Author's Note: Well, this took longer than I expected. Sorry for the delay, I fell a bit behind with life lately. Thank you to those who added The Reason to their favorite or follow lists. I hope you'll enjoy and would love to hear what you think. Thank you to those who took a moment and left a review, your words make me smile every time: Anubis85, ela11, Jules Hawk, Vorcha Girl, Kateriel79, Aeowyn99, Zacharti, and Kirsah.
Oh! This chapter is definitely rated M. Fair warning. Avert your eyes if you blush easily.
That's all ... Enjoy! - TLC
Chapter Sixty-Four
He felt it when her hand slid back into his. The bed gave as she sat next to him. She placed their hands in her lap, and he could feel her watching him. He kept his eyes closed as he assessed his remaining headache. The pain was gone, but there was still tension stemming from his amp port. The relief at the lack of pain was instant, and his eyes opened slowly. The lights were dimmed in the med-bay, and he wondered just how long he had been out. "Hey," She whispered as she leaned over him, supporting herself on the opposite edge of the mattress. "How are you feeling?"
"Better," He croaked, and she pressed the button to raise the head of the bed. "How long was I out?" He watched her eyes trail over his face, and he noticed the dark circles beneath them. She looked exhausted, and he knew in that moment that she hadn't slept yet.
"About eight hours," She answered, and he accused her of not sleeping. She snorted, "No, I haven't. I had to see Wrex and Grunt off. Then, I dealt with the reports from today and spoke with Hackett about the Rachni." Her eyes dropped to his hand in hers and he watched as her fingers toyed with his.
Chakwas appeared over Shepard's shoulder before Kaidan had a chance to respond. "That was a pretty intense migraine, Kaidan," The doctor's softly accented voice rang out as she ran a scan over him. Shepard moved back to one side of the bed to give Chakwas room. The Doctor had question, and doubt, in her green eyes when they landed on him. He stifled a sigh and shifted nervously as the concern danced on Shepard's face.
He squeezed Shepard's fingers gently as he started to respond, "They have been worse since Mars, and I'm still getting used to the new amp," He offered, and while Shepard seemed to accept his explanation, Chakwas looked unconvinced. She kept her doubting eyes on her omni'tool as she looked over the results.
"Your readings are all normal now," Chakwas answered, and Kaidan shifted to get up. Chakwas held a hand up. "You're on light duty for the next twenty-four hours, and the next time we're on the Citadel you're going to be checked by Dr. O'Connor," She ordered, and Kaidan nodded.
"Yes, Ma'am," He answered and Shepard stood to make room for him to swing his legs off the bed. He reached down for his boots and slid them on. As much as he loathed his migraines, he enjoyed the weightless, energetic relief immediately after one passed. The realization that the pain hadn't killed him, and that he was pain free once again, always gave him a burst of energy. It was euphoric. He stood and wrapped his hand around Shepard's. They turned and walked together to the door.
Dr. Chakwas cleared her throat. Kaidan and Shepard turned to look at her, "Light duty means no strenuous activity," She clarified without lifting her head, just her eyes raised to the duo.
"Of course, Dr. Chakwas," Shepard answered as the door opened and Kaidan led her from the med-bay. He was leading her to the elevator, and she stopped him. "You haven't eaten, Kaidan," She reminded him, and tugged on his hand leading him back to the kitchen area. Of course she was right, and he let her guide him to the mess. The area was blissfully deserted, and Kaidan realized just how late it was. "I asked Jeffries to save you your serving from dinner," She explained as she released his hand and went to the fridge.
Kaidan pulled a stool out from under the counter and sat. His eyes followed her around the small cooking area. Jeffries was a fair cook; Kaidan was better, and he knew Shepard severely lacked in this area. Yet, she seemed determined to care for him, and that thought made his chest swell with adoration. She wasn't one for words, for saying what she was thinking or feeling. He learned she was more likely to show you she cared about you, and this was one of those moments.
Even if all she was doing was warming up a meal someone else had cooked.
"You seem pretty close with Grunt," Kaidan commented as she plated the generous helping of dinner. Brown rice, some kind of chopped meat – Kaidan didn't want to know what it was – and vegetables with a spicy brown sauce. It was edible, better than some meals he'd had since he enlisted, but not great. Still, it was calories and he knew he needed to replenish.
"Yeah," She answered as she pulled up a stool and sat across from him. "He's like a big… puppy," She chuckled warmly when Kaidan looked up at her. "He was full grown when he was first born. He was fully aware of his size and power, and knew how to use it. Gaining his trust was interesting, to say the least," She stood, and he watched as she moved to pour him a glass of water before returning to her seat. She leaned forward, resting her chin in one hand as her eyes moved back and forth from his eyes to his mouth as he ate. She licked her lips before elaborating. "He was looking for a clan, for a place to belong. I gave him a spot on my crew, and the promise of worthy enemies," She explained, and Kaidan nodded. Shepard never had a shortage of enemies, worthy or otherwise.
