All is Lost Again (But I'm Not Giving In)
Summary: Not long after a night out with Eddie and Christopher ends on an unusual note, Buck soon finds himself questioning reality as weird things begin to happen to him.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters associated with 9-1-1
Author Notes: So this is my first (published) adventure into the 9-1-1 fandom. I'm extremely rusty when it comes writing so I'm still trying to get my groove back. This is also a bit of a slow burn story since the main "plot" doesn't really hit until the third chapter. Please, bear with me... I promise I'll try to make it all worth it!
Set after Season 6 but started BEFORE Season 7, so do with that information as you please.
CHAPTER 2
"Hey! Earth to Buckley!"
Chimney called out to where Buck was sitting on one of the couches in the firehouse's loft, staring blankly at the tv screen that wasn't even on. So lost in the fog of his mind, replaying last night's events in his head, Buck was completely unaware of the voice trying to pull him back to reality. Chim glanced across the table at Hen, who looked up from the binder in front of her and just shrugged her shoulders as her eyebrows knitted together in confusion.
"It's unnatural, him being this quiet!" Chim let out an exasperated sigh as he reached over and helped himself to Hen's binder.
"Uh, excuse you!"
"Yeah, yeah." Completely disregarding her objections, Chim flipped to the back of the binder to a blank sheet of paper and ripped it away from the rings. Balling it as tightly as possible, he launched the ball into the back of Buck's head. The impact seemingly enough to finally pull the man from wherever his mind was.
"Huh?" The impact against his skull roused Buck back to the present but he was still highly unaware of his surroundings. The lack of clarity wasn't lost on Hen, concern starting to weave its way into her expression.
"You okay, Buckaroo?" Hen asked as she got up from her chair and slowly made her way to Buck's side, placing her hand on his shoulder.
"I'm worried about Eddie." Buck replied, as he continued to just stare blankly into nothing.
"Why? Did you two have a fight?" They both turned towards Chimney simultaneously, Hen giving him a stern glare while Buck just looked on slightly baffled.
"Wh-what? No, no. Nothing like that. I mean, I-I don't think so anyway."
"Buck, take a breath." Hen tried to calm him down. "Why don't you fill us in?"
"Right." Buck closed his eyes for a moment and inhaled deeply, taking a second to calm his mind. "We went out to dinner last night, the three of us, that is. Christopher worked his ass off for his school project and I really wanted to make him feel special, ya know. So dinner was on me."
"Wait, where'd ya end up going?" Chim interrupted, but Buck couldn't tell if he was doing it to be annoying or if he was genuinely curious.
"Uh, Mel's Diner. The one on Sunset…"
"How was the food?"
"Dude, why does it matter?" Buck made no effort to hide how annoyed he was by the interrogation.
"Maybe I'm looking for new places to go." Chim started. "Or maybe I'm just a little hurt that I wasn't invited. I love a good diner, who doesn't?"
"Seriously, Chim?" Hen just glared, basically warning her partner to tread carefully. A warning he apparently understood as he held his hands up in defeat. Rolling her eyes, Hen sat on the table in front of the couch and returned her attention to Buck. "So what happened at dinner?"
"That's just it, I don't know." Buck's voice cracked as his emotions started to flare slightly. "Everything was going great all night. Right up until the end. There was this guy that said something to Eddie when he left the table and after that he was acting weird, like he was really spooked. I don't think I've ever seen him like that before."
"Did Eddie say who this guy was?" Hen asked softly, taking in everything Buck was telling her.
"He said he didn't know but it felt like he was hiding something, and when I tried to bring it up again, he just shut me out. I was ready to drop he matter then and there but before I left last night he uh, h-he asked me to stay with him."
"Ughhhh, can't you two just figure yourselves out already?!"
"What do you mean?" Buck asked clearly very confused.
"CHIMNEY!" Hen's eyes bulged behind her glasses as she hissed at her partner.
"What?!" Chim tried to defend himself. "It's not like we're the only ones thinking it. And besides, those two having a sleepover isn't anything out of the ordinary. They do it all the time!"
Hen sighed and nodded her head.
"I hate to say it Buck but Chim's right on that last part. You do spend more time at Eddie's than you do your own apartment that you may just as well be living there."
"You don't get it Hen, this was different." Buck rubbed the heel of his palm against his forehead with enough pressure he was sure it was going to leave a mark. "It's not like other times when we hang out, it was almost like he was scared for me to leave."
