Author's Note: I have been terrible with time management lately. Excuses aside, I want to thank those who are still reading and enjoying my story. Welcome to those who have added this to their favorite or follow lists. I'm sorry if I didn't send a thank you personally. An extra thank you to those who reviewed the last chapter, your comments mean the world to me; thank you: TaiKee, Kirabaros, Kateriel79, Aeowyn99, Vorcha Girl, ela11, Jules Hawk, Schizoid-Freak, and Kirsah. Knowing you're still reading and that you liked it enough to let me know is more motivating than I can say.
Thank you, again ... Enjoy! - TLC
Chapter Seventy-Two
Kaidan scrubbed his hands over his face as the elevator doors opened in front of him. He stared at the door to their cabin for a long few minutes. The conversation he'd had with Sloan hitting him in the gut. He sighed and stepped towards the door. It was too much to think about, and it made his head throb just slightly. Regardless of anything that happened today, all he wanted was to wrap himself around Sloan and sleep. The door opened and allowed him to enter their sanctuary. He hadn't drunk nearly enough to be inebriated; his metabolism burned it off quicker than he drank it. He glanced towards the bed, expecting to see Sloan sleeping among the sheets.
It was empty.
He stepped further into the room and found her curled up on the couch, fast asleep, and still dressed in her BDUs. He closed the distance between them and knelt near her head. He reached out and let his fingers slide down the side of her face. Even in sleep, she reacted to his touch, tilting her face towards his hand. "Sloan," He whispered her name, and she winced; her eyes squeezed tight. "Shepard, come on, you should get into bed," He added, leaning forward and placing a kiss on her cheek. She nodded against him.
He pulled away, and watched as she sat up. She opened her eyes and met his. She looked grumpy, her lips pouting and her eyes clouded with sleep. She cleared her throat, "Are you coming to bed now?" Her voice sounded small.
"Yeah, I am." He couldn't help the smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. "Bathroom first. I'll be right there." She nodded and he stood, going back up the stairs to their bathroom. He heard her rustling around as he took care of his basic needs. By the time he finished and emerged, he was struck still by the image before him. Shepard had stripped, her BDUs were still lying on the floor by the bed, and crawled under the blankets. She was stretched out across the bed; her arms wrapped around a pillow. Her curves illuminated by the glow of the fish tank.
He sighed, and leaned against the desk and watched her for a moment. She seemed so small, so fragile, so feminine as she slept there. It was such a contrast, such a beautiful contrast to the ugliness in her eyes earlier that day. He let a deep breath out through his nose as he stepped closer to the bed. He climbed in next to her, and she rolled towards him. She wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. He placed a kiss to the top of her head and slowly ran his hand through her hair.
That was three days ago.
The following morning, Sloan had made the rounds to the crew, apologizing. She wasn't apologizing for her decisions, she didn't even offer the explanation to Garrus, but she did apologize for how she treated the crew when she returned. Then, she'd called a meeting and explained that she had to meet with Aria T'Loak and go to Omega. In return for the assistance of her mercenaries, she had to help the crime boss retake the station from Cerberus.
She had to go alone.
Kaidan hated it. Fear and anxiety mixed in his core as he listened to her reasoning. She avoided his eyes as the meeting came to an end. He stood at the table opposite her as the crew filed out. He leaned forward slightly and held the edge of the table, his head turned towards the door. He waited for it to close before turning back to Shepard. She was facing him; her arms crossed over her chest. "I'm coming with you."
"No, you're not," Shepard argued and Kaidan sighed roughly. Pushing off the table, his hands buried in his hair, tugging in frustration. "It's not that I don't want you there. It's not that I want to go alone. I have to. It was part of the agreement with Aria, and you heard Hackett, it was worth it. It was necessary, and now I have to go do my part."
He turned dropped his arms to his sides, his hands fisted in anger. He knew their hands were tied. "When are you leaving?" His voice was low. He was scared. He didn't trust Aria, not in the least, and while Aria's mercs were helping, if something happened to Shepard, all hope would be lost. Then where would they be?
