Author's Note: Thank you to all those who favorited or followed the story. Also, I have to say thank you again for the reviews! I love hearing what you think. Please, leave a review and let me know. Enjoy! - TLC

Chapter Twenty

It was mid-morning the next day when Shepard's voice rang out overhead, "Alenko and Williams, get your gear and meet me at the Mako," The order distracted Kaidan from the program he was running at his station. He checked their location on his console and realized they were approaching Ontarom. He closed out the programs and powered down his station before heading down to the cargo bay to suit up. He met Williams at their lockers, and noticed Shepard at the Mako with Garrus. Ashley finished dressing before he did and went to the vehicle. Kaidan finished with his armor and was going to head over as well. Ashley was already inside and Garrus was going over some of the upgrades he'd done to the vehicle's weapons.

He found Shepard's eyes across the bay, and saw her sigh before she started towards him. "Alenko," She spoke and he faced her. "I already told Williams she'll be on the guns, I want you to navigate," She ordered as she lifted her omni-tool and sent him the coordinates. "That's all the information I got from Hackett. He wasn't even sure what kind of defenses the compound had, which is why we're heading down in the Mako," She explained and he nodded.

"Yes, Ma'am," he answered, and she chewed her lip as she looked at him. He couldn't help but notice the nervous energy coming from her. It was in her balled fists at her side, and the way she shifted her weight from foot to foot. He took a step closer to her. He knew he was coming close to crossing the line of her personal space, but her nerves made him wary. After serving with her for this long, he knew she didn't get nervous like this before a mission, and he was suddenly worried about her. "Everything okay, Shepard?" He asked quietly, the concern bright in his whiskey eyes. She took a deep breath.

"When Hackett called yesterday, he told me there was a connection between the dead scientists and… me," She explained, and he could tell he looked confused as she sighed. "Apparently, they were all involved in some kind of classified project on Akuze," She explained, and he felt the realization wash over his face.

"It can't be connected," Kaidan said pure disbelief in his tone and he shook his head, and Shepard seemed to relax for a moment.

"That's what I said to Hackett, but he doesn't seem as sure. He said I could do what I wanted with the information but… how can I not look into it?" She sighed, and rubbed her face with her gloved hands.

"We're behind you, Shepard, we'll get to the bottom of this," He reached out and placed a hand on her arm. She nodded, appreciation showing in the way her shoulders relaxed. He wanted to promise that he was behind her, that he was here for her, but he took the safer route and promised the team's support. That small difference kept him on the right side of the line. It gave him the deniability that would allow a way out. After a silent moment, she nodded her head towards the Mako and they walked together. They stopped at the door and, almost out of habit, performed their usual armor check before climbing in.

"Commander, we're approaching the Drop Zone," Joker announced through the vehicle's comm and the trio secured their harnesses. The bay door opened and they dropped from the ship to the planet's surface. They had given up on getting Shepard to let someone else drive, and after their confrontation with the thresher maw, Kaidan was more than willing to deal with her recklessness if it kept them alive. He was fairly certain no one else could have saved them and the vehicle the way she had.

Kaidan remembered that mission in great detail. He took into consideration the information from Hackett, and he thought about the thresher maw, and Kahoku's men. That distress beacon had been set there on purpose, and there was a sudden tension in his chest. He chewed the inside of his cheek and turned his attention back to the navigation system. After programming the location of the base into the system and starting the scanner to check for hostiles, he sat back and looked at Shepard. He couldn't see most of her face due to the helmet, but he could see her eyes and they were focused and intense. With a silent sigh, he looked back to his console.

"We're coming up on it, Shepard. Should be just over that rise," Kaidan informed her, and she looked over with mischief in her eyes as she drove the Mako straight up the hill. He heard Ashley's gentle 'oof' as she fell back from a standing position. She had been looking out the guns sight. He suppressed a chuckle and held on as the Mako was nearly vertical on the hill and its tires spun for purchase against the rocky ground. It was slow going, but they finally reached the top. There was a plateau halfway down where the underground bunker's entrance was. Kaidan turned off the Navigation and prepped to exit the vehicle as Shepard pulled up at the entrance.

