Author's Note: Thank you to those who favorited, followed, left comments or sent me private messages with your thoughts. I definitely appreciate your opinions and love hearing what you think of Sloan Shepard's story so far. This chapter, I think, may give you some insight into my Shepard as it did Kaidan. Hopefully, you'll enjoy it and leave me some comments. I would love to hear from you. Enjoy. - TLC
Chapter Fourteen
They were laughing, and it felt nice. It had been just a day and a half since the mission on Feros yet the lighthearted atmosphere that permeated the ship was a stark contrast to the heaviness of the day before. Kaidan wasn't sure who to credit with the change, but he was grateful for it. When they reached the Atremis Tau cluster they had picked up on a distress beacon from the planet Edolus. They entered the planet's atmosphere just over an hour before with the hopes of picking up Kahoku's team and bringing them back to the Citadel.
Shepard, Garrus and Kaidan met in the cargo bay and retrieved their weapons before moving towards the Mako. Garrus climbed in first so he had the room to arrange his large form in the back seat, near the gun controls and scope. Shepard met Kaidan's eyes when they stopped in front of the vehicle's open door. Keeping her eyes on Kaidan's, she turned her back to him in an unspoken request before looking away. He ran his hands along the seams of her armor, ensuring all of the closures were secure. As his hands skimmed across her shoulders, his fingers brushed the back of her neck and he bit back a grin at the gooseflesh that followed his hands. He tapped her shoulder guard and she turned and thanked him. He stepped in front of her and allowed her to check his armor. She took her time, methodically checking the closures, lingering near his waist before moving up his sides. Her cool fingers trailed across his neck, just under his amp port and he failed to suppress the shiver. He turned when she tapped his shoulder and found her smirking at him, with a pleasant sparkle in her eye.
He felt the corner of his mouth turn up and stepped aside to let her into the driver's seat, much to Garrus and his own dismay. The bay doors opened and Shepard executed a textbook, if rough, drop from the ship to the planet's surface. Garrus had grunted, maybe a little more dramatically then necessary, as the vehicle jarred against the unforgiving dirt. This started a debate on what kind of terrain the Mako could handle and who should do the driving. Shepard felt it appropriate, because the Mako could handle it, to drive over the rougher terrain; terrain like large hills of loose rock, or small mountains. Kaidan and Garrus argued that maybe it would be better to go around these obstacles, in order to save the vehicle some damage and the subsequent repair work that would follow.
"The shortest distance between two points is a straight line," Shepard argued, as she looked to Kaidan through her visor. Kaidan averted his eyes to the radar display and the signal from the distress beacon they were following.
"Not if we break down half way there," Garrus argued, and Kaidan snorted. He could feel Shepard glaring at him, and kept his eyes down.
"I think you're just upset you can't drive because you don't fit up front," Shepard suggested as she turned hard to port, the back end of the Mako swung out wildly and Kaidan braced himself by holding the straps hanging from the ceiling.
"No, I would be more than happy if Alenko drove," Garrus suggested, "I would like the Mako to return to the Normandy in one piece for a change, is all."
"Then what would you do all day?" Shepard asked him as she looked at him in one of the mirrors. The Mako had become Garrus's pet project while on the Normandy, and Kaidan had to admit it had never run better.
"I am sure I could find something occupy my time, get caught up on messages, get a good night's rest, leave the cargo bay for more than meal times," Garrus listed a few of the things he hadn't had much chance to do since joining the team. "It's just… it is nice to know you're not good at everything."
Kaidan lost it then, breaking into loud laughter and Garrus followed suit. He looked to Shepard out of the corner of his eye and was relieved to see she was laughing, too. "Fine!" She conceded, "From now on…" Her voice trailed off and her face fell as the breached a rocky hill. Kaidan and Garrus were still chuckling, until Kaidan noticed the way her back had stiffened, and her grip on the controls had tightened. "Shut up," Her voice was quiet, yet stern. The Mako fell silent as they slowly rolled closer to the distress beacon. "Shit," She said, throwing the Mako into reverse.