"She's sending a shuttle for me in a few hours," she paused and checked her tool for the time. "Two, to be exact." He sighed and walked around the table to her. His hands ran gently up and down her arms and she tilted her head back to look into his face. "I wish there was more time before I left. So much was said last night." Her eyes dropped and he reached out and placed a finger under her chin, lifting her head up again. He saw the uncertainty in her eyes, and it twisted his gut.
"We're okay, Sloan, we'll be okay," he promised, and she closed her eyes and nodded. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, his arms moving to wrap around her waist. Her hands slid up his chest and over his shoulders. He pulled her into him and held on. He felt her sigh. Her lips were warm when they pressed against his neck, softly. He shuddered. She pulled away just enough to see his eyes. He dropped his head and pressed his lips to hers.
Instantly, she was kissing him back. Her hands fisted in his shirt and her body pressed into his. One hand slid up her back, and the other down to her rear. She whimpered into his kiss. Their lips moved together as their tongues tangled. Desperate to be closer, to try to heal the bruises their admissions the night before had left. He turned slightly, his hips pressing into hers as she was pinned between him and the table.
Before he could set her on the table, before he could move his fingers to the buttons of her top, she pulled her lips from his and pressed her hands against his chest. He licked his lips, his eyes closed as he caught his breath. "Sorry," he rasped, "got a little carried away." She let a chuckle slip from her lips as he stepped back slightly. She reached up and traced his face, her fingers danced over his cheeks and lips.
"Me too," she admitted, clearing her throat before promising. "I'll be back soon, and we'll make time."
That was three days ago.
It took a little convincing, but Joker and Vega managed to get him to agree to a game of poker in the Lounge. He figured it would give him something else to think about, to focus on, not to mention the drinks they'd share. He had to admit, the idea was enticing. That was how he found himself four beers in, holding two pairs, and surrounded by crew – no – friends.
"Fold," Cortez uttered weakly, dropping his cards face down and leaning back with his beer. Kaidan's eyes darted to Garrus. The Turian's mandibles twitched quickly, seconds before he, too, folded. Donnelly was next, the engineer quickly bet, his white knuckled grip on his beer hinting at his unease with his decision. Joker tossed in his chips without a second thought. Kaidan's eyes flicked to James, who met his stare.
Kaidan added his chips to the pile, and James's face was stone still as he looked down to his cards. He looked back up to Kaidan and the Lieutenant made him a little nervous. He didn't have high cards, but he was sure his two pair were better than what James had, at least he hoped so.
James bet and Traynor dealt, lying the River card face up on the table. The card solidified Kaidan's full house, and he made sure not to react as Donnelly folded. Joker folded. Kaidan's eyes met James's again. He glanced at his chips, then his hand, then back up at James before betting. The Lieutenant's eyes narrowed, trying to determine whether or not Kaidan was bluffing. James called, and Kaidan swallowed hard.
They laid their cards down, and Kaidan grinned when his full house beat James's three of a kind. He pulled the chips towards him. "Tell me again why you wanted to play?" Kaidan asked as he eyed James's short stack of chips.
The marine snorted, as Traynor collected the cards. Kaidan enjoyed the moment as the group taunted and teased each other. It was light, if brief. The door to the room opened and Liara breezed in. Kaidan couldn't help but notice Vega's eyes dart to the asari, and follow her, as she moved through the room. Interesting. She planted herself near Javik. Kaidan hadn't realized the Prothean had entered the room.
James caught Kaidan watching him, and before Kaidan could say anything the Lieutenant turned to Joker, "Hey, man, where's EDI?" Kaidan lifted his bottle to his lips as Joker glanced at him.
"She's on the Bridge; someone has to pilot my baby," Joker answered, picking up the cards as Traynor dealt them.
"Yeah, but she doesn't have to be on the Bridge to pilot the ship. She is the Normandy, after all," Donnelly's bright Scottish accent added, and Joker shifted, his eyes moving nervously to Kaidan.
"She felt that some … people ... might be uncomfortable if she were here," Joker explained, and Kaidan let that sink in for a moment as he lifted his cards. It was clear by Joker's sideways glance that he was referring to him. He hadn't seen much of EDI since he'd been back on the ship. She was always absent from the Bridge. The SR-2 was a big ship, but it was still a ship. At some point, you're going to run into everyone on board. There are only so many places one can go.
