Author's Note: This chapter is a bit darker than I expected. I hope you like it. Thank you to those who have added The Reason to their favorite or follow lists. Those notices always put a smile on my face. An extra thank you to those who commented on the last chapter: Zacharti, Vorcha Girl, Kirabaros, Jules Hawk, ela11, Kirsah, and Anubis85. Thank you for sticking with me. I am very anxious to hear what you think of this chapter.

Shamless plug: A good friend of mine recently got me addicted to tumblr. (You know who you are.) If you're interested in learning more about me, any of my characters, Sloan and her Kaidan, Jess and her Kaidan, or Aria and James, or if you want to see sneak peeks of upcoming chapters before they're posted, feel free to follow me: tlcinbflo. tumblr .com

With no further delay ... Enjoy! - TLC

***TRIGGER WARNING!***

This chapter includes character death, and suicide.

Chapter Seventy

Kaidan stepped off the elevator and onto the crew deck. They were close to Lesuss. It was just about time to get ready to go groundside. He hadn't seen Shepard since she'd given the order. He turned when he heard a door open. His eyes landed on Shepard as she exited Life Support. Her arms were crossed over her midsection. She paused, tilted her head back and took a deep breath. She turned to face him and froze when she noticed his presence. She forced a smile; it didn't reach her eyes.

She started towards him. "We've got forty minutes until we land, Alenko; we should go get dressed." She tried to move past him, but he reached out and took her arm.

"Sloan," his voice was stern, and she froze.

"We don't have time for this now," she answered without looking at him.

"You've been avoiding me for hours, and now we're heading to an Ardat Yakshi monastery to face commandos and mind fuckery; you're going to give me five minutes." He didn't miss her tense as he spoke to her. She turned her frozen stare at him, but he didn't waver. "You're the one who said we had to make sure our crew is in their best shape before missions." He threw her words back at her, and she growled quietly, glancing quickly over his shoulder.

She pulled her arm out of his grip and went to the elevator. "Are you coming?" She didn't even turn to look at him as she stepped into the car and waited. He joined her and she punched the call button for the cargo bay a little harder than necessary. She turned and leaned against the opposite wall, arms crossed over her chest. "What do you want?"

He swallowed hard. "I want to know what's wrong with you. You've been upset since Liara told you about the monastery. Why?" He knew he was prodding, poking at her when she didn't want to talk about it. He knew he'd irked her when he threw her words back at her, but it was still a valid point. Right now, she wasn't okay. She needed to admit it, and accept it, or she would be putting herself, the crew, and the mission at risk.

"I'm fine." Her words were flat, and cold.

"Don't lie to me."

"What do you want me to say, Kaidan?" Her eyes finally met his, and he was stunned momentarily by the rage he saw there. Yes, it was rage, but behind it, was pure unadulterated fear. It haunted her, and there was nothing he could do to make it go away.

"Tell me why you're scared," he demanded the truth from her, and as soon as he spoke the words the bravado melted away and he saw the truth behind the anger. She hugged herself tighter and dropped her eyes.

"We don't have time for that conversation right now," she insisted, and Kaidan sighed roughly. She glared up at him. "It's a bit of a tale, and we have to go, and before you suggest it, no, I'm not talking about it in front of anyone else. So, discussing it on the shuttle is out of the question. I can't, but I will tell you when we get back," she offered. He sighed, still cross, but he knew she was right. They didn't have time. The elevator doors opened, and she waited for his response before moving.

"Fine," he answered and she nodded, the hardness returning to her eyes as she turned from him and led him off the elevator. She strode across the bay, the ever confident and in control Commander the crew needed her to be. They moved to their lockers; Garrus was at the shuttle with Vega and Cortez prepping to leave. Kaidan and Shepard stripped to their skivvies before pulling on their underarmor. They were efficient, and quick. Practiced soldiers who had done this countless times.

When they finished, they moved to the shuttle, "All right, let's go." She gave the order as Vega handed them their weapons. Cortez gave a nod and went to the pilot seat as Garrus sat on the shuttle and secured himself. Shepard checked Kaidan's armor first, and try as he might, he couldn't ignore it as her hands moved from shoulder to shoulder, her gloved fingers trembled just slightly. She tapped his shoulder guard and she stepped in front of him.