The only part of the underground base that was visible was essentially the roof of the entrance area which was a simple circle of metal with a diameter of about twenty feet. The exposed part of the base was only about as far out of the ground as they were tall. The trio exited the Mako and made a quick perimeter check ensuring their vehicle would be safe after they went inside. They met again at the entrance, and Shepard signaled for Kaidan to hack the lock. After a quick moment's work, the lock turned green and the door opened. They climbed down a ladder and Shepard took point, leading them through the tunnels to the first main room of the base. There was no resistance, at least, not yet. Kaidan ran his scanner and found there were hostiles on the other side of the door, "Seems like we have the right place, Commander," Ashley commented.

Shepard order Ashley and Kaidan to flank the door. Once she opened it, Ashley was to throw a flash/bang grenade to stun the mercenaries on the other side and allow Shepard to take them out while Kaidan followed with his biotics. He was really getting used to using them offensively, and found it was an intense release to use his power in this way. Something else to be grateful to Shepard for. On Shepard's word Kaidan hacked the door, and Shepard opened it. Ashley threw her grenade and Shepard followed seconds later firing precision shots as Ashley and Kaidan trailed after cleaning up anything she may have missed. The room was cleared shortly. That was the beauty of Alliance trained soldiers working together.

Kaidan ran his scan and confirmed that all hostiles were neutralized. They worked their way around the room with careful steps and their weapons raised. Shepard reached a door at the opposite end of the room, and it was locked. She called Kaidan over and stood just behind him, watching him work to hack the door. "You should really learn how to do this, Commander," Kaidan suggested, it was a serious suggestion but he added a tease to his tone.

"I tried, my teachers gave up on me. That's why I always keep a tech-nerd on my ground squad," Shepard answered, and Kaidan chuckled ignoring the attempted insult.

"Maybe you need a more patient teacher," He said as he completed the hack and looked up to the lock on the door as it turned green, allowing them in.

"I'm sure you could teach me a few things," Shepard answered nonchalantly and Kaidan looked down and found her eyes. Her armored chest brushed against his momentarily as she passed him in the narrow doorway as she moved into the hallway. Kaidan's ears burned at her suggestion and his eyes followed her. He felt a smirk tugging on his lips, and was grateful for his helmet when he turned towards Ashley whose eyebrow was raised. Kaidan chose to ignore Ashley's questioning stare and followed Shepard. There was an unlocked door ahead, and Kaidan checked for hostiles. He could see there were a handful of hostiles with weapons raised in the room, but he could also see the hostage. Looks like they'd found the Doctor, and he told Shepard as much.

Shepard opened the door and entered, her pistol pointed at the mercenary in the center of the room. He had his gun pointed to the scientist kneeling in front of him, with his hands behind his head. Kaidan and Ashley flanked Shepard and kept their sights on the two other mercenaries in the room. "Drop your weapon!" She ordered, command thick in her voice as her presence filled the room. It wasn't the first time Kaidan was thankful he was on her side.

The mercenary in the center of the room seemed to panic. He was bouncing on his toes and shaking his free hand at Shepard while his other remained firm on the gun at the scientist's head. His voice trembled as he responded, "Stay back! I've got no grief with you! All I want is this bastard!"

The scientist looked to Shepard, desperation in his eyes and he pleaded, "Please! He's a madman!" Then he turned to his captor, "Mr. Toombs, you're insane! You need help!"

Kaidan could feel the tension coat Shepard. It was like a dulling of the usually vibrant energy he felt from her. She took a step back, and her pistol lowered slightly. With one hand she reached behind her head as Toombs started again at the scientist, "Shut up! You don't get to lie! You don't…" He trailed off as Shepard removed her helmet, her pistol still trained on him. Kaidan spoke her name, but she was beyond hearing him. "Shepard? My god, Shepard, is that you?"

Shepard nodded, "I can't… Toombs? But… I saw you, the thresher maw pulled you under… I saw you die," She voice held the disbelief she felt. It was tinged with sadness and regret as she lowered her pistol more, but Toombs didn't. Toombs just seemed angrier at her words.

Toombs glared at them, and then at the scientist at his feet, "They took me, Shepard. The scientists, like Doctor Murphy here," Toombs's voice was a sneer when he said the doctor's name, and Shepard took a miniscule step back from the situation, trying to gauge what was real.

Dr. Murphy spoke up, "You can't prove any of this! This man is delusional!" He sounded even more frightened now, and the desperation was choking him as his face twisted in fear.

Toombs started again, his voice rough, "See, they were running tests on the thresher maws. They let those things hit us just to watch and study… I woke up in a holding cell. The scientists were delighted I'd survived. Now they had someone to run tests on." He still had his helmet on, but Kaidan could swear he saw tears fill his eyes and spill over.

