Author's Note: Wow. Eighty chapters. I certainly never thought this would be this massive when I started writign it. I'm not sure what I expected. Though, I will say that if it wasn't for you - reading along, those who have added this to their favorite or follow lists, and especially those who took the time to leave a review ... your support means more than I can say. Thank you, especially Kirabaros, walkerkali, bayanbasri, Jules Hawk, biotictrash, Impslave, tbiris, Vorcha Girl, Simone The Reaper Hunter, Zacharti, Nefaria Darksoul, and Kirsah. If I didn't get a chance to reply, I'm sorry - don't think your reviews didn't mean the world to me. Thank you!

With no more from me ... Enjoy! - TLC

Chapter Eighty

Kaidan left Dr. O'Connor's office with his glasses tucked into a pocket. He'd hold on to them, just because. The L2 specialist had rivaled Chakwas's disappointment and anger, and Kaidan wasn't surprised. He was exactly as ashamed and apologetic as he should be. He took the scolding silently, knowing he would be okay made it easier. Once his optic implant was replaced, and Kaidan was cleared again for active duty, Dr. O'Connor dismissed him. He sent Shepard a quick message, to let her know he was headed to Anderson's apartment after his appointment. He assumed she was still in with Tevos.

His attention was captured by a large, noisy crowd. He recognized some reporters huddled around the something that had caught their interest. If he hadn't known Shepard was in the meeting, he would have been concerned. Still, he checked and was surprised to see Javik at the center of the commotion. He could feel the odd biotic energy from the ancient alien as wisps of green danced over his form. The reporters, used to the typical blues, were unaware how close the Prothean was to lashing out. Kaidan took a deep breath and made his way over to the scene of the commotion. "Excuse me!" He pushed his way through the reporters to stand at Javik's side.

He shrugged off the annoyance he felt coming from the alien as he turned his attention to the reporters. He ordered them away – Spectre authority – and guided the Prothean to a secluded area in the Presidium. "I have to admit, I am surprised by your species, Major."

''Oh yeah, why is that?" Kaidan asked, glancing at Javik from the corner of his eye as they walked towards a bench. Kaidan could feel the alien's yellow eyes burning into him as he sat; Javik took the seat next to him.

Javik was silent for a long time, and when he spoke he didn't answer Kaidan's question. "Your mate is rare among your kind."

He was no longer affected when Shepard was referred to as his mate instead of his girlfriend. He nearly chuckled at the word - girlfriend. It seemed so juvenile, so insufficient for what they were. Perhaps mate was more appropriate, or partner. He swallowed hard as another word flitted through his mind: wife. He shook that thought from his head. This was hardly the time for that. Yet, now that the word had danced through his mind, he had a feeling it would stay there.

"Yes, she is," Kaidan answered, and when Javik's eyes turned to him again Kaidan knew he was taking his words with a grain of salt. Of course Kaidan would think she was special, he loved her. "She's a hell of a soldier, a brilliant Commander, a natural born leader-"

"She is headstrong, stubborn, and foolish," Javik interrupted him and Kaidan's words stuck in his throat. He let the rest of his breath out on a sigh and Javik said nothing, staring over the Presidium. Kaidan opened his mouth to speak, to argue or defend her more than once, but he closed his mouth before he started. "She is also fighting an unwinnable war, and she knows she cannot win, but she fights regardless." Kaidan chose to keep quiet, to let him finish his thoughts. "She wages this war, that she will not win, but she makes other people believe she can, and that she will. She is … impressive." Kaidan nodded, warmth blooming in his chest as he listened to the ancient warrior's words. "You are lucky she has chosen you," Javik offered as he stood.

"Yes, I am," Kaidan answered as his eyes followed the Prothean. Javik nodded and turned to leave. He was heading towards the Normandy and Kaidan said nothing, he watched him walk away. Kaidan leaned back on the bench heaving a sigh into the relative silence of the area. His omni'tool beeped, and the incoming message told him Shepard had finished with Tevos and was headed to Anderson's apartment. He pushed himself to his feet and made his way towards their space.

