"You know, I've never seen you drunk," Riyu comments, handing a steaming Styrofoam cup to Irie. It's coffee, a little too sugary for his liking, but he sips at it, not wanting to be rude.
"Can't be helped," Irie says, swiping his tongue between his lip. The coffee's extremely hot. He tilts the cup in his hand, not wanting to burn himself. There's all sorts of things wrong with this drink. "I've got a high tolerance."
"Yeah, but we can't say the same for your wife," Riyu says, laughing. "She's a total lightweight."
Irie nods, takes another sip. "I don't know why she bothers to drink at all," he replies, glancing at Riyu. Why bring up Kotoko?
They both look off to the side and sigh when Funatsu walks in, shuffling into the small room. Riyu even gets up off the counter, opts to lean against it instead.
Irie smiles into his cup, amused by Riyu's obvious discomfort. Funatsu is totally oblivious to how people react around him.
"You two shouldn't be running away like this, hiding from work," Funatsu chides, taking in the uneventful scene.
"You're in here for the same reason as we are," Riyu replies, dejectedly. He looks up from his cup. "Right?"
Funatsu doesn't answer, points at Irie's cup instead. "What's that?"
"Coffee," Irie says, setting the cup down. "What else would it be?"
"Well, I've never seen you drink anything," Funatsu replies, defensive. "You're never drunk either, now that I think about it. Are you even human?"
"That's what I've been saying," Riyu cuts in, his eyes widening. "Irie's a total rock."
The three of them grow quiet, no sound in the room at save for the quiet humming of the air conditioner. They all look up at the door when there's a small knock, and then someone enters.
"Is an Irie in here? He's needed," she begins, and Irie squints at her. Who is she? He doesn't think he recognizes her, decides she must be apart of the Housekeeping team. Usually, busy doctors will send down a member of Housekeeping to relay messages when calling by speaker is too troublesome.
"I'm here," Irie tells her, straightening. He pushes his cup further along the counter so that it doesn't spill. "Who's requested me?"
The woman shakes her head. "No specific requests right now, actually," she says, glancing over her clipboard. "You have to report back to Room 342. A second opinion is needed, and I was told it should be yours."
Irie nods, slowly. "I understand," he says, walking towards the door.
Riyu and Funatsu watch as Irie leaves the room, frown when Housekeeping shuts the door following their departure.
"It doesn't make any sense," Riyu hisses, turning to Funatsu. "Irie's a medical student, just like us. Why would they need another opinion from him? A student's a student."
"Yeah, well, the rules here don't apply to Irie. He can do whatever he wants and no one gives a damn." Funatsu takes a gulp of his coffee, already halfway done. Riyu winces, wondering how he's not burning his throat entirely. "I'm just waiting for him to slip up."
"Don't say that. Be serious, for once. This is the hands-on part now; we can't afford to be petty."
"We're still learning! Mistakes are fine! Especially when Irie makes them — they're beyond fine then!"
"Irie never makes mistakes," Riyu comments, sighing. He watches as Funatsu bring the white cup back to his lips, shakes his head. "Don't take a swig out of it like it's alcohol."
Riyu is ignored. Funatsu stares at the door, not blinking.
"Let's take him out tonight," Funatsu says, finally speaking up. "Change of plans for me. I'll go out, for a chance."
It's an interesting idea, but Riyu questions the motive behind it. Causing a failure, deliberate or not, is always disastrous. Still. It might curb Funatsu's — albeit selective — zealous nature. Riyu mulls it over, swirling the coffee in the Styrofoam cup. The benefits, whatever they may be, are clearly outnumbered by the negative.
He decides that he will stay close to Irie, just for Irie's sake. (A small part of him knows that is pointless; there is nothing that he can accomplish that Irie can't either. Still. He will put in a good effort.)
"What's the fierce face for? Have you decided to watch Irie fail too?" Funatsu straightens. "Another member is always great news, especially someone like you, Riyu."
What?
"Someone…like me?" Riyu stops swirling the coffee, lets the small grains collect and cling on the sides of the cup. "What do you mean by that?"
"You're clearly intelligent, almost on par with Irie's level, and you're earnest. Good traits, really." He turns to Riyu, fixes him with a serious stare. "You're on board."
