John taped the massive box closed, checked the stamp one more time… And pushed it.

Well, not really… The box and everything in it was data, and this was a simulation from within his Pocket directed out towards a level of the afterlife that didn't exist inside of an odd form of Zombie Heaven, but in all ways that matters? John [[Pushed]] the box.

And moments later, or possibly slightly before he even sent it, the gifts/apology letter/pie bribes/Template options/box arrived for reality to enjoy.

While the girls and his sister kept watching the data screens though, John felt… More.

Awareness. Slight confusion. Curiosity.

Then something like… The taste of cyan? No, not quite… Huh, that must have been reality opening the box itself. Odd.

Realization. Something like the sound of onions, so the letter was being read? Growing bemusement. Exasperated appreciation… Growing astonishment? "Huh, I think reality liked my apology Templates!"

Felt like that anyway. Oh. "Also, I may have accidentally overlooked some sort of connection between myself, my Pocket, and reality while we are here. Because I can feel them as they…"

Shock! DELICIOUS PIE!? Glorious incredulous joy! A moment of silence… A TEMPLATE for endless pie!? JOY! "...Okay, apparently reality likes my pies a LOT! I wonder how I missed that when the other desserts were being delivered? I must have been really distracted with my Template projects I guess."

Grace blinked at the data still coming in. "...Well, the endless warfare has slowed down. Apparently existence is too busy converting Sun into more pies. Which means less zombies respawning, less Sun being collected, and slower instances of plant deployment."

Well, good! "Then I assume they appreciate my effort. And we should probably leave. Like now… I don't want to see what happens when reality goes on a sugar high."

His sister hummed. "Then maybe we should go over our options for the next Realm."

Hmm? "I thought we already decided that when we came up with these security module tests in the first place?"

Jessica ignored the amused looks on his girlfriend's faces. "In light of our new ability to solidify Magic into matrices and Templates, I thought it would be best to redirect the location of your next deployment towards WOULD you two please stop snickering!?"

Grace looked innocent while Temptation didn't hesitate to giggle. "Our Mistress wants you to try and get some scans of something Magical in the next Realm… And honestly thinks you can do it without something going crazy."

John blinked. "Really?" He turned to his sister. "I mean, REALLY though? I barely manage to avoid looking like a glitch in reality half the time, and even THEN I tend to either do something a bit too crazy or attract something beyond normal from the local area."

His sister waved that off. "Your security modules have been updated and now even further adjusted, I'm pretty sure it will be fine. And you don't have to do anything complicated when we get there, I just want you to Transfer close to something Magical, a target I've picked that is far away from EVERYONE and EVERYTHING, scan it, then run. Simple, safe, and easy!"

He considered that… And couldn't help but raise a point. "In THIS world I just wanted to ride a Zamboni and I accidentally upended zombie heaven. And got reality addicted to pie."

That set Temptation off again while Jessica's smile began to look a bit rigid as she carefully ignored his comment. "...The data we've gathered implies that this is some sort of dumping ground, or maybe a deposit box dimension or something like that. One that uses security through obscurity rather than Magical or Conceptual defenses, a hellscape of uncountable layers of existence, most of which are empty."

Oh dear. "The magical target is in hell. You want me to go from zombie heaven to some sort of banking hell, to break into their 'secure' 'impossible to locate' vault, and scan their stuff."

She didn't wince. "It's not a bank. It is a naturally forming recursive dimensional pocket that is apparently used by unknown individuals to store stuff. Several layers only contain random weapons or boxes, and none of them are accessed often… From what the scanners can detect, most haven't been accessed in over a century!"

John considered that… And couldn't help but feel suspicious. "What about the magical target? Has THAT location not been accessed 'in over a century'?"

Jessica winced. "...It was deposited recently."

…Alright. "HOW recently?"

Temptation cackled! "Eight hours ago! HA!"

Jessica snapped at the woman! "The Magical signature on this new thing is a THOUSAND TIMES more powerful than our previous target! And it will only take a few seconds for John to pop in, scan it, and bounce out! I'm sure it will be perfectly safe!"

Grace gave her a look that she refused to return, but John was ignoring that byplay. "Won't something like that be protected and watched though?"

