Author's Note: Surprise! You all waited so patiently for the last chapter, and this one flowed so nicely, I figured I'd post it right away instead of waiting a week. Thank you to those who commented on the last chapter: Vorcha Girl, Kateriel79, Jules Hawk, Kirsah, JediZelda, and the guests. I love reading your comments and having the opportunity to chat. Thank you again! That's all for now... Enjoy! - TLC
Chapter Forty-Five
Shepard breezed passed Kaidan, mumbling a thanks as she moved towards the armory. He thought he caught the scent of plum blossoms beneath the dirt and grime of battle. She opened what must have been her locker and he saw her grin. He moved passed her, to check the open crates hoping to find suitable gear, and he noticed inside her locker was her N7 armor. Her fingers ran lightly down the red stripe on the gauntlet and she exhaled.
Kaidan stood back, and watched as Vega moved up next to her, "What the hell is going on?" She turned to glare at Vega and his question before pushing passed him and moving to the weapons bench. "Where is Anderson? Where are we going?" Vega was standing opposite her at the bench, leaning on it and invading her personal space.
Kaidan raised an eyebrow at his audacity, but said nothing, opting to let the scene play out and check the temperature of their relationship. "We're leaving," She stated matter-of-factly. Her voice was cool and calm, like steel. It was familiar. He remembered the way she had spoken to Jenkins shortly before Eden Prime. She seemed frustrated with Vega, like he was overstepping his bounds; and he was. He was no longer her guard. Now, she was his boss.
"Leaving?" Vega questioned, his voice cracking at the end in disbelief as he moved around the table, once again moving too close to her. "What's going on?" Kaidan's hand clenched at his sides almost subconsciously.
She sighed roughly, and looked up to meet Vega's eyes as she answered, "Anderson wants us to go to the Citadel. Get help for the war." Kaidan noticed an undertone of annoyance but kept to himself.
"Bullshit! He wouldn't order us to leave!" Vega snapped, raising his voice in return and Shepard cocked an eyebrow at him. She glanced at Kaidan out of the corner of her eye, and he planted his feet, crossing his arms over his chest. She gave him a moment to step in, but he didn't want to interfere.
She turned her eyes back to Vega, "We don't have a choice. Without help, this war's already over."
"Screw this! Drop me off some place because I'm not-" Vega argued stepping up to her, he towered over her and it made Kaidan feel ridiculously protective. Ridiculous in that Shepard had not needed protection since the day she was rescued from Mindoir.
Kaidan started forward but stopped when Shepard reacted. Her biotics flared without the warning Kaidan had grown used to. A wave of blue energy raced over her as she poked a finger into Vega's chest, "Fuck you! Don't you think I'd rather stay and fight?! Goddamn it, Vega!" He was forced back and had the decency to drop his eyes. "We're going to the Citadel. You want out? You can catch a ride back from there," She turned away as Vega waved her off before taking a few steps away from her. He rubbed his hands over his short hair in frustration. Kaidan looked to Shepard, her back and neck were tense.
He could only imagine how difficult it had been for her to leave Anderson there, in the middle of everything. He was her family. Kaidan started to move closer to her, and but stopped when Joker called for her over the comm. Instantly, Shepard's face split into a relieved smile, "Joker? Is that you?" She asked through her smirk.
"Alive and kicking! Got an emergency transmission from Admiral Hackett for you," He announced, and Kaidan moved to stand just behind Shepard, still letting her take the lead. He noticed Vega stop and turn towards her, like he was hoping Hackett would change her orders.
"Patch it through," She accepted the transmission, and with a gentle twitch her eyes moved over to Kaidan then back to the console. He had the suspicion his presence was making her uncomfortable, so he took a step back. He barely heard her sigh before her back straightened and a jumbled, sketchy image of the grizzled Admiral came through to the screen.
