AN: Graphic torture and SA
You awaken to the feeling of cold water being poured on your face, some of it making its way down your throat causing you to splutter and your lungs to burn. You gasp for breath and whimper, it's dark in this room and you have no idea where you are. You try and move your body but quickly realise that you are handcuffed to a bed, you kick your legs out and scream loudly.
"Let me gooooo!" You scream anxiously, your eyes darting around the room and locking onto the figure next to you. It took a while for you to recognise him as the room was still dark but eventually you do, it's the serial rapist that you and the Squad have been hunting for the last couple of weeks. You let out a small whimper as he pulls you up into a seated position and grabs your face hard with his hand.
"Look Detective! You're on camera... shall we give your friends at NYPD another show?" He smirks at you and your heart drops to your stomach; what does he mean another show?! You glance down at yourself and see the bruises, cuts and abrasions on your body that suddenly begin to throb when you realise that they're there. You bite your lip and try to keep calm, you feel so stupid! Why had you decided to split up with Fin and search the abandoned house on your own? It had only taken a few minutes but he had bested you by putting a cloth soaked with chloroform over your moth and rendering you unconscious. Now here you were... tied to a bed, no idea of how much time had passed and stuck with a serial rapist who had done horrific things to the women that he'd abducted. You're terrified out of your mind; you're only 25 years old, you're not ready to die... not like this!
He approaches the web cam and switches it on so that it's live, waiting for it to connect. Your breathing becomes harsher when you see your friends on the laptop screen, oh God... he's going to do something awful to you and they're going to have to watch!
"Hello Detectives... I've got Y/N with me! We've been having lots of fun, haven't we?" He ran his hands up and down your body and you close your eyes, wishing it away. You let out a sob and a hiccup, especially when you hear Olivia's voice through the computer.
"You sick son of a bitch! We will find you... I will kill you for this! If you touch her again I will..." Olivia stops talking and you can see why; he approaches you with a large bottle of vodka in his hands and he opens it, all you can think is how traumatic this must be for Olivia after everything she went through with William Lewis.
"Open wide Y/N!" He snarls and you keep your mouth closed and clench your jaw shut. You're not going to make this easy for him, you're not going to give him the satisfaction of begging and you're certainly not going to cry in front of him. He slaps you hard across the face and you don't flinch, staring up at him numbly.
"Drink it!" He growled and forced your mouth open, shoving the vodka down your throat while you choke and gag, biting your lip to stop yourself from crying. He begins to stroke your breasts and you pull away angrily, looking over his shoulder and at the laptop.
"I'm sorry... Liv I'm sorry!" You cry out and you can see that Olivia is staring incredulously through the screen, almost like she wants to shake some sense into you for apologising for something that is obviously not your fault! She coos to you over the screen, soothing you whilst you tremble and throw up from the amount of vodka he's given you. You stare at him defiantly and spit in his face.
"Fuck you! Fuck you, you prick!" You snarl and you knew from the moment you had said it that it had been a really stupid decision! The look in his eyes made you shiver and that smirk on his face... it was going to haunt your dreams. You clench your hands into fists as he rips your t-shirt from your body, exposing you to your friends... no, they're not just your friends; they're your family! You can hear the way they are screaming at him to stop but you can't verbalise it because your body has completely shut down. The only thing you can manage is a pathetic whimper and you laugh bitterly; so much for not begging!
"Please don't hurt me again..." You sniffle anxiously and clench your fists again when he pushes you down on the bed, keeping you at an angle so that they can see you too. He's not just torturing you, he's torturing them as well... letting them know that they are too late to save you from being violated. You can hear the panic from Fin and Carisi as they try to track where you're being held but you know that it's no use; he'd obviously made himself untraceable in some way! He was smart, cunning and had been at this a long time... he knew what he was doing. He bites your neck and you turn your head away so that you're facing the computer screen, you just want to feel safe and looking at your surrogate family is helping somewhat.
