Chapter 2

I can't loose her. Not now, when I finally realized what she really means to me. Not when I just realized how much it would really hurt to loose her. I can't live without her. I just can't. I need her to much. I can't breath without her. I can't loose her. Not now. Not like this. Not ever.

'Dear, do you have her fathers number? I think you should call him', his mothers hand warm on his. He wipes away the lone tear that pressed its way down his cheek.

'Yeah, wait a second', he gets his cell out. Contemplating for a second who he should call. He can't tell Mr. Suarez that his daughter was in an accident. He would break down during it. But calling Hilda, that's not going to go smooth either. Bobby, he's the one. He knows how to tell everyone. Pressing the call button, he heard the ringing.

'Hey Daniel, how are you, buddy?', Bobby picks up at the third ring.

'Bobby...', Daniel's voice his shaking, breaks away.

'What happened?', Bobby's voice as strained as Daniel's.

'Betty had an accident. She is in St. Vincent's emergency room. Me and my mom are on our way over there.'

'What kind of accident, Daniel? She's an editor', Bobby's confused.

'She went out to lunch to meet a friend of hers. She must've taken a cab back, even though the place is in walking distant. Probably thought that she would run late if she wouldn't. On her way back the cab was involved in a car accident. That's all I know', Daniel hurries through this dialogue. Feels another tear pressing behind his eyes. Threatening to spill any second. His eyes clenched close. Maybe this way he can hold them in. Force them to go back.

'Oh, ok. Thanks for your call. I tell them and we'll meet you there in a bit', Bobby says serious

'Ok, see you in a bit. Bye', Daniel whispers. Puts his phone away, and rests his head back for a while. His thoughts are swimming. He can't focus on anything else than that he can't lose her.

'We're here', his mom takes his hand, drags him along behind her.

Hurrying out of the towncar and into the hospital he runs over to the counter. The busy nurse not even looking up at him.

'Hey, I'm Daniel Meade. Not long ago a Betty Suarez was brought in. She was in a car accident.'

'Huh? Sorry, what was that? Betsy Suarez?'

'No, Betty Suarez', Daniel says firm and annoyed.

'Alright, let me check. Oh, yeah, she was brought in fifty minutes ago. Didn't look good. She's in surgery now. Going to be on ICU when she comes out.', the nurse looks up at him, chewing bubblegum with an slight open mouth. Daniel's purely disgusted. How could she be so careless. There was a life at stake and she sounded so blasé about it.

'Thank you, Donna, we will find our way.', Claire says as cold as she could muster. Takes Daniel's hand and drags him over to the elevators.

'Calm down, Daniel. It's not her fault. It's her job. She is used to deal with very annoying and exhausting people. She probably doesn't mean it like that'

'Yeah, well she could've at least try to sound a bit more caring', Daniel grumbles to himself.

'Daniel, did you hear anything?', a frantic Mr. Suarez rushed over to the seating area Daniel and his mother was occupying.

'Mr. Suarez', Daniel greeted him briefly. Quickly nodded to the rest. 'No, I don't know anything. They wouldn't tell me anyway, even if I ask. I'm not family'

'That's ridiculous, of course he's family', he hears Justin mutter to his mother. Which causes a fleeting smile onto Daniel's face.

'Let me go and see if I can find out anything. Just wait here, I'll come straight back.', Mr. Suarez makes his way over to what seems like a nurse office.

'Daniel, what happened?', Hilda's make up was smeared all under her eyes. She had been crying. Of course. Hell, he would've cried, if he would've been alone. Or with Betty.

'I don't know. What I told Bobby was all I know. We have to wait till we get the facts from her, I guess.'

'That's good thinking. Chipmunk is a fighter. She's not going anywhere.', Bobby draws Hilda closer into his body. Justin wrapped around his mothers side. It's quite the sight. The kind of family Daniel so desperately wanted for himself. And again a prickling pressing feeling behind his eyes. This can't be happening. Why couldn't it be him in the accident. That would've been so much better. So much easier to endure.

'They couldn't tell me much, only that she has a minor shoulder injury and a head injury. The worst part apparently is a spine injury the accident caused. For both the shoulder and spine she needs surgery. They couldn't say what kind of head injury for sure. The doctors rushed her into the OR the second they found out about her spine', Mr. Suarez plops down into one of the chairs. Defeated and worried. Daniel couldn't take it. He excused himself. He needed to get out of there. The restroom his safe haven. Leaned forward on the sink he lets the tears fall for a short minute. Then he gathers himself, splashes cold water into his face, when he hears the soft sound of the door falling close.

'Daniel, how are you holding up?', Mr. Suarez must've followed him. Daniel closes his eyes. This man behind him was more like a father to him, than his own ever was. The amount of talks he had with him over the years. About everything, really. That he tries to comfort him in a moment like this. When his own world must be upside down. It shows what kind and loving people this family really are.

'I think I should ask you that, Ignacio', Daniel says, turning around slowly. Grabbing a paper towel and drying his hands and face.