He checked the closures at her hips, up her sides, and across her back. He tapped her shoulder guard, but before she could step away he placed his hands on her shoulders and pulled her back into his chest. He dropped his lips to her ear and spoke firmly, but quietly, "You're not alone." He heard, and felt, her let out a breath as she relaxed momentarily against him, reaching up to take his hand briefly. She squeezed, and when she released him, he released her and they stepped onto the shuttle.

"Take us out, Cortez," Shepard ordered and the pilot accepted. She braced herself with the bar above her head as Kaidan secured himself next to Garrus. "This is what we know: The monastery sent out a distress signal. Asari high command, fearing Reaper involvement, sent a team of Commandos to investigate. If there was a chance the Ardat Yakshi could break loose, the commandos were ordered to purge the monastery."

"Purge? You mean, destroy?" Garrus asked, his disbelief evident through the tones in his voice. Kaidan looked back to Shepard, and was surprised by how okay she was with the thought.

"Yeah, they would have brought enough explosives to level the place. Frankly, we don't have a lot of time to waste here. We need to get this taken care of as quickly as possible. We find the Commandos, finish the job, and get the hell out of here. No bull shit," She ordered as Cortez landed them on site. Garrus and Kaidan nodded as they stood and readied their weapons. "Cortez, stay nearby but out of sight. We'll need you back quickly for extraction." She gave the order as the shuttle door opened and they stepped off.

Lessus was beautiful, even if it was home to a monastery of serial murderers. The sky was clear, and the colors of the foliage were striking. Kaidan tore his eyes from the landscape and followed Shepard towards the entrance. When the doors opened, and it became apparent that the elevators were down, Kaidan felt an icy chill slip over his spine. This didn't bode well for the souls here.

They continued into the building, taking the ladders down into the structure. They didn't make it very far when an outlandish shriek broke through the air. It was feral, laced with anger and despair, and the hairs on the back of Kaidan's neck stood. He shuddered. "Listen," he spoke softly, as that same sound rang out again. "There are a lot more than one." He didn't miss the way Shepard's hand twitched at her side as they continued.

"Stay sharp," she ordered as they continued their search. The elevators were down because the power was out. If it hadn't been for the lights at the end of their weapons they would have been in complete darkness. Kaidan couldn't shake the feeling that someone, something, was watching them. He wanted, more than anything, to get out of this building and back on the Normandy. First, they had to complete this mission. Part of him was looking forward to watching this place burn; if only to kill this feeling on his skin.

Kaidan hated to think it, but the monastery had a feeling similar to Mars, the feeling of life just stopping. It was quiet, too quiet, too still. Everybody was simply gone. It made Kaidan's stomach churn when he considered their fate. Had they escaped? Or had they been transformed?

They continued their search in the same stagnant silence, broken only by the soft falls of their feet on the tiled floor. Shepard startled him when she stopped and let out a string of particularly colorful curse words. His eyes moved to the spot illuminated by her light. The Asari commandos lay motionless on the floor, pools of blood surrounding them. Kaidan glanced over his shoulder and spotted a Cannibal corpse lying nearby, he said as much. "So, this explains why High Command never heard back from their team." Shepard said nothing, she dropped to a crouch and examined the body.

"Yeah, but this is out of the way. What would the Reapers want with Ardat Yakshi?" Garrus asked as Shepard scrolled through a datapad she had pulled from the deceased commando. Garrus's question would go unanswered. Kaidan didn't want to think about it, and he knew Shepard didn't either.

"Anything useful?" He asked her as she stood. She locked eyes with him, and she seemed grateful he chose not to continue Garrus's line of thought; not out loud, at least.

"Yeah, a map to the bomb. It's in the Great Hall. Let's blow this fucker and get the hell off this planet," Shepard answered as she loaded the information to her 'tool and sent the file to Garrus and Kaidan before signaling them to continue moving. Kaidan and Garrus met eyes, and Kaidan was sure the Turian was as concerned as he was about Shepard. They fell into step behind her and she led them towards their destination.

