John rolled his eyes at the massive crowd of Iron defenders. "No, you all can't just come along. And I know most of you don't really want to either! Protecting something, a place, an ideal, that is who you all are! It is IMPORTANT to you, and you shouldn't throw that away just because I made you!"

Some award glances and embarrassed shuffling in the crowd proved his point. "Anyway, I'm here to inform everybody metallic about more than just my upcoming travel plans. [[Home]], could you show the production floor please?"

The door that his sister didn't know about appeared, and he led the way. "Now this place is as safe as I and our [[Home]] can make it, and only exists technically when it is both needed and in use… But this is a secret only shared between members of your own race, understood?"

Not that he doubted their loyalty. John was pretty sure people around the globe, MULTIPLE globes, wished for this level of adoration and care from those who followed them. "I went for redundancy here. I think technically, this is a hidden subdivision of Doe Park's 'Crafting Creations' company, only they can't control it or change anything because I made it belong to all of you."

He led them past row after row of Crafting Chests. "Because they all rely solely on multiple Infinite Water Source Block systems for raw material, it will be much slower than the Crafting Chests elsewhere in the park… But in return, this place is fully self sufficient and can stay secret for years."

John reached to pat the nearest row of boxes. "These generate Iron Bars. Those generate Pumpkins, next ones? Iron Shears. That group over there generates Torches."

Moving on, he walked to the main production area. "All those are just in case something goes wrong with ALL the Crafting Chests and some such in THIS area… Plus, one of the girls found out that you can easily absorb Iron Bars like nomming on them like candy bars to repair any damage you acquire. So uh, I guess those also account as a snack generating backup supply… Anyway."

John turned to face the stunned mass of iron people. "THIS side makes ready to use Iron Blocks, and THESE Crafting Chests produce Carved Pumpkins lit by Torches out of the box. Literally out of the box."

He easily opened one on the left and right and began stacking. "As I'm sure all of you know, it's two blocks high and one block for either arm…" Align the Lantern on top… "And there we go!"

The boy watched the material shift and warp into a VERY tall metallic woman holding a trident with fish scales armoring her limbs… And supporting her very impressive chest. Some sort of genetic bra?

Damn it, don't lose focus. "Hey, happy birthday! I'm sure the others will explain what is going on, but for now… Grace, can you guide her over to the Security Staff support group?"

His attractive friend nodded happily and guided the stunned mermaid warrior to the side as John focused back on the crowd. "See, if I am moving on towards my sister's home? You guys need the ability to self procreate to be viable as a people. While you are all strong, and unaging, and all that… This world is a shithole and I fully expect some of you to get badly hurt or eventually die."

Although whichever asshole dared to do so was going to pay a price. 'Crafting Creations' wasn't just making 'normal' protective armor and weaponry after all. Eventually his Defenders would be able to walk up and bitch slap any random angel or demon who wanted to stomp them down.

But until then… "This place, this park… It's not just our [[Home.]] It's your [[Home]] too!"

The room felt slightly warmer and safer.

John pointed at the equipment. "When you need to heal, when you choose to procreate, you can always come [[Home]] and it will bring you here. When everything organic eventually falls away, and the world passes on… Our [[Home]] will remain, to welcome you all back."

He'd make sure of it.

Anyway. "Not that this is an excuse to not write to me and the girls! I know Grace would break down in tears if you guys don't write AT LEAST once a week, and don't believe Temptation's brave outer exterior: She needs to know you care too!"

His demonic temptress huffed, metallic cheeks blushing. Oh hush, you know it's true. "I also expect you to tell me if anything big comes up, something you girls and guys can't handle! Just put it in a letter, place it in our [[Home]] while wanting me to know, and I'll get it immediately."

…Which was technically not true.

His System would acquire the letter instantly, and do that complicated sorting/prioritizing/duplicating/time shifting/alternate version hustling/transaction thing it did, then eventually a version of John Doe would be notified.

A version of John Doe with time, ability, and the needed emotional investment to happily show up back here and take care of the situation.

It could be him from the future, one from the past, one that never existed, one of those that exist TOO MUCH and overlap, but in the end it didn't matter.

One way or the other, John would fix whatever was going wrong.

There were costs to operating a complicated System module like this, but thankfully future variants of himself were VERY powerful and happy to supply the needed resources to ensure the ongoing communication network John was still currently constructing, thank goodness.

Not that he would be allowed to remember that he was 'cheating' by 'helping himself', but what he didn't know in this case wouldn't cause a retroactive temporal paradoxical dimensional cascade collapse.