"After a few months, he started to grow restless, and reckless. His temper was short, he wasn't sleeping. I found him pacing in the Portside Cargo hold more often than not. I was worried he'd put a hole in the hull. EDI did some research and he was, essentially, going through puberty," Kaidan snorted and swallowed a mouthful of his water as he watched her. Her eyes seemed bright as she thought back on that time, and he was glad she seemed to have some positive memories from that period in her life. "We went to Tuchanka, and Wrex told us all Krogan go through a Right of Passage, which is exactly what it sounds like," She paused when Kaidan finished his meal. He glanced over her shoulder to see if there was more in the pan, and she grinned as she stood to dump the rest onto his dish before returning to her seat.
Kaidan was hungrier than he thought.
"Part of the rite, is to choose a krant, or a second, someone to fight with and to lead. Grunt, being tank bred, already had enemies who didn't think he should be allowed to take the rite. So, he had limited options. He chose me. Wrex and the Shaman allowed it," She paused and refilled his water. She didn't continue right away, not until Kaidan asked what the rite was. "We had to fight waves of adversaries. First was varren, then Klixen. The third, and final wave, was simply to survive fifteen minutes against a Thresher Maw," She answered, and Kaidan inhaled quickly. A few pieces of rogue rice shot down his throat, and Shepard's laugh rang out like bells as he coughed, and drank water.
"On foot?" He asked, his voice cracking in disbelief, and her eyes were bright with good humor.
"Yeah," There was a nonchalance in her voice, and the corner of Kaidan's lips lifted in a smirk. "But you know me, I don't do things halfway," She responded, and he quirked an eyebrow at her, "We killed it."
"On foot?" He asked, again.
"Yeah," She grinned, "Grunt, Garrus, and I killed it in less than fifteen minutes," She answered with a nod and Kaidan could see the pride shining in her eyes at the shock he knew was on his face. "After it died, Grunt had to decide whether or not he wanted to stay on Tuchanka, or return to the Normandy with me. He declared me his Battlemaster and stayed with me," She nodded, and Kaidan swallowed the last of his food. "He's like this overgrown puppy, he's so full of energy and strength, and he just needs to be pointed in the right direction. He needs to be led; well, he needed to be lead. I am so proud of him, leading his own company. I'm just glad he made it today," Her voice had grown soft as she lifted his empty dishes from in front of him and turned towards the sink to wash them quickly.
He had the feeling she considered Grunt almost an adopted child. She woke him from the tank. She brought him to life and helped him mature and become the Krogan he was. She'd raised him. It would have been devastating for her to lose him today. He felt his chest flutter when he realized she would be a fantastic mother if she was ever given the chance.
He stood quietly and moved behind her. She jumped slightly as he slid his arms around her waist as she finished washing the dishes. She leaned back into him. He pressed a kiss to the side of her neck and she sighed. Her hands covered his, and their fingers twined together. "You're pretty amazing, do you realize that?" He asked her softly.
She unlinked their hands and turned in his embrace. Her eyes locked on his and his breath caught in his throat at the intensity in them, "You were amazing today. I didn't know you could Reave," She admitted as her hands slid up his arms and around his neck.
"I've been working on it for awhile. The new amp helped," He admitted, and watched the flash of concern color her features.
"The amp isn't what is making the migraines worse, is it?" He closed his eyes and shuddered when she let her fingers trace the amp port and gently massaged his neck.
"No," He answered, and he answered honestly. Though, he could still the uncertainty in her eyes. The nosebleeds and migraines had been worse before she had given him the amp. She didn't look convinced as she chewed her lip. To silence her concerns, he leaned down and pressed a kiss to her lips. She sighed, and he felt her relax as she pressed her body to his. Her hands tangled in his hair as his hands roamed over her back, to her bottom, pulling her against him. A soft whimper left her and he pulled away from the kiss.
Her eyelids were heavy, her cheeks flushed, and her lips swollen. He disentangled himself from her, as difficult as it was, and took her hand again, leading her to the elevator. There was a quiet energy between them, and it made Kaidan's heart pound with anticipation. The wait for the car was torture. Yes, the night crew was scarce, but that didn't mean he could take her in the mess, even though he wanted to. He could feel her pulse in her hand, thrumming with her biotics making his hand and arm tingle. The car doors opened, and Shepard pushed the button for their cabin.
As soon as the door was closed, he had her pressed up against the wall. Their lips dancing as he teased the whimpers from the back of her throat. She lifted her legs, wanting to be as close to him as possible, and wrapped them around him as he held her firmly in place. His heart was racing as her nails scratched along his scalp and her hips rolled against him.
