Author's Note: I am so glad we're at this point in the story, and I'm happy to know you are, too! Thank you to those who added The Reason to their favorite or follow lists. Welcome! An extra thank you to those who commented: WiseGirl9859, gogogeisha, ChaseingTheWind, ela11, TMGermany, Vorcha Girl, Bint-Lilith, Zacharti, Anubis85, Jules Hawk, Kirsah, Stryper, JaynineReturns, and riehull. I am so happy you're all so happy with their reunion. Thank you!

I think that's all ... - Enjoy! - TLC

Chapter Sixty

Kaidan barely slept all night, and for the first time in a long time it was for a good reason. He didn't want to fall asleep and miss any second of this night. He couldn't keep his hands off her, and she seemed just as desperate to hold on to him. They hadn't said much, but they had made love twice more before sunrise. Eventually, she had fallen asleep with her head on his chest. His hand slowly running through her hair and her arm slung over his waist. Her legs were tangled with his, and he closed his eyes and let himself feel her against him.

Keeping his eyes closed didn't last long; he wanted to see her, to watch her sleep, and imagine what she was seeing behind her closed eyes. He did doze lightly, but every sigh that slipped passed her lips, every twitch of a muscle, and the way she pulled him closer in her sleep woke him. He watched as the artificial sky lightened to simulate the sun rising over the building. It streaked through the windows and danced over her face. It warmed him, and somehow made everything seem softer. It was like the light was shining on their moment, and letting him see that it was real.

She stirred, and his breath caught in his throat when her sleep clouded eyes opened and met his. She graced him with a lazy smile, and he leaned down and kissed her – just because he could. He pulled back enough to look into her eyes, and she sighed deeply. "Good morning," She whispered, her voice was soft and quiet, almost like she was afraid speaking out loud would break something. He gave a gentle sound of agreement, and wrapped his arms around her, slightly tighter and she turned her head and placed a kiss to the side of his neck. "Did you sleep well?" She asked, pulling away gently and looking up into his eyes. He didn't even need to answer. The guilty smile on his face gave him away. "Kaidan, we have to get back to work in three hours," She scolded through a smile as he leaned down and kissed her again before leaving a trail along her jaw to her neck. "Why didn't you sleep? Are you feeling alright?"

He felt the warmth of her concern bloom in his chest, still, he snorted, and pulled back to look at her. "Sloan," He was grinning, "I have never been better than I am, right now." He loved that she blushed at his words before she lifted her head and kissed him lightly.

"They why didn't you sleep?" She asked as she reached up and ran her fingers over his brow and down the side of his face. Her voice was still tinged with sleep, and it was one of his favorite sounds.

He smiled and turned his head, kissing her palm before letting his eyes wander over her face as he pushed her hair off her forehead, "I didn't want to wake up," He answered, his voice barely audible as his eyes met hers. She sighed deeply through her smile. She let her head rest back on his chest, and slid her leg up over his hip as she tightened her hold on his waist. He kissed the top of her head, and closed his eyes, allowing them to enjoy the quiet for a little while longer. One hand gently ran through her hair and caressed her back as the other slowly slid up her leg to rest on her thigh. Muscle memory alone allowed his hand to curl around her leg as he absently stroked the scar from Feros.

Instantly, she tensed. Her body went rigid, and he could have sworn she literally cooled a few degrees. Abruptly, she pulled away from him. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and sat up. In the process, she kept the sheet from the bed pressed close to her body. "Sloan?" He reached out, his fingertips grazing her back for a second, before she shifted and wrapped the sheet over her shoulders, covering herself from his view. She turned and looked at him over her shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing," She insisted, and he scolded her by repeating her name as he sat and moved closer to her. "No, really, it's silly. We just, we have to get ready. We have to be back on the ship in three hours," She insisted, and Kaidan kissed her shoulder through the sheet.

"Tell me, Sloan," He prodded, and she turned and glared at him. He could see the doubt and frustration in her eyes, but he wasn't going to let it go. Something had happened, he had upset her somehow, and he didn't know what he had done.

