Author's Note: Thank you to those who have favorited or followed The Reason. I hope you continue to enjoy the story, and would love to hear what you think. Thank you, again, to those who reviewed: ChaseingTheWind, ela11, Jules Hawk, Anubis85, Bint-Lilith, Zacharti, Vorcha Girl, and Kirsah. Your words are more than encourging, and the reason another chapter is ready already.

All that being said ... Enjoy! - TLC

Chapter Fifty-Seven

Kaidan and Shepard were in the comm room, standing side by side before the QEC, and the holographic forms of the remaining Councilors. They had been on the ship for a few hours already, the Prothean had settled in the Portside Cargo hold. "His name is Javik; he was a Commander with the Prothean military. He's intense, disappointed, angry, and out for Reaper blood," Shepard explained.

"Still… a living Prothean," Tevos spoke, and even across light-years her disbelief was clear. "There are so many questions we could have answered," She sounded wistful, and amazed. She sounded a lot like Liara, and Shepard hands fisted at her sides.

Shepard spoke through clenched teeth. "That may be true. For right now, however, he has agreed to help me, help us, and fight the Reapers. Questions can wait," She insisted, and Kaidan kept his eyes on the Asari. Tevos shifted, almost uncomfortably, and Kaidan realized the image before her. He enjoyed the thought that maybe Shepard and he, as a joint presence, were more intimidating that facing them individually.

"We need to meet with him," Sparatus spoke, his two-toned voice forceful. "First contact protocol," He insisted, backing up his fellow Councilor.

Shepard's sigh was nearly a growl, "I'm not making any progress, and I won't! Not if I have to keep going back to the Citadel after every mission!" Shepard insisted, her impatience causing her temper to break. "This is fucking absurd!"

"We need a day, Commander," the Salarian answered, his hand moving quickly over his omni'tool. "You can't expect us to ignore the reappearance of an extinct species. How do you communicate?" Valern asked, his large black eyes finally lifting and locking on Shepard. She sighed, and Kaidan wondered if she was regretting her decision to tell the Council about Javik.

"He can understand us, and I can understand him," Shepard answered with a sigh.

"Then we will need you to translate," Tevos ordered, and the disappointment and annoyance instantly shrunk Shepard as her shoulders visibly slouched.

"Actually, Councilor," Kaidan interrupted, and Shepard glanced at him as he spoke. They had gone over the recording of their conversation from Eden Prime. Shepard had translated what Javik had been saying so they had a starting point for the translation. "Using conversations Shepard and Javik have had, Liara T'Soni and I have been able to develop an upgrade for our translators for the Prothean language. I am forwarding it to you now." Shepard hadn't known they had finished. Truth was, he had worked with EDI and Liara. Without EDI, there was no doubt they would still be working on it; but the Council did not know EDI was an AI and it had to remain that way.

"Good work, Major," Valern offered as they each opened their 'tools to receive the message from Kaidan. He nodded, and Shepard offered him a grateful smile. "Commander, what is your ETA?"

She sighed, "Joker?" She called to the ceiling, when he responded she continued, "Change course to the Citadel; what's our arrival time?" Joker answered ten hundred Galactic Standard Time. They would have to backtrack all night. Kaidan could sense the resignation in Shepard's tone and stance. He had the feeling she wouldn't be so forthcoming with information to the Council. He knew she had the option of blowing them off, but she couldn't risk them pulling their assistance. They were helping to keep the Normandy stocked with foodstuff during their efforts. If they pulled their support, well, a poorly stocked warship is never as successful as a ship with a fed crew.

"We will see you at 11 hundred, then, and Shepard-" Tevos was in mid-response when the comm suddenly shut off.

"Oops," Joker's amused voice rang out in the room, and a smile split Shepard's face. "Elbow slipped. Sorry, Commander."

"Just make sure it happens again, Joker," She answered through a grin as Joker gave an enthusiastic affirmative response. Kaidan watched as she stretched her neck from side to side and turned to face him. "I guess we're going back to the Citadel. You can pick up better armor while we're there," She insisted and he chuckled, digging his hands in the pockets of his BDUs.

"Yeah, and maybe we can grab a meal?" He asked without thinking about it, and was pleased when she blushed and met his eyes. He took a small step closer to her, and she tilted her head to keep her eyes on his. "I hear Apollo's has a great steak sandwich," He added and a slow smile spread on her face.

"Commander," Joker's voice broke into the room, it had lost its enthusiasm and Kaidan saw the concern flash in Shepard's eyes. "I have Admiral Anderson on the comm for you," He explained, "He asked for either you or Kaidan."

"Put him through," She answered and Kaidan swallowed hard when he noticed the apprehension in her eyes. Shepard and he stepped closer to the comm and the image of the Admiral came into focus. "David," Shepard sighed, and Anderson smiled at her.

