Author's Note: I will start again by thanking those who commented on the last chapter: gogogeisha, Elissa Theirin, Jules Hawk, RBurger, PillarsofNormandy, Jules 941, Vorcha Girl, and the guest. I am so glad you're enjoying their shore leave as much as I loved letting them have their time off. That being said, it continues. Enjoy! - TLC

Chapter Thirty-Five

Kaidan finished packing his bags and took one last look around his now empty room. Over the last week, he had managed to convince his mom that it was time to pack away his childhood items, and create a more adult space for his visits home. He had more difficulty parting with some of the items than he would have liked to admit. In fact, he had two boxes shipped to his quarters on Arcturus: one with his books, the other with the broken omni-tools and schematics. He told himself there may have been something of value in there, though part of him knew there wouldn't be.

He closed the door as he left and headed down the stairs. He was going to HQ for the ceremony for Shepard, with just one pit stop on the way. He dropped his bags near the door and peered through the window. His cab had not yet arrived. His mom came up behind him and he turned towards her. When he noticed the tears glistening in her eyes, he hugged her tight, and she sighed deeply. "Don't wait so long for your next visit, you hear me?" She ordered before she pulled away.

"I won't. I promise," he declared and she buttoned up his jacket for him and adjusted the pins of his rank. He smiled at her, "I love you, Mom," He stated and she cupped his face and kissed his cheek whispering her response in his ear. She pulled back as the cab honked, and her lip trembled.

His dad came over from the other room, "Alright, Lisa, the boy's got some place to be. He'll call soon, right Kaidan?" He asked and Kaidan nodded sending Alex a grateful smile. Lisa stepped out of the way and watched as her husband hugged their son. "Take care of yourself," Alex commanded, and Kaidan nodded as Alex clapped his back lightly. Kaidan sighed and grabbed his bags, he turned and left the comfort of his parent's home. He didn't look back. He knew his mom would be standing at the window, watching him, with his father standing just behind her with his hand on her shoulder. He dropped his bags in the trunk and climbed into the sky car.

Kaidan sat uncomfortably in the crowd assembled before the stage at Alliance HQ. The space was filled with the soft hum of conversation as they waited for the ceremony to begin. Kaidan wasn't sure if the discomfort came from his anxiety or the combination of his Dress Blues and the metal chair he was currently seated on. He was sandwiched between Joker and Dr. Chakwas, the two most observant members of the Normandy's crew. If this event had taken place a week earlier, he wouldn't have been so concerned about his proximity to the pilot and the Doctor. It would be more difficult now.

At the risk of sounding cliché, this past week had been one of the happiest weeks he'd had in recent memory. After Kaidan had taken Shepard the Chinese and spent the night, she had left the invitation open for him to return. Just as long as he brought a change of clothes. She had teased that it unbecoming of an Alliance officer to leave a hotel in the same clothes he had entered the night before. Her schedule that day hadn't been too crazy, and she had expected to be home by 1800. With that in mind, he'd left his parent's house an hour prior, with a change of clothes, and beat her to her room. He smiled to himself as he hacked the door without setting off the hotel's security system. He'd set his bag down just inside the door and went to work in the kitchenette.

He was in the kitchen, plating the Italian food he'd brought with him when he heard the door open. Instead of alarm or concern over the presence in her room, he heard her bright, rich laugh and he grinned. He was still grinning when she turned the corner and found him setting the plates on the coffee table in the living room area. She walked over to him and wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face against his chest. He folded his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. "Smells delicious," She commented and he pulled back as she looked up at him. She stood on her toes and kissed him quickly. "Food smells good, too," She said with a smirk and they sat together and ate.

The rest of the week had gone about the same. They would go their separate ways in the morning, but would end up back together in the evening. There was something comforting about it; domestic, even. He liked it. Now, he had to pretend it hadn't happened.

His attention was brought back to the stage when the typical Alliance pomp and circumstance began. Horns blaring, and flags flying as the honor guard marched out. Politicians and Alliance Brass followed. Shepard was the last to appear, bringing up the rear and taking her place near the edge of the stage. She'd opted to wear the skirt tonight with her Blues, instead of the pants, and Kaidan's eyes drifted too often to her legs. The skirt was modest, falling to her knees, but Kaidan had already seen what was underneath. He had a hard time focusing, and when his eyes found the amusement in hers, he had the feeling she knew exactly what he'd been thinking.

He cleared his throat and shifted as the first speaker came to the podium. Admiral Hackett spoke about Shepard's bravery after Akuze. The decorum she'd displayed as she handled the issue with Cerberus. He spoke of her reputation as a soldier with a "get the job done" attitude, and the words felt empty to Kaidan. She was so much more than that. The situation with Cerberus had taken its toll on her, had he really been the only one to notice or was it only because she had let him see?

