Chapter 34

Kate and Steve sat in Lottie's room in waves of chatter and silence. They watched Lottie's chest move up and down, her monitors display her vital signs and watched a drip dispense fluids to her system. They did as advised and spoke to Lottie, tried to reassure her that she was safe and they were there for her but as predicted there was no response.

"Steve, they're here" Kate said after some time in silence and he looked to her to see that she had her phone in her hand. Ted must have texted her. Steve squeezed Lottie's hand.

"Lottie, mum and dad are here. Only two people can be with you so I have to leave you. I'll be back soon though, I promise. Just please, hold on. Stay. Please?" he asked her. No reply. He kissed her forehead before Kate led him out the room.

Seeing his parents was one of the most difficult things Steve had ever done. They were just as upset and confused by what had happened. Clearly Ted had already spoken to them on arrival at the airport as there were some things that they didn't need to discuss but others that natural poured out of them being family. They clung to each other and tears were shed. Kate had hoped to have met Steve's parents under nicer circumstances, nothing like this. She and Ted stepped aside to let the family talk and Steve guided them to Lottie's room.

"How is he doing?" Ted asked Kate watching the trio walk down the corridor.

"Not good, sir. Lottie, she's … It's not good. Alex needs to be informed but she can only be seen by two people at a time and of course family are first."

Ted nodded. "I'll contact him. Don't worry about that. We need to get back to the office and pull everything together. I have a feeling there is more to this then we know. We need to do the analysis on the recording, get everyone back in for questioning and tear that farm house apart. I want Christopher found," Ted said, his voice tried but determined.

"Sir, about that, Steve and I think we have information about Christopher's remains."

After several minutes Steve reappeared in the waiting area where Ted and Kate stood talking. He looked like he was about to drop but still standing.

"Mum and dad are going to stay with her overnight. I'm going back to the flat. We can take it in turns to be with her," Steve explained. He sounded exhausted.

"Son, if there is anything that I can do-" Ted began.

"You can tell me how it is that special ops decided to take the double shot when it wasn't clear," Steve cut him off. His voice was calm but serious.

"I am getting those answers now and as soon as I have them I will tell you. I never gave the order to shoot, you have my word on that. I give you my word I will find out what happened."

"I need to get back to the office and look into –" Steve began but both Ted and Kate protested stopping him short.

"You need to rest. If you become ill after all this, what will that do to your mum and dad? What will it do to Lottie? Steve, you have to go home and sleep." Reluctantly Steve nodded. "Sir, I'll take him home, make sure he's ok. You need to look into the willow tree."

"I will. I'll keep you both informed."

The flat was dark, cold and silent. Somehow the day had flashed by in a heartbeat but the night was dragging on. Since Lottie had come to live with him the lights were always on when he got home, music playing, vivid signs of life. Now though, there was nothing. It made Steve feel sick. Flashbacks of the silent bathroom from 12 years prior flooded his brain.

Kate sat Steve down on the sofa before going to kitchen. She grabbed two glasses from the cupboard along with a bottle of whisky Steve had stashed in the cupboard above the fridge and freezer unit. She poured them both a large glass and held one out to him.

"No tea this time?" he asked.

"You need this so drink it," she commanded. The two drank the whisky quickly and it sent a wave of warmth through them. "I would make you some food but I'm not going to force something down your throat."

"Kate?" She turned to look at Steve who reminded her of Josh when he was scared. "Will you stay? I don't think I can sleep in this flat alone. She's always been here at night," he asked in almost a whisper.

"I'm not going anywhere. Come on, let's get you to bed."

Steve changed into a pair of thin shorts and a t-shirt in the bathroom and Kate borrowed a t-shirt and jogger bottoms from Lottie's wardrobe. By the time she dressed she found Steve climbing into bed.

"Side preference?" he asked.

"Whichever side you don't sleep on." She watched him climb into bed on the side closest to where he stood before she climbed into the bed also. The two got comfortable in silence and a chuckle from Steve broke it. "What?" Kate asked turning on her side to face him.

"Since Lottie arrived I haven't dated or anything so, bit bizarre being in this situation with you."

"You really know how to flatter a girl, huh?"

"Who said I wasn't happy about that?" The two smiled at each other as they locked eyes. Somehow they couldn't break it. Something had shifted between them and the smiles faded. Steve found himself leaning towards her and she didn't pull back. Lightly his lips brushed against hers. She felt a warm tingle run through her body and yearned for more but the thought of Lottie stopped her. The thought of a possible regret on either side for destroying their friendship stopped the feelings within her.

"Stop" she whispered feeling him go in for another kiss and he immediately pulled back. He looked gutted.