They entered an open room, large full windows looked out on the greenery outside the monastery. It would have been beautiful, if it wasn't for the sickly feeling of the space they were in. They reached the edge of the walkway and looked over the side at the sound of a grunt and a body thumping to the floor. "Samara?" The name jogged Kaidan's memory. Like many other things, he had read about the Asari Justicar in her reports. Samara helped Shepard on the Collector base.

"It has been some time, Shepard," Her voice was gentle, like the caress of a warm breeze. Though, it carried with it the weight of a millennia, it was pleasant, and Kaidan stepped next to Shepard to see the Asari. She had kohl rimmed eyes and dark colored lips, she moved with a grace born in battle and a confidence befitting her years. She was striking. "You are a most welcome sight. The corruption here runs deep."

"I didn't expect to see a Justicar here," Shepard admitted, gently prodding for more information.

"My daughters are here," Samara admitted, and Kaidan was moved by the utter sadness in her voice. "I came here for them, but I was too late. By the time I arrived, the Reapers had already infested the place."

"I met Morinth," Shepard reminded the Justicar, and Kaidan nearly winced at the tremble in her voice that reinforced his questions. He bit his tongue, and watched the exchange. "Are these daughters just as dangerous?"

"No, Shepard, Falere and Rila…"

"I don't want to know their names, Samara," Shepard interrupted the Asari, holding her hand up and closing her eyes. "This isn't a rescue mission."

Samara's eyes narrowed, and Kaidan's hand drifted towards his pistol; though, he doubted his sidearm would be very effective against the Justicar. The tension between the warriors was heavy; both had their own code, and Kaidan couldn't foresee a way for this to end well. "My daughters came to this monastery so they would not end up like their sister. They have followed the rules and avoided violence. I am here for them, Shepard. They are my responsibility, and it cannot be abandoned; even as our galaxy crumbles."

"Well, I'm set to detonate a bomb that will cease any responsibility you have here fairly efficiently. I suggest you find them, before I find the bomb," Shepard said, turning away from the railing and moving towards the stairs. They heard Samara start towards the doorway beneath them and Garrus and Kaidan exchanged a look as they followed Shepard. As they moved to the lower level, they heard the same shriek from before. Goose flesh rose on Kaidan's skin and his biotics reacted slightly. "Goddamn it, what is that?" Shepard muttered, and Kaidan made a soft noise when he noticed the body of another Commando. She turned, and waited as he stopped to check the Asari. He found a datapad with a message to her bondmate and he pocketed it before standing. He fell into step behind Shepard again.

The screaming continued, and Shepard gave the hand signal for them to move faster. As they moved through the building, Kaidan tried to think back on the comments from her files on Samara. He had to admit, he was surprised by the hostility between the pair, and not for the first time today he worried about her, and what exactly she had been through. He didn't have long to think about it.

There was another ground shattering scream, much closer than anyone would like and suddenly, they were face to face with the Reaper altered Ardat Yakshi. Its once blue flesh was grey and black and stretched like leather over its skeleton. Its belly was round, and firm and protruded before it like a woman in her final trimester. Elongated fingers hung at the ends of thin arms. The cartilage on its head stretched back like some kind of wicked, evil crown. Its eyes were black and its mouth gaped wide when it screeched.

It was terrifying.

Kaidan and Garrus ducked into cover quickly before he glanced around for Shepard. He found her frozen in one spot, her eyes wide in fear and glued on the screaming Banshee. She trembled, her rifle gripped tight in her hands. "Commander!" Kaidan shouted, putting the weight of his years of command behind the title. She jumped, startled, and perhaps embarrassed, as she went for cover. Garrus stood, and fired two quick shots at the Banshee before dropping next to Kaidan.