It didn't take him long to arrive, the elevator to their floor being the longest part of the trip. The lock on the door turned green when he waved his 'tool over the panel and he stepped over the threshold and into the silent apartment. It was warm, the fire lit, and regardless of its size, it felt lived in. "Sloan?" He didn't see, or hear, her when he entered.

"Over here."

He followed her trembling voice to the hallway between her bedroom and the kitchen. He found her standing before a wall of photos. Her arms were wrapped around herself as if she was holding herself together. Tears left streaks down her cheeks and dripped from her chin to her shirt. Concern washed over him as his eyes searched her, instinctually, for injuries. He glanced at the wall she was looking at as he stepped closer to her. Kaidan felt his heart drop as he stepped up behind her. She was standing before a group of pictures of Anderson, Kahlee, and herself. They were family photos, and the trio were happy in them.

Kaidan sighed her name and slid his hands over her hips, wrapping his arms around her waist. She closed her eyes and leaned back into his chest as her hands covered his. Her head dropped back to rest on his shoulder as he held her. He pressed his lips to her neck and sighed, wishing there was something more he could do to comfort her. This was all he could do. She reached out and let her fingers trace one of the frames, she sniffed and dropped her hand to his again. Their fingers linked and she spoke quietly. "Remember when we met Talitha?"

"The Mindoir survivor?" Kaidan asked as he searched his memory.

"Yeah, that night was the end of a very rough week for me." Her words were quiet, and heavy, but nothing Kaidan didn't already know. Looking back on their relationship, that week was when she first let him in. It was after meeting Talitha that she told him about her past. She pulled out of his embrace and took his hand. She led him towards the couch and sat. When he joined her, she curled against him, resting her head on his chest. "I came here, that night. David and Kahlee were on their way out for the evening when I got here. They hadn't expected me and I just showed up. I tried to tell them to go anyway, but they refused – insisting they stay home with me and that their friends would understand. I was grateful, but felt terrible."

Kaidan ran his hand through her hair as she spoke. Her fingers toyed with the buttons on his top and he pressed a kiss to the top of her head as she continued. "David hugged me, and I … broke. I cried, I don't know, it felt like hours. He just held me and let me cry. When I finally stopped, he made me shower and change and we sat here, on the couch by the fire, sipping hot chocolate while Kahlee kept busy in other parts of the house. I told him everything, and he reassured me about Michael, and…. Anyway, later that night, I couldn't sleep. I wandered down to the kitchen and Kahlee was here. She was having an ice cream sundae, and she offered me one."

Sloan sniffled again, and Kaidan held her a bit tighter. "We sat in silence for a while. I could feel her looking at me, so I looked at her. She had her eyebrow raised and this knowing smirk on her face. She said, 'So, who is he?' I argued, 'He who? There's no one, of course. I'm on duty!' but she knew. She said nothing until I confessed."

"What did you confess?" He asked, his voice a low rumble, and she giggled softly, turning her face into his shirt.

"That there was this gorgeous Lieutenant who kept flirting with me and I couldn't keep my eyes off of him." She pulled back and met his gaze. Her hand reached up and her fingers danced along his jaw before moving up and toying with the grey hair at his temples.

"I barely flirted with you," He grinned through his argument before turning his head and kissing her palm.

She smiled. "That's because you were gun-shy," she reminded him and he laughed. "I may or may not have gushed like a school girl for a while and Kahlee just grinned as she listened to me." She paused, sighing and her hand traced down his neck to the collar of his shirt. Her fingers tracing what she could find of his collar bone. Gooseflesh rose on his skin down his arms and back at her tender caress. "I always came back to the regs, though. Every time. I wanted … you, but I knew I couldn't risk your career or mine. I told her all that, and she reached out and took my hand. She reminded me that she met David when they were both Alliance, and that she wasn't going to lecture me about regulations. She told me to remember that I wasn't going to be in the Alliance forever, and that I needed to be sure I didn't alienate myself from the people who came into my life. She told me it was okay to let people in, it was okay to trust people."

"The next day you told me … everything," Kaidan spoke quietly, and Shepard nodded.

