Chapter 26

While she got already checked and told that she was too late for an epidural, they were still waiting for Dr. Lester to show up. Just her damn luck. But it was her own fault. And Daniel, he is nervous as hell. Pacing around her bed like a maniac. Once in a while throws a cautious and worried look in her direction, flinching away whenever another contraction hits her.

'And that's why I haven't told you. You're a worrier', the contraction just subsided. And Betty slumps down in the bed and holds her hand out to him.

'Maybe, but it still would've been nice to know', Daniel stands on the left side of the room. Stopped pacing around for a second. Taking her in. The slightly sweaty strands of hair around her face, her feverish looking cheeks and the almost wet glint in her eyes. But still. She's never been more beautiful. How the hell does she do that?

'Come here please?', Betty sighs deep. The contractions are getting worse by the minute. She has a little break from them right now, but can already feel another one welling up.

'Sorry, I'm just so nervous. You know I don't care that you haven't said anything, right? I just don't want anything to happen to you or Ben. I will feel so much better when Dr. Lester is here', Daniel sits down on her bedside, takes her hand in his. Places a lingering kiss on her knuckles.

'Everything's going to be fine. Believe me', she softly rakes her hand through his hair and cups his cheek. Her soft smile shines radiant and fills this draft room with so much light and colour. 'Are you ready for this, daddy?'

Nodding, his eyes fill with happy tears. Brings her hand up to his lips again. 'You?'

'I can't wait', her own tears of joy fall freely, when a sharp knock interrupt them. And there he is. In all his middle aged, confident and professional glory: Dr. Lester.

'Ah, Daniel, Betty, how are you holding up?', standing next to Betty's bed he shakes their hands real quick before putting on a pair of gloves.

'We're stressed out, but happy and can't wait til he's here', Betty explains simple.

'Yes, I know exactly what you mean. Even though I'm a pro. I was so nervous and stressed out every time my wife gave birth to one of our children. But let me take a quick look to see what is going on and then we can talk about what comes next', he lifts up the blanket and yelps a little.

'Woah, that's unexpected. Since when did you say you have contractions?'

'It's a little blurry. You know that I had these fake contractions from time to time, but at some point yesterday they felt different. And yesterday evening I was sure that these must be real contractions. But they were soft and very far apart, so I didn't think anything by it. Why?'

'Because we have no time to waste, he wants out of you. ASAP', he hits the call button and starts to prepare everything.

'Oh my, I get everything ready, Doctor', the nurse says when she enters the room. Fishes out a phone and calls a few different numbers. Steps up next to the bed, puts on a pair of gloves and gets a towel.

'Alright, we talked this through probably a hundred times, Betty. You know what to do. Push with the contractions and he should be here in no time'

'Hold on, but you said there is the possibility of him being to big for her. That he may not fit through her birth channel', Daniel's worried, holds Betty's hand in a bone crushing grip.

'I know, but right now everything looks normal. If he wouldn't fit, he wouldn't be so low. I can almost see his head, Daniel. That is a good sign. But in case he won't fit through an OR is reserved and prepared for us. Don't worry, Daniel. I won't let anything happen to them', Dr. Lester explains quickly, before focusing back on Betty. 'Ok, Betty, you know you're queue', waiting for the next contraction, Betty gets increasingly nervous. This is it. They're finally gonna meet their son. In a few pushes he could be here with them. And then the contraction builds up. And it's a bad one.

'Wow, this is harder then I thought', she pushes out through clenched teeth. The contraction is hitting her so hard. The feeling in her lower abdomen horrendous. Like her body is being ripped apart by this overwhelming pressure. 'Weren't you saying something about a C-Section? Sounds very tempting right now'

'Babe, you don't want a C-Section. You said it yourself, remember?', Daniel softly dabs with a wet towel over her forehead. Tries to stay as close to her as possible.

'Don't 'Babe' me right now. This is your fault', Betty snaps out in a short break between two contractions.

'Well, that's true, but to be fair, you wanted this just as much as I did', he strokes her cheek with the back of his hand and smiles lovingly at her.

'Yeah, well, you can say goodbye to any more kids. That much is true', her feisty Latina attitude shines more and more through with every passing contraction.

'We don't want to make any haste decisions, right?', Daniel's not sure if this is the pain and stress talking or if she's for real. Maybe it's better to make sure it's just the pain.

'Haste decisions? You're lucky if I let you near me again', pushing through the contraction, Betty slumps down. Head falls back against the pillow. She's done. She can't take anymore. This is downright torture. No one said that it would be this horrible. She would've planned a C-Section if she knew it would be like this. 'I can't..., this is too much...'

'Betty, you have to push', Dr. Lester says firm. If they don't get him out now, this could take a real nasty turn. 'Now'

'But it's so painful'

'I know, but this is the way of life, Betty. You have fun making a baby and then you have to push it out. Like a lemon through a hose', if she can count on one thing, it's on Dr. Lester being brutally honest. He always was and always will be. He's just no fan of sugarcoating. At least that's how he explained it to them.