"Hey, Sloan," He replied, his voice tired, but relieved to see her. Anderson's eyes moved to Kaidan, "Alenko," He offered and Kaidan nodded his greeting. He had an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach and he couldn't place it. "I heard about Mars; I see you're doing well," He offered and Kaidan nodded.

"I'm doing great, Sir. You holding up?" He asked, trying to ease the anxiety as the concern didn't quite leave Anderson's eyes as he kept them on Kaidan.

"As well as can be expected. Kaidan, the last time Sloan and I spoke she mentioned that you hadn't heard from your parents," Anderson explained and Kaidan swallowed hard as his eyes flicked to Shepard who was staring at her shoes. "I was able to spare a few soldiers to head out to your parent's Orchard," He explained, and Kaidan straightened his posture, and braced himself for the worst. He watched as Anderson opened his omni'tool.

"You didn't need to spare the man power," Kaidan argued, hating the thought that he was getting special treatment. His omni'tool pinged and he ignored it.

"It serves us well to know where there are pockets of survivors," Anderson replied, and Kaidan's breath caught in his throat and his eyes burned at the word survivors. "Your mom has quite the refuge at the Orchard. She has taken in any survivors she has come across, or that have come by her," Anderson replied, and Kaidan's hands were white knuckled behind his back. He was afraid to speak, he knew if he opened his mouth he'd start sobbing and he wasn't prepared to do that in front of Anderson. "With the destruction, she couldn't link to a comm buoy, so she sent a message with the team. I've forwarded it to you," He explained.

"Thank you, Sir," He choked out around the ball of emotion in his throat. The Admiral nodded and Kaidan turned to Shepard, he wanted to go read the message in private. She met his eyes, and nodded towards the door. He gave her a grateful, tight smile before turning on his heel and nearly running towards the elevator.

The knowledge of the message from his Mom made his omni'tool almost hot against his skin. He cursed when he had to pause for the security scan, before brushing passed Traynor. He ignored her greeting and was grateful for the open elevator doors. He stepped on and was tempted to open the message in the elevator but held out, waiting for the sanctuary of Starboard Observation. He nearly knocked Liara down as he rushed off the elevator, shouting a half-hearted apology, as he raced to the quiet of his room.

He entered, and sat on the sofa facing the large open windows that looked out over the stars. He sighed and, with trembling hands, opened the message.

"My Dearest Kaidan,

It is because of you we made it to the orchard. If you hadn't given your father that warning we would have been in the city when those monsters hit and who knows what would have happened. You saved us, Kaidan.

I'm sorry I haven't been able to contact you sooner. I can't tell you how happy I was to know the soldiers who showed up at the door would be able to get the message to you. I have been able to keep up on the news of the War. I know you've been made a Spectre. I know you've joined back up with Commander Shepard and the Normandy. I take comfort in that. I feel like that's where you will be the safest.

Kaidan, I wish I was there with you to tell you this in person, but I can't be."

Kaidan stopped reading for a moment as dread settled cold and heavy in his core. He was afraid to continue, he had a feeling he knew what was coming.

"After about a week here, a group of your father's friends from his active duty days showed up. They were joining, going active to fight. I knew when your father looked at me that day that he was going. Kaidan, he enlisted.

Just a few days ago, his CO contacted me. Your father was killed in action. I didn't get details, I didn't ask and it seemed like the old soldier was glad I didn't. I knew better. Kaidan, understand that your father died the way he always wanted to. Fighting. We both knew our chances of surviving this together were slim and we said our goodbyes before he left.

I know you're going to worry about me, but I wish you wouldn't. I am okay. I am not alone. Your aunts and uncles are here, with your cousins. Oh, baby boy, I wish I could be where you are. You're strong. You'll be okay. I know you will. When this is over, you'll come home.

I love you, Kaidan.

Mom"

Kaidan closed his omni'tool and folded his hands in front of himself as he stared at the stars. He wasn't sure how much time went by. He read the message over, and over again. Eventually, he stood, and paced as he processed the information. Part of him had known, or suspected, that something had happened to them. He just hadn't wanted to believe it. His mom was right, he knew his father would have wanted to go out fighting. Eventually, he would be able take comfort in that. Right now, he had to keep it together. He had to keep control of his emotions. He had a war to fight. He sighed, and stopped in front of the window.

There was something about space that still made him feel hopeful, even after all this time. Hope. It was an insane notion with everything going on. He was fighting the emotion that had taken hold in his throat. It burned. It was hard to breathe. He was glad he had taken up residence in this room. He was glad he hadn't stayed with the other soldiers. He was grateful for the solitude. Thought, there was one person he didn't want to see right now. Shepard was the only one tied to any of Kaidan's memories of Alex. He rested his head on his forearm on the window and closed his eyes. His lungs filled despite the fiery knot in his throat and escaped in a loud shaky sigh.