Ambassador Udina spoke next, and Kaidan shifted in his seat as the man's nasally voice rang out over the large room. Udina spoke of her work with him and the Council and how it was their combined efforts that ultimately led to Saren's defeat. Kaidan's eyes flicked to Shepard, then, and he could have sworn he'd seen her roll her eyes. He bit back a grin. Truthfully, though, one would think Udina was speaking at a ceremony for himself the way he twisted the events. Thankfully, he didn't speak long. At this point, Joker leaned over and thanked Kaidan for talking him out of the award after Therum.

Anderson was up next. The pride the Captain, turned Councilor, felt was clearly visible as he stood tall behind the podium. He turned his torso and looked at Shepard with a grin on his face. Shepard dropped her eyes to her hands in her lap; Kaidan knew she would be twisting her hands and probably picking at her nails. "I have had the privilege of knowing Sloan Shepard since she was a young girl, traumatized by the events on her home," Anderson started speaking and he turned his eyes out over the crowd. "She took the negative experience and made it a positive. She worked hard; she persevered. She dedicated her life to the Alliance. She reached N7 because she is strong, daring, and capable in battle. She was chosen as the first human Spectre because she has shown, over the course of her career, an ability to make hard, fast decisions. If the first eleven years of her service are any indication, I think it's clear Commander Sloan Shepard will have quite the extraordinary career with the Alliance," He paused and looked down to the award in his hands. "To honor her past achievements, her induction into the Spectre ranks, and her success in bringing down Saren and saving the Council, we would like to honor you with the Star of Terra award," Anderson turned slightly to look at Shepard. She stood and walked towards him.

She saluted him, and he returned it before handing her award. He gestured to the podium for her to speak. She looked at the award, then at Anderson, before taking her spot and looking over those in attendance. "Thank you. I am truly humbled by this honor. Honestly, I haven't done it all alone. I have had the opportunity to serve with some of the finest soldiers in the Alliance, and this award is for them as well. For those we lost: Corporal Richard Jenkins, Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, the crews of the Shenyang, Emden, Jakarta, Cairo, Seoul, Cape Town, Warsaw, and Madrid which were lost in the Battle of the Citadel. I would not have had the success I have had if not for my brothers and sisters in uniform. I don't know what my future holds, but I can promise this: The Alliance is my home, and so long as I am alive I will serve and protect humanity to the best of my abilities. Thank you," She said. Her words were more somber than expected, but still heartfelt and truthful. Those in attendance applauded as the honor guard led them from the stage.

Kaidan watched as she left the stage, her eyes on the award in her hands and a small smile on her lips. The group dispersed into the next room where a cocktail hour had been set up. Glasses of champagne and wine were being served. Kaidan stood with Joker, Dr. Chakwas, Engineer Adams, and Pressly and spoke about their leave so far. "Are you heading to Arcturus now?" Joker asked Kaidan.

"No, I'm going to be staying in Vancouver for the remainder," He answered, "My family's here." It was a half-truth. He was staying in Vancouver but it had nothing to do with his family. Shepard and he had decided to take advantage of the Alliance's hospitality and stay in her suite for the next week. At that, his eyes scanned the room and he spotted Shepard, a glass of wine in hand, speaking with Hackett and his wife, as well as Admirals Johnson and O'Connor. He turned his attention back to the small talk around him, hoping no one had noticed his momentary distraction.

They continued to mingle as the old style brass band started up from their spot in the corner. Slowly, the married couples in the room made their way to the center as they danced to the gentle music. Joker snorted and made an offhand comment Kaidan barely heard. He had found Shepard, off to the side of the room. For once, not being surrounded by those demanding her attention. He thought for a moment, as he watched her sip her wine that he should ask her to dance. He worried, though. Would it be proper for him to ask her? He felt a battle inside that he hadn't entertained in a long while, between the man and the soldier. He wanted to take her in his arms and twirl her around the room, but there were too many eyes on her.

His decision was made for him when Anderson went to her and extended his hand. Her face lit up, and Kaidan felt the burn of irrational jealousy in his chest as she slid her hand into Anderson's and set her wine glass down. He should have asked her. Anderson brought her to the center of the room and placed his right hand on her waist. He took her right hand in his left, and held it out as her left hand rested on his shoulder. She was grinning radiantly as he started leading her around the floor. They were light on their feet and moved together perfectly. He remembered what she'd told him about how Anderson had groomed her for N school; dance classes. As they glided gracefully across the room, it was obvious they had paid off.