'That's a fun mental image. Now I really want the C-Section', Betty calls out.

'Daniel, she has to push. He needs to come out now. His vitals are slowly dropping, which means he's in stress. Which is really bad. So work your charm. This is where you come in'

'Oh, ok, uhm, babe, you know that you don't want a C-Section. You said it over and over again. You were so sad when they said that it was a high possibility. Don't you remember? You wanted to deliver him naturally so bad', he sits down on the bedside, gently steadies her leg against his side. Cupping her cheek, he makes her look at him. Sees the pain and distress in her eyes. How discouraged she feels in this moment.

'I know and I still do, but you have no idea how painful this is'

'I know I don't. But what I do know is, that you are the strongest woman. If you can't do it, no one can', dabbing the sweat off of her forehead, he looks down into her eyes again. Sees a low simmering fire that usually burns so hot and bright. The passion he loves so much. And when a new contraction hits her again, he squeezes her hand reassuringly. 'You have to push, baby'

'Goooood, I hate this part', Betty pushes as hard as she can. Sees stars in front of her eyes and feels dizzy like hell. 'Hng...'

'And the heads out. That's great, Betty. Now two to three more pushes and you could hold your baby boy', being motivated by the prospect of having her son finally in her arms, Betty pushes through the next contractions like a pro. Tries to ignore the ripping feeling that constantly tells her to stop. The pressure that makes breathing incredibly hard.

And all of a sudden a loud scream fills the room. Their son is finally here. And Betty can breath again. It feels like a huge weight has been lifted off of her chest. And when Dr. Lester lays him down in Bettys arms, she can't believe her luck.

'Oh my god, Daniel, he looks just like you', the tears start to fall. Betty can't control it. She is so happy to have him finally here with them. The love she feels in this moment. It was so worth it. Every heartburn, every stabbing back pain and every contraction. It all led to this. And she wouldn't change a single thing. No, she would do it all over again. In a heartbeat. If it only means to have this gorgeous little guy in their life. The little soul they created.

And when he tries to open his eyes for the first time, he reveals a small glimpse of the most stunning blue eyes. She only ever saw eyes this blue once in her life. And they're starring full of awe and love right at her and their newborn son. 'Oh my, he has your eyes, too'

Daniel softly places a row of kisses against her forehead. Basks in this moment. He's a dad now. This miracle really just happened.

And while the midwife takes their baby boy and cleans him up, Dr. Lester checks Betty over one last time. Makes sure she's fine, before checking on their baby.

'I love you so much, Betty', he carefully sits down next to her and slings his arm around her shoulders. Pulling her into his incredibly warm side, he places a lingering kiss against her temple.

'I love you too', Betty sighs soft, slings her arm around his waist and pulls him even closer. The warmth he provides feels heavenly. She is so cold right now. The adrenaline is really kicking in. Makes her lightheaded and shakes her entire body. And the one anchor to reality in this moment is Daniel.

When Ben is wrapped up in a blanket, Dr. Lester takes him in his arms and brings him over to them.

'Betty, you did very well. This is a huge guy, that just popped out of you. So do me a favour and remember to take it slow. Your back will hate you for this. He will act up for sure. But when you do your practices again, you should feel better in no time. And your little guy here is as healthy as possible. There you go, mommy and daddy. Congratulations', Dr. Lester gently sets Ben down in Betty's arms and claps Daniel on the shoulder. 'If you need anything, don't be afraid to call for a nurse. We will leave you three to it for a little while. That way mommy and baby can recover. But you will be brought in your hospital room in about two hours. And I will definitely see you guys later'

And with that, the small family is finally alone.

Finally in their hospital room, Betty immediately fell asleep. She couldn't hold out any longer. And no one can blame her. She did so well. Was so strong. Daniel is in awe of her. Dr. Lester was right. Ben is a huge and heavy baby. And seeing him laying in his crib, next to Betty's sleeping figure. Yeah, Betty is tiny. Their son definitely takes after Daniel.

Their son. Wow, Daniel still can't believe it. He's really here. He feels like they waited for forever. And watching his son sleep peacefully, his old fear bubbles up again. What if he sucks at being a dad? He only knows his father. And he was only an example of how he never wants to be. He wants to be a dad like Ignacio. Loving, proud and encouraging. And he will try his best. He will definitely...

The small knock on the door wakes him out of his deep thoughts. And when he turns around, he sees Ignacio and his mom standing in the doorway. Silently looking around the corner, asking wordless for the permission to come in.

'Come in, but please try to be quite, Betty's sleeping', Daniel whispers, embraces his mother in a firm hug.

'Congratulations darling. I'm so happy for you', Claire softly cups his cheek. Sees the happy tears in his eyes.

'Thank you', giving Ignacio a small hug, he leads them to Bens little crib. Shows them their grandchild for the first time.

'Oh my, he's so big. How did she do it?'

'God, I have no idea. It was so hard for her. But she was incredible. You should've seen her mom. She was so strong', slinging his arm around his moms shoulders, he softly touches one of Bens chubby cheeks.

