A\N: So, I am alive

The King was more than she ever thought he could be.

Of course, he was her uncle. And he was also her friend. He was a good person despite the sadness he carried in his heart, and he was gentle despite the rumors of him being a vicious tyrant. He had a soft side that not many knew, and she always got to see it when she was visiting. He was good at telling her stories of when he was young and was extremely patient and helpful when explaining complicated topics and theories, even when listening to her thoughts and questions on the matter at hand.

He was someone she had always treasured, ever since she first got to meet him when she was six years old. And that was enough for her.

But one day, it all changed. And in a way she could never anticipate.

"You're awfully quiet."

Seol looked up then, her brain finally coming back to the present, and she felt something stir inside her when she stared at the King again.

"I'm sorry, Pyeha." The word felt odd coming out of her mouth, "I just have a lot in mind."

"I have brought you tea and snacks," the man continued, teasing her with a formal tone that they never used when they were talking in private, "Why do you refuse my offerings? Are you not satisfied? You swore that you still had many stories to share with me the last time you came."

Well, she sort of had a reason to not be as talkative as before.

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Seol knew she shouldn't eavesdrop. And she never did such a thing, at least not on purpose. She was only passing by to bring her father a gift she had bought at the festival and had no intention of prying. As a matter of fact, she was also about to move on from her father's study room door when she noticed her parents were having a serious conversation. But it was hard to pretend she didn't hear anything and leave after they clearly said her name.

So, as her curiosity took the best of her, she ended up getting closer, silently leaning against the door so she could hear better what they were saying.

"Wangjanim, I really don't think this is wise." The first words she managed to discern were her mother's worried advice. But then again, her mother constantly sounded like that, so Seol didn't think much of the woman's tone.

"Didn't you just say that Seol is very mature and clever?" Her father retorted, and she could almost see the grin he always had on his face when he used his wife's words against her. Her mother, however, didn't sound fazed – nor amused.

"Seol is very sharp and bright indeed, but this matter requires more than wit."

"She knows you're not her mother."

"She has always known I'm not her mother." Seol visualized her mother rolling her eyes then, "The girl was five years old when we married. But Wangjanim, you…"

"It's the right thing to do."

"But is that what Hae Soo would have wanted?"

Seol frowned at the mention of her birth mother, and she tried to figure out exactly what they were talking about. But the words only made her curiosity grow into a burning need for answers. So, she stepped even closer to the door.

"Buin..."

"It could be dangerous for her," Munhye tried to argue, but her father was adamant and unsurprisingly stubborn about whatever it was that they were discussing.

"It won't. I'm sure she can handle this."

And because Seol didn't like when people made decisions for her, she moved forward, opening the door to her father's study room and revealing herself. The two adults, sitting at the small table on the floor, looked up at once. And with one glance at her resolute posture, they knew she'd been overhearing them.

They gawked at her, both caught in a stupor by seeing her coming in. And if Seol hadn't known already that they were talking about her, she would certainly find out now.

"Seol-ah," her mother snapped out of it first, and immediately started to reprimand her, "Didn't I teach you not to sneak into others' business?"

"If you two are talking about me, then it's not others' business but mine, isn't it?"

Her words baffled her mother, who bulged her eyes and looked incredulous as she turned to stare at her husband. Her expression seemed to accuse and blame him for the girl's behavior, but the man only shrugged with a light smirk.

"Don't look at me. You were the one who taught her to argue logically like that."

"What's happening?" Seol cut to the chase and asked what they were talking about, "Is it the Queen again?"

"My child…" Her mother tried to explain, but then sighed and gave up on it. And with just one look at her worried eyes, the girl understood that whatever this was, it was bigger than the Queen's delusions.

Two months before, the Queen had been causing a ruckus with her parents, convinced that they were planning to offer Seol in marriage to the King.

The confusion hadn't last very long and it hadn't had any actual consequences. If not for her mother telling her, she would probably never know about it. Seol had never really engaged in a conversation with the woman, and she didn't wish for that to change any soon. And her mother had taught her well enough how to behave and beware in the palace so that she wouldn't be helpless even if she was in the presence of the King's wife and the mother to his heir.

Seol had thought the matter was silly – really, she marrying the King? – and that it would quiet down soon, but her parents had only grown more wary and guarded. Even her uncle kept telling her to be more careful when she was staying at the palace. And whenever she would ask more about it, or even mention the situation, they would get that same worried and tense look.

The silence was also a common occurrence, and she would always have to reassure them that she was ready to get them to talk again.

"You can tell me anything."