Kaidan engaged in small talk as the evening wound down. He kept an eye on Shepard, and when he noticed her slip out of the room towards the exit, he began extricating himself from his conversation. Shortly after she'd disappeared, he'd followed. He hailed a cab and it took him to her hotel. He was glad the formality was over. The event tonight marked the beginning of her official leave, and he was anxious to spend the uninterrupted time with her. Mercifully, the cab ride was short and he stopped and gathered his bags from the concierge, tipping him before making his way to Shepard's room.

He reached her door and knocked. She opened it after a moment and he leaned down and kissed her; just because he could. She smiled and moved into the room as he set his bags down inside the door. She'd already stripped off her jacket, kicked off her shoes, and peeled off her tights. Her blouse was untucked and hung over her skirt. "What? You weren't in the mood to just hack the door today?" She teased as she pulled the pins from her hair and let it fall down her back.

"Not while you're here," He answered closing the door behind him, "That would be rude." She scoffed and he followed her into the bedroom. He unbuttoned his coat and hung it as she stood at the mirror brushing out her hair. "Did you have a good time tonight?" He asked her as he continued to remove his dress uniform.

"Yeah, I guess," She answered and she turned, her elbows rested on the dresser top as she leaned against it.

"You guess?"

"Well, I kept waiting for this gorgeous Lieutenant to ask me to dance and he never did," She said with faux disappointment in her voice and she was failing to hide a smirk. He turned towards her and chewed the inside of his cheek. He was surprised by her statement. He thought she would have understood why he didn't ask her. He walked over to her, her eyes trailing over him as he did. He was down to his undershirt and slacks. He'd already kicked off his shoes.

He stood in front of her, and took one of her hands in his. He pulled her towards him, and she was smiling brightly now. "I would have asked you to dance but," He paused and slid his hand over her hip. She gasped, all traces of humor sliding off her face as he pulled her flush against him, his hand curled around her waist, "I would have held you too close." He kept his eyes on hers as she slid her hand up his arm and over his shoulder. He tucked her hand in, under his, against his chest. He started to sway, and she rested her head against his shoulder, sighing deeply. He could feel her relax into him. "If I did that, then everyone would know," He whispered into her hair. They swayed to the silence. Focused only on each other and they way they felt pressed this close.

"What would everyone know?" She asked in a whisper, her breath dancing across his neck. He didn't answer her. He focused on her breathing, on the heartbeat he felt under his hand as it moved over her back. The words were right there; right at the tip of his tongue. He couldn't get them out. He couldn't believe he was already there. It had never built like this before. Yet, there it was, strong and steady and he still couldn't admit it out loud. When she pulled back to look at him, he kept his words to himself and instead he kissed her. He kissed her with everything he had already declared, and everything he wasn't ready to admit. She voiced her approval in the back of her throat as she twined both arms around his neck. His arms circled her and in his effort to bring her closer, as if he could bring her into himself, he lifted her so the tips of her toes brushed the carpet beneath her feet as she held on to him. He took the few steps to the bed, and slowly lowered her onto it.

Her arms were wrapped around him, holding him close. Her legs were hooked around his hips. One of his hands was splayed over her hip ran down her thigh as he savored the feel of her in his calloused hands. The other arm was wrapped around her. His elbow supporting him as his hand held the base of her neck. He kept his eyes on her face when he took her. She gasped and her head pressed back into the pillows as her body arched to accept him. He kissed the exposed column of her neck, and as he moved inside her, he could feel her rising. Her chest filling with breath she was never able to fully expel. Her voice rising in pitch as she reached her peak. Her eyes would flutter and a soft moan would leak from her lips each time his hips met hers. She shattered first, his name a broken moan as it slipped from her. That was all it took for him to follow.

They laid there, entwined, basking in the afterglow. He kissed her slowly and laid his head against her chest, and he sighed as her hands slid through his hair. After a moment, he lifted his head and looked to her face. She smiled and kissed him thoroughly. He moved off her, and she followed him rolling to her side to face him. Their legs tangled together. "I guess it's a good thing we didn't dance, then," She whispered and he laughed softly pulling her to him. She buried face in his chest.

They must have fallen asleep. When Kaidan opened his eyes again, Shepard was propped up on her elbow leaning over him. He cocked an eyebrow at her, "What's up?" He asked as he rubbed the sleep from his eyes. His gaze traveled over her. The sheet came up to the dip just above her hip. The dim light of the room illuminated every soft stretch of skin and rounded curve. He reached out and pushed her hair behind her shoulder. He let his fingers trace her jaw as he brought his hand back.

