Author's Note: Thank you to those who favorited or followed the story. To the guest who left the review, thank you! I would have replied if I could have. I hope you enjoy the rest of Noveria. I am on vacation next week so I am hoping to get a bunch of writing done. I ask all the time, but I'll do it again... please leave me a review and let me know what you think. Enjoy! - TLC

Chapter Eighteen

First, it was the Geth. Then they learned the geth were following a rogue Spectre. Now, according to what they'd learned from Benezia, Saren's ship – Sovereign, gave him the power to assert his will over his followers. Indoctrination, she'd called it; and who could forget the Rachni? Kaidan was lying in the med-bay on the Normandy having returned from Noveria just under an hour ago. This migraine was one of the worst he'd had in recent memory. Unfortunately, Dr. Chakwas was out of the sedative she'd used in her cocktail to treat his migraines. This left him awake and suffering while he waited for the rest of the narcotics to start their attack on his pounding mind.

Things had gone from bad to worse once they had left the garage. The drive from the main complex to the Peak 15 research facility was long and cold. Thankfully, they were warm enough between the Mako and their armor. The blizzard conditions made the trip dangerous. The road was icy, and to the left of the path was a significant drop off. If they slid over the edge, there would be no chance of surviving the fall; even with the thrusters. The vehicle was quiet as they traveled the long road. Though they had tried to get information on what was being studied at the facility, they were stonewalled by corporate fine print. So, they were going in blind, which was never a good way to head into any type of confrontation.

Kaidan was in the back of the vehicle, at the guns, while Shepard drove and Liara sat in his seat at her right. Liara didn't have the training to handle the vehicle's guns and missiles, but she could control the thrusters as well as navigate. Kaidan knew that was the only reason Liara was there and he was in back, but he couldn't help the irrational jealousy that tugged at his insides. His mood had soured and he couldn't wait to get the mission over and get back to the ship so he could brood in private. He glanced up at one of Shepard's mirrors, and found her eyes staring back at him in her reflection. He loved the intense blue shade and the way the emotion swam over them. He could tell she was anxious about confronting Benezia and felt comforted that she'd been looking to him when he looked to her.

Honestly, he was anxious, too. They would be foolish not to be. Benezia was a Matriarch, which meant she'd lived for close to, if not, a millennium. During that time, she became a leader and teacher of religion and philosophy within Asari culture. It was also probable that she would have a team of Asari commandos – powerful biotic soldiers – with her as protectors. If it came down to a fight, it would be a true battle. As Kaidan held Shepard's gaze he wished he could see more of her face through her helmet, and that she could see his. He hoped she was seeing the faith he had in her.

"Geth!" Liara shouted bringing Shepard and Kaidan's attention away from the mirror. Working on near instinct alone, Kaidan moved his attention to the scope and the guns as Shepard swung the Mako around. He fired the guns continuously and Shepard shouted for Liara to hit the thrusters to allow the Mako to jump over the energy pulses sent out by the Colossus, the same machine they'd first encountered on Therum. Once the machine fell to its side, sparking, Kaidan walked Liara through the steps to run a diagnostic program over the Mako from the console in front of her – his console – to check for damage to the vehicle and sighed at the annoyance burning in his chest. At least she was competent with the console and only needed to be walked through it once.

It felt like they had been in the Mako for hours, but really the drive from the main facility to Peak 15 only took about half an hour even with the random battles with geth left behind by Benezia. When they finally reached the facility, they left the security of the Mako and went inside. Kaidan did a quick scan of the area, and quietly notified Shepard that there were hostiles nearby. They drew their weapons and stalked into the garage of Peak 15 where they met a handful of Krogan mercenaries and scattered geth. The attempted ambush was over before it started since the mercs had lost the element of surprise.

They left the geth in pieces and the Krogan lying dead behind them as they made their way into the facility. They proceeded up the stairs and across a catwalk towards the center of the facility as the VI alarm advised them Peak 15 had sustained a "great deal" of damage and that the power to the VI had been shut off. Kaidan stated they would have to get main power turned back on before they would be able to leave and continue searching for Benezia. He heard Shepard's soft, annoyed groan as they walked. They noticed some of the stations defenses, like the turrets, were facing inwards, as if they were trying to keep things in as well as out. That realization made Kaidan's skin crawl, what were they doing here?