'He looks just like you, Daniel', Ignacio's bright smile is absolutely priceless.

'That's what Betty said'

'Yeah, he's probably going to be your little mini-me', Betty says tired. Pushes up on the bed to sit up.

'Mija', her dad rushes over to her and takes her into his arms. Embraces her for a long while. And cupping her cheeks, he takes a good look at her. 'How are you?'

'I'm good now'

'Please tell us his name. We're dying of anticipation. You were so secretive about it', Claire asks impatiently, while smiling adoringly down at her grandson.

Daniel carefully sits down next to Betty. Slings his arm around her shoulders and pulls her into his side. 'Do you want to say it?'

'No, it's alright. You can say it', Betty melts into his side and basks in his warmth again.

'Well, Ignacio, mom, meet Benedict William Meade'

'That's a beautiful name', Claire gushes, softly strokes her grandsons small hand.

'It's a strong name', Ignacio whispers, leaning over the crib and watches his second grandchild slowly open his eyes. Betty sees the wonder in Claire's eyes. This is her first grandchild. The first she will see grow up.

'Claire, why don't you pick him up? I'm sure he can't wait to meet his grandma', Betty settles comfortably back against Daniel's side and takes his hand in hers. Her head drops on his shoulder, her smile absolutely radiant.

'Oh my, you are a heavy little guy. And already so handsome. Just like your dad', picking him carefully up, she softly lays him in one arm, while rubbing one of his chubby cheeks. 'Tell me, Ben, how did your mom do it? I can't imagine how hard it must've been. Even your dad was not as heavy and big as you are'

Ben looks up at her with curious blue sparkling eyes. Stretches one hand up and grabs one of his grandma's blonde loose strikes that fall around her face. Ignacio looks over her shoulder and has the other chubby little hand wrapped around one of his long slim fingers.

'She doesn't know it herself', Betty sighs, smiling at the three.

'You were incredible. I don't know where you took the strength from', Daniel's arm around her shoulders tightens. Pulls her further into his body, while leaning down and kissing her gently.

'Mmmh, I had the best cheerleader', Betty softly whispers against his lips, before kissing him again and loosing herself for a few heady seconds in him.

'He has absolutely nothing from you, Mija'

'Is that a good or a bad thing, Papi?'

'I don't know yet', Ignacio looks questioningly down at Ben. Watches his curious eyes taking everything in. He is quite a noisy little guy. But that's a baby for you. It's going to be interesting. If he turns out to be just like Daniel. Or if he maybe inherits one or two personal traits from his mother. That wouldn't be too bad.

'Ay, Papi'

'Let's just hope he has your brains', Daniel says hopeful. Makes everyone chuckle, before Betty adds, 'And let's pray he doesn't inherit my teeth'

Claire motions for Ignacio to take Ben and softly lays him in his arms.

'Now tell me, Betty. How are you feeling', sitting down on the bedside, Claire takes Betty's hand and gently cups her cheek. Smiles lovingly at her.

'I'm beyond happy, that he's finally here. I'm ecstatic that I can go back to the way I was. Seeing my own feet, being able to bend down again. It's the small things you know? It's going to be so nice not having to run to the toilet every twenty to thirty minutes...', Betty's eyes slowly fill with unshed tears. And Claire can see that there is so much more to it.

'But...?'

'I don't know. It just feels so different. All of a sudden I'm alone. For ten months I had another human being inside of me. At all times. I carried him right under my heart. And now I feel empty, Claire. Like there's something missing. Which is irrational, because he's right there. It's so much better having him here with us. I know that. And it's not like I didn't want him here. Three hours ago, I was so impatient to finally hold him in my arms. But now my heart breaks a little. A huge part of me wants him back inside of me. That's where he belongs, you know?', the tears fall easily. She can't hold them back. And rubbing over her face, she feels stupid for feeling like that. This is how it's supposed to be. Of course you have to give birth. And of course she knew all that. She just didn't think that all of a sudden, she would feel like this. It's probably just the changing hormones talking. But still. Something doesn't sit right with her.

'Betty, this is normal. I felt the same way. And it's going to be like that for the first few weeks. You will miss him inside of you. Especially his movements. But also the kind of warmth it gave you. Knowing you have him right under your heart. But believe me, this feeling will fade. When the beautiful and sweet moments you will share as a family will add up to an uncountable amount, you will let go of it and be glad that he is here. I'm not gonna lie, there will be days, where you wish he will be back inside you, simply because it was safer. But that's life. It's not perfect. You're not perfect. You will make mistakes. He will fall or bump into something. He will scratch his knee or get a bruising from climbing. And that's ok. I made a lot of mistakes, Betty. But I do think that my kids turned out alright', Claire takes Betty into a firm hug. Rubs her over her back and tries to soothe her. Til the tears stopped and the sniffing subsided.