"Thanks," Riyu replies, automatically. He holds the cup in his left hand now, switching hands because Funatsu's extended his own.
They shake hands. Funatsu's hands are eerily cold. Riyu resists the urge to withdraw too quickly, counts to three before letting go.
"It's settled then. This evening at 6. We'll go to that one place, across that Karaoke bar."
"There's nowhere like that near the Karaoke bar," Riyu says, laughing slightly. He must really not go out much. "In fact, I think that's the Laundromat, not an actual bar."
Funatsu blinks, goes quiet.
Sighing, Riyu reluctantly pats Funatsu's back, consoling him. "I know a place. Just…wait for my call. You said around 6, right?"
"You'll be the one to tell Irie? Or you want me to tell him?"
Riyu pauses. "Sure. I was thinking about giving him a call anyways. I'll call him after he gets off."
"You sure that's enough time? What if he's got other plans? He does have a wife, you know," Funatsu's staring at the door again, trailing off.
"That's true," Riyu says, slowly. He takes his hand off Funatsu, rests it on the counter behind them, checking to make sure he won't knock anything over. "Well, we'll just postpone if he's not free, or it could just be the two of us — "
"Not interested. I won't come if Irie doesn't," Funatsu says a little too quickly. He's even shaking his head no, nonverbally disproving of Riyu's proposition.
Riyu frowns at him.
"Gee, thanks," he deadpans, moving away slightly. "I thought we were buddies now."
"Only on Operation Irie."
Riyu stares at him. How has he gotten this far, plotting schemes and ridiculous plans on the side?
"Sure," Riyu tells him, picking up Irie's coffee cup in his left hand. "I'll be leaving now."
Riyu leaves Funatsu in the room. He debates if he should go himself.
"She's cute," Riyu says, laughing a little when Funatsu nods. "Real cute. How'd you two meet again?"
"They met in college," Funatsu says, and Riyu is unsettled at how different he looks with his glasses on and off. "I know all about it."
"Really? Irie? You two met here?" Riyu leans back, sighs. "Wish I could find true love like you did."
"Funtasu doesn't know a thing about me," Irie replies, cooly. "I met Kotoko in high school."
"High school? So you two were like those high school sweethearts, then?" Riyu is aghast. Just how lucky is this guy?
"Something like that," Irie says, and then he turns to Funatsu. "Are you surprised as well?"
"Well, yes, actually, I am," he starts, putting his glasses back on. "Your wife had told me that you two fell in love in college. I must have been lied to."
If Irie feels uncomfortable, he doesn't let it show. Riyu applauds him for that, in his head, of course. He wouldn't want to embarrass himself; Funatsu is embarrassing enough.
"You shouldn't take anything she says seriously," Irie says. He tugs at the collar of his shirt, frowns.
"You should've changed," Riyu tells him. "We would've waited."
"No, we wouldn't have," Funatsu says. "I told you, if Irie didn't show up on time, I'm out."
Riyu sighs. Irie ignores the both of them.
"Do you speak with Kotoko often?" Irie asks, glancing at Funatsu.
Riyu smiles.
"If anything," Riyu starts, "Funatsu only talks to Kotoko to find out about you. They bond over you, it's crazy."
Irie laughs. "Bond over me? I don't think anyone can come close to Kotoko," he says.
"Her love for you is astonishing," Funatsu says, suddenly serious. "Hard to imagine you guys haven't been married for your entire lives."
"Well, we might as well have been," Irie mutters, but Riyu doesn't think he looks angry.
Funatsu is also watching Irie closely.
Irie glances at the two of them. "What's with the staring?"
"Nothing," Riyu says, at the same moment Funatsu asks, "What did you like about Kotoko?"
The three of them pause.
Riyu speaks up. "Yeah, Irie, now that's a good question. I don't know too much about Kotoko — "
"Keep it that way," Irie interjects.
"…but she doesn't sound the brightest. What made you settle?"
Irie sighs, glares at Funatsu. "Kotoko is my wife. And," Irie turns, "I don't appreciate the word settle, Riyu. It's unkind."
The banter atmosphere seems to have ended. Riyu feels a certain air of tension being to take form.
Funatsu pushes up his glasses. "Me? Unkind?" He laughs, a loose laugh. "You'd know all about being unkind. Kotoko's told me about these things, you know."