"Commander?" Kaidan asked, and was surprised by the utter terror he saw in her eyes when she looked to him for a second. She stopped the Mako and turned to look out the front of the vehicle again, her breathing was heavy and her skin was slick with sweat.
"Alenko, on thrusters; Vakarian, on guns," She dictated and her voice left no room for questions, as Kaidan readied himself on the thruster controls, Garrus shifted behind them to look out the scope. "On my order," Her words were quiet but hard, and she slowly drove the Mako back towards the beacon. As they reached it, they found a severely damaged ground vehicle, and about a dozen burned – no, not burned - melted corpses. They could feel the ground rumbling beneath the Mako up through their feet. Kaidan's heart pounded wildly against his ribs. "Vakarian, get ready; stay on the scope, stay on the cannon but be ready with the guns. Alenko, be ready to jump," As soon as the words left her lips, the ground erupted in front of them and they were faced with a sizeable Thresher Maw. To say it was massive and terrifying would be an understatement. It truly was a tangle of tentacles and teeth, and the screeching noice that left it was enough to curdle the blood pumping through Kaidan's veins.
Before the fear could settle in and take hold, Shepard threw the vehicle into reverse again and shouted, "Cannon!" Garrus let loose and the maw screamed when it made contact. The Mako rocked as she shifted and spun around the area, Garrus switched to the guns. The maw reared back, and Shepard spoke again, her voice emotionless, though Kaidan could feel the horrified energy rolling off her in waves, "Alenko, get ready," She said as the maw let rip with a shot of acid and disappeared beneath the ground. Seconds before it would have hit them, Shepard shouted, "Now!" and Kaidan hit the thrusters allowing them to jump over it.
As soon as the tires hit the ground, they were off again. They circled the area, waiting for the maw to reappear. It shot up, closer than they would have liked, and Garrus was able to hit it again with the cannon. It let out a scream Kaidan could feel rumbling through his core and Shepard barely steered them out of its way as it lashed out and attempted to crush them. "Alenko!" She shouted as she spun and, without a second thought, he hit the thrusters. The acid splashed up from where it hit the ground beneath them and spots on the bottom of the Mako melted away. The whole time, Garrus never stopped with the gun and he let a shot from the cannon rip as the maw started to descend. It screamed, and fell over.
They had killed it. The silence that filled the vehicle was broken only by Garrus falling back into his seat and their deep ragged breathing. Shepard was still gripping the controls as she struggled to catch her breath. Kaidan could feel the erratic rhythm of her heartbeat as her biotic energy pulsed. He looked to her and could see her eyes pinched closed through her visor. He reached out and touched her shoulder. Reflexively, she swatted his hand away. She flung open the door allowing them all to exit. They kept their guns at the ready, though the odds of there being another maw on the planet were slim. By the size of the beast that lay dead behind them, it was an adult. Shepard crouched down and retrieved one of the dog tags from the body of the nearest soldier.
"These are Kahoku's men," Kaidan stated unnecessarily as he moved to the next body and assisted Shepard in her task.
"What the fuck were they doing here?" She asked and Garrus moved to study the distress beacon. Kaidan handed her the dog tags he had collected and she linked them together and held them tight in her hands. "Are they all accounted for?" She asked quietly, looking down at the metal in her fist.
"Yes, Ma'am," He answered grimly. When her eyes met his, he was stunned by the raw emotion he saw there. She was angry, desperate, deeply saddened and underneath all of that, she was utterly terrified. He knew there was nothing he could say, but he couldn't look away either. She seemed so alone. Before he could say anything else, Garrus spoke up over their helmet comms.
"It was a trap," At the declaration, all but the anger disappeared as her gaze turned steely. She looked over Kaidan's shoulder to Garrus who explained the beacon they had been following had been here before the attack. It was set here, on top of the maw's nest to lure a responder.
"Goddamn it!" She said as she whipped around and pulled out her pistol. She flashed blue for a second, and Kaidan felt a tingling rush of energy as his biotics answered hers. She fired a few shots at the beacon until it exploded. "Let's go," She said and led them to the Mako. She got in behind the wheel, and neither Kaidan nor Garrus commented. She radioed for Joker to pick them up, and steered away from the scene of the massacre.
