Author's Note: It's late on a Thursday and you've all been very patient with me, so I'm going to keep this short. Thank you to those who commented on the last chapter: Vorcha Girl, Kateriel79, TMGermany, Kirsah, riehull, Jules Hawk, Zacharti, N7zer00, Kris B, and WiseGirl9859. Words cannot express how happy your reviews make me. :)

Vorcha Girl, again, you rock.

... Enjoy. - TLC

Chapter Forty-Seven

Sound was the first to return. He could hear the distant voices talking quickly over his head about implant damage, neural splints, and brain activity. He could hear the beeping of machines and the whisper of a ventilator. He felt the hard bed beneath him, and the rough fabric covering him. His legs tingled and his arms were too heavy to move. He wanted to open his eyes to see what was happening around him. His face felt swollen and stiff, and his eyes wouldn't cooperate.

He had no way to know how much time had passed, was passing.

There was a dull ache in the back of his head that scared him and made him wish for the bliss of unconsciousness. His eyes opened slowly and he was surprised to see the room he was in was empty. He looked around. He could have sworn he'd heard the voices near his bed. He was at Huerta Memorial, the hospital on the Citadel. He opened his mouth, a quiet groan slipped from the back of his throat before he closed it again. His mouth felt like cotton and tasted of vomit and stale blood.

His thoughts were cloudy and slow and all he could think was that he needed some water. He tried to move his hand to reach the call button for a nurse or doctor but his fingers just twitched. The pain in the back of his head intensified. It was like someone stuck a red hot poker into his amp port. His mind spun and nausea rolled over him. He struggled not to vomit.

The beeping above his head quickened and grew more frantic. The door to his room slid open and he barely saw the team of white coats rush in until they surrounded his bed. The top of his bed was lowered until he was flat on his back staring up at the sterile white ceiling. Suddenly, there were hands and omni-tools everywhere. Poking. Prodding. Scanning. Cold metal ran up his legs checking his nerves. His reflexes were checked with quick taps. He knew they were speaking, but he couldn't understand all of it. Some of his doctors must have been alien and his translator was obviously not on him.

What had happened to him? He closed his eyes against the harsh light and the barrage of medical intrusion. He fought through the fog. He remembered the fear in Shepard's voice as she'd screamed his name. He remembered chasing the Cerberus agent. He remembered arguing with Shepard about the half-husk Cerberus soldier. How bad had it been?

Time was still beyond him, and he didn't know how long he lay there while they studied him. Aside from the medical violation, they hadn't even acknowledged him. Eventually, they left, studying the omni-tools on their wrists. Kaidan sighed and tried to reach again for the call button. His shoulders screamed at him as his fingers twitched. "Major Alenko," A softly accented, gloriously quiet voice lilted from the doorway.

He turned his squinted gaze towards the woman and watched as she crossed the room to close the shades. Then she dimmed the lights and moved to his bedside. She had short cropped red hair, and bright kind green eyes. She looked familiar, but her name escaped him, "I-" He croaked and she shook her head. She reached behind his bed and lifted the back so he was elevated and then she poured some water into a glass for him.

"Drink slow," She ordered as she held the straw for him. He took a sip and it was the most refreshing drink of water he'd ever had as it coated and cooled his parched mouth. He couldn't stop himself as he took another long pull and she tsked at him and removed the straw from his cracked lips and set the glass on the table. He groaned and let himself fall against the bed. "You probably don't remember me. My name is Dr. Michel," She started, and Kaidan opened his eyes and met hers. "We met-"

"In the wards," Kaidan finished, and as his voice worked it felt like he swallowed glass. She winced for him as he grimaced and she nodded.

"Over three years ago," She finished. She'd been the doctor that directed them to Fist, who led them to Tali. It felt like a lifetime ago. He could feel her eyes on him as he tried to flex his hand. "You gave us quite the scare, Major." He wished he could remember. She filled him in. "The Cerberus synthetic that attacked you had the intent to kill, and it nearly succeeded. First, your amp was destroyed and the implant was pushed further into your brain," Kaidan felt the blood drain from his face at her words. "A friend of mine is a specialist on the L2 implant, and I called him in to evaluate you. He will be back in this afternoon. I am sure now that you're awake he will have more tests to run," She said.