John blinked, slightly confused for some reason. "Sorry, what was I saying?"

Self sufficient renewing supplies, Crafting Chests generating material for future Defenders, how the Security staff could stay in contact with him in case anything went wrong… Oh, of course! "Right, the map."

He pulled up a shifting and mutating map into view. "This is more of a 'Just so you know' and a useful security tool than anything, but again: No one but us can know about it."

He pointed at the image. "Our [[Home]] is becoming magically nondeterministic. In other words, doing the same actions will NOT give you the same outcomes. Rooms are fading in and out of existence and time and place and all that, the entire park is becoming a bit too flexible."

John sighed as he scratched his head looking at the thing. "That's why I've been posting maps all over the facilities down here, both for you and for the guests, with helpful stars showing where the viewer is standing in 'real time'. The maps are a lie."

Sensing confusion from his audience, he shrugged. "It's mostly fine for now, but in the future your location in the park and the relative positioning of all the locations within will slide and shift and transpose themselves freely, likely guided by our [[Home]] itself to be more 'helpful'."

He tapped the magical image. "So the fake maps I put out will ensure that all the people living here will self-reinforce the structure of the place. Oh sure, lost children will accidentally 'stumble' into their parents and a bathroom will 'just happen' to be nearby, and all that… But hopefully my preemptive measures will ensure those with weaker grips on reality won't notice how impossible the park is and have a mental breakdown."

Like, that shouldn't be a HUGE concern, but best to avoid potential lawsuits. "Everyone here can of course request the master map at any time and our [[Home]] will be overjoyed to help out. She can also mark your teams or targets, arrange shortcuts, and all the other wonderful features we've been enjoying recently. Just remember to treat your [[Home]] well and she'll take care of you."

The head of the Security Division gestured her hand… Oh. "No, I wouldn't show this to any locals that aren't made out of Essence imbued materials constantly purified by Magical Torches in their skulls. Especially not the locals we hired into the topside security sweep teams! The map can damage 'normal' minds if viewed too often, it's why this version of the thing is classified and I'm not letting Jessica see it."

Seriously, his Body and Mind and Soul were backed up and even HE felt som strain if he truly unfolded everything going on in his [[Home.]]

Squishy mortals seeing this? Bad idea.

Anything else? Right, the website. "Speaking of my sister! I'm sure she is going to bring this up too at some point, several times, but since we are both moving on we don't want to leave you guys to interact with the local government alone… Or with the state government. Or America. Or… ANY of it. The whole thing is a horrific mess of corruption, abuse, and worse."