"Two hits and it's still standing!" Garrus offered as he reloaded his rifle. Kaidan glanced at Shepard and watched her take two slow breaths before standing and firing with own. Kaidan followed suit. He tried his biotics, but a simple Throw was ineffective. He dropped next to Garrus as the Turian stood to take another shot. He waited for Shepard to stop firing before he stood again. Shepard crouched low to reload and Kaidan stood firing his automatic rifle into the swollen belly of the beast.

With one final screech, it fell. The silence that followed rang in their ears. Before Kaidan could say anything, Shepard was on her feet and headed for the Great Hall. "Let's go." Kaidan clenched his teeth and followed. Before they reached their destination, they were bombarded with cannibals. It seemed as if when one fell, there was one behind it to pick up the scraps and continue on in its place. As the fighting continued, Kaidan knew they had no choice but to blow the place. It was completely overrun.

His 'tool was warm to the touch and his amp was tingling at the base of his head as he used his biotics. He wasn't even using full power, but the frequency of the attacks caused the gentle hum and he ignored the churning worry in his core and focused on where to place his next bullet, or Throw. He risked a glance to Shepard and found her firing mercilessly at the Cannibals, her eyes cold and hard and her lips pressed in a tight line. Gone was the woman. This was the fierce Commander, focused on the mission with tunneled vision.

When the last Cannibal fell, silence filled the area like a heavy blanket. They picked up spare thermal clips dropped by the Commandos who had fallen before them. "Everyone alright?" Shepard asked as they regrouped.

"Affirmative," Kaidan answered as Garrus grunted. Shepard nodded and led them through the door. Kaidan watched as she hacked the lock on her own. The doors opened just in time for them to watch Samara and another Asari finish off two remaining Cannibals. They witnessed the lackluster reunion of mother and daughter. As Samara attempted to introduce Shepard to Samara's youngest, Falere interrupted with the news that the Reapers had her sister, Rila.

Kaidan risked a glance at Shepard, and she was unmoved. "What do the Reapers want with you?" Shepard asked, and Kaidan nearly flinched at the sharpness of her tone.

Falere glared at Shepard, but it only lasted a moment before her eyes dropped and she swallowed hard. "They're harvesting us. They're turning us into these … monsters." She gestured to the corpse of a Banshee, and Shepard nodded. It was what they had assumed. The Reapers must have been interested in the Ardat Yakshi's ability to meld with and persuade another.

"I see. Asari Command believed the Ardat Yakshi were behind the attacks," Shepard started, and she glared at Falere when she was interrupted, again.

"The Ardat Yakshi would never; we achieve peace here! This is our home!" Falere argued. It was unclear whether or not Falere knew who she was arguing with. It wasn't common for Shepard to be someplace her reputation hadn't reached first, but Kaidan had a feeling the isolation here would have been a lot like Brain Camp. Take what you're ashamed of, lock it away, and hope it stays there. Kaidan felt it in his chest when Falere pleaded for her sister's life. He waited, deferring to Shepard. He wasn't sure what the protocol was for dealing with a Justicar, and was unsure he wanted to risk offending her.

"I vouch for her," Samara added, "with pride."

Shepard snorted, unmoved by the woman's opinion of her daughter, code or not. "Samara, you know my mission. If you want to save your daughters, go now."

"Mission?" Falere asked.

"I am going to blow up this building," Shepard announced simply, the condescension in her tone sounded odd. Kaidan glanced at Garrus as Shepard turned her back on the frantic Asari, he looked equally concerned. Falere took off, and Samara followed as they searched for Rila.

"Shepard, maybe we should…" Garrus started.

"No," Shepard answered turning to look at him. "I can't risk it. I've been on the receiving end of their particular set of skills. It's a power we can't let the Reapers have. Who knows how many they've already collected. We can't. This place goes, whether Samara gets her girls or not." She turned on her heel and continued towards the Great Hall without further comment, without giving either the opportunity to add anything else.

He knew she was right, as much as her coldness angered him, he knew they had to destroy the monastery. Part of him thought they should have given Samara time to save her daughters, but if they were truly as bad as Shepard said, maybe it was for the best. He had no experience with them, so it was hard for him to argue.