As they moved through the facility's tube like walkways that opened into a workstation at every juncture, the lack of life was unnerving. This was an active research facility and considering the station's power was shut down, something must have happened here. The question of what happened was heavy on their minds as they continued their silent search, weapons drawn. They reached an elevator, and took it up to an open air walkway. "It's a bit nippy," Kaidan commented, quietly. It had been silent for too long, and he was rewarded with a snort-like laugh from Shepard. He grinned.

The door ahead of them opened and they were immediately fired upon by even more geth, bullets bouncing off their shields. Liara was proving quite useful with her biotics, often able to immobilize multiple machines at once which would allow Kaidan and Shepard to take them out without exhausting their own biotic energy. There was no telling what would happen when they finally found Benezia and the more power they could reserve, the better. After the last geth fell, there was an odd noise, like a distant screaming or maybe the facility itself was creaking. The windows had been blown in and the whole room was open to the elements. "What was that?" Kaidan asked as they continued to scan the area.

"Anything could have gotten in. This place is in bad shape," Shepard answered as they moved towards the stairs. Small green cockroach looking beings were headed their way, the size of small dogs. When shot, they erupted spraying acid out over a large radius. These were not the source of the noise, though. That was up the stairs. Large creatures that looked like a cross between a cockroach and a lobster which was then enlarged to stand over five feet tall were at the top of the stairs snapping out towards the trio and spitting acid. "Holy fuck!" Shepard shouted as they let loose with everything they had. Bullets and biotics shot out at them with a fierce determination.

Once they were killed Shepard looked to Kaidan and gave the order for him to check them out and Shepard turned to Liara to make sure she was okay. She was really letting the biotics fly and she needed to be careful not to overextend herself. Kaidan crouched down next to the alien and opened his omni-tool. He had never seen anything like them before. When the results flashed before him, he was so stunned he ran it again, and then a third time. "Uh, Shepard…" He stated, and something in his tone must have alerted her and she turned towards him as he stood. "They're rachni."

"Kaidan, now is not the time for jokes," She said with a sigh as she walked over to him.

He lifted his omni-tool and ran the program again. She was standing behind him, and slightly to his left, allowing herself a view of his 'tool's screen. "Well, this is the fourth time I'm running the scan, and this is the fourth time I'm seeing these results," He said as he pointed to the screen that blared with the words: Rachni – EXTINCT.

"Son of a bitch," Shepard muttered as she looked to the dead bug at her feet and Liara came up behind them. "Seriously, what the fuck goes on on this planet?" She groaned and lifted her rifle again. "Let's keep moving, the sooner we find Benezia, the sooner we can get off this frozen wasteland." Kaidan saved the results on his 'tool before shutting it down so he could look into it more when he had the time.

They entered the elevator ahead of them, and it took them down, deeper into the facility. There were no words as each digested the appearance of the rachni. The rachni were a threat to Citadel space over two thousand years ago. As the Council races expanded, they forced the intelligent and highly-aggressive creatures to expand and defend their territory causing The Rachni Wars. The Salarians uplifted the Krogan for their combat prowess, and because their physical resilience would allow them to directly confront the rachni in the harsh environments of their home worlds. Eventually, the rachni were defeated and completely eradicated. They were extinct, at least they were thought to have been extinct until a few minutes ago. The elevator was silent still and the tension thick. "I do not like this place," Liara spoke with a quiet firmness that caught Kaidan's attention. "Too many dark secrets."

"Wish we could pop off some incendiaries," Kaidan spoke quietly in an attempt to lighten the space, if only for a moment. Both women turned towards him, confusion on their faces. "Seriously, I think I've got snow in my boots." He was awarded with a chuckle from both and they turned their attention to the doors as they opened. They headed off the elevator and found the main power station. At Kaidan's suggestion, Shepard attempted to restart it but they were informed that a manual reboot of the system would be required.

Shepard led them towards the system's main computer, and asked Liara to stay behind and watch while Shepard and Kaidan were taken down into the core. She turned to Kaidan when the elevator stopped, "I am shit when it comes to electronics. Tell me you can handle this." She stepped out of his way and let him closer. He took a deep breath as he started his diagnostics. It was a complicated program and he started by taking small steps to see what was hidden beneath the code. It was some kind of crazy puzzle.