He pulled up a web screen. "So she asked me to make this website…"

~~~Pocket System~~~

Jessica pointed at the screen and the massive crowd of John Park group leaders followed along. "This is our new 'legality wizard', only directly usable by our staff but open for all of you to interact with when needed. It actively documents and copies all forms needed to operate in Sunnydale."

And all forms to operate anything anywhere on this planet. John's system had hacked ALL THE THINGS and just collected forms from EVERYWHERE it could, even duplicate, altered, and modified variants of them in the process.

She pretended to tap on her keyboard as the help bar filled in her thoughts. "So if I wanted to sell drinks at my hair salon?"

Seven forms showed up, all prefilled and organized. It would require six signatures, but BAM, issue done! "The cliff notes side section lists various gotchas and any requirements you must adhere to after filing this, as you all can see… But if any of them are too onerous or are against your wishes you can always get rid of them."

Jessica clicked the one clause limiting the consumption of sold alcohol to off premises only, and a new list of forms appeared. "As seen here. These are the required exemption forms, or sometimes extension forms that must be filed over time, and as you all see they are also prefilled."

Carefully undoing all the steps, she returned to the main screen. "When you are satisfied with the outcome and can accept any related costs or restrictions, this tool will automatically file the forms with the correct offices, follow them up if any are delayed or whatever, and the situation is mostly done."

Another window came up. "This is your personal update page, which will list any upcoming fees or costs, any forms that need to be reapplied and when and all that, etc. Other alerts like change in tax code or whatever will also show up, etc."

A hand was raised. "Yes?"

The woman in VERY tight leather stood with confidence. "I don't see a login page, or anywhere for us to document our details to auto fill the forms… Is this a prototype or…?"

Ah, right. "No, this is live right now. And you don't need to log in or provide a bunch of old documents or whatever. As part of our new website security, it KNOWS who you are when you use it, and no one else can access that data. In fact, only you can see your own information when you visit the site! That's why only our Security Staff can actually submit the forms directly to the various offices and so forth, we don't want there to be any accusations about someone else submitting something with your information through our new service."

She waved at the screen. "As a side note? Any of you CAN use the 'legality wizard' on your own at any time to try it out. You can even print out the forms yourself to submit manually, if you wish… But the main point of this is to make sure that all of our interactions between Doe Park and Sunnydale's leader are always done correctly and up to the level of professionalism we expect from our people."

Thus giving that scary man NO REASON to crack down on this place. Oh, the Defenders could probably protect the park if something did happen, but why take the risk?

Just fill out the paperwork, pay the needed fees, and avoid ALL of that! Problem solved.

One of the audience members fiddling with his phone suddenly jerked. "Holy SHIT, have you guys seen the 'Personal Profile' page!? How does it know all this stuff!? This new website filled out EVERYTHING perfectly! I can barely even REMEMBER my roommate, much less that I used him as a reference before! Is this really his new contact information?"

She snorted. "Like I said, our website security knows you… And we have GOOD website security. As my brother and I will be working on another project for some time, we wanted to make sure the park can continue operating without issues even if we are busy at the moment."

One of the others raised a hand. "What if it doesn't have the forms I need?"

Not an issue, considering how much raw information John had collected to set this thing up. "It will list any such issues or missing forms as you go, and what you would need to do in that situation."

Again: Not really.

Considering how empowered her [[Home]] had become, and how the new 'website' was hooked directly INTO said home… The new 'paperwork wizard' wouldn't just find the right forms and fill it out with information it shouldn't or couldn't possibly know.

It would GENERATE needed forms, and had enough Belief infusing this place to nudge Reality into accepting it.

Want to open a restaurant? Easy. Rezone your stall to sell magically enhanced kittens? No problem! Change your home address to be half within this reality and half within your new store front connected by magical doorways? Simple! If you need a license for your pet fish or other related exotic animals? Consider it done.

You'd think that would require enormous amounts of power and resources to pull off, hoodwinking an entire world like this… But as it turned out? Nope! Barely anything.

Then again, considering how massive and byzantine the world of governance is anyway, the probability that paperwork ALREADY existed to do half that stuff was already remarkably high to begin with… So maybe she should have expected this to be 'cheap' to operate, power wise.

Didn't matter in the long run.

No, the important bit was keeping the horrific outside world OUT of Doe Park and making sure Jessica didn't get swamped with mailed paperwork for the rest of time from this place in the future. Because that was actually possible thanks to her brother's reality crossing mailing service.

But with this new tool, anything needed locally could either be filled out automagically and submitted or, if all else fails? The most reliable local mercenary groups and any needed paperwork to employ THEM to fix shit would be right there and ready to go!

Peace of mind despite leaving this mess to another world, achieved!

As for the extra bits… For example: Pushing her brother into altering their [[Home]] to automate most current (And potentially) future paperwork FOREVER?

In a way that complies with local laws and will always check out as above board and without issue?

That was just a bonus!

…A pretty amazing bonus, to be sure, but still.

The loudly murmuring crowd reviewing the new application shifted slightly as one of the women in the back called out. "Hey Ms. Doe! I think this 'Financial Overview' webpage is broken, the numbers don't seem right."

Huh? "Oh? One moment." She pulled up her own page… "Mine certainly seems to be on target. What's wrong on your side?"

The confused lady tapped on her phone, scrolling. "Most of my costs this month seem lower than expected I guess… And I don't know why my new stall taxes are just marked 'paid'."

Ah, that. Jessica nodded. "Yeah, I read through the mess of how local taxes are calculated for local owners and out of town renters and temporary facilities and… And it was all just a massive headache I didn't want to mess with. So instead Doe Park is marking it as 'paid', but really we just decided to give everyone free utility services and stuff and have the entire facility as a whole pay off any needed taxes directly to the government ourselves. Simplified the whole thing, really."

Plus, water and waste handling and electrical energy was basically free anyway considering the Essence Water Source Blocks plus all that raw Belief and Magic that saturated their [[Home.]]

Charging the locals money for free stuff felt a bit scummy.

The murmuring stopped as they stared at her in shock.

Oops. "I uh… So yeah, that's all handled. Plus I… Uh. I filled out the needed forms?"

…Awkward.

Shift focus! "Anyway, that's the new service from our website, the 'legality wizard'. Any questions?"

ALL the hands went up.

Damn it! She should have just left already!