'Turned out alright? If that's not a shitty compliment, I don't know what is', Daniel says offended, but is still so thankful to his mother to be there for Betty. The last year was hard for her. So much happened that she wanted to share with her own mother. Their wedding, her being pregnant, the birth, her mother seeing her grandchild. It was hard. And she talked about it a lot. That she would like to pick her mothers brain. On all kinds of things. Like she said, it's the small things. What did her mom when she had morning sickness, what would she do against heart burn, does she have a homemade recipe against the constant queasiness?

He knows that Betty talked to his mother a lot about this too. And he's so glad that they have this kind of relationship. That she can always count on her. It's not ideal, but it means a lot to Betty. And it means a lot to him.

'Thank you, Claire', her small chuckle over Daniel's comment is light and airy. And when she settles back against Daniel's side and lays her head back on his shoulder, she's at peace. For now she can enjoy this and not overthink everything. And although it does feel like it right now. It is like Claire said. Life is not perfect. And it never will be.

But having Claire and her father here with them. Seeing both of them side by side and smile brightly down at their new grandchild? How they softly speak to Ben and rub his little chubby fists and cheeks? It's almost perfect. And she can enjoy this a lot. Because this is what she wanted. A life with Daniel. Kids, a family. Which not only includes their own children, but also their parents and siblings with their families. And as different as they may seem on the first look. Their families are already so deeply connected. In a way Daniel and Betty could've never predicted.

So their future doesn't look so bad. She may not know everything about having and raising a child. But she will have the best help there is. In not only Daniel, but also their families. She knows that they will always be there for them. And that's what matters in life. That's what being a family is all about. Being loved unconditionally. And they for sure are.

After four days in the hospital, Betty is so glad to be back home. Not only to have their own bed back or all her favourite comfy clothes. But she also couldn't wait to find their new normal. A new routine. And the best part is that Daniel stays home for six weeks. Oh it's absolutely glorious. They can be the family they always wanted to be.

The sadness sucks. It's not nearly as bad as it could've hit her. She doesn't feel lethargic or is only getting up, because she knows she has too. She's not just functioning. And she's so grateful. Because she knows that it could've been worse and that a lot of new moms are suffering greatly under postpartum depression. And thanks to Daniel she can deal with it so much better now. But to her it's still the worst thing in the world. She wanted Ben here with them so desperately. Always said to Daniel that she can't wait to finally see him. And now that he's here, she feels kind of sad. Although that doesn't even cover the mixture of feelings that are going round in her head. But the doctors and nurses gave her a few great tips. Things she could do to connect with him. And she does that. At least one to two hours a day Betty has Ben all to herself. She would have him on her chest. Skin to skin. Bonding in a totally new way. And she absolutely loves it. Loves to feel his fast short breaths against her skin and how his hands move over her collarbone or arms whenever he's moving in his sleep.

Usually Daniel would join them after an hour. Would just lay down beside them and watch them or rub soothingly over Bens back. They have the best hushed conversations like that. At least Betty thinks so. In those situations it is so easy to be open about anything. It's so intimate. That's why it's usually in those moments when she would let him in into her thoughts. How the sadness is messing with her mind. And talking about it, while she has not only Ben but also Daniel so close? It helps her so much. Because Daniel doesn't judge her. Doesn't tell her how irrational she's being. He tries to understand her as best as he could.

And Claire was right too. Over the last three weeks, Daniel and Betty had so many great little moments with Ben, that the dark thoughts are moving more and more into the back of her mind. They're not as present as before and she has even moments where she realizes that she hasn't thought about them at all.

And right now, laying on their bed with Ben on her chest and the softest blanket cocooning them, she unconsciously looks over to her watch. It's normally about this time that Daniel would stroll in, look at her with the most soft and loving smile and casually lays down beside her.

'Knock, Knock. You okay having company?', Daniel's head pops around the door frame.

'Of course, I was already waiting for you'

'I meant other company. You have a guest. If your up for it', his soft chuckle makes her heart skip a beat.

'Well, that depends. I was looking forward to have you here', she winks at him, sees a small blush creeping up his cheeks.

'You know how much I would love that. But Amanda is here. But only if you want to. She made me promise to tell you that it's your call', walking over to their bed, he gently sits down and cups Ben's head for a quick second. Softly brushes his hazelnut coloured hair out of his face to trace his chubby cheek with the pad of his finger.

'Oh wow, I would love to see her. Its been three weeks. I don't think I have seen one of our families ever since we came home'

'Yeah, everyone wanted to give us time to adjust. Especially you. You know how they are', he's still smiling at her and Ben.

'Yeah, our family is the best. Would you tell her to come upstairs? I don't want to cut my bonding time with Ben short'

'Sure, do you need anything else?'

'Yes...'

'What do you need?'

'We want a kiss and a quick cuddle. We're gonna miss you', the pout is absolutely adorable. And he can't say 'No' to that demand. So he leans down and places a quick kiss on Bens head before cupping Betty's cheek and giving her a lingering, passionate kiss. 'Mmmh, we're really gonna miss you. We love our family bonding time. It definitely is more therapeutic then anything else I do to kick this dumb mental-fart in the butt and out the door'

'Alright, I will tell her to come here. And tomorrow we're gonna have our bonding time, promise'

'I love you'

'Love you more', he says mischievously.

