They really did it. They really kicked him out. Lincoln Loud was now in the backyard of his house, laying cold and damp underneath the porch. His family believes that he's bad luck all because of a lost softball game. He couldn't even get a decent meal without anybody in the family stepping away. His food was put in the dog bowl and left out on the porch, and it was raining today, so his food got totally soaked. He didn't wanna eat the soaked food, but eventually, hunger got the better of him, and he forced himself to eat it.

He couldn't believe that his own family would turn their backs on him. At first, his feelings were confusion and a little guilt, btu eventually, these feelings evolved into feelings of hatred, hatred for everyone in his family, everyone, except his 15-month old sister, Lily. She had no guilt on her, in fact, she was the purest sibling in the bundle. He felt a desire to leave his home and take her with him. After looking at his soaking food for a minute, he finally decided "I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna leave everyone behind." He then looked in the window at Lily, who was as happy as any infant could be. "And you're gonna come with me."

When night fell, and everyone had gotten to bed, Lincoln has made a rope out of ripped kites, and has climbed into Lisa and Lily's room. He tiptoed quietly towards Lily's crib, making sure not to make a sound. Whenever he did make a sound, he checked to make sure nobody heard. Once he got to Lily's crib, he slowly and carefully picked her up out of her crib. He then whispered to her quietly "It's time to begin our lives anew..." And with that, he snuck back to the window and slowly climbed down. He knew he was taking a great risk in taking Lily away from home, but he didn't care. He no longer cared how his ungrateful family felt. He spent all 11 years of his life as their glorified lackey. He was sick of it all. It was time for him and Lily to start fresh.

The following morning, the siblings were at a train station, and Lincoln was watching for a train. Lily is now awake, and i still as joyful as she could be. Lincoln was holding her close to him, making sure not to lose his grip. Eventually, a train passes by, and Lincoln, with all the strength his legs will give, leaps into an empty boxcar, his grip on Lily not loosening at all. When all was said and done, Lily began giggling, and Lincoln smiled at her. "It's just you and me now, to hell with our family!" Lincoln said to his baby sister. After about 500 miles, Lincoln leapt out of the train car, Lily in his arms. He then began walking along before happening upon the city of Chicago. Lincoln smiled. "This is gonna be a great place to start over" Lincoln said as he walked into the city with his baby sister.

Eleven years later

Lincoln, now 22 years old, is driving along in a 2034 Pontiac Sunbird with Lily and a two-year old boy. When he and Lily arrived in Chicago eleven years earlier, they had lived like hobos on the city streets, eating from the trash and any soup kitchens they could find. Then they were happened upon by a young rich couple, Arnold and Bonnibel Van Dam, who had no children of their own, and were more than happy to take the two off the streets and into their lovely mansion. The Van Dams spoiled the siblings rotten, giving them everything they wanted. Two years ago, Lily found an abandoned newborn baby boy on the streets of Chicago and took him in. This baby's mother, who worked in the butcher shop nearby, died giving birth to him, and the owner of the butcher shop left him by the dumpster, and he would've died there had Lincoln and Lily not come along. Lincoln was more than happy to let this little boy into his life as well, since Lily's relationship with him reminded him of his own relationship with her. In fact, he would even allow them to take naps on his barefeet, a trend which began when Lily was 3, and he still allows them to.

Lincoln pulled up to a gateway, where a guard nods and opens the gate, allowing Lincoln to pass through. he then parked his car, let Lily out, then went to the mailbox as Lily took the toddler, whom she has named "Protea" after a garden store she was standing by when she found him. Lincoln, meanwhile, saw numerous envelopes in his mailbox, mostly junk mail, but then, he found one with the return address "1216 Franklin Avenue", his old home address. He tried not to think about his family, with the smallest memory filling him with rage. The family had managed to learn his location and sent him all sorts of mail begging him to forgive them. He, however, was uninterested in forgiveness. He had even tried his damned hardest not to drag Lily into anything. He wanted to throw the letter away, but curiosity got the better of him, and he opened it, and the news was not good, at least, not to the family.