"Shepard…. Sustained heavy losses… force was overwhelming… no way we can defeat them conventionally…" The image was distorted and the audio was cutting in and out making conversation difficult. Kaidan opened his omni-tool and attempted to log in to clean up the transmission, but there was already a presence taking care of it. He bit the inside of his cheek as the image cleared and the audio repaired itself. Shepard informed the Admiral of Anderson's orders. "First I need you to go to the Alliance outpost on Mars, before we lose control of the system," Shepard accepted the order with a salute, before Hackett continued, "We've been researching the Prothean archives with Dr. T'Soni. She believes we may have found a way to defeat the Reapers, the only way to stop them. We'll be in contact soon. Hackett out." With that the communication ended, and Shepard called out to Joker to set a course for the Mars archives.
Joker accepted the new destination, and Vega turned to Kaidan, "This is loco," Vega muttered. "Major, you have to agree with me on this one. We've searched through the Prothean ruins for decades, what could we possibly find now?" Vega turned to Kaidan, and Kaidan felt the heat in his core when he realized what his intention was.
"I'd be careful, Lieutenant, you're coming very close to insubordination. Dr. T'Soni is a Prothean expert and if she thinks there's something there, it's worth checking out," Kaidan answered simply, warning thick in his tone.
"Major, we need to go back to Earth, you know we do. You're the ranking Officer here, can't you do something?" Vega asked, and Kaidan felt Shepard's eyes on his back as he stood taller. Kaidan felt the anger wash over him and settle in his clenched fists. His brow was creased and his lips drawn into a thin line.
"I don't know what you heard just now, but I very clearly heard not one, but two Admirals give the Commander the order to take her ship away from Earth. I don't know what kind of game you think you're playing here, but you're not going to pit me against Commander Shepard. The Normandy is her ship, always was," He heard her scoff, and then her boots moved towards the elevator. Kaidan continued without interruption, "You'd do well to remember that. I'm willing to overlook your outburst today, considering what we've all been through. This is your one and only warning. Am I clear?" Kaidan asked, he wasn't yelling. He hadn't even raised his voice, but the silence that followed hummed with the energy of the threat.
"Sir, yes, sir," Vega answered with a stiff salute before stalking off. Kaidan turned towards Shepard hoping to ask for a few moments of her time, but she had already boarded the elevator. She looked to the floor and crossed her arms over her chest as the doors closed.
There wasn't much time between Earth and Mars and Kaidan knew he needed to find a set of armor, but he couldn't go another minute without talking to her. With a quick glance toward Vega, who had set about finding his own gear, he turned to the elevator. He stepped on and realized he had no idea where she had gone. So, he chose to check her quarters. He waited, rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet as the elevator slogged to the top level. The door was locked and he lifted his 'tool to ping her and request access, but there was no response.
He nearly growled before turning and lifting his eyes to the ceiling. He spoke out loud to nothing, testing a hypothesis, "EDI?"
The digital voice sounded pleasantly feminine and almost amused when it responded, "Yes, Major Alenko?" He snorted, shaking his head.
"You're an AI, aren't you?" He asked simply, not sure how he felt about the possibility.
"Yes," The answer was simple, and he sighed. Shepard and Joker clearly trusted it, he had to assume he could give it the benefit of the doubt for now. "Can you tell me where the Commander went?"
"She stopped on the Crew Deck," It answered, and Kaidan nodded and moved back to the elevator, "but the elevator just went to pick her up there," EDI continued, and Kaidan stepped back leaning against the wall next to her door. "May I inquire how you knew I was more than a VI?"
"I read some of the Commander's reports from her time with Cerberus. She referenced you but never said you were an AI. I assumed you were a talented Engineer. Then today, as we left Earth, when it seemed like the ship was reading my mind, I figured it out," He answered, and wondered how Joker had reacted to having an AI on his ship.
