The Search Is Over
Noah and Erin sat in stunned silence at Walter's revelation.
Noah pointed to Walter's device. "What do you call it?"
"The Window to Another Universe," Walter replied.
"It seems like the same thing as PARADOX from your time at Project Domino." Noah mused.
"It is based on the same technology, but my device is far superior to the military's early prototype that they insisted on giving a ridiculous acronym designation. This device," he pointed to The Window, "is mine, along with several improvements that I've made to both the hardware and software. I refuse to give it the same name that the military used."
"Okay, The Window it is."
After several moments of gathering his thoughts, Noah spoke again, "Walter, I think that device you're using is based on the same technology as an artifact in the archive room of Kinetic Transformation.
Walter absentmindedly rubbed his hand across the back of his neck, he didn't seem surprised by Noah's statement. "That would make sense, two of the scientists who also worked on the project where I developed it have since gone into the private sector, founded Kinetic Transformation, and no doubt took the technology, or some form of it, with them."
Noah drummed his fingers on the table in agitation. "After hearing the story of your time at Project Domino, I'm concerned at how far you've succeeded in developing this technology on your own. Have you considered the ramifications if someone at Kinetic Transformation ever noticed the project and started working on it with all of the resources of the company at their disposal? Or the fact that technology generally has advanced exponentially since you worked on it in 1994?"
Walter seemed unconcerned by Noah's questions. "I don't know how far they'll get. We hit a dead end. I'm no longer on the project. I haven't been in decades."
"You're right, no one is working on it currently, but it has just been dumb luck in the intervening decades that no one has noticed it, no one has tried again to view the Other Side, to cross to the Other Side. Who knows what someone new could come up with to push the technology forward? It's dangerous Walter. Once something like this is out in the world, it's out. No one, not even you can put the genie back in the bottle. Successfully crossing to the Other Side would change our world at such a fundamental level as to make it virtually unrecognizable." Noah needed to make sure that Walter saw that he was not the only mind capable of pushing research on the Other Side forward.
Walter considered Noah's words. Had he let his megalomania blind him to the possibility that someone else, someone with a lesser intellect, push the technology and understanding further than he could? And what would be the outcome of such a success? And what would whoever figured out how to travel to the Other Side do with that ability? He walked over to his whiteboard and started calculating the probabilities of someone else advancing his technology from Project Domino far enough to be a threat to our world or the Other Side. He was unnerved by what the numbers told him. When he worked at Project Domino, he had been a child. He hadn't considered anything beyond his intellectual curiosity. But now, with decades of experience behind him, he was beginning to see how short-sighted he and the US military had been.
Walter turned toward Noah again and Noah could see it in his eyes. Walter was beginning to understand the gravity of what was done seventy years before.
"Is-is there anything we can do?" Erin's voice shook a bit with fear. She didn't fully understand what the ramifications of Walter's story were, but given how nervous Noah and Walter were becoming, she was beginning to worry too.
"I can at least delay any progress made if anyone decides to start working on it again." Noah decided. He walked over to Walter at the whiteboard and together they began making a list of undetectable ways he could change the data on Kinetic Transformation's servers and backups and taint what was left of the drug components. "Even though I am the one who is tasked with evaluating projects to archive or develop, I won't be in that position forever, and it's not as if someone higher up in the company couldn't just decide to override my decisions. I need to do anything I can to make developing the technology as unattractive and difficult as possible. I can delay it, hopefully, but knowledge of the Other Side will come to light eventually and someone will try again to cross, with or without Walter's research. I just want to delay that moment for as long as possible. Humanity isn't ready for something this paradigm-shifting."
"I don't like this, Noah," Erin told him. "This sounds too dangerous!"
"More dangerous than an invasion of an alternate reality?"
"Which side is doing the invading?" Erin asked, not sure if she wanted the answer.
"Would it matter?" Noah asked her as he continued scribbling on the whiteboard.
Satisfied that Noah was making good progress at devising a plan to slow the technology's use for as long as they could, Walter returned to the table where Erin was still sitting. He took her shaking hand in his warm, steady one. "I'll never let anything happen to you or to him. You trust your genius Cousin Walter, don't you?"
Reluctantly Erin nodded and rested her head on his shoulder. Walter was surprised by the affectionate move and adjusted himself so she could sit more comfortably.