"I can handle this," He answered her, and turned off all outside senses as he lost himself in the programming. It was exquisite in its complexity. One wrong step and the process would shut down and start itself over. It seemed to take longer than he though, and as the system restarted for a fourth time, he could feel sweat forming on his brow. He could feel Shepard's eyes on his back, but he forced himself to ignore it. Finally, the system lit up in front of him and the elevator began its ascent. He turned and looked to Shepard who was already looking at him. He knew she couldn't see him smiling, but he was. He was startled when her gloved hand slid in his for a brief second, just enough time to express her gratitude with gentle pressure before it was gone again. Then, he was grateful for the helmet as he was sure he was blushing as the elevator stopped itself.

Once they reached Liara, they reactivated the facility's VI. The VI, who called itself Mira, informed them that Shepard's Spectre status entitled her to Secure Access of all systems. She asked Mira where Benezia was and was informed that she had departed on the passenger tramway to the Rift Station subsidiary labs but the tramway was unavailable. The landlines were disabled and the main reactor was shut down. Mira had no further information for them about Benezia or the status of the station. However, Mira informed them that right before it was shut down, contaminates were released from one of the laboratories. By shutting down the systems, it allowed the frigid temperatures to kill whatever was released, "Turn off the heat, and hope the cold puts whatever you've unleashed to sleep. Nice." Kaidan muttered shaking his head. The deeper their investigation took them into this place, the dirtier he felt.

Mira gave them the information needed to get the station up and running again so they could follow Benezia to Rift Station. They took care of the landlines and the fuel lines. Once the tramway was up and running they took it over to Rift Station. The tram was eerily quiet and Kaidan was fidgeting. "Mom was right," Kaidan mumbled just loud enough for Shepard to hear and she looked up at him, eyebrows creased, "I should have brought a sweater." The look in her eyes told him she was smiling as she shook her head and looked away from him.

"You're a regular comedian today," Shepard teased quietly.

"I do what I can," He answered, and she turned her eyes to the doors opening before them. They had reached Rift Station. They readied their weapons and moved into the station. They found one unlocked elevator and rode it up a level where they found Captain Ventralis, the head of security at Rift Station. He and his men had been on guard for days, and were exhausted. He informed them that Benezia was in the hot labs, and gave a pass to Shepard to allow her to take the locked elevator to the labs. She thanked him and just as she turned to signal to leave, they heard the Rachni coming up the elevator shaft. Shepard, Kaidan and Liara joined Ventralis and his men in the fight, ending it rather quickly. Then, they took their leave.

When they finally reached the hot labs, they did not find Benezia. They did, however, find a scientist: Yaroslev Tartakovsky. He informed them Binary Helix, the company working out of Peak 15, had found a Rachni ship adrift in space carrying eggs in cryogenic suspension. One of the eggs was recovered and brought here to study. They planned to clone the rachni inside and create an army. Then the egg hatched and they realized the egg was a rachni queen. Once the queen reached maturity, she began laying eggs but the newborn rachni were removed from her once hatched so that Binary Helix could attempt to control them. The rachni went rogue, and escaped containment. Tartakovsky informed them the rogue rachni were beyond saving and the only way to kill them and secure the station was to activate the neuron purge. He informed them that he had to enter the code into Mira to initiate the purge. His words were interrupted by a rachni claw bursting through his chest and throwing Shepard and her crew into action. They took care of the rachni, but it was too late to save Tartakovsky. Shepard ordered Kaidan to the body to retrieve the activation code.

Shepard, Liara and Kaidan moved into the adjacent room where Mira's terminal was located. Shepard activated the terminal and provided the code to initiate the purge. The system informed them they had two minutes to exit the hot labs before the purge. Shepard gave the order to move out but when they reached the room with Tartakovsky's corpse, it was overrun with rachni; almost as if activating the purge called them here. With an impressive biotic display, Liara sent a group of rachni to the wall giving the trio a straight shot to the elevator. Once inside, they heard the loud blasts of the purge activating and the screams of the dying rachni.

