Good news: They made it back to the base!
Bad news: Time was uh… Running a bit more tight than expected.
John watched Steve manipulating the odd block that didn't seem to quite exist in this world. "Everything good so far?"
The guy winced. "Look, just give me a minute alright? This Command Block might be pre-calibrated for an idiot to use, but I'm still a bit woozy."
The thing was interesting, and apparently was the closest thing an Instance could get to generating Mod like effects without mutating reality… But it seemed finicky.
This one was apparently Steve's pre-built access to a multi-Server trade service, and had cost a LOT of stuff for him to acquire… But it was ALSO too damned slow! "Any day now, Steve."
A hiss, some sort of smoke and a pop… "GOT IT! Now I can start trading stuff and then we can leave!"
John hummed. "Uh huh." The connection feed seemed to pulse through the Conceptual core of this Instance and then branch out through the undefined connections between Minecraft Instances and Servers out in the nothingness.
…And that connection could be traced. "Hang on Steve: New plan."
The guy flinched. "What? Did something happen?"
Well you almost created a massive glowing path from this place through a series of highly populated worlds directly towards your actual home. "Not really, I just thought we could save some time. Try to make a trade really quickly, just one, for anything. And have it sent to this place, no where else."
Steve stared at John… And shrugged. "Sure, you already let me send tons of ore back home anyway. This is your show I guess. This woman seems to want some Ancient Debris ore, and it never hurts to collect a few more Emerald blocks…"
As the man interfaced with the Essence block of Commanding, John began to intercept EVERYTHING. System?
[[Protocols captured, analyzed. Requirements for connection established, newly defined 'address' mapped to network, Conceptually tied to friend Steve.]]
Steve blinked. "Strange, it should have finished transacting by now. This section of the market is automated, as long as the needed materials are submitted we should have gotten the goods sent here or gotten some sort of message if there was a problem."
And there we go. "Right, cancel that trade and give me a moment." This should work, it sort of combined the Conceptual mail boxes used to keep in touch with past Realms and the temporal/spatial decoupling defenses into a fake 'person' for trade.
Right, that should do it. Are we good to go?
[[Confirmed. Account is valid and activated when the user attempting to contact the System is friend Steve.]]
Good. "Cancel out of what you were just doing and help me do another quick test… But do NOT go through with the trade or confirm it."
Steve blinked at the intensity of John's focus. "Uh… Alright? Done. What do you need for the test?"
Something far away c̡̱̯̠͍͇̝̫̟̘ͅr̡̪͓͙̘̩̮͕̫̦͕e̝̤̲̰̮̠͚̝͜a̡͉̜̙̘̤̟̮̳̫k̢͈͕̳͔̫̥e̢̖̙̥͓͖̠̣͎̠̤̲̰ḑ̥̣͖͚̮̰̮͖̜̜̮̭. Shit. "Can you trade to user 'StevesBestFriendJohnDoe' now?"
.
The miner blinked at the interface. "Huh. Yeah, I guess I can. How did you DO that?"
No time. "Right, glad it works. Now, leave here and go to your home Server. Do NOT try to contact this place again, do NOT try to interact with anything here… And take Bessie with you."
The pigs had wandered off apparently, but Bessie was still around chewing John's hips.
Steve froze. "Something happened, didn't it?"
John glanced at something very far away.