Once Noah finished his hurried scribbles, he joined them at the kitchen table once again. "I need to know, Walter, how does it work? How does The Window To Another Universe work?"
Walter stood and motioned for them to follow him. "Let's go upstairs to my loft and I'll show you. I also have the notes from my own modifications of the original we built that you can read." They followed Walter and Erin gasped as he unveiled The Window and she finally got the chance to really see what it was capable of. She watched in fascination while Walter and Noah discussed the technical aspects. Walter focused The Window on the street two blocks over. Erin saw the pedestrians from the Other Side walk by. She noticed the small differences: cars with slightly different silhouettes. Martin Luther King Jr. Boulevard was named A. Philip Randolph Street instead. Money was oddly reflective.
Walter walked Noah through the improvements he made when he built his own Window. "I can dial The Window to anywhere in the universe in space, though closer is easier to see more clearly. I can also dial The Window to any time in the past, but the further back into the past and the further from where I am in space I look, the more energy The Window requires."
"What about the future?" Noah asked.
"It's impossible to view the future as it is yet to be determined. Looking directly into the other universe at the same place and time is the easiest and most reliable."
"That makes sense." Noah nodded. "But why our universe? Why this particular other one?" He gestured to the scene playing out on The Window in front of them.
"We were never able to find any answers to that question during my time at Project Domino. I don't even know how the two universes became entangled. Perhaps they were joined by a single event that affected both sides, or more likely it was just a random occurrence, in a universe as vast and unknown as ours, most anything can happen. No matter how unlikely."
"Did you ever find evidence of a third or more universes as well?" Noah was intrigued by the possibilities of the multiverse.
Walter shook his head, "We hypothesized that other universes could become entangled as well, but more than two would be so rare that the chances of that occurring are effectively zero. We never saw any evidence of a third universe. The most logical conclusion is that there's only one other universe connected to ours."
"Well, there's that, at least." Noah laughed in relief.
Erin had been sitting quietly listening to the two men's conversation with half of her attention, the other half on the screen before her, when the question that they should have asked from the very moment that they realized the gravity of what Walter had told them occurred to her. She turned quickly toward Walter. Surprised, Walter's gaze flew up to meet hers. "Why, Cousin Walter? Why, after every terrible thing that you told us they did to you… to the others… why did you build another one? Why did you continue this research? What could have been so important to you to risk so much?"
Walter sighed, he knew this moment was coming. He just wished it had taken longer for it to get here. "The pair of you have already deduced that Scorpion was part of the failed rescue attempts to save those planes trying to land at LAX that day." Erin and Noah nodded. "I never have and never will speak of that day. The weight of the loss of those lives is my burden to carry alone for the rest of my life. But one thing that happened that day gave me hope, gave me purpose… and it was for that reason that I built my own Window and continued the research long after a wiser man would have stopped."
"What happened, Cousin Walter? What happened that day?" Erin had to know.
"At the end of that horrifying day, I went to bed to attempt to sleep, certain I wouldn't be able to and if I did, I would be plagued by nightmares. But I didn't, instead something completely unexpected happened. I fell asleep and dreamed the most wonderful dream imaginable. I dreamed all night of the most beautiful, kind, and amazing woman. A woman who loved me. We spent that night together in my dreams."
"That's lovely, Cousin Walter."
"I suppose so, but that still doesn't answer Erin's question."
"The reason I built The Window is that after that first night, after that first dream of her, I dreamed of her every night. It was the exact same dream each night as if I were reliving that first night over and over again. I searched in vain for years to find her. I never could. I thought it might be the end of me, that I couldn't find her. Until it occurred to me many years and fruitless searches later, that she might be an inhabitant of the Other Side. I built The Window, at great risk to myself and the universe, to search for her."
Months passed slowly for Walter, but all too quickly for Erin and Noah. Walter had become obsessed with looking for her once again. He spent every waking hour at The Window searching. He was no longer working, sleeping only when he dropped with exhaustion, and eating only when Erin forced him to. Erin was missing shifts at the diner, trying to care for Walter, and Noah was spending as much time as he could at Kinetic Transformation, corrupting the data pointing to the Other Side and the soft spots without leaving traces behind or raising any alarms. It was a dangerous tightrope he was walking, but one he believed was necessary for the very existence of his world and everything he loved, including Erin and Walter.
