team and not let the moment be ruined by worry about the future.
Castle glanced at her as he heard her little sigh. "Everything okay?" he asked, and she nodded with a smile.
"Yeah, just a little nervous."
Castle squeezed her hand and held it as they walked into the bullpen. He looked over to the breakroom and nodded in its direction as he spotted Ryan and Esposito getting their first cup of coffee.
"Rip the band-aid off right away?" He smiled, and Kate nodded.
With every step closer to the break room, Kate felt more nervous. She didn't fear their reaction, but she figured they would be quite shocked, and she just hoped they would be happy for them.
Castle opened the door to the break room, and Esposito and Ryan looked up at them.
"Morning," Esposito grumbled and looked back down to his coffee.
"Good morning," Kate answered as she closed the door behind herself, nervously looking over at Castle.
He looked back at her and smirked and once more Kate hoped he wouldn't pull a scene. She really wasn't in the mood for anything like that.
Castle cleared his throat much louder than necessary and looked expectantly at the other two men in the room. When they didn't look up, he repeated the sound, even a little louder, and now first Ryan and then Esposito looked up.
They looked confused for a moment, but when they spotted Castle's smirk, their expression instantly turned suspicious.
"What is it, Castle?" Ryan asked, arching his brow.
Kate eyed him just as curious as Esposito and Ryan did and watched him slowly pulling his wallet from the back of his jeans.
"I'd like to show you something," Castle answered and as he opened his wallet Esposito rolled his eyes.
"Man, we don't need to see your new black American Express."
Castle smilingly shook his head as he looked down to the piece of paper her pulled from his wallet, which Kate immediately recognized as one of the pictures from her scan two days before.
Wordlessly, Castle stretched out his hand and turned the picture between his fingers so that Ryan and Esposito could see it. Seeing their completely different expressions made Kate smile in amusement.
Ryan's eyes immediately lit up with realization, and a grin spread over his lips. Esposito looked utterly confused for a moment before his jaw dropped almost to the ground.
"I knew it!" Ryan exclaimed and was already halfway through the room to hug Kate. She returned the hug and felt relief washing over her.
"I knew it!" He repeated as he pulled away, grinning and turning to Castle to hug him as well.
Castle chuckled but looked a little confused. "What do you mean, you knew it?"
"Oh, come on, you guys," Ryan said, slightly shaking his head. "I've been down this road not even a year ago. I know the signs." He looked from one to the other, still grinning widely. "I already told Jenny it wouldn't take long for you anymore when we visited with Sarah Grace."
Castle laughed, looking at Kate and felt happy to see that she had relaxed and was smiling too. He reached out for her hand and pulled her to his side when she took it.
"Actually, that was the day we found out."
Ryan's eyes grew wide in surprise. "Really? Oh wow, that surprises me. I would have thought my sweet little daughter would have been what convinced you to start trying."
"No, she wasn't," Kate replied with a smile. "But she was for sure a wonderful confirmation that it was the right decision."
Kate's eyes then fell on Esposito, who was still standing frozen in the middle of the room.
"Javi?" She asked carefully, and mentioning his name seemed to bring Esposito out of his shell-shocked state.
A smile started to spread over her lips, and Kate felt relief flooding through her once more.
"I can't believe it," Esposito said as he walked closer to them. "I mean, what?" He grinned and shook his head in pure disbelief. "You guys are having a baby?"
Kate nodded, and finally, Esposito pulled her into a bone-crushing hug.
"Kate Beckett is having a baby." He said, still shaking his head. "Has the world gone mad?" He turned to Castle and held out his hand and Castle took it before the two men also hugged each other briefly.
"Congratulations, man," Esposito said and chuckled. "However, you managed to talk her into that."
Castle just grinned at Kate, and none of them felt the need to share the personal information that Kate had actually started the whole process of trying for a baby. Maybe some point later, they would tell that story, but right now, it didn't matter.
"When will the baby be here?" Esposito asked and Castle replied "In August."
"Oh, it won't even be a year younger than Sarah Grace!" Ryan started, his voice full of excitement. "If you are having a boy, we could pair them up when they're older, and then we could celebrate the holidays together!" He looked over at his partner. "You'd be invited as well." He grinned, and Esposito replied with a quick grimace.
Castle chuckled. "Do you really think our friendship could survive if our teenage boy did to your little daughter what we all know teenage boys like to do to teenage girls?"
