Author's Note: I'll start by thanking Jules Hawk and Vorcha Girl for reviewing the last chapter. I got quite a bit of writing done last weekend, so I have another chapter ready for you. Remember, this is Kaidan's point of view... that's all I'll say for now... Enjoy. - TLC
Chapter Thirty-One
After what felt like forever, the Mako tumbled out the other end of the Mass Relay into the Presidium of the Citadel. It rolled a few times before finally coming to a rest on its top. Their straps and buckles held them into their seats and in the sudden silence only their ragged, fearful, breathing could be heard. Kaidan swallowed a few times, not sure if it was bile or his heart he felt at the back of his throat as he looked around. Everyone seemed to be okay, it was a second later when Shepard asked.
Garrus and Kaidan said they were fine, and Shepard was the first to unbuckle. She fell roughly to the ceiling turned floor of the vehicle, landing on her side. The door was stuck shut. Lying on her back, she kicked hard and heard the metal start to buckle. Its integrity already damaged and weakened by the crash. Another sound kick to the same spot, with the heels of both feet and the door opened enough for her to crawl through. She withdrew her pistol and slithered out on her back. Kaidan let himself fall next and followed her lead out of the Mako.
They turned back to the vehicle and both pulled at the door to give Garrus the space needed to follow. Shepard opened her omni-tool and ran her own scan of the station. "Saren's headed towards the Council Chamber," She announced and Kaidan asked how she knew. "A scanner with Spectre authority," She answered as she powered down her tool and brought up her rifle. She kept her eye on the scope as she signaled them to follow her towards the Tower.
Luckily, they weren't far from the elevator that would take them to the Council Chamber. It seemed odd that there was so much damage to the station, but the elevator was still functioning. Kaidan took note of the steadiness of Shepard's hand as she reached out and called the elevator. They crossed the threshold and waited as the car lifted them. There was no way to know if they were too late. Hopefully, they'd still be able to stop Saren. Shepard's comm lit up and she lifted her 'tool. Her face lit up as she read the message she received, "Joker met up with Hackett and the Fifth Fleet. I knew he could do it." Kaidan was relieved to know there was back up nearby, should they need it.
By the time the elevator doors opened for them, Saren had reached the control panel. He had already started closing the Citadel arms to seal the station. If the ships nearby couldn't keep Sovereign out, there would be no stopping it from taking over the station and allowing the Reaper fleet access. From the comm chatter, it was clear the Council had underestimated Sovereign's strength. They were losing ships far faster than expected. Shepard exchanged a glance with her crew clearly saying they should have listened without words. They all knew now was not the time for 'I told you so.' That time would come later. They left the elevator and started at a run towards Saren as the Citadel arms closed, locking in Sovereign. They were running out of time.
As they approached the Council area, Saren's geth troopers attempted to hold them up. The desperation felt by Shepard and her ground team over powered anything the geth could do. They plowed through the geth, their focus tunneled on Saren. They reached the top of the Council Chamber just in time to watch Saren finish at the console and drop off the ledge on his hover board. They stood, and waited, pistols aimed at the last place they'd seen him; waiting for him to reappear.
When he did, he threw a grenade at their feet that detonated on impact. Though they dove for cover, it was still enough to rattle them and deplete their shields. They remained in cover to allow them to recharge. "I was afraid you wouldn't make it in time, Shepard," Saren goaded her, Kaidan glanced over and watched as the anger hardened her features.
"In time for what?" She snapped, glowing blue momentarily.
"The final confrontation," He answered smugly, "I think we both expected it would end like this." His voice was echoing off the walls making it difficult to tell exactly where he was. Kaidan looked to Garrus who raised from cover long enough to check. He hadn't moved. He was still hovering between them, and the main console. "You've lost. You know that, don't you? In a few minutes, Sovereign will have full control of all the Citadel's systems. The relay will open. The Reapers will return."
"Don't count me out just yet, Saren. I've still got a few tricks up my sleeve," She countered, egging him on.
"You may have survived our encounter on Virmire, but I've changed since then. Improved. Sovereign has … upgraded me," He announced and Kaidan felt his stomach roll.
"What have you done? You're insane!" Shepard responded, laughing humorlessly and shaking her head.
"I suppose I should thank you, Shepard. After Virmire, I couldn't stop thinking about what you said about Saren manipulating me, about indoctrination. The doubt began to eat away at me. Sovereign sensed my hesitation. I was implanted with their technology to strengthen my resolve. Now, my doubts are gone. I believe in Sovereign completely. I understand that the Reapers need organics. Join us, and Sovereign will find a place for you, too," Saren offered, the condescension in his voice made Kaidan's stomach churn. He looked to Garrus who moved quietly away from him, in an attempt to flank the rogue Spectre.
