Author's Note: I just ... I am so sorry that it took me this long to update this story. Please, please don't think I'm giving it up. I most certainly am not. Life just ... got in the way and chased away my muse. After my broken wrist healed, some family drama caused me to have to move unexpectedly. I am finally in a place I love and settled again. I can't express how good it feels to be writing again. If you're still with me, thank you for sticking around. If you're just joining, welcome and I hope to be on a better update schedule again. Just know, even if I got a while between updates, I won't stop until their story is finished. Vorcha Girl wouldn't let me.
To those who left a review on the last chapter: MizDirected, Kirabaros, biotictrash, Impslave, ela11, Jules Hawk, Kallie6891, Vorcha Girl, Aliemah, HeroInTraining, Strawhat Shepard, Kirsah, and the guest THANK YOU. Your support and kind words means ... it's what kept me going and inspired when everything else around me was falling apart. THANK YOU.
With no further delay ... Enjoy! - TLC
Chapter Eighty-Five
Three. James had been gone with the Normandy for three days. He was only supposed to be gone for forty-eight hours, and if there were any complications he'd been ordered to contact Kaidan. Kaidan heard nothing.
Two. The number of time Sloan's heart had stopped while James was gone. Something about blood clots in her implants shorting out systems. The alarms blared, startling Kaidan. His shock turned to near panic as the medical professionals rushed into the room and forced him out. He'd stood, helpless, outside her room waiting for them to allow her back in. It was two times too many.
One. One second. That's all he needed. If only her eyes would open for one second, he'd be able to breathe again. As it was, each moment spent by her bedside made it feel like her waking up was less likely. He was starting to wish he'd gone with the Normandy, if only for the distraction. However, he thought being in their cabin alone would be more painful than this.
The nurse broke the monotony of the morning, bringing him a breakfast tray and checking Shepard's vitals. She offered him a kind smile before leaving them alone again. Kaidan ate without tasting and opened his omni'tool to check his messages. He read them aloud; he did his thinking aloud, hoping she'd just start answering him.
What if the implants didn't work?
As he waiting for word from Vega he grew exponentially angrier. He should have made contact by now. It was as this thought crossed his mind that his omni'tool sounded. He opened the messaging program and felt relief deep in his gut when he saw the message was from Vega. The mission had not been the simple retrieval they had expected. Garneau was dead. The workers at the mining facility had been indoctrinated and had lost ten years of their lives. They had Ann Bryson, the doctor's daughter. Vega was on his way to Huerta with Garrus and Liara.
A sigh tore itself from his chest as he closed his tool. He scrubbed his hands over his face and leaned back in his chair. The door opened behind him and he sat straight without turning. He heard James's heels click together as he snapped to attention. The young man realized he'd broken rules; he was smart. He wasn't going to do anything that might make it worse until he knew how angry his CO was.
Liara moved soundlessly through the room to stand opposite Kaidan. He watched as she leaned over Shepard. Her gentle hands moving over Sloan's face in an easy caress. Garrus clicked, his undertones rumbling, and Kaidan knew their question. How was she? He didn't care about their questions right now. He waited, a pregnant silence filling the room broken only by Sloan's monitors. He spoke without turning. "Report."
James spoke quickly and efficiently. They'd reached Garneau's site and found it protected by Reapers. There were artifacts scattered through the building. The staff at the site spoke in fear, though it seemed as if they had no idea what they were afraid of. They continued to block their search by being uncooperative, and vaguely threatening. The found that whatever this Leviathan was, it had held the employees of the mining company in its thralls for a decade. Kaidan let out a low whistle.
"Where's Garneau?" he asked, and James exchanged a glance with Garrus before continuing.
"Dead. Not sure for how long." Kaidan's eyebrow cocked at the response. "In researching his files at the site and in Dr. Bryson's lab—"
"How'd you get access to the lab; you weren't here?" Kaidan asked, feeling the agitation churn in his gut. He should not be the last to know this. He should not have let them go.
"Bailey with C-Sec owed me a favor. He took a couple guys down and did the research for us," Garrus answered. "With the information they got us, we were able to pick up Ann Bryson without having to come back here. She was one system over." Kaidan just nodded.
"And it never crossed your mind to contact me, to keep me updated on the situation, and your progress?" James's feet shuffled in an uncharacteristic show of nerves. Kaidan waited. James had taken advantage of the situation – of Sloan's situation in order to play Captain.
He heard Liara start to speak, but James cut her off, speaking more forceful. "Sir, due respect, it was the smart thing to do. We saved two-day's worth of time by picking Ms. Bryson up before we returned to the Citadel. It's what Shepard would have done. It's what you would have done. It's what I did."