'Not possible', she sticks her tongue out and smiles wickedly at him.

'You pay for that, young lady', and with that he disappears into the hallway. And shortly after, she hears a set of soft footsteps. A gentle knock and the door opens to said woman.

'Hey Betty, Daniel said it was ok to come upstairs. He even gave me a few snacks and bottles of water', nodding at Amanda, Betty can't help the huge grin appearing on her face.

'Come in, I'm so happy to see you', Amanda walks straight over and sits down next to her.

'How are you?', Betty not only sees the concern on her face. No, she can hear Amanda's insecurities in her voice as well.

'I'm so much better. Don't be on tiptoes around me. Otherwise you open the floodgates and I won't be able to stop any time soon', Betty moves a few inches up the headboard, keeps Ben on her chest. But she can sling one arm around Amanda now. Pulls her down and places a reassuring kiss against her cheek.

'We're all glad, you know. We all thought you three could use some time alone. And Daniel keeps us up to date. So it's not as if we have no idea what's going on'

'Yeah, Daniel told me that. And you all were right. We really needed this time. I needed this time', Amanda watches Betty intently, almost penetrates her with her eyes. But then all of a sudden a mischievous smile stretches out over her face.

'Are you naked, Betty-licious?', she suggestively purrs. She will never change. Thank god, because Betty actually prefers it that way.

'No, only my shirt. The doctors and nurses said that it's important for me to connect with Ben. That being skin to skin is the easiest way for me to bond deeply with him. So that's what I'm doing every day. For at least one to two hours. Usually Daniel would join us during it, but today it's you'

'Oh, so I interrupt your family bonding time?', and now she looks so regretful. Way to go, Betty.

'No, it's ok. It's meant to be my bonding time with Ben, but one day Daniel came in to ask if I need anything. And I felt like he was missing. So ever since that day, Ben and I would be alone for an hour and then Daniel joins us for the second hour. I don't know what it is, but being like this with Ben, helps me to connect with my deepest thoughts and fears. Especially when it comes to the depression. And Daniel would just listen to me talk about them. Giving them a voice and finding a way to deal with them. It really helps. I think that's why I already feel so much better. I don't know what I would do without him', Ben chooses that moment to wake up and cry out. Sitting up Betty adjusts him in her arms, lets him latch on and winds the blanket around them. 'It's also when he usually would whine about not having sex', Betty snickers. Watches how Ben drinks almost ferociously, his hand laying soft against her breast.

'Wow, he's a strong little sucker, isn't he?', Amanda chuckles softly.

'Yeah, he is. So, tell me, what's new with you. I want to know everything'

'You know, Alexis and Adam are going to plan their wedding for next year. Probably for June or July. Here in New York. His family doesn't mind. They are very understanding and get that you don't want to fly to France with a one-year-old'

'That's great', Betty says a little too loud, startles Ben for only a quick second. But then he's back at sucking like nothing happened.

'Will you look at that? He didn't even blink', Amanda smiles fondly.

'Yeah, Claire told me that Daniel was just like that', adjusting Ben again, she lets him latch onto the other breast.

'He looks so much like Daniel. I feel like every time I see him he looks more and more like him'

'I know right? I can see him giving me the two thumbs up in no time. His first word 'No' and his second 'problemo'. The similarities are almost scary', Betty chuckles.

'I know what you mean, and his eyes are really incredible'

'Yeah, that's going to be my kryptonite. They're just like Daniel's. I can't possibly say 'No' to him. Daniel will have to lecture him for sure', placing a kiss against his temple, before she looks back up at Amanda. 'So next summer is Alexis wedding. When is yours?'

'Well, uhm...', Amanda looks down at her hands. Starts fidgeting with the cap of her water bottle.

'Hey, you okay?', Betty lays her hand softly on her knee. Gets her attention easily. Sees the confused and desperate look on her face. She simply shakes her head at Betty. She's at a loss for words. Betty never saw her like that. 'What's going on Amanda?'

'I just, uhm..., we haven't really talked about it, yet'

'Ok, so you still take your time. That's what you said, right? That your young and don't need to get married right away. That's ok'

'It's not just that...', Amanda looks at Betty. Shows her the deep confusion she carries around with herself for so long. This unlikely friendship is what Amanda needs right now. Knowing that she can confide in someone who can understand. And who will keep her problems and secrets to herself. She loves Marc. And he will always be her bestie in crime. But this..., this is something he will never understand. The gratitude she feels, for having Betty as a friend in her life is almost overwhelming her. In the best way possible.

'Tyler..., he wants to have a family. Seeing Daniel and you made him realize that that's exactly what he wants. Getting married, having kids, a family. Creating a life together, you know', Betty nods, doesn't want to interrupt her. It's hard enough for her to talk about it. Betty can see that. So she fixes her attention on Ben. Shows her that it's completely up to her. That Betty will be there for her. In whatever way she will need her to.