Apparently, Lucy had become overcome with guilt and took her own life. Lincoln slightly smiled. "Good riddance" he said to himself. A couple of days later, he gets a call on his cellphone. It was Rita. Lincoln contemplated not answering, but eventually, he decided "What the hell?" and answered.

"It's horrible, Lucy as taken her own life, she felt terrible about what happened, and she wanted you to come home. It would mean alot if you and Lily came to her funeral"

Lincoln was filled with rage, almost wanting to fly into a berserker rage. However, he composed himself and said to his mother "Go to hell! Lucy will be waiting for you there, and you can both share your sob story there!"

He ended his phone, and he looked over at his tapestry of the Boston Massacre, which he received from his parents on his 18th birthday. Then he got an idea, an awful idea, Lincoln Loud got a wonderful, awful idea.

"I know just what to do..." he said to himself, a gargantuan grin forming on his face.

A week later, the Loud family gathered at Lucy's grave for the service. Not a smile could be seen there. Nearby, however, was a man in a trenchcoat and a fedora. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a pistol with a silencer screwed onto the barrel. He then went behind a tree, aimed his pistol toward Lynn Loud, now 24 years old, and fired once through her eye, and she fell backward into the open grave. Everyone then began to panic. What had happened to the jock of the family? Why had she fallen into her sister's grave? No one knew what to make of the situation, there merely panicked and looked around, but by that point, the figure was gone.

Back at the mansion, Lincoln was watching Lily play with little Protea when his cellphone rang, and he answered. "Van Dam residence" he said, then he smiled. Lynn was dead. This, however, was only the beginning...

Next was Lana, the mechanic of the Loud family. She was changing the wheels on her 1983 AMC Alliance, with Jorn's cover of Whitesnake's "Fool For Your Loving" blaring on her boombox. Unbeknownst to her, however, the trenchoat-clad man from the cemetery walked in and knocked down a shelf with a VH engine on it, and the engine fell onto Lana, killing her instantly. Lana had no time to react when the engine came crashing down on her. The incident was written off as an accident since there were no witnesses. Even the other Louds assumed it was accidental.

A while later, Lola was performing at a beauty show, and a spotlight had fallen on top of her. Like Lana, this was also written off as accidental.

Later on, Lisa was studying lions in the Pittsburgh zoo when they somehow got out of their enclosure and mauled her. Even she wasn't prepared for an animal escape. She survived the ordeal, but lost alot of blood and flesh from it. She probably would've pulled through had the trenchcoat-clad man not entered her room and disconnected the devices keeping her alive.

The Louds were dropping like flies. They felt like they had been struck by a terrible curse. It was like Lincoln's alleged "bad luck" had still effected them even after all these years, even though he really wasn't bad luck.

Oh, the irony...

Lincoln, however, felt very lucky himself. He had nothing but cold bitter hatred for his family. No Loud was worth saving, no Loud except for Lily. Five sisters are now dead, four remain, and is parents too.

When confronted by the police on the matter, he only ha this to say to them, "My family thought I was bad luck all because my jock sister lost a softball game. I hate them, but i didn't do anything to them. They just aren't worth the effort. I've had a good 11 years, and I hope to keep it that way."

With that, the suspicion lifted off of him. He picked up some tips from his adoptive father about winning respect. However, he would have to pause the bloodshed for the time being. He knew that if he took down the rest of his family now, the authorities would be back on his tail, so he would have to bide his time before finishing off the rest. He didn't want Lily to get caught up in his operation. She was just too pure to let the authorities be looking at her.

After enough time had passed, he sent his assassin, whom he has been referring to as "Muddy Grimes" after the villain from "Beavis And Butthead Do America", back to Royal Woods. Lynn Sr. and Rita were driving along the highway, and they stopped at a gas station, where they took a pump and started pumping gas, but once they were done, they found that they couldn't remove it. Before long, the tank overflowed, and the gas started spraying all over the loud parents, and Muddy dropped a lit match on the gas trail leading from the gas station, and a trail of flames approached Vanzilla and the Loud parents, burning them alive, and Muddy walked away as the gas station was literally blown off the map, leaving a large mushroom cloud behind.

