Zatanna was pacing near the front door. "It should just be a normal egg, right?"

She'd been doing so for a few minutes now, despite John saying he would be by later than this. "And he promised not to 'bling' the baby, whatever that means…"

The wait was, perhaps, starting to get to her. "So as long as he doesn't mess with it, then it should hatch into a perfectly healthy… Uh…"

She paused. "Shit, I forgot to ask what a Parvicursor Remotus was again! How did he distract me with all those strange food questions!? GAH!"

Should she go pester him with another note… No, he was going to come to dinner in like five minutes anyway. It would actually take her LONGER to run to her room, send off the note, and come back to meet him at the door even assuming he got the message and instantly answered her questions.

Damn it! "It's going to have tentacles or something, I just know it… Mom did use to say something like that… Or was that about old boyfriends? Not that John is… AGH!"

Her dad leaned in from down the hall. "Sweetie? Everything alright?"

UGH! "I'm FINE Daaaaad! Just… give me a minute, John is going to be showing up any second now."

Then her father made a very odd face for some reason. "...Am I going to have to give my shovel speech?" His hand flickered with power. "Because I've been practicing…"

Oh god no! "Don't you DARE embarrass me, Dad! John's just going to stop by for dinner, give me the egg so he doesn't end up eating it or changing it into a robot or something, then I'm going to show him some basic magic books from the library. That's it."

For some reason that didn't seem to calm her father down. "Alright then, just be careful which books…"

Sheesh. "I know, I know! No books that bleed, talk back, phase out of reality, or rend unprotected minds. I'm not five anymore, dad!"

And now, for some OTHER unknowable reason, he was cheerful again. "Oh perhaps not, but to me you'll always be our darling baby girl!"

Daaaaaad! "SHOO! Get out of here, PLEASE!"

The man reluctantly started to retreat. "Alright then, but if I hear someone needing a shovel'n…"

No. "MOM! DAD'S GONNA SHOVEL JOHN!"

Distantly she heard mom chuckle. "No shoveling our daughter's suitors until they've at least gone on two dates."

EEK! "MOM!"

[[Knock knock knock!]]

ACK! "Both of you GET! Shadowcrest, help me!"

And her home suddenly altered away the section of doorways her parents were teasing her from, a distinct sense of loving amusement radiating from the walls.

Thank goodness. "Thanks, I appreciate it."

The hallway felt just a touch more warm and inviting… Right, let's do this!

Almost subconsciously, she followed door opening procedures. Shadowcrest had no concerns, Zatanna could feel the intentions of the one on the other side (Mild hunger, tired satisfaction, protective instincts, etc), as well as the distinctive LACK of magic that she had ONLY seen in this one boy.

It had been so off putting initially that her mind gave up and IGNORED his absolute lack of magical presence entirely when John first saved her, simply due to the sheer impossibility of such a thing existing in the first place.

Magic was tied to life and the Soul, after all. NOT having it would be like a ham sandwich forgetting that it needed to affect gravity and include tangibility while existing.

.None of the 'detect weapons' routines went off, the ambient power levels were stable, no detected distress or coercion… Good, safe to open! "Hey John, I'm glad you were able… To…"

She stared at the cheerful man standing in the doorway. "Hey Zatanna! Thanks for inviting me to dinner!"

He was muscled. Tall. physically ripped. Had half white and black hair. Chiseled body. Glowing solid metallic eyes. Had she mentioned the physical fitness levels? "John?"

The massive man (With a bright pink backpack?) tilted his head down to look at her. "Yes?"

She stared up. "Why are you so…" Built like an olympic GOD! "...Tall?"

The man (Boy?) blinked, then lit up! "Oh, this? I'm better now!" He flexed his arm. "See, I had to splatter myself just a bit to force my Body to continue existing beside timelines to get you free from that box thing and all those tasty evil magic chains and stuff. I'm pretty sure I mentioned that I was fixing myself, back when I mentioned my broken spine and all that…"

She just stared at the man as he continued to ramble. "So, you uh… Aren't around my age?"