[[N̨̖͙͉̖o̮͕̱͜ w̧͖̗͕a̡̪̙̙ļ̮͓̪̟l͎̳͉͜s̡̳̪̠͖ͅ m͉͎̖͢a̡̫̳̱y̖̰͖͍͢ b̢̞̟ę͉̦̱ņ̪͙͎d͚̞͖͢ n͎͍̤̬̜͜o̬͔͓̖͢r̡̫̝ f̖͉͎͖̱͢l͍̪̫̣̟͜o̢̭͍͎ͅo͖̣͔͈̜͜r̡̘͔̭̪ͅs̢͚͚̟ m̢̥͉̬a̫̟̳̣͢y̨͖̰̘͉̣ c̙̦͇̭͢ͅṟ̨͓a̢̖͕̬̥c̢͈͔̟͉k̨̦̝̭̳ f̮͉̮͎̘͢o̙̯̳͜r̨͓̘̯ t̢̯͙͙͉͉h̭͕̥͢i̩̦̦͜ņ̭͖̠̩ͅg͓̭̫͢ͅs̨͕̦ ţ͇̜̯͚͈h̢͇̞ą̪ͅţ̤ͅ c̱͕͎̮̳͢r̫̜͢a̟̙̞͢w̧͎̟̳̝l̮̟̩͔̪͜ m̝͜ͅa͈̞͜y͎̪͍͇͜ ṯ̢̱̯ṛ͔̝̘̣͜a̡̯̱͙̳c͚͎̱͜ę͈̱̰ t̨̤̖͉h̡̘̘e̢̗̫̳m̙͖͚̪͜ͅ b̢͈͖̗̫͙a̪̘̬̦͜c̢̪̬̰͇k͉͕͇͢.̟̪͜ A̲͓͖̩̬͢s̨̘͙͖ o̭̳̳̜̲͢n̞̙̝͢ȩ͕̪̘͖̟ c͖̦̱̙͢ą̟̥̜̲̮ņ̭̯͕̬ f̡̥͕͚̯l̡͎̟͔e̳͇̣͎͜ę͕͚͇ a̧̠̩͙ņ͓͖̬d̗͙͜ m̧̯̥ǫ͖̤͇r̡̘̭ȩ̫̯̘͕̮ s̙͇͢ḩ͚̟a̯̱͜l̨̪̰̖̯l̢͉̝̝̣ f͓̱͖͢a̢͖̖l͉̫̠͇͢l̨̗͈͈ a̩̜̙͇͢l̡̠̜̲̰̮ļ̟̜͍̰ m̘̬̬̖͢u̡̞͕s̢͍͈t̡̳̟ ŗ̞͖ͅe̢͙̩̲̩͍m̢̪̱̟̳e̘̣̟͢m̡̭͚̱̤͈b̠̦͢ͅe̡̞̤̠r̠̠̤͜ b̡͍̠̘̝u͓̝̯̟̪͢t͙̖̬͢ n̩̖͕͜o̢̳̤ͅt̯͇͈̪̬͜ r͎̭͜ȩ͉̜̱͎̥c̡̜̟ͅa̡͎̗̘l̢̲̯̦l̡̦̲͚̘͉.̨̰ͅ]]
Yep. "Here is a list of all the stuff I want. You go home and start trading for them and start sending it to my new account. I'll get it, don't worry!"
Steve hesitated. "Aren't you coming with me?"
Nope, that would leave a trail and it would be tricky enough to keep STEVE'S exit from leaving traces. "Maybe later, I'm going to take care of things here first."
[[Ş̝͉͖̤e̢̞̦͇i̜͕͢z̨͓̰e͍̪͢ t̡͉͔̣̠ḩ̦̜ę̦͈ i͔̪͕̞͢n͎̥͢ș̡̰̩͙t̨̰͚a̫̤͜n̜̳͇͢ţ̰͙ a̢͚̱͚ͅn̡̮̰d̨̫̲̪ f̩̳͢l̨̖̮̙e̡̗̘͈̙e̮̮͜ t̲̱͉̳̗͢ḩ͎ͅę̘̖͖͈ d̢͎̬a̡̙̪̮̥͓y̡̯̫̙,̡͕̣̜̫ͅ f̤̮͢l̨̗̪e̢̖͚ȩ̠̮͖̘ m̨̤̝͔o̧̬͚͎̗ͅr̡͓͕e̢̤̟͕̣̯ d̢̜̞i̤̦̝͢s̨̞̲͚͔͇t̨̖͖̱͔a̦͉͢ͅn̘͎̲͕͖͜t̢̮̣̮ a̜̭̗͜ņ̦̝͚̖d̞͖͙̲͈͜ s̢̤͍͉̝t͕͙͔̗͜r̡̥̟̟i̧͉̘̫̠̠v̨̦̭ẹ̬͖͢ a̡̩͇ͅw̧̩̫ą̣̞̯̘y̢̞̲̥̥̮!