Kaidan felt the shudder trace his spine as the elevator descended. They returned to Ventralis to advise him the rachni had been taken care of. Much to their surprise, he pulled his weapon on the trio and ordered his men to attack based on Benezia's orders. They ducked next to the stairs, and relying mostly on their biotics were able to end the fight quickly, though, their armor was beginning to show wear and tear from the repeated attacks. Kaidan could only hope they were nearing Benezia. They moved through the now empty room and found a sealed door labeled "Quarantine and Barracks." Shepard opened the door, and with weapons still drawn, they made their way into the room. At the back of the room, there was a maintenance door which led them through an icy cavernous area where the maintenance equipment was stored. At the end of the tunnel, there was another door and when they opened it, they saw Benezia, on a raised platform facing a large glass wall and a console. She hadn't seen them yet and they slowly moved into the room.

"You do not know the privilege of being a mother. There is power in creation, to shape a life, turn it toward happiness or despair," Benezia's words caused Kaidan's hair to stand on end as they continued into the room, nearing the bottom of the stairs that lead to Benezia. "Her children were to be ours, raised to hunt and slay Saren's enemies," It was then they realized she was in fact talking to them, she had known they had entered. Shepard stood taller and took a step forward. "I won't be moved by sympathy; no matter who you bring into this confrontation." Kaidan glanced at Liara who stood tall, her face a mask with no emotion though her hands were clenched at her sides.

"Liara's here because she wants to be," Shepard answered, gesturing briefly towards Liara.

"Indeed. What have you told her about me, Liara?" Benezia asked, her voice smug as she looked at her daughter.

"What could I say, mother? That you're insane? Evil? Should I explain how to kill you? What could I say?!" Liara shouted in response, her tone angry and desperate for answers. Answers it did not seem like Benezia would be giving.

Benezia turned her attention back to Shepard, "Have you faced an Asari Commando unit before? Few humans have."

"I can't believe you'd kill your own daughter," Shepard mumbled, shaking her head in disgust.

"I now realize I should have been stricter with her," was Benezia's only response before she let loose and froze Shepard in a biotic stasis. Doors opened all over the room and geth and asari poured in taking shots at the trio. Thankfully, Shepard's own biotics were powerful and after a few moments she was able to negate Benezia's stasis and go on the offensive.

The battle was intense, there wasn't time for Kaidan to keep tabs on Shepard they way he had grown used to. He'd gotten in the habit of watching out for her, of being the one who was able to help her out of tight spots but between the powerful geth troopers and the insane commandos it was all he could do to keep himself alive. Bullets bounced off shields and ricocheted off the walls. He heard Shepard call out, and glanced down at his tool as he saw Shepard's indicator flash red. His heart dropped to his feet for a second until he saw the offending asari fly across the room coated with Shepard's beautiful cerulean power.

His shields were near depletion, as were Shepard and Liara's, when he heard a strangled cry from the general area Benezia had been. The Matriarch fell to her knees as her last asari bodyguard fell dead. The trio quickly moved to Benezia, weapons drawn as she slowly stood. Though nearly beaten, she stood with a confidence born of a life lived over the course of a millennia. "This is not over. Saren is unstoppable. My mind is filled with his light. Everything is clear," Benezia spoke, and her voice sounded somehow distant.

"The rachni didn't cooperate with you. Why should I?" Shepard asked, her weapon aimed at Benezia's head. Both Liara and Kaidan took their queues from Shepard, and maintained their aim on the Matriarch.

"I will not betray him. You will – You…" Benezia's voice broke off, as deep breaths racked through her body. Her chest heaved with the strain. A quick glance to Liara showed her concern for her mother, and Kaidan was sure to keep an eye on her, wondering if Shepard had misplaced her trust. Suddenly, Benezia turned towards the trio, "You must listen," Her voice was clear and confident. "Saren still whispers in my mind. I can fight his compulsions, briefly, but the indoctrination is strong."

"Indoctrination? He's controlling you?" Shepard asked, lowering her weapon.

"Yes," She answered, "People are not themselves around Saren. You come to idolize him. You would do anything for him. The key is Sovereign, his flagship. It is a dreadnaught of incredible size and its power is extraordinary."