She put her fingers over his lips before tracing the scar that cut through them. "Vyrnnus?" She asked him, and he nodded. She leaned forward and kissed his scar, and he felt the smile pull at his lips. Her fingers trailed down his torso to his side, and she traced a long healed gash on his rib cage just under his arm, "Vyrnnus, again?" She asked quietly.

He nodded and she frowned. He reached out and traced the scar above her ear, and spoke quietly, "Luna," He said and cupped the back of her head, bringing it closer and he kissed it gently. The hair that had been shaved around the wound was growing back. The soft, short hairs tickled his face. While his lips were against her head, his hand traveled down to the other scar from the same mission, just under her breast. "Luna, again."

"This is an unfair game, you know most of mine," She chuckled and he propped himself up to get a better look at her. She lifted his arm and found the oddly shaped scar in the sensitive flesh of his underarm. She pressed her finger against it in question, "I'm surprised you noticed that one. It's not a battle wound. It was before BAaT, actually. Shortly after my biotics manifested, I accidently broke my own arm; compound fracture. My mom passed out," He answered and she smiled. "I know these, too," He said and traced the gash on her shoulder. He whispered, "Feros," before moving his hand beneath the sheet to her thigh. His hands curled around her leg, and his thumb traced the old wound. "Feros, again," He said again and she laughed.

She sat up and pulled the sheet back, exposing his lower half. She traced a scar on his thigh with one cool finger. "This one?"

"Frag grenade," he answered simply. "Shrapnel got me through my armor," She grimaced, and he laughed softly at her expression as he watched her move to straddle his waist. He reached up, and cupped her face. His thumbs ran over his cheeks and the dotted scars there. "I couldn't figure these out," He admitted.

She chuckled, "Most people don't notice them. I think because they blend in with the freckles," She suggested.

"I pay attention to detail," He reminded her and a teasing grin played on her lips.

"I noticed," She commented and he chuckled softly. She took his hands in hers and removed them from her face. "Akuze," He raised an eyebrow, "Acid, when it hits the ground, it splashes." Realization dawned on his features. Her eyes stayed on his as her hand moved to rest on his chest before she ran a finger around a puckered scar near his last rib.

"Batarian merc," He answered, "Got me with a blade between the plating of my armor." She winced and he sat up, bringing his body flush against hers and wrapping his arms around her. His hands ran over the speckled scar tissue he'd noticed earlier this week. It was her largest scar running from one shoulder blade to the other. "I couldn't place this one, either," He admitted and she wrapped her arms around him in return.

"Noticed that one, huh?" He nodded. "Omega," She answered and he cocked an eyebrow at her, "Shortly after I reached N7, I was there for a while. I was in the wrong place at the right time. There was a fire and it caught my top," He nodded and kissed her jaw as his hands caressed the damaged skin. Her hands slid down between them and around his waist. Her cool fingers traced a long, thin scar along his lower back. "This one?"

He grinned, he had a feeling she'd like this story. "First summer after BAaT, I was at the orchard with my grandparents. The horse I was riding spooked, and I was bucked off. I landed on some farm tools and sliced it open," He answered and she grinned and kissed him again, pressing herself close to him.

He reached between them and covered her belly with one large hand. There was a scattering of puckered scars near her belly button. "Mindoir." He declared and she nodded. He took her chin in one hand and angled her head down slightly so he could leave a trail of kisses along the scar that cut through her face, "Mindoir." She nodded and before she could say anything else her stomach growled loudly. With his lips still on her cheek, he grinned.

"I haven't eaten all day," She admitted and he pulled back and glared at her. "Don't look at me like that. I was anxious and didn't feel hungry," She argued as she climbed off him. She grabbed a shirt off the floor, his, and went to the kitchenette. Kaidan pulled on a pair of shorts and followed her out. She was standing at the fridge wearing only his white button down. It was just long enough to cover the curve of her rear, but her long elegant legs were fully exposed. As she stared into the fridge, almost trying to will a meal into existence, one foot came up to scratch the calf of the other with her toes. He'd been right about her calves.

"There were no left overs," He stated referring to their meal the night before and she nodded. "Want me to make you something?" He asked and she turned, grinning. They switched positions, Kaidan went to the fridge and Shepard sat on the stool at the counter. They didn't have much, but they had enough for an omelet. It was moments like this, when he got to do something to care for her, that he was really beginning to appreciate. He had learned that something as easy as scrambling eggs and chopping a few vegetables went a long way with her. It was silent as he worked, but he could feel her eyes on his back.

She startled him when he felt her cool hands move around his waist as she stepped up flush against his back. Her hands slid up and rested on his chest. She pressed her face into his back and sighed deeply. He watched the food cook and covered her hands on his chest with one of his. Neither said anything; they didn't need to.