Author's Note: I am so sorry this took so long. I hope you're all still with me. Thank you to those who have added The Reason to their favorite and follow lists. I am so honored you've decided to follow along! An extra thank you to those who left a review on the last chapter: Aeowyn99, Vorcha Girl, ela11, WiseGirl9859, Jules Hawk, Kateriel79, Zacharti, Alcyonidae, and Kirsah. Your kind words have been my motivation lately, so thank you very much for the reviews.
... Enjoy. - TLC
Chapter Sixty-Two
"Kaidan," He heard her whisper his name. He was surrounded by the sweet smell of plum blossoms and he felt her place a kiss beneath his ear. She continued to place gentle kisses along his jaw, whispering his name lightly, but growing louder as she was sure he was waking. She placed a kiss to the corner of his mouth, and when she pulled away, his eyes were open and he smiled. "Good morning," She whispered as one hand reached out to run through his hair.
He was disappointed when he noticed she was already dressed, with her hair pulled back and her make up on. "Morning," He offered her, sleep still clinging to his voice. She sat back on her heels and he felt her watching him as his hands scrubbed over his face. "Did you sleep alright?" He asked as he sat and watched as she moved to the edge of the bed. She let her legs hang off the side, and was pulling on her boots.
"I slept great," She replied simply as she tied the laces, and looked at him over her shoulder. "We're scheduled to arrive at Utukku in about an hour. I need you ready to drop when we land," Her voice was cooler than Kaidan liked, and he almost scowled at her back. Before she could stand, he reached out and wrapped an arm around her waist and pulled her down next to him, enjoying her surprised squeal. "Kaidan," The annoyance was thick in her tone, as he hovered over her, his arms firmly around her waist.
"Don't do that," He demanded, and she cocked an eyebrow at him. "Don't bring the Commander in here," He explained his statement, and she looked away from him. "You need a place to go where you can shut her off, where you can let her go," He explained, and felt it when she sighed. "You should be able to be just Sloan sometimes," He reached up and traced his fingers along the side of her face as his eyes followed. He let his fingers trail down the side of her neck.
"I don't know how to anymore," She admitted, and he barely heard her whisper. He gently turned her face back towards his, and lowered his lips to hers. It was a light, short, gentle kiss. She let out a soft breath, and her hands reached up and cupped his face as he pulled away from her. He looked down into her face and saw, maybe for the first time, the depth that change had caused over the last year. She had been completely rebuilt, brought back. Her body was younger than ever, most parts were brand new.
Her eyes, however, held a sadness born of loss and heartache. He sighed and caressed her cheek, placing another gentle kiss, this time, on the tip of her nose. She closed her eyes and ran her hands through his hair. "I'll help you," He offered, and she nodded against him. "For starters, in this room, you won't use Commander voice, and I won't use Major voice," He suggested, dropping his head and kissing her cheek. He pulled back and met her eyes. "We'll leave our armor and our weapons in the cargo bay, and we'll do our reporting in the lounge."
She nodded and then frowned slightly as she sighed. He cocked his head at her. "I kind of like your Major voice," She whispered, tease thick in her tone. He snorted a chuckle as she grinned. Seeing her like this, vulnerable and open, made him feel like he'd won something. He kissed her lightly again, and his heart raced when a soft whimper slipped from the back of her throat.
He broke the kiss, and buried his face in her neck before moving his lips to her ear, "If you keep making those sounds we're going to be late," He warned her, and she chuckled softly. She pushed gently at his chest, and he rolled off her. She sat up, and smoothed her hands over her hair, making sure it was all in place.
"Alright, I'll see you in the cargo hold in thirty," She said through a smile as she pushed herself off the bed and crossed the room. Kaidan watched her go. After she crossed the threshold, she stopped and turned and smiled at him as the door closed. He let a deep breath escape through his nose as he laid and watched the stars pass through the window in the ceiling. For a brief moment, he felt the fear constrict his chest. He knew what could happen every time they stepped off the Normandy, every time they went on a mission. There was a chance one of them wouldn't make it back.
He knew, without a doubt, he would not survive losing her again. The rational part of his brain told him it would be better to keep his distance, request a transfer to the Fifth Fleet, serve with Hackett, and when it was over, if they survived, to start again then.