"I'm sorry I –"

"No, don't apologise. I'm not saying 'no' Steve. I'm saying 'not now'. You need to sleep."

Steve nodded and rolled onto his side away from her. Within ten minutes she could tell from him breathing that he was finally asleep. She turned off the bedroom light and settled down to sleep herself unsure of what the morning would bring.

Steve wasn't sure what woke him. A chill in the room from his partly opened window, a creak of a floorboard? A new weight on his mattress? Whatever it was, Steve knew there was something on the other side of his mattress which shouldn't be there. It wasn't Kate either. Slowly he rolled over from his left to his right side and smiled at the sight. There on her left side, beaming at him was a five-year-old Lottie. Her fire red hair curly and wild, her glasses making her eyes look huge in the moonlight. He rested his head on his bent right arm.

"This is a dream," Steve said softly.

"There are more things in heaven and earth Horatio, than are dreamt of in our philosophy," came her reply. Steve raised his eyebrows.

"Big words for a five-year-old."

"Your dream, remember? I can say and do whatever you want me to. Just because I look five doesn't mean I can't start screaming every swear word known to man."

"Why are you here?" he asked. She moved closer to him and ran her fingers over his eyebrows and his hair. He felt every fingertip as if it was real and her fingers were freezing cold to the touch. He saw sadness in her eyes. It was almost as if she was trying to memorise him with her touch.

"Because you asked me to stay," she whispered back. He reached over and pulled Lottie's tiny body to his chest, making sure she had the duvet over her to keep her warm along with his protective arm. He closed his eyes and rested her forehead against her small head. He didn't know what made him say it.

"I'm not ready to let you go … but I'm not going to force you to stay if you feel you have to go."

"I'm not ready to let you go either. Can I stay with you? Until I fall asleep?"

He nodded and kissed her head. She snuggled up to him and began to hum the familiar tune of You Are My Sunshine. It wasn't long before her humming and the feel of her small body in his arms sent him to sleep.

Steve woke up to bright sunlight streaming through the window. Somehow it was 10am and he felt somewhat rested. No urgent messages during the night which reassured him Lottie survived the night and so did he. Looking around he realised he was alone in the room. The memory of kissing Kate filled his mind and he ran his hands over his face and through his hair as he mentally kicked himself for it. He gathered Kate must have left earlier in the morning to work so he got up and headed to his bedroom door to head for the bathroom.

"Morning," he heard on exiting his room and jumped at the sight of Kate sat at the kitchen table, her laptop open. She was back in her outfit from the previous day and clearly she had showered as her hair was wet.

"Morning," he muttered in surprise. "I thought you might have left in the night."

"I told you I'm not going anywhere. I rang the hospital. No change in Lottie's condition and I got a message to your mum and dad that you are ok and that you'll call them. Alex has been blowing up your phone so I spoke to him for you. I got your car returned overnight from Dudley. It's downstairs in your usual parking space and I've emptied it out of Lottie's things. They are in her room," Kate explained as she got up and headed for the kettle to make him a drink.

"How did you do all that without waking me?"

"When you have had to sneak into a child's room at Christmas to hang up a stocking and try not to wake them, you learn some skills. Besides, you clearly needed sleep. Go get yourself cleaned up and I'll make you some breakfast."

"You don't need to do that" Steve began to protest.

"You didn't eat yesterday Steve so how are you going to spend all day in a hospital and not pass out? I'm the parent here in this scenario. You're eating before you leave here."

Knowing that he wasn't going to win Steve nodded and headed to the bathroom. When he reached the doorway he stopped and turned back to her.

"Kate?" She looked over at him. "About last night …" she held up a hand to stop him speaking.

"Like I said, it's a 'not now'".

A pregnant pause fell over the two. Steve nodded and headed into the bathroom. When he closed the door he thought about what she said. It's not a 'no' he thought before turning on the shower.

When Steve re-emerged twenty minutes later, newly showered and more presentable, he found a plate of scrambled eggs on toast and a hot mug of coffee waiting for him. Kate was typing away furiously at her laptop and had her phone pressed to her ear.

"Yep I've got them now. Have forensics confirmed yet? …. Yep, I'll be there. Give me a couple of hours. I've got to go. Bye." Kate hung up and smiled at him.

"Update on the case?" Steve asked sitting down. Kate unconsciously gave him a look he recognised from being a kid of a mother making sure her child has eaten so he picked up a fork and began to eat.