It was a typical morning at the Garage. Erin woke and started coffee to brew. She found Walter at his desk in the loft, his head on the desk, half asleep as he scrolled through possibilities to find her.
"Cousin Walter," Erin spoke slightly louder than necessary and with a sharpness to her tone she never thought she would use with him. "Breakfast. Come to the kitchen, now."
Walter startled and raised his head slowly, his eyes having difficulty focusing on her face. "No. I don't have time. I need to find her."
"Like hell, you don't. You don't do anything except look for her. You don't eat, you don't sleep. And when was the last time you took a shower?" Erin wrinkled her nose.
"I showered on Tuesday, the 24th. I remember it distinctly. It was just a few days ago. You are getting upset over such a little thing. I'm surprised at you."
"Three weeks ago? You haven't bathed in more than three weeks? This is unacceptable!"
"The 24th was just-"
"Three weeks ago. Cousin Walter, I can't take this anymore!"
"Fine, fine," he switched off the display to The Window, "I'll take a damn shower if it will get you to stop harping on me." Walter stood slowly and immediately sat down again as dizziness overtook him.
Erin rushed to his side, all her anger gone. "What's wrong?"
Walter tried to push her away, but he didn't have the strength to do that. "Just stood up too fast is all."
"Too fast? It took you almost a minute to stand. Sure I don't like this, I don't like this one bit. Here, let me help you."
Walter tried to wave her off, but Erin was determined, and he knew that he did need the help. Erin helped Walter to stand, and then gain his balance. "I can feel your ribs through your shirt." She pulled up the front of his shirt to reveal his belt, pulled tight to the smallest hole. "How much weight have you lost now?" A more critical examination revealed that his clothes were simply hanging on him.
"Only 15 or 20 pounds." Walter tried to laugh as if he had made a joke but failed when the only sound that escaped his lips was a wheezing cough. Out of breath and shaking, Erin carefully helped Walter sit down in his chair once again.
"That's it, I'm calling out for my shift at the diner. I'm taking you to the doctor. You need to take care of yourself, Cousin Walter, or I will lose you and I'm not willing to do that. Do you hear me?"
"Why? He won't be able to help me. I need to find her. I need to find her before it's too late!"
"What the hell does that mean?" Erin demanded.
Walter hung his head. "Nothing, I didn't mean anything by it, just a slip of the tongue."
Erin eyed him suspiciously. 'Sorry, I don't believe you, Cousin Walter. We are going to the doctor just as soon as I can get an appointment for you. You are going to listen to him and do exactly as he instructs."
Walter nodded his head, knowing he had absolutely no intention of doing anything but what he was doing, trying to find her.
Erin's persistence paid off, she refused to take no for an answer from the front office of Walter's regular general practitioner. "We have an appointment to see Dr. Friedman this afternoon. I am calling Noah to come over and help you get ready, if necessary. You need a shower, a shave, and something to eat. Now can you do that on your own or do I need to bathe you like a child?"
Walter's pride prickled and he informed Erin that he certainly could take care of himself, he wasn't an invalid. Erin watched critically as Walter wobbled his way from the chair to the bathroom. "Fine," she called after him, "but I am going help you walk down to the main level, the last thing you need is a tumble down a flight of stairs."
Walter merely grunted in reply. He needed all of his energy simply to keep moving.
Erin called Noah to drive them to the doctor's office. She wasn't sure she was strong enough to walk Walter from the parking lot to the waiting room on her own. Watching him get ready earlier, had made her realize that she hadn't been paying close enough attention to her cousin. She had been so focused on Noah and their burgeoning relationship, that she had ignored Walter at his peril.
Dr. Friedman blanched visibly when he walked into the exam room where Walter and Erin were waiting. "Mr. O'Brien, normally I would ask a patient what brought them in today. But I don't think I'm going to ask that." He turned his gaze to Erin. "I assume you are his cousin who unleashed her wrath on my office staff earlier today. I would be angry with you, but seeing Walter, I think you may have done exactly the right thing."
Dr. Friedman did a quick, but thorough physical exam of Walter. "Mr. O'Brien, you are showing signs of severe sleep deprivation, as well as being dehydrated and seriously underweight. Your chronic cough is concerning as well, but if you do not listen to your cousin here and start eating regular meals, drinking at least some water, and sleeping at least six hours a night, your cough and the jaundice I noticed a few minutes ago are going to be the least of your concerns.
