After a bit of quick thinking and a significant amount of lecturing, John managed to divert his sister and the girls from his thievery issues by suggesting a quick display of his (unexpected) products!
It didn't NEGATE being grounded for accidentally attempting to download Reality into his Pocket, but it HAD distracted his sister before she could establish what said grounding would actually entail.
Heck, if he played his cards right he might be able to distract her from this whole mess entirely and avoid ALL the potential consequences of his earlier slipup!
Which was good, because he needed that time to look into his Pocket settings and figure out what exactly happened here. He even decided to set aside the 'Planetary Transformer Server of Awesomeness' project entirely for now!
John was being SUPER focused and ULTRA mature about fixing this issue! It would be fixed, no problem and no doubt!
So uh… What had actually gone wrong here?
His current theory? Accidentally setting up his System to be TOO helpful.
When his [[Home]] was established, his Pocket allocated a low percentage of his Resources to automatically supply any needed materials to those visiting his residency… Which then grew to include all of Doe Park and the Underpark.
And if something was needed but not available, John had configured his Pocket to simply Craft what was needed from that tiny amount of allocated resources mentioned earlier.
So BEFORE coming here, his Pocket was already prepared to just Craft anything he desired, as long as it only required minimal investment and used materials already designated as consumable or recyclable.
Then John had gotten a new body.
One that could use raw power to convert base material elements into any known patterns, via the various teleportation modules or the experimental replicators that had been tossed into his mess of a system.
Then he had taken said new body, wired it up directly to a planet's worth of Borg efficient power generation with no limitations or security measures, and… Well…
Suddenly, that 'tiny fraction of available spare resources' didn't calculate out to be nearly that 'tiny' anymore. Not even remotely.
The 'available materials to work with' needle was actually pointing a bit closer to 'unlimited' than 'negligible amount', honestly. And he didn't actually have any alerts set up to WARN him when some portion of his System accidentally transcended limitations due to unexpected local mishaps.
Like, he did NOW, but not BEFORE!
He uh… He was still going to have to go back and look into the mess after he finished distracting his new tour group around the newly Crafted privately owned simulation scenarios.
There might be MANY side effects to just having his System auto-Craft a bunch of stuff without his notice, and it would probably be a great idea to review any actions it may have taken… A point mentioned several times by his sister during her opening rants when he explained the general situation and all that.
But hopefully showing off the (accidentally created) simulated wonders would both distract them from his earlier 'oopsie' AND be a fun little social activity! A bonding experience, maybe a chance to see what that 'not a kiss' thing was about!
Plus, as mentioned before: He never HAD fed ducks at a pond before.
It was about time to change that! Let's go throw food fragments at birds! WOO!
This should be fun!
~~~Pocket System~~~
John didn't pout as he sat in the back with his sister and the girls quietly.
After all, it would be rude to intrude on the ongoings… Even if, due to rules established in the Simulation, none of the ducks noticed nor interacted with the odd bystanders in the court.
They were aware of the tall non-ducks in the back, just… Didn't seem to care that much, as much larger issues (Figuratively) were at stake right now.
"Quack quacken quack QUACK!" A dramatic wing pointed at the shocked duckling at the witness stand!
The court began clucking and quacking and pecking at corn in the audience seating, all a flutter in astonishment!
BANG bang BANG! "Quack! Quack quack quack quack!" The wise Judge Duck of Duckerton smashed his gavel as he called for order!
Jessica was fascinated. "I never suspected the gardener did it."
Grace hummed. "Sometimes it is the most innocent quacks that disguise the most incriminating waddles of them all!"
John frowned. "I… I don't even REMEMBER watching Matlock, when did it get sampled to be added into the simulation's 'random special event' easter eggs?"
Temptation just hugged him closer. "Shh, I feel like a big dramatic twist is building up soon."
He sighed and scattered some more corn to the slightly less intellectual audience ducklings, who eagerly quacked and bustled about to enjoy the lovely snack. "I'll admit, I am pretty impressed that the Borg translation matrix software can even interpret a language that is over 90% composed of a single sound… But I was expecting more, you know…"
Jessica lightly smacked his shoulder. "Shh, the defense attorney is about to cross examine the witness!"
"Quack quack quack… Quack QUACK QUACK!" "Quack!?" Quack quack quack!" "QUACK!?"
Temptation grinned! "Ha, I KNEW there was a setup for a big dramatic reveal here!"
John sighed as the room went nuts with loud quacking and the Judge attempted to regain order. "I want to go visit the pond after this though, alright? Please?"
His sister absently nodded. "Of course, John. I don't know Grace, I'm not sure I believe the whole seed smuggling ring allegations at all anymore at this point. Do you think that was a coverup story, or a…"
Temptation giggled! "Shh, I don't want to miss this bit!"
Sigh… John slumped slightly.
At least he could enjoy the cuddling with his demoness until the trial wraps up.
~~~Pocket System~~~
John frowned. "Alright, the 'auto-generate simulation scenario' script must have been acting up when it designed this pond."
