Tricky Measures Chapter 17, a ncis: los angeles fanfic

Chapter 17—She's My Mama 2

Nikolai got up, got dressed, and then stopped in the bathroom on the way to his parents' room. He opened the door, and used his knees to get up onto the bed, not noticing that they were both sound asleep. He wanted to hug his mother, so he climbed right over his father, and landed squarely on his mother's chest. She yelped.

Callen woke up immediately. "What's wrong, baby?" he asked, his voice full of concern.

Half-amused, she replied, "A monster is on me, I think." She lifted Nikolai into the air. "Baby, you need to get off me, please." She put him down, away from her, and then sat up. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing, Mama," he said. "I just wanted to hug you." He stood there, between his parents, looking sad.

She put her arms out and he went right to her. He wrapped his arms around her neck.

"I'm sorry, baby," she said, hugging him tightly. "I didn't know you were here until you squished me."

Callen smirked. "He smushed me, too," he said, taking the little boy from her. He stood Nikolai on his belly, and then let go.

"Papa! What are you doing?" asked the shocked mother.

"Nothing. We have a flying dinosaur here," said the silly father.

"No, Papa! Mama said I'm a monster!" Nikolai contradicted.

Both parents laughed.

Callen put Nikolai down, and then sat up so he could cuddle his little boy. Then he began to bump him up and down.

"Me! Me!"

"Oh, no," Callen answered. "You need to wait, baby!" He bumped Nikolai one more time before he lifted him off his abdomen.

The little boy watched his father as he juggled his mother onto his lap.

"Papa! What are you doing?"

With a huge grin on his face, he bumped Anna into the air, and caught her as she landed on his lap. Then he hugged her.

"No more," said the exhausted father.

Smirking and smiling, Anna held out her arms, and the littlest monster floated into her arms, where she hugged him closely. Then her stomach growled, causing both of her boys to laugh.

Callen tapped her, and she slid off his lap. He got off the bed, and then kissed them both.

"After I get pulled together, I'm going to start lunch. Is there anything you'd like today, bat baby?"

"Thin sandwiches for me. Do regular ones for everyone else."

He frowned. "Are you okay?"

"Over-hungry."

"Got it." He took an armload of clothes into the bathroom, and shut the door.

Nikolai sat on Anna. "Mama, where's your pajamas?" He patted her bare breast.

She tried to bite back a smile. "On the floor by the bed."

He flattened himself, and then leaned on her, peering over the edge of the bed. Then he looked at her.

"Mama, why are they down there?"

Anna wasn't sure she liked being busted by a four-year-old. "I didn't want to wear them."

"How come?"

"Dammit, Nikolai!" she swore. "They made me hot and sweaty!"

From behind the closed bathroom door, Callen burst out laughing.

The little boy put his hands on her mouth. "Mama, you're not allowed to say bad words!"

At that point, she removed her son's hands from her face, and burst out laughing, and Callen joined her. He put the little boy on the floor, and leaned over to pick up all of the pajama parts.

The sharp-eyed little boy realized what his father was doing, and busted him, too.

"Papa, I think you and Mama should wear your pajamas all day long, even if you're hot and sweaty!" Nikolai declared.

"Oh, boy," said Callen. He looked directly at Anna. "You know we need to do this."

She nodded. "Oh, yes," she replied, shaking her head. A smirk forced itself across her face.

Nikolai didn't back down. "Papa, you gots to put your pajamas here," he said, pointing to the bed.

"Why?" said Callen.

"Because I said so!"

Anna laughed hard. "I swear I'll never say that again!" she vowed.

Hastily, Callen draped all four parts to their pajamas on the bed, leaving space between each piece.

Nikolai had no trouble picking up each piece. He studied the patterns on each piece, and realized that the flowers were his mother's. He called her over.

She sat on the bed while he helped her put on her top. Then Nikolai handed her the pants, which she put on by herself. Callen snickered.