John paused. "I mean, probably not? I'm like, five days old and twenty two years old and a few hundred thousand years old even if that last bit was a little concurrently experienced as I built up my hive network of Soul copies, and I'm not sure HOW long I was going insane outside of existence before I managed to make myself be born that first time… Not to mention all the OTHER Bodies I made over my journey so far and in the future, since I sometimes mess up and have time travel issues and stuff…"

…Well, okay then. "Would you like to come inside?"

That was ALSO part of protocol. Ask if they wished to enter, but don't directly invite anyone to enter directly, don't gesture or imply that you are offering sanctuary informally.

Just basic precautions that had been drilled into her over the years… Which was good, because she was running on autopilot right now and routine was comforting.

He happily nodded and walked in without setting anything off (Although Shadowcrest seemed overly fascinated by the 'boy' for some reason), helping put her a little bit more at ease. "...So the backpack?"

John blinked. "Ah! Right, your new familiar!" He then opened the top of the pink backpack and…

She stared at it. "That is a MASSIVE egg."

To be fair, she'd been expecting something huge based on the notes earlier and…

John shrugged. "Honestly, compared to the other dinosaur eggs these were practically tiny."

She blanked. "What?"

He nodded cheerfully, examining with fascination the complex decorations of Shadowcrest's hallways. "Yeah, according to science and historical evidence, dinosaur eggs should only be as large as a soccer ball at most. Even for the largest creatures! But for some reason, the place where I found this little guy sort of throws out a bunch of rules, like basic physical limits and stuff."

John poked one of the decorations. "I saw eggs as large as buildings, which should have crushed themselves under their own weight, and I'm pretty sure there were a COUPLE of half magical dinosaurs that just sort of avoided me… Though I can't prove it. And I don't have enough samples of local Magic to properly scan for the things. Not accurately, anyway… SOMETHING magical was wandering about that place, at least!"

Zatanna absently accepted the backpack into her arms… Wow, this egg was heavy. "Huh."

John grinned! "I know, right? Now this little guy or gal is one of the smaller dudes around, a little bug hunting runner that sprints around on two adorable little legs and with tiny little arms, like a small velociraptor or something. So you need to remember to take it out for walks, or for runs more likely. These things seemed pretty speedy!"

She stared at the warmth that seemed… Happy to meet her? "How can something this big eat bugs?"

Her shockingly fit (now older) friend hummed happily. "Well, aside from other examples like whales that eat plankton and stuff, the bugs in that place are pretty damned massive. Speaking of which, I brought housewarming gifts!"

She watched John cheerfully pull out three impossible boxes out of NOWHERE like it was nothing. "This glowing one is full of Conceptually preserved food, my girlfriends helped with making side dishes and stuff and my sister and I Crafted all sorts of big delicious dino dishes… You'll need to use magic to get some of it out though, I have a roast in there that is literally the size of a bus and it is a HASSLE to move around…"

…Going to have to circle back to that 'girlfriends' comment earlier, but the impossibly glowing box seemed like a more important issue. It didn't FEEL like magic, but… "John…?"

Too busy showing off, John set the newest box to one side… And completely missed it vanishing from the room!? "Wait, what!?"

Now the man held up a second stone chest, this one seemed to be made out of some sort of blood slick rock. "This on the other hand is a Crafting Chest! Any materials you want to convert can be placed inside and transformed into raw dinosaur meat for more meals in the future. Tastes really good when you make hamburgers out of it too, let me tell you!"

Wait, WHAT!? "Hold on…" Nope, too late. This box ALSO vanished when John set it down! What was going on!?

Finally he held up a glass chest with a MASSIVE dead bug inside! "And this is a Crafting Chest JUST for your little eggy familiar! This way you can toss in wheat or trash or whatever you want to get rid of into this chest and pop out delicious dead insectoid snacks for your new friend!"

She glared at the idiot, which FINALLY caused John to pause. "...What's wrong?"

Zatanna pointed at the floor. "WHERE did the other two chests go!?"