"Sovereign is controlling you through your implants. How can you not see that?" Shepard shot back, she sounded almost disappointed. If the Reapers could get to Saren, it spoke volumes of their power. They had to stop him.
"No, the relationship is symbiotic. Organic and machine intertwined, a union of flesh and steel. The strengths of both, the weaknesses of neither. I am a vision of the future, Shepard. The evolution of all organic life. This is our destiny. Join Sovereign and experience a true rebirth!" Saren responded, his voice rising in his conviction.
"I would rather die than live like that," Shepard answered softly.
"Then you will die, and your companions! Everyone you know and love. Everyone you've ever met. Don't you understand? You will all die!" Saren was screaming, his anger and frustration boiling over. It almost seemed as if he was hoping to validate his decision by convincing her to join him. "The Reapers can't be stopped; not by the Protheans, not by you. The cycle always continues."
"Sovereign hasn't won yet! I can stop it from taking control of the station! Step aside and the invasion will never happen!" Shepard answered, leaning momentarily out of cover to look at the Turian.
"We can't stop it! Not forever! You saw the visions. You saw what happened to the Protheans. The Reapers are too powerful," Saren didn't sound so sure. He sounded almost defeated, resigned to his fate.
"Some part of you must still realize this is wrong. You can fight this!" Shepard promised, hoping to awaken some of Saren's sense of self.
The area was silent for a long moment before Saren spoke, "Maybe you're right. Maybe there is still a chance for… unh…" His sentence ended in a groan and Shepard looked to Kaidan who leaned out of cover and watched as Saren's hands went to his head. "No… the implants… Sovereign is too strong. I'm sorry, Shepard. It's too late for me," His voice was quiet and broken as he held his head in his taloned hands.
Shepard stood quickly and ran out towards him. Kaidan followed. "No! Saren, it's not. You can still redeem yourself!"
"Goodbye, Shepard. Thank you," Saren said simply as he put the business end of his pistol to his jaw and pulled the trigger. The back of his skull flew off followed by a stream of blue blood, like the tail of a comet. It happened before anyone could speak or react. The Turian fell from his hover board and crashed through the glass floor. His lifeless body landed in an unnatural twist.
There was no time to respond, Shepard ran for the console with Kaidan at her heels and Garrus bringing up the rear. She stepped out of the way and let Kaidan forward to activate the console and upload the information from Vigil. After a moment, Kaidan announced, "It worked. I've got control of all systems."
"Open the arms!" Shepard ordered and Kaidan was already processing the command before she finished speaking.
"Maybe the fleet can take Sovereign down before he regains control of the station," Garrus responded as his mandibles twitched. There were a lot of maybes.
"See if you can open a communications channel," Shepard ordered and Kaidan nodded as his hands flew over the console.
As soon as the channel was open, a frantic, feminine voice rang out, "… the Destiny Ascension. Main drives offline. Kinetic barriers down 40%. The Council is on board, I repeat, the Council is on board!"
"Normandy to the Citadel," Joker's voice was next on the comm. "Normandy to the Citadel. Please, tell me that's you, Commander."
"I'm here, Joker," Shepard said leaning over the console, her shoulder bumping against Kaidan's as she reached to activate the microphone to respond.
"We caught that distress call, Commander," Joker offered with a relieved sigh, "I'm sitting here in the Andura sector with the entire Arcturus fleet. We can save the Ascension. Just unlock the relays around the Citadel and we'll send the cavalry in!"
"Human casualties will be very high if you send your fleet in now," Garrus reminded her, his voice soft, giving information only; not trying to sway her. She dropped her head with the weight of the decision on her shoulders.
"Shepard," Kaidan started and she turned her head to look at him. Her indecisive blue eyes met his sure, brown ones and he continued, "This is bigger than humanity. Sovereign, the Reapers, are a threat to every organic species in the galaxy."
"He's right. That's why you can't waste reinforcements trying to save the Council. You must hold them back until the Citadel arms open up and the human fleet can go after Sovereign," Garrus pushed, and Kaidan could tell, now he was trying to push her.
"Commander! What's the order?" Joker asked after the comm was silent for longer than he was comfortable with. Shepard's eyes didn't leave Kaidan's. He didn't know what she was looking for, but he needed her to know he would support whatever decision she made.
She moved her hand to open her end of the comm, and keeping her gaze on Kaidan's she responded, "Opening the relays now, Joker," Kaidan pulled his eyes away to enter the command into the console to open the relays. His breathing light now that the decision had been made. He would have supported any decision she had made, but he truly felt this was the right one. "We need to save the Ascension – no matter what the cost!"