As the Mako slowly rolled over the hills, Kaidan was once again overwhelmed by the extreme shift in mood. "Uh, Commander?" Garrus asked after a tensely silent moment.
"Yeah?" She replied, her tone hard and unyielding, hiding any emotion she was still feeling.
"I think you're a fantastic driver," Garrus complimented, and Shepard let out one solitary chuckle, and the rest of the ride was silent while they awaited extraction. The Normandy picked them up, and they exited the Mako once it was secured in the cargo bay. Shepard moved over to Ashley's station and noisily dropped her guns onto the counter before moving to her armor locker and whipping off the pieces and throwing them into the open locker to be taken care of later.
Kaidan took his weapons to Ashley. "What happened?" she asked him, and he dismissed her question, telling her they would speak about it later. He voiced the unnecessary command for her to clean and repair their weapons, and she answered in the affirmative with a salute. The planet's surface had been quite dusty, and the guns would need to be disassembled and cleaned before they could be used again without the fear of jamming. He decided he would come back down after filing his report and help her. This way he could fill her in as well.
He turned to go to his locker and found Shepard struggling with a clasp on the back of her armor. Something about the pieces she had already removed, and the order in which she had unclasped the other closures made turning difficult. She may not have been visibly flaring, but he could sense she was close. He chewed the inside of his cheek as he walked over to her. As if she could feel his presence, she stopped and let her head fall to the locker. He reached out and undid the final clasp. She removed the chest piece and dropped it in her locker. She said nothing, just turned on her heel and stormed to the elevator. He watched her go, her fists clenched at her sides, body tense and eyes down.
As soon as the elevator doors closed on her, the tension in the room was released like the air in a balloon. He sighed, and removed his own armor, stowing it in his locker before moving to Shepard's and doing the same. He looked over his shoulder and saw Garrus already had the Mako on the lift so he could make repairs to its undercarriage, and Wrex was with Ashley at her station assisting with the weapons.
Kaidan went to the elevator, and exited on the crew level. He went to his station and logged in. He synced his omni-tool to the console and started his reports. He saw Shepard had already contacted the Alliance to send a team to recover the bodies of Kahoku's men. He checked the trajectory and saw they were headed for the Citadel. He assumed as much; Shepard would want to tell Kahoku in person. He finished his reports and submitted them just as Shepard thundered down the stairs and to her quarters. Her posture hadn't changed since she'd left the cargo bay.
Kaidan logged off the console and traced his steps to go back to assist Ashley with the weapons. When he reached her station, he noticed she and Wrex had already cleaned and repaired the bulk of them. Still, he pulled up a stool and joined them. "Hey, L.T.," Ashley greeted him and he nodded in answer as he picked up a rifle and made quick work of disassembling it. "Garrus said there was a Thresher Maw?" She asked. Kaidan nodded and filled them in. Ashley let out a low whistle, and lifted her eyes to Kaidan's. He knew she was thinking what he had been thinking since the beast reared its ugly head: Akuze.
"Thresher Maws are nasty beasts. It's impressive you were able to kill it," Wrex offered, true admiration in his stony voice.
"Shepard knew what she was doing," Garrus said as he made his way over to the trio as Kaidan and Ashley reassembled the last of the weapons. Wrex looked at Garrus skeptically. "It seemed like she knew it was there before it revealed itself. It was like she could sense it, feel it," Garrus went on to discuss her tactic for taking it down. Kaidan and Ashley exchanged glances. He was surprised when he realized they didn't know the Commander's history. He had thought it had been relatively public knowledge. Granted, it had no impact on Council space, it was strictly Alliance. While it was a story worth telling, but both Kaidan and Ashley knew it wasn't their story to tell. They remained silent. Deftly, Ashley moved the conversation from Shepard and Thresher Maws to the beacon and why someone would want to lure anyone there.
The next eighteen hours went by slowly, the intensity of the ship stifled the crew. It was later the next day when they were docking at the Citadel. Everyone was grateful when Shepard announced they had twelve hours of liberty, and everyone was anxious to get off the ship and enjoy the downtime. Shepard had reached out to a few contacts and found out that the Admiral had meetings at the Citadel Tower and she should be able to reach him there. Kaidan and Ashley were in the cockpit with Joker discussing their plans when Shepard joined them. The bridge fell silent as Ashley and Kaidan moved to stand at a relaxed attention.