Jessica pulled up data. "I mean, there is some sort of energy matrix obscuring that entire layer of the hidden caches from almost all detection, so I don't think so. Nothing we can detect, and I'm even pretty sure that if they TRIED to keep an eye on this thing that would actually ruin the whole point of trying to hide this thing. Like I said, they are relying HEAVILY on security through obscurity in this case."

John sighed. "And we can still see it because we are searching from outside reality, bypassing most of the logic and rules of that place before we even arrive."

She grinned! "Exactly! This will be quick, simple, and easy! You pop in, scan it, and pop out!"

Grace sighed while her demonic sister laughed, both ignored by Jessica as best she could.

John began tapping the table. "You REALLY want more Magic scans to work with, don't you sis?"

She slumped. "Yes."

…Fine. "I'll do it." Hold up! "BUT! But… I want it on record that I expect things to go a bit screwy when we try this, alright? I mean, fair enough: I've caused enough Chaos already so it's more than fair that my sister gets a chance to help stir up things a little… But on the record, I expect things to get complicated."

Jessica smiled… And sighed. "Yeah, I know. But all my data and scans SAY it should be a cakewalk…"

He shrugged. "Did the previous trips predict me becoming an old man dominating the world's financial empires or overturning zombie heaven as a multitude of sunflowers?"

She winced. "...No." But then she rallied herself with some confidence! "But I'm sure MY plan won't go silly like that! Your older sister does have some experience handling odd stuff, you know? Not like my little brother!"

Oh.

Oh really now?

John raised an eyebrow. "Well maybe you are right!"

HIs sister blinked. "I… I am?"

Yep! "In fact, I know you are right! This will be the trip that disproves the rule then! In fact, I'm sure it will go great!"

He ignored her growing horror as his grin grew. "I'm sure it will be a breeze! I'll just pop in and out, no one will notice, nothing will go wrong, and this unidentified Magical thing will just be something simple and uncomplicated, like a bag of magical socks or something!"

Jessica paled. "John, what are you doing?"

His grin was all teeth! "In fact… It should be beyond simple! A breeze! A traipse among the daisies!"

She reached for his shoulders. "John!?"

TOO LATE! "I'm sure NOTHING can go wrong!" HA ha ha ha!

Grace was face palming in the background, but Temptation was ALL THERE for this! "Hell yeah, master! Make Murphy your BITCH! Fuck fate!"

His sister slumped back into her chair, horrified… "Grace, we need to go over ALL the security modules. Again."

The angel didn't even hesitate. "I'll get the notes for the privacy and obscuration settings…"

She shook her head. "No. ALL the security modules, we need to go over all of them. And we need to review ALL the exit plans… No, scrap them, we should start over."

Ha! "Why, sis? After all, NOTHING silly can happen with YOUR plans, right?"

She GLARED at him! "I WILL noogie you."

Oops. "I uh… Right, Temptation! Let's go design some more Templates to leave with reality so Crazy Dave can eat something more than fragments of magical plants and pie. I'm sure he'll appreciate some fish or something, maybe a variety of seasonings and stuff…"

Nope, his sister was still glaring at him! Run away! "Talk to you later sis! Come along, my lovely demonic dear! We've foodstuffs to design!"