Ryan's smile faded, and he seemed to turn a little pale.
"Besides, we probably won't be getting in that situation anyway. If it stays like what the doctor told us two days ago, we'll have a little girl as well."
Kate rolled her eyes but smiled. It seemed like she wasn't the only one who had trouble keeping this information to herself.
"That's not sure, though," she said, throwing Castle a scolding glance. "All she gave us was a tendency." No one had to know that in her thoughts, she was already thinking of the baby as a girl herself.
Ryan grinned. "Then our girls could grow up together and be best friends. I hope it's a girl. I like that idea much better!"
"I fear I have to tell you that there'll still be enough boys interested in your daughter. Trust me, I've already been there, and it's not funny," Castle said, a shadow hushing over his face alone at the thought of Alexis's no use ex-boyfriend.
Kate sighed. "Or all you overprotective daddies could calm down a little and let your daughters live their lives."
Esposito chuckled and gently bumped his fist against Kate's shoulder. "I bet when your daughter brings home her first date, you'll be far more intimidating than Castle."
Castle opened his mouth to talk back but closed it again when he realized Esposito was probably right. Getting in Kate's way or messing with someone she was protective about was never a good idea. A soft smile blossomed on his lips as he realized once again how lucky their kid would be to have her as their mother.
"Speaking of intimidating." Ryan said and pointed over his shoulder into the direction of Captain Gates's office. "Have you told Gates yet?"
Kate shook her head. "No, we wanted to tell you first. But she's the next one on the list. I'll probably just get over with it right away."
She sighed again before smiling at the three men in front of her, briefly squeezing Castle's hand back as he reached out for her. "You're sure you don't want me to come along?"
"I think it's better if I tell her alone," Kate said and pulled her hand away. She was happy the boys reacted so sincerely happy, but she knew she still had to face the much more challenging part.
All three pairs of eyes in the break room followed Kate as she walked out and over to Captain Gates's office door, gently knocking against it.
The Captain waved for her to come in, and Castle watched Kate take a seat and start talking through the glass. He could easily tell how anxious she was feeling because of how her jaw was clenched and her whole body tensed.
And he could also tell the exact moment Kate told Captain Gates the news because suddenly she turned her head in a sharp movement and shot him a glare through the windows that made his blood run cold. He tried to remind himself that he had done nothing wrong but still he felt like he had been caught doing something very naughty.
"Gates doesn't look thrilled," Ryan said quietly beside him, and from his other side, he heard Esposito's voice. "No surprise. She'll lose her best detective to maternity leave and raising babies."
"Don't tell me you think Beckett will be a stay-at-home mom," Ryan replied and turned to Castle, who kept staring over at the office, where Gates and Kate were still talking.
"Is she going to be a stay-at-home mom?" Ryan asked, his voice full of doubt.
Castle shrugged his shoulders, his eyes never leaving Kate who seemed to slowly relax a little. "I don't think so. I mean, I don't know, we haven't talked about that yet." If he was being honest with himself, he was glad they had been able to avoid that conversation until now. He feared it had the potential to turn into a quite heated argument.
"Well, you should. I'm sure Gates will want to know what your plans are." Esposito said, and Castle nodded slowly.
He was right; they would have to talk about it sooner rather than later. But right now, Kate was getting up from the chair in front of Captain Gates's desk, and the thoughts drained from Castle's mind again. He saw Kate smiling and taking the Captain's hand, shaking it firmly before turning and leaving the office.
She didn't return to the break room but headed for her desk, and Castle was sure that was a sign that she preferred to discuss Captain Gate's reaction alone rather than in front of Ryan and Esposito. He felt a hand on his shoulder and heard Esposito whisper, "Good luck, man," before he patted him on the back as a sign to go over to Kate.
Castle's feet slowly started to move, and all the way over to Kate's desk, he felt Captain Gates's glare on his back and the curious glances of the rest of the team as well. He reached his chair by her side and slowly sat down, nervously running his palms over his thighs as she looked up at him with a little smile.
"And?" Was all he could bring himself to say, and Kate's smile grew a little wider.
"It went better than I expected it to," she said with a little shrug. Castle's tortured expression was quite funny, but even if the temptation to tease him a little more was big, she decided to redeem him from his anxiety.