Shepard's voice was distant, "I – I didn't see anybody, if I'd seen you… Toombs, you have to know that I'd have come back for you. I swear," She was begging for some kind of absolution from him, and Kaidan's heart felt heavy as he watched.

Dr. Murphy's voice was shrill when he yelled, "You can't believe Toombs! He doesn't have any proof! I demand a fair trial!" Shepard turned her burning gaze to the scientist as she flared, her body sheathed in the cerulean glow of her power. Kaidan was sure, this time, it wasn't for show. She turned her eyes to the Doctor.

"She was there, you bastard! She knows the truth!" Toombs yelled, he sounded crazy. He looked back to Shepard, "They're part of some organization, Cerberus, which runs secret tests like this. They treated me like a lab animal. This man deserves to die, Shepard. For you, for me, for everyone else in the unit! Are you with me?"

Shepard dropped her weapon, and holstered it. Kaidan and Ashley kept theirs on the extra mercenaries in the room. She took a step closer to her friend; her squad mate, she had called them family when she had spoken about them to Kaidan. "You're better than this, Toombs. You're not like them."

His eyes turned icy and he glared at Shepard, "Don't tell me who I am! You got away with a few scratches and a scary reputation! The rest of the unit died, and I was tortured for years, Shepard! You can't judge me. You don't have the right."

She let out a deep sigh, and her shoulders fell, "You're right, Toombs. You have to know that if I could've helped you on Akuze, I would have. We were close, weren't we? All of us," She took another step closer to the man, "Remember when we would all sit around in the evening and talk about the things we missed about home? Shafer, he missed the music on Earth. He said everything out here had an odd digital sound to it. Fantrazzo, she missed her kids. She used to talk to us about the trouble they'd get into and she always had pictures on her 'tool. McKay, he missed his mom's cooking," Shepard blessed him with a wide smile, but it still looked a little sad to Kaidan. "What was the meal she always used to make for him when he'd go home for leave?"

Toombs stared at her for a long time before he whispered, "Pot roast and noodles."

"Right! That's right, Toombs. I couldn't help you on Akuze and I couldn't help any of them. I don't think any of them want you to do this. This isn't right, you have to know that. Don't you? All I can do is help now, Toombs. Let me," Shepard pleaded and took another step closer, she placed her hand on his extended arm; the arm that held the gun on the doctor. They kept eye contact for a long time, at least it felt like a long time to Kaidan.

Toombs finally spoke, his voice thick with tears already spent and the ones he was holding back, "Okay, I'm no murderer. They couldn't make me one," Toombs lowered his arm and turned to Shepard, "Just as long as he goes to trial," He asked and Shepard promised him he would. Toombs nodded and sunk to the floor. "Maybe the screaming will stop now. I don't know…" Shepard crouched down in front of him and spoke softly to him. Kaidan secured the mercenaries against the wall while Ashley secured the Doctor.

Shepard stood after a minute, and radioed the Normandy, "Joker, tell the Fifth Fleet we need a ship for a pick-up." Joker answered in the affirmative, and then responded shortly after stating Admiral Hackett would be sending a ship to pick them up and it would be there within the hour.

Shepard was sitting with Toombs while they waited. They were talking quietly with their heads close. Kaidan watched from across the room as she comforted, and sought forgiveness from, her friend. Ashley came up next to him, "Tough day, huh?" She asked and Kaidan nodded.

"I don't remember the last easy day we had, Ash," Kaidan commented, finally tearing his eyes from Shepard and looking at the Chief.

"Makes me think about that thresher maw you took out a couple weeks ago? Think it's that Cerberus group?" She asked as she holstered her weapon.

"What are the odds there's two groups out there luring Alliance soldiers to thresher maw nests?" Kaidan asked her with a raised eyebrow and Ashley shook her head as the door to the room opened and Captain Jennings of the SSV Cherbourg marched in. Kaidan and Ashley snapped to attention and Shepard stood to do the same, just a little slower.

Jennings returned the salute they offered and waved a hand about the room, signaling for them to relax and Ashely and Kaidan did as the Military Police came in to take custody of the mercenaries left alive and the Doctor. Williams followed the MP out of the room to make her way back to the Mako, and Kaidan was just behind her, "Alenko!" Shepard's voice rang out.

He turned, "Commander?"

"Escort Corporal Toombs to the Cherbourg. Their Doctor will be waiting for you at their airlock," She stated and Kaidan saluted and answered in the affirmative. He walked over and offered a hand to the broken man, and avoided eye contact with Shepard as he turned to lead him from the room leaving Shepard and Jennings alone.