Amanda doesn't say a word. Just watches Betty closely. Sees the small smile and excited blush on her face. She is really beautiful. Especially when she's happy. She is a natural beautiful woman. She won't need any make up. She has incredible clean skin and good features. She personally would kill for her cheekbones. And ever since she and Daniel are together Betty looks even more beautiful. Did she change anything? Or is it her happiness that makes her so gorgeous? Maybe Daniel and Ben are the reason why she's so glowing. Is a baby doing that to you? She always wondered. Betty makes it look so easy. To love a child and take care of it. But is that really for her? She knows that Tyler wants a baby - ...someday. She's just not sure if she wants that. 'Can I ask you something, Betty?'

'Sure', Betty leans back against the headboard and looks curiously at Amanda.

'How did you know that you want all this? A family? A baby? How did you know that your made for this kind of life?'

'Oh, that's a hard question. When I had the pregnancy scare with Matt I was sure that I don't want to have a baby. It was the worst timing. I just became an Editor and felt like I'm just starting my career. I already felt kind of smothered by Matt and was so annoyed by him. And to top it off, I absolutely hate Victoria Hartley. I could've never had a decent relationship with the grandparents of our kid. And I would've hated that. And I knew that I would resent Matt in the long run. For putting my career to a hold. And then after a while I thought, maybe it just isn't in my lucky stars. Maybe it's not meant for me, you know? But when Daniel and I first started dating it just somehow changed. I could see myself with a kid. His kid. I desperately wanted this life. Becoming a family with him and our kids. Maybe it's about timing and the right partner', she adjusts Ben and softly pats his back. The burp is loud and sounds almost wet and makes them chuckle at him. 'Hey, could you give me my shirt? It should lay right next to you'

Laying Ben down on the bed between her legs, she takes the shirt from Amanda and puts it on. Leaning over to Daniels nightstand, she grabs Ben's body and onesie. Puts it easily on, before taking a bottle of water and a few crackers.

Ben looks curious around. Watches his aunt smile at him carefully. And when Amanda leans over and takes one of his chubby fists into her hand, he breaks out his most glorious smile. Melts her heart like ice in the sunshine.

Betty sees the awe written all over Amanda's face. The smile full of something she can't decipher. 'Why are you asking, Amanda?'

'I don't know if I want that. If I'm made for it', her smile looks more sad now. Makes Betty feel for her. This must be so difficult for Amanda. How can you plan a life with your partner, if you're not sure that you want the same?

'Four years ago, I couldn't see this kind of future for myself. And all this with Daniel? I mean talk about having delusions', Betty chuckles soft, while rubbing playfully over Ben's little belly. 'If someone would've told me, that we would be married and have a baby I would've laughed in their face', and turning around to Amanda, she can almost feel her pain. 'Amanda, I think you need to give yourself time. And if I would be you, I would talk to Tyler. Tell him how you feel'

'We sort of already talked about it. I told him, that I'm not sure about the whole baby stuff, you know?', her eyes never leave Ben, who grabbed the stuffed giraffe and is currently sucking on one of the antlers. 'I'm just worried. What if he chooses to leave me?'

'Then maybe it wasn't meant to be, Amanda', leaning forward, Bettty places her hand on Amanda's shoulder. Gets her attention. 'Are you okay?'

'I don't know. There's a lot going on in my mind, you know?', Amanda keeps staring at Ben.

'I think you need some cuddle time with this little gentleman', Betty picks Ben up and holds him out, wants to give him to Amanda.

'What...? No, I don't want to break him', she's wagging her hands back and forth, laughs awkwardly.

'You can't break him. And he would love to meet his fabulous aunt Amanda', Betty watches Amanda take Ben into her arms like he's a raw egg. As if he could break any second. 'Relax, he's really easy going. He's almost always satisfied. He only cries when he's hungry or wants to be hold. Daniel and I like to lay him in his playpen downstairs and just watch him. But he doesn't like that. He wants to be hold by one of us. Don't get me wrong, we're not complaining, we love it. But sometimes I would like for him to give me time alone with daddy too'

Leaning forward, Betty boops Ben on the nose and makes him laugh brilliantly. He's already such an affectionate little guy. It's something she always hoped. Daniel is affectionate, sure. But not as much as Betty is. So maybe this is something he inherits from her.

'Oh wow, he's so cute', there's the look of pure awe again. Maybe what she needs is not time. Maybe she needs to feel. What it's like to have a little baby not only in your arms and always around you. But how giving they are. Not with presents, but with something so much better. Unconditional love and a multitude of affection. 'And heavy'

'You two look comfortable together', Betty says softly smiling at her.

'You know, I actually think we are', Amanda says thoughtful. And has to admit, that this doesn't feel so weird. Or bad. She could get used to this. To have a little cuddle buddy depending on her. Maybe not next year, but in a few years.

'You know, I thought about it. And I think next time I want get pregnant in November', she's breast feeding Ben, while Daniel's in the kitchen preparing lunch. Sees his face pop up and look at her questioningly.