Her parents looked at each other then, having a silent conversation that Seol was sure to be just a repetition of the discussion they were having while she listened outside the door. Then her mother stood up, reluctantly, unwillingly, muttering her disapproval. She walked to her daughter and squeezed her shoulders tightly before walking out.

"Come inside, Seol-ah, and sit down," her father beckoned to come closer with a raised hand, "I have to tell you something."

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"What is it that plagues your mind this evening?" The King continued in that exaggerated solemn tone, oblivious to her thoughts. And Seol giggled, because no matter her mood after her discovery, she couldn't stay serious when he teased her like that. It was always like he knew exactly how to lighten her mood again.

"It's not exactly a topic appropriate for talking about over tea," she tried to evade his inquiry by repeating her old etiquette teachings, but the man was not having it.

"I don't think your mother would find any of the topics we usually discuss fitting for teatime."

She sighed then. She knew very well that if the King noticed that something was bothering her, he wouldn't let it go until he'd helped her to solve it. And even if there was nothing that he could do, he'd always be undeterred from making her feel better. Even if all to be done were to offer words of comfort.

Seol also felt that, although she still was not sure if this was the best time, she wouldn't have the courage to bring up the topic later. So, she went ahead, breathing in deeply, and cautiously chose her next words.

"Remember that crazy theory of mine? That Abeoji wasn't really my father?"

"Oh, that matter," the King looked stunned for a second, but he pulled himself together quickly, "Have you come across new evidence?"

Well, she could say that.

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"You already knew it," her father affirmed it, more to himself than to her, when she only stared at him in silence after hearing the truth.

"More like suspected it," she explained, her eyes tearing up a bit and her smile awkward, "But no, I'm not surprised."

She was not surprised, but still sort of overwhelmed. She had been only fourteen years old when she first started to suspect it, but whenever that intrusive thought dared to cross her mind, she would berate herself for even considering that. Later on, she would remember her uncle's advice of how in the end it didn't matter if her theories were correct or not, as Abeoji was the father she had, and he was more than enough for her. And then she would feel guilty for thinking of him as 'the father she had' rather than just 'her father'.

As she grew older, she started to easily dismiss that theory, thinking of it as just the delusion of a child who read way too many fantastic tales. She would tell herself that the King had been only humoring her back then to not upset her. She would push away any tinge of doubt that would spark whenever she would see another sign in her father's affection, her mother's wariness, or her siblings' appearances.

But as the confession came from the man who raised her, she realized that she had never truly left the matter behind her.

However, while she wasn't surprised, she wasn't necessarily pleased. So, her face looked rather blank in a stupor.

Her father, on the other hand, only smiled and shrugged.

"I should have expected that. I'm not a great liar."

"It doesn't change anything between us, Abeoji," she said the words without hesitation. It didn't change anything then when she only imagined it. It wouldn't change it now that it was reality, "You're my father. Just like your wife is my mother, even though I know that Hae Soo was the one who gave me life."

His smile grew a bit more, and she knew it was because he was feeling grateful and happy, but also too shy or awkward to say those things back. Then he scratched his ear, looking down for a few seconds then back at her.

"So, don't want to hear about your father? Know who he is?"

"He's alive?" Seol asked in surprise. Even though she had been recently wondering if she had a different birth father, she never really expected him to be alive. She thought she was some poor orphan with no one else in the world, which was why her father had taken her in. Hearing him refer to her biological dad in the present made other burning questions surge, and before she could fully grasp her mind around her new questions, she was already shooting them off her mouth, "Does he know about me? Why he never came to see me? Do you know where he is now?"

Her father took a deep breath and leaned back a little. She was used to this habit of his whenever he used to speak about her mother, and Seol found herself leaning closer to him eager to hear every single word of his.

"It was your mother's last wish that you would not live with your father, and he has agreed to that. He'd rather never get to call you 'daughter' than have you living in constant fear for your life and your happiness." The words seemed to come out too fast and yet too slow for Seol to keep up and grasp her mind around them. She felt her eyes bulging and her face going pale, but he didn't stop, "It's the place he lives. It drains people out. Everyone there is alone. And everyone has enemies that would go to great lengths for their greed."

Her father's words made something else stir in her brain, and she felt her heart fluttering, starting to soar as her mind started another internal debate, as the possibility surged faster than she could control it, as the theory sprung to live without her even trying. Seol's voice came out raspy and grave, and she suddenly couldn't look into her father's eyes, when she asked the next questions.

"Did he… Did he love my mother?"

"He still loves her very much."

"Then he wouldn't let me go. Not entirely."

"He didn't."

"He would find a way to stay close without raising suspicion from his enemies."