The door to the room slid open and he pulled his head away from the window, leaving his arm resting there and keeping his eyes on the stars. His other hand flexed open and closed at his side. He knew without turning around who had entered. Through everything, through all the time that had passed, through death and rebirth, through betrayal and devotion, she still smelled the same. Plum blossoms. A soft whimper slipped from his throat, and he clenched his jaw to hold back the tears as she slowly moved closer. "Kaidan?" She asked, her voice quiet and soft, full of concern yet still sounding timid. He turned his head away from her, and took a deep breath, steadying himself, willing himself not to cry in front of her.

"It all seems so calm from here," He said after a long minute, and turning his eyes back to the stars, "but there are people going through hell in a million different ways… out there," He knew he was being cryptic, but he couldn't stand to say the words out loud. Not to her. "I want to be fighting alongside them, but… I want to be here. You know?"

"Of course," She said softly, trying to make eye contact with him but he wouldn't look her way. She bit her lip and turned, her back to the window, her arms folded loosely over her midsection as she searched his face. He couldn't bring himself to look at her. She was watching him avoid her. He was grateful for the moments of silence she allowed to pass before she gently prodded him, "What happened, Kaidan?"

He took a deep breath, he could feel his walls crumbling. He finally locked his whiskey gaze on hers. "My dad, he's…" Kaidan let out a deep shaky sigh and dropped his eyes as he opened his omni'tool. He forwarded the message to Shepard and turned his eyes back to the stars as she read. After a tense, silent moment, she spoke his name, a whispered prayer as it slipped from her lips. A prayer that maybe he had been given the wrong information. He didn't want her pity. His jaw clenched again. He couldn't help but think back to that night his father had met Shepard, at the bar in Vancouver. The first night of that gloriously care-free shore leave they'd spent wrapped up in each other, before the SR-1 went down; before she died.

She reached out, silently, and took his hand. He looked down to her soft, warm hand in his. She was always so warm now. "Kaidan, I am so sorry," She whispered. He didn't let her hand go, and she was encouraged by that and took a step closer to him. He hadn't thought he'd wanted her here but when her hand slid in his, and the soft thrum of her biotics teased his palm, it was like a balm; like the tingling sensation of medi-gel coating an open wound. They hadn't had a chance to talk about them, about what they were. In this moment, he didn't care. He needed the comfort she brought. The comfort she'd always brought him. He squeezed her hand as the first tear slid down his cheek. She took another step closer, "EDI?" She called out, his eyes were still on their hands but he could feel her gaze locked on his face.

"Yes, Shepard?" Her disembodied voice answered, sounding appropriately somber.

"Secure the room and divert all contact attempts for the Major and me to our private terminals. That goes for crew as well as Command," She ordered and the AI acknowledged the order. The lock on the door turned red. He felt his resolve finally break and she released his hand and almost instantly his arms were around her waist and he pulled her to him. Her hands slid over his shoulders and she held him. His face was buried in her neck and he wept silently. Her hands gently caressed his shaking back and shoulders as she quietly shushed him and whispered that he was going to be okay. Her lips grazed his ear as she attempted to soothe him.

They stood there and held each other for more than a few moments. Eventually, Kaidan's tears slowed and he was just holding her against him, and breathing her in. Her hands were running through his hair, gently massaging his scalp, offering him any comfort she could. He pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers. His eyes were closed and he swallowed hard. Her fingers moved and slowly teased the salt and pepper hair at his temples, her hands framing his face. He opened his eyes and met her cool cerulean gaze. She moved her hands, just enough to wipe the tears from his face. He let himself take comfort in the gesture, in her closeness as his arms were still firmly wrapped around her waist.

Slowly, he released her. His hands came to rest on her hips as he struggled with the thought of letting her go. He didn't know what to do with himself, but he knew he wanted her here. She had been the last person he had wanted to see, and now he couldn't bare the thought of her leaving. As his eyes moved over her face, it was then he noticed her own eyes had overflown with tears. He lifted his hands to cup her face, the way he had so many times before. His thumbs wiped at the tears that had fallen from her eyes. She smiled sadly and took his hands in hers and pulled them away from her face. She went to the couch bringing him with her. She sat and tugged on his hands. He sat next to her, as close to her as he dared, and she let him go. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. She shifted so she was facing him, with one leg folded under her.

He looked at her, and opened his mouth to speak. He closed it immediately as he felt his eyes well up, again. He leaned back on the couch and pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes, trying to hold it back. He felt her shift on the couch next to him, and his heart raced. He looked to her, his movements quick and uncertain, almost frantic. She said nothing as she made herself more comfortable next to him. She toed off her boots, and pulled the pins from her hair. He felt himself relax, just slightly as she leaned her side into the couch, resting her head along the back, and still facing him.

He let out a slow deep breath, and closed his eyes. His hands were folded in his lap, white knuckled and clutching to the time, just a few hours ago, when he had been ignorant and believed his father was alive. After a few silent moments, he felt her move closer, but he didn't open his eyes. He felt her hand cover his. She slowly slid her hand between his, prying them apart and replacing her hand in his grasp. She gave him something to hold on to, something to ground himself. She gave him the strength to feel what was raging inside.

He held on.