Author's Note: I have no excuses. I can only hope you're still here with me. I'm trying really hard to get back on my weekly schedule. Stick with me. Thank you to those who commented on the last chapter: Vorcha Girl, Dragoness31, Jules Hawk, ela11, Kateriel79, Kirabaros, Kirsah, Heraldcmdr, and nanasawayuri. Your comments made me smile, I only wish I'd had time to write more over the last month. Thank you for taking the time to comment and let me know what you think.

With no further delay... Enjoy. - TLC

Chapter 68

Kaidan stepped on the elevator and reached for the call button for his and Shepard's quarters. He knew she was upset, but he didn't understand why. Soldiers sparred, shit, they'd sparred before and ended up with cuts or bruises and this was no different. He couldn't understand why she would be so upset over one score and a bloody nose.

He knew he was kidding himself by thinking she wouldn't care about the reason for his bloody nose, but that was a different matter.

He reached their quarters and entered. She had changed into a pair of sweatpants and her N7 hoodie. Her hair was down, and braided over one shoulder. She didn't look at him when he entered. She kept her spot on the couch, her eyes scanning the screen of her 'tool. He leaned against the fish tank and crossed his arms over his chest as he watched her for a moment. She stayed silent.

"Sloan," He sighed her name and pushed away from the tank. He moved to face her. She turned her eyes up to him without closing her tool. "What's the problem?" His question was sincere, and non-accusatory.

She scoffed at him, her lips pressed in to a thin line and her eyes narrow. "We're supposed to be working together, and you're making decisions that affect the entire mission without speaking with me first." Her voice was low, and angry, and Kaidan braced himself for an argument.

"How does working out with James affect the mission? Outside of ensuring he's prepared to face an enemy with biotics," Kaidan asked, simply. He kept his tone neutral and didn't raise his voice.

"I'm not upset that you used your biotics on him. I think it was a great exercise and I know he learned a lot, as did the kids from Grissom. I'm upset that he hit you! I'm upset that he hit you hard enough to bleed and you don't care!" She snapped, her voice raising as her eyes lit up with her anger.

It was his turn to sneer, "I'm not made of glass, Shepard!" He shot out his answer. "One hit to the face isn't going to break me!" She stood, her hands balled into fists at her sides as she moved closer to him. Her eyes were locked on his, as if she was trying to see into him. He swallowed hard.

"Tell me you're not that fuckin stupid," She demanded as her eyes moved between his. He waited for her to continue. She threw her head back and released a mirthless chuckle. "I need to know that my…," she paused and dropped her head, placing her hands on her hips. She took a slow, deep breath before she continued. "We need to know that our crew, our team, our people are in their best shape when we go ground side…."

"James will be better now than he was before!" Kaidan interrupted her, his eyes wide with his own frustration, his hands shot out to the side as he spoke quickly, and loudly.

"Goddamn it! This isn't about James!" She snapped back, yelling now, louder than he was. He waited, and he knew she could see the confusion on his face. "What part of a rattled implant, a fractured skull, and brain swelling makes you think it's a good idea for you to take unnecessary hits to the head?" She crossed her arms over her chest. Her hip cocked as she rested her weight on her back leg.

He felt the shame trickle over him and he sighed. He reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. He should have known this is where her anger was coming from. "You're right, obviously, I didn't think about it."

She opened her mouth, and then let out a breath as confusion won out on her features, "Wait, what?" She asked, surprise in her tone. Clearly, she hadn't expected him to agree with her. He chuckled softly as he stepped closer to her; he took her hand as he continued towards the couch. He sat and she followed, sitting with one leg tucked beneath her.

"I said, you're right. I'll be more careful," he promised and she nodded as she allowed herself to lean to the side and rest against the back of the couch.

Her voice was quiet when she spoke, and the lonely tone made his chest ache. "There is no one else, Kaidan. There is no one to pick up the mantle if we fail. If we fail, it's over. We have to make sure we do everything we can, and that means going into every mission in the best shape we can. That means not taking unnecessary risks and making sure we take care of ourselves." She reached over and took his hand, their fingers zipped together instantly, and Kaidan nearly choked on the guilt that crept through him.