"Just think of all the fun we're going to have! Stop playing hard to get, Detective Y/N... we all know that you want it!" He mocks you and you feel sick and disgusting, the smell of his cheap aftershave is clinging to your skin and making you want to rip your skin off. He bites your breasts and stomach, making you cry out and beg for him to stop... you plead with him, bargain with him and even joke with him! Anything that you can think of to make him stop. He rips your pants off and tears your panties in half, that's when it hits you that this is really happening and you close your eyes for a few seconds; you want to be anywhere else but here... you think of Fin, Carisi, Amanda, Nick and Elliot but most importantly, you think about Olivia. You think about how she's going to feel watching you get violated in this way, you think about how much you just want one of her huge cuddles and for her to tell you that you're safe and loved.
"Please don't... please stop!" You cry out, especially when you feel his arousal poking your private area. You let out an earth shattering scream when he shoved himself inside of you, you're so panic stricken that you can't hear Olivia screaming through the computer at him.
"Get the fuck off of her! We're gonna find you... I'm going to kill you, how dare you touch my baby!" Olivia growls and he takes perverse pleasure in getting her angry, so he shoves into you even rougher. You cry and scream for him to stop, you beg for help... help that you know won't arrive in time because it's happening right now. He's hurting you so bad and you're powerless to stop it! He wraps his hand around your throat as he slams into you and at this point you don't care if you live or die; it hurts too much... you want Liv! You just want the closest person that you have to a Mom... you don't know whether she knows how much she's done for you and at this point, you don't know what the endgame is... so you look at the screen as tears fall down your face, you need her to know how much she means to you just in case you don't make it out.
"Liv... Mama, I love you! I love you... so much! I'm sorry, I'm sorry for all the times that I screwed up and didn't listen... like this time! I should've listened to Fin... my stubbornness got me into this situation... ouch!" You weep pitifully when he moves roughly inside of you and finishes with a loud groan, you're so numb now that you're catatonic and you miss what Olivia is saying to you.
"Y/N... sweet girl, don't ever apologise! I'm coming baby, Mommy's coming... I love you! I love you" She yells and that's the last thing that you hear because he turns the laptop off, satisfied because he knows that he's broken your will and spirit. He knows that he's done the worst thing that he could ever do to you. He ties you tighter to the bed, leaving you naked and exposed... unaware that they have your location and are coming to get you.
"NYPD!! H/N you're under arrest!" You hear Fin yell and you startle, trying desperately to cover up. He makes a run for it and Fin, Nick, Amanda and Carisi chase after him... no way are they letting him get away after everything that he's done to you! You whimper and hiccup anxiously, trying to untie yourself from the bed frame.
"Y/N..." You hear Olivia coo and your face crumples when you see your safe place come towards you and bend down so that she's at your level. She strokes your hair back from your face and uses her own handcuff keys to untie you from the bed, she wraps you in a blanket to keep you covered up and you launch yourself at her, you're completely terrified.
"I've got you... I've got you! You're safe now, sweetheart... I'm here, that's right honey! Mama's here... I know sweet girl... I know! Mommy knows!" She picks you up into her arms and holds you tight, allowing you to scream and sob on her shoulder. You hide in her arms when you feel everyone else's eyes on you; you know they don't mean to frighten you and that they are worried about you but it's still so scary and Olivia picks up on it.
"Guys, I understand how worried you all are but back up! You're terrifying her... Y/N has just spent the last 3 days in hell, all of you gawping at her is not helping... just give her some space!" She said firmly but not unkindly; she knew that they were worried sick over you. She carried you over to her car and put you in, getting you buckled up and helping you to take a few sips of water which helped get rid of the horrible taste in your mouth.
"I just... I just want to go home with you!" You sob anxiously like a child and Olivia can tell that you're regressing back to a childlike state and she doesn't blame you; she knows that you need to feel safe and secure. She starts to drive off, keeping one eye on you and one on the road... she also holds onto your hand which you grasp tight.
"I know, baby. I know.. I'm taking you to the hospital and we are going to get you checked out. I know you hate the hospital, little one but this is non negotiable. Hopefully you will be able to come back to mine tonight... if not then I'm staying in that hospital room with you ok? I'm not leaving..." Olivia soothes you and you gasp for breath, you're so frightened and she rubs soothing circles on the back of your hand.