̳̮͢ A̤̭͙͎̞͢ p̡͎͓r̳͓̱͜i͔̭͢z̘̙̪̲͜e̗̩̟͇͢ ţ̦̯h͈̫̗̟̭͢e̡͚͈͎̥͚y̞̳̪͖͜ͅ s̟͓͎̟͜ͅe̟͕͍̳͢e̡͔͙̗k̪̩̫̱̰͢ a̢̱̖͕͎n̨͙̖̩͚d̨͙̤͇̥̤ s̨͔͓̳p̣͙͉̠͇͜o̧͍̥̫i̢͕͚ļ̲̣̤͕s̨̲̖̣̦̬ t͈̬̥͜ḩ̬̘̟̪e̫̘͜y̡̗̙̟ c̡̪̝̱̞͇l̜̲͢a̡͕̤͖i̡̬̮͍̯͕m̨̮̰̗̲̞,̢͈͚̟̙̞ t̡͎̤͔ḩ͎͖̳o̞̘̝͢s̮͎͢e͎̝̮͢ w͚̤̳̣̯͢h͇̪̤̯̱͢o͉͍͜ d̝̬͢ͅȩ͍̜f̘̲̣̱͜ͅy̭͙͜ s͙̙͍̘̬͢h̩̩͓͜a̡̮̗̪̮̱ḽ̤̬̠͜l̡̘͈ b̢̦͕̝̤̥u̧͓̠͖̯̪r̫̪͢n͈̟͢ į̲͉̳̭n̢̦͙̤ f̧͈͎̝l͎̬̦̗͢ͅa̩͇͔̖̖͜m̧̲̰̟̱e̙̲̭̣͢s̨͍̩̬!̢̣͎]]
Steve reached out to hold Bessie but still looked back. "Are you sure…"
John glared! "RUN STEVE! Ŗ̵͞U̸̡̕N̵̡͞!̷̨҇ "
And the man and cow were both gone.
Which was good.
[[Pocket!]] Pocket EVERYTHING! Local body and stuff too, grab it ALL and keep it separate from everything else we own!
[[Confirmed.]]
Good, now shove it all into a single block of Essence as fast as…
[[R̦͉͔̝͜A̧̮̟̬Ģ͙̗̘̮ͅE̢̘̜͉ W̘̜͜I͙̣̪̬̙͜T͖̪͓͜H̢̜͓͚Ǫ̠̮̜̲͚U̡͕̯̥T̨̠̠̩ S̢̬̪̠͈O̢͎͖̬͍̝U̙̟̲͜L̜̞̲̖̜͜ A̧̳̳̖̦̣N̨͓̜̭D̨͉̣̝̳͔ W̯̙͈͚͜R̢̥ͅĄ͈̠T̨̘͙͔͍Ḫ̢͔ W̡̫̬̞͖̲I̢͎̜T̤̦͎̗͢Ḥ̤͖̜̟͢Ǫ̯̮Ų͍̫͎̮̝T̡̯̯ M̠͔̙̜͜I̡̘̥N̡͕̣D̡͍̣̪̰̥!̢̟̮͙̞̠ C̞̲̭̖̯͜A̡̯͖̬L̡͈̬̲Ḁ̡͇̱M͚͚͜I̡͔͈̯T̡͙̗̦̬̮Y̧͕̣ U̡̦͕̣̫N͙̱͎̞͇͜F̨̜͎͕̰O̡͈̳̫L̪̗͈̖̟͢D̨͍͉̲̩Ş̦͎̳͈,̳̩͍͢ E̡͈̝͖͔X̨̝͖̮͍ͅĮ̟̰S͔̲͜T̥̙̲̬͜A͕͎̯͔͜Ṉ̨͚̟̮C̨͔̲͍̯Ȩ̯̣ U̧̘̯̲Ņ̥̱̳͈̩W̢͓̥I͔̜͢N̢̞͖D̨͎̗S̢̯͇̩̪!͈͇͜]]
NOW! BLOW IT UP AND GET US OUT NOW!
[[Deploying Destabilized Mass Essence Block.]]
[[Pocket.]]
~~~Pocket System~~~
Steve stared at his own mental interface in horror and betrayal.
Had… Had he just left a little boy to die alone?
Why!? No, better yet, HOW!?
He wasn't afraid of death, he died a few times a week! And Steve didn't even remember establishing a connection back home, much less executing it!
"Mrrr?"
He stared at the mental screen, still in shock. "What just happened, Bessie?"
