John blinked as someone new entered the door. Huh.
The man seemed a bit up tight, but also radiated authority and self confidence. "Good morning, John! I am Agent G. I've stopped by to ask you a couple of questions."
Huh. "You don't LOOK like a giraffe."
The man paused, blinking. "I'm sorry?"
And now JOHN felt confused! "Aren't you Agent G?"
He nodded. "Yes."
Right! "And so you are Geoff the Giraffe, secret agent! I think…" John squinted. "Where is your fedora?"
Agent G but clearly not Geoff the Giraffe seemed to hesitate… But took it in stride. "While agents are allowed to wear fedoras, it isn't part of the required uniform so to speak. Also, while some of my coworkers may not appear as humanoid as others, I assure you that all of my colleagues are people and should be treated as such."
Huh. Why… Why wasn't he a giraffe?
[[System is still unstable… Some information may be contaminated from nearby Realms.]]
Oh. "Sorry, Agent G. It's okay if you aren't a giraffe."
The man had a wry smile. "Thank you John. Now, do you mind answering a few questions for me?"
He blinked. Uh… Sure? "Alright."
The guy in a suit sat down nearby. "First of all, are you feeling alright? I understand you were quite hurt when we found you."
A memory of endless agony came back. "Yeah, I didn't have all the right pieces back then. I technically still don't, and I won't for a while."
An actual look of concern crossed his face. "How long?"
Uh. System?
[[Estimating full recovery time…]]
Oh. "A few years. I uh… I'll be fully functional faster than that, but even with the advanced chemicals they add to my medication to sedate me it will take a while."
Agent G's eyebrow went up. "Chemicals?"
Yep! "I've got a whole bunch of heavy elements to work with! It's helped out my System by skipping some Recovery steps, and the nurses were nice enough to add small bits of metal and stuff with my meals, which is nice. Apparently most people don't eat as much Chromium as I can."
The man considered that and nodded. "I personally can eat four bowls of my mom's chilli, and my brother swears that is impossible… Yeah, I get ya. Any specific stuff we can get you to help you get better faster?"
Maybe?
[[Generating a list of materials available and required from current Realm, organized by necessity, ease of acquirement, and cost of material.]]
John smiled! "Yeah! Though even with the bad guy money I can't afford it all, and some of it is illegal to trade or buy apparently... But any little bit helps."
Strangely, Agent G didn't even blink at the idea of unregulated material acquisition. He was focused on something else. "Tell me about this 'bad guy money'."
John nodded. "When I got hurt and the people here were taking care of me, I didn't have anything. So to pay for it all, a bunch of unmarked and off record accounts belonging to corrupt politicians, criminal organizations, and those kinds of bad guys got moved around and stuff… I think I paid off the budget of wherever I am a few times over by now. That way, Jessica and Susan and Bill and the others won't get in trouble wasting time worrying about me."
The System had just been covering his costs before John had found out what was going on. But these people were nice! They probably needed money for apples and stuff! So he just poked his System to increase the money transfered a bit.
Agent G made a note on something. "Right, I'll… I will look that up later." Did he look concerned about that? Why? "So, what is your name?"
He blinked. "John. John Doe."
The agent waved his hand. "No, I mean before we called you that."
Oh! "I don't know. I was there for a very long time… I might not have ever had one. But Jessica called me John Doe and that sounds like an awesome name! So it is Ṃ̗̼͘i͇͎̻̕n̟̤̯̱̬̻͚e̲̺͚̩̹̫̪͠ͅ now."
The sitting man flinched for some reason, but stayed calm. "Huh. Well, nothing wrong with John Doe… I know lots of John's myself, and several of them are cool dudes. Mostly." He looked into his eyes. "You say a long time… Tell me… Where were you before here?"
John Doe saw the lack of things.
John Doe felt the emptiness.
John Doe heard the soundless echo.
John Doe smelled the empty void.
John Doe tasted loneliness.
"John… John? JOHN!"
He blinked. "Huh?"
Agent G looked actually worried. "Are you alright?"
Yeah. He had Patriarch Wedgie of the Apple Slice Clan. "Yeah… Sorry."
The man hesitated. "You… You don't have to answer if it hurts."
John Doe felt his past like a heavy heart. "No, I'm alright now. I can handle it."
He had something now.
Agent G considered his expression… But eventually gave in. "So where were you?"
Alone.
John Doe sighed back at the curious agent. "Where were YOU before YOU were born?"
Hopefully somewhere nicer. Somewhere with love and warmth and… Somewhere nicer.
Agent G blinked. "I'm sorry?"
John Doe shrugged. "I didn't have a body before." Or anything. "I guess I was technically born here, in this place, on this planet, in this time."
