Om nom nom, om nom nom… [[Poink!]]
A spike of power flooded John's body. "Grrrrr?" [[The heck was that?]]
Felt like he had just taken a shot of espresso mixed with an energy drink and a taser! Damn, whatever that was just flooded his basic zombie Body with more Sun than he'd eaten for the last ten minutes!
He slowly shifted his sluggish body to face forwards again, looking at the mostly consumed wall-nut and… [[Poink!]]
Oh. It was a pea shaped magical projectile. One that ignored the nut it just phased through entirely, and then sort of injected itself directly into his corpse. Tingly.
Apparently the situation farther along the lawn had been handled and now there would be projectiles to deal with if John wanted to eat anything further today. Which was fine, this was more a data gathering mission than an actual attempt to consume the Homeowner.
Speaking of these peashooters, they had a heck of a lot of power in just one shot too! Didn't seem to harm him though, so why were OTHER zombies falling apart just from being poked by these things?
…Well, let's find out!
John tried to grin (His face wasn't that flexible at the moment) and held up his left arm to catch the next… [[Poink!]]
His arm fell off.
…What? System, what just happened!?
[[Body component 'Arm-L' has become oversaturated with energy. Local safety protocols activated.]]
Safety protocols!? WHAT safety protocols!?
[[To protect the essence of an individual zombie, when Sun saturation reaches dangerous levels excess amounts are stored within a disposable limb, item, or vehicle for disposal. When current Body reaches critical levels without any safe methods to expel excess energy, the Body itself is discarded while the Zombie is reborn and potentially offered the opportunity to evolve.]]
John absently shifted his slow body, managing to dodge the next pea… And apparently that confused the HELL out of the plants in the row.
Which was odd, considering they were just solidified spells, but whatever… Oh dear, now the peashooter looked frustrated!
John tried to preemptively judge where the next shot would be aimed. "Braaains?" [[Hey system, what is the 'essence of an individual zombie'? Are we talking about their Souls?]]
Because most of these 'basic zombies' didn't seem to HAVE a Soul, as far as he could sense.
[[The energies composing the 'essence of an individual zombie', 'Zombie Identifier', or ZID, is a layered matrix of Soul, Concepts, and Mind fragments. When one of the three energies is lacking, they can be formed as the layered matrix stabilizes.]]
…Huh. So that was how these brain dead zombies could eventually become smart enough to enjoy reading a newspaper and talk and stuff.
Well, talk and actually MEAN something. These other basics were ALSO saying 'brains' and whatever, but it was some sort of automated reflex… No thought went into that process from what John could tell.
Step to the right… Missed me! "Bruuuuh!" [[Nice try, little green guy! Missed!]]
~~~Pocket System~~~
Jessica groaned. "He's taunting the plants."
Grace and Temptation kept cheering on John's VERY SLOW dodging skills, ignoring her completely.
Please bro: Please stop taunting the plants. "Solidified spells or not, those things are still made out of Magic. And from what I've seen at Doe's Park, Magic has a tendency to act VERY lifelike even when it shouldn't be able to do so."
John's zombie body, now missing his left arm, shuffled a bit too far to one side… And moved to a new lane without realizing it.
But the plants certainly did. "Grace?"
The angel blinked and looked at her in confusion. "Yes, my Lady?"
She pointed at the green defenders. "Is it just me, or are more and more of those things noticing how John's dodging stuff right now?"
That got both of the girls to pause and then… "Oh dear." "Fuck sis, they look angry…"
Yep. "I think… I think the 'repetitive and dumb behavior' shown by zombies sharing equipment may be less a requirement when using their evolved forms, and more a social contract."
In other words, none of the zombies were FORCED to act the way they did, but chose to do so because 'that is the way things should be.'
A social contract that John was stressing right now…
They all paused when a grumpy looking HUGE squash was placed in front of John by the Homeowner… And then John stepped BACKWARDS to allow another basic zombie to lurch forward and take the smashing in his place.
It was like the world was a record that had just been scratched.
ALL the zombies and ALL the plants were now staring at her little brother. Even a few yards of neighboring zombies and plants undergoing their OWN battle paused to stare in this direction.
John blinked, confused. "Brains?"
The zombies in his row slumped in depression… As ALL the plants suddenly attached John.
At the same time.
From ALL the rows.
INCLUDING rows belonging to OTHER lawns.
Her brother only had a moment to let out a shocked "GAR!?" before he vanished in explosions, firestorms, ice blasts, cobs of corn, flaming peas, thorns…
And as John evaporated from the chaos, so did HUNDREDS of nearby zombies in the process. Most with an exasperated and annoyed look on their faces before they popped/burned/froze/etc.
Then without another word or explanation, the massive number of solidified plant-shaped spells went back to 'normal', as if nothing had happened.
Just… Now they had far less pressure as the vast number of nearby zombies had been eradicated and it was going to take a while for new zombie hoards to stumble their way over to fill in the gaps.
Well. That was apparently a thing. Lovely. "Is John okay?"
Grace was already checking the data. "...I don't think he actually died." She pulled up more screens… "Yes, my Lord is still somewhere out there, but his Soul is now bound more to that 'zombie essence' mix of energy and Magic and Concepts and so forth. Sister, are you getting this data feed?"