He swallowed thickly, and squeezed her hand. She had been fighting this battle longer than he had. It struck him then, how much must be on her mind all of the time. Sure, he was here, with her, and they were fighting, but she had already grasped the finality of their fight. It was something that made Kaidan's stomach churn, and his chest constrict. He didn't want to think about the big picture. He didn't want to consider what would happen if they lost. He couldn't think about a world without her in it. "That means no more skipping meals," he challenged her and knew his words struck home when her face flushed and she chewed her lip. She nodded, but said nothing. Kaidan continued. "I still think I should keep working with James and the biotics," Kaidan insisted, and Shepard lifted her head and met his eyes. "We just won't throw punches. He got better at getting out and avoiding the holds in just the hour today."

She let out a breath through her nose, and her eyes narrowed as she considered him. After a few moment's hesitation, she agreed with a simple, "Alright, but don't expect me to watch next time." Kaidan smiled and leaned forward; she met him in a kiss. He felt her hand on his face, her fingers skimming along the stubble on his jaw as he moved closer to her. His lips parted. He allowed her to deepen their kiss as he placed his hands next to her to brace himself as they shifted. She laid back as her hand slid across his shoulders, making him shudder as she passed his amp port, and hooked her elbow around his neck. He settled in the cradle of her hips as his arms slid behind her and held her close to him - their kiss never breaking.

He was a junkie; addicted to her, one kiss like the first hit of red sand sending him reeling and leaving him needing more.

She broke their kiss and he gasped as her lips moved to his neck, her teeth scraping lightly against the skin as he pressed his hips into hers. She whimpered softly. One of his hands moved to her hip and rear, grasping and palming the firm skin. A soft moan slipped from her as his tongue ran up her neck. She trembled beneath him and his mind spun as their bodies moved together. Her head fell away from him as he nipped lightly at her collarbone and his hand slid beneath her shirt.

The door chimed.

Shepard's head fell back and she laughed; loud, rich, and from her center. Kaidan dropped his head to the crook of her neck with a groan; his breathing was heavy and erratic as he tried to bring himself down. She ran her hands through his hair. He waited until his breathing settled before pulling back and looking down at her. She was smiling, and her eyes were bright. He kissed her quickly, called her the devil, and pushed away. He sat, adjusting his pants, and her tongue darted out wetting her lips as the door chimed again.

He watched her as she stood and straightened her clothes. She smoothed her hair before stepping past him to go to the door. Kaidan stood and went to the bedside table. He pulled out a bottle of a whiskey type liquor and some glasses. He turned as Kahlee was stepping down into the living area. She smiled warmly at him as she set down a bottle of wine Kaidan was sure she had confiscated from the lounge on the crew deck. Kahlee fell onto the couch as Jack and Shepard stepped down into the room.

"I didn't even leave a mark, Alenko. That fuckin' Lift was uncalled for," Jack snapped as her greeting as she climbed onto one of the chairs in the room. She kicked her feet out, resting her boots on the coffee table, snarling as she lifted her bottle to her lips.

Kaidan watched as a snickering Sloan followed and folded herself down onto the couch. Kaidan shrugged. "I'm willing to bet you won't hit Sloan again," Kaidan replied simply as he joined them in the corner, settling easily next to Shepard. He leaned forward and poured himself a drink as Kahlee handed Sloan a glass of wine.

"I'll beat the piss out of her if she ever associates with fuckin' Cerberus again," Jack answered, her voice an honest growl as she stretched her neck side to side. So, that was why Jack hit her. He knew Jack had served with Shepard during her stint with the organization.

"What do you have against them?" Kaidan asked, as he took a swallow of the amber liquor. It burned slightly more than whiskey, and less so than the Krogan favorite ryncol. It wasn't as good as the whiskey he'd shared with his father, but it would do.

"You mean, aside from their wicked insane torture studies and human sacrifices?" Jack asked, sarcasm dripping from her tone.

"Well," Kaidan paused as he sat back and stretched his drink free arm along the back of the couch. Shepard shifted closer and leaned into his side. Her presence was comforting, the weight of her reassuring, at his side. "Yeah, aside from all that."