He saw the moment she gave in. "It's silly," She argued quietly, and a blush decorated her cheeks as she dropped her eyes. He pressed his lips to her shoulder again, and kept them there. He wanted her to know she could tell him, whatever it was. He wasn't going to judge her. She sighed. "You…" her voice stuck momentarily, "your hand… on my leg. That scar, all my scars, they're … gone… and I have all these new marks from Cerberus and I hate them. I didn't think about it last night," She admitted. "I look so different. I earned those marks. They were mine. They were my story, and now they're gone. It's like," She paused and let out a shaky breath as she held the sheet tight in her hands. "Cerberus erased it," She locked eyes with him. "They erased my past," Her voice was small, smaller than he had ever heard it, and his heart broke for her.

He had spent so much time angry with Cerberus, he'd never once stopped and considered how it would have affected her. He kissed her shoulder again, "Sloan, I didn't fall in love with your scars," He whispered, as his hand slowly slid up her back to the top of the sheet. He tugged at it and, though he could sense her reluctance, she let him. He watched as goosebumps rose on her skin as it was laid bare again. Her hands were twisting in her lap as she allowed him to pull it away from her. "I don't need to see the scars to know your story," He moved and kissed along the top of her back, from one shoulder to the other. "Omega," He whispered, and he felt her take a deep, shuddering breath.

He reached around her, and turned her head towards him. He tilted it down, and kissed above her ear, "Luna." Her breathing increased, but it wasn't from arousal. He pulled back enough to look into her eyes, and they were filled with tears. He peppered kisses over her cheeks, barely touching her skin, as he whispered, "Akuze." With gentle pressure on her chest, he urged her to lie back down, and she did. Her watery eyes never left his as he moved over her to continue his exploration. He kissed her shoulder, "Feros."

He met her eyes as he hovered over her chest. She chewed her lip and watched as he pressed his lips to the spot just under her breast, and whispered, "Luna." He was surprised when he saw the first tear leave a trail down her face. He moved lower, bypassing the spots where the skin was thin and the red glow of the cybernetics beneath shined through. They weren't what made her the woman she was. He pressed series of kisses around her belly button. "Mindoir." He glanced up at her face. Her eyes were pinched closed, and her hand was pressed over her mouth as she trembled. He moved lower still, to her thigh, to the wound that he had mended. Feros had been the first time he had allowed himself to admit there was something between them, even if it was just to himself. He placed a single row of kisses where that scar had been. "Feros."

She choked back a sob, and his eyes shot to her face. He moved, so he covered her with his body, and she wrapped her arms around his neck. His arms wound around her, and held her against him. He coaxed her head back gently, and started a final row of kisses across her face. From above her right eyebrow, over her nose, and ending on her cheek. "Mindoir." He whispered the word, naming her final scar and felt it when she broke. The sobs wracked through her and her body shook with the power of them. Loud, broken cries erupted from her throat, and he hated the helpless feeling that grew in his gut. As she cried, Kaidan felt her biotics stirring seconds before her body was sheathed in blue and vibrating against his skin. He didn't know what to do to make her feel better.

So he did what he could. He held her.

He rolled to his side and held her close. He tangled their legs together and pressed her face into his chest. He held her as she came apart. She was trembling in his arms. He was surprised by how angry he became and how quickly it came upon him. He just didn't know what to be angry with. He hated that Cerberus had done this to her. He hated that he missed so much time with her. He hated that she had died. He had to wonder how long she had been holding this in. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and his hands swept over her back. Long, slow, tender caresses as she sobbed. He shushed her and whispered soothing words against her hair. He wasn't even sure what he was saying, but the sound of his voice vibrating low in his chest seemed to help her as her tears slowed.

Eventually, she shifted, angling away from him so he could see her splotchy, wet face. She pulled back her arms, and swiped the back of her hand across her nose before rubbing her eyes with the heels of her hands. Kaidan kept his arms securely around her, and her eyes darted down to his chest. She blushed. "Sorry," She mumbled, embarrassment tinging her tone, as she wiped her hands over his damp skin, smearing her tears across his torso.

"No," He said softly, covering her hands with one of his against his chest. "No apologies," He insisted. "Don't ever apologize for letting yourself feel," He asserted, lifting her hands and kissing her fingers. She nodded, and slid her hands from his as she cupped his face bringing her lips to his. She kissed him quickly, and soundly. She pulled back and her hands traced his face, her eyes following.