'Ah, so you haven't forgotten. I was a little worried I would have to tell you again', Ignacio smiles.

'No, it just didn't feel appropriate', Daniel's face downward. The tiles on the floor so interesting in their simplicity. It's amazing how grind and dirt can be more fascinating than the person in front of you.

'No need to worry about that. So, tell me, how are you holding up. You look, don't mind my vocabulary, like shit', Ignacio says bluntly.

'Great, so I do look the way I feel. I was wondering about that', Daniel tries to joke.

'No need to be brave with me'

'I know, I'm trying to be brave for myself', Daniel whispers. The tears from early threatening to spill again. A warm hand lands on his shoulder, squeezes his reassuringly. His breath is laboured. Again this overwhelming feeling of not being able to breath. 'I feel like I can't breath.'

'I know that feeling. That's what I felt like when my Rosa told me that she had cancer. The worst feeling in the world. I thought my whole world was ripped out of my hands.'

'Yeah, when Molly went into Remission. That's what it felt like. Not so intense, but kind of similar.'

'When someone we love is hurting, we wish to trade places with them. I know I always wanted to trade with Rosa.'

'That's what I thought on our way over. That I wish it would've been me in the accident. It would've been easier to endure.', Daniel whispers. Baring more of his feelings in this little conversation that he allowed to acknowledge to himself.

'Not for our Betty. She would've felt just the same as you feel now.', Ignacio says final. Knowing look directed at Daniel's face. Clapping him two three times on the shoulder to lighten the tense moment he says 'Come on, let's go out. I don't want to miss the doctor'

They were waiting for five long hours. His mom repeatedly went downstairs to the cafeteria, providing everyone with snacks, coffee and soda. She was amazing. Being there for him, but also allowed him to sort out everything on his own. She took care of everything that she could. Managed everything with MODE and MEADE PUBLICATIONS from the hospital. She texted Amanda every detail. And when the doctor finally stepped through the double doors leading to the ICU, everyone stood up - tense and nervous.

'Hello, you must be the family of Ms. Suarez. I'm Dr. Cooper.', he holds out his hand to shake Ignacio's.

'Hello doctor. I'm Ignacio Suarez, Betty's father. This is my older daughter Hilda with her husband Bobby and son Justin. This is Daniel Meade and Claire Meade. Very close friends of Betty and the family. How is she?', Ignacio explained fast.

With a short nod to the rest of the family and friends he immediately elaborates 'Well, the impact of the car was very rough. Ms. Suarez suffered a lot of minor cuts and bruises, her whole body is one big purple bruise and her right wrist is broken. She has a major shoulder fracture that we had to fix in a surgery. Don't be shocked when you see her. There was so much damage to the bone that we had to install a metal fixation directly to the bone, which will steady the many bone fragments in the right place, so they can heal properly, without causing her too much pain afterwards. It's not something you see everyday. And she will need to have surgery again to remove it, but this is her best chance of a full recovery. The second issue we struggled with was her head injury. She must've hit her head very hard. She had a six inch bleeding which we could absorb completely. Her spine on the other hand got the worst hit, she had a five inch glass fracture buried deep in between her spine that we had to remove. We can't tell if she has any side effects from that injury. She was unconscious when she was brought in and we couldn't run more tests to see how well her nerves react to electrical stimulation. I'm very sorry to tell you that there is no saying how she will come out of this. We don't know yet, if she will be able to make a full recovery from that', everyone is shocked. No one thought that she would be that hurt. They thought one or two broken bones a concussion, sure. But nothing so serious.

'Because of her head injury it could take her a while to wake up. It could take a day or two. Maybe even longer. After a situation like this there is no saying how the body reacts. There is the possibility of a coma, but we don't want to think about it just now. And even if she wakes up, we don't know how much damage there is going to be. She could have Amnesia or simple symptoms like a strong headache, vertigo and nausea. But it could be also worse. There could be irreparable damage. I want you to be aware of this. If you want, I can show you to her room. I'm sure you'd like to see her'

'Thank you, Dr. Cooper. And please, we would like to see her.', Ignacio's voice strained, overwhelmed by all the negative possibilities.

'Of course, though I'm very sorry to inform you that it's only family. She is on the ICU. And she will be for the next couple of days. It all depends on her recovery. When she's on the regular unit everyone beside her family will be able to visit her.', Dr. Cooper explains a little unsure. An uncertain look on Daniel and Mrs. Meade.

'It's alright', Daniel says, taking a step back.

'It's not alright, Daniel. They are family', Justin's voice rings through the corridor, full of attitude.

'I'm sorry, it's not my rule. It's the hospitals rule.', Dr. Cooper explains further.

'We tell you that they are family, basta.', Hilda chipped in.

'Guys, be reasonable. Go, see Betty, we stay here.', Daniel tries to calm everyone down.

'No, Daniel, they are right. You are family.', Ignacio said with a pointed look to the doctor. 'They have the same rights we have.'

'Alright, I will make a note for the staff.', the doctor sighed. He knew there was no arguing with them.