Grace was holding a bread crumb over her head the size of a small car as she shouted towards the ocean sized water source! "THE LORD HAS PROVIDED SUSTENANCE! THIS CRUMB HA BEEN BESTOWED UPON YE, THE DUCKLING OF LARGE SIZE! BLESSED BE THE DUCKS!"
A massive yellow webbed foot shifted nearby. "Q҉̨͈̝̩͛̒͐͡u҈̫̐͜͠ͅa҉̧̯̑͝c҉̧̪͇̇͠k̸̨̛̲͈͉͛̽̽."
Jessica was laughing like a mad woman as she helped Temptation struggle to carve off more massive snacks from the building sized bread loaf partially unwrapped nearby using their Borg weaponry, so at least THEY were having fun…
John pulled open the settings. "There shouldn't even BE an instance of 'Honey I shrunk the Kids' included in this scenario in the first place… Something is really messed up in my configuration scripts, it has to be!"
'Random special events' were supposed to be SPECIAL because they were RARE, not happening one after another!
But after they had been thrown into the Matlock thing they barely had an hour of relaxing at the pond before they got zapped by a horrified duck in a lab coat transporting a familiar shrink ray device and now…
Temptation chewed on a fragment of a fragment of a bit of crumb. "Man, is it supposed to taste this good? Hey Master, come taste this! This shit is like five star quality bread here, no joke!"
"LANGUAGE!"
John slumped. "In a second, I just… I need to know why we keep getting pulled into strange situations like this. I can probably fix it in a minute or two."
Jessica laughed as her welding laser was used to toast/harvest another massive crumb of bread. "Come on bro, climb up here and try this!"
It did look pretty awesome… But he really shouldn't… "Maybe in a bit."
She flexed her limb, her fingers altering into sharp claws that easily supported her weight as the nearby car sized crumb began to tumble down the loaf. "Real talk for a second here: Are we in danger right now?"
John blinked. "No?"
His sister nodded. "And will more crazy stuff happen to us SOON, or do we have time to enjoy this a bit?"
Uh. "No additional scenarios should happen as long as we REMAIN in one like this… Until we hike over that way to the shrink ray and climb up it to 'complete' the challenge, or until we officially give up, I mean."
After all, this wasn't one of the timed challenges or multiplayer games or whatever. The whole point of this movie adaptation was to enjoy the strange world of being tiny, after all.
His sister grinned! "Then climb up here and help me carve off more crumbs for Grace to feed the ducklings, alright? I promise we won't end the scenario or anything until you get a chance to figure out what is going on and all that, so there shouldn't be any rush. Right?"
John blinked as he considered things from that point of view… And uh… Yes, she had a point. "Alright, yeah… Yeah, as long as we don't set off another 'random event', it should be safe enough for us to relax here a bit."
She laughed! "Then climb on up and help me work through this ridge of crust up here! I want to see if we can hack off a stable enough chunk to eat the inside and turn it into a sled or something."
John began altering his artificial right arm to one of the bladed options. "Be right there!"
Grace giggled as she flew past him towards more crumbs. "My Lord, you two hurry up! Our duckish followers are hungry for the crumbs of salvation!"
He felt his face break out into a smile as he began clumbering his way up the bread mountain… this craziness might not technically COUNT as 'feeding the ducks by the pond' officially, but to be fair? It WAS becoming a very memorable bonding experience! "More crumbs on the way, Grace!"
~~~Pocket System~~~
The Vulcan blinked as she entered one of the new simulations that had suddenly been added to the Collective network and found herself towering over the bustling crowds in the miniature city. "Fascinating."
A small creature wearing a dashing gray hat, labeled as 'Detective Duckling', waddled up to her foot as her prosthetics took local scans. "Quack."
It was apparently smoking a pipe, which was producing bubbles. For some unknown reason.
T'mer knelt for easier communication. "I am sorry, but you are mistaken: I am not this 'Dr. Watson' you are searching for."
The 'duckling' then huffed, puffed some bubbles, and then pointed the pipe at her as he began to waddle to one side. "Quack."
Oh, she was to play the ROLE of said doctor, for there was a mystery afoot.
Well, she had decided to explore this simulation to find answers. It would be logical to continue her journey and find where said answers may lead. "Very well, Mr. Holmes."
The tiny animal hadn't even paused his stride, tiny tail wagging back and forth as he stalked some unknown suspect. "Quack?"
She carefully followed, not willing to injure or impact any of the passing ducks in their small costumes. "No, I am afraid I am unaware of the recent theft of an entire private library. Assume that I am fully uninformed of any local events or activities."
As he puffed his pipe, he glanced over one wing and gave her a look. "Quack."
Her eyes widened. "An entire book thieving ring? Astounding. And this next location is the scene of the most recent heist?"
With resolution and a small cloud of bubbles, the detective gave a fierce nod. "Quack."
This was all becoming more than a little beyond her initial expectations. "Fascinating."