Once they were back on the Normandy, Shepard went to her quarters and hadn't been seen since. Kaidan was worried about her. Within the last few weeks she had come face to face with a lot of her demons, and he just hoped she was finding closure and not reopened wounds. He needed to take his mind off her. There was nothing he could do. Certainly not while she was hidden away in her quarters. With a sigh, his shift came to an end and he powered down his station. He went to the mess and found Wrex, Liara, and Garrus at a table already eating.

Garrus waved him over and he filled his tray before making his way over to the table. He joined the group and Wrex was the first to comment on the amount of food he had. "Honestly, it's the biotics. I'm using them more often and in ways I haven't in years. If I don't refuel, I'll crash and be completely useless," Kaidan explained.

"Your biotics are coming along nicely," Wrex complimented in his gruff voice. "Williams said in that last fight, it looked like you even surprised yourself." Wrex leaned back in the chair, and Kaidan heard it creak beneath his weight. He wasn't able to respond as he had a mouthful of food.

"Your biotic skills are extremely impressive, Kaidan. I rarely see anyone with your level of ability," Garrus offered while Kaidan swallowed and took a drink.

"Thank you. I always held back a little when I used my powers on moving targets. I guess, out of a fear of hurting someone. After what I saw on Eden Prime, I'm not holding back anymore, not against the geth, not against anyone," Kaidan explained, looking between the aliens he was eating with. If you had told him six months ago, he would be in this very position, he would have called a doctor for you.

"Shepard had something to do with it, too. Is that right?" Liara asked softly. Kaidan looked to the Asari and was grateful she had ventured out of her hole for a meal. It was the first time he'd really spoken to her since Noveria.

"Yeah," Kaidan nodded, "She did." Liara lifted her eyes and found Kaidan's. Kaidan knew some of the crew were still wary of her. Kaidan had to admit he was impressed by her. She's not a soldier. She's a scientist. It was her mother's actions, not her own, that got her caught up in this whirlwind mission. Yet, she didn't back down or hide away from it. She was on the forefront of the fight, doing what she could to help. Even though it meant taking a kill shot no child should ever have to take. Liara nodded, and dropped her eyes from his. She was hiding it as best she could, but she still seemed broken. He could only hope that eventually the wounds would heal.

"You've got impressive biotic power. Humans should never have switched to the weaker L3 implant," Wrex scolded, disappointment in his voice and Kaidan looked over to him.

"Well, my headaches can be pretty bad, and I'm one of the lucky L2 implants. The L3s are safer," Kaidan defended his race and their decision to switch.

Wrex's gravelly voice sounded annoyed when he responded, "You don't stop using a gun just because the kickback has a little sting."

"No," Kaidan said, "You don't. However, if just having the gun in your hand could take your own head off, or make you take kill shots at friendlies… you stop using the gun." Wrex turned his head slightly and trained one red eye on Kaidan who returned the stare. Kaidan could feel Garrus and Liara's eyes moving back and forth between the two of them, but he didn't look away.

"The Asari don't need the implants," Liara offered as a way to ease the unexpected tension and Kaidan turned his head away from the Krogan.

"Really? Then I'm surprised more Asari don't use biotics," Kaidan commented as he finished the last few bites of his meal.

"Well, while we have the natural biotic ability, not all have the desire to learn to use their abilities effectively," Liara explained with a shrug.

"I can't imagine having the ability without needing the implants and choosing not to learn," Kaidan shook his head as he spoke. Liara tilted her head at him.

"Can all humans play the piano?" Liara asked him, and Kaidan could feel the confusion play on his features.

"Can we? Yeah, all humans could play piano, but not all humans learn how – I see what you did there," Kaidan said with a grin and Liara smiled back.

"It is exactly the same. I can see why it would be shocking to hear that not all of my people learn to use their biotics, but we have had the capability for millennia. Humans have not had the same opportunities," Liara answered simply. "I believe the phrase is 'like a kid on Christmas,' is that right?" Liara asked, and Kaidan nodded.

"Yeah, that's right," Kaidan answered and was glad when Liara smiled, it brightened her eyes if only for a moment. Kaidan's omni-tool went off, and he excused himself to read the message. Joker was asking for help with one of the consoles in the cockpit again. "Duty calls," Kaidan said as he stood, and wished the group a good evening before heading up to help the pilot.