'Explanation, please?', this comes out of nowhere. She's not even fully recovered from this pregnancy and is already talking about the next.

'Think about it, babe. It's the perfect time. The holidays are just around the corner and we're gonna see a bunch of friends and family. And I'm gonna be in the first trimester and everyone's gonna be happy for us. And because of the endorphins everyone's gonna give me an extra serving because I'm pregnant. If they run out of cake, I could be like 'Sorry, can I have that bite?'. And they won't be able to say 'No' to me, because I'm pregnant', he turns off the oven and gets two plates. Shaking his head amused at her.

'Uh, and around springtime, I'm gonna be in my second trimester, which is like perfect weather. Because it won't be too hot or too cold. And I could still travel and do whatever I feel like doing. And then summer, boom, the bump is out. And no one will care. Automatically I will be adorable, because I'm PREGNANT. I can eat as much as I want. I can look like a beluga whale and I'm still gonna be what...?', she nods excited at him. '...right, ADORABLE. I could just skip an entire summer of exercise. And when that baby will pop out of me it's already near fall time and I get to hide and heal my broken postpartum body under the comfort of many layers. Think about it. It's the perfect time to be pregnant', she picks Ben up and softly pats his back to coax a burp out of him.

'Ok, despite you literally just giving birth five weeks ago, are you really telling me, that you would be ready for a second pregnancy? In about four to five moths?', taking the plates and napkins, Daniel slowly walks over. Places a small kiss against Bens forehead, before sitting down at the dining table.

'Maybe not right this second but we definitely want to have a second baby, right? So why wait a few years? Wouldn't it be great for them to be as close together as possible? Age wise?', watching his every move, she admires his strong arms. How absolutely delicious his muscles flex with every single move. The way his sweats and T-Shirt hug him in all the right places. And the last five weeks he seems to thrive under their messy new routine. He loves every single thing about this. He would change every single diaper if she would let him. Ben moves one finger and he's on his feet, ready to do whatever's needed. It's absolutely adorable and she lets him. Cause in one week, he needs to go back to work, while she has the very fortunate and comfortable opportunity to stay at home and take care of their son.

Shaking her head, she wakes up out of her little stupor and softly puts Ben down into his little playpen.

'I know what you mean. Ben will be young enough to not resent his sibling. Not like Alex. Have I ever told you how he tried to sell me off?', he watches her sit down next to him. Sees her carefree, happy little smile. The last weeks were tough for her. Postpartum depression is nothing to joke about. And he's glad that she's comfortable enough to share everything with him. And seeing her so sad, while he is beyond elated was hard. He always felt like he's rubbing it in. At least until she told him to stop it.

Flashback

He could watch Ben all day. And right now, he can't seem to take his eyes away from his small sleeping form. It's still a miracle to him. To have him here with them. The life they created. Well, Betty really. His part was very little. But to see him in his playpen? How his eyes twitch from time to time in his sleep. Showing that he must have some vivid dream. How his small hands once in a while form a cute fist and the way he yawns is just too adorable. The perfect shaped 'o' his mouth forms reminds him of Betty. Even though she claims that Ben looks more and more like him.

'Will you stop it?'

'Huh?', shit, he tries to be subtle. Really. But he's so happy. He can barely contain it. Though knowing how much Betty is struggling right now, he tries to be as considerate as possible. Tries to lay low and be as nonchalant about everything.

'Be happy, babe. When you feel the need to contain yourself around Ben, I only feel worse. It's not helping. I want you to be as happy as you can. Enjoy every little moment. And if you want to watch him sleep, than for crying out loud, do that. Seeing you two together is the best medicine for me. Believe me, I love nothing more then to see you so in awe of him. So stop it. Stop acting like you don't care. Like I'm gonna break any second if you do', she looms over him, hands on her hips, voice hushed. As fed up as she might be with his behaviour, that's no reason to wake Ben up.

'Sorry, I thought it would be harder for you. To see how easy it is for me to be happy about him being here. While you miss having him as close to you as humanly possible'

'You're incorrigible. Did you already forget what your mom said? That building memories together will be the best way for me to get over it? Having you both close?', she softly sits down in his lap and slings her arms around his neck. 'And it's not as if I'm not happy about having him here. I'm just also a little sad of not having him as close as before. But I'll manage, I promise. I already feel so much better then three weeks ago. Having you home with me is such a huge help. And I love you both so much'

Wrapping his arms around her waist, he pulls her further into his body. Feels her snuggle back against his chest and tighten her grip around his neck.

'I'm sorry. I was just trying to be as supportive as I can be'

'I know and you are. I don't know what I would do without you. But that doesn't mean that you're not allowed to be happy'

'I am happy. Just because I'm not saying or showing it, doesn't mean I'm not'

'I know, but I see how much you try to keep it to yourself. And it pains me. I love you so much. And I love Ben. And I want you to enjoy this limited time you have with him. In three weeks you have to go back to work and you're not going to be able to see him all day. You understand me, right? You're not hurting me. Showing how happy you are and how much you love us, helps me heal', she places a soft kiss under his jaw. Enjoys the soft moan under his breath.