Once the decision was made, Shepard and Kaidan turned to Garrus who shrugged, "I just hope the Council appreciates this." They left the comm open so they could hear what happened outside of the Citadel. Hackett's voice was next on the comm, repeating her order for the Alliance ships to move in and save the Ascension.
They heard the voice that sent out the distress signal, "Commander – we're picking up reinforcements! It's the Alliance! Thank the Goddess!" Shepard's lips pulled into a small smile and Kaidan felt the warmth of it spread in his gut, no doubt in his mind that they had made the right decision.
The pride in Joker's voice was unmistakable as he spoke next, "Destiny Ascension, you are all clear. Repeat: you are all clear." Hackett gave the next order as the arms opened. The fleets turned their attention to Sovereign. Shepard moved away from the console then, and Kaidan watched her go over his shoulder.
She went to the spot where Saren had fallen through the floor and looked down at his body. Garrus and Kaidan came up behind her a moment later. "Go, make sure he's dead," She ordered quietly. Kaidan and Garrus moved away and dropped down to the level below. Garrus pulled out his pistol and shot him twice more; once in the chest and once in the head.
Seconds later the Tower shook beneath their feet. Red lightening shot around the room, like the power that surged around Sovereign. The dead Spectre's body lifted. The organic parts fell away leaving just the Reaper implants. The power rushed out knocking both Garrus and Kaidan to their backs. The floor beneath Shepard's feet collapsed and she turned her fall into a roll ending on all fours on the same level as the resurrected Spectre.
It had no weapon just the electrical energy glowing bright crimson in its exposed, metallic ribcage. Shepard looked around and found Garrus and Kaidan on their feet moving to cover. It may not have had a gun, but it was fast as it nearly flew from wall to wall, shooting the electricity at them. They recognized Sovereign's voice from Virmire when it spoke through Saren's remains, "I am Sovereign! This station is MINE!"
It was hard to keep a lock on it, and one shot of electricity would wipe out their shields. Shepard cursed as they ducked behind cover again, waiting for them to recharge. Their biotics were ineffective. Kaidan looked to Garrus and gave the signal for a dual-tech attack. Hopefully, between their sabotage and overload abilities they would be able to stun it enough for Shepard to take it out with her rifle.
At the count of three, they left cover and sent the attack. It worked, for a moment. Shepard was able to inflict some damage before it recovered and took off bouncing around the room. It was as if this thing was buying time to allow the Reaper to regain access to the station. They moved around the room, staying in cover and waiting a moment before repeating the same tactic to stun, then attack.
The battle seemed to last forever. Shepard was low on ammo, and Kaidan's omni-tool was burning at his wrist from overuse. He thought maybe Saren was slowing down, and it sounded kind of rough as it moved. He hoped he wasn't imagining it. He gave the signal and Garrus and he moved simultaneously, standing and firing their attacks. Shepard stood while it was stunned and unloaded her last clip into it. Mercifully, it let out a strangled sound and the red light grew brighter as it froze. Slowly, it disintegrated. The miniscule pieces floating off into the air. The let themselves fall until they were seated next to each other with their backs against their cover.
They weren't sure what was happening outside the Tower and Shepard opened her omni-tool to try to communicate with the Normandy. Joker's voice rang out, "Its shields are down! Now's our chance!"
"Hit it with everything we've got!" Hackett's rough baritone followed and Kaidan's breath stuck in his throat as they waited. They could hear the battle raging outside the tower, and knew it would be over shortly, one way or another. Garrus and Kaidan stood and Kaidan held his hand out for Shepard. She looked up at him, the look in her eyes unreadable. She slid her hand in his and he pulled her to her feet. They started walking towards the windows.
"Hard on my flank! We're going in!" Joker sounded excited, finally getting the opportunity to put the Normandy through her paces. Seconds later the Tower rocked with the force of an enormous explosion.
"Go!" Shepard screamed the order, panic lacing her words. It was the fear in her voice that scared Kaidan into running. Garrus was in front of him and Shepard was bringing up the rear. He looked over his shoulder and saw a large piece of what was Sovereign heading right towards the window that they had been looking through. He called her name, and after that he wasn't sure what happened. He and Garrus had managed to slide behind a section of falling floor which offered some protection. He opened his eyes, and found Garrus beside him. They were surrounded by broken pieces of the station.
"Where is…" He stuttered as he looked around. It was dark. They were in an air pocket and there was no way they'd be able to get out without help from the outside. His hands shook as he opened his omni-tool and ran his medic program, looking for a signal from Shepard's hardsuit. "Where is Shepard…?" He asked, stunned at the despair in his own voice when the program came back with no signal. He powered it down as his breathing became more erratic. He opened the program and ran it again. Same answer: No signal.