That thought made him want to vomit. There was no way he would waste another second of this life not at her side. He wouldn't spend another night without her in his arms. He wouldn't wake anywhere but next to her. He scrubbed his hands over his face and forced himself out of her – their – bed. He grabbed his BDUs and showered quickly. After drying and dressing, he slid his amp into its port and enjoyed the hum of energy, and the buzz that raced through his body as the power filled him. He discharged against the sink before leaving their quarters and stepping on the elevator to take him down to the cargo hold.
He stepped off, and went to his armor locker. He caught sight of Shepard huddled with Wrex. James was at the weapons station ensuring their weapons were modded correctly based on weather patterns on the planet and Kaidan's Rachni reports. Cortez was in the shuttle at the controls, warming her up. He nodded at Garrus, who remained stubbornly silent, as Kaidan pulled the armor from his locker and started dressing. The armor fit perfectly, much better than what he'd worn before. He was glad he had taken the time the night before to work with it. The joints moved easily, and he was not concerned with chafing.
He was just finishing with the closures when he felt Shepard's hands at his waist and he couldn't hold back the grin. He took comfort in the ritual as her hands moved quickly, efficiently, and professionally over the seals of his armor, making sure they were closed tight. She tapped his shoulder guard and he turned towards her. His eyes met hers briefly, "The new armor looks… good," She offered and he watched as her eyes moved over him. When her eyes reached his again, she was biting her lip, and holding back a girn. He raised an eyebrow at her before signaling for her to turn so he could check her armor. He was grateful for this step they took. It sated some primal instinct deep inside, to make sure she was safe. It was one small thing he could do, and he was happy to do it. He tapped her shoulder when he finished and she stepped away from him without turning and went for her weapons.
Once they had all their gear, they met at the shuttle. "Alright, let's get down there, and find out what happened to Wrex's team. Alenko and I have fought Rachni before. They're tough little bastards and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't concerned about the possibility of Reaper enhancements," Her eyes locked on Garrus's, "When we're down there, we're a team first. We have each other's backs and we make sure we all get back to the shuttle, got it?" It was obvious she was talking to the team, but her focus was on Garrus for a reason.
They all nodded their assent before stepping aboard the shuttle. Wrex gave a little sniffing noise as he stepped passed Kaidan and a low rumbling chuckle escaped after. Kaidan ignored it as they sat in the back. The alarms sounded and the shuttle bay opened allowing Cortez to steer them off the ship and towards the planet's surface.
"Our backup is waiting for us at the drop point: Aralahk Company. They're Krogan commandos," Shepard added as the gravity shifted inside the shuttle. Kaidan braced himself with the bar above his head.
"My best men," Wrex added, his gravel voice almost comforting in a nostalgic kind of way, "Made a name for themselves when the liberated a colony from Batarian pirates."
"Approaching the LZ, Commander," Cortez announced and Shepard moved to stand behind him. The landing was gentle, and perfectly executed. The door opened and Shepard led them off, signaling for the others to follow. She led them through the assembled Krogan, and Kaidan could hear the leader of the company ordering his team to head out.
"Grunt?" Shepard called out, recognition and adoration lacing her tone. Garrus's low chuckle slipped out next to Kaidan, and he chose to ignore it was he watched the scene unfold before him. She quickened her steps, as the Krogan leader pushed others out of the way and approached Shepard at near full speed.
"Shepard!" He hollered, his voice deeper but smoother than Wrex's. His eyes we blue and his flesh tone was more gray than red. He wrapped Shepard in a hug and lifted her clear off her feet as Shepard returned the embrace. "Battlemaster!" Grunt shouted again before setting her down. A grin had split Shepard's face.
"What are you doing here?" She asked as her eyes moved over the young Krogan as Kaidan and Garrus came to stand behind her. Wrex moved further into the area, speaking directly to the Krogan of Aralakh Company, his people.
"I was just wondering the same about you. I thought you were locked up?" Grunt asked as he turned his head and allowed one blue eye to land on Kaidan. He sniffed, unimpressed. He was clearly assessing the unknown standing behind his Battlemaster and Kaidan felt himself stand straighter, planting his feet and squaring his shoulders. Shepard followed Grunt's line of sight to Kaidan, and cleared her throat lightly bring the Krogan's attention back to her.
"Grunt, this is Major Kaidan Alenko, Spectre," She introduced Kaidan turning to him, "Major, this is Grunt. He served with me on the SR-2 and helped me take down the Collectors." Kaidan extended a hand, which Grunt looked at for a cool few seconds before gripping and shaking in greeting. Shepard continued, "To answer your question, yeah, I was locked up but it was more to keep the Batarians away from me than anything else. They didn't want to raise any issues with the Council that would interfere with the war preparation. Then, the Reapers hit," She explained, and Kaidan was surprised by the Krogan's sarcastic chuckle.