Shepard had stepped up next to Joker's seat so she was slightly in front of Kaidan and Ashley. She was wearing her dress blues; the deep navy color with regal gold piping made her eyes pop, and Kaidan was lost in a moment as he admired the snug fit of the uniform. Ashley stepped on his foot, and he looked at her quickly before turning his gaze back out the viewport. Shepard cleared her throat, "Williams, Alenko," she said turning to look at them.
"Ma'am?" Ashley answered.
"I know I gave everyone time off, but I would like both of you to accompany me to the Tower to speak with the Admiral before you take off," It almost sounded like a request, but Kaidan knew an order when he heard one. They gave their affirmative response and turned on their heels to change into their own dress uniforms. It didn't take long, and they met Shepard at the airlock. They were silent as they made their way through the Presidium.
They reached the elevator, and Kaidan noticed Shepard's hand shook slightly as she hit the control for the car. She clasped her hands behind her, resting them on the small of her back as they waited in silence. He noticed the dog tags they had retrieved were clenched tight in her fist. Why did it always seem like their trips to the Citadel were always clouded with anxiety and negative energy? They reached the Tower, and found the Admiral near the Council's area.
Kahoku's face fell as soon as he saw the three of them headed his way. Shepard was respectful and honest as she broke the news to him about his crew; that they had been lured to their deaths by an Alliance distress beacon. He seemed slightly less surprised than Kaidan thought he would have been. He thanked her for looking into it, and for bringing him the tags and arranging their retrieval. He told her he had a few leads and would let her know if there was anything else she could do. She saluted, and he returned it before leaving them.
A deep sigh rolled over her form and she turned to look at Ashley and Kaidan. "Alright, let's get out of here." Shepard led them back to the Normandy where they changed out of their uniforms and into civilian clothes. Kaidan was in the cockpit waiting on Ashley with Joker, trying to convince the pilot to join them.
"Come on, Joker, you can't stay cooped up here all the time. She'll be fine without you for just a few hours," Kaidan pressed and Joker opened his mouth to argue, but didn't. He was looking passed Kaidan, and when Kaidan turned he saw Ashley headed their way.
She wore a black skirt that was just long enough to brush her knees and just tight enough to show off her shapely legs. Her crimson top was loose and made of a delicate fabric that seemed to float around her, yet clung to her in all the right places as she walked. The cut of the sleeves allowed the top to hang off her shoulders in a way that drew your attention. She held a black clutch in her hand, and her heels matched her top and were high enough to make her taller than Kaidan. She ran a hand through her hair, and pushed it back over her shoulders, exposing her delicate neck. It was an action that would have betrayed insecurity on some women, but when Ashley did it, it was with a quiet confidence that made you feel special that she was even looking at you. Kaidan suddenly felt severely underdressed in his simple jeans and black shirt. The pause in the click of her heels caused Kaidan to look to her face, and see the smirk tugging at the corner of her glossed lips.
Kaidan looked down to Joker, and chuckled at his expression. Ashley put her hand on her cocked hip before she spoke, her kohl rimmed eyes seemed deeper than he'd remembered, "Ready?" She asked, her tone soft and smoky. Kaidan nodded, and started to tell her Joker wasn't coming when he was interrupted.
"Yeah, I am. Grab my crutches, Alenko," Joker asked and Kaidan grinned, as he handed them over and Joker stood. "Let's go," He said and started to make his way to the airlock. Kaidan gestured for Ashley to walk ahead of him and she nodded her thanks. When Kaidan turned to go to the airlock, he saw Shepard making her way towards them.
She was dressed the exact opposite of Ashley. Ashley had dressed for attention. Shepard was hiding. She wore simple jeans and her combat boots with a plain grey hoodie and a black baseball cap. Her hands were tucked into the pockets of the sweatshirt and her hair was threaded through the back of the cap. Her head and eyes were down, and she slowed and paused as she reached the airlock as if by instinct. "Shepard," He greeted and she looked up at him. Her eyes looked almost grey as they reflected her top, and the shade made her look sad. "Are you joining us?" He asked, trying to keep the optimism out of his tone.