"Mrrr."
For a moment, a brief moment, Steve had felt some sort of pressure. A force both within and without.
In his heart, he felt compelled to leave because of the look in John's eyes as he screamed for everyone else to run away.
But from somewhere else, he had felt raw, uncontrolled terror.
Not of whatever had been hunting them both, but of defying John's commands.
Of not listening to the kid.
…Well fuck that!
Steve wasn't going to let instincts or logic keep him from helping out a friend, FUCK no!
He swiftly pulled up the linked list of Instances as Bessie wandered away. Steve would just go back, grab the idiot, and then run again! No problem, no mess, and they should have done that from the very start!
…
The list was missing a line of coordinates.
…
The location was no longer in his Instance discovery logs either.
…
His personal mission statements no longer mentioned the location they took place in. As if he had retroactively forgot to mark them down, breaking dozens of decades of tradition and operating procedure and habit without noticing!
…
Oh dear Notch, His MEMORY was missing the same coordinates.
That… That was not good.
Wait, that trade account!
Steve ran to the trade center of his home Server base and… Yes! 'StevesBestFriendJohnDoe' was both there AND online!
Opening a private chat, he began to rant! "John you JACKASS, you give me your location RIGHT NOW or I will whoop your butt! Don't you DARE stay on that death trap of an Instance, you hear me!?"
And John was there on video chat, smiling like usual. "Hey Steve! Yeah, don't worry I got out of there, no problem! Well, mostly no problem. Delayed Jessica's recovery a little bit since I paused her healing to ensure the Pocket had proper defensive measures in place, but we just stayed in transit for longer and all was good."
…What? "So you are not there anymore? You are safe?"
The kid blinked. "Well, sort of?" He looked at some sort of screen. "According to your time reference, I'm currently bodiless and unconscious while fleeing from your Realm entirely. Best way to not leave any trails, I wouldn't want to lead the 'whatever-that-was' to you or anyone else."
That… That didn't seem right. "How can you be talking to me and unconscious at the same time?"
John shrugged. "This connection doesn't work the way you think it does, but on the bright side it DOES work, so who cares? Visually you will see the body you know me best with, audibly you hear the most familiar version of my voice, and mentally my mind is swapped out with the one with the correct memories for your local timeline for the duration of the call to prevent paradoxes and other annoying issues and junk."
Steve just… Let all that slide. "Just… You are not in danger, yes?"
The kid winced. "Well, not in THAT instance of danger, no. But uh… I do lead an active life, you know? Like that mess I get into later on in a few years, which I can't remember right now. THAT had been a headache, eventually. Anyway, you got my shopping list? The one I gave you before we split up?"
He felt numb. A bit relieved, but very overwhelmed. "Yeah, I got the list."
John grinned! "Great, could you add turtle eggs and some beehives to that? I didn't know back then that Essence materials converted into the 'Most Essential version' of local materials when I head off into new realities, so some stuff that was inedible there are awesome delicious elsewhere."
Steve slumped. Whatever, the kid seemed to be up to crazy shenanigans once more: He must be fine. "Sure kid, Just mail me a full list and I'll let you know if I need more Ancient Debris ore to cover the costs if it gets too expensive."
Which was unlikely, considering the massive mountains of wealth already transferred into his sorted inventory system.
John grinned! "Sweet! Remember, I only need a couple of samples for each item, so feel free to send me anything neat you stumble into. I'll get it eventually, depending on when in the various timelines I check my inbox. Right, stay safe and see you later! Bye Steve, bye Bessie!"
"Mrrr."
And Steve was staring at a blank menu in the mental interface.
After a while, he shook off the disbelief and made a note to update the 'wish list' for later trade.
For now, Steve was going to go visit a Mod Server with a bar that had the good alcohol and get smashed.
"Mrrr."
…A Mod Server bar that permitted cattle to join the table. "Come on Bessie, let's go somewhere where illogical stuff from insane people is both expected and encouraged."
Maybe after seeing the sheer craziness of the local Mod scene some of his recent life would start to feel more normal or something.
~~~Pocket System~~~
[[System connection reestablished.]]
[[Deploying HOST.]]
~~~Pocket System~~~
John gasped… And slumped in relief.