The thought of his implant being damaged terrified him. Would he still be able to use his skills? Would he be able to serve again? She held a hand up, as if she could read his mind, before she continued. "There was also some fracturing to your skull, and your cheekbones. Your shoulders were fractured as were some of your vertebrae, but the way your brain swelled gave us the most concern," She paused, and watched as it sunk in. "If Commander Shepard hadn't gotten you here as quickly as she did, you would not have made it," Dr. Michel gave him the information gently, and Kaidan felt the cold fear grip his insides.

She saved his life. After the things he had said, the things he had accused her of, she saved his life. His head fell back and his eyes closed. He swallowed hard, "How long was I out?"

"It has been three days since the Commander brought you in," Dr. Michel answered. He wondered how much he had missed. He wondered about the death count on Earth. He wondered where Shepard was. He sighed, and Dr. Michel asked how the sensation was in his extremities. Over the next half hour, she worked with him; helping him bend and flex his legs and muscles to waken them from their restorative slumber.

Afterwards, Kaidan was relieved when he was able to close his fist and wiggle his toes. Dr. Michel assured him the feeling would return fully, and he would regain full function and mobility in his arms and legs. "And my biotics?" He couldn't keep the hope from his voice, and he wished he didn't recognize the empathy in hers.

"I don't have that answer for you. My associate, Dr. O'Connor, will be in later this afternoon and will have more information for you," She promised and he nodded, closing his eyes. He was glad that his headache had seemed to subside as he worked with her. "For now, Major, rest and heal," She ordered and he smiled weakly as he closed his eyes. He hated the uncertainty of not knowing the impact on his biotics. His abilities had shaped the soldier he had become, and he didn't know what he would do without them.

"Doctor?" He asked as the door opened, she turned and sounded her response quietly. "Can I get something to eat?" He asked quietly, and the doctor chuckled softly before promising to send in something light. "Thank you, and uh…" He paused as he opened his eyes and met hers. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Last reports had Commander Shepard heading to Palaven, but that is all we know," Dr. Michel answered, her voice soft and understanding. Kaidan nodded tearing his eyes from hers and the door closed behind her. He couldn't stand the fact that Shepard wasn't here. He had planned on saying so much to her when they got back to the Normandy, and now he didn't know when – or if – he would see her again. That reality settled deep in his core and refused to be ignored. He wanted to send her a message, but he didn't know what to say. He decided it would be better to wait until after he saw the specialist. He'd probably have more news then.

It had been a full week since Kaidan had woke in the hospital. He was scheduled for another occupational therapy session today. Dr. O'Connor proved to be quite knowledgeable and Kaidan respected him. He had informed Kaidan that the implant itself had not been damaged, but its placement was off. The initial thought was that they should go in and try to adjust it, and Dr. O'Connor was glad he had reached Huerta in time to stop them.

With the way Kaidan's brain had swelled, to go in and try to move the implant would have left him, at best, in a permanent vegetative state. At this rate, Kaidan needed to work with OT to build up his biotic strength again. He told Kaidan his prognosis was positive, and there was little reason he wouldn't regain full function and be back to where he was with his biotics – if he took therapy seriously and didn't try to rush anything.

Kaidan had sent Shepard a message after his initial visit with the specialist, but he hadn't received a response. He had made it a point to stay abreast of the situation on Earth, and with whatever information he could get his hands on regarding the Normandy, but it still left him will very little. The reports that came in from Earth were either too devastating to believe or too positive to be real.

He was sitting in the therapy room, at a table near the back. The room itself was large, and everything was crisp, clean, and white. There were stations throughout the room, set up for different skill sets. Stations where soldiers could use parallel bars to learn to walk again. Stations where soldiers could work with their new prosthetic limbs. Then there were the stations Kaidan was using. They were set up with toys that reminded Kaidan of his cousin's children. Toys for toddlers meant to help them develop their fine motor skills. Building blocks. Putting the right shapes in the right holes. If it weren't for the truly injured soldiers behind him, it would have been hard for him to believe he wasn't back at BAaT. He imagined he could feel their eyes on him as they struggled and all he was trying to do was lift toy blocks with his mind.

