Chapter 3

He brought them to Betty's room.

'It will be good for her to hear the voices of the people she knows and loves. Maybe hold her hand. Let her feel that she's not alone and that your here. It will help her to come out of this. Just keep in mind not to overwhelm her. Maybe just go in groups of two or three.', Dr. Cooper said his goodbyes and made his way back to the offices.

Ignacio and Hilda walked in first. Bobby wanted to give them some privacy. Go in with the next round. Until he saw Hilda breaking down in one of the chairs. He rushed in, hold her. Daniel stood in front of the window to her room. He saw her, even though it was very dimly lit. Saw her pale face, the white hospital gown. How frail she looked laying in the hospital bed. The monitor beeping steadily. Showing her heart rate. All the cables and hoses attached to her small body. He couldn't count all of them. It was all so overwhelming. The last time he was here was when his father died. And when Molly refused treatment, they still had to go in for several examinations and symptom treatments. But the feeling was the same. Helpless. There was nothing he could do. He could only wait and hope. And the last two times he was in this situation. Well, his hope wasn't enough. He can't get in there. What if she doesn't come out of this? What if she never comes back to him? Pep talks, late night dinners in his office or conference room, hanging out watching a movie, talking about anything and nothing. So many memories are floating through his mind. Crashing down on him. Overwhelming him with the feeling of being lost without her. Their last conversation this morning. You'll pay for that. That's what he said to her. Yes, it was meant as a joke, flirty even. Her comeback so carefree, flirting a little with him. He felt like they had so much time to explore this exciting change in their friendship. He didn't think, that he would stand in the ICU. Looking at her - badly injured and unresponsive. What if he won't see that brilliant smile ever again?

'Daniel, do you want to go in next?', his mom asks him softly. He can't answer. Shakes his head violently. A single tear falls down his cheek and he turns around and walks back into the waiting area.

He buries his face into his hands. He can't go in there. It feels like a trap. The walls on the corridor were closing in on him. He always hated hospitals. But with all the bad experiences he gathered up throughout the years, who could blame him? And whenever he had to go he had always Betty at his side. Cheering him on. Distracting him with her exuberant non-stop talking and colourful outfits. In a way he misses them. They weren't fashionable, but they were so Betty. They were loud and bright and sometimes you felt annoyed by their overwhelming colourfulness, but you had to love them. Because they were warm, fun and happy. God, he already misses her so much.

'Hey buddy', Bobby sat down next to him.

'Hey', Daniel chokes out.

'You know, running away from it, doesn't make it disappear. It would be great if it did, but it didn't'

'Don't you think I know that? With my whole family being so screwed up. Causing drama after drama, because we can't get our shit together? With my former brother who's now a sister, or my dad dying here after his heart attack, only a few hours after he tried to marry the wicked witch from the east side? Believe me, if there is one thing I know for sure, it's that this won't disappear', Daniel was angry, his voice getting louder by the second. Tears pooling in the corners of his eyes. 'I can't go in there. It makes everything real. If I pretend it's not real, I can imagine her, sitting right there in the chair. Giving me her annoying judgy butterfly look. I know exactly what she would tell me right now. She would call me an ass for not going back in. She would wear me down with an overwhelming guilt that you can only remedy by doing what would be right. But right now, she's not here. She doesn't give me the look. No, she's in that stupid bed, with the stupid heart monitor being the only source of sound. Excuse me, if I rather sit here and pretend she's still here then to go in there and acknowledge the fact, that she might never come back to me'

'Hey, calm down, Rambo, I get it man. You love her. We all do. Though I do think yours is a slightly different kind of love?', Bobby says calm, one eyebrow raised looking at Daniel. Daniel starts fidgeting under the scrutinizing gaze, looks down on his hands. 'Believe me, if our roles were reversed and that was Hilda in there, I would go nuts, too. But I would still be there, cause that's the only thing we can do for her right now. Like the doctor said. Let her know we are here and rooting for her to come back to us'

Bobby stands up and walks over to the double doors. 'You know the Suarez sisters for four years now. You should know by now that you should try to stay on their good side. Boy, when Betty wakes up and notices that you're not there, I don't want to be you then', when he turns around to walk through the doors Daniel sighs deep.

'Sorry', he calls out, 'for snapping at you. It's just a little too much, you know?', Daniel looks up and meets understanding and forgiveness.

'If it's any consolation to you, she doesn't look as bad up close as she looks through the window. And I know Chipmunk would want you there.', Bobby says and nods to Daniel.

Standing in front of her room again, he needs to take a few breaths before stepping in. And there he is. In his own private little hell. Taking a few small steps further into the room he thrusts his hands into his pant pockets. A lump forming inside his throat. And those damn tears. How he hated those.

'Why don't we give you two some privacy?', Ignacio said soft, took Justin in his arm and was followed by Hilda and his mom outside.

When the door softly closed behind them, Daniel let out an uneven breath. Stepping closer to the bed he took her in. Let's his eyes sweep over her face, sees all the little cuts and bruises. The stitches above her right eyebrow. The bandages around her head. Her right shoulder, with the metal thing the doctor explained. Her right arm, that lay bare on the hospital bed. The slightly swollen right hand in a cast. The gown probably didn't fit over it all. The tubes and cables and hoses. So many. All he could do right now was basking in the sound of her heartbeat. Steady. She's still here. She's not gone yet. You have to hope.

Taking a step closer he took one of the chairs. Sitting down next to the bed.

'Hey', he swallows hard. The tears falling freely. He couldn't hold them back anymore. Seeing her like this is the worst he ever felt in his life. 'Sorry, I try to get it together. It's just really hard right now'

He takes her left hand in his. Cups it with his hands. Closing his eyes for a second. He feels her now cold hand in his. Normally so warm and responsive. The way she would wave them in the air whenever she tells an engaging story. He places a kiss on her fingers. Lingers at her skin, trying to breath some life back into her unconscious body.

'I'm so sorry, Betty, I wish I could trade places with you', Daniel whispers, the subsided tears welling up again. 'I wish you were here. Tell me that everything's going to be alright. That I should have faith. I can see you in front of me, telling me how sucky I am for losing hope. Your arms crossed over. Giving me your judgy-butterfly look. God, I would rather fight with you than take this shit. So, hang in there, ok? Cause what am I going to do without you? I can't live without you, Betty. You have to wake up. You have to promise me to wake up. No matter what, you have to wake up, this is an order. You hear me? It's a goddamn order, Betty', his voice breaks away, the tears spill uncontrollably. And all he hears are her shallow breaths and the steady beeping of the heart monitor.