(A/N: wanted to write a special yet admittedly projective story. Mixing things from lore and my actual life since 4/4 would've been my Grandma's birthday. She went to be with the Lord Jan 21st, and I debated on whether writing this would be helpful or not, but I feel a little better)
Jon's pov
We had been living in Smallville for a few weeks now, and things were slowly getting... less worse. That is, until I woke up to today. What would've been Grandma's birthday. Losing her was still so fresh in my mind. I had never really liked Smallville and I did not keep that sentiment under wraps, but I love my Grandma. And being in Smallville without her? It just will never feel right. I don't feel like sharing these feelings and thoughts with my Dad, though. Because I know he's hurting a billion times worse. He actually heard her heart stop. You can't easily come back from that. Jordan and Mom miss her too, and I don't wanna make them worse. I know Dad said the El family motto was Stronger Together, but today I had to be strong for them, not with them.
But as I sit in my room trying to hide the cascade of tears that wrack sobs through my body, all I feel is pain. And, even when it does go away, it comes back in crashing waves when I least expect it. And this town? She's all over it, for better or worse. Along with the blanket she made me as a baby, which was tucked safely around me, she had written books for me and Jordan. She started around the time we were four or five, but with the help of my parents, had anecdotes of things we said or accomplished from the very day were born. The final entry in mine is, hauntingly, from the day she passed. I had called her to tell her about making varsity QB in Metropolis. Her sweet-as-honey voice echoes in my mind as I run my fingers over the tear-stained pages of my memory book, cracking a tiny smile every now and then, because BOY was I an impish kid at some points.
I did not know how to approach the day, did not know if I wanted to. I just wanted to stay in bed. I couldn't quite pretend it would be a regular birthday celebration. But it felt selfish to ask my family what we were going to do, if anything at all. I did not wanna throw this first milestone in their faces, especially not Dad's.
I'm brought out of my thoughts by my Mom's voice
"Hey, Jon. May I come in?"
I nod, and she hugs me when she reaches my bed
"How did you sleep?"
My voice thick from a lump in my throat, I replied
"Good. You?"She sighed
"You can be honest with me. I couldn't sleep all that well either. C'mere."
I did not hesitate to fall into her arms at her open arms invitation, glad to have someone that I could allow myself to drop the act around. And, close as she was to Grandma, Mom was the safest option for me. She ran her hands through my hair and wiped my eyes, noticing my book, adorned with red fishes against a blue background. I had such a thing for fish when I was young and only now did I register the Superman colors connection, allowing myself to chuckle a bit, more like a snort. What I missed the most wasn't even her food, though she was the best cook ever. But the quiet moments at night when I'd snuggle close to her when Jord and I would sleep in her room with her, her stories and homework help, all the interesting things she taught us... The genuine happiness she radiated to those around her. And her sound advice that she gave me when I asked her for life advice, for how to be. She said Be the reason someone is smiling, be the smile in someone's life.
And as my Mom held me and we talked about Grandma and her legacy, I slowly started to feel better, just a little bit. But hey, family motto. El Mayarah.