"Not tonight," She answered shaking her head as they waited for the air to pressurize. Ashley and Joker were discussing the club they were going to, Flux, it was new and its reputation was cleaner than Chora's Den, if only slightly.
"Well, I'm glad to see you getting off the ship, at least. Getting some ground, or space station, beneath your feet," Kaidan commented, and Shepard nodded.
"Anderson's got an apartment here. After the last couple days, well, I'm going to visit him for awhile," She admitted, and then seemed conflicted as she worried her bottom lip. The doors to the Normandy opened allowing them off the ship and they made their way towards the elevator off the docks. She tore her eyes from his as they exited.
"Commander Shepard!" A voice rang out across the dock, and he watched her shoulders fall momentarily, before she straightened and turned towards the caller. Ashley and Joker made it to the elevator and were holding it for them. Shepard took a few steps closer to the C-Sec officer who had called out to her, and Kaidan signaled for Ashley and Joker to go without him. He didn't miss Ashley's grin as she moved deeper into the elevator, and Joker moved his crutch to allow the elevator to close.
Kaidan took a few steps closer to Shepard, and stood behind her, slightly to the right. Instinctively placing his folded hands behind him and standing straight. She turned and noticed him, and when she said nothing about him staying behind with her he took that as a good sign. "I'm Lieutenant Girard, with C-Sec, I am sorry to bother you but I have a delicate situation and I think you may be able to help."
"Are you going to tell me what it is? Or do I have to guess?" She asked, icy annoyance lacing her tone, and the Lieutenant looked a little taken aback.
"Y-Yes, Ma'am, I'm sorry. There is a woman here. She was rescued from Batarian slavers a few weeks ago. She's from… Mindoir. I guess, I guess she was taken in the raid on … your town," He explained, and she moved her hands behind her, clasped behind her back – her knuckles were white.
"She's been a slave for the past thirteen years? Is she alright?" The Commander in her asked. Kaidan noticed a blue sheen form quickly over her clasped hands before it dissipated. He focused on remaining calm, and keeping his biotics from reacting to hers.
"Not really, no. She's pretty messed up," Girard paused, and dropped his eyes as he continued, "She got free, somehow. She grabbed a gun from one of my guys. Now, she's holed up on the docking bay," He gestured to the neighboring bay, "She says she wants to die. I was… I was hoping you would talk to her. I know it's a long shot, but you went through the same thing: The raid. I think, maybe, you could talk her out of her tree," He suggested, sounding hopeful.
"Lead the way, Lieutenant," She agreed, and turned to Kaidan. She nodded for him to follow along and he did. "Alenko, did you bring a weapon?" She asked him as they followed Girard's quick steps from one bay to the other. He told her he did as he patted the holster under his jacket. She nodded as they reached the area that had been cornered off by C-Sec.
"Anything you could do would be great," Girard said as they reached the edge of the area. "I don't want to… uh… she's been through enough. She's behind those shipping containers. I have snipers in position but I don't think we'll need them. She's only a danger to herself," He held out a hypodermic needle filled with a dose of a magenta drug. "We have a sedative to calm her down, but we can't get close enough to her. Every time we try, she gets more wound up."
Shepard took the needle and handed it to Kaidan. "Tell your men to stand by," She said to Girard before turning to Kaidan. "I'm going to go talk to her. I don't know how she's going to react to me, but I know if I go at her with drugs or guns she'll lose it. Stay close," She said and he nodded, "And be ready."
"I've got your six, Shepard," Kaidan promised, and was surprised by the sad smile that tugged at her full lips as their eyes locked for a long second before she turned. He followed her, as they moved closer to the girl.
She was young, and could have been pretty if she wasn't so thin and clearly broken. She was bruised. Her head was shaved and her eyes were wild. Her thin lips were pulled back in an insane grimace. "S-Stop! What do you—what are you?" She said, her voice high pitched and wild like her eyes. She waved the gun towards the two of them, and Kaidan slid his hand under the opposite arm and unlatched the holster so he could pull the gun quickly if he needed to.