"He has."

"And he…"

"Seol-ah. Just say it out loud."

She shouldn't. She really shouldn't. Because it just was a silly tale that she liked to imagine ever since she heard the song that made the King fall in love with a servant; it was just something she had been thinking a lot about recently. After all, Seol knew that her mother was a servant, that she had entered the palace when she was around her age, and only left years later, shortly after her uncle had been crowned, shortly before she was born.

She shouldn't, because until this moment she had only wondered if her uncle had loved her mother, not if they had been together and later broken up. She shouldn't be thinking stuff like this.

And yet…

"The King. It's him, isn't it?"

She stared intently at her father, her eyes unblinking, and she was suddenly out of breath when he nodded slowly.

"I'm sorry for keeping this from you for so long."

"All this time!" Seol gasped, the shock washing her like a cold-water bucket, and the torrent of emotions coming out of her like a cascade, "All this time and I've called him Pyeha, I've called him Uncle! He favored me over his own children, and the Queen went as far as wondering if he was considering marriage. And all this time he has been my father!"

"I'll leave you alone for some time."

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Seol still hadn't fully grasped it.

Yes, she knew it to be true, and surprisingly she was not having any doubts about that.

But still, the concept had not fully sunk, the notion had not settled. Even though it had been five days since the revelation, part of her still felt like she had just heard the truth, so the shock never truly faded.

She didn't even know how she should be acting right now.

Thankfully, her unc— her fath— the King spoke up, so Seol didn't have to keep struggling with herself and come up with something to say.

"Jung told you, didn't he?"

Of course, he knew she knew. He had always been able to see right through her, and could never be fooled by the masks her mother always taught her to wear in the palace. He knew she knew, and he spoke carefully with her. Seol, in turn, carefully gauged his reaction, trying to see how he felt about her knowing the truth.

"Abeoji was always terrible at keeping secrets," she shrugged, feigning an indifference she knew he wouldn't believe, "I'm surprised he carried this one for so long."

The King chuckled at her comment, but his face looked strained, as it did whenever he kept some of his more intense feelings hidden from her. So a bit of uncertainty started to seep into the shock of realizing that this was her father.

This was her father, and for the first since their first meeting, she didn't know how to act around him.

"I hope you're not too angry," he said at last, and his words surprised her a bit, "At any of us."

"I was hoping you would not get angry at him for telling me."

"I've always been a little selfish," the man said with a shrug, but it didn't fool Seol either; she could see from the way that he fumbled with his cup of tea that he was feeling awkward and nervous, "And if it weren't for his promise to your mother, I would have whisked you away the second I laid eyes on you. If he decided to tell you the truth now, I won't complain."

A fear that she hadn't known she had been feeling dissipated with his words. The relief washed over her as she realized that no, she hadn't been unwanted at all, and the King was glad that she knew he is her father. He was not pushing her away, he was not shutting her out.

Even with her father reassuring her earlier, telling her the reasons and the logic behind her adoption, and revealing secrets that had been kept from her all her life, she still had her reservations. And they abruptly disappeared with the King's words. She wasn't a rejected orphan pitied by a prince, but perhaps she had to hear it from her biological father himself – rather than his brother – to fully believe it.

"So, not angry?"

The King repeated his question cautiously, and as she gauged his hesitant eyes and a weak smile, she saw a reflection of the insecurity she had been feeling until then. Because Seol already knew she was wanted by her biological father, but the King was not sure if his biological daughter wanted him — he was not sure if she was happy, sad, shocked, satisfied, or angry.

And the truth is, she was, just a bit, just for a while. She was angry for being lied to, bewildered after realizing the chaotic mass that was her life, sad for her family and her adoptive parents, and satisfied for knowing the truth at last. She felt everything at once, which led to a state of confusion and doubt. But it all faded as she realized something.

"I've only seen good and beautiful things here at the palace. But I'm sure it was because you wanted to make me comfortable."

"Didn't completely fool you, did I?"

"It only takes one look at the people here to know they don't have happiness," Seol said slowly, sharing an observation she had never shared with anyone except Munhye, "The palace is a poison. It makes brothers drift apart, cultivates greed in the altruistic, corrupts the honest, and breaks the brave. Even you, the ruler of the nation, were condemned to let go of so much."

The King remained silent for a while after she was done speaking, which made her wonder if she had managed to express herself properly. But then he chuckled, poured a bit more tea into her untouched cup, and she couldn't hold back her smile.

"And they thought teaching you politics would make you want to move into court," he finally said, amused.