~~~Pocket System~~~
W'upak Sadox guffawed loudly! "You have fought BRAVELY young bird, but today's triumph will be MINE!"
The klingon carefully used his battle forged self control to delicately grasp the wooden block, fully confident in his ability to dominate his own reflexes! "No tower of J'enga can defy my will! Behold!"
He moved swiftly and with purpose as the tower failed to even wobble, a supporting block firmly grasped in his hand but freed from its gravimetric binding and sibling structures! "IT IS DONE! K'PLAH!'
"QUACK!?" "QUACK!" "QUACK!" "QUACK!" "QUACK!" "QUACK!"
The surrounding bird creatures were MIGHTILY impressed by his achievement, but his opponent was UNWILLING to give in despite the near impossible odds! "QUACK! Quack quack quack quack!"
W'upak grinned in eagerness and his body radiated confidence as the room fell into silence, waiting for his opponent to begin their turn… But he had to admit deep in his heart: He wished his foe to flinch on their feathered attempt.
For he was not confident that the next block acquired could be gained so easily!
~~~Pocket System~~~
Drone Eight of Ten was unsure of the ongoing situation. "I am unsure of this ongoing situation."
His comrade sighed as he casually slung an arm around his shoulders. "Eight, you gotta unwind! I know a lot of you drones are uptight when raised outside established collectives, but socializing is an important step to help you adapt to the wider society!"
Drone Eight of Ten was not convinced of the factual contents of comrade Jacob's statement. "I am not convinced of the factual contents of comrade Jacob's statement."
Comrade Jacob chuckled. "Trust me! My team's integrated DOZENS of drones fresh off the cube, and your efficiency and ability to communicate with planetary collectives will improve by at LEAST 12.335% if you follow my guidance! There is a real difference between growing up in the default childhood simulation and being raised by parents, and stuff like this can help bridge that gap."
Drone Eight of Ten was not pleased by the characterization of the default childhood simulation. "The default childhood simulation was very efficient and took care of all my needs and requirements, while also adapting me to…"
Comrade Jacob waved that off. "Hey now, I'm not trying to insult you or nothing! Just…" He sighed. "Look, I'm sure you noticed how it can be hard for you to interact with those of us from one of the unified planets, yes?"
Confirmed. "That is correct."
He nodded. "Well, you'd adapt and learn how to better integrate with society ANYWAYS, but this kind of activity can REALLY speed up the process! Now come one, Andy picked out a simulation for the whole team where we can teach you how to play."
Drone Eight of Ten was unsure of how this 'Basketball' would increase team productivity rating, but his supervisor had clearance and proper authority protocols. "I shall comply."
Comrade Jacob grinned! "Great! Let me just ping the group and slice into their simulation instance, I'm sure they've got a court ready for us by now anyway… Oh, and remember to disable your auxiliary manipulation units too before we play! Stephanie almost melted the ball once when she forgot to disable her welding modules."
The simulation shifted, and then they were both located within the Simulation of this 'Basketball Court' that Jacob had been detailing in the earlier debriefing.
Each of his comrades were gathered together, the team prepared to…
"Quack?"
Drone Eight of Ten was unsure of the ongoing situation. "I am unsure of this ongoing situation."
His fellow 'teammates' were also uncharacteristically silent, but that failed to clarify his confusion about the current status of the planned 'basketball group bonding game' that had been planned.
Drone Eight of Ten sought clarification. "For clarification: Basketball is intended to be a 'team bonding activity' wherein said sporting event involves competing in said activities against immature avian opponents?"
"Quack."
Drone Eight of Ten has received clarification. "I feel that our team, being composed of humanoids of prime maturity and in optimum physical condition, shall hold a significant advantage over your gathered collection of immature avian sporting activists."
Comrade Jacob raised his manipulator arm, pointing at the tiny team of creatures in sporting outfits. "Andy? What the hell is THIS!?"
Comrade Andy didn't even flinch. "Sir, I… I mean, the scenario claimed to be a basketball simulation… I just assumed calling the server 'Duck Dynasty' was some sort of in-joke or something…"
The apparent leader of the immature avian opponents raised his beak in a display of dominance towards Comrade Jacob. "Quack!"
Comrade Jacob blinked. "Did… Did I just get called out by a duck?"
"Quack."
Comrade Jacob slowly stood tall. "Fuck it, I'm not going to back down from that. Everyone, we are about to DESTROY these quackers!"
"""YEAH!""" "No, they are so cute!" "Stephanie, you have to treat basketball opponents seriously!" "BUT LOOK HOW CUTE THEY ARE!" "We aren't hurting them or anything, just… Don't dribble on any of them and it should be fine!"
Drone Eight of Ten was unsure of the ongoing situation. "I am unsure of this ongoing situation."
Comrade Jacob grabbed his arm. "Well be unsure about all this AFTER we kick some duck ass in a hardcore game of BASKETBALL! LET'S GO TEAM!"
Drone Eight of Ten was VERY unsure of the ongoing situation!