"I realized she was right. I already trusted you, but I needed to let you know, or I would miss out," she shrugged as she spoke and he felt it in his chest, and it was too much. He was dizzy, drunk on her words, on her confession of how long she'd had feelings for him. He leaned down and kissed her. So many things had to fall into place to bring them together, to bring her back to life, to keep him on the Normandy, to bring them to this place. Still, he wanted more. He wanted forever. He wanted the Reapers to rot in hell. He wanted to win. To marry her. He wanted her to mother his children. He cupped her face and she shifted, climbing into his lap, straddling him. A soft gasp slipping from her lips as she returned his kiss.

His hands slid up her shirt, dragging it with his grazing touch. She pulled back, breaking the kiss, as he pulled the shirt over her head. Her eyes and hands fell to his shirt as she undid the buttons. His hands continued to caress her bare skin as she helped him out of his clothes. The light from the fire danced over her skin, and the shadows created around her made her look like some kind of fire goddess. He gasped as she leaned forward and trailed her tongue along his pulse point. He stood, and she squealed as she wrapped her arms and legs around him.

He carried her to the bedroom; he set her next to the bed. Hands roamed and clothing was removed before she fell back. He crawled over her, his mouth leaving a trail over her skin and he listened for the tell tale sounds of her pleasure. His name was a broken prayer on her lips and he groaned at the sound of it. There was something about the relaxed atmosphere, being station side and not on the ship, they took their time.

When he finally slipped inside her, her legs around his waist and their hands threaded together, he nearly called out at the sensations. Their bodies moved to a primal rhythm, each seeking their release. She found hers first, but only seconds before he did. He called out, dropping his head to her neck and releasing her hands. She ran her hands through his hair, pressing kisses to his head. He moved slightly, resting against her chest and listening to her heartbeat. In this moment, there was no place else he wanted to be.

Their hearts calmed, and their breathing settled. He heaved an exaggerated disappointed sigh, and she giggled, as he rolled off her, pulling her to him. She rested her head on his shoulder, her hand on his chest, toying with the dark hair there. He held her close, and enjoyed the quiet. The steady sounds of her breathing, the gentle caress of her fingers, the way her leg lifted and threaded through his. He sighed, turning and pressing his lips to the top of her head. She turned her face towards his and smiled. His breath caught in his throat, "You're so beautiful."

She snorted and rolled her eyes; he laughed softly. She never did take compliments well. She rolled to her back and stretched. Kaidan shifted to his side, propping himself up on an elbow and watching her. Her naked body moved sensually against the soft sheets and he swallowed hard as he felt himself reacting to her again. Her omni'tool sounded and she dropped out of her stretch and groaned as she opened the message. The orange light of the tool playing over her features as she read the message. "Fuck."

"What?" His heart raced with the fear that their evening of liberty was being cut short.

She looked at him, a sheepish grin spreading on her lips. "Well, I kind of told Vega and Cortez we'd meet them at Purgatory for drinks tonight." He groaned and reached out, wrapping his arm around her waist and pulling her to him. "But I kind of want to just stay right here and make love to you all night long." She admitted, brushing her nose against his before pressing her lips to his. Her arms wound around his waist as he rolled her onto her back, his weight resting on his elbows.

Their tongues tangled and her leg lifted over his hip. His hands moved to her face and he broke the kiss, his fingers dancing over her cheeks, brushing her hair back. "Well, I vote we stay right here." He pressed his hips against her and she gasped softly, lifting her head and kissing him again. He angled his head and kissed her deeper, coaxing soft moans from the back of her throat. Her fingers tangled in his hair before sliding down to his back, nails digging into his flesh.

He broke the kiss, moving his lips to her jaw and down her neck. She dug her head back into the pillows as her back arched and her body pressed to his. "What kind of leader would I be if I broke this promise to them?" He growled at her words, and bit her neck gently. "Ah!" She pushed at his chest and broke into a fit of giggles. "Come on, we'll go for an hour and then come back here and pick up where we left off." He fell onto his back with an exaggerated sigh and she laughed again. She pulled herself from bed and he watched her, hips swaying, as she walked towards the bathroom. After a moment, he grinned as he threw back the covers and quickly followed after her.