All of a sudden, it was Callen's turn. Nikolai picked up his father's pants, and Callen snatched them from him. He put one leg in and then Nikolai stopped him.

"You gots like me?" He pushed his pants down to his knees. "Look, Papa!"

"I guess I do!" Callen gasped, stuffing his other leg into his pajama pants. He pulled them up as quickly as he could, and then tucked in the shirt.

"Can we go downstairs, please?" Anna asked.

"Okay, but you gots to wear your pajamas all day."

"We got it, Nikolai," Callen responded. "We'll be down in a minute."

"Okay, Papa!" Nikolai shouted as he ran out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

"What just happened?"

"I don't know, Anna," Callen gasped as he began to laugh. He collapsed on his bed, and Anna joined him.

They couldn't stop laughing at their predicament, and gave in to the humor of it all. After a while, they managed to stop laughing, and pulled themselves together. They washed their faces and hands, and made sure they were both neat and proper, including actual underwear, before they joined their family downstairs.

When the big girls saw them, they both burst out laughing. Here it was…the middle of the day, and both of their parents were still wearing their pajamas.

"Oh, man," said Kira. "How come—"

"That's enough, Kira Lynn," replied her mother. "Why don't you help Papa fix the sandwiches while Raisa and Nikolai set the table?"

"Do we have to?" whined Raisa.

"Six," said her mother, much to the amusement of her sisters.

Raisa sagged visibly, and followed Nikolai to the kitchen.

"Mama, is she really going to be grounded for six days?" Anya asked.

"Don't worry about it," said her mother. "You just stay out of trouble, okay?"

"Yes, Mama."

"Callen, I think we need to check my side," Anna mumbled during their family movie.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't know," she whined in return.

"Oh, boy," Callen replied. "Hey, guys, get up a minute, will you please?"

"What's wrong, Papa?" Anya asked.

"I don't know, baby, but Mama wants me to check her staples."

"Okay," Anya said. All four kids got up, and Callen helped Anna stretch out on the couch.

"Papa, can we see her staples today?" asked Raisa.

"I don't see why not," said her father. He looked at Anna. "You game?"

"It's okay," Anna said softly.

She curled up in a ball and pulled her shirt up, leaving the staples exposed.

"Guys, back up!" Callen cautioned. He put his hand over the wound and was satisfied that there was no heat emitting from it.

"Me first!" said Raisa.

Callen gave her the Eye. "You're going upstairs?"

"Oh, no, Papa!" she replied.

"Then back off, Raisa," he cautioned.

"Papa, can we feel the staples?" Anya asked.

"I don't know, baby. That depends on Mama." He put his arm around her, keeping her at bay. "Gently, baby."

Anya nodded. "They feel kind of funny."

Her father agreed, and then released her. "Nikolai, you're next. Go slow and soft, okay, baby?"

"Yes, Papa." Callen picked him up and floated him over his mother. Very slowly, he put out his hand to touch the staples. As soon as he felt them, Nikolai backed off. "Papa, I can't."

Callen gave him a hug. "It's okay, Nikolai. Why don't you give Mama a kiss instead?"

"Okay, Papa!" He reached out to turn Anna's head toward him, and she met him halfway. The little boy kissed her cheek. "Thank you, Mama!" He scooted down to the other end of the couch.

Kira gently placed her hand on her mother's side, and was fascinated by the way the staples felt. "Mama, do they hurt?"

"Not any more, baby," Anna replied.

"How much longer will you have them?"

"I don't know, baby. I hope they take them out when I go for a check up next week."

Kira nodded. She gave her mother a kiss, and then went to sit next to Nikolai.

Raisa's hand shot out, and Callen grabbed her. "Slow down, Raisa, or you will lose your turn completely," he said. "Touch her softly, or not at all."

Raisa gave him a dirty look that wasn't lost on Anna. She took her daughter by the wrist. "Raisa, go sit down. You may not touch my staples."

Both Anya and Kira were shocked.