"I'm not arguing the merit of your actions, just your decision not to keep your CO informed. You may be up for N-School, Vega, but you're not an agent, yet. You're a strong soldier, an intelligent man, and a skilled leader, but you need to remember that even leaders have superiors and need to report in." James turned red at Kaidan's words. It was clear he knew Kaidan was right.
"Yes, Sir. I understand, Sir," James replied, his hands clasped behind his back.
"Why didn't you contact me?" Kaidan asked, wanting to hear James's reasoning.
James dropped his eyes to Kaidan's for a brief second, and Kaidan watched the smirk pull at his lips. "I figured it was easier to ask forgiveness than to ask permission." Kaidan sighed, feeling the fight leave him. Goddamn it if he didn't sound like Shepard. He shook his head turning to glance at the woman in bed and wondered what she would say.
"Alright, let's go talk to Ms. Bryson." Kaidan led them from the room, his mind turning over the bits of information he'd already learned from the team. Unbidden, a memory rose to the surface. His heart twinged even as his lips pulled in a smile. "Why is it whenever someone says 'with all due respect', they really mean 'kiss my ass'?" Ashley. He wondered what she would have thought of Vega. He seemed to be her type. He turned his attention back to Vega and Liara's discussion of the mission as they walked.
From what Kaidan had gathered from the reports and conversation with Vega, Garrus, and Liara, Dr. Bryson found evidence of a species that predated the Reapers, and these artifacts – like the one in Bryson's office and with Garneau – had the ability to indoctrinate. Yet, it was not the same as Reaper technology. Liara seemed to believe it was something that could help them, and Kaidan wanted to agree but the idea of adding another unknown made his gut churn.
"Kaidan," Liara's gentle voice broke through his thoughts and he hummed as he turned to look at her. She cleared her throat, making quick eye contact with Garrus over Kaidan's head. "How is she?" Her whisper was nearly inaudible. He sighed, shaking the echoes of her flat-line alarm from his mind. He took a long, slow breath. Concentrating on the slow expansion of his chest. His hands tingled at the slow rush of oxygen.
"She's the same," his voice was rough with lack of sleep, fear, and frustration. "We're waiting," his voice dripped with disdain and he reached up and rubbed the back of his neck. "She almost died twice… her heart stopped." James's steps faltered at Kaidan's admission and Kaidan's jaw clenched. He didn't understand why he was suddenly so angry. He knew they cared, and they had every reason to. It just felt intrusive. He didn't want to talk about her anymore. He didn't want to share his grief.
He felt the warmth of Liara's hand in his before he realized she was lacing their fingers. Sensory memory alone took him to Alchera. Standing with the asari and staring at the sky, knowing she was gone. This wasn't that, thankfully. She was still here. She would wake up. She had to.
They reached Bryson's lab before long and Ann met them at the door. Liara dropped his hand as the door opened. Ann's face was damp with fresh tears and her eyes still glistened. Kaidan remembered what they had told him about her father; she'd obviously been informed of his fate. So much death. It hung heavy around them and Kaidan's stomach churned as he tried to ignore it. She cleared her throat and James greeted her. She stepped aside, her eyes on the floor as they invaded her space.
Kaidan looked around the lab, starting slightly when a mounted husk head snapped at him. He shot a skeptical glance at Garrus who shrugged. "Ms. Bryson, please, take me through what we know about Leviathan." Kaidan asked as they spread out through the lab.
She took a deep breath, and when she met his eyes he had the sense she knew he was struggling as well. Her eyes were distant and her voice soft when she spoke again. "There isn't really a time I remember my father not searching for Leviathan. It's still hard for me to believe he's gone. I keep expecting him to walk through those doors." Her eyes shot to the entrance before dropping again. "It was this lifelong mission, this obsession. Family, Mom we took a backseat at times. He'd studied the orbs, and believed they were left here by an ancient alien race. He found the orbs scattered all over the galaxy. It was his belief, and we recently confirmed, that it was how the race – Leviathan – communicated. Kind of like their QEC."
Kaidan's eyes darted to the orb in the corner. He wondered if that is where the sensation that he was being watched had come from. He shrugged the thought away, and ignored the gooseflesh that rose on his back. "What is Leviathan?"
Ann looked to Kaidan, and shrugged, "We're still not 100% sure. Leviathan is an ancient alien race. Older than even the prothean," a sad smile tugged at her lips as she continued; "Dad believed they may have been older than the reapers. He thought, he hoped, that they would hold the key to ending the war but it seemed like they were always just out of reach, just around a corner."