"You can't trust a thing Cerberus says," Jack snapped, her hand seemed drawn to her neck and she scratched lightly. Kaidan noticed the area she was scratching was a rare spot free of ink, but it was still damaged. Scar tissue from something, and Kaidan suspected from the woman's tone, that Cerberus was behind it. "Pro-human my ass. You're looking at what they're willing to do to humans to advance humanity. I didn't start out like this," she snapped, her tone harsh, but Kaidan sensed it was born of an old trauma. "They wanted to make a perfect biotic soldier," her accompanying chuckle was more angry than anything else. "They got me instead."

"I wondered why I had never crossed paths with you," Kaidan admitted as he watched Jack knock back the rest of her drink before pouring herself another.

Jack snorted, "It's not like my Mommy and Daddy hired me some private Asari tutor."

Kaidan interrupted her before she had the chance to continue, "That would have been heaven. I was packed up and shipped out to Jump Zero, cut off from my family while some crazed ex-military Turian whipped us into proper biotics." Kaidan was surprised at how easily that information fell from him.

Not to be outdone, Jack leaned back and rocked the chair on two legs. "Well, the shit I've been through would make your worst nightmares seem like your favorite wet dream." Kahlee sighed at Jack's choice of words, and the tattooed woman's eyes flicked to her quickly.

"I'm not so sure about that," Kaidan spoke the words softly, his eyes moving down to Shepard briefly before looking up and finding Jack's. He felt Shepard snuggle closer to his side at his statement, and he tightened his hold on her instinctively.

"Yeah, well, everyone has their demons," Jack said leaning forward and resting her elbows on her knees. "I'm just glad we stopped them today." Her voice was softer than Kaidan expected, somber even. Her words, or maybe it was her tone, changed the feeling of the room.

"It kills me that I can't figure out what they're up to," Shepard sighed, her free hand resting easily on Kaidan's thigh. He reached down and took it in his hand. He didn't miss Kahlee watching them and their interactions. He had the sense she was assessing him, and that she would report back to Anderson. He wasn't worried. Kaidan was brought out of his thoughts when Shepard continued, "According to some of the information Kahlee pilfered from the troops at the school, they wanted to put the students through their Phantom program. Apparently, it had been their end goal for me." Kaidan could sense the underlying fear in her words, even if it wasn't in her tone as she spoke.

"Unfortunately for them, you went rogue, stole their ship, turned their crew against them, and told them to fuck off. Just like you did today, a big screw you to the Illusive Man. It was a good day, Shep," Jack insisted, and Kaidan agreed with the sentiment, but he knew where Shepard's concern was coming from.

"I agree, we got everyone off the station and the only casualties were on the other side. That being said, they're causing mayhem everywhere, and distracting us far too often. Mars, and the Citadel," Shepard's eyes flicked to Kaidan when she mentioned those two, and he forced an annoyed breath out through his nose, she squeezed his hand, "and now today at Grissom. They're up to something. The Illusive Man was never sane; I worry the Reapers have somehow indoctrinated him."

That thought was seriously troubling. The Illusive Man was powerful in his own right, with political ties purchased with his exorbitant cash resources. It was the reason the Alliance had never been able to stop him. He was too well connected, and funded. If the Reapers were controlling him, it only made the Reapers stronger. "I didn't make sense to me that he would be after humans when Cerberus has always been pro-humanity," Kahlee added as she sat back sipping her wine.

"We'll have to keep an eye on them. I'll see if EDI and Traynor can hack into their communications. We were lucky Traynor heard your call and realized it hadn't actually been answered," Shepard sighed and pulled away from Kaidan, stretching. "I can't believe, in the middle of this war, we're going to have to split our resources like this. We can't win if we're fighting this war on two fronts." She leaned back, lying on the couch, and placed her feet on Kaidan's lap.

A comfortable silence fell on the group as the day's events caught up with them. Kaidan's hands fell onto Shepard's feet, she glanced at him and wiggled her toes. He gave her a smile and started rubbing her feet absently. Kahlee was watching Kaidan and Sloan, a genuine smile playing on her lips. "I see you finally gave up on the fish?" Jack broke the silence with her question nodding towards the empty tank. She finished her beverage and set the empty bottle on the table before stretching her arms over her head.