"Yes. Nicholas survived his surgery and has police on watch at his bedside and room door to make sure he isn't going anywhere. Looks like we now have forensics confirmation that the hand was from Nicholas. The sticker on the delivery box matched the ones from his farm used for his family business and the ink was from his home printer. We discovered that he had ordered a delivery from Lush two months previously using the same box to send the hand. Being a farm that had a business relating to storing and preserving dairy products, there are fridges and freezers all over the place. Not identified which one the hand was stored in yet but I think it will be in the farm house not used for the family business. We found that he travelled to Manchester the morning that the box was handed over to the post office from the e-mails Lottie collected so that he can be charged with. They've begun the dig for Christopher as well this morning. Maneet has started going through the e-mails and I think Lottie lied to Nicholas about something."

Steve stopped eating at those words. "About what?"

"That she knew she was being taken that day. The e-mails have bare minimum information to his chosen workers and Nicholas mentions a delivery not a pick up. There is no mention of this building or Lottie in any of the e-mails between them and Nicholas. So she must have remembered those e-mails and in her chat with Nicholas decided to bend the truth. I think she did it to see how he would react," Kate explained.

"What about the other e-mails?" Steve asked.

"Being poured over by everyone in the office as we speak. Gaffer has us only working on this case. Lottie wasn't lying. This guy uses one e-mail account for everything. If he got hacked or got a computer virus he would have been screwed. The offshore account is confusing me so much. If he has all that money and has done all this terrible stuff, why didn't he ever leave the country and spend it on a new life? It doesn't make any sense to me."

"Maybe he didn't want to leave the farm in case Christopher got found. Or he was cocky enough to believe that he was invincible. Either way he's scum," Steve muttered before taking a sip of his coffee.

"I have to get to Dudley. Are you going to be alright getting to the hospital?" she asked.

"I'll be fine. Thanks to you I slept. Well, Lottie too." Kate looked at him confused. "I had a dream about her last night. She came to visit me. Silly, huh?"

"No, not silly at all. If it meant you slept that it was worth it. I'll call you later and make sure you take a bag of stuff with you to the hospital. If you are taking shifts with your parents some home comforts at the hospital will help. I better go hit the road. If you hear anything, let me know?"

"You're top of my contacts list, mate" Steve smiled. With a soft smile, Kate got up, picked up her stuff and left. It didn't take long for the silence to get to Steve. He began to play with the sleeve of his top and on realising he opened Spotify on his phone. He went to the playlist of albums Lottie had formed for him to list to and hit play on a random track on the first one without looking at the title. A song he didn't know began to play. Highway Patrolman by Bruce Springsteen. Steve sat in silence listening to the hauntingly beautiful tale of a set of siblings, one a police officer, the other a troubled man who has run-ins with the law.

I catch him when he's strayin' like any brother would
Man turns his back on his family well he just ain't no good

His phone ringing cut the music and made his jump. Steve took a breath before answering.

"Steve? It's Alex. I need to see her."

Alex was waiting for Steve at the entrance of the hospital when he pulled up not half an hour later. Alex clearly hadn't slept and was worried about Lottie. The two shared only a few words and Steve lead Alex up to the ICU.

"I keep thinking about what Ted told me happened. I can't make sense of it," Alex explained.

"None of us can," Steve muttered. "It's only two people at a time. Mum and dad have been with her all night so they may not be up for much talk by the way," Steve explained. Alex simply nodded, unsure of what was ok to say. The nurse went to tell Steve's parents he was here and when the two joined Steve and Alex they looked exhausted. Jane gave Alex a hug and thanked him for coming. She was automatically in mother mode and made she he was well and offered her support to him. Steve meanwhile gave His father his car and flat keys.

Alex froze on seeing Lottie through the hospital room window before he stepped into the room. He wasn't expecting her injuries let alone how pale she was and all the machines. Steve saw the colour drain from him and put a hand of Alex's shoulder to show his support.

"Please tell me the bastard who did this to her is dead else I might have to go cut his throat myself," Alex hissed.

"Not yet. He's not going anywhere though. Lottie wouldn't want to hear you say that so I am glad you said it now and not in there. He's going to go down for this Alex. We don't know if she can hear us but we are encouraged to talk to her. Hold her hand."

"How long will she be like this?" Alex asked.

"We don't know … we don't know if she will wake up either. Go on, sit with her. I'll leave you two alone for a while."

"Thank you," Alex said softly before entering the room. Steve watched Alex gingerly make his way over to Lottie's side and take her hand before turning away and walking towards the seating area with his bag of home comforts. Kate was right, it was needed especially the thermos of hot coffee he brought with him. As he went to open the thermos he glanced at the chairs opposite him and stopped what he was doing. There sat Charles watching him.

"I need to talk to you," he said with a quiver in his voice. Steve put down the thermos.