"I should have expected this outcome," EDI responded, "I have heard many things about your technical skills. I suppose I should have been more careful." Kaidan asked how it managed to keep itself secret while on Earth. "Jeff suggested I allow the Alliance engineers to believe me to be a simple VI that would only respond to him. This kept my systems active, and Jeff aboard the ship," She explained and Kaidan took note of the AI's use of Joker's first name. He chuckled quietly as he checked the time. He still had to get gear. "Commander Shepard just ordered the car to her quarters."
"Thank you, EDI," He answered, and the elevator door opened moments later revealing Shepard with her hands on her hips and her head down. He stared at her for a long moment, his heart pounding in his chest and his mouth went dry. "Shepard," he greeted, his voice hoarse.
Her head shot up and her eyes met his. They were narrowed, and her jaw was set firmly, "Kaidan," She responded as she stepped towards the door to her quarters. "I don't have time for this right now," She snapped as she unlocked her door, Kaidan's brow creased at her tone, "I have a mission to plan."
He was immediately on the defensive, not entirely sure where her anger had come form, "What…" He started to follow her into her quarters and she spun on her heel, glaring at him.
"You very graciously handed the ship over to me, Major. Now, if you don't mind, I have work do to before we reach Mars," She answered him, her eyes flashing an icy blue as she nearly growled.
"No, Anderson and Hackett gave you the ship, I simply backed you up in front of Vega," Kaidan responded, refusing to be dismissed as he stepped even closer to her, forcing her backwards.
He was surprised when she threw her head back and laughed. Instead of warm and rich like he remembered, it sounded bitter and angry, "No, Kaidan, let's call a spade a spade. You left yourself a way out," She accused before turning and moving further into her quarters. Kaidan absently took note of the size of the room. It was larger than some quarters on Arcturus.
"What is that supposed to mean?" He asked as he followed her. He stood in the doorway of the bathroom, his hands clenched at his sides and the anger boiling in his gut. She was leaning over the sink and splashing water on her face, washing off the filth from Earth.
"Seriously?" She asked as she buried her face in a towel. She kept speaking as she dried her face. "That was your advice to me, remember? 'Always leave yourself a way out.' You're a Major, now," She dropped the towel into the sink and lifted her eyes to meet his in the mirror in front of her. "You could have taken command of the ship, and I could have simply been the Spectre on board, but no, not Kaidan. Why would he step up and lead when he can stand back and take orders?"
He stepped into the room and glared at her, "You mean to tell me, if I had assumed control of the Normandy, you would have taken my orders?" He asked her, and she turned to face him, leaning back on the sink. Her eyes dark with frustration.
"Fuck no!" She snapped back, and he snorted, his arms crossing over his chest, "We shouldn't have to order each other around, Kaidan! We could have worked together. Instead, you took care of you," She accused, and pushed away from the sink. "Don't worry, Major, I'll take care of everything else," Her voice was low, and angry as she pushed passed him. He turned to follow. He started to respond, but she interrupted him, speaking without looking at him. "You have twenty minutes to get geared up and ready to go. I suggest you go find some armor," She said as she moved to her personal console and leaned over to check her messages.
He glared at her back for a long time, his breath coming fast and short as she ignored his presence. He turned on his heel, fuming, and as he left the room his fist connected with the door way. A loud crack echoed in the small space between her door and the elevator. In his anger, he didn't see her jump at the sound. He didn't see her shoulders and head fall as he retreated. He didn't see the dejection as it fell over her.
Ten minutes later, Kaidan was with Vega down in the cargo bay. Vega was already suited up, with his weapons ready, having found gear while Kaidan was with Shepard. He was bouncing on the balls of his feet near the shuttle, anxious to get started while Kaidan finished gearing up. He was checking the weapons available as the elevator opened in the cargo bay. Kaidan's eyes followed Shepard as she went to her locker and stripped down to her underarmor as she pulled on her gear. Kaidan tore his eyes away from her curves and focused on the rifle in his hands. The anger still seethed deep in his core.