When her eyes met his, he felt a fluttering in his chest at the raging emotions he found there, "I … thank you, Kaidan," She whispered, and kissed him again. Her hands were still cupping his face. He moved slightly, rolling her beneath him as he deepened the kiss. He groaned when his tongue met hers and she shifted beneath him, allowing them to be closer. As he kissed her, slowly, thoroughly, his hand reached up and covered hers on his cheek. He laced their fingers.

The alarm sounded from the bedside table, and he felt her smile against his lips. He chuckled softly, and continued to kiss her even as she reached up and shut off the alarm. He pulled back and looked to her shining eyes. "We really do have to get moving," She urged, and he sighed in agreement before rolling off her. She sat, and pulled a shirt off the floor, his, and stood. "I'm going to grab a shower," she announced and he watched her go, running her fingers through her hair as she went. Seconds later he heard the water turn on and glanced quickly at the clock.

He wished they could stay locked away in this apartment for days, weeks, months… forever, really. Unfortunately, that was not a possibility; not yet, anyway. He threw back the covers, and pulled on his boxers. He padded through the apartment, running his hand through his hair as he went. It really was an impressive piece of real estate on the Citadel, and Kaidan did not want to imagine what it cost the Admiral. He wished he had more time to spend here with her, just the two of them. It made him miss Vancouver. He sighed, and forced himself to think of the future.

He paused as he walked down a hallway, there was a row of pictures on a shelf. Some of Shepard and Anderson, some of Anderson with Alliance Brass, and a few with Anderson and a pretty woman he didn't recognize. She was fair skinned, blonde, with green eyes and Anderson had his arm around her as they smiled at the camera. He wondered who the woman was, but was distracted from his thoughts when he turned a corner and found a chef's kitchen, fully stocked.

He set about making them breakfast. He turned on the coffee maker, and as it brewed he scrambled a few eggs and diced up some vegetables he'd found in the fridge. He'd found a comfortable rhythm in his cooking, and let himself focus on the task at hand. He was completely distracted, so when he felt warm hands slide around his waist and up his chest, it startled him momentarily. He smiled when Shepard pressed her forehead between his shoulder blades. He heard her chuckle behind him, and he covered her hands with one of his. He dropped his head and placed a kiss to her fingertips. She returned it by pressing a kiss to his spine. When her lips touched his bare skin, he was glad he hadn't put a shirt on. "I thought you would have joined me," She commented softly.

"I was tempted, but I figured we needed to eat before we burned through any more energy," He added through his grin. She snorted delicately as she pulled away, her hands trailing lazily down his abdomen as she stepped back.

"It smells fantastic," She commented as she moved around him, pulling dishes from the cupboard and setting them on the island. "I have missed your cooking."

He was grinning as he turned and served the food, splitting it between two bowls as Shepard filled their mugs with coffee. They sat across from each other and started their breakfast. Kaidan reached out and covered her hand. She flexed her fingers, tangling them with his. They ate silently, enjoying the food, and the company. Neither wanted to think about how they were running out of time to spend alone here. As they finished their meal, Shepard sighed deeply, and Kaidan knew exactly how she felt: Content.

She stood and moved around the island to stand next to him, without releasing his hand. She leaned down and kissed him lightly. He brought his hand up and cupped her face, holding her close even as she ended the kiss. "You should shower," She suggested, her eyes still closed. "I'll find you something to wear back to the ship," She offered, and he nodded without releasing her. She kissed him again. He refused to let go, and deepened the kiss when she went to pull away. She moved her hands to his face, and he shuddered as they trailed down to his neck and around to his back as his arms wound around her waist. She stepped closer, between his legs, and he held her. After a minute, she broke the kiss and whispered, "I'm not going with you." He laughed against her mouth before releasing her. He stood and went towards the bathroom, looking over his shoulder.

She had dressed in her BDUs, her hair hung halfway down her back. She stood and gathered the dishes, taking them to the sink. He couldn't stop smiling as he went to the bathroom. He opened the door and found the room was nearly as large as his living quarters on Arcturus. The was a large Jacuzzi tub in the corner, and a shower with three shower heads in the opposite space, a separate room for the toilet and a counter with his and hers sinks. It still smelled faintly of Shepard and her body wash.

