John didn't regret the 'pie incident'. At all.

He DID regret having the area go into lockdown, people freaking out, the hysterical screaming of the perverted corner peeping jerk as he frantically claimed death would come by pie crust, and all that…

But mostly because it caused everything to fall into a greater mess and a huge hassle.

They ended up putting John in a different room and 'starting over' entirely, which MIGHT have gone well if they hadn't ALSO put another 'undetectable' dude in the corner. Again.

…Honestly, hurling a Banoffee Pie at THAT guy? THAT was what made John feel a wee bit guilty in the end.

Because unlike the LAST stalker, who was clearly an asshole of the highest order, THIS dude was just a very confused, whipped cream covered person just trying to do his job.

Like, to the point where even when everything fell into lockdown again, the guy complimented John's baking skills. And asked if he could get another to take home with him after work and HIS now mandatory decontamination procedure.

So John ended up Crafting a few dozen pies for Gerald, promised to send him an instant message (When John had access to that sort of thing) to find out what his family thought of the various recipes, and waved him off to go through red tape and annoying testing.

And to prevent further issues, John managed to talk to the testers and discovered two things:

First, the undetectable people were not meant to be detected. Which seemed obvious, in retrospect.

Second, the fact John COULD detect them meant that ALL these tests were the WRONG ONES entirely. Because they were not intended to be administered to people with beyond impossible sensing ability and talents.

So uh, at least it prevented him from going through all this a THIRD time, as they no longer had pre established procedures for verifying his sanity, various hazard statuses, etc.

Instead, he was going to get to meet someone! And if John didn't throw a pie at him and he decided everything was fine, this would all be over! HUZZAH!

~~~Pocket System~~~

The door opened, showing a Ninja.

Uh… Neat?

The ninja looked at John.

John waved.

The ninja stared harder at John.

John's waving slowed under the intense focus of the warrior.

The door closed.

Um. Were they done now? Did he pass? Best ask someone. And maybe request more snacks, the popcorn was gone now. And the bowl. And part of the table.

…Long story short: No, they were not done just yet.

Apparently his situation would have to be escalated up the chain a bit.

So… Yay? Maybe the next dude will be a pirate! Those go with ninjas, right?

~~~Pocket System~~~

John was running out of table bits he could eat without having the remaining scraps collapse when he heard someone else walking swiftly down the hall towards his room.

"...can see him from HERE, and THAT is concerning enough…"

…Wonder if they brought snacks?

The door opened to a VERY familiar looking (but not identical) ninja.

John raised a hand. "Yo?"

The man reached into his bag and pulled out a… A sort of giant blank gold disk? "Hold this, kid."

Um. "I'm sorry?"

Then the ninja was next to him, and the thing shoved into his hands. "I said NOW, damn it! How the HELL are you even conscious right now!?"

Oh, a theological question! "I assume it's related to how my Soul resonates with my organs in my Body while still adapting to the contents of my Mind! I meant to do more research on that at some point, but you know how life gets hectic and all that. Plus I was getting pretty hungry recently, so that was distracting…"

The ninja stared at him in growing astonishment. "Kid, you are BLEEDING."

Wait, what? "No I'm not. I got a new Body today! I'm 1000% healthy."

The guy huffed as magical interfaces began flickering around his body. "Brat, you are flat out HEMORRHAGING raw power into the Morphin Grid at a beyond lethal rate. Any Zorg would have structurally collapsed by now, and if this sort of drain was connected to a HUMAN they'd have been sucked dry already."

John slowly blinked at that as he fiddled with the coin. "The what now?"

More and more scans were being performed as the ninja continued to work. "The Morphin Grid, or at least the ones networked into this whole mess of a 'hub world'. No matter what you use to connect to it, like Power Coins or Power Spheres or Dino Gems or whatever, they all connect up to this ethereal grid of both energy and matter transference called the Morphin Grid."

Huh. "Never heard of it."

The ninja snorted. "Whether you've heard of it or not, you were SPEWING your guts all over the thing! The version of me on site overviewing this district called me IMMEDIATELY when he saw you basically exploding into goo at such a horrendous rate."

He glared at John. "Again, I can't state this clearly enough: You SHOULD be dead by now."

This was like, what? The SECOND time someone wasn't sure he was dead today? "I would like to argue that I am, in fact, alive. At least for SOME definitions of living, anyway. If you want to convince me otherwise, you are going to have to give me a VERY convincing argument!"

John was ignored. "Do you feel any pain? Instability? Burning anywhere? Energy buildups?"

Uh. "No?" Huh. "On the other hand, I don't feel so hungry anymore. Is it because of this thing?" The medal thing in his hand felt half theoretical, or temporally displaced. Very unusual.

The guy huffed. "That 'thing' as you call it is a hack job I slapped together when the version of me that works in this area saw you figuratively bleeding out on the floor."