"My name is Sloan, Lieutenant Girard sent me to talk to you. What is your name?" Shepard asked softly. Suddenly, Kaidan could imagine a fifteen year old Shepard, arguing with her parents about getting a gun, comforting her younger brother who had skinned a knee, running and laughing through the fields of Mindoir without a care in the world. Kaidan had always prized himself on his ability to see an individual instead of a species, but in this moment, he hated Batarians. He hated them for what they had done to this girl, for what they had taken from Shepard.
"Animals don't get names," The girl answered quietly, her eyes, and the gun, dropping momentarily as she spoke, "The Masters put their symbols on her. Hot metal all over her back. She screams when they do it," Her voice trembled, and she swayed on her feet. She was clearly exhausted.
"You're not an animal," Shepard promised, keeping her tone even and gentle. "Your parents? Do you remember them?" She asked her, and the girls eyes filled with tears. That was enough of an answer for Shepard. "What did they call you?"
"She remembers… a lot of things. They call her Talitha," She answered, then her voice hardened again and she lifted the gun, "Sh-She doesn't remember the rest! Leave her alone!" Kaidan swallowed hard as the gun wavered in Talitha's hand.
"I'm going to take a step towards you now, alright?" Shepard asked her, and paused for two heartbeats. Talitha did not lower the gun, but she didn't fire either. Shepard stepped closer.
"No! She's no good! You don't want her! Don't want to be handled again!" Talitha screamed, her entire body trembled.
"I was on Mindoir, too. My parents died in the raid. My brother was taken," Shepard spoke over the girl's yell and Talitha tilted her head and squinted her dark brown eyes at Shepard.
"Lying. You're lying. You get hit for lying. Get the buzz or the burning. Can't be there," Talitha's voice held her disbelief, then hardened as she pointed the gun at Shepard's face again. Kaidan's hand twitched near his weapon, but Shepard gave him the slightest hand signal to wait and he did. "Why are you alive? Why are you – why aren't you like her? Broken. Only fit to dig and carry." It was like Talitha suddenly realized the injustice of it all.
Shepard's resolve broke for a moment, Kaidan could feel it. "For awhile, I was broken," her voice was quiet, and Talitha had to take a small step closer to Shepard to hear her. The gun was lowered again, and Kaidan released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. "I lost everything, too, Talitha. I lost my whole family, my friends… my childhood, but you know what?" Shepard asked, and kept her eyes on the girls. She waited a few seconds before she continued, "I had to pull myself up, and keep going."
"You lose your Mommy and Daddy, but you don't dig. You don't carry. You stand up…" Talitha's eyes fell down and she whispered. "She wishes she could stand up."
"What happened to your parents, Talitha?" Shepard asked, already knowing the answer from experience but needing Talitha to say it. Talitha's eyes closed and she swayed again.
"There's – she sees them. They're yelling. 'RUN! HIDE!' They hit the masters, but, the masters, they have lights and… and hoses. Daddy's – He's melting! Sh-She doesn't want to see that! Don't make her look! Don't look! Stupid! Stupid!" Talitha raised the gun, and pointed it at nothing.
"I know that it hurts, Talitha. I don't like thinking about it either, but if you talk about it, it will hurt less. I promise," Shepard said, her voice thick with emotion and Kaidan felt a twist in his core as he listened to her words.
"When she thinks, water comes out of her eyes. The masters beat her when she wastes water. So she doesn't think anymore. She sees them. Mommy and Daddy," Talitha paused and looked up to Shepard. The pain and loneliness in her eyes naked for the world to see. "burning in the white light. Melting. Going to pieces. They can't even say anything to her. Can't say goodbye. They're dead, Sloan. They try to save her, and the masters burn them…" Tears fall from Talitha's eyes and the gun falls to her side, her fingers barely holding on to the grip. "Can she stop remembering now? Please?"