"Sovereign's not like other ships. Where did he get it?" Shepard asked, trying to get as much information out of Benezia while she could.

"I cannot say, but the geth did not build it. Its technology is far more advanced than that of any known species. The longer you stay aboard, the more Saren's will seems correct. You sit at his feet and smile as his words pour into you. It is subtle at first. I thought I was strong enough to resist. Instead, I became a willing tool, eager to serve. He sent me here to find the location of the Mu Relay. Its position was lost thousands of years ago," Benezia explained and Kaidan's mind was reeling. The ship gave Saren mind control abilities? This seemed far-fetched. Well, it would have seemed far-fetched a few months ago, before Spectres went rogue and the geth returned from beyond the veil and talk of Reapers began.

"Someone on Noveria found the relay?" Shepard asked, and Kaidan glanced at Liara. She seemed grateful that Benezia was being so forthcoming with information. She seemed hopeful this meant Benezia could leave with them. Kaidan didn't think it would be that easy.

"Two thousand years ago, the rachni inhabited that region of our galaxy. They discovered the relay. The rachni can share memories across generations. Queens inherit the knowledge of their mothers. I took the location of the relay from the queen's mind. I was… not gentle," Benezia sounded almost ashamed as she spoke these words, and Shepard failed to suppress a shudder and the mention of a forceful mind meld.

"Why does Saren need the Mu Relay?" Shepard asked, ignoring the sensation and keeping to facts.

"He believes it will lead him to the Conduit. I would tell you more if I could, but Saren did not share his counsel with me. I was merely a servant to his cause," Benezia answered, the regret plain on her voice. Regret that she wasn't stronger, that she had been swayed.

"You can still make it right. Give me the information," Shepard urged, holding out an open hand.

"I was not myself, but – I should have been stronger. I transcribed the data to this OSD. Take it. Please," Benezia said as she handed Shepard the small computer disc. Shepard immediately handed it to Kaidan for safe keeping and he tucked it away.

"Knowing the relay's coordinates is not enough. Do you know where he planned to go from there?" Liara asked, her gentle voice startling Kaidan and Benezia's pain filled eyes turned to her daughter.

"Saren wouldn't tell me his destination, but you must find out quickly. I transmitted the coordinates to him before you arrived. You have to stop – me. I can't – his teeth are at my ear. Fingers on my spine. You should – Uh, you should…" Kaidan could sense she was losing control and he lifted his pistol again. Shepard did the same.

"Mother! I – don't leave! Fight him!" Liara begged, desperate, as she took a step closer to Benezia. Shepard held an arm out to stop Liara from moving in front of her.

"You've always made me proud, Liara," Benezia's voice trembled and she turned her back to the trio. Liara lifted her pistol as well, tears spilled from her eyes as she aimed at her mother. Benezia turned back to them, eyes wild and black, "DIE!" She shouted as she caught Shepard in another stasis and then sent Kaidan flying backwards into a wall. He hit his head and went down hard. He was stunned; his vision swam and he felt the pressure coming quickly from the base of his skull, though he didn't lose consciousness. He looked up just in time to watch Liara fire a final shot to the center of her mother's chest. Shepard was released from the stasis and she turned to Kaidan. He waved her off; he would be fine. Shepard needed to take care of Benezia, and Liara.

Benezia fell back to the wall behind her, and slumped to a sitting position. She was breathing heavy, struggling for every breath when Shepard and Liara moved closer to her. Kaidan was barely able to bring himself to a sitting position as his head began to throb, the impact causing an instant migraine. "I cannot go on," Benezia tried to breathe. "You will have to stop him, Shepard." Her voice was reduced to a whisper as she struggled to hold on.

"Mother…" Liara cried as she dropped to her knees next to Benezia and took her hand in both of her own.

"Good night, Little Wing. I will see you again with the dawn," Benezia's eyes were drifting closed and her breathing slowing. Liara held her hand, her knuckles turning white, almost as if she thought if she just held her hand hard enough she could save her. "No light…? They always said there would be…" Benezia's last words were lost with an escaped breath as the life left her eyes. Liara dropped her head into Benezia's lap and cried. Shepard took a step away from the pair, offering Liara a few moments to grieve. Kaidan watched as she started towards him but was stopped when one of the Asari corpses stood and shuffled towards her. She lifted her pistol.