Damn it Temptation, stop giggling! You're making it hard to escape the room!

~~~Pocket System~~~

Giovanni Zatara was NOT amused. "This was all a distraction. A god damned waste of time!"

The bloody demon tried to mock him, but his bloody remains could barely be understood. "A… waste… of… time…" A gasp. "That… you… fell… for…"

He absently flicked his wrist. "[[Ecils.]]" The other survivor from this batch of demons was cut in half. "The fires. The bombings. The false leads… I've had to call in favors. Favors that I do NOT appreciate wasting… Just to end you all. WHY!? What was the POINT of all this!?"

The mostly mutilated demon just tried to cackle. "You… refused… my… master…" A death rattle. "But… you… shall… serve… regardless…"

Oh for… "WHICH 'master' did I refuse? I've destroyed and offended hundreds of so-called 'masters', a new one pops up every week!"

Hell, the only reason THESE half rate annoyances had lasted this long was because he wasted so much time trying to find out WHY they were doing this now! Was this another incursion attempt? A demonic summoning gone wrong? Some sort of alliance gathering resources for some common goal!?

The unruptured eye, seeming to gloat despite the pain, stared at him. "Master… will… call…" A horrific gurgling gasp for air. "And… you… shall… answer…"

Hmph. "Your unnamed 'master' shall be disappointed then, if he manages to live long enough to have any opinion. [[Nekaew dna elbeefne.]]"

Despite his worsening state, the thing gave another attempt at laughter. "Every… man… has… his… price…"

Oh please. "There is nothing your pathetic hack of a master could possibly offer me that would even remotely tempt me." Seriously, this whole weekend was just a complete waste of innocent life, time, and patience.

The harsh burn of self disappointment, at not responding to this pitiful threat before it could attack so many civilians… "I have fame, money, power… I'm pretty sure those are the standard temptations for trash like you and yours."

The creature gasped… "My… Master…"

Giovanni didn't even bother to take him seriously. "Don't even start with offering me beautiful women or any of that either, my wife wouldn't stop teasing me about that…" She'd thought the entire mess had been hilarious… "Or men. Don't offer me harems of women OR men, thank you very much…"

…Right, at this point he was just delaying things to ensure this bastard could feel as much pain as possible.

Focus. "Anything I wish I can earn myself, any deal your incompetent Master could bargain for is worthless in my eyes, any hold you delirious wastes believe you have over me is invalid. Now… WHY have you done all this!? What was the point!?"

A gasp. "To… bind… you… to… Master…"

Raw magical power BURNED in his Soul! "HOW would he bind me? [[Llet em eht HTURT!]]"

What was the damned POINT of all this madness!?

A gasp… "We've… taken…"

Oh, you don't get to die just yet. "[[Evivrus dna KEAPS!]]"

The eye almost dimmed completely… "Your… daughter…"

The shock was so sudden he failed to keep this monster from passing away.

…No.

~~~Pocket System~~~

In a Realm beyond complex, there were a multitude of domains and dimensions and planes.

Each with layers of timelines and forks and possibilities and potentials.

Finding a specific one, even with a map and helpful hints, was a work that required both patience and more than a little luck.

These locations were not static either, for they moved and shuffled and joined and split from one another. Not always within the same timeline or location, either.

Tracking a specific location, even if it was possible to find it, required resources and dedication and again, a substantial amount of luck.

Within one of these countless places, was an oddity.

A naturally forming recursive dimensional pocket. One that was apparently used by unknown individuals to store stuff.

There were endless places like this, even if it was an oddity it certainly wasn't an UNIQUE oddity.

But again: Searching for a single item within this unlocatable pocket in this unfindable domain cluster? Basically impossible. Nearly impossible for the ones who originally decided such a location would be useful, and normally this complicated data would be bound to a single item, a 'key', that could be used to access one area with accuracy and confidence.

Such was how storage rings and expanded bags and so forth worked in a Realm like this one.

This key was thus very important.

Even more so in this instance, as layers of Magical and Demonic seals and obfuscation had been encrusted over all the magical fields within the area. Redundant and sometimes conflicting or self reinforcing, everything from astral investigation to scrying was blocked and diverted and forbidden.

To an excessive degree, this area was locked down… OTHER keys, such as magical tethers and hidden spaces within hats or coats, suddenly became 'faulty' as the new defenses nearly disconnected them entirely from their two connected nodes.

In short: This space was impossible to find. Period.

Hidden away, inside this location, was a box.

Bound in chains forged from black bones. Adorned with crystalin skulls and blood sigils, and restricted with runes and glyphs. A massive metallic sculpture rested upon this small box, a gleaming demon with glowing red eyes… An unmoving weight enchanted to restrict the passage of time as much as possible, to ensure these defenses and the box within would have no chance to weaken or expose any possibility of detection.

Not by blood, nor magic searching for connections…

It forced this one place to be near frozen in time. Locked in stasis.

Unseen by fate and time and destiny.

Indeed, it would take a few WEEKS before these multitudes of defenses would even settle enough for the owning demonic Master to safely begin his horrific plans for the trapped child inside.

Very inconvenient, but needed to avoid powerful magical searchers.

They'd all be doomed to failure, as this prize was now HIS! His alone!

…On the other hand, it turns out that all this hard work at hiding said box made it look PRETTY damn magical indeed to certain sensors located outside of reality.

Who knew?