"I would like to admit you to the hospital for 48 hours, get you some sleep and fluids, along with a feeding tube. We need to get you rested and nourished quickly."
"No," Walter said quickly. "I won't do that."
"Please, Cousin Walter, please. I need you. I need you to be well. I need you to take care of yourself, to be healthy!"
Erin's pleas fell on deaf ears. "No."
Dr. Friedman looked at Erin pityingly, then turned his attention back to Walter. "Your cousin, who performed no small feat to get you here today, is pleading with you to take care of yourself, if not for yourself, then for her, and it makes no difference to you?" The doctor asked, puzzled.
"I do know that you worry about me, Erin, and that means more to me than you know, but I can't do that. I can't do anything differently from what I have been doing. I can't make any of the changes you are asking for."
"Just to be clear, Mr. O'Brien, are you refusing medical treatment?"
"Yes," Walter replied. Erin turned away so Walter wouldn't see the tears gathering in her eyes and texted Noah, who was waiting for them in front of the doctor's office, telling him what was happening.
Dr. Friedman sighed sadly, "All right then, I think we're done here. It's only a matter of time, Mr. O'Brien." The doctor turned to go when Walter's next words stopped him.
"I know. That's why I'm doing this." The doctor had no idea what Walter's words meant, but Erin understood all too well. Erin shared a look with the doctor. They both knew it wouldn't be too long before it wouldn't matter.
Erin sighed in defeat as the doctor departed. "Come on, then Cousin Walter, let's go home."
"It's only been a few days since we saw the doctor, and he is going downhill even faster than before. He's weaker, but, if it's even possible, he's more determined than ever to find her." Erin cried on Noah's shoulder.
He tried to extricate himself from her so he could leave for work. "I know, my love, I know. But there's nothing you or I can do. Walter is a grown man, a genius, who for better or worse, gets to make his own decisions. You can hate it all you want. I know I do. But all you can do at this point is make sure he knows you love him and take care of him as best he will let you." Noah kissed her cheek. "I have to go to work, these next few days of hiding the Other Side are crucial. I'm almost done. I need to finish and then get the hell away from Kinetic Transformation."
Erin nodded her understanding as her tears slowly subsided and then reluctantly pulled away.
"Do you have work today?" Noah asked her.
"No, the diner fired me last week for missing too many shifts. But I don't even care at this point. I have more important things to take care of."
Noah was unsurprised by this development. He knew how often she had missed work to care for Walter, although he was surprised that she didn't tell him sooner.
Erin could read the dismay on his face, "I know, I should have said something, but even though I don't care that I was fired from the diner, at the same time I do care a lot, if you know what I mean." Erin covered her face with her hands and sniffled, "It's embarrassing."
Noah kissed her once more and pulled on his lab coat. "You can tell me anything, love, no matter how embarrassing."
"I know, I really do. Now get going. It won't do for you to be late." She blew him a kiss as he walked out the door to his car.
Erin turned her attention to Walter once again. Wiping away the tears that still stained her cheeks, she considered making him a breakfast that he wouldn't eat but decided that she had no interest in fighting with him this morning. She just wanted to spend time with him. Spend whatever time she could with this man who had become something so much more than she ever could have imagined when she concocted her hare-brained plan in her father's house in Callan. This man who had somehow become a father, a brother, a best friend, a champion, in spite of his best efforts not to. Erin wiped away a final tear before she picked up her coffee and walked up the stairs to Walter's loft to spend time with him while he did what he loved doing, searching for the woman from his dream.
Walter could no longer sit in a chair at his desk, he was too weak to be upright for that long. Instead, he lay in his bed, propped up by pillows, carefully arranged each day by Erin. His arm reaching to The Window's controls where it sat on a stand that Noah built expressly for this purpose.
It took every ounce of strength he had to keep his arm extended and manipulate the controls, but he was determined to continue his search. He barely acknowledged Erin's presence when she entered.
"Good morning, Cousin Walter. Can I get you anything this morning?"
"No," Walter replied gruffly. Erin's face fell just for a moment, and Walter saw it. "I'm sorry, Erin. I know you're only trying to be kind. But no thank you. I don't need anything."