"You promise? You won't leave me... not even once?" You let out a sob and Olivia pulls up into the hospital car park and gets you out gently. She scoops you up and whispers sweet nothings when you cry out in pain, it breaks her heart but she knows that you can't walk.
"Not even once, my sweet girl. I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere! Come on, I spoke to Jess and she knows that we're coming! She's got us a room already..." Olivia whispered in your ear, it certainly helped to have friends that were nurses and doctors who could pull in favours when you needed them too.
"Olivia!" You flinch at the sudden noise and she comforts you by rubbing your back. She takes you in the direction of the noise and you relax slightly when you see who it was, it's only Jess! You know her from all the cases that you've worked on together and you like her; she's kind, funny and a great doctor. She sends an apologetic glance to both you and Olivia, ushering you through the side door so that you don't get stared at.
"Thanks for doing this Jess! I really appreciate it..." Olivia says gratefully and takes you into the room that Jess goes into and tries to put you on the bed. You freak out and cling to her tightly, you don't want to be out of her sight and Jess gently gestures for Olivia to sit on the bed, you tucked up on her lap and safe in her arms.
"Liv... Y/N I can do most of my examinations like this. However, I will need to do your pelvic examination with you on the bed Y/N... But Olivia can be right next to you and she can hold your hand the whole time!" Jess spoke soothingly and got out all the creams, ointments, medications and antibacterial wipes that she would need.
"I want Mommy..." You weep anxiously and it takes a couple of minutes for Jess to realise that you're talking about Olivia. A small smile forms on her face when she sees how good Olivia is with you, the way she kisses your cheeks and forehead and whispers sweet nothings to you.
"I'm here! That's it sweetie, Mommy's got you!" She cooed and gently spoke to you and cradled you in her arms whilst Jess checked every bruise, cut, bite mark and even checked the marks on your wrists. She had winced sympathetically cleaning, bandaging and putting ointment on every injury that needed it which was a lot. She had checked your eyes and head, finding nothing worrying which was a good sign and then came the hard part.
"Y/N I just need to examine between your legs, love. It's ok! Olivia will be right there to hold your hand and it'll be over in less than 5 minutes ok? You're safe here... no one will hurt you!" Jess had spoken soothingly whilst Olivia laid you down, stroking your hair with one hand and holding your hand with the other.
"It hurts Mama..." You whimper whilst Jess is examining you, visibly wincing when she looks at what he's done to you! She's so angry and it makes her want to throw up. Olivia stroked your hair and kisses your head, keeping you calm and making you feel safe.
"I know baby, you're being so brave! I'm right here... that's it honey! Hold onto my hand... that's it little one!" She cooed and nuzzled your nose with hers, speaking gently and lovingly until Jess is finished. You take that as your chance to quickly climb onto Olivia's lap, gripping her tight whilst she tries to soothe you.
"Careful honey, gently. You're injured very badly sweetie! I'm here and I'm not leaving you..." Olivia soothed you as you sobbed, you're so frightened and overwhelmed.
"I think it would do Y/N more harm than good staying here, just keep an eye on her and if she gets worse then come back in. I'm going to prescribe some ointments and very strong painkillers... please make sure she takes them! I'm going to get her the morning after pill and the other stand STD pills and HIV prevention meds... then you can take her home!" Jess said softly, only talking to Olivia as you had zoned out and wanted nothing to do with this conversation. Olivia nodded and smiled softly at Jess who'd been nothing but kind and showed so much compassion to the both of you.
"Thank you so much, you've made a traumatising experience a little easier!" Olivia said softly and kept you snuggled in her arms, prompting you to take the pills that Jess had offered you and getting you signed out. Jess also led you both out of the side door again so that you wouldn't be stared at.
"Come on, sweetheart! Let's get you home. You're staying with me..." She soothed and got you into the car, driving you both back to where you'd be safe from harm.