He blinked. "Huh?" Then he stared at the empty bit of rug. "Oh. Well… That's not normal."

For the love of… "John, did you just infect my house with ghost boxes? Am I going to be haunted by glowing boxes full of delicious meals… And a bloody box of raw meat?"

…WHY was he actually considering her suggestion? "I uh… Don't think so? Let me test something."

Then before she could object, he placed the glass chest with a MASSIVE dead bug in it on the floor… And both of them watched it vanish like the other two.

What. The. Fuck. "I swear to god, John. If I wake up at two in the morning with dead bug cubes in my bed? I will kill you."

John on the other hand seemed fascinated! "They aren't gone… Nor are they out of phase with reality, or offset the timeline or… Oh. OH!"

The man turned to her with growing glee! "Zatanna, you didn't tell me that your house was a {{Home}}!"

…Wait, what? "I'm sorry?"

He began making other odd boxes and contraptions appear in his hands, adding them to the floor to vanish before she could stop him! "If I had known your {{Home}} was like MY [[Home]] I would have offered better housewarming gifts entirely! After all, the boxes and food and stuff were for the {{Home}} OWNERS, while THESE gifts are things my [[Home]] loves to share with all the versions of herself."

ARGH! "STOP DOING THINGS AND EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"

…No. Calm. Stay calm. "I'm sorry. Please. I mean, please explain what's going on."

John blinked. "Um… Alright?" He pointed up. "Your house is alive, and thought my gifts were for it. She accepted them. Now that I know she is more of a {{Home}} than a house, though, I've just given it a bunch of useful gadgets that my personal [[Home]] enjoys."

The boxes and odd objects had already been absorbed by her house... Really? "Shadowcrest?"

The walls shivered in… Was that a burp!? "Are you alright!?"

Her home felt… Embarrassed? Blushing? The lights in this hall did look a bit pinker…

What the hell, John. "Is my home going to be hurt by any of this?"

He shook his head. "Nah. Though she should be careful when using some of the material conversion and Crafting stations when it comes to Magical stuff. Like I said, I need more data before I can feel confident about working with materials without relying on Conceptual restrictions and the Essence of ideal matter."

Zatanna gave him a look.

John coughed. "Just… Use the Crafting Chests with non-magical stuff, and only make non-magical stuff, you know? Like it would be fine to Craft cups of coffee or hot chocolate, but not for using my tools to duplicate potions or rituals or whatever. At least, not until I can collect enough information to verify some stuff first."

Sigh. "Let's just… Come on, my parents are somewhere in this direction." Probably. Depends on where the house shifted them when she had been embarrassed… Uh, STRESSED, when Zatanna had been STRESSED earlier!

John was still overly cheerful. "Great! I'm hoping your mom will be willing to help me a bit before I leave. I might have caused a bit of a mess running away from the hospital."

Step, step, step… Wait. "What?"

He winced. "Yeah, turns out when you heal up a bunch of kids with all sorts of terminal issues it sets off ALL the equipment and turns on ALL the alarms and stuff. And then I sort of relied on this really nifty new trick where I ask reality to sneak me away somewhere without being tracked, and ended up in this massive apartment building that was on fire! But when I put THAT thing out and healed a few people this dude in a costume showed up and I think they thought I was some sort of water based super villain or something but when I ran away from THAT guy there was this whole cardboard box full of kittens and I had to take them to the nearest animal shelter, but it was actually a drug smuggling ring so after knocking them all out that just ended up me having to find ANOTHER animal shelter with even MORE animals and stuff, and…"

Zatanna walked with growing awe, horror, and confusion as John narrated the impossible things that may or may not have caused him to be marked as a world renowned super villain over the course of a few hours.

…Which was not her problem. "You know what? I'm sure my mom can help you with all that." Hopefully. "Want to help me come up with cool dino names for eggy here?"

John lit up with happiness! "Sure! What about Beep-beep or Beeper? Like the noise the road runner makes?"

Hell no. "I'll consider it."

Note to self: Do not let John name things.