He bit his tongue and followed her. They took the stairs down to the lower level, following the map to the hall. After moving a few feet into the space, they heard the rap rap rap of a rifle and rounds ricocheted off Kaidan's shields. He shouted an order for cover, and the three of them dropped behind the nearest bench. They were in some kind of open foyer. There were windows, fountains, and benches lined up all over. The area was also flooded with Cannibals, husks, and more Banshees. Shepard cursed over the moaning and screeching as Kaidan checked his ammo reserves and Shepard pulled up the map.

"We're going to have to plow through them," Shepard spoke from her spot between them. "According to the map, the hall, and the bomb are just on the other side of this walkway." He watched as she scanned the map to find a better extraction point. Garrus stood and fired off a few rounds as the husk's moaning grew closer. "Here," she pointed to a door on the far side. They would have plenty of time to set off the bomb and escape out the other side of the room. "We need to get to here once the bomb is set to avoid the blast," she pointed to a space behind an outcropping of rock. Kaidan and Garrus nodded. She radioed Cortez and gave him the new coordinates with the order to be there in fifteen minutes. She looked to Kaidan, and he was surprised by the utter lack of emotion in her eyes.

Maybe he shouldn't have been.

"Let's go," she ordered, and they stood running through the space. Gunfire echoed around the room, nearly drowned out by the constant buzz of the husk's moans and the eerie screech of the Banshees.

Kaidan shuddered as Shepard biotically Charged through the space. Her force knocked Cannibals and Husks backwards. They flew off their feet as the Banshees charged forward. Kaidan and Garrus did what they could as they tried to clear up what she left behind, and keep the Banshees at bay. They reached the door to the Great Hall at once. Their goal was to get inside and bar the door so they could set the bomb and leave through the back. The door was locked. "Goddamn it!" Shepard yelled as she failed to hack the mechanism. There were half a dozen banshees in the room, closing in on them.

Kaidan threw up a Barrier around them. The blue half dome arched from floor to ceiling, keeping the Banshees away even as they clawed at it. He could get a clear view of them, up close, and they were the single most disturbing being he had ever seen. Empty black eyes, a gaping cavern of a mouth lined with rotting teeth; he shuddered, glad he could only smell eezo, and closed his eyes as Garrus took over the hack. He could feel Shepard's presence behind him, ready to pick up the Barrier if it faltered.

The light turned green and the door opened. "When you drop the Barrier, I'm going to put everything I have into a Nova. I'm hoping it will knock them back a few feet. Get into the Great Hall, I'll be right behind you." Kaidan swallowed hard, but nodded. "On three." She counted, and when she reached three, he dropped the barrier and ran. He heard her bellow and the force of her Nova knocked him forward slightly. He fell into Garrus and turned around to see the Banshees closing in on her again as she stood. His heart sank as she seemed to shrink before the onslaught. Without thinking, he reached out and Pulled her away from them. The force of the Pull was so strong she knocked into him as the door slid shut. The Banshees shrieked their disappointment.

She was trembling, and he tried to hold her, for just a minute, but she pushed against his chest. She turned away from him without speaking and strode purposefully through the room to the bomb. Kaidan's hands fisted at his sides as he followed her, he glanced at Garrus whose eyes were hard, and his mandibles eerily still. The Turian was clearly upset with Shepard's actions; his stoicism a sign of his disappointment. There was Banshee screaming and it wasn't as far off as they would have liked.

Shepard picked up the detonator just as Samara, Falere, and Rila entered the room. Kaidan looked to the trio, as Shepard stood straighter, the detonator in hand. "You made it," She said, barely hiding her disappointment. She gave the signal and Kaidan went to the bomb to arm it.

He opened the console and watched the data stream over the screen. There was a section mission, and he couldn't copy anything to fill the chain. "Shepard, the remote detonation capability is damaged. I can't arm it," Kaidan announced, and Shepard's shoulders fell as Garrus confirmed his statement.

"We don't have any time! They're right at the door!" Rila sounded frantic, and she was trembling. When she turned and met Shepard's eyes, they were completely black. Shepard gasped and took a step back as she raised her pistol.