"Mama?" Kira said.

"It's okay, guys. Mama caught Raisa herself," Callen offered by way of explanation.

The older girls nodded, and stayed quiet.

"Callen, will you take me upstairs, please?"

"Sure, baby." He leaned over and picked up Anna.

"Oh, man!" Raisa grumped. "I don't want to lie down!"

"You're not going to. We are going out for some ice cream," her father said. "Get yourselves pulled together because we're leaving as soon as I come back downstairs."

Callen brought her into the bathroom so she could feel better, too. Then he carried her over to their bed and laid her down very gently.

"What happened, baby?"

Slow tears seeped down Anna's cheeks. "I'm not sure, except that she was going to touch me too hard." She put her arms up, and Callen gathered her into his.

"My poor baby," he murmured. He held her close and rubbed her back for a few minutes. "We will get to the bottom of it all, you know," he promised.

"I know, Callen. It just hurts."

He smushed her one more time, and then kissed her. "You sleep for now while I take our restless natives out for ice cream."

"Sounds good," she smiled.

Callen pulled the sheets out from under her, and then covered her up to her chin. Then he kissed her one more time before he returned downstairs.

Anna laughed. He had forgotten to close the blinds and turn on the little lamp, so she got up and took care of it herself. Then she snuggled down into the sheets again, and closed her eyes. She fell asleep very quickly.

"Where's Mama?" Raisa asked.

"She is sleeping," replied her father. "None of you are going to disturb her."

"What kind of ice cream are you getting for her?" Raisa persisted.

"Enough, Raisa! Do not question what this family does on any given day! She doesn't want any, and the matter is closed. Do you understand that?" Callen growled at her. He seriously considered leaving her home, but not while Anna wasn't feeling well.

"Yes, but I think she should have some," Raisa contradicted.

"That's fine," her father said amiably.

Kira and Anya glanced at each other. They instinctively knew that their father had the upper hand, and Raisa would be on the receiving end.

They kept quiet for the duration of the ride to the ice cream parlor. All of the children were thrilled because their father had driven to the shop that had an inside playground.

"Here's the deal. Behave here, on line, and at the table, and just maybe you'll be able to go into the playground. Any kind of rudeness or shenanigans will keep you at the table. Do you all understand that?"

"Yes, Papa," all four children replied.

"Okay. Study the menu before you decide," he added.

"Okay, Papa," Kira said. "Papa, is there a paper menu for Nikolai to read?"

Callen gawked at her. "That is a great idea!" He caught the eye of a waitress, and explained what he needed. In a moment, the girl handed him a menu, which he handed to Nikolai, whose eyes bugged out.

"Kira, there's too much ice cream!" Nikolai declared.

She laughed. "It's okay, Nikolai. Show me which one you want to eat," she said.

He pointed to a bowl with vanilla ice cream that was well-covered with rainbow sprinkles.

"Let's show Papa," Kira said.

"Yaa," agreed Nikolai. "Papa, can I have this kind?"

Callen looked down, and smiled. "Yes, Nikolai. That's fine." He then told the waitress what the little boy wanted, and added his own choice. "Girls, get done."

"Yes, Papa," said Anya, who was focused on a triple layer ice cream cone that also had rainbow sprinkles. "Is this okay, Papa?"

"Sure, baby," Callen agreed, amused because they all chose items from Nikolai's menu. He added Anya's choice to his list.

A moment later, Kira told her father what her choice was, but Raisa dawdled. Callen caught on quickly, and took the menu from them. He added two more items to his roster, and then escorted his children to a booth. He dragged a tall chair over for Nikolai.

"Oh, no, Papa," he complained. "I want to sit on the bench with you."

"Oh, boy," said Callen. "We'll make a bargain. Try the bench. If it doesn't work, you sit on the tall chair. Okay?"

"Okay, Papa." Nikolai climbed up onto the bench. He knelt, and the table was a good height. Then Raisa tattled, and Callen shot her a look.