"EDI?" Kaidan called out into the room; his eyes flicking to the camera near the ceiling, knowing she could see them.
"Yes, Major?" Her disembodied voice filled the room, sounding equally amused and embarrassed. It was a tone Kaidan didn't think was possible, but she managed it.
"Is this why you're never on the Bridge when I stop up?"
"Yes." Her admission was simple, and she was free with it. She didn't try to beat around the bush and hide. She was caught, and she admitted it. "I know the reaction you had the first time you saw this platform, and I didn't want to cause any undue stress."
"Well, EDI, are you going to try to kill me?" he asked, as he looked at the cards in his hand.
"A direct attack on you would be inefficient. If I wanted you dead, I would simply vent the room you were in," EDI responded, the lightness of her tone was gone and he couldn't stop the chill that traced his spine as he turned towards Joker. The room was silent as the pilot stared at the camera near the ceiling. He scolded her by speaking her name, his voice laced with disapproval. "That … was a joke."
The table chuckled, and a warmth spread through Kaidan. It helped numb the anxiety as his mind drifted to Sloan. He knew she would have enjoyed this. He sighed, "Hey, EDI?"
"Yes, Major?"
"Call me Kaidan," he insisted as he placed his bet. She agreed, and he thought he heard a smile in her voice. "And stop hiding."
"Yes, Kaidan. Logging you out," her words sounded slightly embarrassed, and Kaidan smiled as he looked at the crap cards in his hands. He checked the time. It was later than he expected. He lifted his beer to his lips and drained the bottle as the chatter continued around him.
"Garrus," he leaned over and met the Turian's gaze. Garrus nodded to acknowledge he'd heard him. "Have you heard back from Tali?" At the mention of the young Quarian, Garrus' mandibles twitched and Joker grinned. Kaidan had the distinct feeling that he was missing something.
"Not yet," he answered stiffly, and Kaidan caught a hint of worry in the undertones of his voice.
"I'm sure she's fine, Garrus," Liara spoke up as she sauntered over to their table as Javik left the room. Kaidan's eyes darted to James, trying to confirm his suspicions. The Asari stood between James and Cortez, her hand resting on the back of James' chair. Kaidan thought he noticed the young man sit just a little straighter. He bit back his smile. He'd have to run his suspicion by Shepard when she got back. "There has not been much news from the Far Rim, but that does not necessarily mean there is Reaper involvement," Liara added as she met Garrus' concerned stare. "I have sources who have reason to believe they may be looking to retake Rannoch, but nothing has been confirmed."
"That sounds like a great plan! The Reaper invasion wasn't enough for the Quarians? They decided they wanted another war?" Joker shook his head, his distaste at their desire to reclaim what was lost, while untimely, was not lost on Kaidan. Images flashed before his mind's eye. Images of Vancouver falling beneath the Reapers.
"They are just rumors right now," Liara reminded the pilot, as she shifted, crossing her arms over her chest and cocking her hip. Kaidan couldn't help but think she looked a bit like Shepard at that moment. The confidence in her stance radiated from her. The pilot snorted and tossed his chips into the pot. "Garrus, I am sure she will be just fine."
"Yeah. This is the longest she's gone without getting back to me," Garrus offered that piece of information, and Kaidan chose to remain silent, again. He hadn't known anything had developed between Garrus and Tali, but he wouldn't be surprised by it. Clearly, he had missed a lot more than he had realized. The play continued around the table, with each player placing their bets. Kaidan focused on his cards, and the tells he had picked up from the crew. Liara and Traynor spoke quietly.
"So, Major," James started, and Kaidan's eyes lifted to his. "You and the Commander, huh?"
"What about Shepard and me?" Kaidan asked, unsure why he felt the need to be so defensive. Shepard and he had been discreet, and they had the security of also being Spectres. There were no fraternization rules among Spectres. He also knew the Alliance had more to worry about than Shepard and his relationship.
"She seems happy," Cortez interjected, folding and leaning back in his chair to watch the hand play out.
