Time for some newborn antics from Bella! I have tried to make Bella's change and newborn phase as realistic as possible. I feel that in Breaking Dawn she really got off lightly, especially with how much newborns were built up in all the previous books (particularly Eclipse); their instability, their bloodlust, their strength, their fits of rage/temper, yet Bella was perfectly normal and, even if we discount Renesmee and Jacob as not being fully human, she was still able to be in a small enclosed space with Charlie after only a few days. In this story, Bella will be more like a typical newborn, though I will try not to make her suffer too much ;)
Staring into the eyes of seven vampires, my instincts were telling me to attack. A fight or flight situation and my newborn brain was instantly going to fight. There was a niggle in the very back of my brain. Something told me that both fight and flight were the wrong responses, but I couldn't quite bring that niggle to the front of my mind. I growled again, an involuntary response.
All seven vampires held their hands in front of them in a gesture of submission. My newborn brain was confused. I was outnumbered. I couldn't understand why they were surrendering. I closed my eyes, fighting against all my instincts, to try to think.
Then I heard a sound. The only sound that could have brought me out of those newborn instincts.
"Bella?"
Even in my confused newborn state, my heart and soul knew that sound. It was the sound of my mate. The sound that would cut through anything to reach me.
I opened my eyes, instantly zooming in on the source of the sound. As soon as I looked at him, my mind calmed and I was able to think again. I was able to access the niggle that had been at the back of my mind. That was telling me I was never in danger from these vampires. They were my family.
I stood up out of my crouch, looking around at the rest of the family, who were looking slightly less nervous now that I had stood up from my aggressive stance.
"Bella?" Edward said again, his hands still held up in front of him to show that he meant no harm.
"I'm sorry," I whispered, closing my eyes again and sliding down the wall until I was sitting on the floor among the debris from my earlier flip. Everything was so overwhelming. As well as the instincts that I had no control over, I could also see, hear, and smell everything around me. Closing my eyes helped a little. Taking away that sense, whilst it went against my self-preservation instincts, made everything a little less overwhelming.
"It's okay, Bella," Edward said, his voice a little closer than previously, "We all understand how intense it is when you first wake up. Can I come closer?"
I nodded, not yet able to open my eyes, but needing to have him near me. I knew that he, over all others, would be able to keep me calm. I took a deep breath, focusing in on the sunshine and honey scent that was all Edward, and even that calmed me a little, however, I couldn't ignore the intense burn in my throat that I knew meant I needed to hunt.
Slowly, I opened my eyes, needing to see Edward as well as hear and smell him. He was kneeling in front of me, having moved so slowly to make sure that he didn't frighten me. When I saw how close he was, I grabbed him, pulling him to me, craving that connection with him.
"Ow! Easy, Bella," Edward winced. I instantly dropped my arms, though my brain couldn't quite work out how I had managed to hurt him. He wrapped his arms around me, not letting me go.
"It's okay, love," he whispered in my ear, "You are just a lot stronger than me now. It's your turn to not break me for a while."
"Everything is too much," I said quietly, "The sounds, the smells, the burn." I reached my hand between us to clutch my throat, as though that could somehow ease the burn.
"I know," he said, "I remember how overwhelming everything is. It'll be easier once you've hunted. We can go whenever you are ready."
"Now?" I asked, my hand rubbing the outside of my throat as though I could somehow soothe the burn, "I can barely think."
"Let's go," he said, standing up and holding out his hand for me. I took it and stood up, but I kept my eyes down, just letting Edward lead me. I wasn't sure I was going to be able to regulate my speed, so letting him lead me took away that worry. When I looked up, I realised he had led me to the window on the other side of the room. I looked at him questioningly.
"I thought you'd prefer the quickest way," he smirked, "We can walk through the house if you'd prefer." I shook my head. He was right. The quicker the better.
"How do I do this?" I asked, looking down at the ground that seemed too far away.
"Just jump," he said, "As much as that goes against my entire being, you are now unbreakable. We can jump together."
With that, I took one final look at the ground, I closed my eyes and let Edward guide me in jumping out the window. I felt the air woosh past me and a split second later, my feet were once again planted firmly on the ground. I opened my eyes, amazed to see that we were now standing in the garden.
"What now?"
"Now, we run," Edward said, a smile on his face, "Apart from meeting you, this is my favourite part of being a vampire." With my hand still in his, we began to run into the forest. Slowly at first, not much faster than a human run, but we quickly picked up speed and I understood why Edward loved running so much.
The speed was amazing. We were moving so fast that everything around us should have been nothing but a blur, however, I could see everything perfectly. I could see every leaf, every blade of grass, as we ran. We ran deep into the forest and I wondered if we were alone or if his family were following behind. I listened carefully for any sign of them, but I couldn't hear any other footsteps. I marvelled at the fact that my breathing was as even as if I was sitting still. As a human, I was never a runner, much too uncoordinated to even attempt running, except in times when it had been necessary for my survival.