"You're already changing," Shepard accused and Samara stepped in front of her daughter. Kaidan and Garrus reacted on instinct, raising their weapons to show support of their leader. Kaidan didn't take aim, but he was ready to protect Shepard if he needed to.

"Shepard, please!" Samara begged, and Rila sighed placing her hand on her mother's shoulder.

"No, mother, she's right," Rila said, her voice dropping. She sounded resigned, and she stepped out from behind Samara.

"What? No! Rila!" Falere said, as Rila stepped towards Shepard, her hands up palm out.

"It's too late for me. I'll stay behind, and detonate the bomb. Please, get my mother and my sister to safety," she pleaded, and Shepard couldn't help but glare at the Asari.

"Fine," She answered, her desire to be done with this place was seeping with every movement, every word, every twitch of muscle. The banging at the doors continued, and the frames started to bend. Falere started to scream, and Kaidan winced. He knew it would be difficult to leave family here, but even Rila accepted her own fate. She promised to make sure her death accomplished something. She promised to take out the structure and every living thing in it.

It fell on Shepard's deaf ears as she moved towards the door, Garrus and Kaidan were behind her. The banging on the hall doors continued. The frame cracked, and Shepard shouted that they had to leave before the door was breached. Samara pulled her sobbing youngest child off her sister and dragged her to the door. Shepard didn't turn back as she walked through the back door and into the humid night as the front door of the hall fell open. Banshees poured in, screaming.

They ran.

They had seconds before Rila would set off the bomb. They ran until they reached safety. As Samara pulled Falere behind the rocks, the bomb went off. The ground shook beneath their feet as they crouched down and waited for the quaking to stop. It lasted forever, but only a few seconds. Then, there was noting but absolute silence.

"What will you do now?" Shepard asked Samara after a long moment. Samara looked up, her dark eyes reconciled to her decision.

"There is only one thing I can do," The Asari Justicar answered turning to Falere. "The Code dictates that an Ardat Yakshi cannot live outside a monastery that has been destroyed. The Ardat Yakshi must be killed." Samara said as she pulled out her pistol. Kaidan's eyes widened as he watched. Garrus's mandibles twitched, but both men remained silent as Shepard allowed Samara to continue. "By the Justicar's Code, there is only one way to save Falere. I am sorry."

Before anyone could react, Samara lifted her pistol to her temple and fired. Kaidan jumped, startled by the unexpected action, and Garrus flinched towards the Justicar. The Turian's action was too late. Shepard watched as Samara's body fell, lifeless, to the ground. Blood pooled instantly as her sightless eyes seemed to follow Falere as she fell towards her mother's body.

"No! Mother!" she was openly crying, and Shepard gave her a moment of grief. "Why would she do this after Rila saved our lives?" Falere cried out. "This isn't right. She died because of her code," Falere wiped her eyes before turning them to Shepard. "She died because I am an Ardat Yakshi." She was looking for an absolution.

Falere was looking for forgiveness in the wrong place. In all the time he had known Shepard, he had never seen her like this. She was void of everything. She had no emotion, no history, no future. He would have expected a woman who watched her own parents gunned down in front of her to have some kind of reaction to what she had just witnessed; what she had just allowed. Shepard didn't.

"You're right," Shepard answered with a quick nod. "This is your fault." She lifted her pistol and before anyone could register what was happening, she pulled the trigger. The shock was the last emotion on Falere's face as the back of her head exploded from the force of the close range bullet. Brain matter and other organic material splashed onto Samara's face as Falere's body fell backwards. She landed on top of her mother.

"Shepard!" Kaidan screamed her name in pure rage. He started towards her but Garrus grabbed his arm; his reaction was quick enough this time. He couldn't believe what he'd just seen. He couldn't stand the thought that she had killed her. Falere had been unarmed and at Shepard's mercy, and Shepard executed her.

Shepard did not react to Kaidan; she simply holstered her weapon and turned towards the extraction point. "Let's go. We're done here."

Author's Note: This chapter took a very dark turn, and I am so anxious to hear what you think of Sloan's actions. Let's discuss. - TLC

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