"Yeah, they got bigger problems alright. That's why I'm out here running Aralakh Company. They're tough, think they're invincible; reckless, but effective," Grunt explained as he gestured to the crew of armored Krogan behind him.
"Sounds familiar," She chuckled, and Kaidan felt the chill trace his spine when Grunt's rolling laughter echoed hers.
"Grunt, have you seen any sign of Rachni?"' Wrex asked as he turned his attention back to them.
"No, we haven't, but you have to agree with me; this place smells wrong. It's like a festering wound," Grunt led them towards the center of the area, to a table covered with maps and print outs of scans. "Our research shows the tunnels down there lead to a large central point. If we're lucky, it's a nest."
"Alright," Shepard said, turning towards her team. "Let's see what we can find." Grunt ordered Aralakh Company to move out and Shepard signaled for her team to follow her. They followed Grunt and reached the scout camp ahead. They each started looking for the entrance to the tunnels, searching the prefabricated buildings left behind by the missing team. When they stepped into the third building, Kaidan knew something was off.
Before they could react, the building tipped precariously and hovered on the edge for a few torturous seconds before sliding off, "The whole thing's coming down!" They heard Grunt shout, and Kaidan watched in horror as they fell, suspended momentarily. Shepard pushed herself off the building and disappeared and Kaidan's heart sunk only to be jolted once they hit the ground – hard. There hadn't been time to scream, shout, or really feel fear of the fall, yet Kaidan's heart was racing as he pushed himself off the ground.
"Everybody alright?" He heard her voice over the comm, and his anxiety eased instantly as the team replied one at a time that they were fine, if startled. Kaidan moved and helped Garrus stand. Wrex was still up with Aralakh Company, not having been in the building when it fell.
"Shepard! You in one piece?" Grunt called from above.
"We're good, Grunt. Keep in radio contact," She ordered, and Grunt acknowledged. Wrex came over the comm and announced he'd stay with the Krogan team and Shepard gave the signal to move into the tunnels.
They hadn't gone far before they found the first dead Krogan scout. Kaidan took a knee and checked for a cause or time of death. He relayed the information to Shepard who reached out to Wrex. He'd been dead for a few days. His wounds long festering and giving way to decay. Grunt's callous reply came first, take his weapon because he won't need it. With that grim thought, they continued through the tunnels. It was dark, and Kaidan was grateful for the lights on the ends of their weapons as the moved deeper into the planet.
There was a rancid, decrepit odor the permeated the confined space and somehow still tainted the air through his breather mask. It was offensive to say the least, and he was suddenly anxious to be off this planet and in the shower.
Kaidan felt the the gooseflesh raise over his skin when something scuttled before him, "We have movement," He spoke quietly, and Shepard ordered them to be ready. Kaidan could feel what Grunt had meant. This place felt wrong. He could feel it on the back of his neck. Like he was being watched and measured, and it was unnerving.
As they moved from one corridor to the next, they found piles of pods hooked up to odd wiring. Kaidan had seen it before. He stopped, and Shepard signaled for Garrus to wait as Kaidan crouched down and ran a scan on the tech; it confirmed what they already knew, still he spoke the words. "Reaper tech," He barely recognized his own voice as he spoke, it sounded grim, and disgusted.
Shepard let out a breath, and signaled for them to keep moving. They reached a sharp drop and hopped down easily. As soon as their feet touched the ground the heard the screech of the Rachni and Kaidan felt his nerves turn to ice, "We've got company!" Shepard shouted as the trio dropped to cover.
"Light 'em up, Shepard!" Wrex responded, and the trio did just that. It amazed Kaidan, how they fell into old habits. Between his and Shepard's biotics, his and Garrus's tech, and their combined combat skills the small pocket of Rachni really had no chance. The fight was over before it had began, and Kaidan felt the rush that came from battle – battle with those who knew you, knew how you fought, and could anticipate your moves to work with you; it was a true team effort, and he realized he had missed this.
When the fighting stalled, Kaidan scanned the area, "All clear, Commander," He offered and she gave the signal to move out.
"Grunt, Wrex, Rachni presence confirmed. Modified, and very dangerous," She informed them as she led her team deeper into the tunnels.
"Just like on Tuchanka," Garrus added, and Shepard nodded, though she didn't reply.