"So what did you do?"
"I uh, may have panicked slightly and went back to my place." Buck answered sheepishly as he looked into Hen's eyes, his cheeks turning a slight shade of pink from embarrassment.
"Evan Buckley! What is wrong with you?!"
"OW! Hey stop!" Buck did his best to protect himself from the onslaught of Hen smacking him wherever her hand could land past his defensive posture. "What was that for?!"
"You know damn well what!" The look Hen gave him from over the rim of her glasses sent a shiver down Buck's spine. "Now you need to get your act together and talk to Eddie..."
"Talk to Eddie about what?"
Hen turned around as Buck lowered his arms away from his face and both stared as Eddie was standing a few feet away from them, having managed to make it up the stairs without either of them noticing. Judging by the smirk on his face, he had been present long enough to witness the attack on Buck.
"Edmundo! What a surprise! We were just talking about you." Hen chuckled nervously, like a child who had just been caught with their hand in the cookie jar.
"Yeah, I kinda figured that part out." Eddie took a sip from the cup in his hand. "Anyone wanna fill me in?"
"Well you see, Buck was needing some advice and… Oh will you look at the time." Conveniently glancing at her watch, Hen stood and started walking towards the table where Chimney was seated, a mischievous grin on his face as he watched the unfolding drama. "I forgot a couple of things that need to be done before things get crazy around here. Come on Chim."
"Wait, why do I have leav.." Before Chim could finish his sentence, Hen grabbed him by the collar, practically pulling him from his chair and dragging him towards the other staircase leading back down into the bay. "Okay, okay take it easy will ya?!"
Buck just groaned and sunk his head into his hands, leaning as far back into the couch cushions as he could while wishing he could just teleport away from the awkward situation Hen had so kindly abandoned him in.
"Soooo, wanna tell me what that was all about?" Eddie asked as he moved to sit on the adjoining couch next to Buck, placing his cup down on the table in front of him.
"Look, Eddie, I'm sorry you walked in on that. It's just…" Buck trailed off as he looked up to face Eddie, instantly taking note of the dark circles under his eyes. "You look horrible."
"Thanks, Buck. I really appreciate that!" Eddie laughed as rubbed his eyes.
"No, I-I didn't mean it like that. I just meant you look exhausted." Adjusting himself on the couch so he could lean closer to Eddie, Buck tried to once again figure out what Eddie refused to say to him. "I thought you were gonna get some sleep?"
"Yeah. that was easier said than done after you left." Sighing as he let his head fall back against the couch, Eddie just stared blankly at the ceiling above him.
"C'mon Eddie, talk to me. Please." Buck begged his best friend to let him in. "What's really going on?"
"There's nothing going on, Buck!" Eddie jerked his head back up to stare at Buck, taking himself by surprise with how he snapped. His expression softened and he lowered his voice, unsure if his sudden outburst was going to bring any unwanted attention. "I'm sorry."
"Yeah, I am too. Because I know you're lying to me and I just don't know why." Buck couldn't hide the hurt in his eyes and felt the sting of tears trying to fight their way through. Not able to take any more, he stood to walk away but was stopped by Eddie reaching out and grabbing his arm.
"Buck, wait. You're right. You're right." Eddie sighed, defeated. "And I really am sorry. I just…"
"Am I interrupting something?"
Bobby's voice took both men by surprise as they turned to see their captain standing at the top of the stairs, completely unaware that he had even ascended to the loft.
"Uh, you guys okay?" He asked, taken aback by the scene in front of him and the bewildered expressions on the two younger firefighters.
Eddie released his grip on Buck's forearm, rising to stand next to him.
"We, uh.. we're just working something out. That's all." Eddie managed to say after his brain finally found the correct words.
"Uh, yeah." Buck sniffed, quickly rubbing a hand over his eyes. "We're good."
"Okay." Bobby said, eyes darting back and forth between the two, not really convinced. "Sorry to intrude. I'll let you get back to... whatever it is you need to discuss."
Abandoning whatever reason he had for coming up to the loft, Bobby gave them one last look with a reassuring smile before turning around and returning to the bay below.
The silence between the two was almost deafening as they both stood there, neither knowing who should be the first to speak. After a moment Eddie turned to face Buck, taking a deep breath to gather his thoughts.
"Buck I…" Before Eddie could even attempt to try and explain, the sound of the alarm began to blare throughout the station. He rolled his eyes at the cruel joke the universe seemed to be playing on him and let out a frustrated sigh. "You have got to be kidding me!"