The door opened and he carried her towards their cabin. She pulled back as they walked and pulled her top over her head. They undressed quickly, she seemed just as eager as he was to be skin to skin. They tumbled onto the bed, moving back enough to stop their limbs from dangling over the sides. Kaidan covered her, his arms on either side of her head as his mouth left hers and he kissed and teased the tender flesh over her pulse. A soft groan left her as her body undulated beneath his. She pressed her hands to his chest, and with a quick flare, rolled them over, catching Kaidan off guard, he yelped and she giggled.
She fuckin giggled, and Kaidan groaned at the musical sound.
Her lips pressed wet, warm kisses along his jaw and down his neck. The velvet feel of her tongue on his pulse point brought a moan from deep in his chest. She continued her exploration, finding all her favorite places with her hands and tongue. She traced the scars she remembered, and the ones she didn't. She took her time, learning his body again.
By the time she took him into her mouth, he was throbbing with need. He gasped, his head pressed back into the pillows and it took every ounce of his control not to buck his hips. His hands fisted in the sheets and he groaned without a thought for volume. She answered with a moan, and the vibration was almost more than he could take. He reached down, and cupped her face urging her to release him and she did. She slithered up his body, kissing him thoroughly as her legs came to rest on either side of him.
She pulled back, sitting up and looking down at him as his hands roamed over her thighs and hips. She reached down, found him, and guided him inside. Her head fell back and her body arched as he filled her, letting out a long low groan. Slowly, she rolled her hips and he met her movements as his hands continued caressing her, coaxing the gentle moans he loved from her lips.
As she moved above him, he couldn't take his eyes off her. She was stunning. She looked like a goddess; her biotics making her body glow with an otherworldly light, her hair floated weightlessly around her. Her eyes were closed, and her lips parted as she braced herself placing her hands on his chest. His name was a broken sigh on her release, and without giving her time to come down, he rolled them over. He kissed her deeply as he took control, moving deep inside her and he felt her tensing again as she continued to chant his name as be brought her up again.
Her eyes opened, and locked on his before he dropped his lips to her neck. He tasted the salty tang of her skin as she gasped his name, and broke again. Her nails digging into his arms as she mewled into his ear. He followed with a few sure movements and a long low groan as he finished. They were panting, gasping for air as he shifted, rolling to his side and turning his head to look at her. Her eyes were on the stars above them, their light making her sweat slickened skin sparkle. She turned her head to him, meeting his gaze, and she grinned as she rolled closer.
She laid her head on his chest, and sighed. The contentment in the sound made Kaidan's heart race as she tangled their legs. His arms wrapped around her, and she sighed deeply. He pressed a kiss to her forehead, and his eyes moved to the stars as his hand moved through her long damp hair. He could feel it in her body, when she drifted off.
Her breathing deepened, and evened out. Her body relaxed in a way it couldn't when she was awake. His favorite part, though, was the steady rhythm of her heart, which he could feel as his fingers danced along her neck. Slow, stable, a sure sign of life. He let it lull him to sleep as he ignored the prickling of guilt at the back of his consciousness.
He didn't really fall into a deep sleep. He had slept most of the day away in the med bay, even if it was medically assisted. He simply dozed lightly, enjoying the images that flashed before his half awake mind's eye. So, when he felt the stirrings of his biotics, he was instantly alert. He took in his surroundings. He was in bed, and there was no immediate threat.
He glanced at Shepard, still tucked under his arm, and noticed the blue sheen of her biotics racing over her bare skin. He pulled back to look see her face. Her lips were pressed into a straight line, and her eyes were pinched shut as she trembled lightly. She was clearly in the middle of a nightmare, and as her biotics reacted to her emotions, they woke his.
She whimpered, and Kaidan leaned down, "Sloan, wake up." He spoke firmly, and warmly. Her eyes opened and her body stilled for a long moment. She looked up and met his eyes. He felt like he'd been punched in the chest when he saw the helpless terror clouding her gaze. Seconds later, she started trembling violently in his arms. She buried her face in his chest, and wrapped her arms around him. He wasn't even sure she was really awake, but he held her. She was murmuring against him, and he couldn't make out what she was saying. He held her, as close to himself as he could. He pressed kisses to the top of her head as she nearly vibrated against him.
Eventually, she stilled but was still repeating her plea, "I'm sorry." Over and over she apologized, but he had no idea what for. He didn't release her, he dropped his lips to her ear and promised her she was okay. She pulled away from him and met his eyes, his heart broke for her. What had she dreamt? She reached up and cupped his face. She pressed her lips to his briefly, searching for something. He kissed her back and a sob broke from the back of her throat and she dropped her head to his chest again. This time, he could feel the warm, wet tears that escaped her.
Hours passed, and he wasn't sure when, but eventually she had cried herself to sleep. He tried to choke down his concern; he was unsuccessful. He didn't know what he could do. He couldn't fight away the images in her mind. All he could do was hold her. All he could do was make sure he was here with her when she woke up. That was all he could do. So that was what he did. It didn't feel like enough.