Erin nodded, this was exactly the answer she was expecting. She sat down on the floor, her back resting against the side of Walter's bed, knees drawn up to her chest. She sipped her coffee contemplatively as she watched the images rush past as Walter dialed The Window's controls into a new bit of the alternate universe. Her mind wandered a bit as Walter's remained focused on his goal. Erin remembered several months earlier when she and Walter would have long conversations. Okay, it really was mostly me talking, but he had listened, at least sometimes. She longed so much sometimes to go back to those days that it hurt.
Erin always had a million thoughts running through her head. Thoughts that always made more sense when she spoke them aloud. Thoughts that had been bottled up for weeks as Walter went further and further down the rabbit hole looking for the woman. She didn't even consciously choose to let them flow, but memories of the times she had spent with Walter before everything fell apart must have triggered something, and she just started talking to Walter like she used to. She just let the words tumble out of her mouth like they did when Walter was just her friend before she was his caretaker. "Can you imagine if I had never met Noah?" Walter grunted in acknowledgment of her words. Erin took that as a good sign and continued, "I mean what if he had gone to that early seminar on solar flares instead of stopping at the diner for breakfast? It wasn't even anywhere he intended to go, it was just on the way to the convention hall. It was totally out of his routine. It was all just random chance."
Walter's fingers stopped manipulating The Window's control panel. "What-what did you say?"
Erin startled and her eyes flew up to meet Walter's. There was a brightness, an aliveness in them that she hadn't seen in so long, she couldn't remember the last time. "I said, 'It was all just random chance'?"
Walter laughed and struggled to sit up. Erin put her coffee cup down and hurried to help him. "What is it, Cousin Walter? What did I say? What did you hear?"
"It was random chance. I didn't go to the diner that morning when I broke up with my girlfriend. We were stuck here at the Garage with those flat tires. What if I had gone to the diner? Would she have been there?" He grabbed a small lap-sized whiteboard from the table on the other side of his bed and opened a dry-erase marker. He scribbled what looked like complete gibberish to Erin. Once done, Walter set the board aside and smiled up at Erin. A smile that beamed brighter than any expression she had ever seen on Walter's face before.
"Cousin Walter, what is it? What have you learned?"
"It has been staring me in the face for more than fifty years and I never saw it. I wouldn't have seen it without you, Erin." He paused, gathering his strength to continue. "That was the choice I made to take one path and not another, the reason I never met her on our side. There is likely a soft spot between the two realities there, at the diner. I never went to the diner like I had planned to that day. There's a reason that's why that night was the first night I saw her in my dreams. She was there. She was there all along!"
Erin shook her head, confused. "What are you saying?"
"My path for that day, the day the planes fell out of the sky was different than the one I had originally planned. I missed my chance to find her in our world all those years ago. That was where the two realities diverged. That day was the key. In all these years, I have never looked for her in that place on that day, even though that was the first night she appeared. I have never looked for her anywhere on that day."
"But you will now?" Erin asked as she helped Walter gain easier access to The Window by moving it from its stand onto the bed with him. She sat on the bed holding the device securely as Walter ran his fingers over the controls with experienced precision. With shaking hands, he set The Window to look into the other universe into the diner on that fateful day. September 22, 2014, Nemos' diner.
Walter's entire face lit up as the images on the screen resolved into recognizable figures. It was a very long way into the past, further back than he had ever looked. The Window was drawing a lot of power and the figures weren't very clear, but it was clear enough. "There she is…" Walter whispered. Tears streamed down his face as he watched her movements. Erin carefully set the device on a pile of pillows on Walter's bed within his reach.
Erin knew that she didn't even exist for Walter right now. And that was all right with her. He had waited far too long, endured far too much for this moment. She slipped quietly out of his bedroom and stood just on the other side of the partition, giving him privacy, but staying nearby in case he needed her. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and texted Noah. "He's done it, he's found her."
Author's Notes:
It does seem unlikely that it takes Walter O'Brien, a genius of massive proportions, more than fifty years to connect the dots and realize that he missed Paige that day. But I think the Pilot episode shows that that's one of the reasons the team needed Paige. Sometimes Walter would look at a problem with tunnel vision and he needed help to get out of his own way. So of course he would need to wait until Erin could help him do what he couldn't manage to do himself.
I am asking you, dear reader, to really suspend that disbelief and lean into the possibility that a low-level employee can corrupt data without anyone figuring out it's happening or who is doing it. I know it's improbable, but this is fiction, so come along for the ride anyway!