Considering his hidden friends of fruit… "I'm sort of glad. That I was born, I mean."
The man didn't seem to know how to handle that. "So am I?"
But that was fine. "Yeah, I think… I think being born was a good idea. I'm glad I went through with it."
The endless agony and all the frantic surgery wasn't super pleasant, but being able to feel things (Even pain) was also basically a step up from before, so yeah!
Living was fun!
The man was starting to give him odd looks for some reason, but that was fun too.
Agent G coughed. "Right then… Uh. Welcome to Earth?"
Oh! How sweet! "Thank you!"
The man in black slumped slightly. "Well, at least you aren't eating people or randomly popping buildings out of sync with reality. Right! Back to the questions!"
They were numerous and a bit confusing.
No, he didn't know anyone else where he had come from.
There hadn't been anyone else.
No, others couldn't follow him. His System said so, though he didn't mention it to the agent… His System was HIS after all.
No, his trip here should not have caused a rip, tear, gate, portal, etc.
No, he didn't wish to return.
The conversation meandered from there though. They talked about apples and places and fruits and clothing and slices and stories and more about apples and…
But eventually, time passed.
Agent G, or the 'G Man' as he wanted to be called, due to being so 'hip and cool with the kids', sighed and pulled out a shiny metal wand as he put on some awesome looking shades. "John, I've really enjoyed our conversation, and I am VERY glad I can mark you as approved and cleared for future integration procedures to join our immigration program… I'll keep an eye out for you, alright? Maybe someday you can introduce yourself to me again."
Huh? "What do you mean?"
He gave a slightly sad smile. "Oh, nothing important. Hey, want to see a fun trick?"
A white FLASH!
[[Mind destabilized.]]
The stranger in black sunglasses looked at the blank faced John Doe with solemn purpose. "You spent the afternoon enjoying time with your apple slices, the nurses took good care of you, and you fundamentally feel things are going to work out somehow."
He sighed removing the eyewear and stood up to leave, muttering. "I'll make sure of it, kid. Be safe, alright?"
The man in black gave a nod and began to walk out with determination. "Sorry kid, I must have entered the wrong room by mistake! I'll get out of your hair, sorry again for the bother!"
John Doe blinked with confusion as the stranger left. Huh. What a nice but odd man.
He liked him!
[[Mind corruption detected. Backup restored. Backup integrated.]]
Oh.
Hey, that WAS a fun trick! Agent G was so cool!
Patriarch Wedgie, you should train the Apple Slice clan to have awesome secret agents too! But even better, and they can have little apple fedoras and stuff like a proper one.
~~~Pocket System~~~
Time passed.
Probably. It was hard to tell down here, in the medical room.
But meals happened and the nice nurses stopped by (They looked prettier than ever! Even the men!), so time probably passed.
John Doe didn't meet other Agents, and honestly was too distracted by how awesome existing was to bother to ask about them either.
But at least he had several chunks of equipment removed! Some tubes and wires and sensors, now he was down to an IV and lots of pills and stuff, which was practically nothing!
He also got a bunch of awesome crunchy snacks, like tiny marbles of various metals and chemicals and vials with the ones that were combustible already soaked in oil and stuff to keep them stable.
They didn't REALLY go into his mouth, not technically, since the System just used a modified version of his Pocket to absorb the materials, but it FELT like he was eating them.
They were crunchy and a bit radioactive and tingly and maybe a bit zesty? They were awesome!
Unfortunately he mentioned this to Jessica and there was a whole speech about normal children not being allowed to drink lead or crunch on Chrysotile and all that.
Apparently it was thanks to his 'unique gifts' that eating that stuff was possible/survivable/recommended.
Meh, whatever. So what if other kids couldn't enjoy the cool tang of liquid helium? Their loss!
Eventually though, a few things did change.
He ended up getting a new bedroom, for one. It was in a nice 'secured' facility somewhere underground, and while most of the staff had to stay behind at the hospital care place, Jessica was able to come along as his 'guide' or 'assistant' or something.
They sort of said she was his handler?
But that didn't make sense, so it was probably something like a helper of some sort.
So yeah, things were going pretty good.
At least until a few weeks later, when Jessica asked him if he wanted to come meet some people at some super important workplace.
It sounded suspicious! New people! All at once!?
What if they were after his apple slice community!? The risks were TOO HIGH!
Especially since that jerk of a System finally unlocked his Pocket and let him start growing his inventory space again.
Which was good! He NEEDED more room!
Sure, if he emptied the entire thing and started from scratch he would have lots of room to work with… But abandon his followers!? His fruity fellows deserved more than that!