He didn't belong here.

He was so focused on lifting the block in front of him that he jumped and the block fell when a wet hacking sound rang out over his shoulder. He turned slowly and his eyes landed on a Drell standing near the wall of windows. He had been exercising, tai chi or some other kind of martial arts, and Kaidan had barely noticed him until he started coughing. He sounded like he was drowning. Kaidan stood and made his way over to the alien as fast as his stiff, sore legs would carry him, "Are you alright? Can I get a nurse or doctor for you?" Kaidan asked when he reached him, placing hand on his back.

The Drell turned his eyes to Kaidan. The large black orbs blinked twice before he answered, "No, thank you. I am not dying, at least, not at this moment," The Drell's voice was deep, low and sounded like rocks being dragged over each other. The Drell's eyes moved over Kaidan and he felt himself shift from one foot to the other. They were dressed similarly, hospital issued pants and top. "I suppose I should take a rest," He stated, his breaths were short and shallow and Kaidan had a feeling it was more than just a cough.

"I have to get back to my uh… exercises, but you're welcome to sit with me if you'd like," Kaidan offered, gesturing to the table he'd been working at. He didn't want the audience, but he could feel the wheezing in the man's back as he breathed and he wasn't sure if the Drell would be able to make it out of the room without a break. The alien nodded his acceptance, still seemingly out of breath and followed him the short distance to the table. They sat and Kaidan introduced himself with an extended hand.

The Drell met his eyes, and accepted the handshake, "Tannor Nuara," He replied and Kaidan nodded before turning his attention back to his task. They sat, and the alien watched as Kaidan started working with the blocks again. His hand would flicker blue, and the block would dance around on the table. He tried not to notice the Drell watching him, but it was easier said than done.

"I did not realize you were biotic," The Drell commented in his rough voice, and Kaidan nodded, thankful for the distraction. "May I ask what happened to bring you here?" Tannor questioned, gesturing towards Kaidan's attempts at Lifting the blocks.

Kaidan let out a breath and leaned back in his seat, the chair tilted back on two legs. He hadn't felt this frustrated since he was a teenager. He scrubbed his hands over his face before dropping them to the table's edge, still balancing on the chair. "I was on Earth when the Reapers attacked," Kaidan responded and the Drell sounded his understanding softly. "I was able to escape Earth on the Normandy, but there was an incident at our first stop and my implant was rattled," Kaidan was surprised by the Drell's sudden interest at his mention of the Normandy, and the chair fell back on all four legs.

"You were on the Normandy? So, Shepard made it off Earth?" Tannor asked, his large black eyes trained on Kaidan's. The intensity in his stare made Kaidan instantly uncomfortable. Kaidan was put off by the fact that the alien called used her last name and not her rank.

"Commander Shepard did make it off Earth, yes," Kaidan said, his eyes narrowed as he stared at the Drell. "Do you know her?" He asked, his voice quiet and his heart racing. What were the chances this was the Drell Shepard had on her crew? Kaidan noticed an odd look pass over his Tannor's face. His eyes seemed to glaze over, and he was staring passed Kaidan. He spoke, and his voice sounded oddly disjointed. It was as if Kaidan was hearing his inner monologue. Kaidan looked around briefly, but the Drell's words quickly caught his attention and pulled him in.

The ship rumbled as it came apart. Her voice rang out through the open cavern. "Go, go, go! Get out of here before I blow this place!" It was frantic, and trembled. The Turian stayed by her side longer than I did. My heart pounded in my chest as my feet took me away from her and to the waiting Normandy. I reached the doors and turned to see the Turian following. Alone.

"Where is she? Where is Shepard?" I asked, my voice sounding frantic in my own ears.

"What? She was just behind me!" The Turian responded and I felt the fear grip my insides in its cold claws. She wasn't coming. I stared at the Turian, his eyes agreed with my assessment and he looked saddened by it.