'I didn't think about it like that'

'I know. I realized that much', drawing little patterns with the tip of her nose against his cheek, she smiles mischievously at him. 'And by the way. Have I told you how hot you are? I love watching you with Ben. It turns me so on seeing you take care of him. You are a wonderful father, babe'

'Stop it, that's just mean. It's three months. And we still have to wait for another two to three weeks', her hands effectively distract him from watching Ben sleep. She's an incredible tease. Always keeps him on his toes to keep up with her.

'I'm just stating the truth. But really, you have nothing to be worried about. The way you are with Ben..., your gonna be incredible. I knew there was a reason why I married you'

'You mean, because you were already pregnant?'

'I mean, because I knew, that there was only one man who's baby's I want to have. The perfect guy for me. And the best father to our children', sensually nibbling on his earlobe, she hears his sharp breath.

'Ok, that's it, you go into the naughty corner. Tempting me like that, while knowing that we can't do anything. Come on, hop off, I need to stand up'

Laughing she stands up and gets herself a glass of water.

Flashback end

'You did, and Hilda tried the same thing. She didn't want me around', she takes a bite and relishes the rich cheesy taste. 'Oh my god, babe, this is so good'

'Thank you', they eat in silence for a little while. Daniel keeps observing her, still sees the little smile. The one she almost always carried around. Ever since he met her. She just always seemed happy, positive and fun. Of course when he got to know her better, he realized that a lot of the times it wasn't like that at all. She simply portrayed it. But over the years, he got to know her so well, that he could tell the difference. And this smile? It's genuine and honest. She's doing so much better. 'You look happy'

'I am happy', she smiles toothily up at him, while popping a small piece of crust into her mouth.

'No, I mean you...', laying her hand on his she shuts him up. Smiles warmly at him now.

'I know, what you meant. And I feel like I'm almost back to my normal mental state'

'So when I ask you, if you talking about a second pregnancy has anything to do with your depression, your not going to take it personal?'

'Huh? How do you mean that?'

'Well, you know, is the depression telling you to get pregnant again, so you won't feel empty anymore?', he says this very carefully. It's not an easy topic. She lets him in on everything. But he fears to say something that hurts her even more. Especially because she keeps saying that she knows how irrational her mind is being. He doesn't want her to fall a few steps behind again.

'That's a really good point, you know? I haven't thought about it like that. And I think a small part of me is going 'Shit, shit, shit, is that all it is?'. But a huge part says 'No, it's not about that'. The last five weeks, thanks to you I made a big turn and like I said, I feel almost like my normal self again. I think this is me enjoying life and making plans for our future'

'Ok, and you really want to get pregnant again? So soon? Do you remember how hard it was on you? The last three months? How hard the birth was for you? I thought for sure that you would've wait at least a year, before we start talking about it again'

'I know, but will you look at him? He's the most adorable little guy I've ever seen. He was so worth it. And I would do it all over again. In a heartbeat'

'Wow, it's really true what they say, huh?'

'What?'

'That women forget how painful the birth was. Because if I were you? I wouldn't dream of doing that all over again. I would probably give you hell for putting me through that and never have sex again', her small amused smile is absolutely radiant.

'Yeah, I was contemplating never letting you near me again. But I just can't help it. I like you too much', her hand lays softly on his arm, slowly leans over to him.

'Lucky me', softly whispering, he leans over and closes the gap between them. Kisses her hot and searching.

'Does that mean your on board with my idea?'

'It means, that I'm open to your idea. That it's your call to make. When you think your ready for a second pregnancy, then who am I to deny you one of my babies?', cupping her cheek he sees the sparkly glint in her eyes. 'But...'

'I knew it'

'I think we should table this conversation off for maybe three months. I don't think we're gonna have a problem to get pregnant again, so maybe we should think about it further and talk about it again in September. See if we still think it will be a good idea to bring another baby into this mix', he places a soft, lingering kiss against her temple. Rubs her upper arm soothingly.

'I like that idea', pulling him closer, she puts their foreheads together. Breaths in all that is purely Daniel.

'Have I told you how glad I am that you have your check up with Dr. Lester today?'

'Mmmh, me too'

'Yeah...', cupping her neck, he kisses her again. Deepens the kiss further and softly pulls her closer to him. His fingers tangled up in her soft curls. And in exactly that moment, Ben decided that enough is enough. He wants their attention back. He's done laying in his playpen. He wants to be hold and entertained by one of them. So he cries out and signals his parents to cut it out.

'Mmmh...', shaking her head, Betty smiles dreamily at Daniel. 'You take him, I'll clean up the kitchen. I need to get ready anyways'

And with that, she takes their plates and washes away the crumbs of an uncertain future. Life seems to hold so much more for them. And they are so on the same page. It doesn't matter when or where. Though she's pretty set on the idea to have a second baby as fast as possible. And she still wants to have her baby girl. So who knows what the future will provide for them. Right now, they will enjoy seeing Ben grow up. Everything else they can figure out along the way.