"Oh, no, never! I think the more I knew about court life, the more I wanted to never get involved with it," she was baffled at that idea and reacted abruptly, only then realizing how rude she might have sounded, "With all due respect, Pyeha. Also, the Queen is scary."

The man took no offense, merely nodding with an understanding expression as he swallowed his tea.

"Then I hope you see it wasn't out of indifference that your mother entrusted you to Jung." As well as I did, the rest of the phrase went unsaid, but she was fine with that.

"Yes. I understand why you and my mother decided not to let me live here. And I can only feel grateful for that." Her words were truthful and came from the deep of her heart, "It's good to know that my parents loved each other very much, and in the end loved me so much that they would sacrifice the only thing that could make them happy. Just so I would grow up happy. So, thank you for your benevolence, Pyeha."

The man smiled a bit, but Seol saw on the way his face clenched that he was holding his expressions back – and she felt herself doing the same. There was a tinge of awkwardness in the air, and even though she felt happy, she also felt overwhelmed and had to look away.

But as soon as she stared into her cup of tea, she remembered something.

"I just have one question," Seol turned to him, her posture and her words once again cautious, "How did you know?"

He didn't say anything at first, which made her think he would give her an enigmatic answer or no answer at all, but then he leaned back on his chair as his eyes went out of focus and he reminisced about the past.

"First, it was your appearance and your behavior. They reminded me of her, so I thought it was cute." Seol vaguely remembered that first meeting of theirs, but she was already wondering which aspects of hers the man was alluding to, "Then Jung came in, fumbling and stuttering while trying to hide you from my sight, so I started to get suspicious. But I only got entirely certain after I saw this."

He pointed at something above her, and she looked up confused. Then she put her hand on top of her head and finally understood.

"My peony hairpin? It used to be my mother's!"

The King nodded and she thought she could see tears in his eyes.

"I gave it to her when she was a little older than you are now," he said with a bitter smile, his perpetual sadness mixing with his rarely seen fondness.

Seol knew it was hard. It was hard for her but it was infinitely harder for the King and his brother, even though it had been so long. She knew it was hard for him to revisit good old memories of a person that would not return, but this tiny piece of a much larger history that he just offered her — this one drop of an ocean — awakened a thirst she kept away and at bay for quite too long. So, before she even ponders whether he will be mad or glad, the question is out of her mouth.

"Will you tell me about her?"

"What is there that you don't know already?"

"How did the two of you meet?" The question came out effortlessly, without her even having to think about it, "How did you fall in love with each other?"

The King smiled, and Seol knew him well enough to know that this was a fond one and that he was happy by her question and her request.

"Those are two entirely different stories. I don't think I'll be able to tell you everything this time, as your father is leaving after tomorrow. Perhaps on your next stay."

"What if I stay longer this time, then?"

The King had always been her favorite uncle, he'd always been someone she considered a friend: someone she could trust, someone who would take care of her – someone who would always accept her for who she was, someone who didn't mind when she didn't stick with the protocol

But he was so much more.

She could see them now, all the little gestures and actions that showed just how much he treasured her. She had been revisiting her memories and finding signs, clues, and deeper meanings in his words. Seol had been, ever since her father told her the truth, looking at their past and musing over how much he loved her.

And she loved him too. She loved her uncle, she loved her friend. Seol loved her father.

She loved him even when he scolded her for asking to stay longer in the palace when she knew very well that she had to resume her studies. And she knew he loved her too much to be able to withstand her pleading eyes and that he would concede whatever she asked for.

Seol managed to persuade him to allow her to stay two more days, before he kicked her out of the Damiwon, ordering her to return to her chambers. And she laughed at his mockery of a regal and authoritarian tone. However, he was adamant that she went back to rest and have a proper meal, so she failed to pull anything out about her mother from him.

She was smiling when she excused herself from the table. She was smiling when she walked away from him. She was smiling because even after the truth has come to light, nothing had really changed between them.

A sudden thought crossed her mind then. And she froze on the spot for a couple of seconds before turning back to him.

"Pyeha!" She ran back to his side before whispering confidentially, "Can I call you Abeonim when we're alone?"

Her father looked stunned for a second. His mouth dropped in shock, and he stuttered, unable to come up with a coherent sentence. His eyes filled up with tears once again.

But that was only for a second, because very quickly the tears and the shock faded away, and he smiled softly.

"I'd like that a lot."

A\N: So, I was about to lose it, these past few years. Not sure exactly how I didn't. Not even sure if anyone else still reads Moon Lovers' fanfics in the year of 2024. I still have a few things to put out, and so I will do.

Anyway, hope you had a good reading.