The beautiful demoness hummed. "Enough for me to work with, yes. Give me a few days and I should be able to interact with this whole 'evolution' or 'leveling up' system so Master can just download the magical spell matrices for all these zombie types and their equipment."
Jessica frowned as she also began reviewing her brother's recent defeat data. "I thought more energy for his 'evolution' would be available, considering how thoroughly he was attacked just now…"
Grace hummed. "No, it's part of the safety limits… Any Sun beyond the capability for his basic zombie Body would be redirected outwards. It's why the followup explosions managed to have such a huge splash effect on those around him: The excess overflow would spread to other zombies, who would soak up some of the energy before ALSO popping… And so on and so forth."
Hmm. "I assume then he isn't going to be getting his zamboni just yet then?"
She winced. "Considering he only ate a portion of a single wall-nut and then got exploded… No. Not yet, and maybe not for a long time."
~~~Pocket System~~~
John blinked.
Well, not really.
He didn't have eyes.
Or a head.
…Basically he was Bodiless right now.
But also not?
Like, he had an existence at the moment, but he didn't feel like pure Soul or energy.
Couldn't move though, he felt way too heavy to even consider that… And something in his mind was poking him right now.
It was a mixture of energy and interaction and something that tasted like salad and Sunlight… And whatever it was happened to be requesting an answer.
Sleep, Rebirth, or Evolve.
But more than just words, they were options of emotion and consequence. They affected the near future, and needed to be considered carefully.
Sleep, to relax and return to the Sun, to one day awaken once more.
Rebirth. To return to the familiar and the habits of the recent past.
Evolve. The unknown potential of the future… It felt the least stable, but the most exciting.
John should choose his path, and find his way.
Maybe later, being a cloud or whatever was kind of neat!
He should choose.
Oh, he could sort of scoot to one side or the other by oozing himself out and then pulling this bit back in…
He. Should. Choose.
NOW.
EEP! Uh, Evolve! John chooses to Evolve, thank you very much!
And now things have become blurry and… Wait, didn't he get to pick what he evolved into!?
Feelings that implied the options were determined by those who gathered the Sun for the future began to humm in the air and… But John wants a zamboni! Come on, please? He'd be really careful when driving it!
As a basic zombie, those closest to slumber and drifting towards awakening, the empowerment of evolution was a journey of self discovery, a lengthy and never ending quest to… First, John would make a whole ice skating rink of ice with his magical zamboni, that way when the team of zombie bobsleds spawned in behind him they could ALSO zoom around on some ice for fun! It would be so awesome!
There were many steps required and paths to travel before one could… Speaking of the bobsled zombie teams, did they constantly spawn? Like, if John paved an ice path that was fifty yards long, would only ONE team follow behind him or would he end up with fifty teams of four zombies?
John was kicked out metaphorically. Hopefully with a zamboni!
~~~Pocket System~~~
Jessica was growing concerned. "What is taking so long? I thought we estimated that my brother would reform within an hour or less?"
Grace winced. "Well, the connection is a bit unusual right now, so I may be translating the data incorrectly…"
Temptation snorted. "Master is apparently being a nuisance to reality right now. So nothing unusual, but he's accidentally slowing down this whole process REALLY BADLY at this point."
Grace wasn't looking at Jessica. "I'm sure my Lord is just… wishing to learn more and interact with the underlying methods of this reality and how this Sun seems to be an overwatching…"
The demonic beauty cackled! "He just got punted out, back into existence! I can almost HEAR how frustrated the Sun Guidance of the Realm is right now!"
Jessica sighed in relief. "Well it's good to see that he can handle the unusual reincarnation cycle in this place, I was about to just pull him out and… Oh dear." That was not a zamboni.
On screen, John blinked confused… And reach towards his head. "Gar?" [[What the…]]
And now he was holding in his decayed hand… A traffic cone.
And staring at it. "Braaains!" [[LAAAAAME! Not even a bucket!? Come on!]]
Then the zombie considered it a bit more and… "Gar…" [[On the other hand, I get to eat more plants and stuff, and this should keep me safe for longer while eating… Yeah, I can work with…]]
[[Poink!]]
His left arm fell off.
The arm holding his traffic cone hat.
Which should have been on his head, to absorb the incoming pea damage.
John stared in confusion at his dropped limb/headwear. "Bruh?" [[Huh?]]
[[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]][[Poink!]]...
And his head popped off.
Apparently the Homeowner had set up SEVERAL gatling peas while John had been standing on that lawn staring at his hat.
Grace winced. "Oh dear."
Temptation was giggling like crazy! "Hee… Why did… HA! WHY take off your hat while ON the lawn!? I can't believe it… Oh. He's back already! It looks like this Realm doesn't want to put up with Master anymore during the reincarnation process, I barely managed to document his transition this time…"
Jessica sighed at the sight of her brother ranting at the distant plants that had just shot him, which for non-living things were currently looking more than a little smug. "I'm going to go back to reviewing our data for Crazy Dave. Please keep an eye on my brother while I'm focusing on that."
Grace nodded. "Of course I shall, my Lady!" "When DON'T you ogle our Master, you voyeur…" "SISTER!" "I'm just saying, I've seen your 'security log compilations'..."
Okay… Moving on!
Let's come up with some way to detect this impossible local human without the sensors screaming about pudding or his chinese brothers, 'Brave Dave' and 'Evil Dave'. Not that she could detect them, or even confirm that China EXISTED in this Realm at all…