New body? No mess of emotional chemicals and terror and all that. Sweet, sweet emotional stability. "Pocket? We good?"
[[Pursuit has been discontinued, transit path randomized and path obscured. Transit duration extended until new Body formed and HOST's sister Jessica had fully recovered.]]
That… That sounded good. "Any tags or markings or signals being emitted?"
[[Negative. Any such markers would be bound by currently occupied Realm regardless.]]
Good. Damn good. "Right, that… Right."
John slumped down to the cool night grass. Non-blocky, far more stable and 'natural' looking grass. Stuff that didn't feel like it was made out of bubbles or tissue paper.
It was WORTH not being made out of edibles any more just to feel a sturdy environment like this one, honestly. One where looking too hard wouldn't pop everything into itty bits.
Although now that John had collected all that data he could probably DUPLICATE the effect with a powerful enough Scan. Even if the target wouldn't turn into a drop or whatever but would most likely explode into a bloody mist…
Point is, it was POSSIBLE, and that was cool. Right?
Right.
…Damn, he was short again, wasn't he?
[[HOST's current body is biologically 16 years old.]]
But not two blocks, or over six foot tall. Right? He wouldn't be Steve's height anymore.
[[HOST is correct. HOST's new Body height is currently…]]]
Short. His new height was short.
[[HOST is enhanced via Bones and other Essence formed materials, modified and optimized for peak performance via ongoing data collection metrics, and reinforced with Conceptual energies and…]]
Was now short again.
[[...HOST's height is within expected parameters according to age and genetics, and is above the average expected height according to statistics gathered from…]]
Meh, whatever. He'd be tall again soon! And maybe be a cyborg or robot or something! Yeah!
[[...It is possible to alter HOST's body, as it can be adjusted via modification of…]]
Or maybe he'd be a LION! That would be so sweet! But to be a tall lion he would have to either stand up on his hind legs or be a MASSIVE, HUGE lion of badassitude! With sunglasses! And a hat!
John the lion! King of the… Well, not jungles because jungles didn't have snacks and air conditioning and stuff. King of future apartment living rooms, maybe.
That would be so sweet!
[[...Jessica's recovery process has reached 100%.]]
Huh? Oh, right. Need to let her out.
In a minute or two.
After making sure that this new place, wherever it is, is safe.
THEN he'd let her out and tell her about all the cool stuff he got while she was healing!
…Although he probably shouldn't mention going to hell. Or being chased after stealing the Essence of Hell in the form of Debby, the Not-So-Ancient Debris ore. Or destroying an entire Instance of a Realm while being pursued outside of reality.
[[Logs of events will be provided to HOST's sister as per her established 'Overview my brother' policy.]]
Oh come on man! Don't be a snitch!
[[Would HOST like to countermand policy established by HOST's sister Jessica?]]
…No.
[[Then the logs of recent events will be provided to…]]
A growl from nearby was JUST IN TIME! "Hey look, a distraction! Hello distraction, my name is John!"
A homeless man with some sort of messed up face mutation paused, mid grapple. "Uh… Hello?"
John grinned up at the huge dude. "Hello! What is YOUR name, distraction?"
The filthy person seemed conflicted. "Uh… My name is Bill? Wait, NO! Shut up, I'm going to drink you."
Huh? Eww. "I wouldn't do that."
The world spun, and suddenly John was dangling from mid air as teeth tore into the side of his throat from behind.
Oh that was CERTAINLY a bad idea for Bill.
[[External force attempting to extract Soul. Deploying decoy Soul construct.]]
Again, John tried to warn the homeless man… But it was hard to talk without half his throat and now it was too late anyway.
Bill froze, face torn between extreme satisfaction and growing horror. "What the FUCK!?"
Then he popped.
Everywhere.
It was a mess, and John fell right into a puddle of it. Eww. "Gurggle."
Oops, fix the throat damage first. "Sorry Bill. But I DID try to warn you."
The bloody pulp that was rapidly shifted into dry dust didn't respond, but John assumed that Bill appreciated the apology regardless.
It was his fault really. Who tried to drink people's Souls through their blood, honestly?
That was just unhygienic. And not safe, considering how non-standard John's Soul was by this point.
[[Event as been appended to the ongoing activity logs.]]
DAMN IT DISTRACTION! You had ONE JOB!