Kaidan stared at the orb as Liara continued to speak with Ann about her father's research. Kaidan couldn't stop thinking about the possibility that her father was right. He couldn't stop thinking about the possibility that Leviathan could hold the key to ending the war; the key to saving the galaxy but more than that, the key to a life with Sloan, a life on the farm with animals and babies. "Could we use the orbs to locate them?" Kaidan asked the question, not even realizing he was interrupting Liara.
Ann stared at him, her mouth slack as she considered his request. She chewed her lip and followed his gaze to the orb. It pulsated, light flashing gently in the corner. "I don't know, I – we never attempted using the orbs. I'm not even sure how it would work," Ann admitted as she stood and went to a console. He followed her, standing over her shoulder and watching as her hands moved over the keys. "It's possible; if we link into it we may be able to communicate with it. Then, possibly, triangulate its position. Yeah, I just, I'm worried about the being able to handle the information. I think it might be too much for my systems to take."
Kaidan opened his 'tool and reached out to EDI. He filled her in quickly before connecting her to the Bryson's labs. "I know someone who can help with that." After introductions were made and the plan laid out, Ann sat next to the orb. Liara hooked her up to it. James stood near her, near the connection, ready to cut it if they needed to. EDI was ready to follow the signals. Kaidan waited, watching, hoping it would work.
James moved to stand next to Kaidan as they waited. "Sir, this thing… we don't know what it is. Are you sure letting Ann … connect with it is a good idea? It seems dangerous as hell."
Kaidan remained silent as they waited for her to prepare. "Noted. EDI, are we ready?" He heard James sigh as he stepped away from the Lt and towards the young scientist.
"Yes, Major, just waiting for activation," her pleasantly digital voice echoed in the room and Kaidan nodded moving to stand beside Ann. Liara and Garrus moved to the console to record and copy the interaction.
She looked up at him, and he could see the grief and the determination in her eyes. She nodded at Liara and she dropped the containment field from the artifact. It shimmered to life. The lovely greens and blues dancing over the orb and Ann's face. They waited as the energy pulsed. Seconds ticked by and Kaidan tried not to react to his impatience. "Anything yet?" Kaidan's question was answered by a clicking sound and he glanced at Garrus who glared at him before turning back to the console.
"No, I … wait, I feel ... cold and ... it's dark. I'm not sure, what…" Ann stalled, her eyes closing and her head dropping, chin to chest. James moved to stand behind her, his hands on her shoulders, keeping her in her seat. Kaidan waited his stomach in his throat as he anticipated what would happen next. He needed this to be something. It couldn't be a dead end. His hands clenched at his sides as he stared at the woman before him.
Ann gasped, seized, and started shaking. James cursed and gripped her arms as Kaidan stepped closer. EDI confirmed there was a connection and Kaidan waited to see if this Leviathan attempted to reach out to them through Ann. It did. It seemed as if the sound came from Ann and the orb at the same time. It reverberated off the walls and made Kaidan's amp tingle with energy. It threatened, demanding they leave it alone. It warned, the darkness cannot be breached. Kaidan scoffed. "We found you. You know that means the Reapers can find you. You're strong. You've lasted. You can help us end this war."
It spoke then, Ann's voice lost in the growling sounds of the ancient being. "There is no war. Only the harvest." James continued to struggle to hold on to Ann as her shaking grew more intense. Kaidan looked to Liara at the console.
EDI spoke, "We have a partial lock. Maintaining the connection will narrow the search." James reached out towards the containment field activation.
"Vega!" Kaidan bellowed and James froze. The subordinate in him responding to the authority in Kaidan's tone.
"You heard her! We have enough!" James still voicing his argument.
"The signal is fading! Maintain connection!" EDI insisted.
"Stand down, Vega!" Kaidan gave the final order, and fire fueled James' eyes as he dropped to a knee behind Ann and wrapped his arms around her torso, determined to keep her sitting in her chair. Kaidan waited as Leviathan continued to make threats.
"We need your help. If you won't help us willingly, we're going to come find you. It's up to you!" Kaidan responded to Leviathan, glaring at Ann. He felt oddly detached. He was so sick of being ignored. He was so over the war and constantly having to ask for help. What was it the galaxy's inhabitants? Here Leviathan was, having hidden for millennia, and they were still unwilling to help? Not anymore. Kaidan was going to force their hand.
Leviathan continued to drone on, just as Sovereign and Harbinger before it, about the cycle and the inevitability of demise. Kaidan nearly flared with rage. He crossed his arms over his chest and waited. He waited for EDI to confirm they had its location before he released Ann from its hold.
Ann's head snapped back and connected with James' face. Blood flowed freely from his nose and he cursed. "This is loco! I'm ending this!"