It was three hours later and in that time Olivia had put you into a warm bath, helping you to wash your hair and feel clean again. Every time she looked at your body and saw those injuries it made her livid! She washed the conditioner out of your hair and squeezed the excess water out.
"Are you ready to get out of the bath now?" She spoke gently to you and you shrug your shoulders; truthfully you're not sure! You feel clean when you're in the bath and the hot water is soothing your bruises, especially the ones between your legs. Olivia senses your dilemma and picks you up out of the bath, wrapping you in a warm towel and hugging you tight. You cling to her so tight that your knuckles turn white and you sob against her, you just want to feel safe and secure all the time.
"I'm here... let's get you dried off and dressed. Let Mama take care of you ok? Let Mommy take some of the burden away... that's it, sweet girl! Let's get you changed..." She cooed and put you in the softest pair of pyjamas that she had and began to brush and dry your hair, you feel safe like this and you curl into her. You don't want her to ever leave you again...
"I'm going to make you some Mac and cheese ok? You haven't eaten for three days, sweetie and you need to eat to heal your body! Come on, it's ok just try your best..." She picked you up and carried you to the kitchen, she supported your weight with one arm until she could sit you on the counter as though you're a child. You watch over her as she cooks you both some dinner, spooning huge portions of the cheesy pasta onto both of your plates. The front door unlocks and you flinch, nearly knocking the bowls to the ground. Olivia calms you by stroking your hair and you calm down when you see that it's just Elliot. He sent an apologetic glance to both of you, he knew it had been thoughtless to just barge in so loudly after everything you'd been through.
"Elliot!!" Olivia hissed after getting you calm and carried you through to the lounge whilst Elliot took all the bowls through after making sure he had a portion too! He sat down where you could see him and you smiled slightly; it was such a thoughtful and kind thing for him to do and you didn't feel as frightened of him as you thought.
"Eat up darling! It's ok..." Olivia soothed whilst you picked at the pasta, taking small bites and looking at Olivia and Elliot for approval. It was breaking their heart, after the trauma you had experienced it was like you had regressed back to a child. They both kept encouraging you until you were finished, Olivia allowing you to climb onto her lap and cuddle with her. She rocked you back and forth whilst you clung to her, pressing soothing kisses to your head which was keeping you calm. It also helped that the painkillers had set in so that your injuries didn't hurt anywhere near as badly as they had before.
"Mama can I sleep in your bed with you and Dad?" You mumble and it makes Elliot tear up; he had always loved you like his own! You had reminded him of his own daughters and now especially... he just wanted to help keep you safe.
"Of course you can, sweetheart! Let's get you into bed, you must be exhausted after everything you've been through! Would it be ok if Dad took you into bed? I just need to use the toilet!" She spoke soothingly and you nodded, holding you arms out to Elliot and he picked you up so gently and made you feel so safe that you burst into sobs.
"He hurt me Daddy!" You wept and he took you through to the bedroom, laying you in the middle and climbing in on one side. He cradled you to his chest and let you cling to him, he whispered soothing words and sweet nothings to you.
"I know baby, I know. I'm so sorry that this happened to you... Daddy's got you, that's it my love! Daddy's here..." he soothed softly and calmed you down until you fell asleep, safe in the arms of the only man who felt safe to you right now. Olivia came through and smiled indulgently, climbing in on the other side she leaned over you so that she could kiss Elliot.
"So, how did it go with that prick?" She whispered and rubbed soothing circles on your back whilst you slept, you felt safe when they were by your side. Elliot cringed slightly, unsure whether it was good news or bad news.
"Well let's just say he had a lot of accidents on the way..." he said quietly, an impish grin forming on his face and Olivia's too. Good! She couldn't wait to make his life a misery after everything he had done. They both comforted you the whole night and kept you safe, even when you cried out from the flashbacks that were haunting your dreams.
"You're going to be just fine, sweetie! Mommy and Daddy will make sure of it... go back to sleep, darling! You're safe now!" Olivia had cooed after a particularly bad flashback and you knew that with their love and support you could get through this.