"Buckley! Diaz! Let's move!" Bobby's voice rang out from below as the team scrambled to their gear.
Before Buck could move away, Eddie placed both of his hands on Buck's shoulders.
"Hey. I promise I will do my best to explain this to you. After this call."
Buck met Eddie's eyes and he could see the sincerity behind them. He nodded as he placed a hand on one of Eddie's.
"Okay." He said. "Let's go."
Buck stared out of the window from his usual seat in the fire engine as it roared down the streets of Los Angeles. Despite the promise for answers, there was an awkward silence between him and Eddie as the two sat next to each other. The lack of their typical banter did not go unnoticed by Ravi as he watched them both very intently.
"Are you two fighting? Please tell me you aren't fighting."
"We're not fighting, Ravi." Buck replied unconvincingly, not even turning away from the window.
"Are you sure? Because it kinda feels like you are." Ravi began again. "And even if you are, and I know it's totally none of my business but…"
"Panikarr." Bobby's tone from the captain's seat quickly ended his ramblings as Ravi looked to Bobby and saw him shaking his head.
"Sorry."
"What're we dealing with, Cap?" Eddie asked, breaking the tension.
"Structure fire at a partially converted warehouse." Bobby informed them.
"Converted to what, exactly?" Buck asked, finally taking his gaze away from the window.
"According to dispatch, part of the interior is for office space." Bobby started again. "Apparently the renovations didn't go so well. 133 is already on scene, but the fire is spreading and extra containment and medical personnel are needed for backup."
"Copy that, Cap." Came the unanimous response from the cab.
It only took a few more minutes before the black billowing smoke came into view as the engine continued its way to their destination. The truck wasn't even at a full stop before the crew inside began opening the doors and making their way out to grab their gear, just as Hen and Chim exited the ambulance and joined with Bobby and the others.
"Captain Nash!" a voice called out through the chaos. Bobby looked over to the source and quickly made his way over.
"Captain Mehta." He extended his hand out for a quick handshake before the two began walking side by side. "Where do you want us?"
"Our priority is containment before the blaze can spread any farther. We're also dealing with quite a few injuries, mostly smoke inhalation but also a few more severe. My guys could use the help there as well."
"Alright: Hen, Chim, grab your gear and start assessing those who are injured. The rest of us will grab the hoses and see if we can start making a dent with these flames."
"On it, Cap," Hen and Chim said in unison as they moved to grab what they needed from the ambulance. As the rest of the 118 made their way to the engine, Bobby hesitated for a moment.
"Buck, Eddie. A word?"
They both glanced at each other before momentarily before breaking off from the rest of the team.
"What's up, Cap?" Eddie asked slightly confused.
"Look, I don't know if you guys settled whatever it was I walked into earlier, but I need to know if you're okay to be out here together."
"Bobby, we're good." Buck said, as he glanced at Eddie. "We've got a job to do and we're gonna get it done. Eddie has my back, and I've got his."
"Always." Eddie nodded in agreement.
"Alright." Bobby said as he looked between the two. He knew them both well enough that what Buck had said was true. They may bump heads every so often but when it came down to getting a job done, there was denying they were able to push through whatever rough patch they were facing and come out the other side stronger than ever. "Get to it then."
Eddie gave Buck a quick pat on the shoulder as they both ran to grab their remaining gear from the engine before joining Ravi on one of the hose lines to begin trying to douse the fire engulfing the building.
At first it didn't seem like the two teams had a chance but slowly their efforts began to yield results. As the trio began to inch closer to the blaze, Buck became aware of a commotion from behind them as Bobby's voice once again began to fill the air.
"Sir! Sir, you need to stay back and let our guys do their jobs!"
Buck turned to see Bobby holding back a man wearing a construction vest, a tormented look painted across his face as he struggled with Bobby and another firefighter.
"You don't understand! I've still got a couple guys in there!"
"Sir! You need to understand, we can't just let you back in there. It's too dangerous."
"Nash, what's going on?" Amidst the commotion, Captain Mehta made his way back over to the group, eager to find out what was going on. Before Bobby could try and explain, the man in the vest spoke up first.
"I did a head count of my employees and we're still missing two. I can only guess they're in the new office spaces that we were working on. If you won't let me go back in, can you at least send them?" The man gestured in the direction of Buck, Eddie and Ravi.