It wasn't until this moment that they realized the rachni queen Benezia had been talking about was behind the glass wall. Liara lifted her head and turned to look towards Shepard. The rachni queen had taken control of the dead Asari's body and was using her like a puppet to speak to Shepard. "This one serves as our voice. We cannot sing, not in these low spaces. Your musics are colorless. Your way of communicating is strange. Flat. It does not color the air. When we speak, one moves all. We are the mother. We sing for those left behind. The children you thought silenced. We are rachni." Shepard moved passed the reanimated asari and stood right at the window looking at the enormous rachni housed there. Liara stood and wiped her eyes. She went to Kaidan and opened her omni-tool to run a diagnostic over him, as he would have for either of them. She really had become part of the crew.

The queen continued, "We sing through touchings of thought. We pluck the strings, and the other understands. She is weak to urging. She has colors we have no names for but she is ending. Her music is bittersweet. It is beautiful. The children we birthed were stolen from us before they could learn to sing. These needle-men. They stole our eggs from us. They sought to turn our children into beasts of war. Claws with no songs of their own."

"Why did your children attack?" Shepard asked, offering respect by speak towards the window and not to the puppet asari.

"Our elders are comfortable with silence. Children know only fear if no one sings to them. Fear has shattered their minds," The queen responded, sounding angry.

Liara, still crouched near Kaidan, turned her eyes to Shepard and spoke gently, "I understand. A child left alone in a closet until she's sixteen would not be sane." Shepard turned and looked to Liara, her eyes open and assessing but not judging Liara. Shepard was weighing the situation and trying to come to a decision.

"I stand before you now," The queen started again, "What will you sing? Will you release us? Are we to fade away once more?"

Liara pointed to the window, "Look, Shepard, those tanks. Acid. Strong enough to kill anything, no matter its biology. They wouldn't have installed that if they weren't afraid of the consequences of her getting loose, but they made a mistake. They let the Krogan go too far. This is a chance for us to atone. She has done nothing to us."

Shepard sighed and turned again to the window as the queen spoke, "Your companion hears the truth. You have the power to free us or return our people to the silence of memory."

"If I let you live, would you attack other races again?" Shepard asked, it was difficult to tell which way she was leaning.

"No, we – I do not know what happened in the war. We only heard discordance, songs the color of oily shadows. We would seek a hidden place to teach our children harmony. If they understand, perhaps we would return," The queen was arguing for her survival, for the survival of her species.

Shepard stared at the queen for a long time, and Kaidan watched through half-lidded eyes as Liara struggled with not looking to her mother's dead body. "I won't destroy your entire race. You'll go free."

The queen's oddly toned voice was clearly surprised, "You will give us the chance to compose anew? We will remember. We will sing of your forgiveness to our children." Shepard nodded at the queen and moved to the console. She pressed the controls to release the queen. With that completed, she turned to Kaidan and Liara and she helped him stand and they left Rift Station. Once in the Mako, they radioed for Joker to pick them up, bypassing the main facility all together.

Kaidan was still lying in the med-bay. Due to the events of the mission, and the time they had spent planetside, Shepard stated they would have to meet with the crew in the morning. By the time they returned to the ship, the rest of the crew had eaten dinner already. Upon seeing Liara and Shepard supporting Kaidan as they walked, Ashley and Garrus had come to assist with getting him to the med-bay. He could barely keep his eyes open, let alone stand and walk on his own. Liara followed behind them and walked passed them all and locked herself in the space behind the med-bay that she had claimed as her own. She hadn't been seen since.

Kaidan was vaguely aware of what was happening around him. Ashley and Garrus promised to take care of their armor and weapons. After cleaning up from the mission, Shepard had taken dinner to Liara and had been in the back room with her since then. It had been hours but Kaidan was in too much pain to feel jealous, and somewhere in his mind he knew they were talking about Benezia and the events of the day. Kaidan was simply grateful to be horizontal with an arm draped over his eyes, and for the fact that the Doctor kept the bay cooler than the rest of the ship, and that she had shut the lights off when she left him. Now, it was a waiting game. Wait to fall asleep, or to vomit, or for the meds to finally kick in and start easing his torture.