He felt bile at the back of his throat as he ran the program half a dozen more times. Each time, no signal. He tried to tell himself that no signal didn't mean she had died, just that her suit had been damaged. Yet, the kind of damage the suit would have to sustain to kill the system would be serious enough that even if she was alive, she probably wouldn't be for long.
He jumped when Garrus's taloned hand touched his shoulder. Garrus just shook his head, more willing to accept the answer than he was. Kaidan said nothing. He powered down his omni-tool and closed his eyes. His head fell back against the wall behind them. "Are you injured?" Kaidan asked the Turian.
"Scrapes, I'm fine," Garrus answered. "You?"
"I'm fine," Kaidan lied. Well, it wasn't really a lie. He was experiencing intense chest pain, but he knew that was not a physical injury. He closed his eyes. His 'tool was broadcasting their location to the Alliance ships in the area. They would have to wait for the rescue team.
The silence that fell on them was deafening. Kaidan kept his eyes closed. He could feel the hot sting of tears behind his eyes and refused to let them fall. He let his mind drift to the night before. He hadn't let himself think about it since he'd left her quarters this morning. He had been convinced they'd have more time.
A sated silence had fallen on her room as the glow of their biotics dimmed. Their breathing was erratic. Their skin sweat slickened and hot. His arms were around her, their bodies pressed close together. He opened his eyes and found her watching him. A satisfied smile pulling at her full lips. He knew it was cliché, but he didn't care. He had never felt like this before – so contented, so whole. He lowered his head, resting his ear over her heartbeat. He could hear it loud and strong as it slowed to normal. Her hands cradled his head against her chest, her fingers running through his damp hair, nails scratching lightly at his scalp.
Once he'd had his fill of the lovely rhythm she produced, he lifted his head and met her eyes. He wanted to say something, but there were no words. As if she knew, she moved her hands to cup his face and brought hers to meet his in a lazy kiss. He sighed into it. It was a slow kiss, a long kiss. It was perfect. He knew if he could spend the rest of his life in this moment, it would be enough. The kiss ended and without releasing her completely, he shifted off her and came to rest on his side next to her, his arm still draped over her midsection. His hand traced a lazy pattern on her toned abdomen. She sighed deeply and rolled her back to him. He wrapped that arm around her tighter, and pulled her to him. Her back pressed snugly against his chest. Their legs tangled. With her head pillowed on his arm, he felt sleep pulling at his eyes. She linked her hand with his on her waist, and he felt her body relax as she sighed. It didn't take long for her breathing to deepen. Her jaw went slack and opened slightly. He pulled her closer and pressed a kiss to her bare shoulder. Moments after she did, he fell into the most peaceful slumber he'd ever had.
He'd woken before she did. They hadn't moved much as they'd slept, both too content and comfortable to need to. He looked down at her. She was truly the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. The soft lines of her face held a perfect femininity. He knew her eyes and the way they would sparkle. He knew if you looked hard enough, if she let you, her eyes would tell you exactly what she was thinking. He knew the way her cheeks would pink when he complimented her. He knew the way the corner of her mouth would twitch when she tried to hide a smile. He knew her smile, the way it would light up a room, let alone her face. The way it would make his heart race and his hands sweat.
He knew he was in trouble.
With a deep sigh, he released her. He gently moved her off his arm and out of his embrace, without waking her. He moved slowly so he wouldn't disturb her. He swung his legs over the side of her bed and stood, moving as silently as he could. He gathered his clothes, and dressed. Once he was appropriate enough to leave her quarters and sneak to his pod he turned to look at her. She had wrapped her arms around her pillow and had pulled it against her naked chest. He couldn't help it. He walked over to the bed and pulled the blanket up around her shoulders. He didn't want to leave, but he looked at his 'tool and saw that day cycle would be starting in a few short hours and when it did it would have to be like this had never happened.
She had to be his Commander, not his lover. He had to put the memory of the way she felt, the way she sounded, the way she looked beneath him out of his mind until this was settled. He leaned over and kissed her temple. In her sleep, she leaned her head into his kiss and he was tempted to crawl back into bed with her and never leave.
He was nothing if not controlled. He stood, and left her quarters without looking back.
If he had known that by the following day she would be gone, he would have stayed. Now, he sat with Garrus waiting for the rescue squad. Waiting for the information from his medic program to be confirmed. Fighting against the heated knot in his throat. If he opened his mouth, he wasn't sure if he would cry or vomit.
Shepard was gone.
Author's Note: A little angsty, I know, and again I know I strayed a bit from canon. That's going to happen over the next couple chapters because I will be writing their shore leave, which obviously wasn't covered in the games. Hopefully, more soon ... - TLC