Lincoln received word from Muddy about the success of the mission. Since there were no living witnesses to the incident, everybody assumed the gas station explosion was also an unfortunate accident.

Lincoln looked back at Lily and Protea, with Lily tickling the toddler's belly, and he smiled before returning his focus to his next four targets, Lori, Leni, Luna, and Luan. Lori has become the owner of a golf course, Leni has become a fashion designer for the likes of Madonna, Gigi Hadid, and even Cyndi Lauper, Luna has become a successful rock musician, touring with bands like Def Leppard, Saxon, AC/DC, and Ghost, and Luan has become a successful comedian, joining the ranks of Jeff Foxworthy and Larry the Cable Guy.

Lincoln gave instructions to Muddy to make their deaths look like accidents.

Luan had fallen asleep while driving to her next gig, and Muddy had planted Narconal into her last meal, then dumped alcoholic beverages into her car and placed a bottle of whiskey in her hand, then he sent her car driving down a ravine. The coroners determined she had been driving under the influence, and the Narconal had dissolved, leaving only alcohol in her system.

Luna had gotten home from a concert and was now celebrating in her 4-story mansion. She then went to the bathroom, unaware that Muddy had slipped some Thallium into her last drink, and she was found the following morning unresponsive on the floor by one of her servants. Her death mirrored that of Elvis Presley.

Leni had just gotten back from a fashion show in Paris, and ow se was ready to rest for the night. She had heard about the deaths of her family, so she hired bodyguards to watch over her. Muddy had to be crafty about this one. He slipped into her bedroom, grabbed the nearest pillow, and smothered her to death with it before slipping away into the damp night.

Now all that was left was Lori. The sun was setting at Lori's golf course, and Lori was about to call it a night when she noticed that she had forgotten her cellphone, the one thing she cared about more than anything. She went back to look for it, unaware that she had stepped on a thread tied to the bottom of the floor. This kickstarted a chain reaction leading to the thermostat being turned up to 300 degrees. Lori started sweating profusely, but then, she fell to her knees. She was being boiled alive, and Muddy was watching from outside through the window. Once Lori stopped breathing and moving, Muddy reported back to Lincoln.

"It is done" Lincoln said to himself.

Six years later

Lincoln, now 28 years old, has moved into a large penthouse with Lily, Protea, and his lovers, 30-year old Mildred Sawyer, his personal masseuse, 26-year old Jessica Watterson, one of his many servants from the Van Dam mansion, 27-year old Margaret Hill, a woman he met at a nightclub a couple years earlier, 29-year old Craig Park, the son of one of Arnold Van Dam's maids, and 25-year old Damien Hathaway, a cousin of the Van Dam pool boy. Yes, Lincoln has some male lovers as well. Throughout his life, Lincoln had developed a curiosity about the LGBT lifestyle, and once he passed his 18th birthday, he was able to grab the opportunity to explore it, and he was not disappointed. 18-year old Lily, meanwhile, kept the house, cooking, cleaning, the usual housewife stuff. Lily still had a soft spot for little Protea, just as Lincoln had for her, always finding time for the 8-year old boy, and Lincoln also found time for him as well. They were all one big happy family. Even though Lily had the body of a supermodel, he couldn't engage in sexual activity with her, even he thought that would be messed up. Besides, sex was what he had Mildred, Jessica, Margaret, Craig, and Damien for.

Yep, life was pretty good.

Lily, however, was completely unaware of who her real family was, or that Lincoln had arranged their deaths. Protea, likewise, had no idea who his real mother was, let alone that she died giving birth to him. He was just as happy as any 8-year old boy could be. Lincoln and Lily doted on him and gave him everything he wanted just as the Van Dams had before.

Then, Lily died.

Lincoln found her unresponsive in her bed one day. He took him to the ER, where he found out that she had accidentally ingested some cyanide Lincoln had reserved for himself in the event his assassinations of the Loud family were discovered. Lincoln fell to his knees, the only Loud he loved, the only pure Loud, was gone forever.