The bathroom was full of steam, hot and humid, and thick with the smell of her body wash; the smell of Shepard. He went to the shower, and opened the door. More steam flooded out and she turned and looked at him over her shoulder. A grin pulling at her lips. His eyes followed the water as is trailed down her naked body. She was perfection. He stepped up behind her, and moved the wet hair off her back and over her shoulder. He placed a row of kisses from her shoulder, up her neck, to her ear. "I figured we could save time," he whispered, and she chuckled softly. Her giggle turned to a moan as his hands moved to her hips and thighs.

She grinned, pulling away from his kiss, and pushed him under the water. "Later. We really have to hurry," She said, breathlessly. He chuckled and kissed her once more, briefly, before they turned their attention to their shower.

It wasn't much later they were strolling along the Sunset Strip headed towards the transit station. Purgatory was in another ward, and would take them a while to get there. The transit car pulled up and Kaidan helped her step inside. She'd dressed casually, jeans tucked into combat boots and a snug thin strapped top that displayed her strong shoulders and arms, ample chest, and slim waist perfectly. She curled into him in the back seat of the cab and he wrapped his arm around her. Her fingers grazed the skin exposed above the buttons on his top and he covered her hand with his to stop her. "What did Tevos have to say?"

She groaned and pulled back to sit next to him in stead of leaning on him. He regretted bringing up work instantly. "That I'm the sole ray of hope in a very dark night." She heaved a deep sigh and scrubbed a hand over her face. "She said the situation is dire on Thessia. She said there is an artifact there that might be able to help with the Crucible. She said I should go there and retrieve the artifact, and help the Asari while I'm there."

"So, she waited to tell you about the artifact so she could use it to get you to help her people?" Kaidan asked, and the look in Shepard's eye told him he'd given voice to her own thoughts. Kaidan shook his head.

"She wanted me to leave now, but I told her there was no way I could cancel our liberty. Not just because I wanted alone time with you," she paused, grinning, and he took her hand to kiss her knuckles, "but because the crew needs it." Kaidan nodded.

"What difference would a few hours make, really?" Shepard shrugged to answer his question. "So, Thessia's the next destination?" She answered with a nod as the car pulled up at Purgatory. He helped her out of the car, his hands moving to her waist as she stood in front of him.

"But for now, we make our appearance so we can get home," she reminded him as she stood on her toes and pressed a kiss to his lips. He smiled against her mouth, one of his hands coming up to cup the back of her head. She gasped when his fingers teased her amp port, and he chuckled softly pulling away and taking her hand. She let him lead her to the door and inside.

Kaidan was glad she'd only committed to an hour here. The lights and pounding bass were almost too much for him. She turned and met his eyes, recognition flashing on her face before she leaned in and promised they'd only be here an hour. He gave her a smile and offered to get them drinks as she spotted Vega at the lower level. She nodded, kissing his cheek, as he released her and they went their separate ways.

When he got to the bar, he took a quick shot of something close to whiskey before ordering the Citadel's version of beer and taking it back to Shepard. He found her laughing with the duo at a table. Her smile was wide and her eyes were bright and, if it was possible, he fell in love with her all over again. He set her drink down in front of her as he eased into the space beside her, inquiring what was funny. Vega and Cortez eyed the two of them and their easy affection. They weren't often open with their relationship in front of the crew, professionalism and all, but they were on liberty, and Kaidan would be damned to let an opportunity to feel her close slip away.

"Vega just asked if I danced," Shepard replied, her eyes on Kaidan's and a smirk on her lips as she took a long pull from her bottle. Her eyes were sparkling in the vibrant lights of the club, and her hair was down, curling to frame her face. He grinned at her.

"What do you say, Viejo, let me take your girl for a spin," Vega asked, his eyes traveling over the club. It was almost like he was looking for something – someone. Kaidan followed his eyes, and when they settled back on Vega, he glanced down to Shepard. Her eyebrow was up and her lip quirked, as if she couldn't believe Vega had asked Kaidan for his permission to dance with her, before he'd even asked her.

"It's her call," Kaidan answered, and her eyes brightened as she turned them back to Vega.

"Come on, Lola, let me show you the benefits of youth!" Vega pleaded as he held a hand out for her. Kaidan snorted as Shepard laughed. She stood and slid her hand in his. Kaidan watched, his eyes never leaving her as Vega pulled her into his chest, his hands dipped a little lower than needed, but Kaidan was sure he was doing it to gauge his reaction. Kaidan said nothing, just smiled as he watched Shepard move against the younger man.