"Back off, Lieutenant!" Kaidan didn't recognize his own voice. He didn't recognize the icy feeling in his chest. He swallowed back his self loathing as James returned to hold Ann down as Leviathan wrecked her mind. She thrashed in the chair, almost knocking herself and James over. It was clear the hulking marine was struggling to keep his grip on her.
"Trace complete!" As soon as EDI's voice rang out, the orb shattered. The force knocked James forward and Ann from her chair. James reached, his closed fist connecting with the control for the containment field and Kaidan turned and walked away from the demolished woman before him. The image of her glassy eyes and the river of blood flowing from her nose was enough to tell him her fate. He swallowed hard, hands on his hips as Liara assessed her and James called for medical support.
Kaidan took a few deep breaths before walking over to the console. Garrus said nothing, though Kaidan had the sense that he wanted to. "Where are they, EDI?"
"I have the coordinates at the Normandy. We can be ready to leave when you are," she confirmed and Kaidan turned as the medical personnel arrived.
"She's a mess," James said as he came to stand by Kaidan. He could tell the young man was disappointed, but he couldn't bring himself to care. He couldn't let himself worry about the man's opinion of him. They had Reaper killers to find. Once the medical staff took her away, Kaidan ordered James, Garrus, and Liara to return to the Normandy and prep the ship for take off. They were going after Leviathan.
"I sure hope this was worth it, Alenko." It was all Garrus said, and it was all he needed to say. They left him alone in the lab and he looked around, surveying the damage. Broken glass and blood lay on the floor. A hologram had fallen off the desk. The frame splintered and the image of Dr. Bryson and Ann smiling together flickered. Kaidan sighed, scrubbing his hands over his face as he sent a silent thought to the heavens. He hoped it was worth it, too.
He turned on his heel. He knew it was time to leave, and he knew he had to go. This wasn't something he could trust to James. Especially after the Lieutenant had ignored his previous order. He had to see Shepard one last time before he left. He had to hold her hand. He had to kiss her lips. He had to tell her he loved her… just in case.
He reached the hospital in record time. As he approached her room he found Chakwas and Michel leaving with Miranda. Hesitant smiles on their faces, and Kaidan felt his chest clench. "What happened?" He called to them as he closed the final distance between them.
Dr. Chakwas turned to him, tears in her eyes, "She woke." The words knocked the wind from his chest and sent his insides soaring. Kaidan's knees went weak and he nearly fell. He reached and found support on the wall. He looked through the window and found her exactly as he'd left her, and turned to look at the doc who smiled at his confusion. "She's asleep, but she woke from her coma. Her neurological function is intact. Now, she must sleep to rest and heal, but she's going to be okay, Kaidan."
Tears filled his eyes as the doctor stepped closer to him. In a purely human moment, he reached out and pulled her into a hug. She laughed softly, and comforted him as he trembled. "I think she'd like to see you," Chakwas whispered in his ear, and he nodded, pulling away. He wiped furiously at his eyes and moved to the door. Miranda and Michel stepped out of his way as he wiped his hands on his pants.
He entered the room, looking to the monitors. She no longer had the tube down her throat helping her breathe, though there was still oxygen being supplied with the tube under her nose. Her lips and cheeks had regained some color. She didn't look dead, not like she had an hour ago. Not like Ann had when she'd left the lab. He fell into his seat by her bed and leaned forward. He rested his head on her hip and wrapped an arm around her thighs, holding her close. He could feel the blanket growing wet beneath his eyes as he held her. He hated that he wasn't here when she woke up. He hated that he wasn't the first thing she had seen. Though, he knew she would understand, it didn't mean he had to like it.
He hated that he had to leave, but she would understand that, too. He was just glad to know she had woken. She was going to be okay. He would go, find Leviathan, and come back as quickly as he could. He was startled for a moment when he felt fingers against his scalp. He hadn't expected the caress. He reached up and took the hand carding his hair and linked their fingers as he lifted his head. A weak smile pulled at her lips and he pressed tear stained kisses to her knuckles.
They sat there, drinking each other in for as long as Kaidan could allow. He sighed; regret lacing his exhale and Sloan just nodded. She understood. She knew. Without him having to say it, she knew. He had to go. There was a war on and he had to go fight it. There was a war on, and she was going to be okay, so it was time for him to go. He stood, leaned over and kissed her. It was gentle, chaste, just an easy press of his lips on hers and he felt her sigh into it. He ended the kiss letting his forehead rest on hers. Their eyes locked for a brief eternity. He pulled away, reluctant yet determined. He kissed her hand as he stood, and set it back on the bed.
He turned on a heel and went to the door. He stopped and looked at her over his shoulder. She had already fallen back to sleep. Sleep. Rest. Recover. I'll be back as soon as I can. He made the promise silently, but knew she knew.
She'd woken up. He had a reason to come back now.