"I bet she is," Traynor added. "Getting laid regularly will have that effect on a woman." All eyes turned to her. She looked up from the cards she'd laid out and her cheeks instantly reddened at the collected gaze. Kaidan couldn't believe she'd been so blunt. After a few seconds, James roared with laughter, and Traynor seemed grateful for the broken moment, though she avoided Kaidan's eyes as he finished his drink. "Sorry, Major. That was uncalled for." He simply shook his head, still smiling, and placed his bet. His eyes met James's, and he waited for him to say something.
"I don't know about that," James said, "Shepard is definitely in a better mood than when she was in Vancouver, but that could just be the thrill of the fight. It's probably got nothing to do with Alenko." Kaidan didn't miss him drop the formality. He was goading him. He wanted him to react. He was distracting him. He probably had nothing in his hand, and his pot was low. Kaidan decided to go with it, to beat him at his own game.
"Sex is as important as eating or drinking, Vega," Kaidan offered as the play moved around the table. Each player folding, and leaning back to watch the interaction between Kaidan and James. James raised an eyebrow, waiting for him to finish his thought. His eyes flicked to Traynor before he continued, "It holds the universe together. I make sure Shepard never goes to sleep hungry, or horny." Kaidan raised the bet.
James looked to his cards, and the dealer's cards, and called the bet. "I don't know Viejo, can you keep up with her? She's all young, rebuilt, and strong. You might break a hip," Kaidan ignored the laughter behind him as Joker snorted, joining Garrus and Donnelly's chuckling. Cortez tried to reign in his friend, but James was having none of it. Kaidan looked to his hand. He had a straight. The odds of James having a stronger hand were slim. He was desperate not to go out.
James went all in, pushing the last of his chips into the pot.
"Know what comes with age, Vega?" Kaidan asked, and James cocked an eyebrow in response. "Stamina." Kaidan pushed his chips into the pot calling Vega. He could see Vega swallow when Kaidan called his bluff.
James laughed, and it was forced. He was trying to keep up his charade. Kaidan had the feeling he knew he was beat. "I'd be worried, Viejo. Shepard is a gorgeous woman, sexy as hell, and there's a lot of young, strapping marines here, on the ship, on the Citadel, ready to take your place should your ticker give—"
"But would this marine go down on me in the elevator until I'm biting my tongue to stop myself from screaming?" Kaidan spun in his chair at the sound of her voice. The table erupted into laughter, loud riotous laughter at the look on James's face. Kaidan's heart raced as his eyes landed on her. She was leaning against the doorway, watching them, her arms crossed over her chest and a smile on her lips. The sight of her, and the sound of her voice, warmed him like birds chirping after a long, cold winter. He couldn't stop grinning. She simply held her hand out to him.
"Fold," he said as he stood and crossed the room, taking her hand. James called for him to come back and finish the hand, but Kaidan wouldn't; he won when her hand slid into his. Shepard called good night to their friends as she waved with her free hand. James shouted something about it being a public elevator; Kaidan barely heard any of it. "You're back," he whispered it, so happy to see her alive and in one piece, as she led him towards the elevator. He noticed a bit of a limp, but when she turned and smiled at him and his worry melted away.
"You were winning?" She asked gesturing behind them as she pressed the call button for their quarters. Kaidan shrugged, his eyes locked on her, drinking her in. She blushed under his stare. "Kaidan," she whispered his name, and dropped her face from his.
"I worried," he offered, and she looked up again. He linked their fingers and the door opened beside them. He walked backwards pulling her with him. He didn't stop pulling as the elevator doors closed. He wrapped her arm around him before securing her against his chest and searching out her lips with his. They met in a kiss. It was instantly hungry, intense, and filled with everything they had experienced; the anxiety, fear, desperation, and loneliness of the last few days. He felt the smooth fabric of her underarmor beneath his hands as they roamed over her waist and back. He turned and pressed her into the wall.
She broke their kiss with a hiss, and a hand against his chest as the other went to her abdomen. Worry cooled the fire raging in his veins as his eyes moved from her face to her hand on her belly. Her eyes flooded with tears, and she trembled slightly, "It's fine." She insisted, but Kaidan wasn't having it. He took a moment, to really see her. She was exhausted. Dark circles made themselves at home beneath her eyes. Her lip was split and her jaw was bruised. He took her hand when the doors opened and led her into the bathroom, saying nothing. She followed, her uncertainty clear in the dragging of her feet. She whispered his name as he turned on the shower.