"You guys stay here while I get the tray, please."

"Yes, Papa," his children chorused.

Several minutes later, he returned with a tray laden with all kinds of colorful treats. He handed them out to his children, and Raisa almost had an apoplectic reaction.

"This isn't what I chose!" she whined loudly. "I don't want it!" She shoved her bowl of ice cream at her father.

"Oh, boy," mumbled Anya.

"That's fine. Just sit quietly until it's time to go into the playground," he told her.

To everyone's surprise, Callen did send Raisa to play with her siblings in the playground. The older girls ran her ragged, and Nikolai wouldn't play with her at all.

About an hour later, Callen called them all to get ready for the trip home. They were all hot, tired, sweaty…and happy. They were eager to tell Anna about their adventures, but she wasn't downstairs yet. Callen sent the children off to play, and he went to check on Anna.

It took some juggling, but Callen managed to bring Anna her ice cream. He had bought a stuffed-cone with triple scoops, all of which were covered in chocolate sprinkles.

She took a big bite, and smiled at him. "This is so good," she oozed. "Thank you!"

"You're welcome," he said, watching her enjoy it.

She held her hand out. "Please?"

He chuckled. "Sure." He leaned in as she did, and they bumped heads. That didn't stop them from sharing her ice cream, and when they got finished, they were both covered in chocolate ice cream and sprinkles. He looked right at her. "Oh, my gosh! This was super good. Thank you, baby." He kissed her goopy face, and then got a pair of wet, warm washcloths so they could both clean up.

Then he tossed the washcloths into the sink. "You feel better, Anna?"

"Yes. I think I needed the sleep."

Callen nodded. "I think so, too. I'm going to change back into my pajamas. I want to see what Dr. Nikolai will have to say." He laughed, and Anna joined him. When he was ready, she gave him a hasty kiss, and then they went downstairs together.

"Hi, Mama!" Nikolai shouted, running over to give her a hug.

Anna picked him up, and carried him over to the couch, where she sat down and cuddled him. "Did you have fun, baby?"

"Yaa, Mama! Papa gotted us ice cream!"

"He did?"

"Yaa! I gots sprinkles on mine!"

The girls added to the silly mayhem, and Anna enjoyed hearing about the entire trip. She also noticed that Raisa was growly, so she knew the the little girl had made a mistake. She glanced up at Callen, who shook his head.

"Later, baby," he mumbled. She nodded.

Dinnertime passed flawlessly. Together, he and Anna cleaned out the fridge, and cooked anything that was cookable. The children had fun dining on the crazy smorgasbord that their parents created. There were cut-up hotdogs, teeny-tiny finger sandwiches that were stuffed with cold cuts, fake meatballs made of hamburgers that could be dipped into dipping sauce or ketchup or spaghetti sauce, and surprise pies that were stuffed with chicken nuggets and mixed vegetables, all in a very soothing chicken broth. The entire family enjoyed their dinner.

The parents did give the children time to digest and absorb their dinner, but by nine o'clock, they were all sent to bed. Those who complained had to take their showers before bed; the others could wait until morning.

The two big girls got ready for bed quickly, and Callen tucked them in. Then he played with Nikolai in his room until Raisa finished her shower.

Anna fished Nikolai from his game, and both he and his father put on the saddest faces she had ever seen.

"Oh, no, boys. Not happening!" she said before she laughed at them both. "Fix your faces!"

"Like this, Mama?" Nikolai said as he contorted his face with the help of his fingers.

Callen did the same thing. "Like this, Mama?"

Even though Anna was becoming frustrated with their antics, she laughed at them. "No more, please, boys," she said with a faux sternness. Then she broke into laughter. She picked up her little boy, and kissed her big boy. "I'll be along soon," she mumbled to him.

"What are we doing, Mama?"

"You still have to take your bath, Nikolai. Next time, think for yourself instead of copying what Raisa does. Okay?" She set him on the floor, and turned on the tub.