He heard the soft sigh of the door opening, and smelled that familiar floral fragrance. The scent was his favorite but, with this migraine, it still nauseated him. He heard the soft padding of her booted feet on the floor as she tried to walk quietly. Each step was equivalent to a thunder strike just overhead. It cause odd shapes and colors to float before his closed eyes and he winced. He waited to hear the other door open and close at the far end of the room, instead, he felt the bed shift on his right side as Shepard sat next to him. Her right leg was pressed against his hip and his heart raced, causing his head to pound and throb only harder but he no longer cared. "A migraine, right?" She whispered and he barely nodded. There was silence between them then.

Kaidan nearly called out and he jumped when he felt her cold hands on his neck. On instinct alone, his hands snapped to her forearms and pulled them away from his heated skin. She balled her fists to eliminate the contact and he heard her slight gasp through her teeth when he'd startled her. His eyes flew open and found hers, but he didn't release her arms. Her expression betrayed her embarrassment, which was something he'd never seen on her before. Her eyes were wide, cheeks red, and her lip was pinched between her teeth. "Sorry, I'll…" She started to pull her arms away and stand but he held firm.

"No, no," He said shaking his head slightly, ignoring the spinning room and waves of nausea. "You just… startled me," He explained, loosening his grip but not releasing her, not wanting to. "Your hands are cold." He was whispering too, and he let out a breath as she sat on the bed again with a whispered apology. "It's fine, it's nice, actually," He promised.

"I was going to try to help you with the pressure points … the way you did for me," She explained, her gentle voice still a hushed whisper and he realized then he could talk to her like this forever and it would never be enough. Gentle whispers in the dark with just enough light to make out her features – the soft blue sparkle of her eyes, the flush of her cheeks and the glisten on her lips. He offered her a small smile, and she opened her hands again and moved them to his neck. He slid his hands from her forearms to cover hers, and helped guide them to the right position. He tilted his head back when she found it and increased the pressure on the points. He looked to her through half closed eyes as he took deep breaths. She had started by watching her own hands, then they moved to his face and locked on his own eyes. He could see the concern there, and he felt a rush of something warm in his core. He dropped his hands from hers; his left hand hitting the mattress while his right came to land on her left thigh. He was suddenly aware of every place they were touching - his neck, his hip, his hand - and his migraine induced sensory sensitivity made every spot tingle.

His hand opened and curled around her leg, possessively, and his thumb traced a pattern there; much like it had on Feros. She stretched her hands and her thumbs found his temples as she slowly massaged them in circles. He could feel the vibrant energy of her biotics. He enjoyed the way it felt with his own when he really allowed himself to focus on it. His energy was like a deep river, calm on the surface but with the power to pull you under hidden beneath. Hers was nearly the opposite, like the type of river one would go white water rafting on; full of power, exciting, beautiful, and dangerous. It made his heart race and he felt the warmth coat him like a second skin. He closed his eyes then, afraid of what she would see there. After a second, he cleared his throat quietly, "Why are your hands always cold?" His voice was a whisper.

She responded in kind, "Something to do with my implant and regulating my body temperature. My hands have been cold since I got the implant at seventeen." He said nothing then, just enjoyed the physical contact, grateful the doctor had left him alone in here. There was nothing left to say. He focused on his breathing, every breath full of her. He focused on her hands on his neck and face. They were strong and calloused, obviously, but still tender and caring. He focused on the contact he had with her legs, against his hip and in his hand. He wished he could pull her to him and hold her, and he let himself hope that he might have the chance to do that when the time was right.

He wasn't sure how much time passed, but it didn't seem long enough. He was relaxed, more than he had been in a very long time. He could feel his breathing steadying and growing deeper as his eyes drifted closed. His hand lost its grip on her leg, and was just resting there. There was something comforting about her presence. Even on a warship, with her filling his senses, he felt secure. As sleep offered him a pardon from the pain, he could feel her hands move from his neck. He felt her cool hand press against his fevered forehead. Her hand then traced a lazy path down the side of his face. He finally found his reprieve from the migraine. His sleep was filled with dreams of Shepard and what could be, if they survived this mission.