He pointed at the disk. "That is a kludged together heavily restricted 'Power Coin'. Not aligned with any specific spiritual or magical or conceptual force, not bound to any ancient energy cache or tied to some future overflow, just a mess of materials shoved into a somewhat useful functionality. I ripped most of the features and utility of it out to focus on energy transfers."

Huh. "A Power Coin, huh? What's it supposed to do?"

The ninja poked John's arm with something that began to quietly beep and boop. "It is trying to keep you stable by shoving some of the energy you are spewing out into the Morphin Grid right back into your body... And it is doing a shit job of it. But hopefully it is helping to some degree to keep you from deflating or exploding or whatever it is your body is trying to do here."

That was kind of neat! "I wonder if that's why I feel less hungry now? Good thing though, I was running out of table to chew on."

The man froze… And looked at the debris on the ground. "That was a table?"

John nodded. "Had some good amounts of aluminum in it, which gives the material a zingy flavor. Very tingly, good stuff."

He missed the guy's expression as he chewed on the scraps still in his hand. "I've been going for a more metallic source of food these last few hours because other people freak out a bit when I try to sneak some of that radioactive material I managed to gather from the 'Combat Zone' earlier. It's not like I'd let any of those tasty energetic isotopes escape my snacks while chewing them, I have good table manners and all… But you know, it's best to not rock the boat."

But later? LATER John was going to make a fondue out of that glowing purple stuff and start dipping the red and green glowing material in it! Just thinking about that warm flesh warping goo just making his whole skin and muscular system radiate with delicious goodness was tempting enough already!

Ninja man leaned back as a whole new set of magical and technological sensors came online. "Just for confirmation: You HAVEN'T been eating radioactive material recently, yes?"

John shrugged. "Not since this morning." Oops! "And don't mention this to my sister either, she'll either want to stop me or get me to share some of that stuff with the others."

Which was TOTALLY not fair! "I mean, sure their enhanced bodies can survive contact with this stuff, but they don't taste things the same way as I do when I Consume them into my Pocket. Sharing a snack like this would be WASTED on them, like sharing coconut candy with someone who doesn't like the taste!"

Plus, he got it on his own fair and square. You didn't see John stealing JESSICA'S delicious snacks from when she grabbed all that stuff over at the O.W.C.A., at least not until she offered to share it on her own!

…Which probably meant that she was being a better sibling than him. Damn it. "Fine, I'll share some with the others. Or at least offer them a taste first, to see if they like it and it doesn't somehow start mutating their Bodies in unexpected ways."

Ninja dude held up a hand, and John politely hushed up as implied. "Let me take some sensor readings, adjust my 'Cycling Power Coin' prototype to better intercept the energy you are bleeding out if at all possible, and put a pin on anyone eating ANYTHING radioactive. Alright?"

John glanced around the empty room. "Would I be able to get out of here faster if we do?"

The guy shrugged. "Now that I've seen you in person and through the Morphin Grid, sure. You are broken and bleeding, but you don't seem to be infected or compromised by cognitohazards or infohazards at least. Or any of a few dozen other concerns, like unwilling consciousness transference or temporal instability fracturing. You could walk out now if you want, no problem."

He then pointed at some data charts. "That said, I want to at LEAST ensure your average rate of energy discharge is balanced with my short term fix with the power input. Even if no obvious issue or danger shows up at first, I refuse to believe it is at ALL good for you to be basically vomiting and bleeding endless energy fields and power streams like this."

The dude went back to typing at an impressive rate. "I should have something solid for you in ten minutes or so. Or at least good enough to call me if you suddenly destabilize or go into critical condition. Now, hold this sensor and tell me what parts of your body sound blue."

…Leave now or do the responsible thing (While also avoiding his sister giving him a lecture later)?

Sigh. Fine, let's do this.

John held the green crystal and focused. "My left foot sounds red, nothing sounds blue, but my right elbow feels mango."

The ninja dude hummed and made some notes… Actually. "What is your name, by the way? The ninja from earlier left too fast for me to ask him before he left… Oh, I'm John Doe! Nice to meet you!"

The guy paused as he calibrated his many systems and settings. "Hmm? Ah, right, you aren't a local. Most people recognize me on sight, considering how much work all of us put in around here… I'm Ninjor 31a, although most of us Ninjor variants end up giving each other nicknames. As I am the Hub World's Morphin Grid lead administrator, most call me 'Hubby'."

Um. "But we aren't married?"

And got a wink. "Not with THAT attitude we're not! Now, stick out your tongue and count on your fingers until you can see yesterday."

People in this place were STRANGE.

Well, best get this over with. "Am I supposed to count until I see the yesterday of HERE, or the yesterday of where I was?"

Ninjor shrugged. "Either way's fine, you can start when this sensor turns invisible. Or incorporeal or… Wait, I might have retroactively unmade the stupid thing, give me five minutes."

…VERY strange.