"You two are really great together," Cortez spoke up, catching Kaidan's attention, but he couldn't tear his eyes off of Shepard. He watched as Vega's hands caressed her sides, her hips, and back as their bodies moved together. Shepard turned, her back to Vega's chest, and her eyes met Kaidan's across the space. She grinned and bit her lip. He watched as Vega's attention was pulled towards the door.

"What makes you say that?" Kaidan asked, turning his attention, briefly, to the pilot.

"You remind me of Robert and me. You complement each other. It works, and I can see how happy you both are. It reminds me that there is something worth fighting for. I don't know the history, but I know things were tense after Mars. Whatever happened, I'm glad you were able to work things out," Cortez answered, and Kaidan was surprised by his words.

"Thanks Cortez. You know, Robert would want you to be happy. He would want you to find something to fight for," Kaidan promised him, and Cortez nodded.

"I know," he answered, sipping his beer and Kaidan let the topic drop. Kaidan knew how uncomfortable it was to be forced into something you weren't ready for by well meaning friends. He turned his attention back to Vega who was now leading Shepard in an intricate salsa dance. Kaidan watched as Shepard's hips moved to the beat as her feet followed Vega's lead, easily keeping up with the man's natural ability.

He watched as Vega's hands trailed over her body, and he felt only slight pangs of jealousy. Mostly because as Vega touched, Kaidan remembered - the feel of her bare skin, the shift of the muscles beneath, the way she sounded, tasted. It hadn't been that long since she was beneath him, around him, clinging to him as she rode out her pleasure. He should have been more jealous, but the fresh memories, with the look in her eye when they met his over Vega's shoulder, and the promise of the rest of the night stemmed any violent emotions. He simply smirked and, keeping his eyes locked with hers, took another long drink from his beer.

The song came to an end, and Vega released Shepard who instantly pulled him in for a friendly hug. Cortez called out to the pair and they continued to laugh as they made their way back over. Shepard bumped Kaidan lightly as she reached the table, taking a healthy swallow of her beer. Her cheeks were flushed from her dancing, and her eyes were bright. She was having fun; Kaidan was glad they had come.

"Alright, Lola, next time you need to be worked, you know where to find me," Vega promised, flexing unnecessarily as he reached for his own drink. Kaidan chuckled spotting Liara over Vega's shoulder. His mind flicked back to their poker game, and how Vega's attention had been taken by the asari.

As she reached the table, Vega flushed, and Kaidan's suspicions were confirmed as Cortez greeted the Shadow Broker, and Vega clammed up. Kaidan grinned and took Shepard's hand in his. "Alright, Son, let me show you the benefits of age." His eyes flicked from Vega to Liara and back. Shepard smothered a laugh with her hand as Vega's cheeks flushed and Kaidan led her to the dance floor.

"What was that about?" Liara's soft voice carried surprisingly well; though, it was drowned out by Cortez's laugh.

Kaidan pulled Shepard close when they reached the dance floor. Her breath caught as he pulled her to him. His arm around her, holding her close and his hand on her hip. He took her hand with his free one as her other grazed up his arm and across his shoulders. He pressed his forehead to hers and met her eyes with a smile, and a quick peck on the lips as they counted. When the next beat count started, he led her in an intricate dance. Their feet moving together perfectly, their hips connected and swaying to the slow beat of the music.

Kaidan lost track of everything around him. There was just the feel of her body against his, her breath on his neck, the way her hands gripped him. He thought he heard catcalling over the music, but none of it mattered. The entire Citadel could erupt in flames around them and he would happily burn if it meant she stayed right here with him.

A short while later, after a transit cab ride neither could recall, they found themselves tumbling back into bed. Once the door to the apartment was opened, hands wandered and a trail of clothing showed their path to her bedroom. The rest of the night was spent exactly as they had planned: tangled together with no thought for the war, the Normandy, or the morning. Not even the rising of the artificial sun could distract them.

The next day, the Normandy left the Citadel much later than planned.

Author's Note: If you're interested in knowing what happened between James and Liara at the club after Kaidan and Sloan left, check out the oneshot, The Way You Look At Me. As always, thank you! - TLC