"No," I answered, and took off back towards her. She was sitting with her back against the console. Her crystal eyes hidden behind her lids, and her full, pink lips trembled with each breath. I dropped to my knees in front of her and took her face in my hands, "Siha."

She opened her eyes and met mine. I was surprised by the tears that glistened in the light of the burning space station. "What are you doing here?" She asked, her voice panicked. "You're supposed to be on the Normandy and getting away from here!"

"Not without you, Siha. You're not dying here," I argued and hauled her to her feet. "Let's go!" I dragged her from the ship. She didn't fight me, but she didn't help me either. We barely made it. The Normandy sped away and we were all accounted for in the decontamination chamber. She did it, we all survived, even her.

Kaidan stared at the Drell slack jawed as he blinked quickly a few times. His throat was suddenly dry and his heart had sunk. "What was that?"

Kaidan chewed the inside of his cheek as he stared at the Drell. He may be using a fake name in the hospital, but this was the alien that Shepard had grown so close to. There was no doubting it now, and Kaidan was nauseated at the thought of this Drell touching her. Thane seemed embarrassed and cleared his throat gently. "Drell, we tend to fall back into our memories. We relive them. Sometimes we have no control over it," He explained, and Kaidan nodded. He couldn't imagine falling back into his past. Sure, there were some moments he wished he could relive but others he didn't want to think about let alone go through again.

"You saved her," Kaidan's voice was thick as he spoke, but it wasn't an accusation. He didn't have to say her name. They both knew damn well who he was talking about. His mind was swimming with the reality of this situation.

"She saved us all. I couldn't leave her behind," He answered simply and Kaidan nodded. He still didn't know the extent of Shepard's relationship with Thane and it was gnawing at his core. "It was an honor to serve by her side," He added before Kaidan could respond.

"It usually is," Kaidan agreed with a sad smile, his eyes moving to the blocks again. He didn't know what else to say. He knew what he wanted to say. He wanted to grill him about his relationship with Shepard; about his feelings for her, and Shepard's feelings for him. Had anything happened between them? His memory had seemed so intimate, and Kaidan knew he had been uncomfortable when he realized what he had shared.

"You were with her when she left Earth?" Thane asked bringing Kaidan out of his thoughts. Kaidan recognized the desperate sound of his voice. Desperate for information, desperate for a reprieve from the fear for her. Kaidan nodded his answer. "How is she?" Thane asked. Kaidan narrowed his eyes at him, trying to decipher his feelings towards her, but there was no way he would he able to.

"She is alive, and leading the resistance against the Reapers," Kaidan responded, not wanting to share this information with him. It was as if Kaidan had the upper hand, having seen her more recently, and he didn't want to give that up. Kaidan also didn't want to admit that Shepard was so angry with him.

"That sounds like Siha," He responded with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Kaidan didn't know what he meant by Siha, and he wasn't sure he wanted to.

"Major Alenko," A nurse called from the doorway and Kaidan looked up to her. "I have Councilor Udina on the comm for you," She announced and Kaidan sighed, annoyed at being pulled away from Thane, and even more frustrated that it was to speak with the Councilor. He hadn't warmed towards the man since Shepard's death, and he had no idea what he would have wanted.

He looked to the Drell, who offered him an awkwardly friendly smile which he tried to return. "I am sure I'll see you around," He stated and Kaidan nodded as he stood and moved towards the door. He could feel the Drell's eyes on his back as he went. He may not know how serious things got between them, but he was glad he had been there with her when he wasn't. If he hadn't been there, she may not have made it back from the Collector homeworld. The conversation brought more questions than answers, and now all he could hope for was a visit from Shepard.

Author's Note: Shamless self promotion - there are currently two stand alone one shots I have posted that add a little perspective to this story. One is a short scene from early in the story, which explains Ashley's final message to Joker. The other is a one shot from Sloan's point of view, set during her first night on the Normandy SR-2. I only mention them because there might be another something posted within the next few days for you all to enjoy... ;) - TLC