He looked at her funny. He couldn't believe she had figured out that he had copied his sister's poor behavior.

"Can I have some bubbles, please, Mama?" He began to undress.

"Sure, baby," she replied. Then she measured a capful of soap bubbles, and held it under the stream of water from the faucet. He was fascinated as the bubbles suddenly appeared out of nowhere.

"Thank you, Mama!" He threw his arms around her neck and kissed her.

Anna chuckled. "You're welcome, Nikolai," she said as she lifted him into the water. Then she pushed her sleeves up, and knelt alongside the tub.

"Mama! This is so fun!" He took a deep breath and ducked his head under the water. When he popped up again, he looked like a grizzled old man.

Anna took a handful of the suds and slathered them all over her chin. "Now I look like you!" she declared.

NIkolai laughed. He took another deep breath and ducked under the water again. This time, he came up free of soap bubbles.

Anna hastily rinsed off her chin, and he thought she was funny.

Then he looked at her funny, and slapped the water. It went flying everywhere, soaking the walls, the floor, and his mother.

Not to be out-slicked, Anna slapped the water, too, and sent an even bigger cascade of water flying. She soaked herself from her hairline down to her waistband, and Nikolai laughed. He slapped the water hard, soaking himself and his mother. They both laughed, until Anna called a halt to the nonsense.

"Baby, we need to stop now. You have school in the morning," she said.

"Oh, man, Mama!" he complained, but he stood up and let her wrap him in a huge bath towel.

She pulled the plug in the tub, and then closed the lid on the toilet before she sat down with him on her lap.

"I think you're my baby burrito," she said, kissing him all over.

Nikolai squirmed and wiggled all over. "Ewwww, Mama!" he objected.

This was new, and it didn't feel too good. "What's ewww?"

He struggled to sit up, so she helped him. "Mama, don't you know that I'm a big kid now?"

She looked worried. "Yaa," she said.

"Mamas aren't supposed to kiss their big kids all over. Just a teeny tiny bit."

Anna shook her head. "Nope. Not happening, Nikolai. Not yet. I'm not old enough," She felt sad. "I love to kiss and hug you."

"Oh, damn," he said, sensing that he had hurt her feelings. "I'm sorry, Mama." He patted her face before he kissed her. Then he looked right at her. "You're the best mama in the whole world," he declared.

This time, she did cry. He had made her feel very special, and she loved him that much more. She smushed him tightly.

"Mama, you really need to get up, please. I need to pee!"

Anna got up off the toilet so fast that she nearly dropped him. She opened the lid and jumped out of the way.

Nikolai peed in a hurry. He made sure he wiped himself before he flushed and washed. She was very surprised at his bathroom manners.

"You're very grown up now," she observed.

"Yaa," he agreed. "That's how we gots to do it in Ms. 'Ronika's class," he explained.

"Oh, I see," said his mother. "Thank you for telling me that."

Nikolai leaned at her a little. "Mama, look," he said, holding onto his penis. "Mama, do you know that Papa gots like me?"

"Yes, baby, I do. It's because you are both boys."

"Papa is a boy like me?"

"Yes. He's a boy just like you."

"Oh, thank you, Mama! I gots too many stisters!" And he threw his arms around her neck and hugged her tightly. After a minute, he let go and then cupped her face in his hands. "Mama, I'm sorry I saided a bad word before."

Anna's eyes opened wide. She was very surprised by his apology. She hugged him in return. "Thank you, Nikolai," she said. Then she kissed his cheek before she stood up. "Baby, you need to get to bed. It's very late."

"I'll be okay, Mama," he replied. "I'll sleep in Ms. 'Ronika's class instead of horse around."

"Ohhhh," she said, shocked speechless. She picked up her little boy and carried him to his room. She helped him with his pull-up and his pajamas, and then tucked him in, right up to his chin. "Good night, my baby," she whispered.

Nikolai smiled, but he didn't say anything.