"The little fuckers kept dying," Sloan said with a shrug.

"Sloan!" Kahlee scolded, her voice rising sharply with disapproval; Kaidan and Jack exchanged a look as Shepard's cheeks colored.

"They've heard worse, Kahlee! They're adults, marines, not students," Shepard replied as she sat up, pulling her feet from Kaidan's lap and folding her legs beneath her.

"I'm not a marine," Jack argued through a grin. Shepard shot her a loot, all narrow eyes and pursed lips.

"They've heard me say worse," Shepard muttered, and Kahlee sighed. Kaidan struggled not to laugh, his hand went to his mouth as Jack's eyebrow arched. He couldn't hold it in, his laugh slipped from his lips and instantly all eyes were on him. Kahlee was the first to ask what was so funny.

"I'm sorry, it's just… 'fuck' is the first word I heard her say," He said, bringing his laughter back under control. He glanced at Shepard who looked surprised.

"No, it wasn't," Shepard argued, her eyes bright.

"It most definitely was, in the amp shop on Arcturus," Kaidan reminded her. "The shopkeep mixed up our orders and tried telling you yours wasn't in." He watched as the memory returned, and her grin widened.

"Oh yeah, you were so adorable. With your excuse me, Ma'ams." He chuckled softly as her laugh rang out, warming him.

Jack interrupted them, "When I met her, she threatened to leave me on a failing station."

"The station was a prison I had just broken you out of," Shepard defended her actions.

"That's not really helping your cause here, Sloan," Kahlee teased, her tone light. They all knew Shepard had done things that were less than pristine in her career, especially during her time with Cerberus. Kaidan had the feeling that if Shepard had been with any other group of people, she would have been defensive and not smiling like she was now.

"Yeah, well, it's a good thing I did. I couldn't have stopped the Collectors without her," Sloan insisted, and Jack agreed. Kaidan sighed, he wished he had been there. Shepard reached out and took his hand. It was as if she knew what his sigh meant. He linked their fingers and turned his attention back to Jack and Kahlee who were discussing the students.

As the evening wore on, Kaidan felt Shepard relaxing more than she had, maybe ever. Something about the atmosphere, and the way she watched Kahlee, reaffirmed for Kaidan how important family was to her. He knew his mother would adore Shepard, and he clung to the hope that she would be able to get to know her, once the war was over. He glanced down to where she was resting, her back pressed against his side, and her feet up on the back of the couch. His arm was draped over her. She yawned, and Kahlee spoke, "It is getting late. We should make sure the kids are set and get some sleep."

"Yeah, alright," Jack said as she stood and stretched. Kahlee followed, and Shepard reluctantly pulled herself from Kaidan's arms to usher them the door. Kaidan stood and started to collect the glasses and empty bottles. When he turned Jack was standing in front of him. Her eyes dark and intense as she glared at him. He raised an eyebrow at her in question. "Keep her safe."

"I will," Kaidan promised, momentarily struck by the command. Jack didn't seem like the type of person to let herself care about people, but it was clear she cared about Shepard. Jack just nodded and turned on her heel to follow Kahlee. Kaidan watched as Shepard turned back into the room after the elevator closed. "She's a character."

Shepard grinned and gestured over her shoulder, "Who, Jack?" Her question was laced with teasing and Kaidan chuckled softly. "She takes some getting used to. She's been through a lot, but she's also grown more than I would have thought since we got her from Purgatory. I'm glad I was right about her," Shepard added as she helped Kaidan straighten up.

Once they had finished cleaning up, they dropped the glasses into the bin by the door. They would take them down to the mess in the morning. Kaidan turned and watched as Shepard climbed into bed. She settled into the pillows and pulled the blanket up to her chin with a sigh. He followed her, removing his amp as she had, and setting it carefully into its case before sliding beneath the blanket and turning to her. She leaned forward and kissed him quickly and soundly.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her to him. He loved how easily she moved to him, instinctively, almost. Their legs twisted together and his arms wrapped around her. He felt her sigh, and together they fell asleep. The next day would bring a face to face meeting with Hackett, new leads to follow, and resources to track down. Their work would not be over until it was, and as anxious as Kaidan was for it, he was scared to think about what the end of the war would bring.