"Finally! Something to kill!" Grunt's voice was more excited than concerned, and though he looked full grown, Kaidan wondered momentarily about his age.
Wrex's seasoned tone came next over the comm, and Kaidan was glad the experienced Krogan was here as well. He didn't doubt Grunt's ability, he was given Command for a reason, but he had to wonder about his enthusiasm. "Nothing here, yet. Lost a Krogan to a sinkhole, bad way to go."
Shepard let Wrex's comment go without response, as the eerie feeling thickened over the group. "The Reaper's really messed this place up," Garrus's two-toned voice rumbled over the comm as Kaidan stopped and looked around at the tech filling the space. It was intense, their hold on the tunnels was firm.
"Let's see if we can find out why," Shepard said as she continued to lead them to the spot where the tunnels converged. They noticed, as the moved through the tunnels, the number of pods and Reaper tech increased significantly.
"We must be closing in," Kaidan offered, "The number of Reaper forces, and the tech here… I think we're on the right path," he offered and Shepard gave a soft sound of agreement while Garrus remained stubbornly silent.
They reached an area where the tunnel widened slightly and branched off in two ways. One way was open and the other was blocked by a large piece of metal which was laced with the telltale glow of Reaper technology. There was a quiet hum in the space and they followed the energy towards a node, a spot where multiple Reaper cables met. The power nearly vibrated against Kaidan's biotics, and he knew Shepard felt it, too. Garrus moved closer to it, with his omni'tool out and performed a scan. "It's a locking mechanism," He answered.
"Well, let's see what's behind door number one," Shepard muttered as she pulled out her pistol. Three quick pops and the energy fizzled out allowing the large Reaper wall to move. Shepard shrugged, and signaled for them to move towards to newly accessible space.
As they entered the area, Kaidan could sense the rumbling in his feet as he heard the Rachni screaming in the distance. He looked up, and saw small loose stones falling from the ceiling. "Heads up!" He shouted as the stones grew in size as the tremors increased in intensity. His heart leapt into his throat when he noticed the largest of the rocks lost its battle against gravity just above Shepard. He dove into her, the large stone knocking into him, and jarring his spine and scraping down his armor as he pressed her up against the nearest wall and flared. His protective biotics covered them both and allowed the rest of the stones to fall behind them. He looked around for Garrus, and found him to his right pressed against the same wall. He closed his eyes and focused, extending his barrier to take some of the brunt of the force off Garrus, as well.
After a brief eternity, the rumbling stopped and the sudden silence was deafening. Kaidan released the barrier and stepped away from Shepard who looked up into his face. She sighed, her gratitude didn't need words, and Kaidan reached up and cupped her helmet, wishing he was touching her skin instead. She turned her head towards Garrus when Kaidan stepped away from her, "You alright, Vakarian?" She asked him, and Kaidan turned and met Garrus's eyes.
The Turian nodded and held Kaidan's stare for a long moment. His mandibles twitched momentarily, and Kaidan heard a soft click before he spoke, "Thanks, Alenko," Garrus offered, and Kaidan nodded.
Grunt's voice filled their comms, sounding appropriately concerned, "What was that noise Shepard? It sounded bad."
Shepard replied as she kept up their brisk pace, no doubt anxious to get out of the unstable tunnels, "Cave in, everyone's fine. We're just going to have to find a different way out of here."
"Glad you're all alright. I didn't want to have to dig you out," Grunt replied through a chuckle.
"Well, that hurts my feelings, Grunt," Kaidan could hear the smile in Shepard's voice. He was a bit surprised by her relationship with this Krogan and tried to remember reading her files from the SR-2. Grunt was the tank-bred Krogan she had woken on the ship. He was surprised they were so close. Grunt gave a non-committal, almost embarrassed response. Shepard chuckled as they climbed over the fallen rocks and continued further into the tunnel.
The amount of Reaper tech and pods continued to increase, and Kaidan tried not to jump every time something scampered passed him. After a few tense silent moments, Wrex spoke over the comms, "I know what happened to the Scouts." Shepard didn't stop moving when she asked what they found. "They got hit hard. The leader ordered them to carry weapons deep into the caves. He knew the next team would need help."
"They died making sure we would make it to the central chamber. It won't be in vain," She ordered, and the sadness in her voice might have been missed by anyone else. Anyone who didn't know her the way Kaidan did. He glanced at Garrus and met the Turian's eyes. He saw his own concern for Shepard reflected in his cool blue gaze. He amended his thoughts, anyone who didn't know her the way her friends did. "Let's keep moving."