I was just about to ask Edward what I was supposed to do to hunt when the wind shifted and a scent filled my nose. It wasn't anything I had ever smelt before but I was drawn to it. Along with the scent came a wet, thudding sound, and before I knew it, I had ripped my hand from Edward's and was racing towards the sound and smell. Once again, my instincts had taken over and I no longer had control over my body. I raced through the forest, my only thoughts were of reaching the sound and smell that was causing my mouth to water. I rammed my way through the forest, paying no attention to anything in my way. It was all inconsequential in my need.
Finally, I burst through the trees into a clearing where a large bear was drinking from a small river. Without stopping, I was on top of the bear within a split second. It hardly even registered my presence before I sunk my teeth into its neck, tearing easily through the flesh, muscle, and tendons. When the warm blood hit my tongue for the first time, I almost moaned, despite the fact that the taste was a little off. I didn't care. I drank it down eagerly. It was warm and wet and it soothed the burn in my throat as I pulled as much of the blood into my mouth and down my throat as quickly as possible. All too quickly, the animal was drained and I threw it down with a growl of disappointment.
Just then, I registered a presence behind me and once again my instincts rose to the surface as I turned and growled, before launching myself towards the danger. With a thunderous sound of rocks colliding, I landed on top of the intruder, pinning them to the ground.
Once again, I heard the sound that reached me even in the depths of my newborn instincts, "Bella?" I blinked my eyes as I realised it was Edward, unable to move beneath me.
"Shit! Sorry," I apologised, starting to move off him, but he just wrapped his arms around me, holding me in place, "I can't believe I almost attacked you. What's wrong with me?"
"Nothing is wrong with you," he said, staring into my eyes, "You are a newborn vampire. This is completely normal."
"It doesn't feel normal," I groaned, "I can't control myself. My instincts just take over and I don't even know what's going on. My body just reacts."
Edward sat up, taking me with him, moving so that I was sitting in his lap. He didn't say anything, just held me close to him, letting his closeness calm me down. I closed my eyes, once again trying to lessen the sensory overload in some small way. The forest was fairly quiet here. Only the sound of the breeze drifting through the leaves above us and a few animals moving around, though they were all far enough away from us.
When I had finally calmed down, I opened my eyes and extricated myself from Edward's lap. My calm did not last long though, when I stared around the clearing we were in. Trees had been ripped from the ground, their roots still attached, leaving large gaping holes in the ground. Boulders had been smashed, fragments scattered all around. Around the almost unrecognisable, completely ravaged body of the bear I had fed on, there were large gouges of earth, the same size and shape as my hands and knees. I slowly turned around, looking at the damage in complete disbelief.
"What...?" I stuttered, "Did I do all of this?"
Edward didn't answer. I didn't really need him to. He just looked at me indulgently, like a parent might look at a small child who'd accidentally spilled a glass of milk. Like it was to be expected.
"I don't remember doing any of this," I said, my mouth agape, "I was so focused on the sound and smell of the blood. How can I not remember ripping up trees and smashing rocks?" I sunk down to the ground, holding my head in my hands, trying to reconcile the creature that had caused all of that damage with my vision of myself. I hated that I felt so out of control, so unlike myself. I wanted to cry. My eyes burned with tears I would never be able to shed and that just reminded me of how different I was now.
"Bella, love," Edward said softly, kneeling down in front of me, "It gets easier. I promise. Do you want to go home or do you need to hunt some more?"
I swallowed, the burn in my throat only slightly dulled from the bear. I knew I probably needed to hunt again, but I didn't want to feel as out of control as I did earlier. My brain wrestled with the decision. The fire lapping up the sides of my throat won out and I gave in.
"I need to hunt," I whispered, feeling ashamed, "I'm sorry."
"Never apologise for needing to hunt," Edward said, tilting my head up so I was looking into his eyes, "And never apologise for telling me what you need." I nodded, knowing that he would never judge me, especially for needing to hunt.
"It should be a bit easier this time," he said, taking my hand and pulling me up to stand beside him, "The first hunt is always the most intense. Now, close your eyes. Let your other senses spread out."
I did as he said, trying to focus on not losing control if I came across that mouth-watering scent again. I tilted my head up into the air, taking a deep breath. Instantly, I smelt something I wanted. It wasn't the same as the first time. It was different, less rich, and more woody, but my body reacted the same way. I took off in the direction of the smell. Once again, I tore through the forest like something possessed, through trees and rocks, but this time I was, at least, more aware of what was going on. I still couldn't control what my body was doing though. I could have avoided the obstacles in my way, weaved through the trees, jumped the rocks, but my mind was focused on one thing and that was getting to the source of the scent that filled my nostrils.
I was on top of the moose before I knew it, my teeth sinking into its neck. I swallowed the warm blood down quickly, despite the fact that the taste was even more wrong than the bear. It was warm and wet, sating the burn in my throat a little more with each mouthful, but my body seemed to know that it wasn't quite right. Despite that, when I pulled the last drop of blood from the moose, I felt more sated, though the burn had not disappeared completely.