"She can tell you whatever she wants, Funatsu," Irie replies. "Frankly, I'm not so concerned with my reputation that I monitor what others say about me."
"What'd Kotoko tell you?" Riyu can't help but ask.
"Oh, she certainly spilled the beans," Funatsu snorts. "Told me about what a big bad bully Irie was in high school."
"Did she bring up my romantic confession in the rain too?" Irie says, calmly. "Or are we just picking and choosing here?"
Riyu glances at Funatsu, eyes him slightly.
"She did mention that."
"Mention?"
"She discussed it quite a bit."
"What'd she say about it?" Riyu asks, an all too similar question to the one he asked earlier.
"I'll tell you," Irie says. "I'll tell you exactly how Kotoko told him."
It's perfect timing, the waitress sets down 3 cold drinks in front of them, the condensation drops clear on each glass.
Irie's the only one whose thank you gets a smile from the waitress, Riyu notices.
"Get to it then," Funatsu says, after the waitress leaves. "I'll be the judge and see if it's accurate. Riyu, you just sit back and listen."
"Sure," Riyu replies, watching as Irie sets his drink down. He's content with blending into the background.
"Wait. Wait, wait, wait," Funatsu says, raising a hand. "Let's all drink first. To the wondrous relationship of Irie and Kotoko."
Riyu holds in a sigh. He just wants to get Irie hammered.
"Why not," Irie says, a slight smile on his face. "I'll drink to it."
Funatsu and Riyu glance at each other, apprehension and confusion written on the other's face.
Irie finishes the glass first.
Funatsu coughs mid swallow, almost dies in the the bar.
When he finally stops sputtering and spitting, almost five whole minutes have passed.
Irie stands, quite abruptly. "I'll bring a glass of water for you," he says to Funatsu. "You'll need it."
Riyu watches Irie leave, watches him approach the counter, calmly, confidently.
"What a man," he comments, turning back to Funatsu, who says nothing in reply. "Still, he's acting sort of different tonight, don't you think?"
"That's what having a wife does to a man, Riyu. All your problems disappear once you've got a beautiful woman clinging to your arm. Irie's got it made. Everyone loves him, his wife's obsessed with him, he's an unfathomable genius, it's no wonder the ladies love him. He's never short on cash, he's loyal to his wife, he's — he's got it all. Hell, he probably got laid right before coming here. Probably had a good time in bed with his cutie-pie of a wife. You know, I've even asked her about it, that side of their relationship and I know she'd tell me all about it if she just wasn't so shy — "
"Looks like you're doing fine," Irie replies, slightly frowning, glass in his hand. "Water won't quell the burning trash spewing from your lips, will it?"
Funatsu glances away, takes the glass of water reluctantly.
Riyu is silent.
"I'd prefer to not leave on such a low note, but I've got plans," Irie says, patting the table. He makes no move to sit down. "Plans that include…having a good time in bed with my cutie-pie of a wife."
The words sound extremely strange coming from his mouth.
Riyu can only imagine the stain they'd leave on Funatsu.
"I'll pay you back, Riyu," Irie continues, "just remind me of it."
Funastu is quiet still. The water slightly sloshes in his grip.
Irie leaves, quite quickly. He isn't one for long goodbyes, Riyu notes.
Funatsu boils in the seat.
"This is your fault, Riyu. We're not buddies anymore, in fact, we never have been."
"My fault? You're the one who can't handle a drink! You can't even keep your mouth shut!"
"Yeah well, if you'd stopped me from talking, we would've gotten Irie drunk. We could've taken him to his house, snooped around his things, gotten valuable info. Think of all the information that's slipped from our fingers!" A teardrop plinks into the glass.
So dramatic. "Listen," Riyu says, "I don't know why you're so upset about Irie, but I know — wait. Did you just say you wanted to break into his house?!"
"Listen to me. I never said that. I never said that explicitly. I'm only searching for something here. You can't see it, but I can. I've been doing this for years. If the information won't come to me, I'll have to seek it myself. Even when I'm away, I can take different measures. I can do other things. I just need to figure out what Irie does, only then can I surpass him."
"It's time to go home, buddy," Riyu says, the concern rising in his voice. "You need to sleep."