"She's happy for us," she said and watched the instant relief settle on Castle's face. "Though her first words were - and I quote her - 'Oh my God, another one of that kind.'" Kate added with a grin.
Castle's brows shot up and then furrowed. "What is that supposed to mean?" He turned on his chair to look over at Captain Gate's office, who had returned to working the files on her desk.
"I think it's her way of saying she's gotten used to you," Kate said, and Castle snorted.
"There would be better ways to tell me that," he grumbled and turned back to Kate. "And what else did she say?"
Kate hesitantly shrugged her shoulders. "Not much, really. I am allowed to work in the field as long as I feel capable and comfortable, and I should tell her my plans for my maternity leave as soon as I know them."
Castle nodded slowly and stayed quiet for a moment. "And, do you know them yet?"
Kate lowered her gaze to her desk, keeping her hands busy with adjusting some papers. "No, I don't." She replied quietly.
After another few moments of silence, Castle dared to ask, "And when do you think we'll figure that plan out?"
Kate sighed and rested the papers in her hands on her desk. "I don't know, Castle," she said and carefully looked up at him. He almost looked a little scared, and she didn't like that.
"Look," She started. "I know I've been the first one who wanted this baby, and I still do, more than anything else. But I also love my job. I can't imagine not doing it just as much as I can't imagine leaving our baby alone."
Castle offered her a little smile. "Well, it wouldn't be alone. I would be there too, and I would think of myself as a pretty decent father since I already have gotten one kid to reach adulthood."
Kate arched her brows at him, and he sighed, giving up the try to lighten up the conversation with his joking tone. "I wouldn't mind staying home with the baby, so you can return to work whenever you like."
"That's the problem," Kate said. "I don't know when I would like to return to work. I know I'll take a couple of months off, but after that, I really have no idea." She leaned back in her chair and looked a little defeated.
Castle took a moment to consider her answer, then gave her a soft smile. "Then maybe we should just wait until you know. You hand in your maternity leave for the first couple of months and maybe a few more at first. And if you feel like you want to start working again, I am sure Gates will have you back at any time. And if you feel like you want to stay home a little longer, you should be flexible enough to extend your leave."
Kate nodded slowly, thinking about his proposal. Usually, she would prefer to have everything planned out. But this time, she had to admit she just couldn't plan it since she had no idea what to expect.
"I will have to discuss this with Gates, but it sounds like a plan." She said and smiled a little.
"And maybe there are other ways to find a compromise we can't see just yet," Castle said. He reached out his hand for her, and she took it.
"You know, "He said, drawing a little circle to the back of her hand with his thumb. "I'm glad you're so open about this. I was a little worried."
Kate chuckled a little. "What am I supposed to do, Castle? I have no idea what it'll be like yet, so I have to be open."
"I know." He hesitated for a moment. "But I kind of feared you would just want to get back to work as soon as possible." He admitted, and Kate's smile grew a little warmer.
She leaned forward to place her other hand over his. "Remember what I told you a couple of months ago when we took care of Benny? I would never let you take care of our baby alone."
He smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I remember."
"Then be assured I meant it. I want to be there for this baby just as much as you do. My job only makes it a little harder to combine both things than yours."
She squeezed his hand, and Castle playfully furrowed his brows. "What do you mean by that? Being a best-selling author who would never have to publish another book and still be able to get by is hard work."
He started smiling again at the same moment Kate did. "It sure is," she said with a soft chuckle. She let go of his hands to start working the papers on her desk, her hands stilling again after just a few seconds. She looked back up at him, a realization crossing her mind.
"What happened to your plan of a special announcement for the boys?" She had been so nervous, especially about Captain Gates's reaction, that she hadn't given it a thought until now.
Castle shrugged and gave her a soft smile. "I thought of a few things, but then I realized you wouldn't like any of them, and then they didn't feel right anymore. I knew you didn't want a big announcement and were nervous enough already, so I thought I'd make it a little more comfortable for you."
Kate's heart grew warm at his words, and a smile spread over her lips as she felt the tickling of tears behind her eyes that had become much more familiar in the last two months. She was equally amazed and touched by his thoughtfulness and how he put her wishes over his, even though she had allowed him to do it differently.
"Thank you." Was all she could say in a thin voice, but Castle had no trouble hearing everything she felt in these two little words.
"Always." He replied with a loving smile and thought that all together, this day couldn't have gone better.