The problem was, he could understand where she was coming from. He knew she was right, he shouldn't have been so quick to push command on her. He should have spoken to her about it, but he hadn't. Now, everything seemed more hopeless than it did after Horizon. He had no idea what to say to her, what he could do to try to fix it. He sighed deeply as he finished loading his rifle. He stored extra thermal clips in the ammo pack on his armor, and his eyes lifted as Shepard walked towards Vega. She didn't even look at him.
They were approaching Mars and the Drop Zone. He felt the armor pinching him in the joints, and made a mental note to purchase new armor when they reached the Citadel, but this would have to do for now. He followed Shepard and reached the cargo bay doors just as she secured her helmet. She ran over the objective: to find Liara and secure the data from the archive.
"Approaching the Drop Zone in five minutes," Joker's voice rang out the warning over head. Vega moved passed them and into the Alliance shuttle, settling in at the flight controls. Kaidan swallowed hard and stepped up behind Shepard. His hands went to her hips as he checked the closures of her armor. He felt her still, and his hands paused for a second until she lifted her arms to give him room to check the rest. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest at her proximity, and it nearly stopped when he tapped her shoulder guards and she turned to face him. Her icy stare froze him in place. There was still so much he wanted to say, but no time to say it. His mouth opened, but before he could start, she lifted her hand and signaled for him to turn, her eyes blank.
He turned, and her hands moved over the seams of his armor. He thought he felt them tremble as they traced over his waist and up his sides. He sighed when she tapped his shoulder and he turned. She was already stepping onto the shuttle, and strapping in one of the seats at the back. He sat across from her, securing his harness. His eyes lifted and found hers locked on him. He searched her eyes through her visor. She seemed … sad. He had to assume it was because of the events of the day. Yet, when her eyes dropped from his and she turned her face away from him, he had to wonder if maybe it was something more than that. He didn't want to feel hopeful, but he did.
He couldn't wait to get this mission on Mars over so they could be cooped up on the Normandy for the flight to the Citadel. He hadn't had the time he wanted to hash everything out with her, to get everything out in the open and see where the pieces fell. As soon as they were back on the Normandy, that was his plan. He wouldn't spend another day with her thinking he didn't care about her.
Goddamn it, he missed her.
A warning alarm went off, and the doors opened. The shuttle slid from the Normandy and Vega piloted it, albeit a bit shakily, into the planet's atmosphere. "Uh, Commander, I have Joker for you on the comm," Vega called out, and Shepard stood and went over to the Lieutenant.
"Go ahead, Joker," Shepard responded as she braced herself on the back of Vega's seat.
"I've been trying to reach Mars on secure channels, no one's answering," Joker informed her. His voice was tense, and it made Kaidan nervous. He heard Shepard sigh.
"Any sign of Reaper activity?" She asked, as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other.
"Negative," Joker answered, and Shepard asked for EDI's input.
"The base appears to be online, it is possible the inhabitants were evacuated," She – it, or was it she? – theorized. Kaidan was still unsure how he felt about the AI's presence, but it was clear Shepard considered EDI a part of her team.
Shepard snorted and turned towards Kaidan. For a second when her eyes met his, he thought he saw a flicker of anxiety, but it disappeared just as quickly, "We'll know soon enough," She walked towards Kaidan and sat in the seat again. Her eyes pointedly missing his. "Just, be ready, Joker," She ordered as she buckled in.
"Roger that. Normandy out," Joker closed the comm and Shepard sighed, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the wall of the shuttle. Vega announced that they were approaching the Landing Zone, and they braced for the landing. They hit the ground a little rougher than Kaidan would have liked. It was clear flight was not Vega's strength. Once the shuttle settled, the trio unbuckled and moved to the doors. Shepard took a deep breath as the door opened. She glanced at Vega, then at Kaidan, before giving them the signal to move out.
Then they moved from the shuttle to the red dirt ground of the planet Mars.