This time when I heard footsteps behind me, I fought hard against the instincts that were telling me to attack. It's Edward, it's Edward, I told myself over and over until the instinct was firmly buried. I turned to see him watching me from between the trees, his dark eyes roaming over my body. With the blood of both the bear and the moose zinging through my body, I felt different, energised, and when I saw him staring at me like that, a different kind of instinct took over and within a split second I had him pinned to the ground again.
I looked down at my mate pinned beneath me, my entire being needing to claim him. A new hunger, completely unrelated to the burn in my throat, filled my body, a red haze clouding my vision as I ripped the clothes from his body. Some distant part of my brain registered his hands tearing at my own clothes and soon we were both completely naked. Edward let out a loud growl, a sound that should have sent terror through me, but all I felt was liquid heat that spread through my whole body before concentrating in my core.
Just as I was about to lower myself over him, Edward flipped us over so I was beneath him, and with one quick thrust, he sheathed himself fully inside me. My whole body became alive the very second we became one and from the sound that escaped Edward's lips, it seemed that he had the same feeling. He stilled inside me, basking in the feeling for a few seconds before the mating instinct took over, forcing him to move.
All sex with Edward had been amazing, but this was different. It wasn't making love or even just sex. It was fucking. It was mating. It was claiming and being claimed. Pleasure radiated through my entire being, zinging through every single cell in my body, as he thrust hard and deep inside me, over and over again. The sounds that were coming from both of us sounded more animalistic than human; growls, hisses, and roars filling the forest. The coil in my stomach continued to wind tighter and tighter until it finally snapped and the most earth-shattering orgasm spread through my body. Seconds after, Edward roared as he spilled deep inside me.
The red haze that had clouded my vision began to recede as we lay panting heavily. Edward still lay atop me as I came back to myself, realising that I was partially buried in the soil of the forest floor. My eyes met Edward's as he too realised just how far into the soil I was. He instantly jumped up, pulling me with him, dirt and debris falling from us as we moved.
"Well, that was different," I said, looking up into Edward's eyes seeing some hesitation there, clearly unsure how I was going to react, "You fucked me through the ground!"
Edward's eyes widened, clearly taken aback by my swearing, before throwing his head back and laughing loudly. I couldn't help but join in with the laughter, as I stared at the indent of my body and Edward's knees and hands gouged into the ground. We laughed long and hard, until we could hardly breath, though we didn't really need to, finally settling down as Edward pulled me into his lap as he sat with his back against a tree.
"How are you feeling?" he asked, pulling my hair over one shoulder so he could look down into my eyes.
"After that? Amazing," I chuckled.
"I meant how are you coping with everything?" he said with a quiet chuckle, "But I'm glad to hear you enjoyed it. It wasn't exactly romantic."
"Nope, but that's not always a bad thing," I replied, then sighed, "Everything is still very overwhelming. It's hard to concentrate when I can hear, see, and smell everything within a two-mile radius. And then my instincts just take over and I have no control over my own body. It's scary. I could hurt you or one of the family in that state, or God forbid I came across a human. There's nothing in this world that would have stopped me from taking down that bear or moose if that had been a human..." I shuddered at the thought, my mind wandering without permission, thinking about how much better human blood would have smelt and tasted. The flames in my throat roared higher at that thought, despite the fact that I should have been sated after my earlier meals.
"I promise it does get easier," Edward said, his hand rubbing comforting circles on my back.
"When?" I asked, "After a year when my newborn phase is over?" The thought of feeling like this for that long made my chest feel tight.
"No," he assured, "It will take a year or so until it all settles down completely, but this overwhelming feeling, the feeling completely out of control will ease a good bit within a few weeks. After that, the smell of blood will still call to you, make you rush towards it, but it won't take over everything else. Especially, if you work on your control, on pushing past the instincts and keeping your brain focused on everything around you. Jasper can help with that. He has a lot of experience with newborns and helping them with their control."
The tightness in my chest eased a little and I took a deep breath. Knowing that it wouldn't be a whole year before I could keep some sort of control over my mind and that Jasper could help me, calmed me a lot.
I looked down at our naked bodies and then towards the shreds of our clothes that littered the area around us.
"Emmett's gonna have a field day when we have to walk back to the house like this," I groaned, covering my face with my hands, waiting for the blush that never came.
"Don't worry," Edward said, "This is where having a psychic sister usually comes in handy." He stood up and sped away from me so quickly that he would have been a blur if I'd still been human. As it was, I could see him clearly as he ran through the trees, appearing back at my side almost instantly with a backpack.
I reached for the backpack and attempted to open the zip, however, not realising the strength in my new body, the whole bag split down the middle, all of the clothes spilling onto the ground in front of me as I stared open-mouthed. I stared at the jumble of clothes now lying on the forest floor for a few minutes before lifting my eyes to look at Edward. He was looking at my bemused face, a grin pulling at the sides of his mouth as he tried his hardest not to laugh. A fight he eventually lost as a chuckle escaped his lips.
Instantly, I saw red. My vision began to blur at the torrent of anger that flew through my body at being laughed at. I couldn't control the anger. I couldn't push it down as I would have as a human. I could barely control the instinct to attack him, but because it was my mate, my mind and body warred with the need to attack the source of my anger. Finally, I settled on running.