But eventually, Jessica convinced him that no one would try and take back his apple slices or do anything without warning him first (In case they were SECRETLY going to kidnap Wedgie and his gang!), so they were off to meet some important people for some reason.
Likely a good reason, or a valid one, or… Something.
But honestly John had gotten bored at some point and just nodded along, so he just knew 'Some people wanted to meet him' and 'No, they will not confiscate your fruit'... Which was good enough.
John blinked in the lemo (It was like a normal car but longer) when he felt reality shift. "Huh."
Jessica, wearing a nice suit, blinked. "Hmm? Something wrong John?"
He nodded, looking at the taller woman. "There are a BUNCH of people doing strange stuff with their Pockets nearby."
She blinked. "I'm sorry?"
John pointed in various directions. "Those two flying people have some sort of Pocket that keeps radio signals and gravimetric pulses and visible light and stuff, while the four in that car are just trying to keep the signals from my implant and the car from escaping."
He blinked at her shock. "Oh, wait, I'm not supposed to know about the surgically embedded tracking implant… Right?" Oops. "Shh! Don't tell anyone, okay?"
Jessica jerked, before tapping her wrist. "Code Zeta, I've got six bogies in two parties, two airborn tracking my…" Something crackled.
She glared at the gadget. "Well, so much for the 'unblockable' and 'instantaneous' emergency contact module. Hold still John, we might have to go loud."
Buttons were hit and half the seats folded down, exposing glowing metal shelves and LOTS of cool looking guns with purple and red components locked into black alloyed metal. "Right, if they are trying to run silent then our alternative options are limited anyway… Loud it is! Could you hold your hands over your ears for me please, John?"
Uh. "Sure?" Then things got murphled as he held his ears shut.
A massive ZzzzThrkt smashed a fist size hole through the roof and narrowly missed the flying person he had detected and pointed out moments ago.
Apparently the purple and red guns had a heck of a kickback… She should really try and brace her shoulder more firmly!
Wait, no, that wasn't the point!
What was going on!?
[[Interagency conflict has led to an informational compromise. An alien criminal organization is attempting to capitalize on your transportation between secured facilities for unknown purposes. Kidnapping or resource denial most likely suspected objectives.]]
That… That was bad, right?
[[It is not advised to comply with the theoretical kidnapping that is underway, nor to trust that the various attackers are unwilling to move to lethal measures should their attempt fail.]]
Yeah, that sounded bad. What options were there?
[[Numerous.]]
He felt potential actions flicker in his mind… Leaving the Realm, attempting to store himself in [[Pocket]], minor space and time modification, Omega protocol, aggressive defensive structures, area of effect alterations to the psychic weave, and so on and so on and…
So yeah, he could escape this pretty easily! Whew, that was a relief.
Jessica shifted out of the way of some sort of green needle of energy that pierced the seat, and he couldn't hear her well but those seemed like some bad words.
Any options that didn't involve leaving Jessica alone or behind to deal with this dangerous mess?
[[...Limited.]]
VERY limited… And the safest, most reliable option would require a sacrifice.
A big, dangerous, but necessary sacrifice.
John Doe felt his eyes try to cry, but he wouldn't because he was a big boy and Patriarch Wedgie wouldn't want him to feel sad about this.
~~~Pocket System~~~
The frustrated flying alien whistled. {{NOW! JUST SHOOT IT NOW! KILL THEM ALL!}}
Their companion in the armored van whistled back, the explosions and chaos unable to stop their high pitch communication. {{What!? But we haven't even…}}
A bright red SOMETHING nearly pierced his thorax! {{I SAID NOW!}}
The armored van opened up, a coiled gun the size of a cocoon exposed to the battle… Before a blue pulse of power SMASHED into the target!
Take THAT you bitch! Why didn't you just die and let them take the stupid mutant healing 'human' grub!? It was supposed to be a quick in and out swarm!
Whatever. {{Σคгɭ, go check and see if we can at least get a genetic sample from the freak corpse. Maybe we can clone it or something… Just don't mix any of that agent's blood into it! Just the fake child!}}
What the HIVE was an agent doing traveling with some sort of lab mutant during transit anyway!? The intercepted intelligence implied that the grub would only have a weak human guide following along, not someone with training and equipment!
His day just got even better when he saw Σคгɭ buzzing back WITHOUT that stupid sample. And news. Strange news. {{What did you say!?}}
Σคгɭ just shrugged. {{I said there's no one inside. Just a TON of applesauce.}} He held up a gooey limb. {{Tastes pretty good, actually. A nice summer treat!}}
He just stared at Σคгɭ.
Right. Mark that drone for consumption later. The Hive didn't need MORE idiots buzzing about.
Now… How was he going to whistle this in without HIMSELF being added to the menu?