He turned to her, leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. He pulled back and reached behind her head to remove the pins from her hair. The chocolate locks fell down her back, matted with dirt, sweat, and blood. He turned her around, and unzipped the under armor. He watched as the fabric pulled away from her skin. He tried not react to the various bruises, scrapes, and cuts that decorated her skin. She'd clearly been through something rough. He knew she'd tell him later; right now, it didn't matter.
He turned her around. She was fully nude before him, but there was no hormonal reaction. He was in medic mode, strictly professional; well, almost. His hands caressed her arms, gooseflesh rose in its wake. He found the spot that had caused her to wince in the elevator. A grotesque bruise on her abdomen, just above her hip. It was various shades of red and purple, and Kaidan could tell it was new. It would be many different colors before it was fully healed. He sighed and met her eyes. She was chewing her broken lip. He reached up and cupped her chin, pulling her lip from between her teeth. With his eyes on hers, he slipped one hand behind her head. With quick, practiced movements he removed her amp, and closed the port. He stored the amp in its case before turning back to her.
He ushered her into the shower, and watched as she stepped under the water. She seemed to melt. She remained standing, but he almost worried she'd fall asleep standing in the shower. She was clearly drained; there was nothing left. He stripped quickly, and efficiently, before joining her. She jumped, startled, when his hands touched her hips. She turned her head towards him and met his eyes. He reached next to her for her shampoo. He was methodical taking no extra time to touch or caress or ease his want. His biggest desire at this moment was to get her into bed so she could sleep as quickly as possible. She needed rest to heal. A soft moan slipped from her lips as his fingers moved against her scalp. He turned her, and let the water rinse the shampoo from her hair.
He moved to her body, sudsing her sponge before starting to slowly massage away the grit and grime from Omega. Her body trembled, but Kaidan knew it wasn't from pleasure. His hands moved over her scrapes and bruises and he clenched his jaw. If T'Loak was before him now, he'd kill her for whatever she'd put Shepard through the last few days. He finished washing her and stepped under the stream, ignoring her eyes as they moved over him, watching him clean himself.
Her eyes were drooping. He felt the concern twist in his core. He stepped out of the shower and took her hand. He wrapped her in a towel, and felt her sigh as she leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his chest. He wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. He made quick work of drying them. He wrapped the towel around her, and one around his waist, before guiding her to sit at her desk. He brushed her hair out quickly. Her eyes closed, and her breathing even. When he finished, he left her sitting there and pulled back the blankets before walking over to her, and grabbing boxers and a shirt. He slid the shorts on before walking to her. He took her hand in his and she stood. He slid the shirt over her head, and she pushed her arms through the sleeves. It was his shirt, and it hung below her hips. She looked so small. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead before guiding her to bed.
They climbed in together, and instantly she rolled to him. Her head pillowed on his chest. His hand running through her damp hair as her breathing deepened. He felt his fear, his worry, his anxiety slip away every time his hand passed over her head, with every breath she took. He smiled and kissed her forehead as she rested.
"Oh, I almost forgot to tell you," She whispered, sleep lacing her voice. He hummed his response as sleep tugged at him. "Aria kissed me." He spluttered and she turned her face to his chest. Her lips resting against his skin. "Yep, right on the mouth."
"What? Why?" He asked, he was only curious really, he knew Sloan wouldn't have provoked it.
"To thank me," she explained through a yawn. He made a noise of understanding. "She's a great kisser," Kaidan froze at her words as her head rested back on his chest. "She does this thing with her tongue…"
"Why are you telling me this?" he asked, his gut twisting uncomfortably.
"You were the one talking to your boys about our sex life," she replied through a smile. Kaidan chuckled, and leaned down to kiss her proper. His tongue sweeping through her mouth and she moaned against him. Her body pressing against his instinctively. Her leg lifted and wrapped around his hip. He wanted her, but not like this, not half asleep and sore. It had been too long for that. He broke the kiss and she whimpered softly. He chuckled from deep in his chest. "Okay, you're better." She sighed as their bodies twisted together and sleep claimed them.