He stripped off his shorts and stepped into the shower. As soon as the water hit him, cascading down his body on all sides, he let out a deep, happy sigh. He almost couldn't believe they were here. Now that they were, he wasn't going to let her go. That was a decision he made, right there, as he washed quickly. Some might think it was crazy to start a relationship in the middle of a war. In truth, they had started their relationship three years before. With the reality of the war, if they only had weeks left, Kaidan couldn't imagine wasting another minute.

He stepped out of the shower, and wrapped a towel around his waist. He brushed his hands over his hair, flattening it to his head and pushing out the excess water. He heard a low whistle to his left and turned to find Shepard leaning against the door frame. He hadn't even realized she had opened the door. He grinned at her as she stepped into the room. He flexed as her eyes moved over his body, and she grinned as she set the pile of clothes on the counter by the sink. "I found some of David's old uniforms that should fit you," She explained, and his eyes darted to the clothes and back to her. He noticed the darkness in her eyes, and it killed the flirtatious mood from the moment before. Before he could say anything to ease her worries she added, "They didn't fit him anymore, anyway."

"Sloan," He said her name, and she forced a smile.

"As much as I would love to stand here and stare at you in a towel all day, you should get dressed," She said, her forced grin morphing into a smirk. He chuckled, and nodded. She turned on her heel and left the room, closing the door behind her. He sighed, finished up in the bathroom, and dressed quickly.

He met her near the door, and she led him out of the apartment. She stopped and locked the door behind her before sliding her hand in his and leading him down the hall to the elevator. It was hard for Kaidan to wrap his head around what a difference a day can make. This time the day before he had been wandering the Citadel trying to figure out how to tell her how he felt, and in the end it had fallen from him without preamble.

He wouldn't change the way it had happened for anything.

Kaidan couldn't help but notice that it seemed to take much less time to get back to the Normandy than it had to get to Anderson's apartment. He was just glad she allowed him to keep his hold on her hand. Kaidan thought maybe she slowed down as they reached the elevator down to the docking bays. As if she was just as reluctant for their time to end as he was. She stepped closer to him as they waited for the elevator. She rested her head on his shoulder, and he sighed deeply. Kaidan allowed himself to enjoy the silence, and the feel of her warm hand in his. He kissed the top of her head as the elevator doors opened and they stepped on.

These elevators were always slow, and they hadn't gotten any better, but for once Kaidan was grateful for it. As soon as the doors opened, she glanced up at to his eyes and in the same instant they released their hold on each other. They started their walk across the bay, his hand brushing against hers. It was time to go back to work, and if they were going to work, they had to remain professional. When he met her eyes, he knew it was a shared understanding and she seemed to relax. They stepped on to the Normandy and she looked up into his eyes as the decontamination cycle started.T

The humming of the scanner buzzed loudly in the confined space, and it seemed to block out everything else. It was just him and her, for at least thirty more seconds. He was hopeful they would have time alone later in the day, but he also knew it would be a busy afternoon as they sorted out their schedules and plans. She sighed, and smiled at him. She stood on her toes, and kissed his lips lightly. She pulled back just as the doors opened.

"Commander!" Joker called out and Shepard smiled as she let a breath escape.

"Yeah, Joker?" She responded as she started towards the Bridge. Kaidan watched her go, turning right when she went left. He started towards the elevator, and Traynor stopped him to let him know his armor had arrived and was down with Cortez. He thanked her, and stepped onto the elevator. He turned and looked out over the CIC as he waited for the doors closed. As they did, he heard it.

Shepard laughed.

Author's Note: I just wanted to take a moment to send a special thank you to Vorcha Girl and Jules Hawk. The support you have given me has been invaluable, it has motivated and inspired me. You have made me a better author so... thank you, both.

If you're not reading their work, I don't know what your waiting for. Make sure you check out Lights in the Sky by Vorcha Girl and Careful What You Wish For by Jules Hawk (Hands off Stokes, though, I saw him first!). They are Shega fics, but even my Shenko heart adores them. - TLC