Under normal circumstances, Buck would've found it a bit unusual to be singled out that way, but given how frantic the man seemed to be he figured it was just because they were the closest to him.
The two captains glanced at each other before Bobby returned his gaze to the foreman as Mehta spoke again.
"We've got the fire handled, think you can spare your guys for this?"
Bobby nodded while keeping his eyes locked on the other man.
"Buck, Eddie, Ravi! You're on recovery detail." Bobby shouted over his shoulder. "Where were your guys at?"
"Last I heard they were working in the back corner offices."
"Alright guys, you heard him." Bobby turned to the trio as they prepared to make their way inside. "Get in, find the workers and get out. If things get to intense in there, get your asses out ASAP!"
"On it cap!" Buck said through his oxygen mask before they quickly made their way through the open garage door leading into the warehouse.
Despite the valiant effort of battling the flames from the outside, the inferno inside of the building was still raging on. The intense heat from the flames quickly penetrated the protective layer provided by the turnout. With extinguishers in hand to help clear a path, Buck navigated the small group through the burning aisles of the warehouse, making their way to the entrance of the office complex. Thankfully the doorway was mostly clear, except for a few pieces of burning debris that draped over the doorframe.
"118 report your status." Bobby's voice cracked through the radio just before they crossed the threshold into the offices.
"This is Diaz. We've made it to the office structure, Cap." Eddie replied as Buck and Ravi finished clearing their way inside. "Moving in now."
"Copy that, but keep it moving gentleman. I don't want you in there any longer than necessary."
As they made their way inside, they found themselves in a long corridor with more doors than anticipated. Each wall had at least eight doors on either side, making the search and rescue mission just a bit more complicated.
"Alright, let's split up!" Buck yelled over the sound of the flames as he made his way halfway down the hallway. He began to pound furiously on the doors in hopes that whoever they were looking for would be able to hear them to call out. "LAFD! If you can hear us, make some noise!"
As they checked each room for survivors, it seemed like there was no one to be found. Nearing the end of the hallway, Buck turned back to Eddie and Ravi to check on their progress.
"Have you found anyone yet?" He yelled as he opened the next door near him.
"Negative!" Eddie answered, Ravi quickly following suit.
"No one yet! Are we sure they're still in here?"
As the flames grew closer and more intense, Buck began to think the same thing. Perhaps the individuals they were looking for had managed to escape the blaze. Still, he wasn't about to stop looking until all the rooms had been searched. He only had two more rooms to check before they could make their way back outside.
The first of the last two rooms Buck needed to check was completely bare, no sight of anything or anyone inside.
One more to go. He thought to himself. As he opened the door to the last room on the right side of the hallway, he couldn't help but notice how much larger that room was compared to the others and that the flames seemed like they were completely avoiding this room, however it was still full of smoke.
"LAFD is there anyone in here?" He once again yelled out. As he glanced around he could see no sign of anyone in the room, or anywhere else in the offices for that matter. He reached for his radio as he walked back towards the entrance.
"This is Buckley." He paused for a moment as a piece of burning ceiling tile fell in front of him. "We have completed the sweep and haven't found anyone. If they were here, they must've managed to get out."
"…py th… Pr…ed.. to…." As the reply attempted to come through, the radio let out a burst a static, combined with a high pitch shrill, completely drowning out whatever was being relayed to him.
What the hell was that? Buck wondered.
"This is Buckley, please say again."
"Firefighter Buckley, this is dispatch." The call came through crystal clear this time, no interference or whatever it was that happened before. "We had a caller from your location, victim is trapped in a storage closet in the conference room. According to their description before we lost contact it should be the last room on the right side of the hallway."
"Copy that dispatch!" Buck quickly made his way back to the hallway to update Eddie and Ravi but he didn't see them immediately. He assumed they were still checking rooms themselves and decided to call out to them. "Guys in here! I'm going back in!"
As he made his way through the smoke filled room, Buck thought he saw movement out of the corner of his eye. He slowed and turned slightly, trying to see what it was. Perhaps it was Eddie and Ravi coming to join him, but as he turned he didn't see anyone else. He started walking again in hopes of finding the storage closet but before he could get much further, he felt a pain in the back of his neck before the world around him went dark.
A/N: The Diner in the first chapter and mentioned again at the beginning of this one is a real place! If you wanna see what it looks like, head over to google maps and use this address: 8585 W Sunset Blvd, West Hollywood CA 90069