Shepard nodded, and spoke gently, "I'm going to take another step closer now, alright?" She asked her, knowing the situation had been diffused but not wanting to set her off again. Kaidan closed the latch on his holster and stayed still. Talitha nodded. Shepard took that step closer, and wrapped her arms around the broken girl.
Talitha started to struggle against her, "Don't touch her! Please! She's dirty! You'll catch it!" Shepard ignored her, if anything, holding her tighter; letting the security of her embrace ease the girl. They heard the gun fall to the ground at their feet and Shepard kicked it away. Kaidan picked it up, activated the safety and tucked it into the back of his pants. Talitha lifted her arms and wrapped them around Shepard. So tight, Kaidan could see the tension in her arms. "She doesn't want to be there anymore. In the pens. In the cages. Lying quiet while they do things to her." Shepard sighs and lifts a hand to cup the back of the girls head as she buries her face in Shepard's shoulder. Shepard starts to hum a gentle tune Kaidan remembers from his own childhood.
It is a long while before Shepard speaks again. Talitha's sobs have grown quiet, and she is breathing steadily. Now, she just looks tired. "Talitha," She said softly as she pulled back to look into the girl's face. "My friend Kaidan has some medicine that will help you sleep," There was something about the way his name sounded in her voice that made his pulse jump. It was a pleasant sensation, and he immediately felt guilty for enjoying it in the midst of the situation. "When you fall asleep, Lieutenant Girard will take you to some place where you can get better," Shepard promised, and Kaidan took a step closer to them. Talitha's eyes flicked to him and back to Shepard.
"Will she have bad dreams?" Talitha whispered.
"No, Talitha," She said as she stepped away and let Kaidan in, her arm still around Talitha's shoulders, supporting her, "You'll dream of a warm, safe place, and when you wake up, you'll be there." Kaidan slid the needle into Talitha's arm, and watched as her eyes glazed over. His own eyes flicked to Shepard's haunted cerulean gaze. She looked almost as tired as Talitha did.
"She'd like that, it hurts when she – when I remember me, but she wants to remember," Talitha was mumbling as she finally fell asleep. Shepard and Kaidan slowly lowered her to the ground. Once she was down, Shepard avoided looking at Kaidan. She stood and marched over to Lieutenant Girard with Kaidan at her heels. She told him she let them give her the injection, and Kaidan surrendered the confiscated weapon. Lieutenant Girard thanked them, and Shepard gave a nod and couldn't seem to leave the bay fast enough. Kaidan caught up to her at the elevator.
They stood and waited in silence. She was trembling. The elevator arrived and opened and they entered. She stood still as a statue with her head and eyes down. He reached out and pressed the call button for the floor they needed. The elevator rose and the silence was broken only by the advertisement blaring over the speakers. He could feel the silence stifling her. He could feel how hard it was for her to breathe. He didn't know what to say, or what to do. He was close enough that the rampant energy racing through her veins was causing the hairs on his arm to stand straight. With a gentle twitch, his hand brushed against hers at her side. A heartbeat later, before he realized it was happening, her hand was wrapped around his. Hard. Like she was holding on for her life, afraid of being swept away by the current Talitha's experience pushed her into. He held her hand as the elevator lifted them, in silence. There were no words for this moment, he realized that now. There was just her hand in his. It would have to be enough.
They reached their floor in silence. She dropped his hand as quickly as she had taken it. She turned towards him after they had stepped off the elevator and her glistening eyes met his. They stood just outside the open door, and stared at each other for a long hard moment. There was noise now; the ambient noise of the lobby of C-Sec academy. Her eyes were warm, and she was chewing her lip. He was intrigued, again, by all the emotions he saw warring in her. There was so much more to her than he ever imagined, and he was only scratching the surface of who she was. He hoped he would have the time to learn more, and that she would let him. Then, without warning, she turned on her heel and left him standing there. He watched her go. His hand flexed open and squeezed closed at his side. He could still feel her hand in his, cold and desperate. He watched her until she was lost in a sea of people. He buried his hands in his jacket pockets and let a sigh rip from the center of him. He wanted to follow her, instead he turned and went to meet the rest of the crew at Flux. She was going to be okay, she would be with Anderson. That would have to be enough.